All language subtitles for All.American.S05E13.720p.WEB.x265-MiNX

Olivia, voice-over: The bond
between a father and a daughter...

There's absolutely
nothing like it.

I always used to say my
mom gave me my drive but

my dad gave me my dreams.

As little girls, we
dream of all the big

life moments we're gonna
share with our dads...

First day of school, first bike
ride with our training wheels,

first dance, pre-k graduation,

middle school graduation,
just all the graduations.

And, of course, our weddings.

My gown is going to be pure
white with tons of lace

and a train stretching on

for miles and miles,
just like my mom's.

Ok, but who's going to
help you carry that train?

You, of course.

For my wedding,
I'm going to have

a simple but
elegant pant suit.

You can't wear a pant suit
for your wedding, Olivia.

Of course I can. My dad says

I can do whatever I want,
'cause I'm a change-maker.

He says one day I'm gonna
change the whole world.

With a pant suit?

All I know is daddy's

always right.

Olivia, voice-over:
Problem is, while we're

dreaming these big dreams
of life with our hero,

no one ever warns us
that those same dreams

could be cut short.

That we could just
wake up one day

and... our dad's just...

Gone.

Hey.

Hey. You ok?

I just... I'm sorry. I just
really need you to get up.

Liv, it's the middle of
the night. What's wrong?

I'm not gonna make
it through the night

without taking a drink.

I just... I need
both of you, please.

Hey, hey. Come here.

Come here, come
here, come here.

♪ oh ♪

♪ oh-oh ♪

♪ still struggling
to see the signs ♪

♪ too heavy for a
heart like mine ♪

♪ save me, save me ♪

♪ ooh, oh, ooh ♪

♪ oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ keep my heritage
to keep me clean ♪

♪ keep the devil
watching over me ♪

♪ save me, save me ♪

♪ ooh, ooh... ♪

Thank you.

I'm glad you have each other.

♪ ooh, ooh ♪

♪ ooh, ooh ♪

Ok.

Hey. I didn't
hear you come in.

I didn't wanna wake
you, and ash let me in.

Oh.

Whatcha got here?

These are my famous hot cakes.

Well, thank you, but
I can't eat all that

before a workout.

Uh, well, my mama always said

food is medicine for the soul.

I appreciate you
and your mama,

but I gotta get to the gym.

Spence, why the rush?

I know coach
baker's funeral was

only a couple days ago.

I don't think anyone's

expecting you to rush
back to anything.

I was thinking we could talk.

I know how hard
it must have been

for you losing coach baker.

It's the cycle of life, right?

What happened to
coach ain't something

none of us can change.

Look, I really gotta
get this workout in,

so maybe later, you and I can

tear into that
stack of hot cakes.

All right.

Do I call my mom? Do...
Do we keep her with us all day?

You know what? Screw it.

I'm just gonna
call her sponsor

and if Liv gets mad,
she can get mad, ok?

Layla. Hi.

Hi.
It's good to see you. Heh!

Yeah. Jordan?

You both look like
you've seen a ghost.

Um, no, sorry,
it's just we were

literally about to call you.

Yeah, uh, how did you
know to come here?

I called her.

I called everyone, actually.

If I'm gonna get through today

and not drink, i'm...

I'm gonna need my village.

Atta girl.

These past
couple weeks have been

really, really hard.

Um, last night, I just...
I had nothing left,

and I would've had a drink

if I didn't get help, so...

Why didn't you say
anything sooner, sweetheart?

Because I'm not the
only one that lost dad,

and focusing it on
me just felt selfish.

No one would've
thought that, Liv.

Ok, we're here now,

so how can we help, Olivia?

I texted everyone

all my usual hiding places
for my pills and stuff.

Jordan already did a
sweep this morning,

so I guess just keep checking

and keep me honest.

Ok, this is, um, this is
all that was left in the house.

That's your dad's.
That's from...

How did you get...

I took it from his
office the night

of the memorial and I've been

holding on to it and, um...

I just... I can't keep
fighting this alone.

You don't have to.
We can do regular sweeps.

We can take turns
driving you to a.A.

I mean, whatever
it takes, honestly.

I don't think I
can be left alone.

Uh, well, then we
won't leave you alone.

- Hey, baby.
- Hey. How's Liv?

Impressively strong.

We're all taking
shifts with her today.

Hmm. And this is why
the vortex rocks. Heh!

I'm gonna get a refill.
Do you want one?

These baby books I'm reading
say that too much caffeine

can elevate your blood
pressure and heart rate.

So can sex. You
gonna stop that, too?

- No, we don't have to follow these books word for word.
- Ha ha!

We can just, you know.

That's what I thought. Mm-hmm.

Oh! My doctor just
got back to me.

She can see us at 2:00 today

for our first ultrasound. Ok.

Wait. I thought our
appointment was in a few weeks.

It was, but she wants to
start monitoring me early

because of my lupus.

Is that normal?
Is she concerned?

Does she think that... that
something could be wrong or...

Hey, ash, slow down. She's
just taking precautions

to make sure I have
a healthy pregnancy.

It's a good thing, babe.

Ok.

Dad must've ordered
this before...

You know, it's weird to
think that this... this...

This could've been one of
the last things that he did.

I'm sorry, Jordan.

You know, we can
just set it aside

till your mom's ready
to deal with it.

No, I don't... I don't
wanna put her through that.

Ok. Do you want me to open it?

I don't know. If...
If we open it,

that's it.

What's it?

There'll be no more
packages, Layla.

The... there'll be no
more moments with dad.

♪ yo, i'm
not an underdog ♪ ♪ nah ♪

♪ not the
undercard ♪ ♪ no ♪

♪ I'm the main
event ♪ : ♪ uh-huh ♪

♪ stay
uninvolved, and you know ♪

♪ that I always
go the distance ♪

♪ and then win by
majority decision ♪

♪ whatever you do, don't
let your guard down ♪

♪ so knuckle up, you
gotta knuckle up ♪

♪ yo, whatever you do,
don't let your guard down ♪

Yo, man. There you are.

Why weren't you at the
baker house this morning?

Was I supposed to be?

Liv called a family
meeting this morning.

She's struggling
with her sobriety,

so we all taking
shifts to help her.

Nah. No, I ain't get the call.

You serious, man? That's
all you gotta say?

What do you want
from me, Coop?

Sounds like she got all the
support she needs, so...

What's really
going on, Olivia?

What do you mean?
I... I told you.

I'm trying not to relapse.

Your father passed
and you're trying

not to drink to numb the pain.

Exactly.

Losing your dad hurts.

I understand that.

And I'm sorry for your pain.

But that's not
the whole story.

I've been where
you are, remember?

You did the right thing
by activating your village

instead of trying to go
at it alone this time.

And that is growth.

But your village can't
babysit you forever.

So you need to dig deep

and find your why, Liv.

Why now do you
want that drink?

Take the leap and find
those answers, today,

while you have your entire
village surrounding you,

ready to catch you if needed.

Coach baker always
had this thing about shoes.

He said respect
started at the feet.

I never understood it

until one day, he gave me
a brand-new pair of cleats.

Told me everyone always
thought his hands

were the key to his
success on the field,

but really it
was his footwork.

He said I had the
same potential

and then every day, he
made sure I believed it.

Yeah, he was always
good at helping people

find their value.

Anyone else wanna share?

I'ma be in this room,
same time, every day.

We're all grieving
coach baker,

but don't nobody
gotta do it alone.

Y'all can roll.

We need to talk about Jabari.

Yeah, I'm worried about him.

He still hasn't resumed
his after-school tutoring,

and now he's failed
his last two tests.

I don't need to tell you
where this path leads

if he doesn't course
correct, and fast.

Well, how's
that for accuracy?

Liv, you are not foundering.

Just wish you could see
yourself the way we see you.

You mean like a cliche
that's relapsing

'cause they're grieving?

No, like a badass

who I'm incredibly proud of

for being honest and
letting us be here for her.

But you've been handling
everything so well and i'm...

I have not

been handling my
grief well at all.

I cry.

Every day.

Mostly in the shower so
you guys don't hear me.

And every morning that I
can even get out of bed

is nothing short of a miracle.

Mom, I'm so sorry.
I didn't know.

Because I didn't
want you to know.

I'm sorry, sweetie. I
gotta get this. One second.

Hello? Yes, this is Laura.

Is everything ok?

Yeah. Apparently,
in order to get

a copy of your dad's
death certificate,

the medical examiner
needs a copy of

his social security card.

Well, is it here? I
can help you look.

No. It's at his office.

But I can get it another day.

Or we... we could go
today. I can come with you.

Sweetie, the bottle that
you almost drank from

was in dad's office.

Clearly, it's
triggering for you.

I mean, you're right. I...

Yeah, I did find the
bottle there, but...

I think that's why I
need to go back there.

You know, nurse joy
says she thinks there's

more to my wanting to drink
than just missing dad,

and she said that I need to
use today to dig deep and find

my real "why" if I'm gonna
get through this, so...

If you think it's
what you need.

- What up, coach?
- Spence.

Did not expect
to see you here.

Had to get a workout
in, you know?

I can't blame you.

Grief isn't a
straight line, right?

If you need to talk,
bruh, I'm here.

Actually, I do.

Where we at with the team?

That should be
the least of your concerns.

It's my only concern. Look,
what happened to coach baker

is horrible, but I
can't change the past.

I gotta focus on what's
next, and right now,

that's rebuilding
gau's football team.

We'll get there. Let's
focus on yourself.

Has a.D. Barnes reached out
about the head coaching gig?

- We haven't connected yet.
- And what about you? You reaching out

- to our new recruits?
- A few here and there.

Are you scheduling workouts?

Are you working on
new plays? What?

Hey, Spence, Spence,
take a beat, all right?

Gau football still has
a lot to figure out

before we can even think about
rebuilding the program again.

Sounds like you waiting
to be told what to do.

Why ain't you in there demanding
a meeting with a.D. Barnes?

When did you stop caring about
the future of gau football, man?

I care about this program,
and you know that.

But more importantly,
I care about you.

And it's clear that you
still need more time.

Until then, if
you need to talk

or just get a workout
in in silence, I'm here.

Nah, I'm good.

Sorry. That
conference call went

longer than I expected.

Jordan, please tell me
you've moved an inch

since I left you.

This is

the last part of my dad
that is still alive.

And I know that doesn't make
any sense at all, but...

No, it makes total sense.

Hey, when we lose
someone we love,

we do everything we
can to hold on to them.

Ok, but Layla, what
if this is where

the reminders of him end?

This last box.

About a year ago, I was
really missing my mom,

and then this track
popped up on my computer

from the recent
batch my dad gave me.

♪ just know ♪

♪ I'm on your side when
you're missing me... ♪

It's one of my
mom's old songs,

and the chorus goes,
"as hard as it can be,

never stop remembering me."

The universe gave me this little
reminder when I needed it.

So this box,
Jordan, it's just...

Just the beginning of
your dad's reminders.

♪ never stop
remembering me... ♪

Thank you.

You would've
never have guessed

that this was
just moments after

we both got food poisoning
after dad insisted

that we get street fish tacos.

- I tried to warn you guys.
- Heh! I know.

But dad was so excited I
didn't want him to eat alone.

The memories won't
always hurt so much.

Or so they say.

Um, Coop's here to pick
me up for her shift.

Do you want me to tell
her to come back later?

Oh, no, sweetie. You go.
I... I can look for his card.

Are you sure?
Liv, i'm... I'm ok here.

I promise.

Go. Coop's waiting.

Ok. Bye.

Aah!

Watch where you going, fool.

Hey, hey. Hey! Hey!

Hey! What's wrong
with you, man?

You're about 7 weeks along.

Baby's measuring perfectly.

And there's your
baby's heartbeat.

We'll get
some bloodwork today.

- Wait, what for?
- Standard procedure.

Everything's looking
good. Congratulations.

Thank you.

I can't believe
this is real. Heh!

I'm... I'm gonna let
you get dressed, ok?

I'll be... I'll
be right outside.

Uh, excuse me?

Yes. Mr. Adams.

Are you sure
everything looked ok?

I've been doing this a long
time. Things looked great.

And the heartbeat.
It wasn't...

Wasn't too fast or too slow?

It was perfect.
What... what about jaymee's lupus?

We're gonna keep a close
eye on her and the baby,

but you really shouldn't
worry right now.

Well, on the Internet, it said

pregnant women who
have lupus are...

Let me stop you right there.

Don't read the Internet.

Jaymee's doing really well

and takes really
good care of herself.

For now, try to
enjoy this moment.

What was that about?

Uh, I... I just had
a few more questions.

- About my body?
- About our baby.

Next time, ask them
in front of me.

I know how to take
care of myself

and this baby, ash.

Here we go.

Uh...

Ok...

Did you leave any
food for anyone else?

Yup, but I figured

as long as your
mouth is chewing,

it can't be drinking.

That's one way to approach it.

I still feel like...

There's a lot that's been
left unsaid between us

since my breakup with Spencer.

- Yeah, but we ain't gotta get
into that now. - Actually,

um... it's important

for both my grief and
my sobriety to honestly

speak up about what
I'm feeling, so...

Well, in that case,

go for it.

Full disclosure...

I used to be jealous

of what you and Spencer had.

You were his best
friend at south crenshaw

and I was his best
friend at Beverly,

but truthfully, I mean, there
was... there was no comparison.

I mean, what you and Spencer
had and still have is...

An unconditional love that
most people can only dream of.

It's seen Spencer
through some of

the toughest
times in his life.

And as someone who
loves him, your loyalty

to him is something
that I'm grateful for.

Well, since we're being
all honest and stuff,

I actually was... I
was scared when you two

started dating
that I'd lose him.

That there'd be
no room for me.

But you made sure there was.

I don't think...

I don't think I
ever said thank you.

I learned that from my dad.

He always made
room in his heart

for whoever walked
through our front door.

It never took anything away
from what he felt for us.

You know, he just
made the extra room.

That's such a beautiful thing.

Plus, um, confession
number two?

I made room for you
for selfish reasons

'cause I wanted some of
that Coop magic in my life.

Come on, man.

And look at us now.
We're not just friends.

We're roommates,
sobriety partners,

family.

I missed you, Liv.

I've missed our friendship.

Me, too.

Hey.

How was your day?

Good. You really been
here this whole time?

No, I left but I came back

and jaymee and Asher,
you know, let me in.

Ok, look, um,

as much as I
appreciate all this,

you really don't gotta
fold my laundry, ok?

Wait. I don't mind, ok?
Plus, it's no big deal.

Hey, how about
we watch a movie,

snack on some cold hot cakes?

Sure. Movie sounds great.

- Ok.
- But we warming up those hot cakes, ok?

Ok. Ok.

Uh, hey.

Is, uh, Asher around?

- He's not here.
- Um, it's ok.

We're a little
early anyway, so...

- Early for what?
- Asher's shift is up.

He was gonna take Liv
to her a.A. Meeting.

I'd do it, but I gotta
make it to another class.

I can
wait on the patio.

I'm sure he'll
be here any sec.

Actually, he took jaymee
to a doctor's appointment.

I don't know when
he'll be back.

Is she ok? Did her lupus
flare back up or...

I'll do it.

I'll take you.

Are you sure? I don't
want to interrupt.

No, you're
not. We was just about

to watch a movie,
but from everything

I heard today, sounds
like your situation

is a little more
life and death so,

um... raincheck?

Yeah.

Of course. Sure.

Thank you.

Both of you.

Mm-hmm.

Ok.

Ok.

Yo, you good?

Buster got in my way.

You can't be hitting
everybody that gets

in your way because you angry.

Look, I know you hurtin'.
We all are. And I can't even

imagine what else you been goin'
through after being on that bus.

You wasting my
time. Can I go now?

Man, sit your ass down.

Look, I'll never
be coach baker,

but I'm sure as hell gonna
keep his legacy alive

by looking after his
south crenshaw kids.

Am I supposed to
say thank you?

You ain't gotta
say nothing to me.

But you can't let your
future go to waste

because you in pain.

Talk to somebody. Anyone.

Or that grief will
eat you alive.

You're probably wondering why I
didn't call you over this morning.

You called who you needed.

No, I called who I didn't
think I'd be burdening.

You've saved my life
enough times, Spencer.

It didn't feel fair to lay this
at your feet too after everything.

That night at the
hospital, after I got shot,

you thanked me for
saving your life.

You remember what I said?

You said anytime.

And I meant it.

So how bad's it been?

Last night was
the worst of it.

That's why I'm searching
for clarity today.

I miss him so much.

I know.

Oh, my god.

My dad used to love
pop up carnivals.

I called them
deathtraps in the making

but he always used
to say they were like

roses that bloom
in concrete...

A beautiful surprise.

What are you doing?

We got 45 minutes before
your meeting, right?

Trust me.

Whoo!

You're not serious.

Yeah, you wanted
clarity, right?

It doesn't get quieter or
more zen than up there.

Carnivals
were your pop's thing,

so you already got a
connection to him here.

Just try it.

It's the closest to heaven we're
gonna get from where we are.

Can we just take a second?

I don't know. Maybe play some
games or something first?

- Liv.
- I'll go up.

I will.

I'm just...

I'm... I'm not ready yet.

How about the basketball toss?

Last time I went up against
you, you whooped my ass.

Sounds like you're scared
to get your ass beat again.

Ok. All right. Let's go.

Game on, woman.

♪ today's
looking like a good day ♪

♪ good vibes, ya, I feel, feel
like it's my birthday... ♪

- It's impossible.
- It's not impossible.

- You gotta believe.
- You gotta just...

It works. Ha ha!

♪ it's
gonna be a good day ♪

♪ and i'm
feeling all right ♪

♪ it's gonna be a good day ♪

♪ so hang around a
while, while, while ♪

♪ gonna be a good day... ♪

- Chill out.
- Chill out.

♪ so hang around a
while, while, while ♪

Whoo!

Ahh! Ha ha!

- Ok. Somebody get me a football.
- Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

I feel like I was hustled.

You ready?

No.

But I'm gonna do it anyway.

Ok.

I'm up here.

Close your eyes.

Take in the quiet.

Wow.

It's like I'm in the clouds.

This is the closest I've felt
to him since he's been gone.

You wanted clarity
on why his loss

was pushing you to drink.

Talk to him...

In here.

♪ ohh ♪

Only you and him
can figure this out.

♪ father, father ♪

♪ maybe I will leave ♪

♪ just like you ♪

♪ brother, brother ♪

♪ oh, if you're reading this ♪

♪ you probably know by now ♪

♪ I've finally found a lover ♪

♪ oh, I love him, I do ♪

♪ I just couldn't save you ♪

Spices and
frozen meat? - Hmm.

- Ooh, the meat is a little thawed.
- Oh.

Mm. Heh! I am grateful

you didn't keep that
package sealed forever,

'cause that smell
would've divided us.

- Ok. Really?
- Yeah.

But what is... what is
all this... all this for?

- Oh. Louisiana night.
- What?

Well, I saw a flyer on the
table at your parents' house.

South crenshaw's hosting a
"Louisiana night" next week.

My dad must've been making my
grandma Mary's jumpin' jambalaya.

He always said he
perfected the recipe

with his secret ingredient.

What is
it? - Whoa!

A secret. Heh! Layla: Ok.

But now I remember why it's
called "jumpin' jambalaya."

Mm. Well, I mean, we can't
let this go to waste,

so I say we end the day
the same way we started it.

All together. Family dinner,

making your dad's
jambalaya, yeah?

- I say let's do it.
- Ok.

Yeah.

Can I get you anything?

I'm fine...

But you can tell me
what's going on with you.

You couldn't even enjoy hearing
your baby's heartbeat today.

Why are you so freaked out
about the baby all of a sudden?

It's not the baby that
has me freaked out.

It's the bus crash.

One minute everything is fine

and then the next...

We're on the side of a cliff

and coach is dead.

I learned the hard way
that nothing is promised

and now I can't
stop thinking about

something bad happening
to you or the baby.

You both are my whole world.

You're our whole world, too.

And you're right.
Nothing is promised.

That's why we have
to live in the now.

Find joy in the now.

Have you thought about
talking to someone?

I'm talking to you.

I mean someone
that can help you

deal with your PTSD.

Someone that can help
you start believing

that you deserve all of the
good things in your life.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

Asher, it's fine.

Really. I got to
my a.A. Meeting.

Jordan's already here to
pick me up. I promise.

I'll see you guys back
at the house later.

So, what was that?

Apology number 9 or...

Yeah, something like that.

Thanks for coming to get me.

Been looking forward
to my shift all day.

How was a.A.?

Everything I needed.

All of today was.

- I'm proud of you.
- You know,

for the first time today,

I can honestly say i'm
really proud of myself, too.

I think I found my why.

It's the silence.

And not, you know,
just, like, the quiet,

but the silence in
things left unsaid.

Silence in friendship,

relationship, and...

Especially the
silence of death.

Silence is the hardest
thing for me to face.

And I think I finally

realised that up on
that Ferris wheel.

And yet you're facing it.

What about others, you know?

People like me who are...

Equally scared of the silence, but
don't have a village to turn to?

What?

I know that look.

- What look?
- The look that dad

always said meant you
were about to do something

that would change
the world for good.

All right. Let's go home.

Am I doing this right?

Mom,
it's just rice.

It's really hard to mess up.

You'd be surprised.
The one time

your dad asked me to help,

let's just say I was
never asked back.

Do you guys
remember the time

that dad threw
out the entire pot

because Liv used
vegetable stock

instead of chicken
stock? - Mm-hmm.

It wasn't my fault. He
bought the wrong thing.

Asher, you sure you know

what you're doing over there,
bruh? - Green peppers...

Hi.

Hi.

- My dad would've loved this.
- Hmm.

Kitchen full of his family and
friends, cooking his favourite meal.

- He'd probably even use my mom's
rice, which is... - Wow.

So thank you.

Why? I didn't do anything.

This has been the
worst couple weeks of my life

and every step of the way, you've
known exactly what I needed.

I'm so grateful to have
you.

Ahem.

I guess this is your
coming out dinner.

Huh.

- I guess so.
- Ooh, ok. Enough.

You guys are making me lose
my appetite with all this sap.

For real. You two need
to get a room, like, asap.

Bro, they already got a room,
and I share a wall with 'em.

- Ok! Thank
you. - Oh, wow.

Can we get back
to cooking, please?

Yes. I'm hungry.

Yeah. What I
was gonna say was that...

- No, chill out.
- Oh, no. That's ok.

So...

In my quest to embrace
full honesty today, um...

I guess we should talk about
what I said a couple weeks ago.

Before your life
turned upside down.

Yours turned upside down, too.

You know, I've always admired
you for how brave you are.

Telling me you wanted me
back couldn't have been easy.

And we owe each other an honest
conversation about what we feel

and where we stand, but...

I want to have it when
we're clear-headed.

- Mm.
- When the battle for your sobriety ain't

at defcon four and I ain't...

What were you gonna say?

Spencer,

my dad was like a dad to you.

It's all good. It's
all good. I'm just...

I'm just glad I could
be there for you today.

And, uh, and we'll have that
conversation when the time's right.

That's a promise.

What's all this?

I think I'm gonna bring
back "live the truth."

Um, I have some things I
want to say to you guys

and anyone else who
needs to hear it.

The bond between a
father and a daughter...

There's absolutely
nothing like it.

I always used to say
my mom gave me my drive

but... my dad
gave me my dreams.

You know, as little
girls, we dream of all

the big life moments we're
gonna share with our dads.

The problem is,
while we're dreaming

those big dreams of
life with our hero,

no one ever warns us
that those same dreams

can be cut short.
That we could just...

Wake up one day and
our dads just be...

Gone.

The silence from
that loss is, uh,

deafening. Heh!

And the desire
to run from it...

It's overwhelming.

But I'm here to tell you,

don't run.

Gather your village.

Face the silence...

And whatever feelings
come with it.

Olivia, voice-over: It can
be feelings of abandonment,

feelings of fear.

"I don't want you
to feel pressured by me,

"so I'm gonna
take a step back.

If you need me, you
know where to find me."

Now's not a good time, coach.

Just came to check on you.

Our conversation
earlier, it went

in a direction that
I didn't expect.

Ok, ok, so now you
checked. I'm good.

- I'm here for you,
son. - I love you, son.

- Billy, voice-over: I do consider you
my son. - I just want you

Don't call me son.

I don't need a daddy, man.

I don't need a mentor
or even a friend.

- Spence, I...
- I need a damn coach.

That is it. Somebody
who's gonna do

whatever it takes to win
and get me to the NFL.

That is all I can count on
and that negro ain't you!

I shoulda listened to those
coaches at tnt and Toledo.

All they cared
about was the game.

I'm done wasting my
time with you, man,

and gau football.

So consider this
my official notice.

I'm entering the portal.

Olivia, voice-over: Sometimes,
it feels like anger.

And that was my
epiphany today.

I'm angry at my dad for dying.

And hiding from that
truth almost cost me

my sanity and my sobriety.

So now I'm speaking my truth
out loud not just for me,

but for anyone else who's going through
something similar.

- Sorry, Mrs. Baker. I was
just... - No, no, it's ok, it's ok.

Preach told me you were
here. Please, stay.

The silence is loud, isn't it?

Leaves a lot of room for your
mind to play tricks on you

if you don't face it head on.

It don't matter.

Yes, you do matter.

That's why my husband
went back for you.

You can't keep carrying
all this guilt, Jabari.

It's not what Billy
would have wanted.

Tell me...

What happened when...

When Billy went
back on the bus.

No.

No, I'm sorry.

I... I've already
caused you enough pain.

And you don't
want to hear that.

No. I don't.

But I need to.

And you need... to release it.

Billy, distorted:

Jabari!

All right, take my hand.
All right, come on.

All right, use this
leg.

There we
go. Ok.

All right, you good?

All right.

What do you say we
get off this damn bus?

Oh! Whoa! Whoa.

Ok, this is gonna be fun. Ok.

All right. We got this. Um,

we're just gonna go
one at a time, right?

Gonna be easy. One at a time.

You go first. One at a time.

You got it. I'm right
behind you, baby.

There we go. My man.

Ah! All right, coach.
Come on. It's your turn.

Tell my family
that I love them.

Coach!

There's nothing you
could have done, Jabari.

Look at me.

There is nothing

that you could have
done.

Olivia, voice-over: For
whoever is out there listening,

I need you to know that you
aren't alone in your grief.

♪ there
are better days to come ♪

And if you
don't have anyone to turn to,

I will be here for you.

♪ there
are better days to come ♪

Olivia, voice-over: Because
when you can't hold yourself up,

it's lifesaving to have a
village that'll do that for you.

♪ when all
of this is said and done ♪

♪ there are better days ♪

♪ to come ♪

Greg, move your head.