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Is this a true story?

Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX

Yes, I would say so.

Is the priest a real priest?

No.

But it's as if they were waiting for him.

Can you tell me something new?

Who did you play with today?

Oh yeah, you're not supposed to talk

with your mouth full, huh?

Uh oh.

Come here, come here.

It's okay, come here.

You can tell us some stories, huh daddy?

Yeah.

Who's that?

I don't know.

Is that Marks?

People are weird.

Mmm hmm.

It just hurts so bad,

it's just painful.

It's painful to die.

Psychologically if I don't think I'm sick then I'm not sick.

But recently, my body is catching up and my mind is saying,

"Okay, I give in, I am sick."

So, it's just been a hard battle.

If it hadn't been for my son, I would not have made it,

there's just no way,

because I would have nothing to live for.

I'm almost at the point where I should give up,

but without that baby, I just can't give up.

I used to be real mad at God.

I hate you, why did you do this to me?

But I'm not too sick that I can't take care of my son.

It's been rough, all this pain.

It's just unbearable and uncontrollable.

I don't see personally how other people

can manage pain this bad.

I don't see how they do it.

Day in, day out, you can't even sleep,

because the pain is so bad.

Don't even want to be with your son

at times because the pain is so bad.

That's hurtful.

So I just gotta keep praying and believing.

So, it has to work out.

Yeah.

Can I have one of your cigarettes?

Huh.

Smoking priest?

Smoking priest.

Here and there.

I don't smoke very much,

but I'd like to smoke a cigarette here.

I used to smoke rolled cigarettes, rolled tobacco.

What did you eat today?

Garbage, it's all garbage.

What did you drink today?

Nothing, nothing at all.

What did you dream today?

Nothing, nothing at all.

You know what?

I don't believe you.

I don't believe you at all.

It just hurts so much, dying, this way.

It's so painful.

I'd much rather be shot than to go through this pain.

Sorry.

But with my Isaiah's help, he keeps me going.

I've got to blow my nose.

Excuse me a minute.

Ah ah ah ah!

My mom is 45, 46 years old.

And these two are gonna jump my mom.

For no reason?

Yeah, absolutely no reason.

My mom didn't swing, didn't punch, didn't do nothing.

Then they also punched my little brother in the mouth, too.

Really?

Yeah.

If it'd been me driving and they came and acted stupid,

I'd have probably went to jail,

because the minute they hopped on my mom,

I'd have punched one of them.

That's just wrong, you don't jump on my mom like that.

I got into another fight about a month after that.

It was the wrong person, I mean,

all I did was pick him up and throw him on the ground.

Then we asked him who he was, and it was the wrong person.

I said, "Dude, sorry man, wrong place, wrong time.

"I was meaning to get somebody else."

Then, his brother and his friend came looking for us.

I explained to his brother that it was an accident,

it was my bad dude, it could have went a lot further

than what it did, but it didn't.

And then he goes and walks off like nothing's gonna happen

and then his big 300-pound fucking friend walks up

and punches me in the lip again.

Every time, someone wants to punch me in my lip.

I went to prison when I was 17 years old.

And, up until then my mother wanted us to go to church.

My little brothers and sisters, they always went to church.

And we'd cuss or something

and my mother would smack the shit out of us.

I first went to prison

for armed robbery and possession.

And when I was in there, I got real racist.

And I've been racist every since,

until this last trip.

'Cause I got a daughter

that's got black kids and colored kids.

I've been stabbed by black people, stabbed black people.

And I was in the KKK from

'88 up to '94.

Whenever I was out.

Last time I was around the KKK was in '94,

2004 was when I got out of prison.

They tried to get me to re-come

back in and I wouldn't do it.

There was the Grand Dragon and then there was me.

And we only have a group

of about 40 or 50 us in Springfield.

I was next to take his place, and I didn't want it.

'Cause prejudice will get you nowhere.

Do you take care of mommy?

Yeah.

Do you love her?

Do you love your mother?

He's asking you a question.

Honey, do you love me?

Yeah.

Oh, well, talk up then.

Do you believe in God?

Yeah.

Do you pray?

Do you?

Do you pray?

You won't comment.

Do you say your prayers?

Oh.

You do pray?

No?

But you believe in God?

Yeah.

Do you talk to him?

Alright, now you got two eyes and one nose.

And make a smiley face.

Mm hmm.

No, I'm gonna do it.

These two are my life.

Before Jeremiah was born,

I was going down a pretty bad road.

Yeah.

Hanging around the wrong crowd, looking at prison.

You see how I made a funny face?

Oh.

When I turned 18, I got caught up in some mess.

Had two felony twos,

and looking at about 15 years each.

And the bad thing about it was

I was just in the wrong place at the right time,

hanging with the wrong people.

Luckily, somebody knew the truth and God blessed me

so I didn't have to do no jail time.

The most I did was two months, a month for each charge.

But after all the court was all taken care of

threw both cases out, threw both cases out

went about my, went about my way.

Yeah, I never did, I still don't think much of myself.

Never have.

I've always been fat, I've always been dull,

I've always been, you know, just I don't know.

I've never met up to my expectations, I guess.

I always thought that they didn't like me

as much as I liked them.

That there was always some ulterior motive

for them wanting to be with me.

That they weren't with me because they liked me or loved me.

They were with me because they wanted housing and food

and you know stuff like that.

Kind of a lousy way to live, I guess.

The hardest part of it all is

explaining to anyone what happened.

There's not many people that'll listen,

and the ones that do listen judge me so quickly.

They don't know.

One night I worked an 11:00 to 7:00.

And when I got off that morning,

I went and picked up my kids from my sister's house,

and we went home and we were up 'til,

I had been up for over 24 hours by the time

that we decided to lay down and take a nap.

I laid Alaysia and Dagan in their rooms

and Keanu was on the couch with me.

And when I woke up the apartment was full of water.

I went back to the back bathroom

and all three of my babies were in the tub.

It was overflowing and the water was still running.

And Keanu was face down in the water.

What do you tell yourself,

to keep on going, to keep on moving towards.

To keep going and just hold your head up high

and trust in yourself.

Smile and be lucky for what

you have and just go on with life.

That's really all you can do.

'Cause, eventually, it is going to get better.

But you have to make it get better;

you have to work on it yourself.

Look, the party's all ready.

Hello, hello, hello.

How are you?

Mm, been better man, ha ha.

It's been a rough week.

I heard.

Samantha was telling me that you may have a job?

Hopefully.

That's good news.

Ouch, that was the corner.

Yeah, I believe that her sister's

supposed to be trying to set it up or something like that.

Be a gas station attendant.

Better than what I got now, which is nothing.

That's good news.

When would you start?

As soon as she gets the stuff for me,

I'm just waiting on her.

I'm ready to start anytime.

I need money, mm hmm.

Take care of the baby and get a house.

Yeah.

What we really need

is the baby to have a house, a good house.

Feels good, everybody congratulating me on it

and stuff, so far.

But like I said I don't know until it comes out

and I get to feel it, I get to feel what it's like

to actually make another person.

It sounds funny to say it like that but that's the truth;

you get to make another person to go live their life.

It'll be pretty cool.

Are you nervous?

Yeah, I'm nervous, very nervous.

I don't know where it's gonna be,

when it's gonna happen, what's gonna happen.

I've been waiting nine months

and then it's all gonna happen in, like, a couple hours.

That's a good way to put it.

How is your...

Are you married?

Not yet, we haven't got married yet,

but I plan on getting married at the beginning of the month.

'Cause I think it's only five dollars

if you go to classes and you get a priest or whatever

to give you these classes

and tell you about how marriage is and stuff.

Then you don't have to spend so much money doing it.

You just spend a couple dollars

and then you go sign your stuff and you're married,

you're good to go.

That's what I'm gonna do,

'cause I don't have that much money.

Everybody I talk to says, yeah,

we had problems when we first got together,

so I think about that and I'm like yeah,

maybe that'll be me, ha ha.

But it will get better.

It can't always be bad.

No, it can't.

Things get better, for sure.

They do.

Here we go.

You're doing great.

Feels good.

You're doing very good, very good, George.

Feels good to walk.

Gotta do the walking.

You see that?

You see the butterfly?

Another time I was really depressed.

At the time I was diagnosed

with chronic depression and chronic anxiety.

'Cause I was homeless at the time,

I was living underneath bridges in three feet of snow

outside still living underneath a bridge covered up

and bundled in blankets and coats

and five layers of clothes.

I had taken too many of my pills,

my depression and anxiety pills,

and on the way to the hospital,

from being rushed to the hospital,

I flatlined and they brought me back.

And then I got to the hospital and it happened again.

I flatlined again.

They were able to bring me back and keep me stable.

The doctors said it's miraculous

that I don't have any sort of damage from it,

'cause I guess they say people usually flatline more than once

they usually come out with some sort of temporary

or even permanent damage to motor skills.

And I managed to come out okay.

When I was in the Klan,

I chased five black dudes

around a parking lot in Springfield,

and they gave me three years for ethnic intimidation,

making racial slurs.

I was the first person ever charged

with it in the state of Missouri.

When I went to court, the KKK was out there in their capes

protesting my case around the front of the building,

and on the other side there was the NAACP.

NAACP,

they're not right.

That's the most prejudiced and hate group there is.

Instead of coming to find out what the deal was,

they jumped right on the black guy's side against me.

That's why the KKK was there protesting for me.

Everybody knows everybody.

You just get to a point where you're like,

this is how I'm going to be.

You just stay, you get stuck in it.

You just don't wanna think about bettering yourself

'cause it's so hard to get to be on a normal level.

And then exceeding past that is extra hard,

so, you just stay.

That's why everybody goes here, to the trailer park,

'cause everybody's got felonies and stuff

and apartment complexes won't take a felon.

It's hard to get a job having a felony,

so everybody gets on Social Security and comes out here,

550 a month.

Or they live with their parents, like I do.

You tell yourself I'm not gonna live that life no more,

that's not who I want to be and you go for it.

That's what I need to do but it's tough.

Laziness, I guess you'd call it.

You just have to break the cycle some way or another

or win the lottery.

So what is the secret for 73 years of happy marriage?

I guess a lot of people ask you that question, right?

He and I felt never go to bed

at night angry with each other.

That's beautiful.

Always go to bed feeling very good toward each other.

And you wake up the next morning,

you're still feeling good towards each other.

That's beautiful.

Forgiveness.

Forgiveness.

We never ever had anything to forgive,

- we didn't do anything... - You didn't have

to forgive anything.

To forgive each other.

We sure didn't.

Hold that for me.

Dada.

It made me angry.

It made me feel guilty and ashamed.

That really influenced my life a lot.

They were my friends; I went over to their house.

They saw me and told me to come in, and next thing I knew,

I was on the couch.

First there were three, and then the next time it happened,

I don't even remember how many there were.

But I blamed myself because I would go back.

Thought I asked for it but I didn't.

So yeah, I was lonely.

'Cause my dad was gone and he was my world.

And I wanted approval, male approval.

I didn't realize it at the time,

but that's why I was doing that.

God bless you.

As I say, I'm not here to scold or judge

just here to listen and understand.

What I see here is reality.

I hear you talking, I see your face,

I see your outsides, that's real.

Those are real.

And I see also how difficult it must be for you to survive.

That would be something, to get just a letter.

I just wanna know, she could write me a bad letter,

she could write me going down the road.

That way I can go about my business

and I don't have to worry,

I don't have to be stuck in this rut.

I can just start living my life.

We was having conversations,

we was getting married, supposed to be getting married.

And then, something in a person's life changes.

You gotta stick with it, you gotta be along for the ride.

What's that saying called, through thick and thin.

I don't know if she moved on.

Hopefully I'll get a letter.

- When I was playing on the basketball team,

I was sitting on the sidelines

and I was telling my coach that I was introducing him

'cause I was pointing out my mother.

And I was telling him that she is my mother.

And he was saying that there was no way

that she could be my mother

because her skin was darker.

And I was saying, it doesn't matter that her skin is darker,

she could still be my mother,

because he was saying her skin is darker, my skin is lighter

so there's no way she could be my mother.

But I was saying she could still be my mother

'cause some people can have black kids

and they be white and it be their kid.

'Cause the husband could be black and the mom

could be white, and the kids could take after their dad.

Exactly.

And, and, do you think God has forgiven you?

Yeah, 'cause if he didn't, I'd be dead now.

I'm here for a reason.

I think it's so that the people

that are close to me and around me,

see the light path that I went down

and what it's done for me, and I hope it changes them too.

Yeah, I'm here for a reason.

My wife will tell you the same thing.

I should have been dead years ago.

It's just really hard; they ask about her everyday

and point to her picture, and ask where she is.

They don't understand that she's not here.

They just know that she's not physically here,

they just don't get that she'll never be back or,

you know, she's not on a vacation

or she's not with a family friend.

And I dread the day that my son grows up and wonders,

'cause I don't know how to explain that to him.

I don't know how to tell him that.

And I don't want anyone else to.

I had to do what I had to do for my family to survive.

I'll never get those two years back with them,

but he knows that I did what I had to do

in order for them to survive.

I found out a couple months ago

that my nephew was shot and killed back home.

Nobody knows what it was for.

Two guys kicked his door in.

He was sleeping, he got out of bed,

wrestling around with them.

One of the guys pulled out a gun

and shot him twice in the chest.

He was 20 years old.

I don't know if they ever found them,

but it'll all catch up to them eventually.

And when they do, like I said, I pray for them.

I don't know man.

♪ Making every kind of silence, takes a lot to realize ♪

♪ It's worse to finish ♪

♪ Than to start all over and never let it lie ♪

♪ And as long as I can feel you holding on ♪

♪ I won't fall, even if you said I was wrong ♪

♪ I'm not perfect, but I keep trying ♪

♪ 'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start ♪

♪ I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave ♪

♪ Was it something I said or just my personality ♪

♪ When you're caught in a lie ♪

♪ And you've got nothing to hide ♪

♪ When you've got nowhere to run ♪

♪ And you've got nothing inside ♪

♪ It tears right through me ♪

♪ You thought that you knew me, you thought that you knew ♪

Anyway, as I told you before,

I'm not here to condemn or judge, I'm just here to listen.

I think I have to go.

Where do I put this?

Put it on the floor and stomp it out,

that's what they did to me.

Put me on the floor and stomped me out.

Just that easy.

I won't do that, I won't do that.

It's been great talking to you, thank you.

A priest.

This is the gospel of the Lord.

Now let us pray as Christ the Lord has taught us.