All language subtitles for El.Ultimo.Hombre.Sobre.La.Tierra.2022.SPANISH.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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Original subtitles

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Good morning, Liliana.

PESTY

Thank you, Sara.

Have a lovely day, Liliana.

Lola!

Boss, at 10:30, you have the call with the New York office.

Then you have lunch with the ad agency people

and a closing meeting with Marketing at 2:00 p.m.

-Okay? -Oh, no, Marthica, why at two?

But, Boss, I kept your afternoon clear

so you can go home and change for the Christmas party.

Speaking of that,

tonight I'm making my wish for the coming year.

-Did he RSVP? -Yes. Why else are we going over it?

You'll read the Joyful Mystery and the prayer to the Holy Child.

Tonight is key. Nothing can go wrong.

Boss.

Aren't you scared of fishing off the company pier?

Especially when your golden prize is the big boss,

the Employee of the Month.

I am scared, Marthica, but one must take risks.

And I do.

Out of the way, PinzĂłn. Out!

-Come here, son. -What now?

You couldn't get out of bed today, huh?

No, traffic in this city is impossible.

Where were you last night?

The usual spot. They say hi. Don't you owe them money?

Oh, yeah? You should go punch in, it's the third time you're late this week.

-Come on. -It's okay, my boss and I are cool.

Oh, is it cardamom? Thanks.

Marthica, the one thing missing in my life is love,

and I know Camilo feels the same. I have to take my chance.

Good morning!

Good morning.

Ready for tonight's Christmas party?

Ready.

See you later.

Gosh, Boss!

You look like a waiter in that vest, LĂłpez.

Show some respect, mister!

-It's a gift from my gramps. -Yikes…

CamilĂ­n, give me five.

What a stuck-up. As if he were the boss.

He is. Show some respect.

I don't beat the crap out of you because I'm in a hurry.

-You know-- -Take that ugly vest off.

With all due respect, Boss, what does your golden prize feed off?

Because he's hot as hell!

He's so cute I could just keep him in a cabinet at home

and never take him out again.

He's perfect.

Ladies.

Talking about me again? Change the subject once in a while.

Pesty, will you buzz off? Thank you.

Why so aggressive, Marthica?

Hey, beautiful, have a nice day.

Okay, bye! Get lost! Leave!

Cool it, girl. It's Christmas time.

Bye-bye, Pesty.

-What's with this guy? -I don't know, Boss, he's an idiot.

-He's such a creep. -Don't mind him, come on. In just a few--

-He blew me a kiss. -I know! Gross!

Yuck!

We need the rebranding you are working on

to have an impact not only on the marketplace

but also on the company itself.

We need it to reach all layers of the corporation.

To achieve it, a clear and strong message is essential.

We know that you, as a company, are looking for a modern management,

a horizontal management.

Aiming at that, your motto must be:

"Autonomy at work and individual responsibility."

ACCESS FORBIDDEN TO UNAUTHORIZED PERSONS

Unbelievable. This guy is worse than a stomachache.

What? Are we there yet? Is it lunch time?

We're having lunch, aren't we?

Lunch, man? It's just 11:30 a.m.,

and we can't work hearing your loud snoring!

Sorry your little head didn't hit the hay.

I wasn't sleeping. I was thinking, pondering, meditating.

Then you must be the first human who snores while thinking.

Those weren't snores,

those were meditative mantras to help me get into a creative state.

But how would you know that, you brute?

Excuse me? "Brute"?

And even inside out, that vest is hideous!

-Say that again! -Don't threaten me!

Next time you interrupt my meditation, I'll teach you a lesson.

Put that pencil down!

-You know what? -Listen--

I'll complain to Human Resources about this awful work environment!

It's Christmas. What's wrong with these people?

At least keep the place clean!

What an ugly vest, LĂłpez.

He's right, though. It is ugly.

It's so very ugly!

-Sara, silver or gold earrings? -Silver.

-Marthica, anyone there yet? -They're arriving. What about you?

I'm a mess. I still don't know what to wear.

-Sara, black or red shoes? -Red shoes.

Boss, don't be long.

You know how bad traffic gets at this hour.

Marthica, bear with me.

On the most important night of my love life,

I can't just show up wearing whatever, I must look perfect.

Gosh, Boss!

Get moving, your golden prize just arrived.

-Already? -Yes!

Remember your wish for the coming year is also the world's most punctual man.

Among his many other qualities, right?

Keep him busy for 20 minutes, I'll be there soon.

Thank you, Mrs. Saturia.

Mrs. Saturia sent this for you, Marquitos.

-Okay, but take it easy. -You serious, man? Nah!

It's Christmas time. Where's your Christmas spirit?

Mind your drinking. We have the Christmas party at the office.

-Don't forget it. -Exactly!

That's why I need some liquid courage.

I don't know if I ever told you,

but I have a next-year resolution:

to stop being single.

I think that's great!

I've always thought you deserve a fine woman

to help you get your life together and keep you cozy at night.

-You really think so? -Yes!

Any slow burn romance I don't know about?

-Well… -Who?

Please tell me.

Miss Liliana.

She and I are made for each other.

-Are you serious? -Of course, Marquitos.

Miss Liliana is very peculiar,

she seems to be distant and serious,

but deep down, she's just shy and insecure,

and also very lonely.

But I am an expert at reading signals,

and she has given me all of them, Marquitos.

And you know what?

Her body is full of passion and about to burst.

Do you know when that passion will burst?

Well… tonight?

Tonight.

I heard her talking to her secretary.

She told her, "I don't want to be alone anymore."

"I want to be with someone."

And do you know who that someone is?

I guess… you.

Right?

Right.

-I'm so nervous, Marquitos! -Yeah.

Damn!

Hurry up, Jesus, come

Come

"Help for the weak, refuge for the suffering"…

Come

-…"comfort for the sad"… -Come

…"light for the exiled."

"Life of my life, my beloved master,

my constant friend, my Divine brother."

Hurry up

Jesus, come

Come

-LĂłpez. -LĂłpez!

LĂłpez! Hurry up. Quickly!

Come

Come to our souls, Jesus, come

-Okay. Amen. Uh… -Leave me alone.

-"I don't want the"-- -It was my turn!

What did you think, huh?

Okay.

"May my eyes, in love with You, see You."

"I've kissed your hands, I've kissed your feet."

"Prostrated on earth, I lift my arms up."

"And rather than my words,

my tears tell You"…

Get him out of here. Go.

Come

Come to our souls, Jesus, come

Sorry.

Hurry up, Jesus, come

Come

What's up, Boss?

How's it going?

Martha, Pesty is a disgrace.

How embarrassing!

I honestly don't get how such a buffoon can be on the payroll.

Speaking of which, where is he?

I took care of him. I left him over there, having some food.

-So now's the time? -Yes.

-Go for it! -So?

-Let me see you. Gorgeous! -Okay, I'll go.

Gorgeous as usual.

Who invited her?

Lorenita needs no invitation, Boss.

She's the new sales manager.

I can't believe she's here.

-And who wears that to a religious event? -Boss…

No, no, no…

No.

What a bitch!

-Now that floozy will know me! -Yes.

-Say that again, LĂłpez. -Of course, watch me.

You're a disgrace.

You're a pain in the ass.

You're worse than a farting cow!

Don't you see we all at this company are fed up with you?

LĂłpez, please.

Don't stir up the hornet's nest. I'll handle this. Please.

Get a grip, have some respect for this office and go home.

What do you think of my reading during the party, Marquitos?

-I confessed my love to her. Remember? -Yes.

She totally blushed.

No, hold on!

Marquitos, please. I don't want to go home yet.

I'll call you a cab.

Wait until I come out with Miss Liliana holding hands.

Is she going to hog him all night or what?

I don't know, Boss. Should I do something?

Something like what?

I don't know, anything that can free your golden prize from Miss Silicone.

Oh, she's leaving!

This is your chance, Boss. Come on!

Cutie, you're my lucky charm.

Guess what? I'm free tonight.

You can fulfill all your repressed fantasies

with this body.

I thought you'd gone home.

-Where? -Home.

No. I wanted to tell you that what I read was meant for us.

-Okay, Pesty-- -Why don't we make it come true?

Come

-Come to our souls-- -Pesty!

-What? -Listen to me.

You know who you should have read that to?

Marthica. Remember Marthica?

-Marthica? Why her? -Marthica.

She's head over heels for you.

-Marthica? Really? -Yes.

Yeah?

-Just trust me. -No.

Marthica won't stop asking about you.

-Marthica? -All the time.

-For real? -For real.

-Marthica. -So, where is she?

I think she's… on the first floor.

Go, go get her. Go!

Find her, this is your chance.

Don't you think it's a nice gift?

LĂłpez, what am I going to do with that Melchior figurine at home?

No, it's not Melchior. It's Balthazar.

-LĂłpez! -Oh, no!

Not this douchebag again. Get him off me.

-Chillax, it's Christmas. -Stop making fun of my vest.

-Mr. Camilo is looking for you. -Mr. Camilo?

He asked me about the guy in the nice vest and I said,

-"LĂłpez." -LĂłpez, yes.

Please put the wise man back.

-Okay. -It's Melchior. Not Balthazar.

-I'll take care of him. -Okay?

-Yikes… -I'll never forget it.

-Please, LĂłpez-- -Marthica, my heart is aching.

I'm about to break your heart, sorry. You have to be strong, but…

my heart belongs to another woman.

-What? -You have to be strong.

We can still be friends.

-Do you enjoy collecting stamps? -No.

Neither do I. Help me with Miss Liliana, please.

-Pesty, have you gone nuts or what? -She's too shy.

But if you help me out, maybe she'll notice me.

Will you? What do you--

A little push?

What happened?

That bitch hasn't let go of him all evening.

You haven't talked to him?

-Didn't you see what happened? -What?

I was on my way to Camilo when Pesty showed up.

-Where were you? -Putting up with that nutjob.

I don't know where he got the idea that I'm drooling over him.

No!

-What? He's deranged. -Delusional.

-Insane! -So, where is he?

I sent him straight home.

-Are you sure? You keep saying that. -I'm sure, yes.

But I had to promise him I'd help him win you over tomorrow.

-What? -I'm so sorry.

-Okay, enough. -It was either that or…

-Focus. -Yes.

Let's do this.

Don't you worry, Boss. I'll do the dirty work.

-Why else did we go over it, then? -Go get her.

Miss Lorena, may I have a word, please?

-Now? -Yes, now.

I won't be long. Just a second.

But, Marthica, I'm busy here talking with Mr. Camilo, see?

No, please, it'll be just a minute.

-How about tomorrow? -No, it can't wait till tomorrow.

-Hold on a sec. I'll be right back. -She'll be right back.

-What a sweetheart. -Just a minute.

You startled me, cutie.

Hey, cutie, I ran into Marthica

and had to tell her some horrible, hard truths.

-Hadn't you gone home? -No.

And you and I should go somewhere to talk about our feelings

and this burning passion that's consuming us.

Mmm, wild sex in unconventional places.

Listen to what I have to say and make sure it sticks.

The only way you and I could be together

is if you were the last man on Earth.

-You really mean it, cutie? -Don't call me "cutie"!

And yes, you'd have to be the last man on Earth.

Cutie! The last man?

What happened?

I had to put Pesty in his place. I left him locked up in the bathroom.

Oh, no!

So? Did that witch leave?

-She's such a pain! -Did she or didn't she leave, Martha?

You took too long.

What does that mean, Martha?

Bad news, Boss.

Your wish for next year just left with Lorenita.

Oh, Martha…

She brought out the big guns and took him.

But don't be sad. We'll come up with a new plan tomorrow.

Good, all three of us are here.

We have some things to discuss.

One, two, three, three, two, one.

No, that's enough, Boss.

-Martha. -What?

Why is this happening to me, Martha?

Everything was perfect tonight.

Everything was perfect, and look what happened.

Boss, sometimes it's just not meant to be, okay?

-Martha. -What?

That man was the only thing missing in my life.

And now he's off with that witch!

No. Hey.

-Give me that. -Enough, Boss.

-No, ma'am. -Why not?

I'll go get you something to sober you up.

-Leave me that bottle. -No.

BUSINESS CENTER

EXIT

EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH

MartĂ­nez?

Sánchez?

MartĂ­nez?

MartĂ­nez?

Sara?

Sara?

Sara?

NO SIGNAL

NO INTERNET CONNECTION

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

Hello!

Cutie!

Remember how you said

you'd only be with me if I were the last man on Earth?

Well, you're in luck, because I am the last man on Earth.

What shall I pour you, cutie?

I almost missed you, cutie.

You run, I run, you run, I run.

What are we drinking? I've got whiskey, beer, wine, vodka, gi…

What's wrong? Are you okay?

What's wrong? Please don't die in here!

Pesty!

Look, Pesty. Listen.

Here--

Here, drink this.

Drink it all.

-I thought this was a dream. -It's not a dream, it's a nightmare.

-Depends on how you see it, cutie. -Enough with the "cutie"!

It's "Miss Liliana" for you.

As you wish, cutie.

What are we having for breakfast besides this sausage?

Here's your breakfast.

-Listen, mister… -Chacón.

ChacĂłn.

Unfortunately, you are the only person here with me.

Get a hold of yourself and help me find out what happened.

People disappeared. That's it.

Get up and help me find out what happened!

Okay.

Pesty, what are you doing?

I'm just so thirsty.

And a bit nauseous too.

-I'm going to… -I'll kill him!

All better now.

Come here. What are you doing?

Calm down.

Look, more food!

Pesty, what are you doing?

Hey, calm down!

Hey!

What are you doing, Pesty? Come on!

I hate this guy!

Cutie, slow down.

What's with that attitude?

Why so negative? I see it all differently.

This is a good thing.

Oh, I knew this delicacy would still be here.

You know what we are?

We're some sort of Adam and Eve.

We have to repopulate the Earth.

You think the world was going fine? Nah. I think it was going poorly. Want some?

-No. -I do.

Don't feel down.

We'll make it through this.

What's more, we'll repopulate the Earth.

This smells funky.

Check the expiration date. I'll go get some lemon.

That whole digital era and connectivity deal?

No!

Pure bullshit. It doesn't make any sense.

Yes, people are more connected. But in touch?

No, I don't think so.

They'd rather send a text message than make a phone call.

That eases things.

It eases things, but it's isolating too.

It keeps people away from each other, no one pays attention,

everyone gets dismissed quickly so you don't have to see or feel them.

Everyone just wants to be done with you quickly.

They sold us this… Oops!

…this idea that the digital era was like a new religion.

Everyone bought that shit, but not me.

I don't buy it because…

You know what I think? People are isolated in their own bubbles.

And who profits from that?

Wild capitalism and neoliberalism.

-Look at this delicatessen. -That's all fat. Gross.

Of course. There's nothing better than fat to cheer you up.

That whole healthy food crap? They got you there too.

People are sad and angry because they eat nothing but grass.

Fat, on the other hand, boosts omega-3.

And we need energy to repopulate the planet.

Okay, Mr. ChacĂłn, I'll make this clear.

If this whole lecture is about you thinking you have a chance with me,

even if you really are the last man on Earth,

it's not happening!

But you said so.

Because you were driving me mad! I was trying to get rid of you.

Besides, I never thought this would ever happen.

-But it did. -I don't care.

Now the world's bigger than ever.

Why don't you find your own place and leave me alone?

Don't you care humanity could go extinct?

I prefer that a thousand times to being with you.

Unbelievable.

I'll go take a shower.

And I'm warning you, when I come out, I want you gone.

-You're breaking my heart. -I'm sorry, but that's how it goes.

I want you gone when I come out of the bathroom.

What are you doing here?

Cutie, I just did the math and I do have to shower today.

So, if you shake a leg and come out quickly,

I'll scrub myself down and leave.

I brought soap, and found this.

Why isn't it working?

Pesty, you'll give me a heart attack!

Make some noise so I notice you, for fuck's sake.

I didn't mean to startle you. Here, have a drink.

You definitely have a screw loose.

And you definitely need a drink.

Weren't you supposed to leave the apartment?

Yes, but I'm not as clueless

as to leave you alone when you're feeling so down.

Here, drink this.

Just one. One glass can't hurt.

As soon as I see you feel better, I'll leave, I swear.

I'll go, I'm off.

One, just one. Please.

Come on.

Here. There you go.

Come on, you can do it.

There you go.

Good job.

Coming right up.

Okay.

Truth is, let me tell you…

Hey, listen! I'll tell you.

My life was this close,

like this close,

from being perfect.

And…

Are you really sure about that?

Didn't you notice how good I was handling

responsibility with autonomy?

-Responsi-- -It was more responsibility than autonomy,

but I was handling it super well.

Oh, autonomy with responsibility.

Well, pardon me.

You know what I think?

That's just a new way of exploitation from modern capitalism.

Workers exploit themselves,

congratulate themselves for it and are even thankful for it.

You're such a taleteller.

Like taken from a book. Where did you get that from?

Look, when there's no working hours, no office and no boss,

you end up working from your tablet, from your phone, all the time.

For the benefit of whom?

You don't even have the time to celebrate your so-called success.

There's nothing like badmouthing your boss,

and having a schedule so you can leave at five on the dot

to go sit around on your butt.

You have such a way with words.

-I know! -You should make a living off it.

To sitting on our butts.

Alcohol's not my only indulgence.

That night, I was going to seal the deal with Camilo.

But then it all went to shit.

Camilo, Camilo, Camilo.

Camilo was no prince charming.

And now he's gone.

-There's just me. -That's what I mean.

-What? -It all went to shit.

Cutie, I want to ask you something.

-Don't call me "cutie." -Okay.

What did that Camilo guy have that I don't?

Are you serious?

He was about four inches taller and 16 inches slimmer.

That's nothing but outdated cultural beauty standards

that have nothing to do with pleasure.

What yarn will you spin this time?

Okay, just hear me out.

When you fuck, you do it naked, right?

-Generally. -Exactly.

When we fuck naked, we're all the same.

There are no social classes, everyone's equal.

Wrong!

Come to that, pretty will still be pretty, and ugly will still be ugly.

You're the one who's wrong.

When you're naked and you're fucking,

you get closer to the other person and your visual field is limited.

Everything's out of focus, like in movies.

See?

And then touch, the true sense of pleasure,

comes into play.

You know what, Pesty? I'll give you that.

You're a natural at talking.

One ends up buying anything you say. I mean it!

I'm just being honest.

Or you're getting me drunk to get me into bed.

That too.

I'll tell you something.

I may be heartbroken,

I may be desperate, I may be drunk,

but I still find you utterly and absolutely ugly.

And aren't you compelled by the experience…

of banging an ugly guy?

Oh, my God. What was that?

Now you can properly call me "Pesty."

That was sex with an ugly guy, with an unconventional beauty.

I had no idea half of the things we did could even be done.

And I didn't show you all my tricks.

-Bring it on. -Want to try?

-Already? -What are we here for, then?

Hey, babe.

What's for breakfast?

Nothing. Get out of my house.

-Again with that nonsense? -Pesty, this is as far as we go, okay?

Yesterday was a mistake. The worst mistake of my life!

Get out of the apartment. Now.

-Last night was nice. -It was horrible!

Besides, you did it on purpose.

You got me drunk before doing that to me.

I didn't do anything. We did it together.

I take my share of responsibility,

and I swear to God I'll never drink again,

but you, leave now! You're a professional charlatan.

Or else who knows what I'll end up doing with you here.

-Come on, cutie, it's not like that. -Get out! Didn't you hear me?

Get out! Now!

-Out! -Okay, I'm on it.

Cutie, are you sure this is for the best?

There's still so much for us to try.

-Bye. -Our bodies burning with passion?

-Goodbye. -Just a kiss at least?

-Just leave. -Here, so you won't starve to death.

Cutie…

I knew you'd liked it!

WEEKS LATER…

What are you doing there?

I want to freshen up, but I don't know how to turn on the Jacuzzi.

-That's not a Jacuzzi. -It isn't?

What's for breakfast?

Fat.

I'll bathe tomorrow.

-Pick that up, it's still good. -I'm on it. Hey!

-What day is it today? -Thursday.

-Is it bath day? -No.

And I almost jumped into that puddle with the fish.

This one, this bite with fat on the side.

That's delicious.

BEER

Pesty.

We hadn't tried that one before.

I just came up with it.

Well, I loved it.

We should patent it so no one will steal it.

Let's name it "the Prancing Piggy I."

-One? -Yeah.

I'm planning ahead for improvements, one, two… twenty.

Let's try a second version then.

-Boss! -Martha?

When I woke up, I was all alone.

I went out in the streets, the same.

I went to the office hoping to find someone, but nothing.

I heard voices,

but it was all empty and deserted.

The same thing happened to me.

Really? And I tried looking for this building,

but I couldn't remember where it was.

It was like something was erased from my mind.

Until today. I went out to the grocery store

and suddenly remembered where your apartment was.

-Amazing, huh? -How wonderful, Boss!

We won't be alone anymore!

Babe? Who was it?

-Marthica? -Pesty?

What are you doing here?

What's he doing here?

You're living here together with Pesty?

But together…

as a couple?

-But, Marthica, Robert-- -"Robert"?

Roberto is not as we thought he was.

-He isn't? -No.

All this time, I've come to realize he's sensitive,

he's smart, he's fun.

And…

I didn't know I was multi-orgasmic.

-What? -And that I enjoy "urophenia."

-What's that? -That's not the point here.

Look, just give him a chance.

Get to know him, talk to him,

and you'll see why I fell in love.

In love?

Oh, Boss.

In love with Pesty?

I told you not to jump on the bed, you'll break it.

Hey, cutie.

Views here are beautiful frontward and backward.

-Marthica's in the guest room. -Is she staying tonight?

Sure, the world is deserted and she's alone. I won't leave her.

Yeah, that's true.

Besides, if Martha's here, there may be more people around.

Who cares about that?

Let's not think about that. Let's pick up where we left off.

No, Pesty. With Martha here, it's embarrassing.

Let's go to sleep.

Embarrassing, cutie?

-Let's go to sleep. -But why?

-Cut it out. Let's sleep. -What?

Cutie.

Don't call me "cutie"!

Some Christmas spirit is definitely what this house is missing.

Some glitter. This is too dull, too boring.

Oh, I love this one!

I'll put this one on and hang this one… here!

Gorgeous. Divine. Okay.

-Good morning. -I love it. What's up, cutie?

This goes over here.

What are you doing?

Arranging these bottles, hon. This Christmas looks very sad.

Cutie.

Marthica!

Aren't you hungry?

Let's go. We'll have fat.

Well. I'm done.

This is a recipe my grandmother taught me, I hope you'll like it. Here you go.

-What's this delicacy? -Something I made for you.

Hope you'll like it.

-Great seasoning, Marthica. -Yeah?

Let me know if I went a little overboard with the salt.

-Want a fork? -No, it makes food taste worse.

Okay.

Cutie, I forgot the knife and fork. They're there in the kitchen.

Hurry before it gets cold, hon.

What is it?

-It's okay. -I'm fine.

Delicious.

Roberto?

Bite me! Woof!

One more time? Yeah?

-Yes. -A third one?

-Okay. -One, two…

-Roberto? -Okay, I'll go.

I love it!

What are you doing here?

Cutie, I was so thirsty,

and couldn't find the key to the fridge, it has a password, it's locked.

It's a really nice day. Shall we go for a jog?

Oh, no, my doctor forbade me any kind of workout,

and my religion opposes it, too.

What about you, Martha?

No, Boss. You should've told me earlier.

I just had some scrambled eggs, I can't even move.

I can't believe neither of you are coming with me.

Being sedentary will kill us.

Sedentary? I'm doing mental crunches. 1001, 1002, 1003…

I'm sure they'll do you lots of good.

-Could you make me breakfast? -Yes, ma'am.

I'll be back in about two hours, okay?

Just two hours.

Hold on. Third time's the charm.

Here I come!

What's going on here?

Boss?

You had the whole fucking world to yourselves!

The whole world. But no!

You had to do it here.

In my house! In my bed!

I'm sorry, Boss.

But you told me to give the tiger a chance.

"Tiger"? You have some nerve!

-So you call him "tiger" now. -No, sorry. Roberto.

And you're so obedient, right, Martha?

I told you to get to know him, not to get in his pants!

But, Boss, I swear I don't know how this happened.

"I swear I don't know how this happened."

I think you knew damn well what you were doing.

-No. But-- -No? Enlighten me then.

But let's look on the bright side.

Now I know I'm multi-orgasmic, too.

And I also know what "urophenia" is.

Look, Martha, I think it's best for you and your "tiger"

to pack up your things and get out of this apartment.

And don't give me that pout and those crocodile tears.

Those won't work on me!

You're a couple of traitors.

I never saw that coming from you.

No, but…

-It's not that bad, you're overreacting. -You don't say!

You just have to look at the bigger picture.

I'm the last man on Earth.

You can't be so selfish as to think only you will enjoy me.

Oh, aren't you nice.

Look, I've got love for both of you.

You should be like sisters who keep each other's backs.

Look at the Arabs.

They have those harems, they live in community, in peace.

Monogamy is just another lie of the Western culture

and the Judeo-Christian morality.

-I agree, Boss. -"I agree, Boss."

You can believe this charlatan all you want.

Since you're so happy together, you both can go fuck yourselves!

Why so aggressive?

What do you expect me to do, kiss you?

I'll leave and come back in an hour.

I don't want to see any of you here by then!

Tiger.

Ice? Okay, darling.

Camilo?

I woke up all of a sudden. I was in my car

in the middle of a totally deserted street.

I felt like a castaway.

At that moment, I started to realize

I was the last human being on Earth.

Oh, no. That's a terrible feeling.

The last thing I remember

is that I was dropping Lorena, the sales manager, off at her apartment,

she said she was feeling sick.

It seems she had eaten too much of the fritters and custard.

Apparently, alcohol hit her hard, so she asked me to drop her off.

So…

nothing happened between you two?

Of course not.

-No? -Nothing at all.

In fact, before whatever happened happened,

I was coming straight here

to look for you.

You were?

Of course I was. I was ready to make things happen between us.

But…

But it's never too late, right?

Really?

You don't get it, but you came at the perfect time.

How nice to hear you say that.

Things were super complicated at first, but I'm back to normal now.

Besides, with you here, everything changes.

I'm so happy you're here!

I feel the same way.

Hey, CamilĂ­n!

You two are here?

Yes.

They were paying a visit, but they're leaving now, right?

Actually, Marthica and I discussed it, and we can't.

We have nowhere to go.

The world is empty. How could you have nowhere to go?

-But we're fine here. Right, Marthica? -Yes.

Plus, we have some exotic drinks here, right?

But, as you can see, there's someone else in the house now

and we're going to need some privacy.

We get it now.

If that's the case, don't worry.

-You won't even notice we're here. -You won't.

You're not getting it.

-I need you to-- -If I may,

I don't think it's necessary for you to leave at this precise moment.

After all, we're the last human beings on the face of the Earth,

and the closer we are, the better, right?

Oh, CamilĂ­n!

-He's as cool as ever. -So nice. Yes.

-Any leftovers for CamilĂ­n? -Yes, chorizo.

-The chorizo is good. -Excuse me.

I've got some booze if you want. I mean, beer.

Thank you, babe.

"Babe"?

Since, unfortunately, I'll have to put up with you here

for who knows how long,

mentioning what happened in this apartment before Camilo got here

is strictly forbidden.

You'll start a relationship with lies?

You were the worst slip-up of my life.

No offense, Marthica.

None taken, Boss. Be my guest.

Pesty, just so you know,

I just acted out of desperation.

You and I should have never happened,

and you must erase it from whatever brains you have left,

if you have any.

I don't agree.

I don't, but…

-if that's what you want… -I do.

…it's fine to me. Right, babe?

I'm going to drive you crazy.

You almost killed me!

-Already? -That was exhausting.

It's not always like this.

-Wasn't that kind of quick? -Yes, but solid.

I've been thinking about it, and you and I are the perfect couple.

Remember to turn off the lights.

What's wrong with them? Is he torturing her?

No, I don't think so.

Those two are wild. Remember to turn off the light!

Yes.

-Just like that! -They're wild.

Liliana, sweetheart, time to go out.

Get up, lazybones. It's time to work out.

-What time is it? -Almost 6:00 a.m.

The best time to take the early morning air.

I see you didn't sleep a wink with the ruckus those two made last night.

No!

And that poor girl? Does she run on batteries?

I thought she'd never stop. You were right.

We can't keep living with those perverts.

I'll talk to Pesty later and tell him they can't stay here.

Camilo!

Camilo!

Come on! You can do it!

Yummy.

-It's so good. -I know, right?

This is delicious.

Do you know how many carbohydrates are in that?

-Carbo what? Did you put that on it? -No.

We don't use seasoning, it bloats us.

Want some?

Are you eating or not?

Yes. Come on, girl, dig in. Go get a knife and fork.

You look a bit pale.

Give me a bite of that.

Where did you get that moisturizer?

I've searched for it everywhere! It's great.

Top quality.

I'll go out with Pesty later today

and find a way to tell him to leave the apartment.

I won't be blunt, of course.

Look, girl.

It's so cool that they're friends!

Yeah. Cool.

And they both look just the same.

What are you saying?

Our drinks are running low, girl.

Oh, change that long face.

I'll admit this is all a bit weird, but you can't complain.

In the end, your wish for the coming year came true, right?

-Well, yeah. -Good!

I'm sure you must be thrilled, your heart thumping like…

Yeah, so thrilled.

And I can't complain either, girl.

You know what they say: If it's meant to be, it will be.

And you were so right, girl. Pesty's definitely not what he looks like.

The man's just… wow!

I don't know if it's a sin to be this happy, but I'm so in love.

-He just makes me feel like-- -They're taking too long, aren't they?

Oh, no.

Next time, we should choose a finer drink, girl.

Hey, Boss.

Here.

Martha, I can't take any more coffee, it's giving me jitters.

It's just that I see you there, so lost, just staring off into space…

Of course, Martha, it's late and they haven't come back.

-What if something happened to them? -You think it did?

-Well… -Nah, I don't think so.

-We're all alone in the world. -Let's go look for them.

-Okay. -Let's go.

Just sit down.

Sit still. Okay, good.

Where were you?

It's the girls. What's up? I'm going to… Fuck!

No! Pesty, my man!

What's so funny?

We bought chicken, but he ate half of it and threw it up.

But we brought you the other half, girls.

-Yummy. -Our dear girls.

We had such a good time.

-I love you, Pesty, my friend. -Look what we do!

He threw up again.

He's very sick.

-Look. -He can't hold his drink.

I'm okay now. Give me a peck!

-No, now you're-- -Oh, come on!

I love that!

-No. Slowly! -There!

Easy, easy. There.

-There. -Oh, yeah.

Right there!

Oh, where will this little finger go?

I love that!

And now, let's go at it again!

Don't tell me you changed your mind about having a ménage à trois.

This situation can't go on.

I've had it up to here! I won't let you ruin my relationship with Camilo.

What did I do?

Getting him drunk? Don't you think that was no good?

He asked for a drink, I gave it to him, he got drunk.

It's not on me if he can't hold it.

Cutie, you're too stressed.

Mind your tone, and don't call me "cutie."

I'm sick of you two.

You and Martha are doing it all the time like rabbits!

You and I did it like rabbits too and I didn't hear you complain about it.

I want you to pack up your things and leave this house.

-Starting with that again? -This time, it's for real.

Pack up your shit and leave.

CamilĂ­n, this protein is the best cure for hangovers.

Come on, have some.

No, don't eat it yet. Don't be hoggish!

Check the expiration date and put lemon on it if it's a bit funky.

You can keep the jacket, Martha.

Really? Thank you!

They look so cute together, right?

How could they grow so close in just one night?

That's how men are.

Hey, Boss, thank you so much for your hospitality.

Sorry for everything I did wrong, and thanks again.

No worries.

-Take care. -Bye.

Bye.

I'm going to miss good old Robert.

But at least we'll have some privacy to snuggle, right?

I'll go get some lemon.

You're eating that?

Wow, you almost killed me!

You're a sex machine!

Already?

That was almost like a marathon.

Remember to turn off the lights when you go to sleep, okay?

Let's spoon.

Camilo!

What are you talking about?

What do you mean?

I'm talking about autonomy and responsibility at work.

-It's a very important matter. -I don't get it.

Don't you think this is a trap?

It's a trap and we don't even see it.

Oh, no, Lili, don't start with that, it'll give me a headache.

Hey, should I keep this golden mask on for 20 or 25 minutes?

It's starting to sting.

You almost killed me this time.

Lili, I mean it: You're the best.

Spoon?

Hey, wait!

Hurry!

Oh, no!

So, Pesty… how's Martha?

Fine, she's fine.

We miss you a lot.

How are you guys doing?

We're fine. Getting by.

We're happy.

Cool.

It's weird how it's all still decorated for Christmas.

It's as if time had stood still then.

You know what we should do?

We should get together to celebrate New Year.

Together?

You know, with Marthica and CamilĂ­n.

I don't even know what day it is anymore. Wasn't that long ago?

Who cares?

These rituals are what really make time pass.

Otherwise, things are so constant and boring.

My mom, for example, took part in every festivity during the year.

She started with her birthday, then Mother's Day,

Father's Day, Valentine's Day, Christmas, New Year's Eve,

and thus, there's always something to make time less boring.

And I've never met anyone happier than my mom.

You're right.

Let's celebrate the New Year and start over with a blank slate.

Really?

Really.

The tamales are ready.

Tamales? But what are we doing with the turkey then, Lil?

That's too American. We've got tamales, fritters, custard, yummy stuff.

Aw, not tropical carbs, they give me heartburn.

-And the grapes? -They're ready.

But you know those folk traditions don't really go with me.

I find them a bit tacky.

The last straw would be going around the block with our suitcases.

Our guests are here.

The guests! What about the turkey?

-Lorena, Miss Silicone? -The very same.

-I can't believe you liked that witch. -Come on, don't you agree?

As my friend Pesty says, she was ho--

No, she wasn't my type.

But she had a huge pair of eyes!

Okay! Enough!

Enough. Let's change the subject.

-Okay. -Turkey?

Lili, the turkey's going to get cold!

So, you're going to leave me dancing alone?

I'll dance with you, Pesty.

Yes, girl! Hit it!

Really, Lil? Aboriginal dances?

It's twelve o'clock! Happy New Year!

-Where's the suitcase? -Outside, babe. Go look for it.

Who wants to go around the block?

Yeah, go around the block, to bring lots of traveling for next year.

I feel like going to Europe again this year.

How so? Did you go to Europe last year, Pesty?

No, but I also felt like it last year.

So, who's coming with me?

No, thank you. I've had enough of that folk stuff.

So, no one's coming?

No one? No? Nobody?

Well, I'll be right back then. Later!

Lili, shall we cut the turkey?

Roberto.

-Wait for me? -Sure.

You're in such poor shape. What's in that suitcase?

Wait.

Hold on.

Hold on. Just a second. Wait for me.

Hold on, I have to tell you something. Wait for me.

-I have a confession to make. -What is it?

I'm running away.

Running away? From what?

From my life with Marthica.

New year, new life, but without Marthica, because…

I don't want to be with her anymore.

Why don't you go and tell her instead of running away like a criminal?

No. I have told her a thousand times, but she won't get it.

She wants us to be together all the time and I don't want that anymore.

That's why I can't carry the suitcase, it's packed.

I threw some stuff I hope she won't miss in it.

But, truth be told…

ever since I left this apartment, I can't stop thinking about you.

I mean…

I remember the good times we had.

Do you remember?

At one point, we were having a great time, right?

We were having fun, laughing all the time, and it was…

it was like being happy, right?

It was nice.

-You're drunk, aren't you? -Yeah, a bit.

But…

I had never been so sincere in my life.

It's like…

I think I love you.

-Walk with me. Let's leave. -What?

-Move, let's go. -Where will we go?

I don't know.

Anywhere, the world is empty. We can go anywhere we want.

-My… my suitcase is empty. -It doesn't matter.

We can take whatever we want from any store.

What about Camilo and Martha? We just leave them hanging?

They're together. They won't be alone, they have each other.

-Come on. -No.

We can't go around the world doing as we please.

-Okay. -As if we don't care--

It's okay. I understand.

But then, this is…

goodbye?

We go our separate ways.

Tell Marthica, but from a distance, she has a temper.

And you must never forget that…

I will love you as long as I live.

Happy New Year.

Roberto.

This is crazy,

but I'm coming with you.

I don't want to let you go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Good morning, Liliana.

Thank you, Sara.

Have a lovely day, Liliana

Boss, at 10:30, you have the call with the New York office.

Then you have lunch with the ad agency people

and a closing meeting with Marketing at 2:00 p.m.

Okay?

-At two? -Yeah.

But I kept your afternoon clear

so you can go home and change for the Christmas party.

I'm reading, right?

You'll read one Joyful Mystery and the prayer to the Holy Child.

Boss, is something wrong?

No.

I just had a weird night.

Don't worry about that,

it must be because of your plans for the party tonight.

Let's keep going then.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Ready for tonight's Christmas party?

-Ready. -Super ready.

See you later.

With all due respect, Boss, what does your golden prize feed off?

Because he's hot as hell!

-Yes, well, let's go. -He's perfect.

Ladies. Talking about me again? Change the subject once in a while.

Pesty, will you buzz off? Thank you.

Why so aggressive, Marthica?

What? Bye! Get lost! Leave!

Hey, beautiful, have a nice day.

Yuck, Pesty! Bye!

-Cool it, girl. It's Christmas time. -Bye-bye, Pesty!

Yikes, Boss. He's so disgusting! He even blew you a kiss.

"Life of my life, my beloved master,

my constant friend, my Divine brother."

Hurry up

Jesus, come

Come

Cutie, you're my lucky charm.

I'm free tonight, so you can do whatever you want with this body.

You can fulfill any fantasy you have.

I thought you'd gone home.

No, cutie.

And what I read, I read from the heart.

I feel that prayer was written

so I can express my true feelings.

Why don't we just practice that…

Come

Come to our souls, Jesus, come

Come.

Well, why not?

Your place or mine?

Wherever you say, cutie.

How about we decide that on the way?

Let's go now.

As you wish, cutie.

Merry Christmas, cutie.

-Fat? -Fat.

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