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1
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♪ Kiff ♪
2
00:00:05,380 --> 00:00:07,090
♪ Kiff, Kiff ♪
3
00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:08,930
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
4
00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:12,505
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
5
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,352
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
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00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:16,977
♪ Kiff, Kiff, Kiff
Kiff, Kiff ♪
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00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:19,055
♪ Kiff ♪
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♪ Kiff! ♪
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00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:23,607
(giggles)
10
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:26,476
(both laugh)
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00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:29,994
ANNOUNCER: Brought to you
by Foxhole Productions.
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00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:33,446
Ooh, don't you collect these?
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Eh, I already have
the whole set.
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(gasps)
How about these?
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00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:40,833
Eh, I don't collect
those anymore.
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Oh.
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00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:43,503
Anything?
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00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:45,171
Eh. Nah.
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Heh, look at this.
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00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:49,131
(chuckling)
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00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:51,222
Who would buy that?
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00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:54,467
Trust me,
let sleeping pigeons lie.
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Ugh! Can't today.
I'm having a garage sale.
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My shows took a dip
in the ratings last month,
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00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:03,268
so I decided to play it safe
and sell a bunch of junk.
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00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:04,941
The phone isn't for sale.
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00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:18,041
(chuckles)
So dumb.
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00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:22,001
Oh. Find anything?
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00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:24,924
(laughs)
What?
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00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,838
There's just something about it.
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I mean, where did it come from?
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Why's he wearing
this little hat?
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And what are these?
Loafers?
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(gasp) Wait, there's a number 4
on his necklace.
35
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Does that mean
there's more of them?
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Is this a part of a set?
37
00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:41,938
Are you asking me?
Because--
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To the collectorium!
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Oh!
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(gasps)
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KIFF:
No manufacturer, no date.
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(sniffs, gasps)
43
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- Smell that?
- (sniffs)
44
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:04,168
Oh. Smells like birthday cake.
45
00:02:04,165 --> 00:02:06,955
This was made out of a material
called Hennepin,
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which was only produced
between 1908 and 1911.
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Barry, we got a lead.
To the library!
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00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:17,466
(Kiff gasps)
49
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There's five of them, Barry.
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Each one,
a personality of their own.
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00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,941
This one must be Mystery Lad.
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(giggling)
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- Kiff?
- We got to get all five!
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00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,340
(both laughing)
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00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:56,890
Ooh, we're only missing
number one.
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00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,675
And then the collection
will be complete.
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00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,932
And that's why
I never get distracted.
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00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:05,273
(cell phone rings)
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00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,598
Hello?
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00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:08,023
It's my manager!
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00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,358
(gasps)
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00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,822
(gasps)
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00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:20,448
HELEN: And did they
guarantee me a trailer?
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I have...
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(gasps)
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Barry! It's number one!
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We got them all!
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What now?
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This is it.
This is collecting.
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(thunder crashing)
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I can play 16.
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(explosions)
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Oh, no. Mom, I'll call you back.
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(gasps)
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(both whimpering)
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- (electricity crackles)
- (gasps)
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♪ Thank you for freeing us ♪
78
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:08,827
♪ Thank you for freeing us
Thanks ♪
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- (all laugh)
- (dance music blares)
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00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:19,799
(excited chatter)
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00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:23,045
(laughing)
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- (air horn blows)
- Whoo-hoo!
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You fools.
You've brought back
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the Five Pigeons
of the Acapella-pocalypse.
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The what?
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00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,654
(dance music blaring)
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(screaming)
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(screaming)
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Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
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(snickering)
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00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:49,871
(laughing)
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Whoa!
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- (music stops)
- Excuse me.
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No, wait.
95
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What is all of this about?
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00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:01,762
(dance music blaring)
97
00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:05,263
(laughing)
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00:05:06,764 --> 00:05:08,224
Help!
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00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:09,684
We got to help him!
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(all laughing)
101
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Hey, hey, hey!
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(music stops)
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(scatting)
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♪ We flip the tables ♪
105
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♪ Oh, we flip the tables
So good ♪
106
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- Ha-ha!
- (screams)
107
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(dance music blaring)
108
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(all screaming)
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(strumming)
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(police sirens
blaring distantly)
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(Helen groans)
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Helen, wait.
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(whimpering)
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What is going on?
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Those five pigeons
are ancient
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cosmic crumb bags
from an unknown time.
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00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,699
My great-great-great-
grandmother
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helped curse them
into toy form.
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They were then scattered
to the far corners of Table Town
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for good reason.
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KIFF: Then why would they
put out an ad for them?
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It's not an ad.
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It's a PSA seeking
five secure locations
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to keep these cursed toys separate.
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See? There's my
great-great-great granny.
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The only way
to reverse the curse
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is to separate the pigeons
before sunset.
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Simple enough.
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00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,314
Come on.
Let's go separate them.
130
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Are you nuts? No.
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The pigeons
are way too powerful.
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- You're stealing a car?
- What? No, this is my car.
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Bye.
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00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,246
Why couldn't I leave
that pigeon toy alone?
135
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Why did I need
to collect them all?
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There's got to be something
we can do.
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(Kiff gasps)
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I have an idea.
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(distant screams)
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(moaning)
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00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:11,219
We are the ghost of your
great-great-great-grandmother.
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We command you to help us
stop the pigeons.
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You're not the ghost of my
great-great-great-grandmother.
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How do you know?
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Because she's over there.
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- Hello.
- (both scream)
147
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The five pigeons are back?
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00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:28,321
Helen, why aren't you
helping these two?
149
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Your mom and gran
and great-great-gran
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would be ashamed of you.
151
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,115
The daddies too.
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00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,790
Okay, okay.
153
00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:38,458
I guess I am
kind of the chosen one.
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(snaps fingers)
155
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Let's separate those pigeons.
156
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Yeah!
157
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,843
- (distant police sirens)
- This is good.
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00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,838
They're tired.
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00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,550
Let's go.
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00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,846
(giggling)
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(exclaims and laughs)
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00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:02,190
♪ If something
That seems hard to do ♪
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00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:05,440
♪ We got a shot
If it's one plus two ♪
164
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,903
♪ It's a team-up ♪
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00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:09,413
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
166
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:12,405
♪ The fate of the world
Is on the line ♪
167
00:08:12,408 --> 00:08:13,698
♪ Combine our skills ♪
168
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:15,871
♪ As we align ♪
169
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,790
♪ We'll split 'em up ♪
170
00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:19,328
♪ All right ♪
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♪ Because these birds
Are the worst ♪
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♪ They're so annoying ♪
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00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,723
♪ The Five Pigeons
Of the Acapella-pocalypse ♪
174
00:08:27,715 --> 00:08:30,425
♪ Is one worth destroying ♪
175
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:33,636
♪ Well, that was a mouthful ♪
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00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:37,018
♪ So many syllables ♪
177
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,766
♪ If we can stuff all that
In these lyrics ♪
178
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:40,058
♪ Then we can do anything ♪
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00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:44,226
♪ Including destroy them! ♪
180
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,572
(distant police sirens wailing)
181
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:46,856
- (giggling)
- We did it!
182
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,439
(helicopter flying overhead)
183
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:50,114
HELEN:
And just in time too.
184
00:08:50,112 --> 00:08:51,452
(all sigh)
185
00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:53,117
(car horn honks)
186
00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:56,285
♪ Wah, wah ♪
187
00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:58,195
- (honking horn rhythmically)
- ♪ Wah, wah ♪
188
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:01,044
He's so lonely.
189
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,996
♪ Boo-hoo ♪
190
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:06,712
Oh, jeez.
191
00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:09,548
(beatboxing)
192
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,299
They all are.
193
00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,180
(wailing)
194
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,807
(all crooning)
195
00:09:20,184 --> 00:09:22,984
This is the saddest thing
I've ever seen.
196
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,399
This is wrong.
197
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,817
We got to reunite them.
198
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:28,145
What? No. Are you insane?
199
00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:29,820
But you were crying.
200
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,529
Uh, I think I'll get over it.
201
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,109
Those pigeons
are the worst.
202
00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:37,700
(groans)
203
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,752
Got to get back on top.
204
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,075
(gasps)
205
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,710
Helen! Please!
I have an idea!
206
00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,077
If you do it...
207
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,337
I'll give you this candy.
208
00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:49,046
Okay.
209
00:09:49,046 --> 00:09:51,376
(high-pitched howl)
210
00:09:53,509 --> 00:09:55,929
(pigeons crooning)
211
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:01,983
♪ Wah-wah ♪
212
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:05,766
♪ Wah-wah, wah-wah ♪
213
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,231
♪ Wah-wah ♪
214
00:10:07,231 --> 00:10:11,031
♪ Wah ♪
215
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,447
(all singing angelically)
216
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:19,908
- (dance music blaring)
- (all cheer)
217
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:26,079
This idea better be
really good.
218
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:29,133
- Oh, it's reality good.
- What?
219
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:32,048
ANNOUNCER: Fox Hole Productions
proudly presents,
220
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:35,968
the newest hit show from
visionary producer Roy Fox.
221
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:39,348
It's The 5 Jerks.
222
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:41,557
If you thought you hated them
in real life,
223
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:44,807
you're gonna love them
in their new reality show.
224
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,520
BOTH:
Whoo! Yeah!
225
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,980
So at first I was thinking
I was more of a Nice Guy,
226
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:52,441
but now I think
I'm more of a Mystery Lad.
227
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:55,113
...safely sealed off
from the outside world
228
00:10:55,112 --> 00:10:58,492
in their own deluxe mansion.
229
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,451
(beatboxing)
230
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,155
♪ Oh, we're not annoying ♪
231
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:07,083
♪ No, we are not annoying
On TV ♪
232
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,923
(explosion)
233
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:11,418
BOTH: (stammering)
How do they--
234
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:13,920
BARRY:
Oh, I don't know.
15449
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