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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,349 --> 00:00:04,482 ♪ Go tell it on the mountain 2 00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:08,399 ♪ Over the hills and everywhere ♪ 3 00:00:08,399 --> 00:00:11,272 ♪ Go tell it on the mountain 4 00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:12,838 Zach, what are you doing here? 5 00:00:12,838 --> 00:00:15,363 ♪ That Jesus Christ is born 6 00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:16,929 Oh, he's in a flow state. 7 00:00:16,929 --> 00:00:19,410 He's not gonna answer unless it's in the form of a song. 8 00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:22,718 ♪ Since when are you working here? ♪ 9 00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:26,330 ♪ I'm volunteering once a week ♪ 10 00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:29,725 ♪ Working for free 11 00:00:29,725 --> 00:00:30,595 ♪ Free 12 00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:32,510 Oh, that is so cool. 13 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,817 He is really good. 14 00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:37,037 His family takes caroling very seriously. 15 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,516 Nobody is guaranteed a part. 16 00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:41,563 ♪ Last year, Grandma had throat surgery ♪ 17 00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:44,174 ♪ And we put her on backup bells ♪ 18 00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:45,523 Backup bells! 19 00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,221 ♪ Rang out the angels' choir... ♪ 20 00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,136 Yeah, which is why you should be glad I am not coming. 21 00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:51,138 My voice is meant for spoken word. 22 00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:52,835 Oh, wow. Jacob, I can't believe 23 00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:54,532 you're passing up the opportunity...2, 3, 4! 24 00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:56,273 ...to go to Pittsburgh and sing carols. 25 00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:58,101 I don't want to risk being put on backup bells. 26 00:00:58,101 --> 00:01:00,930 ♪ ...that Jesus Christ is born ♪ 27 00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:05,891 ♪ That Jesus Christ is boooorn ♪ 28 00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:08,894 Okay, I feel way better about you not coming now. 29 00:01:08,894 --> 00:01:10,200 2, 3, 4. 30 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:14,117 ♪ Go tell it on the mountain ♪ 31 00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:17,555 ♪ Over the hills and everywhere ♪ 32 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,440 And Christmas for you... 33 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,921 So, it's the last day of school before Christmas-- 34 00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:37,662 Sorry. Holiday break. 35 00:01:37,662 --> 00:01:40,361 And then I think Kwanzaa for you, Ariel. 36 00:01:40,361 --> 00:01:42,058 Not everyone celebrates Christmas, 37 00:01:42,058 --> 00:01:43,973 and I acknowledge that in my classroom. 38 00:01:43,973 --> 00:01:45,931 And Randall. 39 00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:48,586 Happy holidays. 40 00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,545 Randall's a Jehovah's Witness. 41 00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:52,242 Honestly, the students are mostly 42 00:01:52,242 --> 00:01:53,765 just celebrating the religious practice 43 00:01:53,765 --> 00:01:55,637 of not coming to school for two weeks. 44 00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:57,073 The staff, too. 45 00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:58,901 Everyone's been working hard. 46 00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:00,946 It's gonna be nice to get some time off 47 00:02:00,946 --> 00:02:02,470 and just let loose a little bit. 48 00:02:02,470 --> 00:02:04,298 That's my plan, anyway. 49 00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:05,908 This is my first single holiday, 50 00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:07,823 and Erika is gonna straighten my hair, 51 00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:09,129 and we got new clothes, 52 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,782 and she says it's cold out 53 00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:13,307 and guys need something to "rub up on." 54 00:02:13,307 --> 00:02:15,439 So, we're gonna go out to a hookah bar tonight. 55 00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:19,443 And who knows? Maybe I'll "hoook" up with someone. 56 00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:22,054 But anyway, I'm just excited to get out of my work bubble 57 00:02:22,054 --> 00:02:24,970 and meet new people with my new look 58 00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:27,147 and get my "ho" on. 59 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,496 Those are Erika's words. 60 00:02:28,496 --> 00:02:30,628 Not mine. I'm a teacher. 61 00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:33,892 "On, Dancer, on, Prancer, on, Donner and Blitzen. 62 00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:38,332 She slays holidays, it's the sweet Christmas Vixen." 63 00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:40,203 Seasons greetings, Ava's elves! 64 00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:41,813 It is I, Principal Coleman Claus! 65 00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:44,120 Santa Claus just had a heart attack. 66 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,600 It's time for the gift exchange. 67 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,211 Let's find out who's been naughty and who's been nice. 68 00:02:48,211 --> 00:02:51,214 And, remember, I only reward the naughty. 69 00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:53,999 Everyone who picked a name out of Mr. Johnson's ice skate 70 00:02:53,999 --> 00:02:55,392 last week, please gather 'round. 71 00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:57,786 Dorothy Hamill and I used to be a thing. 72 00:02:57,786 --> 00:02:59,483 This is all I have left of her. 73 00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:02,573 Okay, I hope you guys all stuck to the $25 minimum. 74 00:03:02,573 --> 00:03:04,314 Um, I thought that was a maximum. 75 00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:05,794 Stop limiting yourself. 76 00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:07,839 Thinking small's what's got you in a dead-end job 77 00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:09,145 in a poorly run school. 78 00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:11,321 - Can't argue with that. - Um, can I go first? 79 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:13,410 I got Mr. Johnson. 80 00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:16,283 So, you told me, against my will, 81 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:18,198 that back when you were a nude art model, 82 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,025 you didn't get to keep any of the things 83 00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:21,505 made in your likeness. 84 00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:25,205 So, I had a local artist make this, 85 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,902 and only this, for you. 86 00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:28,817 - Wow! - Love it. 87 00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,253 Yeah. Aww. 88 00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,168 "To clean, or not to clean? That is the question." 89 00:03:33,691 --> 00:03:36,172 Alright, put your creepy little head down. 90 00:03:36,172 --> 00:03:37,565 It's your turn to gift. 91 00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,306 Merry Christmas, Melissa. 92 00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:40,742 Ah, for me. 93 00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,178 Okay, let's see. 94 00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,571 Dallas Cowboy bobbleheads? 95 00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:45,660 Yours to destroy in any way you see fit. 96 00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:48,402 Oh! I can finally break out my blowtorch. 97 00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,404 Yes! Okay, okay. 98 00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:53,102 - Ava, I got you. - Wait a minute, are you sure? 99 00:03:53,102 --> 00:03:54,408 Because I got Ava. 100 00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:55,800 Uh, I did, too. 101 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,280 Yeah, I put my name in a few times 102 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,716 'cause I knew all of your mediocre gifts 103 00:03:58,716 --> 00:04:00,936 would add up to one decent gift. 104 00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:04,331 Seventeen dollars to The Office Loft? 105 00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:06,594 I didn't think it would be yours, Gregory. 106 00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:10,380 Merry Capitalism to you all. 107 00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:12,730 Barbara, although I did not participate 108 00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:14,341 in the gift exchange, I did get you 109 00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:16,908 the humanely harvested poinsettia you asked for. 110 00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:18,693 Merry Christmas. 111 00:04:18,693 --> 00:04:20,956 Jacob. 112 00:04:20,956 --> 00:04:22,653 It's beautiful. 113 00:04:22,653 --> 00:04:26,875 And perfect for Melissa and my annual Christmas Lounge dinner. 114 00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,355 Every year, it's our tradition, 115 00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,270 on the last day of school before break... 116 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,401 We bring in some food. 117 00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:32,707 - Yeah, have a little wine. - Mm-hmm. 118 00:04:32,707 --> 00:04:34,578 It's our own little slice of heaven, 119 00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:38,930 you know, in between school madness and family chaos. 120 00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:41,063 Oh, actually, I remember you guys doing that last year, 121 00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:43,631 when Zach and I were headed out on our Wildwood vacation. 122 00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:44,936 Where are you two headed this year? 123 00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,590 Oh, well, he's going to be with family, 124 00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,984 so it's just me here. 125 00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:50,899 Alone. By myself. 126 00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:52,857 Well, that sounds fun. Come on, Barb. 127 00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:55,251 What in the world? 128 00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:58,472 Looks like it's just you, me... and me. 129 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,393 - Hey. You leaving? - Yeah. 130 00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:07,829 You don't want to stick around to see 131 00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,396 if Barbara drinks enough fun punch to do the heel-toe? 132 00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:12,007 Oh, no, I definitely do. 133 00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,269 But, um, I'm meeting Erika. 134 00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:15,315 So, I gotta go get ready. 135 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,317 Oh. Leaving a school function early? 136 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,406 That's new. It is new. 137 00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:21,277 I am having a life outside of school. 138 00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:22,626 Well, that's nice. 139 00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:24,889 I'm also going out with some friends tonight. 140 00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:26,282 Okay, cool. Well... 141 00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:30,852 I hope you have a good time, and enjoy your break. 142 00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:32,070 Yeah. You, too. 143 00:05:32,070 --> 00:05:34,116 Yeah. And I'll, um, see you next year? 144 00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:37,075 See you next year. Alright. 145 00:05:37,075 --> 00:05:40,383 Yeah, I'm gonna miss Gregory, but I'm gonna miss everybody. 146 00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,298 And that includes Gregory. 147 00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:45,867 And, you know, we've become really good friends this year. 148 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:50,698 And he's doing so well with teaching and dating Amber. 149 00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:53,483 Okay, Mr. Johnson's gonna be here in a few. 150 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,877 We got food. We got... 151 00:05:55,877 --> 00:05:56,921 Wine. Yeah. 152 00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,445 We got... 153 00:05:58,445 --> 00:05:59,533 Jacob. 154 00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,709 Did someone call Nine-Fun-Fun? 155 00:06:01,709 --> 00:06:03,363 - You didn't. - I did. 156 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,407 I'm very grateful to you. 157 00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:05,713 Ooh. Don't worry. 158 00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:08,846 You will barely even notice I am here. 159 00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:11,501 Did you get my dietary restrictions? 160 00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:13,155 I love Jacob. I do. 161 00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:15,026 But, you know what? He's a lot like paint fumes. 162 00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:18,639 Like, small doses-- fine, even somewhat enjoyable. 163 00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,728 But too much just gives you a headache. 164 00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:23,034 Damn! 165 00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,602 It's early, and there's already fine-ass men in the line. 166 00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:28,213 Imagine how stupid fine the late ones gonna be. 167 00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:31,042 Okay, so, will they just, like, come up to us, or-- 168 00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:32,435 Like, how will they know we're thirsty? 169 00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:34,089 Should we pant? Oh, no. 170 00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:36,047 Not thirsty. Just cute. 171 00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:37,222 Okay. Okay? 172 00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:38,223 Okay. Trust me. 173 00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:40,878 They'll know. Okay. 174 00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:42,706 If you stop doing that booby dance. 175 00:06:42,706 --> 00:06:43,968 Girl, save that for the club. 176 00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:44,665 Okay. Relax. 177 00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:45,579 Yes. Relax. Yeah. 178 00:06:45,579 --> 00:06:47,276 Calm, cool, chill. 179 00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:48,495 Single, hot. Yeah. 180 00:06:48,495 --> 00:06:50,497 Look, you left Teacher Janine at home. 181 00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,499 - Yeah. - Tonight, we getting turnt. 182 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:53,543 That's right. 183 00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:54,718 I'm Turnt Janine! 184 00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:56,241 Don't have to make it an adjective. 185 00:06:56,241 --> 00:06:57,939 Okay. Okay? We cool. 186 00:06:59,027 --> 00:07:00,463 How y'all ladies doin' tonight? 187 00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:02,683 Ooh. Fine. Thank you. Mm. 188 00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:05,250 - Janine? - Gregory? 189 00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:07,296 S-- J-- Um, you're here. 190 00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:08,471 I am here. 191 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:10,473 Sorry. Do you, um... 192 00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:12,344 You come here often, or-- I'm sorry. 193 00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:13,563 That sounds like a pickup line, 194 00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:14,869 but in this case, I'm being genuine. 195 00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:17,262 I mean, yeah, sometimes with friends. 196 00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:18,873 - Hi. - You look... 197 00:07:18,873 --> 00:07:20,004 Yeah. 198 00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,571 You also look, um... 199 00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:22,703 I'm so sorry. 200 00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:24,182 I just was not expecting to see 201 00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:25,488 anyone from work here to-- 202 00:07:25,488 --> 00:07:27,621 Ava? Ava's here? 203 00:07:27,621 --> 00:07:29,449 Sorry. I don't speak line. 204 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,494 Ladies, don't look at them. 205 00:07:38,849 --> 00:07:40,198 ♪ All of the other reindeer 206 00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:41,548 ♪ Used to laugh and call him names ♪ 207 00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:44,028 ♪ They never let poor Rudolph 208 00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:46,683 ♪ Join in any reindeer games 209 00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:48,380 ♪ Then one foggy Christmas Eve... ♪ 210 00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:50,034 Girl, what's going on? 211 00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:52,167 You're giving very chaperone energy. 212 00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:54,299 Just, I was-- 213 00:07:54,299 --> 00:07:56,824 I was excited about coming out and, you know, letting loose, 214 00:07:56,824 --> 00:07:59,870 but now my coworkers are here, and my boss. 215 00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:02,699 You are a grown-ass woman. 216 00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:06,007 It's only a big deal if you make it a big deal. 217 00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:09,271 Uh, and I'm certain your boss not gonna give a damn. 218 00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:12,274 Mm. That's an impressive circle twerk. 219 00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:15,146 Oh. I think that's my ex-boyfriend over there. 220 00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:16,583 I'm-a go say hi. 221 00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:17,975 That's your ex? 222 00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:19,629 Yeah, after I introduce myself, you know, 223 00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:20,978 start dating, get super clingy, 224 00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:22,545 and go through his phone, he might be. 225 00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:24,634 Have fun. 226 00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:26,854 ♪ Then all the reindeer loved him ♪ 227 00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:29,596 ♪ As they shouted out with glee ♪ 228 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:31,902 ♪ "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer ♪ 229 00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:33,730 ♪ You'll go down in history" 230 00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:35,558 ♪ Forever ♪ 231 00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:37,473 ♪ Now bring us some figgy pudding...♪Here you go. 232 00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:39,867 Ugh, I'm sorry, but Zach has been singing this song nonstop, 233 00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,608 and I just cannot anymore. 234 00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,610 Okay, I get charity during the holidays, 235 00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,394 but, Barb, this is Mother Teresa level. 236 00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:46,656 Can we not? 237 00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:48,049 Are you talking about Mother Teresa? 238 00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:51,182 Did you know she was actually a huge racist? 239 00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:55,273 Hey, thanks again for including me in your tradition. 240 00:08:55,273 --> 00:08:57,319 And we are happy to have you, Jacob. 241 00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:59,887 I'm sure you already know that Christmas was essentially 242 00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:02,367 invented by Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol," right? 243 00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:03,717 Maybe we can just focus on-- 244 00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:05,196 It's because of him that this time of year 245 00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:06,894 has turned into such a materialist bacchanal. 246 00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:09,070 Oh, that guy sounds really annoying. 247 00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:11,202 Beyond. He took a great tradition 248 00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:12,856 and turned it into something miserable. 249 00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:14,902 Can't imagine why anybody would do something like that. 250 00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:17,078 Me neither. Some people, you know? 251 00:09:17,078 --> 00:09:18,166 Yeah, I sure do. 252 00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,210 Melissa. 253 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,516 I'm agreeing with him. 254 00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,344 Hey, it looks like your coworker 255 00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:23,563 needs somebody to talk to. 256 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,912 Ah, no. I don't think I should. 257 00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:26,783 We was just at work--I'm talking about me. 258 00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:29,003 Yeah, she's super cute. Short, too. 259 00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,482 Just my type. 260 00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:32,920 But is she tall enough to ride all of the rides? 261 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,878 - Let's find out. - Ah, no, no, Mo. 262 00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,401 You don't want to do that. You don't. 263 00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:38,055 She's-- She's more of a relationship type. 264 00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:39,535 And I know that's not what you're looking for. 265 00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:41,058 - Oh. Whatever. - Yeah. 266 00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:42,407 There's plenty of fish in the sea. 267 00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:44,235 What about her? 268 00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:46,716 She kinda tall. That's also my type. 269 00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:48,588 She can definitely ride all the rides. 270 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,720 I mean, - you're gonna regret it. - That's perfect. 271 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,722 No, no, no, no. Okay, Mo, come here. 272 00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:56,030 Look, how about anybody other than my coworkers? 273 00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,945 Anybody else. 274 00:09:57,945 --> 00:09:59,599 - Whatever, man. - Anybody else. 275 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,992 - Ooh, hey. - See? 276 00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:04,168 ♪ Make it bounce like her booty do, booty do ♪ 277 00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:06,823 ♪ She make it bounce like her booty do, booty do ♪ 278 00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:08,259 ♪ I told her bounce like her booty do ♪ 279 00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:09,783 Okay.♪ I keep bread at all times 280 00:10:09,783 --> 00:10:11,262 ♪ Pigeon food 281 00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:12,829 ♪ Comin' to the stage, shawty tryna see ♪ 282 00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,657 ♪ Shawty make it pump like 35 on 3 ♪ 283 00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:15,876 ♪ Nah'Tum'Bout 284 00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,486 ♪ Promissory cake for the D 285 00:10:17,486 --> 00:10:19,444 ♪ Big spenders wit' ya stash times three ♪ 286 00:10:19,444 --> 00:10:20,794 ♪ Nah'Tum'Bout 287 00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:22,143 ♪ Shawty use to dance on da weekend ♪ 288 00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:24,145 Hey. Hey. 289 00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:26,060 How about half of Abbott Elementary being here? 290 00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:27,627 Is Barbara here? Oh, my God, I'm gonna throw up. 291 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,629 No. No, no, no, no. She's not here. 292 00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:30,847 There's too much sinning going on. 293 00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:34,024 Oh. Just Ava alone is... 294 00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:36,418 Yeah. 295 00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:37,724 So, where's Amber? 296 00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,334 Oh, she's at home. Oh, okay. 297 00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:42,293 Um-- Uh, at her-- her home, not my-- We don't-- 298 00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:44,208 We don't live together. I'm-- I'm... 299 00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:45,949 I didn't think that you--I'm just having a boys' night out. 300 00:10:45,949 --> 00:10:48,256 Okay. Yeah. With-- Yo. 301 00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:49,474 Yeah, he's great. 302 00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:51,259 ♪ I told her bounce like her booty do ♪ 303 00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:52,782 Yo, it seems like we're the only ones not, 304 00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:55,524 like, dancing or mingling. 305 00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:57,569 I know. I know. We are weird. 306 00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,660 Sh-- Should we go out there and be normal together? 307 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:01,835 Yeah. 308 00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:03,445 I enjoy the act of being normal. 309 00:11:03,445 --> 00:11:05,012 - I love it. Yeah. - Then let's-- let's be normal. 310 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,230 - Okay. Yeah. - Yeah. 311 00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:07,405 Two people dancing. 312 00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:08,406 - Uh-huh. - Mingling. 313 00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:09,494 Yeah. Being normal. 314 00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,061 After you. Okay. 315 00:11:11,061 --> 00:11:13,150 ♪ Drug dealer, thug or overseas ♪ 316 00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:15,979 All I'm saying is, like a lot of things, 317 00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:18,199 Christmas trees are stolen pagan traditions. 318 00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:20,549 That doesn't bother you? Like... 319 00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,159 You know what? It really does. 320 00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:25,249 I'm gonna head outside and see if I can't get over it. 321 00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:26,686 What a lovely idea. 322 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,210 But... it's 30 degrees out. 323 00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:32,213 My liquor coat will make it a toasty 42. 324 00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:36,739 You know, while I got you, Rudolph-- 325 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:38,219 created by advertisers. 326 00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:39,524 To sell what? 327 00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:40,917 Red noses? 328 00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,963 Boy, you sound ridiculous. 329 00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:48,142 ♪ Two bad broads looking like they down right ♪ 330 00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:50,231 ♪ Baby, tell me, is you down right? ♪ 331 00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:53,713 ♪ My squad, real stop, messing with them clowns right ♪ 332 00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:56,846 Huh? What'd you say? 333 00:11:56,846 --> 00:11:58,935 I didn't say anything. 334 00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,894 Yeah, that was funny. 335 00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:04,071 Do you like this song? 336 00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:05,507 Oh, I don't dance to songs I don't like. 337 00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:07,378 I don't want the DJ to get the wrong idea. 338 00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:08,858 You know what? I don't like it that much, either. 339 00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:10,294 Yeah, me, too. 340 00:12:10,294 --> 00:12:12,644 Can I grab her real quick? 341 00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:14,734 - Huh? - Thank you. 342 00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:16,736 - Hey, girl. - Hey. 343 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,563 You having fun? I am. 344 00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:19,782 Doing a little step touch? 345 00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:20,870 You know it. Getting freaky. 346 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:22,829 Okay. No! 347 00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,787 Girl, you acting like you got a man at home, 348 00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:26,963 and last time I checked, you don't. 349 00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:28,878 I thought you was supposed to be turning up tonight. 350 00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:30,097 Yeah, I know. 351 00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:31,402 I'm just-- I'm working up to it. 352 00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:33,709 You've been working up to it for months. 353 00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:35,319 Turn that ass up! 354 00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:36,451 Okay. I-I will. 355 00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:38,061 You will what? 356 00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,280 I need to hear you say it. 357 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:40,672 I will--Come on. Say it, baby girl. 358 00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:42,500 I will-- You will what? 359 00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:43,850 I will turn that ass up! 360 00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:45,852 That's right. Now go ahead and make Juvenile proud. 361 00:12:45,852 --> 00:12:47,767 - Come on. - Okay. 362 00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:50,770 - Hey. - Hey. 363 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:51,988 Will you try the cake I brought? 364 00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:53,250 No one has even touched it. 365 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,122 - You're ruining Christmas, man. - Oh, come on. 366 00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:56,863 My cake can't be that bad, can it? 367 00:12:58,255 --> 00:13:00,780 - Oh. - I'm not talking about the cake. 368 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,347 Listen, I don't like Christmas either. 369 00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:05,436 You know what tinsel can do to a vacuum? 370 00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:08,135 But you don't see me raining on everyone's parade. 371 00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:09,701 Oh, I think Barbara and Melissa 372 00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,878 enjoy my withering takes on, uh-- 373 00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:15,751 They chose frostbite over your withering takes. 374 00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:18,101 Yeah, I mean... okay, 375 00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:21,626 I guess I could dial back the anti-Kringle rhetoric a bit. 376 00:13:21,626 --> 00:13:22,845 You gotta do more than that. 377 00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,847 This is over the top. What is your deal? 378 00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,762 There is no deal, man. I... 379 00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:28,633 You can't lie to a janitor. 380 00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:30,853 Plumbers, on the other hand... 381 00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:35,553 Look, Christmas is not my favorite thing, okay? 382 00:13:35,553 --> 00:13:38,034 I don't have a lot of good memories around it. 383 00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:39,340 Well, you had a good chance to make a good 384 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:41,951 Christmas memory tonight, and you blew it. 385 00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:44,084 This is the only time these ladies really get a break, 386 00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:46,826 and you're grinching up the place. 387 00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:50,568 You know what? 388 00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:52,962 Night's not over yet. 389 00:13:54,572 --> 00:13:57,967 Finally get to enjoy this nasty ass cake in silence. 390 00:13:57,967 --> 00:14:02,972 Okay, next year, we'll go back to just you and me. 391 00:14:02,972 --> 00:14:04,974 You sure you won't miss being visited 392 00:14:04,974 --> 00:14:07,411 by the ghost of NPR's past? 393 00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:09,761 Ooh! Ladies! Don't move! 394 00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:10,980 I'll be right back! 395 00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:12,852 Or you can move. Just, uh, don't leave. 396 00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,899 Merry Christmas to you, too, buddy! 397 00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:18,161 That boy! 398 00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:20,947 - Let's go back inside now. - Ugh. 399 00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:23,340 ♪ Pull up in the back 400 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:24,994 ♪ Jump out that coupe 401 00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:26,517 - Ooh. - You good? 402 00:14:26,517 --> 00:14:27,692 Yep. 403 00:14:27,692 --> 00:14:29,651 You sure? Yeah. 404 00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:30,870 ♪ I'm stating the facts 405 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,306 ♪ Better stomp that yard 406 00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:34,177 ♪ Before you ever try to step to this cat ♪ 407 00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:36,179 ♪ Yeah, want to ride for the team? ♪ 408 00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:37,572 ♪ She like, "Hell yeah" 409 00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:38,965 What the... 410 00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:41,445 Not my work husband grinding on my work nemesis. 411 00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:44,057 Pour me something cheap so I can spit it out. 412 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:48,757 Hit me again. 413 00:14:48,757 --> 00:14:50,454 ♪ I don't really care if you knocking my style ♪ 414 00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:55,285 ♪ I could just stare at those curves ♪ 415 00:14:55,285 --> 00:14:56,634 ♪ Hanging on every word 416 00:14:56,634 --> 00:14:59,202 ♪ You wear that thing that I like ♪ 417 00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:01,335 ♪ Bottle of Ace on some ice 418 00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:02,684 ♪ Close as we ever been 419 00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,120 Damn, Janine. 420 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:06,906 Why you can't move like that during step practice? 421 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,385 Gregory, no notes. 422 00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:11,214 You know, I'm-a go get some air. 423 00:15:11,214 --> 00:15:13,260 Yeah, I'm-a-- - I'm-a join you. - Okay. 424 00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:16,437 Gregory, you still owe me a body shot. 425 00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:20,223 Merry Christmas! 426 00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:25,011 Seriously?! 427 00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:31,234 Oh, no, no, no, no! 428 00:15:31,234 --> 00:15:32,975 Oh, God. 429 00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,500 Ooh! 430 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:37,588 What are you doing? 431 00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:38,894 Saving Christmas! 432 00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:41,505 Run! Run, Forrest, run! 433 00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:45,205 No, wait! Wait, don't go yet. 434 00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:47,947 Jacob, I'm sorry, but I can't hear one more story 435 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,166 about how Santa's the devil himself. 436 00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:51,907 Well, actually, in some cultures-- 437 00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:53,126 You know, never mind. 438 00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:56,694 Uh, you both love Christmas so much, 439 00:15:56,694 --> 00:16:00,611 and I have been nothing but a real grinch all night. 440 00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:05,007 I come to you with gifts, as a token of my humble apology. 441 00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:07,183 Tastykakes, candy... 442 00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:09,011 - scratchers? - Ooh. Yes. 443 00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:10,143 They were out of hot chocolate, 444 00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:11,579 but I got room-temperature Yoohoo. 445 00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,320 I will stick with the candy. 446 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,627 This has been, like, one of the greatest Christmas experiences 447 00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:17,977 I've ever had. 448 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,239 Greatest? 449 00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:21,632 No wonder you hate Christmas so much. 450 00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:31,816 Look, the holidays are a tough time for me. 451 00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,209 Okay? 452 00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:36,343 I got a lot of bad memories around Christmas. 453 00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:39,433 It's usually a lot of fighting, a lot of dysfunction. 454 00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:44,394 So, I'm-- I'm really sorry I ruined it for both of you. 455 00:16:44,394 --> 00:16:46,135 Oh. 456 00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:48,964 Thank you for sharing, Jacob. 457 00:16:48,964 --> 00:16:50,226 And thank you for the gifts. 458 00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,836 That was very thoughtful. 459 00:16:51,836 --> 00:16:55,014 And you see, Melissa, the spirit of Christmas 460 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,928 has worked its magic after all. 461 00:16:56,928 --> 00:16:58,713 Yeah, and I won 3 bucks. 462 00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,497 Merry Jacob-mas. 463 00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:05,328 Whew! There's not a lot of ventilation in there. 464 00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:06,938 Yeah, which is what you want when you're inhaling 465 00:17:06,938 --> 00:17:07,983 a lot of secondhand smoke. 466 00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:13,293 Okay. 467 00:17:14,294 --> 00:17:15,730 That was a fun dance. 468 00:17:15,730 --> 00:17:16,774 That was fun. 469 00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:18,080 - Yeah. It was fun. - Right? 470 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,864 Yeah. It's-- I haven't done that in a while. 471 00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:21,562 Yeah. Yeah. 472 00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:26,871 Oh. Wow. 473 00:17:26,871 --> 00:17:29,222 Snow? 474 00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:32,442 Beautiful. 475 00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:53,550 Um... 476 00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:55,117 Is that Amber? 477 00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:57,685 Yeah. Um, she decided to come out. 478 00:17:57,685 --> 00:18:00,079 And I guess she's at a bar around the corner. 479 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,385 Oh. She wants me to meet her. 480 00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:04,083 Yeah. 481 00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,214 Yeah, no, for sure. 482 00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:07,782 You should go. 483 00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:10,176 Adiós, mi amigos. 484 00:18:10,176 --> 00:18:12,308 Feliz cumpleaños. 485 00:18:12,308 --> 00:18:13,788 That's Happy Birthday. 486 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:15,050 I know. 487 00:18:15,050 --> 00:18:17,879 I don't know why I'm speaking Spanish. 488 00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,882 You gonna be good if I, um... 489 00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:25,626 Have a good break, Gregory. 490 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,805 Have a good break, Janine. 491 00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:45,559 Hey. Have you seen Gregory? 492 00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,302 I'm sorry. Looks like you're in deep thought. 493 00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:52,827 No, it's-- Gregory just left. 494 00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:57,266 Hey, you know what's crazy? 495 00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:58,615 It takes, like, an hour for a snowflake 496 00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:00,182 to go from cloud to ground. 497 00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:02,402 That's cool. How'd you know that? 498 00:19:02,402 --> 00:19:06,232 I drink a lot of Snapple, so I kinda know some facts. 499 00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:08,538 I figured you would like it 'cause it's science. 500 00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:11,802 Gregory told me about the egg drop you did for your students. 501 00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:13,282 He told you about that? 502 00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:15,241 I work at UPS, so it's kind of like 503 00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,807 an egg drop every day, you know? 504 00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:19,810 We drop packages and... 505 00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,160 I'm Maurice. 506 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,510 You're Janine, right? 507 00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:24,728 Yeah. 508 00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:31,082 Um, look, I was thinking I would come to Pittsburgh after all. 509 00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:36,392 I cannot wait to eat endless ham and sing those carols. 510 00:19:36,392 --> 00:19:40,004 Well, maybe I could just, like, hum along. 511 00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:41,658 Me, too. Alright, great. 512 00:19:41,658 --> 00:19:44,008 Bye. 513 00:19:44,008 --> 00:19:47,229 ♪ Good tidings we bring♪ 514 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:50,493 ♪ To you and your kin♪ 515 00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:51,581 ♪ Good tid--♪ 516 00:19:51,581 --> 00:19:53,583 Alright, bye, girl. 517 00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:57,239 Bye, child. See you later. 518 00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:58,632 What are you doing out here? 519 00:19:58,632 --> 00:20:01,461 You know short people freeze the fastest. 520 00:20:01,461 --> 00:20:02,897 Where's your friend? 521 00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:05,421 She's otherwise occupied. 522 00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:07,684 So, you're just standing out here by yourself? 523 00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:09,338 Did you even meet anybody tonight, 524 00:20:09,338 --> 00:20:11,688 or did you waste all your time dancing with Gregory? 525 00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:14,822 I actually did meet somebody. 526 00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:18,434 But I think I'm gonna call it a night and go home, so... 527 00:20:18,434 --> 00:20:20,436 Well, me and my boyfriend are going to another bar, 528 00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:23,004 and you all dressed up and looking good. 529 00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:25,920 God knows when that's gonna happen again, so... 530 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,226 you're coming with us. 531 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,750 That actually sounds fun. Thank you. 532 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,493 Wait, you have a boyfriend? 533 00:20:33,493 --> 00:20:35,234 You thought I was single? 534 00:20:40,717 --> 00:20:42,066 So, who is this boyfriend of yours? 535 00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:43,372 And, like, how long has it been? And what's his name? 536 00:20:43,372 --> 00:20:44,721 Janine, I know we're not in school 537 00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:46,375 and it's the holidays, but I'll still fire you. 538 00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:48,072 Okay, just start with how long you've been dating him. 539 00:20:48,072 --> 00:20:50,031 Well, he's been dating me for five years, 540 00:20:50,031 --> 00:20:52,381 but I've only been dating him for two. 541 00:20:53,948 --> 00:20:56,559 You ready, babe? 542 00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:58,257 Hope you're not too tired from all that dancing. 543 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,868 Just got a second wind. 544 00:21:00,868 --> 00:21:04,350 Are you three-time NBA champion Andre Iguodala? 545 00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,265 - Four-time. - Oh. 546 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,354 - You must be Janine. - I am. 547 00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:10,356 You're even shorter than Ava said. 548 00:21:10,356 --> 00:21:11,313 Call me Iggy. 549 00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:13,228 Don't call him anything. 550 00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:14,925 She's so funny. 551 00:21:16,144 --> 00:21:18,581 Wow. 552 00:21:18,581 --> 00:21:19,800 Oh. 553 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,368 Yeah, I'll just get in on the other side. 37504

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