Original subtitles

♪ ♪

LINDA: Morning, Bob. Here's your coffee.

Two sugars, just how you like it.

Oh, I don't really take sugar, but... (gags)

- April Fool's, it's salt! Ha! - Yeah.

Uh, I guess I'll rinse this out

- and get normal coffee. - He loved it.

- Ah! - And the salt is sugar.

April Fool's. Sugar eggs.

Actually, this could work.

Sorry, there's some other way to eat eggs?

- (shouts) - TINA: April Fool's.

I put a rubber band on the sprayer trigger.

- Spray it ain't so, am I right? - Yup.

(coughs)

Whoa, does this phlegm look normal to you?

- (shouts) - Eh, I'll just get it back in there.

Ah!

April Fool's, it's jelly mixed with ketchup.

Perfect fake bloody phlegm combo.

- Look at my family of merry pranksters. - BOB: Mmm.

Oh, uh, Mother, aren't you going to

have a sip of that orange juice I brought you?

- Yeah, sure, why not? - Uh, I put mac 'n' cheese powder

in there. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Aw, Gene, honey, it's not really a prank

if you tell me about it beforehand.

(groans) I like April Fool's pranks,

just not the part where someone is confused or uncomfortable.

Yeah, that's the prank part of the prank?

And it's just fun. We prank 'cause we love.

Ah! I don't get this holiday!

I'm with Gene. April Fool's Day

isn't really a holiday, it's more of just a dumb day.

- LOUISE: How dare you. - TINA: Whoa.

Bob, you're such an April Scrooge.

Sorry. Maybe it's because Mr. Fischoeder

has pranked me every April Fool's for years

and it's kind of horrible.

We prank you every year, too, Dad.

Yeah, but he's got a lot more money than you guys.

Also, he might be the devil.

April Fool's. April Fool's.

♪ April Fool's. ♪

April Fool's. April Fool's.

April Fool's.

I know, what's Mr. Fischoeder

gonna cook up this year?

I can't wait. It's like Christmas in April.

Well, you know who's not a fool? Jimmy Jr.

He has a buy-one-get-one-free coupon

and he invited me to get frozen yogurt later.

Wait, he asked you out for today?

April Fool's Day. First of April.

Uno de Foolio.

Yeah, so what?

It's just that... No, I won't... I won't say it.

- What? What? - It's just that

my prank-dar is pinging.

An April Fool's date? It's... It's risky.

Oh, stop it, Louise. My prank-dar's got nothing.

Wait. Oh, no, that's gas.

We should get downstairs,

assuming all the fun breakfast pranks are over.

Uh, I think that's everything.

After-breakfast mint?

Is that a piece of chalk?

- Mint? - Mmm.

Okay, looks normal...

Which isn't normal.

Huh, yeah. Aw.

Well, don't sound disappointed.

I'm not, I'm not. Aw.

But how could Jimmy Jr. prank me

just by having frozen yogurt with me?

Only about a thousand different ways.

Uh, you show up thinking you're the "get one free,"

turns out, you're the "buy one." April Fool's.

- Monster. - Or he gives you a spoon with a hole in it.

Oh, look, now you've got a banana mango chin beard.

Ooh, I want that.

Yay, you're open.

Hi, Teddy, you're here early.

Well, it's a major holiday, right?

I'm pretty excited.

April Fool's. I sat on the wrong stool.

- Oh, I had you, Bob. - Yup.

- I had you. (laughs) - Yup, you did.

Should've seen the look on your face. (laughs)

April stool, I love it.

You know, that other stool is way more comfortable.

This one's all flattened down

- for some reason. - (bumper car horn honks)

Mm. Okay, here we go.

- I am preparing to be wowed. - (entry bells jingle)

Hello, Bob. Lady Bob, Lesser Bobs. Freddy.

Hey, Mr. Fisch.

You seem tense, Bob.

Do you have an impacted colon?

No, just waiting for the prank.

There could be some colon stuff, too.

I could just be here for the rent, you know?

It is the first of the month.

Oh, that would be great.

- Do you have it? - LINDA and BOB: No.

But we'll get it. Probably.

Bob, there's a bear in your kitchen.

You put a bear in my kitchen?

Ow. What the...

April Fool's.

Standing "O."

For the record, I also would have taken a bear.

Wow. Bob, you see how realistic it looks?

Yeah, I-I saw it, Lin.

It's trompe l'oeil.

That's French for "Hee-hee-hee, gotcha Bob."

I commissioned it from a starving boardwalk artist

and, uh, Freddy, here, used

my landlord key to install it before dawn.

I'm so sorry, Bob.

He made me do it. By paying me money.

Forgive me. Why aren't you forgiving me?

- Teddy, uh, it's fine. - Oh, good.

Mr. Fischoeder, I'll be over

soon to finish painting your mansion.

Yes, Freddy, about that,

is all the unsightly scaffolding necessary?

Uh, well, it's kind of how I reach the higher floors.

Couldn't you just sort of catapult yourself up

and paint, paint, paint before you crash to the ground?

- Uh, I could try. - Good man.

Well, uh, I guess that's it,

so... see you next year?

Bob, we need to talk.

In our pranking relationship,

I feel that I do all the work.

You've never pranked me back once.

Except for the bounced rent checks.

- Heh, heh. You don't like those? - They're okay, not great.

Bob, I feel a little taken for granted.

- It's not working. Us. - Us?

I wish I didn't even have to say this, but here goes.

Bob, this year, will you prank me?

- TINA: Aw. - I-I'm sorry?

Prank me. Amuse and enchant me,

as I do for you every year.

Mr. Fischoeder, I-I'm flattered,

but you're a millionaire

with a lot of time on your hands.

Possibly too much.

And I'm not. I have a restaurant to run.

- You do? That's exciting. - Yay, Dad.

Where? Oh, this place.

Anyway, uh, no, thank you?

Well, I guess you can't force these things, right?

But it's still early. Maybe you'll change your mind.

(laughing wildly)

Oh, what a merry... scary laugh.

Aren't you being a little bit of a pranky pooper, Bob?

No, pranking our landlord is a terrible idea.

I'm not gonna do it, and no one can make me.

That's how I handle my math homework.

And it works. Mostly. We'll talk later.

Oh, my God, he's back.

Right now it's sort of a quasi-hamburger stand,

but picture it without the greasy, uh...

people.

What-What's going on?

I'm getting out there, Bob.

Meeting prospective new tenants.

- For here? - Mm-hmm.

And you met him in the last 15 minutes?

It all happens online these days.

I like this one. Younger, lots of energy.

- Super pranky. - Oh, my God.

So what kind of store you opening?

Uh, a chain store?

Every kind of... chain. Key, bicycle, neck.

You just saved me two stops.

Actually, the store next door is vacant.

Oh, that space is nothing compared to this.

Oh, yeah, much better light here.

And just a better flow in general.

Thanks, guys.

I am definitely interested.

Good, I should know by the end of the day

if the space is available.

End of the day.

Is Mr. Fischoeder really gonna kick us out

for another tenant if we don't prank him?

He'd be crazy not to.

All those amazing chains.

I honestly am not sure how serious he is,

so I guess we're pranking our landlord.

- (cheering) - I pity the April fool.

How about this for a prank?

Creep up behind him and slowly move

Mr. Fischoeder's eyepatch

- until it covers his good eye. - Uh...

Ooh, give him a fake scar while he's sleeping

and tell him you stole his pancreas.

He's probably got a great

- rich guy pancreas, I bet. - No.

Ask Jimmy Jr. how he's gonna prank Tina

on their frozen yogurt date

- and just do that? - Wait, what?

Move all the clocks in his house

ahead by one minute so he'll be one minute early for everything.

Aw, Gene, sweetie, that's still not quite a prank.

- It's really helpful, actually. - Darn it.

I just want something simple.

Like, what if I send him a pizza with weird toppings?

Weird toppings? That's your prank?

Yeah, things that don't go together.

Like shrimp with hot dogs?

- Go on. - Yeah, that's making me hungry.

Should we eat one first and decide?

Can we throw some pineapple on there?

Stop wanting to eat the prank pizza.

- (telephone rings) - Everybody's overthinking it.

Bob's Burgers.

Bob, about the prank.

I hope you aren't underthinking it

and planning something super wimpy.

Go big. I want to feel something.

Otherwise, it doesn't count. Bye.

You, down there, catch this knife.

- (child screaming) - Kidding. Kidding, kidding.

It's April Fool's. Sheesh.

(groans) He wants to feel something.

Okay, Dad, to do this right, you got to go deep.

Talk to people, dig through some garbage,

find out what makes Mr. Fischoeder tick.

What does he care about most?

Find that and you'll know how to prank him.

(sighs) Fine, but I am not looking through garbage.

And I'm looking through garbage.

I'm sorry, but how else are we gonna find

Mr. Fischoeder's dark, dirty secrets

without going through his dark, dirty trash?

I just want this to be over.

What are you so excited to get back to?

Ooh, Felix. Let's talk to Felix.

- Oh, uh, no? - Yes.

He knows things about his brother,

and I'm sure he'll be happy to help us.

I'm not helping you.

Especially with prank stuff. Go away.

- BOB: But... - I'm going upstairs now and you can't follow

'cause you're too uncoordinated to go up a spiral staircase.

What? No, I can. I think.

Don't you just keep turning?

- Come on, we need the info. - Okay, fine.

Ugh, you followed me?

Well, do not criticize my form. (moaning)

Felix, please just tell us what Mr. Fischoeder cares about,

so we can prank him.

All we're asking is for you

to violate your brother's trust

and tell us his deepest most intimate secrets.

(moans) What about me?

Maybe I'd like to be pranked

by my brother sometime. (moans)

But he only has time for Bob, Bob, Bob. (moans)

Wait, what's that photo?

Oh, that's just Calvin and my father

on Dad's precious golf cart.

They would patrol Wonder Wharf in it,

throwing firecrackers at carnies who were slacking.

- You know, father-son stuff. - Mm.

I wasn't allowed to ride in it

because I had what at the time

was called sneaky bladder.

Why do you have this photo?

No reason. I don't pee on it for revenge sometimes.

Okay. Is this the golf cart Mr. Fischoeder still uses?

My father passed it on to him. Along with a lot of money.

And property. And everything. It's fine.

That's it, we prank his golf cart.

That's what he cares about.

I told you I'm not helping you prank.

Now, excuse me, I have to pee.

(slow squeaking)

BOB: Yes, there he is.

Mr. Fischoeder gets his hair cut

while he's on his rent-collecting route,

so we got an hour for the prank.

I still don't understand why

it takes that long for a haircut.

He has it cut one hair at a time.

I guess he thinks that makes it fancier.

How do you know this?

Mr. Fischoeder talks about it. A lot.

Hey, you should get your one hair cut that way.

I'm calling Teddy to tell him we're a go.

How much longer?

Rewiring an old golf cart horn

to play a fart sound is not a job you can rush, Bob.

We got different voltages, a lot of weird-colored wires.

I don't want to get philosophical on you,

but it's like a beautiful chaos under here.

- As fast as you can. - I love novelty horns.

My truck horn used to play the song Tequila.

Great tune. Got pulled over for a lot

of sobriety checks, but it was worth it.

Okay, we're ready to connect the horn button

to our fart device.

- Gene? - So, what're we in the mood for?

- There's flirty. - (light fart noise)

- Shy. - (high-pitched fart noise)

- Brooding. - (low fart noise)

- Whimsical. - (sputtering fart noise)

Doesn't matter.

Just give it to Teddy, please.

I guess someone doesn't care about artistry.

Okay, so I left a message

for Mr. Fischoeder to come by for the rent.

- We have the rent? - No, of course not.

But he'll come from that way

where the barbershop is,

and he'll honk his annoying horn

like he always does,

and a big fart will come out instead.

Farty gave a party and Mr. Fischoeder came.

I'm starting to get April Fool's Day.

This is kind of fun.

Look at you,

"Prankie Goes to Hollywood."

Maybe I'll do more pranks after this.

Everything could be a prank.

Not everything.

Sometimes it's just a romantic and economical trip

to a frozen yogurt place, right?

Yeah. I mean, no way

is Jimmy Jr. trying to get you there

so he can sneak back and rob your room.

Right, I agree.

Or get you to eat so fast

that you get brain freeze and make that weird sound.

- No! - No, it's more of a... (groans)

- What the hell, Louise? - Yeah, knock it off, honey.

These are the things I hope don't happen.

Like, instead of Jimmy Jr.,

it's Andy on Ollie's shoulders in a trench coat.

- Ah! - Oh, he's coming.

- (fart device sounding) - What in the...

- Ha! April Fool... - No brakes! No brakes!

Whoa, what-what's happening?

I think he said "no brakes, no brakes." Oh.

- (Fischoeder grunts) - Oh, my God.

Is my megaphone okay?

Is what Tina was wondering.

Tina, now's not the time.

LINDA: So, not a great prank, Bob.

I don't know what happened.

This is why I didn't want to prank our landlord.

Do you think Mr. Fischoeder is all right?

- Bob tried to kill me. - What?

You all saw it. Bob cut my brake line.

No. It was an accident.

He-He wanted me to prank him.

W-We didn't cut his brake line, it was a fart horn thing.

I think Bob used April Fool's as a cover for murder.

Maybe because he's resentful of being

the ridiculous butt of my genius pranks.

He does have a ridiculous butt.

You know, I-I think you went a little too far here, Bob.

Me? Y-You disconnected something.

He did it. This guy did it.

Novelty horn wiring isn't an exact science.

And you kept distracting me when I was trying to work, as you do.

Murderer. You're blackballed at Reflections.

Your glitter account is closed, Tyra Pranks.

We have a glitter account?

Uh, yeah.

We use a lot of glitter, Bob.

- I don't know what to tell you. - Oh, my.

Oh, uh, hi, Mr. Dowling.

This isn't what it looks like.

It is what it looks like.

Bob tried to murder Mr. Fischoeder.

I wouldn't bank with Bob if I were you.

And I sure as heck wouldn't let him work on your car.

We already have so many reasons not to bank with Bob.

- I'll throw it on the list. - I don't like that list.

Bob, I'm gonna take the kids inside.

I'm not saying this is an angry mob

that might attack you, but if it is,

I don't want the kids to see it.

Mom'll come back out with a broken bottle

- if you need her, though. - (Bob sighs)

- I'm so sorry, Mr. Fischoeder. - Shh.

I'm listening to his heart with this thing.

- Your stethoscope? - Are you a doctor?

Yep. His heart sounds weird.

All right, let's put him in the cargo area.

Cargo area? Wait, I know you.

Aren't you the tenant

Mr. Fischoeder brought over this morning?

No. 'Cause I'm this.

You had that dumb chain store idea.

- You're dumb. - Wait--

We're driving off fast now. Bye.

What's going on?

I swear, it was the same guy.

And definitely not a great paramedic.

Bob, a lot of people look like other people.

Like Jessie Eisenberg and that other guy.

Wait. They're different people?

And you do call me Gene sometimes. A lot.

Parents do that, Tina.

And you pretty much always pick up the wrong remote

and keep jabbing it at the TV when it doesn't work.

It's rough to watch.

It's why I almost stopped coming to movie night.

They look a lot alike.

Dad, maybe you're a little out of sorts

because you almost on purpose killed someone.

Kids, Mr. Fischoeder's gonna be fine. Probably.

Oh, by the way, Bob, Joel called.

He can't deliver our buns today.

- Um, that's kind of a problem. - And then our meat guy called,

and he can't deliver, either.

So problem solved.

They probably both got sick or kidnapped or something

on the same day; it happens.

But what if word has gotten out,

- and we're blackballed? - No.

Bob, you're upset. It's been a crazy day.

Why don't you take the garbage out and get some air?

- Some back-alley air. - Fine.

Hey, maybe the police will look through our trash later,

- like we looked through Mr. Fischoeder's. - Mm.

What the hell?

(panting)

Oh-- Oh, God. Oh, my God...

- Aah! - Aha.

This is Mr. Fischoeder's golf cart.

- But I saw it get wrecked. - Um...

No, I didn't.

That was a decoy golf cart, wasn't it?

Uh, I go now, bye. Kisses.

Bup-bup-bup-bup. After we left the treehouse,

you told Calvin I was going to prank him with the cart.

So he was one step ahead of me.

- No, dum-dum. He told me. - What?

I said, "Do you like the Bee Gees?"

Wait. When I saw the photo,

all your weird lunges were pointing right at it.

- Not weird, athletic. - You wanted me to notice

- the golf cart picture. - Ugh.

Yes, Bob. And it took so many lunges.

Calvin planned everything. He even wore a padded suit

for the "accident."

The brakes were fine. He faked the whole thing.

None of it was real. The paramedic-tenant guy...

- A carny in a costume. - Oh, my God.

Am I still being pranked?

All I know is Calvin is gonna come by tonight

in a full body cast

and burst out of it and say April Fool's.

Act surprised. He's also rented 50 doves

to fly out of the cast when it breaks open.

Wait. Is you telling me this also part of the prank?

Probably. Let's say yes.

Oh, I hate April Fool's Day.

Now, excuse me, I'm off to buy dove food.

I'm guessing tacos? Or Dove Bars?

(Tina sighs)

I just wanted a simple frozen yogurt date.

With some light handholding, or heavy,

depending on how sticky our hands were.

I know, but the safest move now is simply not to show up.

- You're saying... - Fro-yo no-show.

- But am I being paranoid? - (entry bells jingle)

- He's after me. - You mean like hmm-hmm?

You okay, Bob? You seem great, just checking.

I found out that Mr. Fischoeder is still messing with me.

The prank I thought I was pranking him with

was really him pranking me with my own prank.

The whole time. You see?

I see that you see something.

We all love you, Bob.

I don't even know how many people are in on it.

The paramedic? Edith? Mr. Dowling?

Our meat and bun people?

Okay, still not really sure

what you're talking about, but probably not that many people

- are in on it, right? - (phone rings)

Bob's Burgers. I can't talk now. Bye.

That was Fischoeder, wasn't it? You can't talk because I'm here.

- You're in on it, Lin. - It was a telemarketer.

You're a liar-marketer.

- Bobby, no. - Or what about Teddy?

Ready to pitch in 'cause you happened to have

a novelty car horn in the '90s?

Most people did back then, Bob. Rush hour was a lot of fun.

Or maybe Louise, who led me straight to Felix.

Wait, am I in on it? I kind of want to be in on it.

Or Tina, with your water spraying.

- You look nice, but you're not. - Damn.

Gene. Dear, sweet, innocent Gene.

So pure, so simple. I know you're not in on it.

- You couldn't be. - Simple?

You know what? I'm gonna go see Mr. Fischoeder

and demand my life back.

Why not ask for a better one instead?

And I'm taking Gene. He's the only one I can trust.

- I'm flattered and terrified. - TINA: Flatterfied?

Can I go to the bathroom before we leave?

No. Maybe. What kind?

Ah, I don't want to put a label on it.

I have to go, too. Can I go first?

You definitely should.

I hear them. They're up there.

You ready to do this?

No. Are you?

I think so. I mean, we've come this far.

We haven't gone up the ladder yet.

I did it earlier.

- It's... really hard. - Should we give up?

No. Let's start climbing,

- but we'll-we'll take breaks. - I love breaks.

Bit more cocoa in your rum, Calvin?

Oh, I shouldn't. I still have to fit inside my body cast.

- And leave room for 50 doves. - Well, well,

isn't this cozy?

- And cocoa-y. - Bob.

Uh, close your eyes and imagine I'm in a cast.

No, no, no. The jig is up.

I want the pranking to stop.

And I'm not leaving until you promise me we're done.

Or until we get some cocoa, at the very least.

Bob, calm down. The pranking is done now.

You've ruined the last bit.

Also, I don't know why you're mad. I'm the one

who's out all the dove money.

Why, Mr. Fischoeder?

Why did you put me through this?

I-I did what you wanted.

I pranked you. I mean, I tried.

Yes, but did you, Bob?

Did you really try?

First I had to beg you.

Then I had to threaten you.

I manipulated you, and all I was going to get

for my trouble was a fart horn.

- Hey. - LINDA: Bob, you up here?

- Linda? - We were worried,

so we decided to follow you.

We saw you and Gene climbing up here.

- Not at all awkwardly. - Lot of breaks.

Come on, let's go home

before you do or say anything to our very nice-ish landlord

- that you'll regret. - Yes, Bob, go home and rest up

- for next April Fool's. - It's never going to stop, is it?

I don't see why it would.

The question you should be asking is how will

I keep topping myself?

Unrelated: how many cubic feet of Jell-O

would 10,000 boxes make?

We owe it to ourselves to find out.

No. No...

Or, different direction. I wonder what

the restaurant actually weighs

if one were to rent a really big crane.

With us in it or not?

Oh, why isn't it next year already?

Stop... talking... about... pranks!

Easy, Bob.

What? No-- No. (screams)

(all cry out)

Ah! My dear Bob.

Gotcha.

April Fool's, Mr. Fischoeder.

- The unsightly scaffolding. - It held.

- Which was not a guarantee. - How'd you do it?

Well, an hour ago,

I was about to come here and yell at you.

But I cooled down, and then it came to me.

The thing you care about most on April Fool's

- seems to be me. - Brag.

So, I should make myself the prank.

- You've got a lot to work with. - Thank you.

First I asked Teddy to move his scaffolding

from the main house to here.

I got lucky because you were

playing with your doves in the aviary.

So to speak.

Then I called Felix and asked him

for a second time to help prank you,

and this time he said yes.

I suggested murder you, as a joke,

but Bob said it was too big.

His job was to lure you over here with cocktails.

It was going to be cocktails and belly dancing,

but I couldn't find my finger bells.

Linda's job was to bring

the girls and act sad when I died.

I didn't know it was gonna look so scary; a little pee came out.

And I told Dad exactly how to scream.

His natural scream is much higher.

And Gene knew everything and never gave it away.

It was hard not to shout it out,

but I just concentrated on the cocoa.

Which I still haven't received, by the way.

Gene, your first April Fool's prank.

Well done, Bob. I felt something.

Aw, see? We prank 'cause we love.

Next year, you and me. Same time, different pranks?

You know, we could just have a beer sometime.

Uh, I don't think so.

Uh, Bob, now that I see it

from this angle, the scaffolding might be

missing a few bolts.

- What? - You want to hop back up on the balcony here?

- Okay. (cries out) - (all gasp)

- Uh, April Fool's? - Oh, my God.

Ah, I love this day.

- I'd like to go home. - Yeah.

Goodbye, burgermongers.

Don't touch anything on the way out.

Hey, we need to drop Tina off for her frozen yogurt date.

Wait, what about all the stuff you said?

I was kinda April foolin' with you.

I mean, what's the worst that can happen?

It can't be as bad as Dad's day.

Huh. I guess not.

And like Mom said, sometimes

you prank the people you like the most.

Seriously? It's April Fool's Day?

I thought that wasn't until May.

No, it's today. April first.

Oh, is that why you were so late, Tina?

- Were you pranking me? - Yes?

- April Fool's? - Oh, man, you got me.

♪ You are the one I love to prank ♪

- ♪ You've got the chain I yearn to yank ♪ - (grunting)

♪ I don't really get it, but I can't forget it ♪

- ♪ You are my April Fool ♪ - (sneezes)

(whistling)

♪ Pencil me in for April one ♪

♪ I'll make your day come all undone ♪

♪ It brings me such joy when you're one baffled boy ♪

♪ You are my April fool ♪

♪ You are my April fool. ♪

Captioning sponsored by BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT

and TOYOTA.

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0