Original subtitles

(scraping)

(sighs)

(tapping, scraping)

-(rhythmic thumping) -(scraping gets louder)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(blowing)

♪ ♪

(paintbrush scraping)

Light's leaving.

So, there's so much more I could do at this stage,

and I wanna do, but...

The light's leaving.

It's like the spirit of...

like, redemption.

I've been through a lot, but I'm still here.

-(rain pattering) -(street noise)

(hard rain falling)

-(dial tone) -Hello. I'm here to...

try to bond someone out of Olathe County Jail.

Guard (on speaker): Okay, you'll have to go to the municipal court.

So, you're gonna have to turn around

and go back by the fire department.

George Morton: Hello. I'm here to bond my mother out of jail.

Yeah. What's up?

Tela (on phone): What's goin' on?

I'm sittin' in the lobby.

Tela: I don't understand, was the Olathe warrant for what?

-Anthony... -For not going to court.

Tela: George Anthony, I went to court.

Listen, I don't-- hey, I'm not the judge.

All I need to know-- All I need to know

is what to say to these people for you to get out.

♪ ♪

They want you, they...

Listen, I don't know. They're comin' to get you,

and I'm out of 200-and-something dollars for nothing.

Tela: I bullshit you not, I did not know.

(siren chirps)

♪ ♪

(knocking)

(knocking)

(leash rattling)

(phone dial tone)

-Tela (on phone): Hello? -George: Hey, what's goin' on?

Tela: Nothing much, what's goin' on?

I just was calling to,

well, you know why I was calling, but...

-not that I need a special-- -Tela: Yeah, I heard your, I heard your message.

Well, I'd like to, um,

be able to spend some time together

and try to do some healing.

And talking, um.

Nuri asks about her grandmother.

She asks me-- She actually just said,

she's in the car listening right now, but she said, um,

"Daddy, do you have a mother?"

(Tela laughs)

Yeah, I don't know how to answer that.

♪ ♪

(leaves rustling)

Well, I don't know how this goes, so...

Well,

you know, one of my patent questions

when I'm first meeting someone is...

is who are you?

Well, I kind of always escape through art.

First memories would be

catching my grandmother smokin' dope.

I would find

my grandmother's purple Crown Royal bag

with, with a pipe in it.

Kinda... We kinda just...

always lived in...

There was a neighborhood drug house.

It was our-- That was where we lived.

It was like we were that...

that family, that, that house.

But I would always have these teachers in elementary school,

I remember Ms. Williams, that would just pull me aside

and say, "You got something here."

-You know, try to give me the talk. -Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

This potential...

that was kind of...

recognized and encouraged

from place to place.

(wind blowing)

(hip-hop music on radio)

-(siren wails) -So much of who I am today

is because of my family

and that whole experience of growing up

in my hometown of Kansas City.

(siren fades)

Just imagine how it looked to me

coming back for the second time in 20 years.

It's just a trip riding through here though.

This is where-- It's boarded up,

but that was one of the last spots I had right here.

I used to sit right out here on the steps.

Should look at this shit. It's crazy.

-When was the last time you seen me? -Michael: On Kensington...

I don't remember exactly what happened.

I just know you came runnin' into the house,

and all you hear is the helicopters and shit outside.

That's all you heard was the helicopters outside.

We knew that it was for you.

Bro, you came running into the house.

And you had told me you had just robbed a nigga

in Parker Square, for 13 8-balls.

'Cause I had asked you for one, I said, "Bro, go on ahead,

let me get one, nigga," and you like "nah." (laughs)

George: It's crazy.

Motherfuckers in my life today

-would never think... -That that's what it was?

...that that's what it was.

Man, I'm so glad I got pulled up out of that shit.

But you left me in it, though.

(dog barking, children playing)

(crinkling)

Okay. Bro, right there. Then we gonna take them off...

George: Okay, I will.

(crinkling continues)

(humidifier hissing)

It's not every day...

go back and kinda relive...

some of those memories and those moments, so.

Dr. Kynes: It's interesting you point that out, that...

your story, your experiences, your being seen...

it's no accident.

No mistake. No wrong path.

George: I'm always left with this...

-sense of, um, survivor's guilt, in a way. -Mm-hmm.

I feel like I have a problem with...

anger.

(sighs)

You believe that you can help me?

I got a pretty unique type of trauma going on, man.

-(laughs) -Well, George, let me put it this way.

Because you do the work...

I just sit and be with you,

and, and that's the help

because you're not here to be fixed.

-Mm-hmm. -It's an impossibility.

We just continue to experience more transformation.

-(engine rumbling) -(turn signal clicks, stops)

Kind of weird.

I don't know this person.

He expects me to just open up and tell him...

about my life.

He might be just as fucked up as I am,

for all I know.

♪ ♪

Tela: I was around, but I wasn't around.

I was there, but I wasn't there.

At 19, I had five kids.

All I knew what to do was work and sell drugs.

I gave them everything, but I didn't give them me.

He grew up in a penitentiary.

When he got out,

the first time I saw him, I just broke down.

We've been apart for 13 years.

I said, "You don't know me, and I don't know you."

We didn't have it. That mother-and-son relationship,

we didn't have it.

♪ ♪

(TV chatter)

Check this out.

Reporter (on TV): ...Kansas City native George Morton.

Now, if his talent doesn't grab your attention,

his story will.

After nearly a decade behind bars,

in the middle of the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art this week,

you'll find 35-year-old George Morton hard at work,

copying this Rembrandt, a way to study

and learn the techniques of the artist he most admires.

It was Morton's love of painting that helped him

rewrite his future. Even behind bars,

he was studying and painting every chance he got.

In a lot of ways, people that end up in places like that,

it's easy to write them off as worthless.

And I was just determined to prove that wrong.

Reporter (on TV): He recently graduated from a prestigious art academy...

-George: Hey, Mama. -Tela (on phone): What's up? Something wrong?

I was on the news today.

-Tela: Were you? -Yeah, uh...

Yeah, maybe when you get-- get home, check out...

channel nine. It's probably gonna come back on again,

but if not, you can get online.

Tela: What was it about?

Uh, I'ma, uh...

I should probably let you see it,

but just the work I've been doin'.

They came to interview me at the museum.

Tela: Okay, well just call me later.

-George: Okay, Mama. Bye. -Tela: Alright.

-Babe? You want to do it now? -George: Yeah? Okay.

(child chattering)

Alright, Nuri, I'm gonna need you to focus.

Ashley: It's unfortunate she's never gonna change.

George: I think if my mother could get real help,

her life would look different.

Ashley: She's had many people come to her rescue to help her.

She can't get out of her own situation.

That's on her, after... At 50? Come on.

-George: Can you just try to hold the pose for me? Um... -Yes, I'm holding my pose.

You, you have no concept.

You're so far removed from that world.

Man, the way you were raised versus the way I was raised

couldn't be more opposite.

Ashley: But has your mom ever asked for help?

-Sure. -Ashley: She has?

-Yeah. -Ashley: And what was the result?

It just doesn't last because she returns

to the same old conditions that created--

She returns to the same hopeless conditions,

the same depressing circumstances.

Ashley: But then why try to bring you down and destroy you?

I don't have any kids. I'm not a mother.

The things that she has done and said to you, George,

I can't even fathom.

She wants to be self-destructive, fine,

but then don't try to inflict pain on you.

And tear you down.

(distant horn blaring)

George: Yeah, you saw some stuff, heard some stuff.

And you wonder why I got trust issues.

(distant horn)

I still wanna paint her, though.

(quiet museum chatter)

♪ ♪

Tela: That is so awesome.

(laughs) So, what'd you say when you saw the news?

-Tela: Huh? -What'd you say when you saw the news?

I was shocked. I was amazed.

George: That was crazy. I still can't even believe it.

I done been on that news for...

Yeah, for the exact opposite.

-Tela: I love you so much. -George: Me, too.

Host: So, without further ado,

-George, come on up. -George: Alright.

(applause, cheering)

(applause dies down)

It's been very intense,

studying the incomparable

and unapproachable Rembrandt.

There was, there was a, a lot of chaos

surrounding his life,

and the lives of many artists throughout history.

My journey with Rembrandt started as a boy.

And it deposited something in me that would later grow.

And so, fast forward,

I ended up getting incarcerated at 20 years old.

I walk into the, um, to the prison cell, and there's my mom.

She's there. They had gotten her, too.

They actually used her to get to me.

Um... unbeknownst to her, of course.

-(whispering) -Um, and...

she was apologizing,

um, and we sat in that cell together.

She was released, and I'm off to federal prison.

And when I, when I began to learn about some of the systemic...

um, traps for people like me,

instead of it

creating a bitterness,

it created this strive for redemption.

I would just go to sleep and wake up every day with...

the question on my mind,

"What is my purpose?"

♪ ♪

Like, what is my reason for being?

Two ounces of crack cocaine.

For that small amount,

probably the equivalent of a couple walnuts,

I was sentenced to 135 months.

That's 11 years, three months in federal prison.

All of my 20s

were spent incarcerated.

♪ ♪

(drawing)

Photo day with the homies.

These are brothers in prison together.

Like, whole generations destroyed.

Fathers in prison cells with their sons.

Brothers in there together, like...

Like this shit was a setup to begin with.

Like all my neighborhood heroes.

I'm seeing 'em all in here, like,

"Hey, where the fuck you been?"

"Nigga, I been in here this whole time."

"Really? God damn.

I was wondering what happened to you."

Just like over and over and over and over.

I mean, it didn't take no time.

When you're getting sentenced, you go to this place

that's a transit center in Oklahoma.

And I swear, it's like auction blocks.

You know, they got us all sittin' on these...

on this long block, shackled up,

waiting to be sent to different prisons

throughout the country.

First picture I painted when I got there was this one.

And I set it right there in the recreation department.

and let people line up and place their orders.

So, I started painting pictures at the institutions

for the institutions

to finesse transfers.

Like, "Hey, I want to go to a lower security.

"I don't want to be here.

I'm worried about my life every day."

And when I got out of prison, I just implemented the same tactics.

The halfway house was literally in the hood,

like, the worst part of the city,

and I didn't know anybody here.

(street noise)

Wherever I would go to look for a job,

it wasn't going to be in that area.

I knew that I needed to go to a location

that would get my talent recognized,

and I just operated off pure faith.

First place I ran into was this gym,

and I saw this African-American gym owner,

and first place I go apply for a job,

I get hired because I knew all I needed to do

was paint one picture and put it on that wall

like I had done at every prison I went to,

and then sit back and watch what happens.

♪ ♪

Within not even a month, maybe a couple of weeks,

a board member for the Florence Academy saw it.

And within a year of arriving in the city,

I was in New York, studying at

the most prestigious art academy in the world.

I just, just felt that if I just took the next step,

it would open up before me.

You were planning.

One of the best things I've ever had to witness,

that's for sure, somebody comin' up like this,

and it was... And just to watch how it all opened up.

And just watching somebody being on a path,

and you set your goals and you're working towards them,

how those things, when they're falling into place,

-you know you're on the right track. -George: Speaking of that,

you were probably my biggest supporter

in the whole 11-year sentence that I had consistent.

I'm like, "Auntie, listen, these are Ivy League teaching me

-how to trade, teaching me-- -Learn it, learn it, learn it all.

Yeah, she's like, "What books y'all want?

Here, here! Take it! How much--"

-I'm like, "Can I come, so I can learn?" -Right.

I would never cross paths with these guys

-in a million years in Kansas City. -Right.

But you were perfecting that...

-With the art. Yeah. -...as well as the art. So, to me,

that was like your side hustle, going on while you're doing--

I had to 'cause, like, what would I do with art money

if I were to make it? It can't just be about art.

When I get out, where am I going to stay?

Location is important.

Sheila: You weren't playing.

But, like, what, what are people like that

without those who see it in them and hoist them up?

Right? And, like, lift them up?

There's no denying you at the top of that list.

♪ ♪

(cars driving by)

Alright, Mama. I-I-I-- That's-- That's--

Okay, I don't want to keep having this discussion.

I don't want to keep having it.

The issue is you want some fuckin' money and now

you want to put shit under the goddamn bridge

because you need something.

(indistinct response)

Yeah, I'll, I'll talk to you about it later.

I can't deal with that right now.

I'm busy! I'm busy! I'm busy! I'm busy!

Don't "yes or no" me. I don't owe you shit!

-(indistinct) -So what the fuck are you calling me for?

Don't call me if you don't like me!

Don't call me-- Don't call me asking me for shit--

If you don't wanna talk to me,

-if you ain't trying to be a mother... -(indistinct)

Mama, I got to go, aight? I got to go.

(distant horn)

(distant horn)

(sighs)

(drawing)

It's pretty dark stuff.

I feel-- I feel as if...

darkness is my friend.

Dr. Kynes: Each time you turn back

and you remember a little more

and you see a little more, and you feel a little more,

you smell a little more,

and it brings up...

your story,

you heal a little more.

(tapping, bowl ringing)

-(helicopter whirring) -(bowl rings)

(bowl fades out)

(dog barking)

Damn, I gotta get this right.

(birds chirping)

Tanisha: It's not like I didn't see no wrong in you.

Yeah, I know my older brother got problems.

One bad decision dictated

what you had set for your future

-at that moment. -George: I bullshit you not, Nisha.

Like part of my justification in my mind

when I was committing all those crimes,

I'm thinkin' I'd be able to tell the judge,

"My mama said it was okay for me to do this shit.

My grandma showed me!" Like...

Fuck the po-- Like, why would I care about the police

-if my grandma and my mama said it's okay? -Tanisha: Said it's okay.

-We learned from the best. -(laughs)

And you think that's normal?

-Tanisha: Why, y'all don't do this? -(George scoffs)

She showed me how to cook that shit.

You know what I'm sayin'? She showed me how to cook it.

Tanisha: "It wasn't no goddamn mashed potatoes, man!"

(drawing)

(birds chirping)

(echoing squawk)

Damn.

This is just something that

was never encouraged in the academic world

where I was trained.

As if it didn't exist.

But, I find this more interesting than all of those

European heads that they would make--

make me draw and paint over and over and over.

And these are Eurocentric features, Eurocentric...

skulls, and it's just like

this worship of all things white.

I was seeking to learn more about depicting skin tones

that look like the people I grew up seeing,

like my aunts, my uncles, my siblings, my mother.

And I wasn't gettin' a lot of that in the academic text

and in my training.

Why don't we have any...

any plaster casts of this

incredibly subtle and naturalistic sculpture.

Oh, is it because...

it's depicting Africans

in an elevated and dignified state?

♪ ♪

(dark music playing)

♪ ♪

Ashley: Why do you feel pressure?

George: I don't feel no pressure.

I'm only sitting in Rembrandt's chair.

I mean, it's just another day.

Ashley: He's looking over you in the afterlife. You're good.

George: You say that, but that's funny.

That's really how I feel.

Ashley: Well, you're here, right? (laughs)

Um...

-(street noise) -(birds chirping)

(street chatter)

(inhales, exhales)

I always stand in front of those Rembrandt paintings

and wonder,

where's that light coming from?

Why does it make me feel that way?

Like, so alive and present.

(elevator whirring)

♪ ♪

I don't know if they were moral people or compassionate people.

I don't know.

But when I look at the work,

there's something more underlying the surface.

There seems to be an inner world.

I'm carrying a tradition into the future

that, um, people like me

have never been a part of.

It's a beautiful tradition.

It's just that people of African descent haven't had...

a dignified role in it, a dignified place in it.

♪ ♪

(phone dial tone)

-Ceriyah (on phone): Hello? -Ceriyah.

-Ceriyah: Yes? -What's going on?

Ceriyah: Uh, they took Mommy.

The bounty hunters, they came and took Mama.

And they say she had a warrant and bail and some--

And the thing she said the warrant was from a year ago.

When did they come and take her?

Ceriyah: Last night.

-Barista: (indistinct) George? -Yeah.

Thank you.

What she... What did she...

There was a warrant out for her arrest...

George: Yeah, nobody knows what for.

It can be anything

that people do when their life is hopeless,

and they can't pay to get out of jail.

They can't pay fines, they can't pay...

Ashley: Or they can't show up to court?

They can't show up to court because they don't have a car,

because they don't have a mommy who takes care of them or...

They don't have to have a mommy or a trust fund.

-You don't know. You don't know that. -But you can show up--

You have no clue about what they can do!

You have zero clue what they can do.

Once you're in your 30s--

George: This is something we've been seein' all our life.

It's no coincidence that she's repeating it in front of her daughter.

You know how many times we had to watch

our mother get hauled off by bounty hunters?

This is a way of life

that is perpetuated generationally,

and if you don't understand that multi-generational... element.

I do, but when a bounty hunter

comes and knocks on your door, I mean, you're aware.

George: How do you know what that means?

Has a bounty hunter ever knocked on your door?

-No-- -I've seen them all my life. I know what it means,

and this is my conclusion.

I can't judge it. I'm not in it.

I don't have to wake up with that reality every single day

and have to figure a life out

from a place of negative, negative zero.

(indistinct phone chatter)

(scraping)

(ice breaking)

(sleeting)

George: Thank you!

(TV chatter)

(door creaking)

Fuckers broke my door.

-George: Oh, the bounty hunters? -Tanisha: Mm-hmm.

-What the fuck?! -Bro, when I tell you, like,

the bond that they revoked me on,

I had a court date for the next week.

Talked to my lawyer and everything.

They didn't go through the proper channel.

-But, Ceriyah had to see this shit though. -All of it!

All of it because the whole thing about it is

I was standing right here,

talking to a bounty hunter that get to breakin' this shit,

trying to screwdriver my door and everything.

I'm like, "Alright, I'm openin' the door.

I told you I did. No need to do all of that."

Soon as I open the door, just like this,

they yanked me out of the house.

I mean, literally yanked me out of the house,

and Ceriyah's standing right here.

(street noise)

(birds chirping)

Tre, I heard you wrote a rap.

Uh, you can call it a rap, I guess.

George: Can you spit it for me?

Treshon: I titled it "Rap for My Mom and Dad."

-Alright-- -Spit that shit!

I turn my pain into art, too. I get it.

"Mom, you know I love you, right?

"I see the things that you goin' through.

"Keep pushing forward, don't let this pain get ahold of you.

"I got some hope for you.

"I said I got hope for you, but really I be praying for you.

"All that smoking you be doing..."

George: I could say that about everything that I paint.

It's really a portrait of myself.

Treshon: "Be the best father that I can ever be.

-I don't want..." -George: My nephew, Treshon,

-I see so much of myself. -..."making money.

-Trying to make money moves, but it don't work..." -George: I feel like...

I've always managed to...

transcend the madness of my surroundings.

And in his own way, I think he does the same.

I mean, I've always felt a tremendous responsibility,

being some sort of a pillar to them.

And I was there and I was recalling something you told me

about how the body remembers.

And I'll be damned if things just weren't,

like, coming to the surface.

(quiet bowl ringing fading in)

-(ringing continues) -(street noise)

(ringing fades out)

Treshon: I didn't notice it at first until now,

but is this supposed to be

the person who gives them everything,

or, like, to be the slave or something like that?

George: (sighs) Um, yeah.

Yeah, they made it look like he was, he was, um, stealing...

stealing from them.

Treshon: I can't wait till you start trying to finish

that sketch of me.

♪ ♪

Did you go to Egypt a couple months ago?

George: I did.

They're sculpting with the hardest material

just to show how advanced they are,

using, like, high-level mathematics and measurements.

Doesn't Africa have, like, the strongest metal?

George: Africa has the strongest everything.

People, everything. Everything.

They are showing people

performing a ritual to this so-called deity

that exists only within yourself,

but they, they, they develop an elaborate system to awaken it

within yourself through pictures,

through colors, through ritual.

So, it's not about nothing outside of Treshon.

It all comes back to you.

♪ ♪

We're all having children now.

Some of us are passing our trauma on...

to this newer generation of children.

But no matter what he sees,

no matter what he's going through,

he just had this light, this inner light.

♪ ♪

-(music fades out) -(car rumbling)

(TV chatter)

(door creaks)

(indistinct chatter)

(kids laughing, playing outside)

-(drawing) -(indistinct chatter)

-Child: Why you gotta be so-- -(laughter)

Daddy, I feel better now.

That's really good.

It must be the medication. Let me see your tooth.

Hm...

My tooth is not hurting anymore.

That makes me so happy. Can I have a kiss?

(kiss) Thank you.

To them...

it seems like I somehow made it out.

But it's a fight.

♪ ♪

I've barely gotten one foot out,

living between two worlds.

(rain pattering)

This concept of duality,

this, this dark and light thing,

is applicable to my artistic process

and the struggles.

And you see the oneness of it all.

♪ ♪

Alright, you can take a break.

(door opens)

(door creaks)

(quiet street chatter)

(skateboard rattling)

(phone dial tone)

(dial tone)

(dial tone)

This shit ridiculous, bro. You would have to call around

-and check the jails and see... -(dial tone)

-Every time yo mama go missing. -Every time yo mama go missing, for real.

-She been doing this shit since we was kids, bro. -(dial tone)

What's the jail number? Is this the jail number?

Speaker (on phone): No, this is south patrol.

Okay, can you run my mama's name and see if she got arrested?

(clattering over phone)

-(leaves rustling) -(distant dog barking)

(quiet siren, getting louder)

(siren wailing)

George: This never-ending fuckin' cycle.

How the hell do you shake that shit?

GPS: Turn right onto North Cherry Street.

Then, the destination is on your right.

World is just set up for...

(turn signal clicking)

certain people to lose.

She can't help herself.

(clicking stops)

(birds chirping)

-(giggling) -George: Come on, let's go this way.

When my mother walked out...

she hugged me so tight

and just said "thank you" over and over.

She thought she'd have to spend Christmas in there.

My daughter was with me. She didn't know

what was going on.

(rattling)

Mama, don't feel bad.

You weren't planning to go to jail for a week or two.

No, I wasn't planning-- No, that was not in my plan.

If I had known, I would've packed for the trip.

-Do you remember me, Nuri? -George: Let me find the picture.

-No. -Tela: You don't?

George: Hm, let me see.

-Bet you don't remember that, do you? -Tela: You don't remember that?

This was at church.

You was with your grandma in church.

-I missed you. -Nuri: I missed you, too.

-I love you. -I love you, too.

Can I have a hug? Thank you.

(kiss)

-Now, you remember? -Yeah.

-Probably still don't remember. -(Tela laughs)

Tela: That time, you was just a baby then.

Yep, that was her.

(rattling)

Tela: What have I done that...

you can't-- that's so bad that you can't forgive?

I want a relationship with all my kids. All of them.

And I can understand the things that I did in the past.

I mean, I'm not downgrading,

I'm not saying that I didn't do it,

but every now and again, sometimes,

you need to forget that and grow up.

You can't keep living through the past.

That's all I'm asking.

George: That's what I'm here to do.

I feel love for her,

even at her lowest.

And I think about the system that failed her.

And at that point, I feel frustration.

Even anger.

My mother had me at 15.

We just pretty much grew up together.

She's like my sister.

She was a hustler.

♪ ♪

It's programming you from the womb.

I was not gonna go to Harvard.

Where was that at in my, in my foreseeable future?

How was I gonna be Ivy League?

What were my chances?

When the judge sentenced me to 11 years,

I said, "I'll show you."

When people reject me to this day

or doubt me even in the least...

I say, "Okay, you'll see."

I feel rejection easy.

I don't really have a lot of experience

-in, in, in social settings. -Dr. Kynes: Mm-hmm.

Um...

You know, I left the world as a child in a lot of ways

and was pretty much frozen.

Your dad bought these?

I can tell.

(bag crinkling)

George: (sighs) That's it right there.

You can put your chin down, turn your head towards me,

and then slightly tilt over, just like that.

That's good.

Tela: You don't know how tempted I am

to even work at a fast food

just to get some money in my pocket to get me back and forth,

to and from.

Because who is not, like, walking around broke is me.

I've never been walking around broke.

Why am I gonna start now? Bills are due.

Yeah, and this-- these quick fixes ain't gonna fix

those long-term issues--

I mean, I need money to pay the bills.

Is T gonna go back to selling drugs? No, I'm not.

So what am I gonna do?

Am I gonna take that temporary fix? Yes, I am.

To get me up outta the rut that I'm in.

I'm going to do it.

-And that's where I'm at. -George: I'm tired of you being there.

Tela: Oh, who ain't tired of being there but me?

I'm livin' it. You seein' it. I'm there.

-I'm in it. -George: I've been here with you.

-I know all about it. -I'm livin' it.

So who ain't tired of being here is me.

Makes me look older than what I am.

George: No, it's, um...

work in progress.

♪ ♪

There you go. You about to open this up.

(paper crinkling)

(door creaking)

(playful scream)

-(laughs, screams) -Tanisha: Shit.

(sighs)

George: It's just a trip.

-What did she say, bro? -Michael: I told you.

Tanisha: It's what it is.

They was gonna lock Tela up,

and they was gonna lock Tela up for a while,

and Tela didn't wanna go to jail.

So, Tela had to give up somebody and she had talked about

she didn't wanna give up you, but she didn't know nobody else.

(sniffles)

George: I didn't do my time thinking that Mama could've set me up

to go to prison instead of her.

I just thought she-- somebody got her high

and used her to get to me.

She was apologizing.

"Oh, I'm sorry for this. I'm sorry for that.

"Like, I'm sorry for...

doin' this to George Anthony, like..."

George: She's never admitted that shit to me before.

(children playing)

(Tela speaking indistinctly on phone)

Michael: She don't hesitate. Don't say that.

(indistinct)

-George: So, she wanna see me lose. -Ashley: Right, right.

George: You wanna put me back in jail?

Tela (on phone): Boy, I love you.

-Michael: Mama... -Tela: If I let you use my truck--

-George: I'm done, bro. Fuck her. -Michael: Yeah.

George: Get that shit off my speaker.

And she's still on the same bullshit trying to see me lose,

trying to see me fail. Fuck her and that painting.

How about that?

When she's making it plain and clear

that she do not wanna see me make it in life?

What kind of fucked-up ass-shit is that from a mother?

She got enough sense to make all-- to do all this fraud

and these fuckin' scams though.

She don't got enough sense to see, like, goddamn,

this boy got something positive going on.

-Why would I fuck that up? -Michael: Right.

When the fuck do you ever see somebody go to jail

for 10 years, get out and do that

after their mama snitch on them and put them in there?

(highway noise)

Dr. Kynes: So what, what happened this time when you were at home?

George: Well...

I learned from my other siblings...

that...

she may have had

a greater role

in my getting incarcerated

than what I once believed

or wanted to accept.

Um...

On the night that I was detained,

she brought...

the informant that...

ended up getting me locked up, supposedly.

That was the, the version of the story

that I had,

and that's the version that I, I ran with.

But my siblings and family,

they're all telling me, no.

She literally is the person who set you up

and put you away in exchange for her own...

you know, some case that maybe she didn't want

to deal with or face.

But,

she denies it to me.

And I still just want to believe her.

Dr. Kynes: Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

(deep inhale)

(exhale)

(inhale)

(exhale)

(deep breathing continues)

I dreamed I was in the wrong cell.

And you get in trouble when you're in the wrong cell.

It's like, if they catch you in the wrong cell,

it's a problem.

And Ashley was there.

Somehow.

It's just always consisting of...

elements from my new life.

As someone who's quote-unquote, "free,"

ending up back in prison with me,

except now I have to protect them.

♪ ♪

(breeze blowing)

(TV chatter)

Ashley: You wanna fly or drive to Kansas City?

We discussed flying.

Nuri: Am I gonna come to Kansas City?

That's the plan.

-George: Long drive. -(TV chatter continues)

When I finally did graduate,

I didn't really have anywhere to go,

-(plane roaring) -but...

I had a strong partner in Ashley.

She held me down, and she supported me and my child.

-(door opens) -Hey!

-George: Hey. -It's freezing!

George: Yeah. It's crazy. It was just super warm.

I know! It was hot in Atlanta, like sweating...

George: You weren't exactly raised

to be partners with someone who...

-spent time... in prison. -In prison? Yeah.

George: You know, that wasn't necessarily...

-what your parents had in mind for you. -Yeah.

But they're warming up. You got a gift.

You got a gift from them under the Christmas tree.

-I can't believe that shit. -(laughs)

Like, I think what ended up happening

is I brought so much of my, my issues...

into the relationship

that I'm only just now getting addressed through therapy.

I was a mess!

My anger.

I had a really short fuse.

To have a partner that's super patient with that...

it's a blessing.

-(children chattering, laughing) -(music playing)

My phone says 12:00!

-(children yelling) -Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

(shrieking, instinct yelling)

-(pop) -(distant fireworks crackling)

(joyful chatter)

Niggas is busing.

(indistinct chatter)

(chatter continues)

Ow!

Michael: All of our siblings have been to jail. All of us.

-We have been to jail, but you went to prison, bro. -(fireworks popping)

We've been to jail,

and we, we had more access to this type of world

that we live in than you do.

Bro, our upbringing literally deprived us

from thinking the way that we should be thinking

to where that would've marinate.

(chatter)

-(gunshot) -Tanisha: Oh shit!

Michael: That was a 12-gauge right there.

-(laughter) -That was-- See, that was something different.

-That wasn't no 22 right there. -Hey, everybody, welcome to the hood!

-(laughing) -Michael: Nah, we shoot guns.

-We shoot guns in Kansas City. -Tanisha: That was!

(laughing)

-What's success? -You know what I'm saying? Like, what's success

-other than accomplishing your goals... -(fire crackling)

-...whatever the fuck they are. -(laughs)

Tanisha: The only person out of our families

that was destined for greatness was you.

-George: How though? How? -Like, because...

-the one thing-- -George: What made me so better?

-We grew up in the same household! -We did. We did.

-George: We got the same opportunities... -No, we didn't.

-George: Oh, so I got more opportunities? -Tanisha: You did,

-and the crazy part about it-- -Michael: I don't think he did.

Where?

Tela was my mama.

Like, when Tela went to jail, when Tela disappeared

-and everybody's dads would show up to remove them... -(fireworks popping)

...I was stuck with Barbara! I know y'all's daddy!

I'm like jealous! I remember--

-Listen, I remember us cracking on each other. -Tanisha: Right!

Like, "Nigga, nigga, your daddy...

that's why your daddy--" Y'all used to talk about me!

Like, "That's why your daddy ain't here, nigga."

-Michael: Yeah. -"My daddy, nigga, daddy--

My daddy better than yours!"

I used to wanna call y'all daddy Daddy!

The crazy part about it is it took for you to go to jail

to actually see the potential that you had in yourself.

-George: So you think jail was my opportunity? -Tanisha: No.

-Michael: It was an opportunity. -Melany: And if it was, it was only 'cause he took it that way.

-It's only because it was in me! -Tanisha: No, I'm not sayin'

that jail was your opportunity. Jail was your awakening.

George: How many niggas you know go to jail?

-How many of them get awakened? -None.

-None. -George: So, if jail isn't inherently good...

(fire crackling)

♪ ♪

-(fire roaring) -That shit gotta burn, dog.

I'm telling you, that shit was burning

every night when I sit in my cell,

and I didn't get a letter from my mama,

when I didn't know Ashley,

when I didn't hear from my brothers, my sisters,

nobody! That shit was burning!

I swear to God, it was burning.

I swear to God, it was burning.

-(fire crackling) -Swear to God, I ain't lying to you...

(roaring)

(popping)

(distant gunshots)

♪ ♪

Dr. Kynes: So, George, as we begin today,

I want to invite you to take in three deep breaths

through your nose and out through your nose fully...

and deeply.

We welcome the spirit of the ancestors

who are already with us, but we honor their presence.

As we fellowship now.

It is for the ancestors.

(acoustic bass strumming)

♪ ♪

(birds chirping)

(music becomes more intense, avant-garde)

(helicopter whirring)

-(crowd screaming, fades in) -(siren wailing)

(screaming continues)

(single protester screaming indistinctly)

(indistinct protests continue)

(single protester yelling)

Treshon: People think this world is normal

when it's really not. Racism is still around...

freakin' people are dying and everybody just thinks it's okay.

George: You see the dude that, um, that, um...

Was jogging?

George: Him. He was--

And then another dude was just walking,

and then the cops was following him,

so he started running. He got shot.

-George: He got shot. -Um...

Breonna Taylor, I believe her name was,

she was just chilling at home. She got shot.

Uh, let's see who else. Trayvon Martin?

He was just walking home. He got shot.

Martin Luther King, he got shot.

Malcolm X, he got shot.

George: I mean, you've seen... You've seen a lot.

You know, you step out that door,

a lot of people don't want to see you live.

Hold on, that actually kind of scares me about life now.

George: I mean, I get it. I get it.

It seems powerless. Like, what can you do?

But what you can do is fight it with knowledge.

Knowledge is your weapon.

Look more closely at African history,

the African origins of the world, the whole world.

Every single race came from people

as dark as our family.

They're scared of you. Why are you scared?

They know that there is a giant asleep within you.

And they fear today that that giant wakes up.

(rain pattering)

I actually visited my dad.

Right after I got out of prison.

I was able to get in contact with him.

♪ ♪

Before I got locked up, I had just met him,

and I tried to start interacting with him.

You know, I was already kind of grown and didn't need...

much from him at that point.

Father: And you stayed with us for a while. Good while.

I still remember that one time

where you had the whole house laughing.

-George: The beans? -The beans, boy.

-George: You tell me that story all the time. -I said, how the hell?

We was sitting up there, you was sitting at the table,

ready to eat.

She put some beans on your plate, you said,

"Ah man, beans again?"

(both laugh)

Had the whole house laughing.

It's funny though. My daughter's the same way right now.

You put some beans in her face, she going to be like,

"Man, if you don't give me some chicken nuggets or...

(both laugh)

-...piece of chicken or something." -How old is she now?

-She 5. She 5. -Yeah?

Yeah, I had a baby as soon as I got out.

Um. So, yeah.

She's, uh, she's just like me.

Look like me and everything.

Father: Yeah, that's good. What's your mother up to?

-She just... -(George exhales)

-George: Like, you know-- -I hate to hear it.

George: Well, I mean, you know, when you have...

She got an addiction. You know,

that's what your grandmother was on.

But back then, they called it Sherm.

George: You remember when Barbara was on Sherm?

Yeah. Man, she would-- I would come over,

and I was talking to your mother,

and, you know, one thing led to another, and she said,

"Come on, let's go downstairs."

I said, "What about your mama?"

I'm doing like that. "Your mama here."

She said, "She don't even know you're here."

Say what? And I noticed she hadn't moved.

George: But she didn't... She was high?

She didn't even know I was there.

-George: What was she, just high? -Just sitting there.

And I walked over there, and I did like that.

George: Get the fuck outta here.

And she never blinked or anything.

-That happened just like that? You did... -Just like that.

And when she found out that Tela was pregnant,

she was eight and a half months pregnant.

- Didn't even notice. -Didn't even-- Not never.

She was sticking way out.

I came over one day, and she was sober.

Oh man, the shit hit the fan.

(imitating): "That better not be you pregnant!

That better be you just full!" I said, "Yeah, full of baby."

(laughter)

-So... Damn. I never knew that, man. -Yeah.

That's the way it went.

(insects chirping)

(wind blowing)

♪ ♪

Tela: Having a baby at 15...

I mean, all I wanted was love.

-George: Right. -I...

Somebody to love me.

And I figured that having a baby at 15...

that would be somebody that can love me.

That I can love.

But not knowing...

what can-- the things that came along with that.

And then when I had to, I didn't know what to do.

How to do.

George: I mean, I'm glad you had me, though.

Thank you. Thank you.

Tela: I mean, you was planned on purpose.

I mean, you was really planned.

Really planned.

Seriously, you just don't know.

♪ ♪

You were planned.

Did your daddy tell you where your name came from?

George: No, you... I just assumed

that it was a combination between him and my uncle.

Tela: George came from my daddy.

Anthony came from your daddy.

Dwayne came from a guy that I was liking.

-George: What the fuck? -(Tela laughs)

Why are you giving me random niggas' names and shit?

Did he at least buy some diapers or something?

(laughing)

Like-- (laughs)

I'm changing my name to an African name, like.

-(laughing) -I don't want this name no more.

So, who's this nigga? What's he doing today, like?

(laughing)

Just a guy that I was liking in school.

-His name was Dwayne. -He know you named your baby after him?

No!

♪ ♪

-(insects chirping) -(fishing reel spooling)

-(quiet splashing) -(rod clicking)

George: You know how to do it, Michael?

Damn, when I was locked up, you motherfuckers was out here

-learning how to fish, huh? -(both laugh)

Michael: Y'all also understand

-who we was in Oklahoma for about four years. -Right.

-Y'all was fishing in Oklahoma? -Mm-hmm.

Your eyes are probably better than mine.

Take it through this hole.

You can take it through this one.

There you go. Connect that one.

That end to this.

There you go.

(poles rattling)

(insects chirping)

George: Want me to throw it for you?

-(reel spooling) -That's good.

-Tela: Know how to do it? -George: I just need to hold that.

Tela: Yep, and then when you throw it, let it go.

-(splash) -George: Goddamn!

Tela: (laughs) He like Devon, Michael.

-He's like Devon. -Michael: Oh shit!

George: Why didn't that work though?

-That ain't my fault. -(Tela laughs)

I let it go! Like, it didn't, it didn't go.

Tela: I'ma show you. Let me show you how to do it.

As soon as you toss it, you let it go.

-(reel spooling) -George: I thought I did.

♪ ♪

-Is it working? -Tela: Mm-hmm.

-(insects chirping) -(gentle splashing)

-(doorbell ring tone) -Hey, Dr. Kynes. Hold on. Here, say hi, Mama.

Hello. How are you?

Dr. Kynes (on laptop): Hello, how are you? I'm well, thank you.

-Good to see you and meet you. -Nice seeing you as well.

-Dr. Kynes: Thank you much. -Alright, she's stepping out.

Dr. Kynes: So, what's going on, my friend? What's on your heart

and your mind?

George: I just really wanna be more light,

less serious,

more happy and, and, um, joyful.

And I just wonder if life has hardened me

and made me incapable.

Dr. Kynes: Not incapable. Healable.

Not lost.

You know what a relationship is really about, George?

It's really about George the adult,

person, man.

And George,

having a relationship

with his inner little boy.

Because you're the only one

who can release him from the inner prison

that he experienced early on.

(wind blowing, leaves rustling)

♪ ♪

An affirmation affirms...

something to yourself. Like, you tell yourself,

"I am this."

Not "I will be" or "I need to do."

You'll be trying forever, you know,

but the minute you say "I am,"

it's done already.

-So, write this one down. Write down... -(pen clicks)

(pen clicks)

"I am not what has happened to me.

I am what I choose to become."

Your mind is a garden

of fertile soil,

and you can plant any seeds you want in there.

And so what if you began telling yourself, "I am great"?

I am not what happened to me.

I am what I choose to become.

Tupac wrote a poem about a rose that grew from concrete.

That's definitely not a fertile...

gardening place.

But yet, even a rose can grow from concrete

if you know how to plant that seed and nourish it, and so...

(quietly) ...positivity.

So...

Write those down. We'll put them on a wall or something.

I mean, the same thing I told you about...

eagles versus pigeons. Which one would you rather be?

(quietly) I remember that.

I always said I wanted to be an eagle.

-George: Why? -Because they fly higher than pigeons.

George: They fly higher, and what does that allow them to do?

-See more. -Exactly.

-Don't be no pigeon, Tre. -I'm not.

(click)

Do you even know where this place is that I'm painting?

Nuri: Egypt?

George: Do you know your name comes from a place in Egypt?

-Nuri: No. -Nuri is in Africa.

It's, um, it's the place where the Black pharaohs come from.

Nuri: I knew it!

-See where they're from? -Yeah.

-What does it say? -Nuri.

But, I was actually... (stammering)

I actually asked Nissa about our ancestors.

-George: Oh, really? -Mm-hmm.

But I don't really remember what she said.

Tela (on phone): Well, I'm thankful that the axle didn't break.

'Cause that's what I thought broke,

but the axle did not break.

I'm about to start painting, but go ahead.

Tela: I paid... George Anthony,

I need to pay for the tow.

Okay. Just send me the Cash App information, Mama.

I'll get it done. I need to get to work.

Tela: Okay. Thank you.

-Alright, Mama. You're welcome. -Tela: Alright.

(hangs up)

(distant horn)

(water dripping)

(distant horn)

♪ ♪

George: I went to Egypt and saw with my own two eyes

naturalism thousands of years before

Rembrandt would ever walk the Earth.

I look at it as a tradition that preexisted Rembrandt

and my favorite old masters,

and that they kept the torch burning

for people like me

to step up and take my rightful place in it.

I see the spirit of just...

like an unwillingness to just give up.

An unwillingness to fail.

(indistinct)

♪ ♪

Is it not evident that there was some beauty

in the ugliness of all this?

That there was some good that can come out

of a seemingly bad situation?

I think I'ma finish it.

I got-- I made a few attempts already.

Tela: I thought that one was already done.

Hell no. This thing need to look

like you're ready to start talking.

We're not finished yet.

It'll be a trip if I can get it in that, um...

museum down there.

Take people to the museum and be like,

"Yeah, I'm on the walls in here."

It don't look like much yet, but...

No, it's gorgeous. I love it.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪