Original subtitles

[Kyle] Yeah, this is Kyle.

Oh, hi.

I-I just thought--

- [Sackson] Sting? - [Kyle] Wait, what?

What's Sting?

Sting is the Grammy-winning artist

our guests won VIP tickets to see

after this pre-show luau.

Anyway, just keep the booze and food flowing

till they board the bus to the show,

should be golden.

The watchword is "chill."

[Ron] Chill, yes, of course.

Well, Chill B. Chillington is the name,

and chilling's the g--[groans]

"What's Sting?" Seventeen Grammys is what.

What the hell is wrong with you?

[laughs]

- You know about Sting? - [Lucy] Hmm?

- What's that? - Ah, fucking kids.

Sting! The Police!

[horn honks]

[Lucy] Oh, my God.

- Not the handicap spot. - What a dick move. Roman!

[Roman] I'm allowed to park here.

I have a placard.

Carpal tunnel is a serious disability.

I'm in pain every once in a while.

- [Kyle sighs] - [Roman] It's no joke.

Was that about your callback?

Well, I hoped it might be, but it was just some lady.

Apparently, my car warranty's expired.

Man, I killed every audition.

I don't get what happened.

Clearly, they didn't get what you were doing.

So fuck them.

You do not need their approval.

I do. That's what auditions are.

Man, what if I never act again?

No.

Too easy.

[Henry] So Malibu.

- Malibu. - It's pretty groovy, right?

Very. You sure it's okay for me to tag along like this?

[Henry] Yeah, it's just a bunch of dudes

hanging before a Sting show.

- [Evie] Hmm. - Watchword is "chill."

- [Evie] Mm-hmm. - And if anyone asks,

- you're with us. - [Evie] Oh, yeah.

Like, you're you, but I'm a consultant

analyzing your paper product use cost flow.

Yeah, or you're just with us.

- Okay. - Hey, did you, uh--

did you bring the-the stuff?

Oh, you mean did I bring the mushrooms?

I still can't get over you used to do this kind of thing.

I was cool once.

You know that thing where you get those

cool psychedelic insights into your life?

- Sure. - I was great at that.

And some say... that I remain cool.

- Holy shit. - [Evie] Right?

Oh, they look like high-quality mushrooms, I think.

No, I mean "holy shit" as in,

that is a comically large amount of mushrooms.

I haven't done it for a while.

I forgot how much you need for two.

- Two blue whales? - Okay.

Oh, shit, are those mushrooms?

I would love to access

some expanded creative consciousness today.

- [Evie] Oh. - [Kyle] Dude. Mushrooms?

Why are you down there?

Oh, I'm just dealing with some heavy shit.

His car warranty ran out.

[upbeat jazzy music plays]

♪ ♪

[Evie] Is there anyone here who doesn't want shrooms?

[Roman] Alter my brain chemistry with poison fungi?

- Pass. - Roman is scared. Shocker.

[Roman] I'm not scared; I just don't see the point

of going around giggling uncontrollably at shit.

The point is to unlock your creative unconscious.

[Roman] I don't need drugs to unlock

my creative unconscious.

[Kyle] 'Cause he doesn't use it.

When was the last time you wrote anything?

Like, what about your opus?

[Henry] He's been working on his opus

for, like, ten years.

Is that a long time for an opus?

It's half the amount of time

Michael Crichton worked on Sphere,

which isn't even an opus.

It's just Sphere.

I've tried to crack the story,

but now I'm just really focused on my vlog.

- Why? - [Roman] Car, money,

positive affirmation--

all things I don't get from writing?

That is the most bourgeois bullshit

I have ever heard in my entire life.

It's called reality, Lucy.

And even if I did finish it, no one wants it.

For a true artist, rejection is the truest affirmation.

Look at Kyle.

[Evie] So that's a no on shrooms?

- Come on, Roman. - [Kyle] You're scared.

[Evie] Maybe he just needs a little love.

- [Kyle] He's a little scared. - Come on.

[all] Roman! Roman! Roman! Roman!

You guys are peer pressuring me into drugs.

That's right.

[all] Roman! Roman!

- Okay. - [all cheering]

[Sackson] What-what's, like, a good amount?

Is this, like, okay?

- For a first time? - [Sackson] Mm.

- Less than that. - Oh, no, no, no, no.

I want to see all the psychic realms

and the face of God and all that shit.

Oh, jeez, guy, you'll-you'll cleave your psyche in twain.

Hell yes, I am going to livestream my first trip.

Can you imagine the numbers if my psyche

cleaves in twain live?

- I would watch that. - Check it out.

Oh!

[Ron] Okay, guys, good news.

Constance dropped her iPad in her koi pond,

so no spiritual message.

Oh.

Guys, the food is for the guests, okay?

You know, if I wasn't so chill right now,

I'd give you all RDDs.

But, hey, Miss Adler?

What are you doing here?

I'm a consultant, uh, for the paper.

For the paper company. Paper goods.

No, you're not.

She's with us.

- [indistinct chatter] - ["Reminiscing" playing]

[Ron chuckles] Stick around, all right?

[person] Let's get another one!

- Cheers! - Cheers!

No negative energy.

[Sacker] Yes.

All right, all right, okay.

Okay, who's having a good time?

[crowd cheering]

- Enjoy. - I think I felt something.

Do you feel anything?

Yeah, stupid for doing this.

[Sacker] All right, and who is psyched

for VIP seating to see the legendary Sting?

- [crowd cheering] - Whoo! Sting, baby!

[laughs] You psyched for Sting?

- I don't know who I am. - Oh, no.

[Sacker] All right, okay, okay.

So I want everybody to eat, drink, and have a good time

until it's time to get on that bus.

And remember, the watchword for the day is "chill."

[all] Chill!

- Yes! - Chill, yeah, well,

Chill B. Chillington's the name, and sh--

oh, she's fucking gone again.

[Little River Band] ♪ I'm talking about ♪

♪ A lifetime plan... ♪

Oof.

Wow.

Uh, one mai tai.

- Beautiful. - Isn't it?

It's like a Maui sunset.

- [chuckles] - I guess.

- Oh. - [Evie] Henry?

The watchword is "chill," like you said.

So weird.

Yeah, the radio people told us earlier

the watchword is "chill."

Oh, shoot, I thought it was "synchronicity."

The album by The Police, featuring bass and vocals by...

[both] Sting.

See, now, was that synchronicity?

I don't actually know what the word means.

- Do you? - No, no, no, no, I don't know.

- Hey. - Hi.

So a bird just looked at me a certain way.

- Bird? - [Sackson] Bird.

[Evie] Bird.

I think it's happening.

I'm gonna start the stream.

- [Henry chuckles] - [phone beeps]

[Sackson] Hey, everybody.

[both] Hey.

Who's down for some Sacks on the beach?

[laughs]

[Sackson] All right, everybody, buckle up,

'cause today ole Sacks is embarking

on his first psychedelic odyssey.

- Let's talk about fingers. - Bye.

[Sackson] They're just these...

I should maybe keep an eye on him,

like, in case he goes into a weird place.

Yeah, like a lizard store.

Or an emotional place.

You cool here if I ramble a little?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got a shirt going.

Oh. Hey.

[Henry chuckles]

Oh, you're--

this is the front of you.

You need--uh, all right.

[singer] ♪ I can't believe it ♪

♪ Can't believe it... ♪

[both grunting]

[singer] ♪ What I feel Looking in your eyes ♪

♪ ♪

♪ There's no need For any disguise... ♪

What do you got going on here?

Sh-shrimp, shrimp is going on here.

[singer] ♪ Can't believe it... ♪

[Roman] Uh...

[person] Hey there.

Thank you.

[singer] ♪ I'm in love with you ♪

[Roman] Uh...

[singer] ♪ Better believe it ♪

[upbeat music playing]

So what was it like?

What?

When you quit acting.

What was it like?

[Jeff] Beer.

Rough, actually.

- Yeah. - But kind of a relief.

A relief?

Like, I'd been in this weird limbo

for so long.

A limbo. Like, who am I?

Yeah, like a formless limbo.

- Yeah, I've been there. - You were an actor?

[Jeff] No, no, no, sorry.

Thought you were talking about divorce.

- Oh. - [Jeff] Formless limbo,

who am I, finally moving on--

- that was my divorce. - [Kyle] Huh.

[Jeff] You know, all I ever wanted to be

was a good husband, good dad.

- Right. - [Jeff] That's who I was,

all I ever wanted to be.

So when that went away, well...

- Kyle, I need to talk to you. - ...talk about limbo...

Not now, man.

Hey, so how did--how did you deal with that? Stop.

[Jeff] Well, that's the question, isn't it?

You know, I just been figuring it out

in bits and pieces, you know,

- day by day. - I gotta talk to you, Kyle.

[Kyle] Dude, I'm talking to this guy.

Jeff. Go do what you need to.

- I'm gonna hit the head. - Kyle.

Yeah, we'll talk later, man. Dude, what the fuck?

I was talking to Jeff.

What are you, freaking out or something?

[Roman] No, I'm fine.

Just, pe-people are looking at me.

- Oh. - [Henry chuckles]

- Okay, all right. - [Roman] There's just something

weird and off about this whole party.

[laughter]

It's--you're just a little paranoid, that's all.

It's a first-timer classic thing.

- Relax. - I'm not paranoid.

[laughter]

There's just people who are weird, and...

they're looking at me a certain way.

- Oh. - [laughter]

Okay, fine, be dicks about it.

[laughter]

So much for so-called drugs camaraderie.

- Drug what? - Oh, no,

- that's not a thing, man. - [laughs]

- [Henry] Aw, Roman! - [Kyle] Come on, man.

[meditative throat singing playing over speaker]

[Ron] Ooh, okay, how we doing?

I need more mini tacos and shrimp things

because they're going like--

♪ ♪

What the hell are you listening to?

It helps me think differently.

- Right. - [music stops]

So, uh, how we doing?

Okay, I need more, uh--what?

[sighs] What is that?

It is something I'm working on.

For a laid-back luau,

I wanted to try a fun crowd-pleaser.

Right.

- What is it? - [Lucy] It is called...

...spanashe.

Oh, what is that, Italian?

It's made up. [chuckles]

- What is it? - Try it.

[sighs]

Mm, well, that's-that's, um--

Well, it tastes like something.

- [Lucy] Mm-hmm. - Huh. It's weird.

[laughter]

Is it even food?

Oh, my God, exactly!

Is it... food?

It is spiced wood pulp.

Paper, basically.

It's got the quality of food--

texture, flavor, shape--

but no nutritional value, so...

So it's not food.

Or is it?

- Is it? - You're eating it.

Is this a joke?

It's a fun conceptual piece, Ron.

- So it's not food. - Or is it?

God damn it. Wow.

[Lucy] It's to help open your mind

to see and think in new ways,

to collapse the traditional boundaries.

Well, I-- it's-it's an appetizer.

Are you high on weed?

[laughs] No.

I don't do drugs.

[Ron] Ha-ha. Here we go.

Spanashe.

Okay, so you can get free tickets, who's it gonna be?

- Probably Matchbox. - Nice.

- Blink. - Okay.

- Mm, Bizkit. - Mm-hmm.

You're a '90s kid. I could tell.

But I'm not saying no to Sting tickets.

Motherfucker has 17 Grammys, hello.

Mm-hmm. Oh, that's beautiful.

Yeah, it's like Big Bird... on fire.

Henry.

- There's a bush down there. - What?

No, it has a style all its own.

Cool.

Hey, um, this was a good idea.

- I know. - Yeah.

I can't believe I have to go in the office Monday

and pitch the fucking Douglas Firspin-off.

- Douglas Fir? - Douglas Fir.

Is it a man named Douglas who's part tree?

- Yes. - [laughs]

- No way. - Yes.

[laughs] Really?

Yes.

What's the spin-off of that?

Manputer.

Manputer?

It's a man who's also a computer.

[both] Manputer.

[laughter]

[Evie] Oh, my God.

[Henry] What?

- What? - When I was starting out,

I really thought that I was gonna make

important independent cinema.

[laughter]

I-I said, "Are we having fun yet?"

[laughter]

I was like, "I am gonna make

important independent cinema."

Me too.

God, you should have done it. You'd be great.

Oh, I tried. Hey, you did.

Then I didn't.

Yeah, you were too good at it,

so now you're doing Manputer.

Oh, no!

Yeah.

What if you were doing it?

What if you were Colonel Stryker?

What's that?

He's a colonel. He's a Mark Strong type.

He is a regular in the extended universe.

You could be him, and then you'd be back.

What do you think?

That sounds crazy.

Why do you say that?

'Cause we're on mushrooms.

- You're on mushrooms? - [both] No.

Hey, speaking of, how's Sackson?

Who? Shit.

He was there, and then I looked at a bush,

- and then he wasn't there! - Oh.

Oh, God, I lost Sackson.

Uh, you--isn't he doing a livestream?

Right!

He should be right here.

[Sackson] Oh, damn, so, uh,

current update,

I'm in a blue tube of consciousness.

He's in a blue tube of consciousness.

- What the fuck is that? - [Sackson] And I'm fully

unstuck in time, and I'm-I'm probably a bird.

- [both] Bird. - [Sackson] Let's take a look

at these numbers. Oh, they keep going up.

Oh, wait, I know where he is!

- Where? - Can you watch the bar, please?

- Can do, boss. - [Henry] Come on! Follow me!

[Evie] Okay.

[Edgar] Get out the good shit.

Thank you.

- [Kyle] Yo, dude! - [Henry] Hey!

[laughter, indistinct chatter]

[static crackling]

[Roman] Uh...

Right, the pink bow tie, he just made me.

Yup, with the long hair, glasses on.

[Roman] Oh, no.

- [Mattea] Excuse me. - What?

Hey, bud, can you come with us for a second?

[Roman] Uh...

[Mattea] Can you come this way, please?

Guys, I didn't--I'm not--

why is he holding me so tight?

[Mattea] He's a strong man, that's why, okay?

Just follow this man.

- Jazzed for Sting? [laughs] - Yep!

He gonna put on a show! [laughs]

Wait, the sponsors tent? [chuckles nervously]

Am I in trouble with the sponsors?

[Mattea] Nah, man, everything's chill.

I'm chill. You're chill, right?

Help, help.

[Mattea] Nope, this way, this way.

Just go right in. The tent is chill.

- [Roman] I'm listening. - Not temperature-wise.

Yeah, just keep walking, okay?

- Just be chill, okay? - [Roman] Okay.

- [Mattea] Sit. - I'm chill.

Sit!

[indistinct radio chatter]

- So this is the guy? - This the guy.

[Roman] I'm not the guy.

[Mattea] What do we got here, shrimp? Mm.

Tomato, basil, mozzarella.

"Tomato, basil, mozzarella." Fucking rabbit food.

So earlier, you were talking to a guy at the bar.

Dirty blond, beard.

Wannabe Kris Kristofferson looking piece of shit.

- Jeff? - Jeff Daniels.

- No relation. - To whom?

- The actor. - The what?

[Sacker] Jeff Daniels.

[Mattea] He's an American icon. Jeff Daniels.

Newsroom?

Squid and the Whale. Dumb & Dumber?

Dumb & Dumber?

Dumb & Dumber?

- Look, Roman. - How do you know my name?

I'm Lieutenant Sacker.

This isn't a luau. No one's won anything.

Every "prizewinner" is a deadbeat parent

with an outstanding child support warrant

who took the bait for free tickets.

But when they get on that bus,

they're not going to a Sting concert.

They're not?

They're going to a sting.

[laughs] Get it?

Yeah, great gag, Johnson.

Look, I talked to these guys, okay?

We would get a better response if we went more '90s.

Blink, Matchbox, okay?

There's a new generation of deadbeats

that have no connection to Sting at all.

Joe, we discussed this.

[Mattea] We're leaving mooks on the street

so that Johnson can have his dumb gag.

[Johnson] Dumb?

These dipshits getting on a bus

that literally says "sting" right on it,

- it's good, right? - [Mattea] It's fine.

It's a B-plus at best, Johnson!

[Sacker] We don't know--

You're not a comedian!

We don't know if we have the right Jeff Daniels,

so we need you to get us a current address

or ID his car so we can issue a warrant for search.

- Why me? - You made contact.

And you're sharp.

Those dildos don't suspect a thing, but you,

you made us immediately.

Zeroed in on me the second he saw me.

I did?

It was freaky.

[Roman] Look, I didn't even-- I had--

Kyle talked to him a lot longer.

Who, Ken doll dipshit?

Talk about out to lunch. No wonder the service sucks.

The deadbeat's got nothin' on these fucking cater waiters.

[Sacker] Well, what do you expect

from a bunch of unemployed actors?

You an actor?

- I'm a--I-- - You don't look like an actor.

- I'm not a-- - [Johnson] He could be

a character actor,

like, plays nerds or sad sacks.

[softly] Guy who looks up before the comet hits.

- [Johnson] What'd he say? - [Mattea] I'm sorry.

Say that again, Dan? [laughs]

[normally] Guy who looks up before the comet hits.

[laughter]

[Mattea] Nice, Dan!

Say it louder, though. Be proud.

No, I'm not a-- I'm a--I'm a--I have a vlog.

Issues and critiques on--

Issues and critiques, see?

I knew you weren't some artsy fruit loop.

[Roman] Uh-uh.

Hey, hey, thought I saw--

- Ron? - Ron!

No coming into the sponsor tent

when we're doing operation stuff!

Yeah, yeah, sure, uh, it's just,

I saw you bring him in, and I thought

maybe you needed me for something.

- You knew about this? - [Ron] Well, yeah, yeah.

I was sworn to secrecy.

You know, I was sort of made

special deputy for the day.

[laughs]

- [mimics guns twirling] - You're no special anything.

- Why don't you go? - Oh.

- And don't come back. - Unless you got some real food.

- Shrimp. - Chicken tacos, mini hot dogs.

- Real food. - Hot shrimp with pineapple.

[Ron] Hot shrimp, you got it.

Got it, okay, and then I'll be back.

I'll come right back with that.

- [Roman] Help, Ron! - [Sacker] Roman, listen.

Jeff Daniels, find him.

And if you say a word, there will be consequences.

You got it?

- [Henry] Sackson! - [Evie] Where is he?

See? Blue!

[Evie] Right, yes, right.

Okay, sponsors tent, of course.

- Yeah. - Genius.

- Sackson, are you okay? - [Johnson] Whoa!

Where do you think you're going?

- This is the sponsors tent. - No, no, no, no, it's okay.

We just need to check--

- Sponsors only. Get lost. - Okay, okay.

- [Evie] Okay. - Wow.

[Evie] Wow.

Whoa, that's some intense sponsors.

Yeah. [sighs] Look, blue!

Sackson!

Are you in there? It's us.

Sackson, are you okay?

[gasps]

Wait, you were just at the bar.

And then I came here, and now I'm heading back.

- [Evie sighs] - What?

How long did it take us to get here?

[Sackson yells]

Look, blue!

[Sackson screaming]

Look at him go.

- [Sackson screaming] - [person] What the hell?

[indistinct chatter]

[slow rock music playing over speakers]

[Kyle] I've been an actor since I got

Sky Masterson as a freshman.

- Cool. - [Kyle] It's who I was,

all I ever wanted to be.

And that is gone, and I'm like--

- Who am I? - Right?

- I've been there. - A husband and father.

All I ever wanted to be.

[Kyle sighs]

What's up, guys?

Yeah, but that's how I learned it's enough to be.

To be. Huh.

Yeah, I'm not a husband and father.

- You're not an actor. - No.

[Jeff] I mean, think of all the ways

we make ourselves suffer for the things

that we do or don't do.

Is a man what he does?

- No. - No.

He is... who he is.

[groans]

So basically, like, I... am?

- Yeah. - Oh!

[laughs]

- Yeah. - Yeah.

What the fuck are you guys talking about?

How it doesn't matter what you do.

It's more-- wait, how does it go?

You are what you are.

I am what I am.

Being is the essence of existence.

- Yeah. - The--uh, what?

If you don't get it, you don't get it.

But I get it, and, man... [chuckles]

...yeah.

[laughs]

[Roman laughs dryly]

Yeah, Jeff...

[clears throat] ...where you from?

Oh, here, there.

Mostly been ramblin'.

- Ramblin'. - Yeah, ramblin'.

You need a vehicle for that.

Sure do.

What's your ramblin' vehicle?

- Seventy-four Nova. - Baby.

Chevy Nova.

Loaner from my bro Dennis.

You know, gets me from here to there.

- [Kyle] Uh-huh. - Yeah.

Well, I am going to freshen up.

- Yeah. - Gentlemen.

[Kyle] Keep on a-ramblin'.

Fuckin' Jeff, man!

Oh, yeah.

He's full of shit.

[as Jeff] In time, you'll get it.

In time.

Get what?

[energetic music playing over speaker]

♪ ♪

Off.

[music stops]

- Okay, so, Lucy-- - Oh, Ron, how's it going?

Are people having fun with the spanashe?

Like, what's the reaction been?

It's been nothing. No one wants spanashe.

- No one? - No one, okay?

I just really need something good and normal.

No one at all?

Not, like, a single person has engaged with it?

Yeah, one guy looked at it and threw it away.

Has no one explained the concept?

It's an appetizer.

It's a brisk, enlightening experience.

I'm sure if they just understood--

Lucy, it's a luau before a Sting concert.

No one wants to think or see in new ways, okay?

And who-who-who would want this, okay?

What even is it?

- [plates clatter] - Exactly.

No! No, okay?

People just want to eat a thing!

- Okay. - Okay?

So, like, a spiced slurry of pig faces,

feet, and end parts, salted,

in a casing tube and fire roasted?

No, like hot dogs!

Hmm, now that looks nice.

Like a worrisome urine sample.

[groovy music playing over speakers]

- Anything? - I'm worried he fell in a hole.

[Henry] Or he left his phone in his pocket.

Wow, he's getting some crazy numbers.

I lost Sackson.

No, he's fine, I'm sure.

[Evie] Listen, it's not just him.

I thought it'd be cool and interesting

to go along on his trip, but then I got distracted

by a bush, and then he was gone,

and then I didn't even remember what I set out to do.

Yeah, I know. You told me the story.

No, it's not a story.

It's a metaphor.

For what?

- I'm me... - Yeah?

...and Sackson is my younger self,

and he's interested in new ideas

and cool world things.

Okay, and what is the bush?

The bush is money, or it's approval.

I was always a sucker for approval.

I don't have that worked out, but it distracted me.

- Yes. - And I forgot about Sackson.

And-and what's he again?

- Underwater? - He's my past life.

- Oh. - [Evie] But I don't realize

he's gone until it's too late.

He fell in the ocean?

Right, which would represent the endless sea

of superhero franchise IP stuff I'm stuck in.

Or the actual ocean.

No, he drowned?

Will you watch the bar, please?

I'm on it.

All right, you stinky A-holes,

Daddy's back at the bar!

You got a lighter?

I can do something really cool with a lighter.

[Ron] Whoo-hoo, here you go, the good stuff.

Okay, hot dogs, mini-dillas, shrimp.

And I'm sorry for the wait. [chuckles]

You think your deadbeats are bad?

You don't know my crew,

a bunch of boho jabronis, you know what I mean?

Half of America's just assholes,

and the other half, fuckin' assholes.

[laughter]

[Ron] I mean, it's like, amen, brother.

- Yeah. - Deadbeats, waiters.

Same shit, different assholes. [laughs]

Cool, man, I got real work to do.

Okay. Oh, there he is, our main operative!

Roman, all right, what do we got?

- What do we got? - Did you get anything?

- [Ron] Yeah, you got anything? - An address?

You got an address or what?

No, he's ramblin'.

- [Sacker] So you got a car ID? - Yeah, what's the car ID?

- You get a car ID? - [Roman] Well...

he's borrowing a car.

His bro's.

His bro...

[psychedelic music plays]

...Dennis.

What--

what is this?

So the car?

- Is it food? - Ugh, exactly.

Yeah, well, this is the good stuff right here.

Shrimp.

[Mattea] Hey, shrimp and pineapple.

[Roman] How do you even pick it up?

- [Ron] We got hot dogs... - [Sacker] Yoo-hoo.

Yo.[whistles]

- Car. - [Roman] Oh.

Yeah, right. Uh, '74 Nova.

- Seventy-four Chevy Nova? - Yeah, a Nova.

[Sacker] Johnson, check the lot.

- [Johnson] Yep. - Mattea, call in a warrant

to search that car.

Ron, more mini-dillas.

Well, I'm writing down Chevy Nova--

- I got it. - I'm writing down '74 Chevy--

- Get out. - Okay.

A supernova.

[Sacker] That's good work, Roman.

We're finally gonna get that son of a bitch Jeff Daniels

behind bars where he belongs.

What are you doing?

I finally cracked it.

I cracked my opus.

- [chuckles] - Opus?

Supernova collapse leads to a black hole.

A passage through space-time

connecting the future to the past.

- I thought you do a vlog. - [Roman] Yes.

Do.

What I am... is a writer.

A science fiction writer.

Like, space shit for kids?

No! A hard sci-fi--

I really thought you were different.

Hard sci-fi.

Mattea, get him out of my tent.

Get the fuck out of the sponsors tent!

Hold on a second.

- [Henry] Sackson! - [Evie] Are you out there?

[Henry] Can you hear us?

[Evie] Call back to us, Sackson!

- [Henry] Sackson! - [Evie] Sackson!

Sackson! Is he on the--

[Evie] I can't believe what I've done.

Is he in the cliff? Is he--

I'm the worst person in the whole world.

What happened to me?

No, no, no, Evie--

I lost an entire guy!

No, Evie, there are worse people.

- Not really. - Oh, 100%.

[Evie] No, name someone worse. I don't know.

Stalin? Vlad the Impaler?

John Krasinski?

I mean, there are terrible people--

- From The Office? - No, no, no, no, uh...

He seems so nice.

...Ted Kaczynski, Ted Kaczynski.

Where's Sackson?

- Sackson! - Sackson!

- [Henry] Sackson! - [Evie] Sackson!

Holy shit, is that-- is that his phone?

Why are we running?

Are we running?

[Henry] Look! Is that his phone?

[Evie] He's drowned and he's buried!

[Henry] Oh, my God.

Okay, I'm just gonna make sure it's Sackson's.

- Careful! - [Evie and Henry yell]

My younger self.

- Sackson, Sackson! - [Henry] Oh, Sackson!

- Sackson, are you okay? - Baby Evie!

Why is your phone in the ocean?

[Sackson] It was the numbers.

They just kept-- they kept getting higher,

and I couldn't-- I couldn't take it.

I had to throw it in there.

What?

- [Sackson] Ah, no! - [both yelp]

If you touch it, that stuff will get on you.

And if it's on you, then it's--then it's on you.

- The water? - [Sackson] Yes!

- The water? - [Sackson] No, no, no.

- [yells] - Why is he yelling?

[all yelling]

Oh, oh.

[all] Ohh...

- Do you feel that? - I feel it.

- Ohh... - Oh, so this is mushrooms.

Oh, my God, it's Sackson.

Honey.

Wow.

- [Edgar] "Desert Rose." - [Johnson] Yeah, I got you.

[Edgar] "Englishman in New York."

[Johnson] Maybe The Police will be there.

- [person] Whoo! - Hey, if you like Sting,

let me hear you scream!

- [crowd cheering] - [Johnson] Yeah!

Man, VIP tickets to Sting.

That sure does sound cool. [chuckles]

The bus is taking them to jail, Ron.

I know. I just-- I'm saying it...

[sighs] ...sounds cool.

Sounds cool.

So, we searched the Nova and confirmed

we got the right Jeff Daniels.

- Okay. - Mm-hmm.

[Roman] Thanks for the report, Officer.

Great job.

What?

Where's Jeff Daniels, Roman?

I mean, why are you asking me?

Because he's gone.

Almost like someone tipped him off.

Oh, like someone owed him one for showing them the way?

[Sacker] Well, sounds like what you're saying is,

he fed you a line of bullshit

and you let him go.

No, that's--I--

what I said was hypothetical,

and what you're--

Oh, those.

Oh, wait, those-- what are those?

Just nothing. Why?

Oh, yes.

Uh, mm.

Mmm.

What is it?

Exactly.

Mmm.

- [Lucy giggles] - Oh.

It's just paper.

[laughter]

You don't even get it!

Oh, no, I do get it! And it's great.

No, Jeff Daniels is the single biggest deadbeat father

west of the Rockies.

He's abandoned four different families

with kids he won't take credit for

in three other states.

- Four families? - Four!

Lieutenant, we got him. Looks like he stole a car.

We got roadblocks up on the PCH.

Fucker swiped some handicapped guy's car.

- Piece of shit. - King of the assholes.

- Mm-hmm. - Wait.

I'm a handicapped guy.

Oh, no!

It was here.

Oh, shit.

Was it a "Hyun-dai" Sonata?

[Mattea] I think you're pronouncing it wrong.

- It's "Hun-dai," right? - I think so, just "Hun-dai."

Was it a "Hyun-dai" Sonata?

[upbeat jazzy music plays]

♪ ♪

[Sacker] Okay! Have a good time, everybody!

Yeah, I know I am!

But what do you mean, just be?

So you're not an actor anymore?

See, that is the thing.

I never was an actor. It's what I did.

So what I do next doesn't matter

because whatever I do has nothing to do...

[chuckles]

...with what I am, you see?

[phone rings]

Good shrooms.

- Yeah. - [Kyle] This is Kyle.

- Oh! Right, yeah, okay! - [Sacker] All right, thanks.

[Kyle] Yeah, no problem.

[Sacker] Of course. Okay, thanks.

So... good news.

- Oh? - [Sacker] We got Daniels,

and we recovered your car.

- Great. I just bought that car. - Should still be usable.

Yeah, what does it cost to fix a broken window?

- Huh. - [Roman] Hundred bucks?

One-fifty max?

But that's really pushing it.

[Sacker] He tried to run a roadblock,

went up the embankment, rolled the car.

Still runs, though. I think.

[Roman giggles]

You think that's funny?

No. [laughs]

[Kyle laughs] I got it!

Lost Boyscallback!

Baby, I am an actor!

- [laughs] - [giggles]

[Kyle] Back in the game, baby!

- [laughs] Let's go! - [laughs]

[engine rumbling, crowd shouting indistinctly]

[Evie] Wow.

- That was a real journey. - Yeah.

I mean, metaphorically,

because in actual terms,

we wandered around within, like, a half acre.

- There were solid insights. - Yeah.

What if I quit the whole franchise thing

and just focused on cool, interesting stuff?

And you know what?

I'm serious about Colonel Stryker.

We could get you back into acting.

Henry, I'm only a little bit on shrooms now,

so I am serious.

Okay, yeah. I-I will think about it.

- [Evie chuckles] - [Henry] Oh, my God.

Have you ever just looked at them?

Hey! Hey, guys!

Can you tell the seagull that me and Snap

are gonna hit the road to Blythe?

We're gonna get some medium-sleeved shirts.

Come on, Snap, let's go.

Medium-sleeved shirts!

Medium-sleeved!

All right.

- He's fine. - Yeah.

♪ ♪

[person] T-R-E-E, tree.

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