Original subtitles

[GROWLS AND BARKS]

[DOG BARKING]

[SIGHS]

[DOG BARKING]

[BARKS]

[FRUIT BATS CHITTER]

[DOG BARKS]

WOMAN: I've decided it's time to let you in on a secret.

We didn't plan to have another child.

This is our oops baby.

Accidental, unscripted, but not unwanted.

Not by me, anyway.

We took a rare weekend away for a friend's 40th.

My mother minded the kids.

I drank too much, danced, made love in the morning,

and now there's a new small human joining our family.

Hail Caesar says if it's a girl,

we should call her Roulette.

Mummy, Lachie broke it!

Little snag with the bird project.

Broke it!

OK, never mind, Luce. It can be fixed.

Just leave it. I'll do it.

Hey, babe, go upstairs. Grab your bag, please.

Come here, mate.

Remember, today, don't feed the ducks Lego.

-[LACHIE LAUGHS] -OK? See you, dude.

-I gotta go. -Mmm-hmm.

-Wish me luck. -Luck, but you won't need it.

The network love you. See you tonight.

OK.

OK, let's do it!

Daddy's got a review today.

[COMPUTER CHIMES]

-OK, babe. -LUCY: Bye!

-JACK: Come on. -[FRONT DOOR CLOSES]

[SINISTER MUSIC SWELLS]

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[LACHIE CHATTERS]

Look. You're not watching the road.

Oh!

MEGHAN: Can you look left? Then right. Then left.

OK, on you pop.

Agatha!

I told you to put the... on the shelves,

not leave them on top of the freezer!

Sorry, Derek.

You'll have to deal with the tampons yourself.

I've got an appointment with my obstetrician.

Again?

-And I'm busting for the loo. -Again?

I'm eight months pregnant, Derek.

Can't help if it my bladder's the size of a walnut.

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

WOMAN: Charming.

MEGHAN: What can I do about it?

WOMAN: You're already doing it.

MEGHAN: Blocking him isn't working.

He just creates another account.

Sends GIFs and vile comments.

Look, my legal advice is just ignore the trolls.

Don't engage, or you'll only feed their ego.

OK.

Where are our kids? Any recent sightings?

Oh, there's Ruby.

[SINISTER MUSIC BUILDS]

Lachie?

[SINISTER MUSIC SWELLS]

-Lachie? -LACHIE: Mummy.

Oh! There you are, monkey!

What have you got there, huh?

Who gave you that?

A lady.

RUBY: Come on, let's go and play!

♪ I just can't get you out of my head

♪ Oh, your loving is all I think about

♪ I just can't get you out of my head

♪ Oh, it's more than I dare to think about

♪ Set me free

♪ Oh, la, la

♪ La, la, la, la, la

♪ La, la, la

♪ La, la, la, la, la

[WOLF-WHISTLES]

AGGIE: Drop dead, Dave.

[LAUGHS]

[PHONE RINGS]

MAN: [VOICEMAIL] Aggie, I can't get hold of you.

Are we meeting tomorrow?

Call me.

WOMAN: [VOICEMAIL] Hello, Agatha?

Please don't be angry with me for calling.

I know it's a special date tomorrow...

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Oh! Oh, smells so good!

Am I allowed to stay for the adults dinner?

No, no, no, I need some Jack time.

He's got his sports show to do.

It's pre-recorded. He's gonna be home very soon.

Well, isn't it Jack time

that got you into this mess in the first place?

And he hasn't touched me since.

What? The whole time you've been pregnant?

God, men are so weird.

I think he's developed

a strange aversion to sleeping with me

while I'm carrying his child,

like I'm a virginal Madonna figure.

I repeat, men are so weird.

Maybe he thinks I just got too fat.

You need to get yourself a battery-operated boyfriend.

Well, it's not so easy to reach around all of this.

Anyway, it's not about the sex.

We need to find our intimacy again.

[PHONE CHIMES]

Oh... Hmm.

-I have a Tinder date. -Oh!

So, if you're not going to feed me, I'm going.

OK, but don't be late for Reg's birthday thing.

I can't handle Mum having a breakdown on...

GRACE: Bye! Love you!

Please don't be late, Grace!

-Please! -[DOOR CLOSES]

Hi, Aggie!

You are so clever.

I could just eat you up.

-No, you can't! -Why not?

[LAUGHS] 'Cause I'm a boy.

But boys are yummy. [LAUGHS]

-Hey, don't tell your mum. -OK.

Oh, Aggie, are you still good to mind Leo on Tuesday?

-Sure. -Thanks.

Any word from sailor boy?

They're letting him call me on Sunday night.

-Finally! -[AGGIE LAUGHS]

Oh, my God, can you imagine his face when he sees you?

I know, right?

Where are you off to?

To see my friends.

[TRAIN RATTLES]

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[INDISTINCT PA ANNOUNCEMENT]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[SIGHS]

MEGHAN: Your show finished hours ago.

Oh, um... Arnie asked me for a drink

after my work review, so...

You didn't...

You didn't tell me you were gonna make something special.

I just assumed you'd be home.

[TAP TURNS ON AND OFF]

It's not like we get many Friday nights together.

Um, babe, I'm... I'm not gonna get a pay rise.

So, took the opportunity

to ask him if I could pitch a new show.

If they're not gonna give me more money, then...

I don't know.

I need a fucking miracle.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry about dinner.

Mmm. It's good.

No, it's not good.

It's cold and dry, like me right now.

Oh, you're not cold and dry.

-Yes, I am. -No, you're hot.

-JACK: Honey. -Mmm? Yep? Yep?

I'm shattered.

What?

I got swim school in the morning.

No!

-No! -Yeah.

-You're not going to bed. -Yeah.

Isn't there someone you'd like to spend

some quality time with?

Who?

Me!

[LAUGHS]

MEGHAN: How many other women are pregnant with your baby?

[LAUGHS]

[DOG BARKING]

[DOG BARKS AND WHINES]

[DOG BARKING]

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[DOG BARKING]

[SINISTER MUSIC SWELLS]

[DOG BARKING]

[BARKS]

[CHILDREN LAUGH]

Alright, you two, upstairs. Come on, grab your kickboards.

One! Two! Three! Four! Go!

[CHILDREN LAUGH]

Did you hear next-door's dog going off again last night?

Yeah.

I don't know what's setting it off,

but it seems to be doing it more and more.

-[PHONE RINGS] -Who's that?

Simon. [LAUGHS]

Mate, I'm stoked you're coming back.

They got me covering the World Cup this year.

You should come with me.

Oh, you should come round to ours for lunch.

Jack!

Yeah, that sounds good. Alright, we'll see you then.

Hooroo.

-Jack! -What?

Well, he's been in Melbourne for six months.

Of course I'm gonna invite him round.

He wants to see his godchild.

Is that why you were late last night?

'Cause Simon's back?

No, I was with Arnie. I told you that.

Why? What's... What's the drama?

The drama is

it's my stepfather's birthday tomorrow.

That's enough for one weekend.

Oh, it's only Simon.

Kids are gonna want to eat after a swim,

and I'll grab a chook.

You chuck a salad together. Too easy.

Come on, kids!

[CHILDREN LAUGH]

LUCY: Lachie!

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

-Careful. The floor's wet. -Oh!

When are you due?

-Early June. -Same.

Oh! What date?

June 6. D-Day.

Mmm. Boy or girl?

Do you know what you're having? Sorry. You first.

-Boy. -Me too.

Do you have any other kids?

-Yeah, two. -Wow!

-Good luck. -You too.

-I'm Meghan, by the way. -Aggie.

-It's nice to meet you, Aggie. -Nice to meet you.

June 6.

Baby boy.

-Hey, hup! Hey, hup! Hup! Hup! -Hello.

-Hey! There you are! -[CHILDREN LAUGH]

Hello.

[LACHIE LAUGHS]

Hey, should we go and pick some lemons

-off our tree for Uncle Simon? -Yeah!

What, you're home-growing lemons?

That's so hipster!

JACK: Grab yourself a drink, mate.

I'll get it. What do you want?

Whatever's going.

-There's a white open. -Yep, yep, yep.

[POP MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY]

I can't wait to be cool godfather,

supplying alcohol to all of Lucy's teenage friends.

It was a mistake, making you godfather.

Thank you.

Hey, uh, I've been keeping up with your Insta posts.

Really?

Mmm.

You're not exactly my audience.

I'm an interested party.

-When are you due? -Terrifyingly soon.

Yeah! [LAUGHS]

I picked the best ones!

SIMON: Oh, these are perfect...

[SNIFFS] ...for drinks.

LUCY: Lemonade!

No, no, tequila... Tequila? Jack.

Mini bar. Lick, sip, suck.

MEGHAN: No... No, don't... don't teach them that!

Lucy? Lucy, drinking is not cool.

Go... Go wash your hands. Stop.

-OK, Mummy. Let's go, Lachie. -MEGHAN: Thank you.

So, was it you who encouraged Jack to try

and pitch his show to Arnie?

I mean, it's a no-brainer.

If he doesn't pitch it soon, I'm gonna do it myself,

and I'm gonna take the credit.

He knows you wouldn't.

-No, I would. -Yeah, he would.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Nicky?

What are you doing here?

You didn't answer my calls.

We said we'd always meet today. I thought...

Things are different this year.

I can see that.

I was afraid you'd be upset. Didn't know how to tell you.

Your mother didn't mention it when she called me.

I didn't want to tell her till after the baby's born.

So, please don't mention it if you speak to her again.

Don't you think your mum deserves to know

she's about to be a grandma?

The truth is, I didn't want to tell anyone,

after last time.

We named her, our little girl.

We lost her at 32 weeks, Nicky.

Until this baby's here, it doesn't feel real.

I still think about her too.

-So, how did you do it? -Do what?

Get pregnant.

Let's not go there.

You won the lottery.

If you wanna put it that way.

Well, no, that's what he said, wasn't it, the specialist?

He said it'd be like winning the lottery.

He also said sometimes these things happen

when you stop IVF.

Sometimes that's how it works.

Yes. It does.

So, who's the lucky father?

Donor.

You're doing it all alone?

You know how much I wanted this.

And I've never felt less alone.

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

I'm having another baby soon...

...but it doesn't mean I love you any less.

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Hup, hup, hup.

Since when do you play tennis on a Sunday morning, anyway?

Since Simon suggested it.

Yeah, well, Mum timed everything down to the wire

and now we're late.

They will give me hell and not you.

Oh, stop being a drama queen.

-Fuck you! -[LAUGHS] Oh, lovely.

You force me to be on time and then you're late?

Yeah, I know. Sorry. How's Reg?

Oh, he's brilliant, talking about profit shares

-and margins. -Oh, good.

Oh, that looks inventive.

Hey, say happy birthday to Pop.

-Happy birthday, Pop! -Hello! Hello!

MEGHAN: Lachie... Sorry, Reg. Happy birthday.

Thank you.

Well, I suppose being pregnant

is as good an excuse as any for running late.

My fault. Many happy returns, mate.

Thank you very much.

Dad, have you changed the wi-fi password again?

-No. -Oh, hey.

Ahh! The young prince emerges from sleep

just in time for lunch.

My favourite ugly stepsister.

Oh, hey, 90,000 followers. Look at you! Cha-ching!

Meghan, what am I meant to do with the pomegranate?

[MEN LAUGH]

I don't understand. Why wouldn't Jack be given

a pay rise?

Because his job hasn't changed.

There's no way for him to move up the ladder.

Oh, he never seems to get the breaks, does he?

Yeah, well, he works very hard.

Don't get me wrong. I just think it's a shame

that he's not in a business that's more lucrative.

Well, not everyone marries for money, Mum.

-Mum? -Mmm?

Tell Meghan she has to have a baby shower. She's refusing.

It's her third.

You don't have a baby shower after your first.

Thank you.

So, this is where my issues come from.

The unwanted child of a failing marriage,

never had my own...

Can we not do this right now, Grace?

OK, no, you're right. Meghan doesn't wanna

talk about it, everyone...

You know what? Just stop!

OK, I'm sorry! You know that I'm relentless.

Meghan, I didn't mean to upset you.

MEGHAN: It's not you.

[SIGHS] It's Jack.

What, the please-have-sex- with-me roast didn't work?

Still treating you like the Virgin Mary?

It's having another baby that he's not dealing with.

You're kidding!

Well, three is a lot.

I just hope that when the baby is born,

he gets on board and is happy.

Well, he's the one who knocked you up.

Don't say anything to Jack.

Meat is cooked,

and happily, the Dow Jones Average is on the rise.

Cool, Jack!

JACK: Hmm?

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[INCOMING VIDEO CALL ALERT]

Hayden! Can you see me?

What's this about you being pregnant?

It's wonderful, isn't it?

Well, how did it happen?

Well, you must know that, silly.

Is it mine?

Of course it is!

I've been at sea for seven months.

I'm eight months pregnant.

We were going at it like rabbits when you were here.

Yeah, and you said you were on the pill.

I also asked you to use a condom

because I missed a few days.

You said you didn't like them.

What do you want me to do?

Well, I'm not expecting you to marry me or anything.

Then why tell me at all?

Because I thought you should know!

Look, if you don't want

anything to do with me, that's fine,

but this is as much your baby as it is mine.

I don't want a baby.

It's a bit late for that now.

This is happening.

Look, I know you think I'm springing this on you,

but you wanted a break and I couldn't reach you.

Uh, we weren't on a break! We broke up!

You were snooping on my phone, for fuck's sake.

OK, OK, I know I was dumb to check your texts,

but... but think about it. I was pregnant then.

My hormones were all over the shop.

-Oh, yeah? That's your excuse?-It's the truth.

[FIST THUDS INTO LOCKER]

I can't handle this.

We can talk when you get home.

No! You stay away from me.

Please, Hayden! What about the baby?

You should have got rid of it.

No!

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Stupid! Ugly!

-Are they asleep? -Yeah.

What's the matter?

You told your sister that I don't want a third child.

That's because you don't, Jack. Admit it.

We were almost out of the woods.

Well, it's not exactly like I planned it.

OK,

but you promised you'd go back to work when Lachie was two,

and you didn't do that.

And now, what, we gotta wait another two years?

Is that all it's about for you?

All it's about?

Do you realise how fucked we are,

financially, right now?

OK, but you're the one who insisted that we move here.

I was perfectly happy where we were...

Because you said you were gonna go back to work!

I based everything on that!

How long do you think I can shoulder all this?

Well, my blog earned $600 last month.

$530.

OK. Fine, Jack. That's fine. Why don't we just sell, then?

We can't afford to,

because I already spoke to the agent that sold us this place.

We bought at the top of the market.

She said if we did that, we'll lose.

I can't see a way out of this.

Do you wish that something bad would happen

to me and the baby?

What?

What are you talking about?

People do wish those things sometimes,

about their partners.

Of course not!

No. No, I don't.

OK?

But you did say you wished you never married me.

Can we not do that again, please?

[SCOFFS]

Hey. You know I didn't mean that.

And you weren't even pregnant then.

It was nothing to do with the baby.

Work, pressure, stress, everything just got to me.

[GENTLE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

We'll work it out.

Come here.

[SOBS]

It's OK.

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[INSECTS CHIRP]

-Mrs Cole? -Yes?

AGGIE: This is so hard.

I didn't want to bother you,

but Hayden's given me no choice.

I tried to talk to him, but he... he...

Are you having Hayden's baby?

Jez, get the tissues.

Sorry! I'm so sorry!

Oh, no... Oh, my goodness! No, don't upset yourself.

[GLASS TINKLES]

JEZ: Here.

Hayden said he didn't want to have anything to do with

me or the baby.

He said I should have had an abortion.

-[GROWLS] -He didn't!

-That's not our way. -AGGIE: It's OK. I'm OK.

You're so kind!

Do you have any family here?

My mum. She's my rock.

Did you and your mum come to Australia together?

Yeah, when I was 14. My stepfather was Australian.

Oh.

Mum lives in Katoomba.

I'm going up there to have the baby.

I was hoping Hayden would be there, but...

RENEE: Look, Hayden's still got a bit of growing up to do,

but he's a good boy.

He'll do the right thing by you.

In the meantime, is there anything that you need?

Aggie?

Well, I have been sick and missed a few shifts at work.

-My rent's due and... -How much do you owe?

You don't have to, really.

Back in a tick.

And don't you worry about Hayden.

I'll sort him out.

AGGIE: Thank you so much.

RENEE: Take care, dear.

-Bye. -Bye-bye.

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

MEGHAN: Is three children too many?

For my first two babies,

Hail Caesar couldn't get the nursery ready fast enough.

I have been asking him to hang a mobile over the cot

since week 13.

It's funny...

[INCOMING VIDEO CALL ALERT]

Uh... So, I talked to my folks.

And they made me realise that I said the wrong things.

I'm sorry.

It's OK.

I accept I'm probably the father.

You are.

And I respect your decision to keep it.

Thank you.

But I'm not gonna marry you.

I didn't ask you to marry me.

I didn't ask you for anything.

Look, I know you're still getting used to the idea,

but you're gonna be a great dad.

Pretty big bump, eh?

You should see my rock star boobs.

Shame I'm not there to play with them.

Cheeky.

They were always pretty big.

Do you fancy a peek?

Uh... someone might come in.

[GENTLE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[SIGHS]

My nipples are extra sensitive.

Makes me really hot.

I'm not wearing any knickers.

[LAUGHS]

Are you touching yourself?

Aggie, you know I've been at sea for seven months.

I wish you were here.

I'd let you fuck another baby into me.

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

I want you to fill me up.

[FOOTSTEPS THUD]

I want it really, really hard.

[BREATHES HEAVILY]

Talk to you soon, lover.

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[PHONE CHIMES]

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[DOG BARKS]

MEGHAN: Jack?

[DOG BARKS]

Hello?

[THUDDING]

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[GASPS] Oh, shit, Jack!

Oh, my God! You almost broke my waters.

Sorry. I'm sorry.

I thought you were upstairs working.

I was, but then the dog was barking.

-Hi. -Hi!

Oh, thank you. They're... beautiful.

-That's not all. -No?

Voila! A bird bath.

-Oh, my God. -Come and have a look,

-come on. -You are hilarious.

JACK: Come and have a look at this thing!

This thing's gonna be a bird magnet,

or some might say a chick magnet,

but check it out.

-I saw you fixed the feeder. -Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Well, if you're really sorry,

you can hang the mobile for me.

-Copy. -No, it's lovely. Thank you.

-Right? -Mmm.

What brought this on?

I'm sorry, I... I've been a real shit lately.

You're right, so...

And I did a full pitch of the new show today to Arnie.

He loved it.

Great!

So, now he is setting up a meeting

to pitch it to the network.

So, I've come home early to have sex with my wife.

Oh!

Well, that, I do like the sound of.

Three's not a lot.

If we were rich, we could have 20 kids...

but I'm gonna love this baby.

OK?

Mmm.

-OK? -OK.

OK.

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

Hello. Sorry I'm late. I'm Agatha.

RHEA: No problem!

This way.

Three bedrooms, two baths.

Close to the train line, schools, shops.

My fiance is in the navy. He wants three.

Friends of ours live next door that way.

So, we thought it would be nice

for the kids to grow up together.

Oh, do you mean Jack and Meghan?

Well, I sold them the house last year.

Jack drove a hard bargain.

This house has a similar layout, as you'd know.

Yeah.

I believe they made a nursery in the study upstairs,

which you could do here too

if you and your fiance have any more children.

Alright, what would you like to eat?

Is that one of your favourites? Oh, yes!

Sorry, I need to close up now. I'm meeting another client.

Sure.

LACHIE: Now let's get some mint.

Some mint!

Agatha, I asked you to finish off the pricing!

And double check.

Last time you priced the tuna four cents cheap.

Agatha, are you listening to me?

-[SINISTER MUSIC BUILDS] -MAN: Get down!

Get down on the floor!

No-one touch your phones!

We don't want any trouble.

Put the cash... put the cash into a bag!

I fucking said get down on the floor! Are you deaf?

I'm pregnant.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS]

What are you doing? Give me the money!

It won't open until I scan something.

Don't fuck with me or I will cut you all open!

I'm trying to help you.

[BARCODE SCANNER BEEPS]

-OK, back off, bitch! -AGGIE: Oh!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES]

Give me the cash! Come on!

Next time I'll shoot!

You dickless fucking wonder!

[CRIES AND LAUGHS]

DEREK: I did everything to protect my staff.

I've got a pregnant girl working here.

How you doing, honey?

I'm fine.

Yeah, well, we're just gonna pop you in the car

and take you to the hospital for a medical check.

Honestly, I just wanna go home and rest.

Shock can cause complications.

No, really. I'm OK.

WOMAN: Did he appear to be under the influence of drugs?

Well, you should at least have the day off tomorrow.

I'll get you a car to take you home.

You right to go? Come on.

[VOICES MURMUR]

Come on, let's get home.

Thanks.

-What happened? -AGGIE: We were robbed.

What?

I was praying that dickhead,

Derek, would pull his gun on the prick

so he'd lie on the floor instead of us.

Probably for the best. No-one got hurt?

No.

Oh!

And don't worry about minding Leo...

No, it's fine. He's no problem.

-Really? -Yeah.

Oh, thanks.

AGGIE: Hey. [CHUCKLES]

[BOTH LAUGH]

-Do you want some sauce? -Mmm-hmm.

You're bleeding.

Hmm?

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

It's OK. It's nothing.

Eat your dinner. I'll be right back.

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

[SOBS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLS]

[HAUNTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]