Original subtitles

(mysterious music)

(letters whooshing)

(waves crashing)

(letters whooshing)

(dramatic music)

(Jonathan gasps)

(Jonathan panting)

(Jonathan groans)

(Jonathan panting)

(Jonathan groans)

(Jonathan panting)

(Jonathan grunts)

(Jonathan panting)

(Jonathan groans)

(Jonathan panting)

(branch cracks)

(Jonathan exhales)

(branch cracking) (Jonathan panting)

(branch breaks) (Jonathan groans)

(Jonathan panting)

- Stay awake.

Okay.

(Jonathan panting)

(clasp clicks) (ropes whirring)

(Jonathan groaning)

(Jonathan groans)

(Jonathan panting)

(Jonathan sighs)

(Jonathan panting)

(Jonathan sighs)

(Jonathan grunts)

(lighter clicking)

Oh, come on!

(Jonathan sighs)

(lighter thuds)

(suspenseful music)

(pistol clicking)

(Jonathan sighs)

(matches rattling)

(match strikes)

(Jonathan inhales)

(Jonathan sighs) (engine rumbling)

(dramatic music)

(gas mask hisses)

(gas mask clatters) (gas mask hissing)

Afternoon.

(Ella speaks in foreign language)

- Hope you don't mind me making myself comfortable.

- Are you an American?

- Yes, ma'am.

(Hans speaks in foreign language)

(Ella speaks in foreign language)

What are you doing here?

(dirt rustling)

- You German?

- What are you doing here?

- Crashed.

(Hans speaks in foreign language)

(Ella speaks in foreign language)

What is your name?

- Jonathan.

- Jonathan what?

- Danger. My name is Jonathan Danger, ma'am.

What division of the Third Reich you soldiers from?

- The Third Reich.

It's 1985, the glory days are gone.

Berlin belongs to the Soviets.

We sadly now work for Mother Russia.

Danger is a most unusual name, is it not?

Is it your real name?

- Sure.

- What are you doing all the way out here,

20 miles off the coast of Africa?

- You know, I didn't know anybody knew about this place.

I paid a guy to fly over and I parachuted in.

- And how were you planning to get

off the island, Mr. Danger?

- Oh, please, call me Jonathan, ma'am.

- And you can call me Miss Fritz.

Ella Fritz, if we get along.

How were you planning to get off the island?

- I've got an exit strategy.

- Do you now?

- I do.

- So we have the how,

but what we don't have is the what or the why.

So you'll have to excuse my bluntness,

what are you doing here and why?!

(gas mask hissing)

(Jonathan chuckles)

- You know, I do like a girl who's straight to the point.

- Are you a spy?

- Spy, no, no, no. I'm a entrepreneur.

- I will not ask again, what are you doing here?!

- That is a tough question to answer

and even harder question to answer quickly.

- Can you toss me those matches?

(match strikes)

You have 30 seconds.

Go.

- 30 Seconds?

- 28 now.

- My family's in the business of finding the exotic

and selling it to the wealthy.

- The exotic?

- Yeah, the exotic.

You know, the bizarre, the strange, the exotic.

You know, wealthy love that sort of thing.

You just have to be willing to go places they're not.

Find it, bring it back.

- Sounds like you want to be Indiana Smith when you grow up.

- Jones.

It's Indiana...

Nevermind.

(Ella exhales)

(thrilling music)

- Oh, Jonathan, how naughty of you.

- Chances are, I'll get at least one of you.

- But only one of us.

- Tell Hans to put his down and I'll put mine down.

- His is bigger than yours, is it not?

(dramatic music)

- It's not about the size.

- Trust me, it is.

(gun fires)

(Hans shouts in foreign language)

- You shot him!

- Oh, please, that's just a scratch.

He'll be fine as long as he doesn't go for it again.

I take it the keys are in the jeep?

- What?

- Ze keys to ze jeep.

- You can't have our jeep!

- I wasn't asking permission.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, wouldn't do that.

(engine rumbling)

(suspenseful music)

- [Ella] Shoot it, shoot it, shoot it!

(guns firing)

(tires squealing)

(guns firing)

(bullet ricochets)

(gun clicking)

(tires squealing)

(Hans sighs)

(Hans speaks in foreign language)

- I'm not.

(gun fires)

(body thuds)

(thrilling music)

(static crackling)

(engine sputtering)

(Jonathan panting)

- Come on.

Stay awake.

(Jonathan exhales)

(gentle music)

- [Violet] Daddy, I love you.

(fire roaring) Daddy!

(Jonathan hyperventilating)

- Come on.

So close. (engine whirring)

(engine rumbling)

(button clicks)

(upbeat music)

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Come on over, baby ♪

♪ You're looking so good ♪

♪ She's hot ♪

♪ Let me tell you what she's got ♪

(engine rumbling)

♪ Ooh, so hot ♪

♪ I think I'm gonna blow my tire ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ So hey, little sugar, don't stop pouring fuel on my fire ♪

♪ I'm on fire ♪

♪ Come on, now ♪

♪ Ooh, light my fire, baby ♪

♪ I've got a strong desire ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Uh, she's hot ♪

♪ Gonna make my cradle rock ♪

(punch thuds)

(Jonathan groaning)

♪ Think I'm gonna blow my tire ♪

♪ Come on, now ♪

- American!

- And I hate commies!

(gun thuds) (horn honks)

(suspenseful music)

What's the matter, Ivan? Vodka withdrawals?

(Jonathan grunting)

- What?!

- I said...

Hey. Are you having vodka withdrawals?

- Yeah, I heard you the first time!

- Well, then why'd you say "what," you idiot?

- Yeah 'cause it didn't make any sense.

- Oh, so you don't like vodka?

- You think I'm Russian?

- You speak pretty good English

for a KGB spy, you know that?

- I'm not a KGB spy.

- Oh, so you think I'm the idiot? You think I'm the idiot?!

I'm not.

See that, that, is why you guys are not gonna win this war.

And we are gonna kick your Russian asses!

- What? - Yeah, that's right,

the US of A, and don't you forget it!

(kick thuds) (Jonathan groaning)

(Jonathan coughing)

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

You hurt your head there?

- You hit me with the butt of your gun.

But that doesn't hurt as bad as my ribs.

(Jonathan groans)

You actually didn't hit me that hard.

- I knocked your ass out, didn't I?

(Jonathan chuckles)

- Yeah, I can't give you all the credit for that.

That mostly has to do with the tree branch.

- Oh, the tree branch.

- Yeah, yeah, when I landed.

- When you landed?

What, so there are more Russians, then?

Is that what you're saying?

- Oh, for the love of God, man, I'm American!

- I bet you love baseball and hotdogs, don't you?

- Yeah, yeah, I do, actually.

- Oh, that's good.

That's good. Did they teach you that in spy school?

- What spy school?

- Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Loose lips sink ships, pal.

- What are you talking about?

- You and I are gonna sit here-

- [Jade] I don't think he's a Russian.

- What happened to you?

- I'm getting closer.

- Closer to what? - Ah, ah, ah.

You don't talk to her. All right?

- Put the knife down.

He's obviously an American.

- Yeah, well, then why is he in a Russian jeep?

- I don't know. Did you ask him?

- I didn't need to.

- Are you a Russian spy?

- I'm not supposed to talk to you.

- Oh, if you are,

I am gonna gut you and eat you for dinner.

Bet you taste like goulash.

- Forgive him. This is my brother James.

He's a little overprotective.

- Friends call me Jungle Jim.

- Nice to meet you, Jungle Jim.

- You ain't a friend. All right?

- Well, some people call me Jonathan. Jonathan Danger.

I'm an American.

I crashed in a Russian camp about an hour ago.

- What are you doing out here, Jonathan?

- Well, I stole one of their jeeps.

Problem is I didn't get too far.

I may have a punctured lung

or some internal bleeding.

- [Jade] What happened?

- A tree branch went through my rib

during my not-so-awesome landing.

- Let's see. - No, no, no, he's bluffing.

He's bluffing.

No, no, I said don't. He's bluffing.

He's...

(Jonathan groaning)

- Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.

(Jonathan panting)

Ouch, ouch!

(Jonathan groaning)

Don't, don't, don't, don't.

The blood's dry and it's scabbed over.

It's stuck to my shirt.

- I can't help you if I can't see what's going on.

(Jonathan groans)

(Jonathan panting)

- [Jonathan] Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.

(Jonathan panting)

- Did you go through his stuff?

- Don't go through my stuff!

- All he had was this pack.

- [Jade] What's this?

- That's Mr. Bear.

- Mr. Bear?

- Yeah, that's Mr. Bear.

Can you just put it back in my bag, please?

- Why?

- Because if you don't, I'll have to kill you.

- You'd have to kill me?

- It was my daughter's.

So yeah, if you don't put it back, yeah, I'll kill you.

- You said was. Where's your daughter now?

- She's dead.

- Go search his jeep.

Go.

- Well, he's a breath of fresh air.

What's your name?

- Jade. Jade Calloway.

I don't believe it.

You really know where it is, don't you?

This is a map of the island.

You really know where it is.

This is incredible.

- Oh, what the hell are you doing, woman?

- It's not what it looks like.

- It looks like you're taking his shirt off.

- Okay, then it is what it looks like.

(engine rumbling)

- Is there anyone else in your group?

- Shh. (Jonathan mumbling)

(man speaks in foreign language)

(gas mask hissing)

(man speaks in foreign language)

(Jonathan mumbling)

- How many more people in your group?

- Just me.

(Jim grunts)

- All right, last chance and be honest.

Are you or are you not a Russian spy?

- I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not! - All right, well,

it was nice knowing you, buddy.

- We can't just leave him.

- Yeah, yeah, you can't just leave me.

- Why not?

- Because he knows where the temple is.

You see these lines all over his body? That's the map.

He literally has it tattooed across his skin.

We can finally find it and get off this island.

- Oh, no.

- Yes, yes, we need him.

- I don't think so. - We need him.

- No.

(Jade whispering)

(Jim whispering)

Let's go.

- Can't just...

- Fine, have it your way.

(thrilling music)

(rope rasping) (Jonathan grunts)

(Jim grunting) (bags clattering)

Come on, let's go!

Hold my knife!

(guns firing) (bullets ricocheting)

- Don't move.

(gun firing)

- What are you doing?

- There's a revolver stuck in the back of my pants,

but I can't reach it without giving away our position.

Can you reach it?

- You want me to reach around you?

- [Jonathan] Yeah. Grab my gun.

- No. - What?

- No.

- You wanna get killed by Russians?

(Jade sighs)

I told you to grab my gun, not feel my up while you do it.

- I'm not trying to feel you up.

- Got it?

(gas mask hissing)

Pull the trigger!

(gun fires) Again!

(gun fires)

(Jonathan panting)

- Woo! Yeah!

Sis!

That was so rad!

- You think there's any more Russians on the island?

- Yup.

(gun snaps)

(Jonathan sighs)

(gentle music)

(Jonathan groaning)

- [Jonathan] I gotta stop for a second.

(Jim sighs)

(canteen rattles)

(Jonathan sighs)

(canteen clatters) - Hey!

That's littering.

- Sorry about your daughter.

- It's okay, I'll be seeing her soon.

- [Jade] So you believe it's really here?

- I do.

- And that it's not really a temple?

- It's my only way back to 1982.

This was hers.

Mr. Bear.

After the fire, it's the only thing I have left of her.

- Oh, god.

(tongue clicks)

- Mr. Bear. Not a very creative name.

- When I gave it to her, she asked me what his name was.

That's what I said.

- [Jade] What was her name?

- Violet.

Violet Monroe Fogg.

(fire roars)

- Why wasn't her last name Danger?

You're not sticking to your story, comrade.

(punch thuds) Ow!

I'm making sure that he's not lying to us.

That's gonna bruise.

- So, what's the plan?

- The plan is to follow your map.

Why'd you do it? Why the tattoos?

(Jonathan sighs)

- I travel light.

Figured this way, it'd be harder for anyone to get the map.

(Jim chuckles)

- I don't know about that.

Someone wanted that map off of you,

they could probably get it.

- Yeah, well, they'd have to skin me.

- That's what I was getting at.

- Yeah, well, then they'd have to kill me.

- That is also what I was getting at.

- Well, then I'd have no need for the temple, now would I?

I'd be dead.

- How are you planning on getting

through all those soldiers?

- I didn't know they were here.

Didn't know anybody was.

Locals on the mainland said this island was uninhabited.

- So you think we should team up.

- What?!

- Yeah.

See, you're clearly in no condition

to take out a bunch of Russian soldiers,

me and Jade are, 'cause we're bad asses.

You got that map on you. I think we should team up.

- Really? You were just about to kill him.

- No, he's obviously not KGB.

- Thank you!

- Sorry about, Jade.

She can be a little suspicious sometimes.

- You're kidding.

- All right.

(Jonathan groans)

I'm ready to go.

Let's keep moving.

- All right.

What?

(Jim chuckles)

- Nothing.

- What?

- Oh, nothing. Nothing.

(Jonathan groans) (body thuds)

- [Jade] Are you okay?

(Jonathan groans)

Are you okay?

- Yup! Just a little hard to breathe, but I'm fine.

I'm ready to go.

- You're in no shape to walk.

Good night's rest will do you some good.

- But my little girl, she's waiting for me.

- If she's in 1982, she's fine.

She doesn't even know.

- I guess you're right.

I mean, it is getting late, anyway.

Should we start a fire?

- Nah, the Russians will see it.

- But but we can make s'mores.

- Come on, let's find a place and hunker down.

(Jonathan groans)

(gentle music)

(liquid squirting)

(body squishing)

(helicopter whirring)

- Pardon me. Delano.

Delano, I don't have time for this.

- Do you know what this is?

- I'm sure you're going to tell me.

- It's cancer.

Throat cancer to be exact, caused by radiation,

which means we're getting close.

Wherever that temple is, it's here, on this island,

and it's leaking energy.

Leaking a tremendous amount of energy.

Most likely, it's highly unstable.

- Wasn't he fine just a week ago?

- Yeah.

He's dead now.

This radiation spreads more rapidly

than anything I've ever encountered.

You need to find that temple and you need to find it fast.

- What do you think I've been doing?

A third American has arrived.

Washington must know it's here as well.

- So all the more reason for you to hurry up and find it.

- Three Americans. Isn't that strange?

- Are you questioning my loyalty?

Because I wouldn't do that, if I was you.

German.

- You're quite the war hero.

The great Delano Davis, working for the Russians.

- That thing ain't gonna save you.

Most likely, we're already infected.

Go find my Geiger counter.

- Yes, sir!

- Damn, Nazi.

(Jim grunts) (Jonathan groans)

- [Jonathan] Easy.

(Jonathan groans)

What about over there?

- Yeah. (Jonathan groans)

- All right, I got it.

(Jonathan sighs) (Jim sighs)

(all panting)

So I told you my story.

Why are the two of you trying to reach the temple?

- No reason.

- No reason?

(Jonathan chuckles)

You're kidding me, right?

You had to travel around the world to an uncharted island,

20 miles off the coast of Africa,

to live in that ratty tent I found you in.

Nobody does that for no reason.

(Jim sighs)

- Don't.

Don't.

- You see that new movie, "Back to the Future,"

just came out?

- Yeah. - Yeah, you know the DeLorean,

the new car where doors go (mimics car doors hissing)?

You know what I'm saying?

- Yeah.

I said I saw the movie. - Thank you.

Well, instead of going back in time

and trying to bang his mom,

Marty McFly should've played the lotto.

I got every single lotto written down here

from the last five years.

Me and Jade are gonna go get rich.

(hand taps)

- Can I see those? (hand slaps)

- Hell no, you can't see them!

(Jonathan sighs)

- All right.

So tomorrow, bright and early, we head for the temple?

- Absolutely.

- Well, I'm taking it down.

(Jim grunting)

(Jim groans)

There's a rock there.

It's really comfortable, actually.

(Jim grunts)

Hold on.

Hold on.

Yeah, hold on a second.

(Jim groans)

There's a slant.

- You good?

- Yeah, I'm good, it's a little noisy, with you jabbering.

(Jim groans)

- Maybe we should give him

some space. - Yeah.

Come on. (Jonathan groans)

- You two should get some sleep.

Gonna be a bit of a hike tomorrow.

(majestic music)

(crickets chirping)

(Jonathan chuckles)

- Your brother is quite the character.

- Yeah.

He's right, though.

It's gonna be a bit of a hike if your map's right.

- It is.

- Tell you what, this should help us get some good sleep.

(cork pops)

- You've been holding out on me.

- Yup.

(Jade sighs)

I'm impressed.

- Yeah, growing up, my parents were both

basically functioning alcoholics.

Grew up with the stuff.

- Rum with the Cheerios, huh?

- Breakfast of champions.

- Me too.

Your turn.

- Mm. Okay.

- That's not how we play. You're not supposed to match me.

You're supposed to drink more than me.

(Jonathan sighs)

(Jonathan sighs)

- That's four. Now, you got to do five.

- There's not even five gulps in here.

I could finish it.

- Do it.

So, what are the two of you really doing out here?

- What do you mean?

- Please, not that the lotto idea is not a good one,

but that's not why you're really here.

- How do you know?

- I can tell.

You don't come all the way out here on a wing and a prayer,

searching for a temple

that locals myths says can take you back in time,

not unless you've lost everything.

- And you've lost everything?

- Yeah.

Oh, I am starting to feel that alcohol.

- Slow it down there, tiger.

(Jonathan sighs)

(Jonathan groans)

- I'm sorry.

I think I've just lost a lot of blood,

and I may or may not have a punctured lung.

I haven't eaten in the last two days,

and the alcohol has gotten me just a little woozy.

- Ouch.

- What?

- I just said slow it down.

Now, you're acting like the reason

you just hit on me is because you think you're dying.

I just meant maybe after another bottle.

- What, you have another bottle?

- Maybe.

- Maybe like yes or maybe like-

- Maybe like yes.

But be warned, if you try to hit on me again,

my brother might kill you.

We're out of rum, but have a little bit of whiskey.

- Whiskey, oh, now we're- - Shh, it's Jim's.

Don't wanna wake him up.

- You know, I realized you just totally avoided my question.

- What was the question again?

- What are the two of you really doing here?

- Ooh, backstory.

- Come on. I told you about Mr. Bear.

- Okay, fine.

I know what's in the temple. I know what it is.

- You do?

- It's not from here.

- You mean, like, from Earth?

- No, not like that.

Here.

(thrilling music)

It's a file on the temple.

- Where'd you get this?

- [Jade] I stole it.

- You stole it?

From where?

- [Jade] My dad.

- [Jonathan] Wait.

Your dad has a top secret file on the government?

- Shh.

I don't want Jungle Jim over there to know.

- [Jonathan] Why not?

- 'Cause our father was court-martialed

after it went missing.

Locked him up, threw away the key.

- Wait, you got your dad locked up,

and you had this the entire time?

- Well, it's not like he was the nicest guy in the world

or won Dad of the Year contests or anything like that.

Actually think it'll do him some good to have some me time.

But if this thing is real and we do go back in time,

he won't have ever served any jail time,

so no harm, no foul, right?

- I guess so.

- Trust me, my logic is sound.

- [Jonathan] Is it?

- Mm-hm.

What's that?

(Jade speaks in foreign language)

What's that mean?

- It means "Here be lions."

- Why do you have that tattooed on your wrist?

- It was on the map.

I got a bit drunk

and I had the guy copy it all down, so he did.

- Did you do all of those yourself?

- Yeah, I did.

They're not that bad, right? (Jade chuckles)

Yeah.

(Jade chuckles)

Bottoms up.

(mysterious music)

(footsteps treading)

- [Jim] Ahem.

(Jade sighs)

- What?

- You fornicate with the Russian spy?

- Stop.

- Did you fornicate with the Russian spy?

(Jade sighs)

- No.

- 'Cause that's the oldest trick in the book.

- [Jade] What is?

- It's called the honey trap, all right?

They seduce you.

They get all your secrets out of you

when you're at your most vulnerable.

- Don't be gross.

Not gonna have sex with you sleeping right there.

- I'm just saying, you don't see me banging

any Russian spies, do you? (engine rumbling)

Shit.

- What is it?

- [Jim] Come on, we gotta go!

(gun firing)

- What's he doing?! - We gotta go.

(gun firing)

(man speaks in foreign language)

(gun firing)

(man speaks in foreign language)

(gun firing)

- [Man] Go, go, go!

(man speaks in foreign language)

- [Jade] What did he say?

- I think he wants us to put our hands up.

(man speaks in foreign language)

- So you do speak Russian. Oh, my god, Jim was right.

(man speaks in foreign language)

- Honestly, I'm just guessing.

(gas masks hissing)

(dramatic music)

(helicopter whirring)

- We meet again.

I'm not sure about you,

but I'm extremely pleased by these circumstances.

Wait outside.

No one comes in, no one comes out,

unless it's myself or Delano.

- [Man] Affirmative.

- Who is your lovely new girlfriend?

I thought he had something very special, you and me.

You swoop into a girl's life,

and just as quickly, swoop out.

You left me so distraught, in such a mood,

that I killed my young assistant Hans.

You see, I was so heartbroken.

And now you simply show up again with another woman!

And you.

We've been keeping tabs on you

to make sure you didn't find the temple before we did it.

But as you can see, we found it quite fine on our own.

We didn't even need Mr. Danger to help us.

It is Mr. Danger, is it not?

(Jonathan mumbling)

I'm sorry, darling,

I can't understand you with that gag in your mouth.

(Jonathan spits)

- I said, what are you doing here?

- Me or the Soviets?

- The Soviets. But you're not KGB.

- No, we are part of the Soviet Space Program.

(Jonathan chuckles)

- You want me to believe you're all a bunch of cosmonauts?

- I think Winston Churchill best described us

as a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma,

which to my ears, sounds rather sexy, don't you agree?

- So what are you looking for?

- Don't take me for stupid!

We're looking for the same thing that you are looking for.

The same thing I assume you're looking for as well, my dear.

I honestly don't see what you see in her.

But you, Mr. Danger, with all of the tattoos...

(Jonathan grunts)

No need to flex those muscles for me.

(Ella growls)

It looks like playtime is over.

Delano is our main doctor here on the island.

- I take it he's gonna question us?

- Yes, that's right.

- Hello.

I assume you know where the temple is.

- You're American?

- Yes, I am.

- And why do you think I know where the temple is?

- 'Cause of the tattoo on your skin.

- So if you're American,

then why are you working for the Soviets?

- After the end of the Second World War,

the United States started recruiting Nazis

for their science division.

The same Nazis that I lost my leg,

and a bunch of my close friends, fighting,

and not just fighting,

killing.

There's a big difference.

We were sent over there to kill.

When you're sent off to kill, people get shot,

people get blown up,

people get changed.

(Delano chuckles)

(Delano groans)

It's made of titanium.

Same thing a space shuttle's made of.

- What happened?

- World War II.

I was only 16.

I was too young.

But I told them I was 18, ready and willing to fight.

And they loved the sound of that,

so they signed me up and shipped me out

just as quickly as they could.

You have any idea of what a medical tent,

on the front lines, over in Berlin, looks like?

I carried my commanding officer on my shoulders

three and a half miles to the nearest medical tent

with two bullets in me from a goddamn Nazi.

You know what they told me when I got there?

(Delano chuckles)

I put my commanding officer down on a cot.

They took one look at my leg, all shot to hell,

and they said, "We're gonna have to amputate,"

and took out the bone saws.

No painkillers, no gauze,

just the bone saws and a bloody mess.

That leg twitched for nearly two minutes

when they took it off.

- You're lying.

- After the war, I went home.

Both of my brothers were dead,

my girl married my best friend,

and I was missing a leg.

(Delano chuckles)

Your government, you know what they did?

They put those goddamn Nazis to work.

Can you believe that shit?

- So, you went to go work for the Russians?

- I'll admit I was a easy recruit.

I mean, they paid for all my schooling,

they put me in the Experimental Design Bureau, and...

Where are my manners?

I've been talking like this is all about me.

It's actually all about you.

Let's get started.

Ella, would you be so kind as to set us some mood music?

- You know what I love most about Americans?

American music, rock and roll.

Would you like to listen to a record with us?

- You know, they're not called a records anymore?

They're called tapes now.

(button clicks)

(upbeat music)

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Come on over, baby ♪

♪ You're looking so good ♪

- I like it.

♪ Let me tell you what she's got ♪

Now, tell us what I know about the temple.

- Nein.

- Who told you it was here?

- Nein.

- I tried. You may begin.

♪ Come on, now ♪

- One of the things I learned very early

in the USSR is to be efficient.

(hand thuds)

They pride themselves on that shit.

- Hey, careful there, Doc.

- What is the American saying?

"This little piggy went to the market."

Tell me what you know about the temple.

- I don't know anything.

(knife rasps) (Jonathan groans)

(Jade groans)

(Jonathan hyperventilating)

(Jonathan groaning)

You're gonna need some gauze for that, stat.

(Jonathan groaning)

(button clicks)

- I won't ask again.

Who told you it was here?! Who else knows?!

- You know, I'm gonna need a second.

I'm a little lightheaded after that.

- We have plenty of time.

Delano specializes in vivisection. That's Latin.

Judging from some of your tattoos,

you have an interest in Latin.

Vivi comes from the Latin word vivus, which means alive.

And section comes from the Latin word section or cutting.

(Jonathan chuckles)

- That's fantastic.

You know, it is really good for a guy to have a hobby.

(Jonathan hyperventilating)

- "This little piggy stayed home."

(knife rasps) (Jonathan groans)

(Jonathan hyperventilating)

(Jonathan laughs)

You know, that hurts. I'll admit it, that hurts a lot.

- Do we really need to discuss

the little piggy that had a roast beef?

- The CIA knows.

- And what was your exit strategy?

- Can't tell you, otherwise I'd have to kill you.

- You know, you're not going to make it out of this alive.

You know that, don't you?

(Jade panting)

- Yeah, I get that.

But I figure you won't kill me because you need the code.

- What code?

- To turn it on.

You can't just walk in there after all these years

and expect it to work.

You need to know how to turn it on.

You give me what I want, it's all yours.

- So what do you want?

And please, choose your next sentence very carefully.

- I wanna go back to 1982.

You give me that, it's all yours.

- And why wouldn't be just torture you

until you give us the code?

- You just chopped off two of my fingers,

and I'm still willing to negotiate.

- And what if your code doesn't work?

- Then you can let Delano play doctor on us all he wants.

- Mm-mm! Mm-mm.

Mm-mm, mm-mm.

- I think we could cut another finger.

- You've never wanted something as badly

as I want this, not even close.

(gentle music)

(fire roaring)

(suspenseful music)

- You have yourself a deal, Mr. Danger,

but you make one wrong move, and I won't just kill you,

I'll also kill your girlfriend.

Make no mistake about that. I will not hesitate.

- Deal.

- And I won't just kill you,

I'll Delano play with you some more.

- I figured. I mean, I figured.

(engine rumbling)

(gas masks hissing)

(dramatic music)

Well, we're here.

(door whirring) (gears clacking)

(Jonathan grunts)

(Jonathan sighs)

(gas masks hissing)

It's real.

It's really here.

- Feel like we're stepping onto the set

of "Alien" right now.

- What is this place?

- It's a ship, an expedition that went backwards in time,

not from our time, the future.

- Very Marty McFly.

- How'd it get in the mountain like this?

- The team didn't account for the rotation of the Earth,

or their math is off.

Whatever it was, they wound up inside of a mountain.

- How long you think it's been here?

- Probably hundreds of years.

The locals that used to live here, the natives,

they worshiped this for centuries.

Their myths, their legends,

all arising out of this holy mountain.

Imagine what it must've been like for them.

One day, a flash appears, cutting through the cliffs,

avalanches and earthquakes,

and then when you signed up

your bravest soldiers to investigate,

they find something so unimaginable

that only a supernatural explanation

could possibly make sense of it all.

And then there was the screaming.

- The screaming?

- They say they used to hear screaming

from inside the mountain.

- And so what do you think happened

to all the natives, then?

- Radiation probably wiped them all out.

This thing is leaking.

We've been here for months, and in the past few days,

several of our men have gotten very sick.

Rapid-onset cancer's wiping everybody out.

- So why are you here?

- We all know the Soviet Union is going to fail.

The economy can't keep up, Regan is playing dirty.

Our mission is to go back in time and stop it from failing.

- That doesn't answer why you are here, Ella.

You're not Russian.

- You're too smart for your own good.

I'm here to go back in time

and make sure the Soviets lose World War II,

that they never take Berlin, never split my city in half,

never drop the Iron Curtain.

- Wait. That's not the mission.

- Sounds good to me.

- Would you try to stop me?

- I just wanna get back to 1982.

- I'll stop you.

- Turn it on, now!

(Jonathan blows)

- Hey, do you guys really think this is from 1999?

- Just do it! Enter the code.

- All right.

(dial clicking) (buttons clicking)

(buttons clicking)

(dial clicking)

(buttons clicking)

- Are you playing?

- No.

Just a little lightheaded is all.

(buttons clicking)

(machine humming)

(air hisses)

(machine whirring)

(machine rattling)

(machine humming)

(alarm blaring)

(air hisses)

- Sounds like we're about to take off.

- Lead the way. - Ella.

You can't be serious.

(man speaks in foreign language)

(doors creaking)

(flashlight clicks)

(suspenseful music)

(static buzzing)

(machine whirring) (static crackling)

(static crackling) (radio chattering)

- What is it?

- [Jonathan] Shh.

- What is it?

- Be quiet!

- [Ella] What is it?

- [Jonathan] Shh.

- If you're stalling, I'm going to kill the girl first.

(Jim shouts in foreign language)

- Bitch! (gun fires)

Danger Jim is here to save the day!

(gun firing) (men groaning)

- Ah, shit.

- Woo! (gun fires)

Who's left?!

Woo! Danger Jim!

Yes!

You guys all right? - Go, go!

- [Jim] I'm going.

- [Jonathan] Come on!

(Delano coughing)

- This is what I get for following a Nazi!

God!

I'll be okay. I'll be okay.

(sparks crackling)

(alarm blaring)

- What are you doing here?

- Saving your lives?

- Did you call yourself Danger Jim back there?

- Oh, yeah. You like that?

It's my new name.

- No, no, no, no, you can't have it. Danger's my name.

- Oh, okay, like that was a real name. Okay?

Don't worry, you can be Jungle Johnny.

- [Jonathan] I don't wanna be Jungle Johnny.

- I'm Danger now. - No.

- Yes. - I'm Danger.

- I'm Danger. - I'm Danger.

- There's nothing dangerous about you.

- We don't have time for this!

(gun fires)

- I missed one.

(Jim groaning)

(punches thudding) (Jim groaning)

(Jim grunts)

(man groans)

(punches thudding) (man groaning)

(Jim groaning)

(man screaming)

Shoot! - Stop moving!

(man screams)

Come on, hold still!

(man screaming)

- Shoot!

(gun fires)

(Jim groans)

- You missed two.

(gentle music)

(door whirring) (gears clacking)

(air hisses) (alarm blaring)

(flashlight clicks)

(suspenseful music)

(machine buzzing)

(lights buzzing)

(gears clanking)

- That does not sound good.

(gears clanking)

Are you hearing that?

(gentle music)

- [Violet] Daddy, I love you.

(fire roaring)

Daddy!

- [Ella] Jonathan.

(dramatic music)

- [Jonathan] Ella.

- [Ella] We really must stop meeting like this.

Is this our time capsule?

- It is.

- [Ella] And is this our hide and shootout?

- Looks like it.

(suspenseful music)

(gun fires)

(Ella groans)

- I should've had Delano start with the trigger fingers.

- I guess so.

- It's been a pleasure, Mr. Danger.

The adventure is just beginning.

- [Jade] 1982, right?

- 1982.

(door hisses)

(door creaks)

(lever clicking)

(button clicks) (machine humming)

(dial clicking)

(door whirs)

What are you doing?

- Coming with you.

- Jade.

Mm.

(door whirs)

Sorry I'm late.

- Yeah.

(Jonathan sighs)

What are you doing?

- Mega Millions, here we come. Holy shit!

What happened to your fingers?

- Jim, where have you been?!

- Where have I been? - Yeah.

- Oh, I've just been killing Russians, saving your life.

I don't know, getting my ass kicked by that guy.

Did you see that? (machine buzzing)

(energy whooshes)

(gentle music)

(gears clanking)

(air hisses)

(Ella panting)

(lever clicking)

(button clicks) (machine humming)

(dial clicking)

(dial clicking)

(door whirs)

(gears clanking) (machine buzzing)

(adventurous music)

(Jim groaning)

(door whirring)

(tape screeching)

(Jonathan gasps)

(Jonathan panting)

(Jonathan groans)

(Jonathan panting)

(Jonathan groans)

(Jonathan panting)

(static crackles)

(upbeat music)

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Come on over, baby ♪

♪ You're looking so good ♪

♪ She's hot ♪

♪ Let me tell you what she's got ♪

♪ Ooh, so hot ♪

♪ I think I'm gonna blow my tire ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ So hey, little sugar, don't stop pouring fuel on my fire ♪

♪ I'm on fire ♪

♪ Come on, now ♪

♪ Ooh, light my fire, baby ♪

♪ I've got a strong desire ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ Uh, she's hot ♪

♪ Gonna make my cradle rock ♪

♪ Ooh, so hot ♪

♪ Think I'm gonna blow my tire ♪

♪ Come on, now ♪

♪ Put your hands together ♪

♪ Ooh, baby, yeah ♪

♪ She's hot ♪

♪ Gonna make my cradle rock ♪

♪ Ooh, she's hot ♪

♪ So hot ♪

(thrilling music)

(mysterious music)

(adventurous music)

(thrilling music)

(dramatic music)

(thrilling music)