Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:06,965
[upbeat saxophone music]
2
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:09,342
both: * Good morning to you ♪
3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:12,053
♪ Good morning to you ♪
4
00:00:12,053 --> 00:00:15,015
♪ Good morning,
good morning ♪
5
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:19,686
♪ It's morning for you ♪
6
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:25,567
♪ Get out of my room ♪
7
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,193
♪ If you don't leave quickly ♪
8
00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:30,113
♪ I'll fart box this room ♪
9
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,200
Hey, come on.
Chance is seven.
10
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,702
He should be able
to wake up on his own
11
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:39,664
like a normal person
by choking on his own burp.
12
00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:41,207
Quinten and I
know what we're doing.
13
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:43,209
Yeah,
we won Parents of the Year
14
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,419
two years in a row.
15
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:48,381
- Who gives that award?
- I do.
16
00:00:48,381 --> 00:00:50,675
And heads-up,
I can be bought.
17
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,054
Okay.
Breakfast time, Gordo.
18
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:55,180
But I'm tired.
19
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,098
Carry me?
20
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,101
Of course. Come on.
21
00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:01,102
[grunts]
22
00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:02,645
Mm.
23
00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:03,813
I don't know
why you're carrying him.
24
00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:06,775
He's not even drunk.
25
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:09,736
[upbeat saxophone music]
26
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:16,701
♪ ♪
27
00:01:22,665 --> 00:01:25,835
I'm so excited my primos
are coming for spring break.
28
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:28,254
We 'bout to turn up!
29
00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:33,677
{\an8}Oh, well, as long
as I can turn down by 10:00.
30
00:01:33,677 --> 00:01:35,720
{\an8}I just love
how in Latinx families,
31
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,764
{\an8}your cousins
are also your best friends.
32
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:38,890
{\an8}That's true.
33
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:41,851
{\an8}I've got 172 best friends.
34
00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:44,729
{\an8}I have one cousin.
35
00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:46,981
{\an8}She's 16 and hates me.
36
00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:48,942
{\an8}[knock at door]
37
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,860
{\an8}[squeals]
38
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:53,822
{\an8}[all squealing]
39
00:01:58,159 --> 00:02:01,329
{\an8}Oh, Quentin,
you remember Yesika.
40
00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:05,125
{\an8}Ooh, on socials,
it's Hell-dash-Yesika.
41
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,168
{\an8}I'm an influencer now.
42
00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,461
{\an8}What are you
under the influence of?
43
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:09,838
{\an8}And can I have some?
44
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:15,468
{\an8}- Miguel, how's grad school?
- It's going great.
45
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,345
{\an8}I'm getting my doctorate
in Chicano studies
46
00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:19,973
{\an8}with an emphasis
on the cultural significance
47
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,558
{\an8}of the Hot Cheeto.
48
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,644
{\an8}Yeah, I saw your TED Talk.
49
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:26,229
{\an8}How did you make the connection
50
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:28,690
{\an8}between Cheeto dust
and Aztec war paint?
51
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:29,774
{\an8}It's obvious...
52
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:31,526
{\an8}when you're on 'shrooms.
53
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,697
{\an8}Orale, that's
how this Chicano studies.
54
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,160
{\an8}And, Luna,
I didn't know you were coming.
55
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,828
{\an8}You didn't return
any of my texts.
56
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,872
{\an8}I unplugged months ago.
57
00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:46,374
{\an8}And now I live in a van.
58
00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:48,668
{\an8}People say
that traveling changes you,
59
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:51,254
{\an8}but I just keep
becoming more myself.
60
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:55,342
{\an8}Wow, your lives are amazing.
61
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,510
{\an8}Luna's free to travel
wherever she wants.
62
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,888
{\an8}I'm just living off vibes.
63
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,475
{\an8}Miguel's a scholar
and activist.
64
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:06,186
{\an8}Para la raza.
65
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,772
{\an8}And Yesika's famous for...
66
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,023
{\an8}being hot.
67
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,776
{\an8}[giggles] Aw.
68
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:13,985
{\an8}It's true.
69
00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:19,657
My brand is girl
who gets invited onto boats.
70
00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:21,701
You know,
like Luna's brand is van life,
71
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:23,995
and Miguel's is
Flaming Hot Chicano.
72
00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:29,084
Oh. Oh, um, what's our brand?
73
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:31,211
I'm guessing Kirkland?
74
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,254
Oh!
75
00:03:33,254 --> 00:03:34,464
[chuckles]
76
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,133
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
77
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:40,220
Relax.
No, we are proud parents.
78
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:43,014
That's lame, aye!
79
00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:45,684
That's why I never
made parenting my brand.
80
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:48,395
I went for the obvious:
81
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,313
cholo zaddy.
Watch out.
82
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:58,113
[upbeat saxophone music]
83
00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,240
♪ ♪
84
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,700
Are you making Chance
85
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:03,451
a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich?
86
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:05,912
Let him make his own.
87
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,415
He doesn't know how.
88
00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:11,292
The ingredients
are in the name.
89
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,298
It's not that simple, Grandpa.
90
00:04:17,298 --> 00:04:22,470
I require a very complicated
peanut butter to jelly ratio.
91
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:27,559
This is why you don't have
time for fun, or friends,
92
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:31,312
or going to traffic school
for me.
93
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,942
Oh, my dad is right.
94
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,486
My primos are living
these exciting lives,
95
00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:40,363
and here we are
96
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:43,408
picking peanuts
out of peanut butter.
97
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:46,911
Your fault
for not getting creamy, Mom.
98
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:49,748
Okay. You know what?
99
00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:53,251
No, we are not doing chores.
100
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,544
We are going out
with your primos.
101
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,796
Who's gonna watch Chance?
102
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,340
George is.
103
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,718
I didn't agree to that.
104
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,387
You did say
that we should have more fun.
105
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,305
Well,
why would you listen to me?
106
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,515
I have terrible ideas.
107
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:11,686
- Thanks.
- Have fun.
108
00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:14,147
Grandpa, will you
hand that sandwich to me?
109
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,192
It looks so delicious, but...
110
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,778
it's all the way over there.
111
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:30,997
You're right.
It is delicious.
112
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:35,585
With the perfect ratio of mine,
not yours.
113
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:37,712
[upbeat saxophone music]
114
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,301
Oh, this van is so cool.
115
00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:45,095
It has a toilet.
116
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,766
I brought juice boxes
and little bags of Cheerios
117
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,226
if anyone gets hungry.
118
00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:53,853
Mayan, remember, we're
making different choices today.
119
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:56,481
We're living like your primos.
120
00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,983
Make room for the queen.
121
00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,027
- Ooh!
- Hey, familikas!
122
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,571
Today, I'm hanging out
with my awesome, fun primos.
123
00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:04,781
both: Aw!
124
00:06:04,781 --> 00:06:06,616
And my sad, boring primos.
125
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:09,786
both: Aw.
126
00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:12,414
Can we show them
how to live their best life?
127
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:14,541
all: Hell-dash-Yesika!
128
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,751
[giggles]
129
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:19,212
And the wide shoulder pads
in the zoot suit
130
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:21,756
represents
the weight of oppression
131
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:24,551
on the shoulders
of the mighty Chicano.
132
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,761
[all snapping fingers]
133
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,221
What does
the pocket watch represent?
134
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,264
Hmm?
135
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:32,100
Oh, nothing.
It's just cool, fool.
136
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:35,061
Finally,
I get to discuss books
137
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,147
that don't have
green eggs or ham.
138
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,192
A big part of van life
139
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:44,279
is sourcing your own food from
nature, like these berries,
140
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:48,366
or as I call them,
nature's berries.
141
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:55,206
Oh, wow, these are way better
than Kirkland berries.
142
00:06:55,206 --> 00:06:58,501
That's van life.
143
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,004
* Can you feel the beat
within my heart? ♪
144
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:03,089
♪ Can't you see my love
shine through the dark?
145
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,050
♪ Can you feel the beat
within my heart? ♪
146
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,010
♪ Can't you see my love
shine through the dark? ♪
147
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,095
♪ Can't you see
that you must be a part ♪
148
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:13,141
♪ Of that beat in my heart? ♪
149
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:15,352
♪ That beat in my heart ♪
150
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:17,687
[knock at door]
151
00:07:17,687 --> 00:07:19,064
I do not mean to brag,
152
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,358
but I just flipped the hell
out of this sign!
153
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:24,194
I was like, wah!
154
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:25,779
Oh.
155
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,739
Good work, Oscar,
156
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:31,493
channeling your ADHD
into a job skill.
157
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:34,746
What was that?
158
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:37,415
[knock at door]
159
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:38,625
Oh, that's my client.
160
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,876
Go hide in my office.
161
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:42,253
I don't want him to think
I take in drifters.
162
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:50,553
Javier, welcome.
163
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,764
May I call you Javier?
164
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,766
No.
165
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:55,934
Okay.
166
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:58,436
Well, it's signing time.
167
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:01,856
I already went over the terms
of your life insurance policy
168
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,692
with your wife, Teresa.
169
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:06,236
May I call her Teresa?
170
00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,987
No.
171
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,493
Hey, wait.
172
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,954
This says she gets all
the money, and I get nothing.
173
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:19,499
Well, you'd be dead, so...
174
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,167
Exactly.
175
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,961
My wife just wants me
to get life insurance
176
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,796
so that she can
poison my menudo
177
00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:28,258
and buy a Bentley
for her sancho.
178
00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:31,094
Well, with the policy
and your budget,
179
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:33,596
she's looking more
at a pre-owned Kia Sorrento.
180
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,265
[laughs]
181
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,477
I reconsidered.
182
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,104
I handle the finances
in my family,
183
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:43,189
and I'm not signing this.
184
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:46,151
My wife will get life insurance
over my dead body.
185
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:48,486
Yes, that's how it works.
186
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:58,121
Well, there's no way
to spin that.
187
00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:00,832
You Latino men
are so machista.
188
00:09:00,832 --> 00:09:02,751
You know
how much money I miss out on
189
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,336
because men don't want to buy
190
00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:07,797
from a powerful,
fashionable, sensual woman
191
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:11,968
who often gets mistaken
for a cable news anchorperson?
192
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,891
You know, you've got a problem
with machismo idiots,
193
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,476
and I can help.
194
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:22,354
How? Are you some sort
of idiot whisperer?
195
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,192
[whispers] Yes.
196
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:30,362
[upbeat saxophone music]
197
00:09:30,362 --> 00:09:33,990
♪ ♪
198
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,868
- [toy gun clicks]
- Ay!
199
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:46,086
Take that, colonizer!
200
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,509
I learned that from Tio Miguel.
201
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:55,887
I'll remember that
for the police report.
202
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:57,722
[sighs]
203
00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,182
Let's play a new game,
all right?
204
00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:02,185
This one is called
Scavenger Hunt.
205
00:10:02,185 --> 00:10:03,978
Let's see if you can find...
206
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,939
a dinosaur,
207
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,483
a minion,
208
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:11,361
and a half-eaten
chicken nugget.
209
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:19,035
You're doing good.
You're doing good.
210
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,704
Three, two, one!
211
00:10:20,704 --> 00:10:22,831
Oh!
212
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,041
- Found them all.
- You did.
213
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,418
- Are you having fun, Gordo?
- Yeah.
214
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:27,627
You should have a turn, Grandpa.
215
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,504
Maybe later on.
216
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:34,092
[upbeat saxophone music]
217
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:39,014
I feel so cool. Do you?
218
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:41,307
Ah, so cool.
219
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,435
Well, well, well...
220
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:48,231
I hope you had fun
221
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:52,193
while others were
languishing at home.
222
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,737
Are you drinking wine?
223
00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:56,364
Yes, Mayan, I am,
224
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:59,701
because that's
the kind of day that I've had.
225
00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:03,663
I had to clean,
and do laundry,
226
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:06,750
and chase around
the Latino Dennis the Menace.
227
00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:12,255
So don't judge me,
228
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:15,216
because Mommy needs her juice.
229
00:11:17,135 --> 00:11:20,597
Okay, I'm--I'm not ready
to go back to our old lives.
230
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,223
This is the first time in years
that my fingers
231
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,475
haven't smelled
like peanut butter.
232
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:28,772
I mean, the primos
are here all weekend.
233
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:32,275
Why don't we keep the party
going with an actual party?
234
00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:33,276
That's a great idea.
235
00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:34,694
After the day that I've had,
236
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,071
I could use a party.
237
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:37,822
No.
238
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:40,617
You're gonna watch Chance again
so we can have fun.
239
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:43,119
What? Okay.
Listen, that's not fair.
240
00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:45,789
Hey, it's payback for
all the times that you partied
241
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:48,500
instead of being a responsible
parent when I was a kid.
242
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:52,087
Damn, actually that is fair.
243
00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:54,130
Primos,
we're throwing a party.
244
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,674
[gasps]
both: Yeah!
245
00:11:55,674 --> 00:11:57,592
I won't even charge
to show up.
246
00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:59,636
Oh, we're gonna
have this place bouncing
247
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:01,513
like a low rider.
248
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,723
To honor our ancestors.
249
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,686
[upbeat music]
250
00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:09,979
♪ ♪
251
00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:11,940
It's lucky your cousins
have so many friends
252
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:14,150
since our social circle is...
253
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,360
Chance.
254
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,072
All right, Chance,
255
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:20,532
we're camping out
in the truck tonight,
256
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:22,117
but I want you
to take a good look around
257
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:26,496
so you appreciate what I'm
giving up to take care of you.
258
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,748
[sighs]
You're a grandpa.
259
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,208
Let it go, man.
260
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,045
He's kidding.
I'm the sexy nephew
261
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:37,507
from the island of Ensenada.
262
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:38,842
We'll see you
in the morning, buddy.
263
00:12:38,842 --> 00:12:41,011
You guys get to party
and I don't?
264
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,637
That's not fair!
265
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:47,017
You took our twenties
from us!
266
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,435
I'm sorry.
267
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,228
You gotta let us have this, buddy.
268
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:53,314
Dang, I guess that is fair.
269
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:57,402
[glass shattering]
270
00:12:57,402 --> 00:13:00,196
Uh-oh. You think
that was something valuable?
271
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,198
Doesn't matter,
because that means
272
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,993
that this party is lit.
273
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:07,495
Do people still say "lit"?
274
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,456
That was lit!
275
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,082
They do!
[chuckles]
276
00:13:11,082 --> 00:13:15,086
♪ ♪
277
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:16,421
[upbeat saxophone music]
278
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,715
Thanks for giving our company
a second chance.
279
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:22,469
I think you'll have a better
connection with my boss.
280
00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:31,978
Hello.
281
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,397
My name is Mr. Office.
282
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,317
You can call him Oscar.
283
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,611
Let us go down on business.
284
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,741
Good to meet you, Oscar.
285
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,743
Hey, you see that fight
Friday night, huh?
286
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:49,829
Yep, saw it the way
it was meant to be seen:
287
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,832
on stolen cable
in my mom's garage.
288
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,960
And your mom's hot?
289
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,547
I mean, kinda, I guess.
290
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,094
So what do you say, Javi?
291
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:05,679
You ready to sign this policy?
292
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,598
Then we can do
what real machos do:
293
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:11,393
shop for belts
at the swap meet.
294
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:16,481
Still not ready to sign,
but I'm up for the swap meet.
295
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:20,485
I got some corduroy slippers
to return.
296
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:23,238
Cancel my afternoon,
Mrs. Secretary.
297
00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:26,199
I'm taking my client
to the swap meet.
298
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,909
[upbeat saxophone music]
299
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:31,413
[Usher's "Yeah"]
300
00:14:31,413 --> 00:14:33,498
We should throw a party
every weekend.
301
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:34,916
I just met a girl named Margo
302
00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:37,377
who's moving to Paris
on a whim.
303
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,546
A whim, Quentin!
304
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,757
I talked to a guy
who live-streams himself
305
00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:44,759
playing video games all day,
306
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:47,512
and people think he's cool.
307
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:49,514
Where did I go wrong?
308
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:53,143
What's with the line
outside the bathroom?
309
00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:54,394
♪ ♪
310
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,479
Sorry.
311
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,481
- Everything okay?
- Don't worry.
312
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:00,692
It's just
that time of the month...
313
00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:05,447
when my tapeworm starts ramming
against my stomach lining.
314
00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:06,823
Did you just say "tapeworm"?
315
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,076
[sighs]
316
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:13,038
Part of van life
is forging from dumpsters.
317
00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,623
Sometimes you pick up a
perfectly good head of lettuce.
318
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:18,418
Sometimes
you pick up a parasite.
319
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,544
Mm.
[stomach gurgling]
320
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:22,547
Okay, I'm going back in. Ooh.
321
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,257
We'll go find you a plunger.
322
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:27,052
That you can keep forever.
323
00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,389
- Miguel?
- Mm?
324
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,601
- Mm.
- What are you doing?
325
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,811
Oh, I'm just researching
the dietary habits
326
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,981
of a multigenerational
Chicano family.
327
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:42,275
I'm stealing food.
328
00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:43,693
What?
329
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:45,195
Don't you have
a meal plan at school?
330
00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:48,573
No, what I have is
$300,000 in student debt,
331
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,450
and I didn't even go
to a good school.
332
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,621
Dear Lord! Oh!
333
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,498
Yesika, what's wrong?
334
00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:59,376
I lost all my sponsors
to a new influencer
335
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,628
named Hell-slash-Yesika.
336
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:05,548
She's just like me, but...
337
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:07,550
she actually
has something to say.
338
00:16:10,387 --> 00:16:13,139
Well, at least you still
have 50,000 followers.
339
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:14,808
They're all bots!
340
00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:20,105
Okay, the primos' lives
341
00:16:20,105 --> 00:16:22,148
do not seem as glamorous
as they did earlier.
342
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,859
I mean, Luna's got a tapeworm,
Miguel is starving,
343
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:28,196
and now Yesika
is so-dash-depressika.
344
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,906
You guys,
you might want to check out
345
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:31,324
what's happening
in the sex room.
346
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,909
Which room is that?
347
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,744
The one with the bunk beds
and the sex toys--
348
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:37,664
well, regular toys
people are using for sex.
349
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:40,792
- Oh, God!
- Oh! Run!
350
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:43,336
[upbeat saxophone music]
351
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:48,133
♪ Girl look at that body ♪
352
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:50,969
Mayan,
I was just in Chance's room.
353
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:53,346
We're gonna have
to burn all the sheets.
354
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:57,726
Someone did install
a cool swing set, though.
355
00:16:57,726 --> 00:16:59,978
We made a huge mistake.
356
00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:01,312
All right.
It's time to shut this down.
357
00:17:01,312 --> 00:17:03,106
Everybody, party's over.
358
00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:05,275
- Uh, it's time to go home.
- Yeah.
359
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:09,279
I am home, homes.
360
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:11,489
Dad, where's Chance?
361
00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:15,577
I left him with Rosie.
I ain't about that parent life.
362
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:19,205
You guys, I'm so sorry.
363
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:20,582
[laughter]
364
00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:22,208
- Oh, wow.
- Ooh.
365
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:23,626
[chuckles]
366
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,880
All that swap meet tequila
went right through me.
367
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,214
Uh, bathroom?
368
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,010
Ohh.
369
00:17:32,010 --> 00:17:34,012
So how did it go?
370
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:36,431
Did you idiot-whisper Javier
into signing?
371
00:17:36,431 --> 00:17:38,475
No, but I got him drunk.
372
00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:41,978
And I convinced him to keep
those corduroy slippers.
373
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:46,191
Okay, I can work with drunk.
374
00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:48,360
George is
the most stubborn man I know,
375
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:50,737
but after a few,
376
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:54,949
there's one thing
that melts his machismo.
377
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:57,202
A Pit Bull named Poncho.
378
00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:00,580
Mariachi.
379
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,458
[soft mariachi music]
380
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:07,712
Ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-hi!
381
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:10,965
Ahh-ha-ha-ha-hi!
382
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:13,927
Oh, I love this song.
383
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:17,430
It reminds me of my mom.
384
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,225
Is she also hot?
385
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:21,768
I mean,
she wasn't spray-painted
386
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:25,438
on half the low riders
in Downey because she was ugly.
387
00:18:28,024 --> 00:18:30,402
She died last year.
388
00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:33,446
Yeah, I had to take care
of all the arrangements myself.
389
00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,699
- That sounds so expensive.
- Yeah.
390
00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:39,035
If only there was something
that could cover those costs
391
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:40,912
and leave enough left over
392
00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:44,833
to get a tattoo of her face
on your arm.
393
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:49,421
{\an8}Yeah,
I had to do this one myself.
394
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:51,381
Oh, wow.
Your mom was Chewbacca.
395
00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:53,842
That's great.
396
00:18:56,136 --> 00:19:00,223
You don't want to leave
your wife in the same situation
397
00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:01,808
if you go first.
398
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,770
Yeah, okay.
399
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,063
Where do I sign?
400
00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:14,154
♪ ♪
401
00:19:15,238 --> 00:19:17,782
- We did it.
- You did it.
402
00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:19,451
You are a great agent.
403
00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:22,162
I know.
404
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:25,457
Just remember,
behind every machismo man
405
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:28,877
is a little boy who just
wants a hug from his mom.
406
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:34,257
Or his best friend's ex-wife.
407
00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:38,094
Get out.
408
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:48,063
[upbeat saxophone music]
409
00:19:48,063 --> 00:19:51,232
- [all groaning]
- Okay.
410
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:54,444
Grilled PB&J with potato chips.
411
00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:56,488
It is
the world's best hangover cure.
412
00:19:58,073 --> 00:20:00,533
I think.
This is my first hangover.
413
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,371
I'm full.
414
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:07,540
Yeah, I accidentally swallowed
one my eyelashes last night.
415
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:11,503
[groans]
416
00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:14,547
Can I have extra?
I'm eating for two.
417
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:17,676
Oh, you're pregnant?
Congratulations.
418
00:20:17,676 --> 00:20:21,262
No, it's for me and my worm.
419
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,517
Congratulations.
420
00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:29,020
Man, I'm so jealous.
421
00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:30,397
You guys
have your life together.
422
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,691
You really are
Parents of the Year.
423
00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:34,317
Adopt me?
424
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:39,656
You know, maybe we focus
so much of our time on Chance
425
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:41,616
'cause it's easier
than trying to figure out
426
00:20:41,616 --> 00:20:43,535
our identities outside
of being parents.
427
00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:46,705
I mean, it's tough
because Chance needs us.
428
00:20:46,705 --> 00:20:48,790
I mean, we have to be up early
to get him dressed,
429
00:20:48,790 --> 00:20:49,958
make him breakfast.
430
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:51,459
Morning.
431
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,214
I'll be making
my own PB&J today.
432
00:20:56,214 --> 00:20:58,299
That's right.
I'm a man now.
433
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:04,639
{\an8}Good,
now you can get out there
434
00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:08,101
{\an8}and get your own bunk bed.
435
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:09,602
{\an8}He's making
his own breakfast?
436
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,187
{\an8}Well, that's gonna save us
some time.
437
00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:14,482
{\an8}So maybe we can have fun
every once and a while,
438
00:21:14,482 --> 00:21:17,027
{\an8}like wine tasting
at Kirkland Vineyards.
439
00:21:17,027 --> 00:21:19,404
{\an8}Okay.
440
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:22,198
{\an8}But we're gonna need
to lean on Dad more.
441
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:25,702
{\an8}You know I don't like
when you call me that.
442
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:29,539
{\an8}[upbeat saxophone music]
443
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:34,139
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
31138
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
