Original subtitles

oh [ __ ]

so

it's 35 16 go ahead control

copy that 76 monument road i'm code 2 35

16 out

[Music]

excuse me ma'am what oh

sorry what can i do for you we got a

report of what

sounded like gunshots coming from this

residence really

yes is there a problem

no other than the fact that i have an

idiot son

everything's fine

look this is gonna sound stupid but here

it is i was upstairs and i heard what i

thought were gunshots coming from down

here

i come running down and i see my idiot

son and his idiot friends pounding on

some bullets with a hammer

you're kidding me now do you ever hear

of anything so dumb no

that's a first lucky they didn't kill

themselves you're telling me i wanted to

strangle every one of the little

bastards

is your son here now no when i saw what

they were doing i went into a screaming

fit and told them to get out of my house

they all took off on their bikes

somewhere they're probably at the

woodley place down the road

your guns in the house i take it i have

a gun

but i keep it locked up so i can avoid

situations like this

i didn't lock up the ammunition because

i didn't think i had to

i figured you know how dangerous can a

bullet be if they don't have a gun to

put it in

so it's [ __ ] me it's not to

idiot-proof the ammunition

which completely defeats the purpose for

having a gun for home defense

if someone broke in i'd be raped stabbed

and bludgeoned before i can

get my key on those trigger box

well all right that's all it is i'll be

on my way and i know i keep calling my

son an idiot but

i'm just exaggerating he's a smart kid

just does really

stupid [ __ ] sometimes

and i guess i could take him to a shrink

and they could give him some fancy name

for it like

autism or asperger's or adhd

i guess i could pump him full of ritalin

turn him into some brain dead zombie

you know when all is said and done i'd

rather have a kid that

is a pain in the ass but has some

personality

instead of some mindless robot

besides who might even do something like

that just to make my life a little

easier

that's the mark of a weakling can't

handle the [ __ ] life deals out

i understand you know i have two of my

own the thing is his father died last

year of cancer and

i know that's affected him not to

mention when it's done to me

my head is like a pinball machine 24

hours a day

my brother tried to set me up on a date

last week

i even know how to date anymore half the

time i

think i never want to see a penis again

and the other half i'm so horny i can

hump the doorknob

guess i went a little far on that one

huh

a little bit don't worry about it

i just wish things were easier

i don't know maybe i'm part of the

problem

maybe i'm making things harder than they

have to be

maybe i should stop punishing myself for

past mistakes by denying me what would

make me happy right now

maybe that's just the thing exist for

the right now

what do you think about that

not to break the mood but do you have

any condoms

no but i've had a vasectomy that worked

definitely any disease things we need to

work around

no no no clean

that's out of the way

oh [ __ ] have i missed that

oh you feel good smell

no i need room to do my thing

oh wow

well hey if you don't slaughter i'm

gonna finish before i get started

come on

four

what i just want to take a mental

snapshot

you're [ __ ] beautiful

floor

you went top or bottom top

okay yeah i'm good

kiss me

oh

if you lay on your back i can finish you

off with my hand does that work

okay yeah

no just keep doing what you're doing

easy slower oh

okay now just stop it just leave your

hand there

oh my god

[Music]

everything's back in focus

by the way shelby

bruce that's a good group you got to

thanks

he's one of those uh squeezy thingies

i don't know what the technical name for

it is actually i think squeezy thingy

is a technical name for her wise ass

apologies about the quick finish by the

way

there's not been that turned on in a

while ah well

at least you were gentlemanly enough not

to just roll over and go to sleep

i'll make it up to you round two oh

round two mr big talker

you think you got round two in you if

you give me some recharge time i do

do you have to worry about your sub

coming home oh

no he knows to stay away for a bit after

one of my rampages

we've got a couple of hours at least do

we need to worry about you calling into

work

actually yeah we do need to worry about

that

i guess i could call in sick on my radio

i mean that is if you even want me to

stay

i won't take it personal if you don't i

mean

do you want to stay i mean

it's your place i don't want to wear out

my welcome

all right uh no more wishy-washy stuff

from now on total honesty zone yeah i

want you to stay yeah i want to stay too

okay good that's settled

all right now i just need to get up what

you want to do right now

no no i'm not i think you done drained

all the strength from my legs

all right let me get up this time for

real

here we go i'll be right back

i'll be waiting

hi judith shelby hi uh does josh happen

to be over there

okay uh good um look i've got kind of a

big favor to ask i had a little bit of a

meltdown with them earlier

i could really use the night to myself

uh would it be okay if you stayed over

with you tonight

yeah i'll call you in the morning before

i come pick him up

okay thanks i really appreciate it

okay bye

all right officially sick

and i just called my friend and she's

gonna let my son stay over so

my night's free and you can stay as long

as you want okay

sounds great good

so we've dealt with my kids situation

and your work situation

just leaves one more situation left

you want to talk about it nope

okay allow me to fix the problem

all fixed just like that huh

just like that as long as you're on

these premises

you belong to me so

what do you want to do now

uh i got a trail that goes out to abbott

pond

want to go for a hike all right

all right all right

come on where's the enthusiasm nature

hike

[Music]

get dressed you're a little weird only a

little

i must be slipping normally i reside

somewhere between a high 7.8 low 8.3 on

the weirdness scale

occasional bump up to an 8.4 when i'm in

a really rowdy mood

you're a little weird you talk a lot

yeah well you barely talk at all so

it evens us out you say so

i do

what nothing it's just

after seeing naked seems like a shame to

cover up that body with clothes

shut up is that a blush i see on miss

[Music]

shelby

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

that was the first lull in our

conversation

i don't feel too bad most people have

the small talk before

the mind willing sex so you do it in

reverse it's bound to be a little bit

awkward

i guess

when in doubt make body contact

words to live by

[Music]

this is nice i know right

come on i want to show you something

[Music]

so we had a beaver problem a while back

they were total pain in the ass but

look how precise their work was

oh come down look all right

look every tooth mark is like a perfect

little hatchet strike

think about how much time and patience

it would take to bring down a whole tree

bite by bite

come on i want to show you something

else

okay so this is something i do with my

phone

close your eyes

all right and don't answer right away

take a couple moments and clear your

mind

and then tell me how many different

sounds you can hear

okay

all right here we go um

the wind blowing through the leaves

a bird

um the water lapping against the shore

different bird

some kids playing at a house across the

pond

airplane in the distance

that's about it that's good

that's six right off the top of your

head

it's good to clear your mind just focus

every once in a while

it was the world's just one big loud

jumble of noise

close your eyes again

so have you always wanted to be a cop

hell no

no until a few years ago i was a

musician really what instrument

i played guitar in a classic country

cover band called whiskey

river what made you quit

it wasn't any one big tragic event it's

just

too many years of good but not good

enough

you know looking back i don't know if it

was

like a talent a lack of luck

i always heard you made your own luck

you know who says that

lucky people trust me

from what i've seen in my own life and

my current job bad luck

is a living breathing animal if it gets

its hooks in you

can hold on for years if it chooses to

i guess

so classic country is that like garth

brooks

oh what [ __ ] garth brooks

while we're at it [ __ ] tim mcgraw and

[ __ ] faith hill too

i'm talking willy whalen johnny

don williams tom t hall

not this pop music with a country twang

[ __ ] that they make today now country

music

used to be about the working class and

what the working class really was

you know alcoholism adultery

distracting yourself from small town

boredom with

destructive habits and now it's just

about what the working class wants to

see themselves

as you know i love my wife and i want to

sit on my porch with her and

support the troops and read the bible

and watch old glory wave in the breeze

[ __ ] that but taylor swift is good right

you're lucky you're cute i really kind

of am

so what do you do shelby well g bruce

thanks for asking

sorry my small talk skills are kind of

rusty so

what do you do shelby well cheap bruce

thanks for asking

uh i work at pendleton plastics how do

you like that

well i don't hate it which at this stage

in the game is kind of an accomplishment

but there's a sort of poetry in any job

if you look for it

is poetry and a factor y'all sure

like the mom who works four overtime

shifts to buy her kid an xbox

or the fat old guy who plays nothing but

love songs on his radio like what's his

deal

is he pining for a long lost love or is

he waiting for a love that may never

come

i don't know my old man did that blue

collar work for years and he never got

any poetry out of it just

a bad back and bad knees and a bad

disposition

well it's a matter of perspective i'll

tell you many times in life

perspective has saved me from the

consequences oh

what what happened what's the matter

a bug flew in my mouth you should

swallow it that's extra protein

i could feel its wings on my tongue see

that's what you get that's the country

god's punishing you for your shitty

taste in music

here no look a bug breath

looks delicious

so what is the first thing we do when we

get back from a nature height

celebrate our daring pioneer spirit no

take a check so they usually jump on

your pant leg and work their way up

so start there

okay check my neck they can hide

anywhere once i found one of the little

[ __ ] in my ear

nasty yeah tell me about it i thought i

had a scab

and so i went to go and pick it and it

was one of those little [ __ ] i had to

take like an hour long shower just to

get the skeeve off but not before i

smashed a little [ __ ] with a phone

book

stop using the word little what you're

saying the word little too much you're

using one

certain adjective oh yeah well here's

another one for you

stupid that's you funny

oh wait there's a tick where there oh

giant when it's crawling right on your

butt oh there's another one no there's

not another one

what the hell is that it's my karate

chop pose that's what that is

it's really intimidating you know it

you want something to drink man it's a

beat

i want to play truth or dare oh fun

i dare you to strip down naked and go

out on your deck

that's not the way it works you have to

follow proper protocol

you say truth or dare i choose then you

give me a challenge that corresponds to

said decision oh

god all right uh truth or dare dare

i dare you to strip down naked and go

out on your deck see that wasn't so hard

was it

harder than it had to be

[Music]

impressed definitely okay

your turn what no i can't take part in

public nudity i'm a duly appointed

officer of the law

it sounds to me like you're a duly

appointed officer of chicken [ __ ] oh

is this how we're doing it now yeah

that's how it is

all right i guess i can't sit here and

let my character be slandered

hmm

what's up

how does it feel very free

back to nature

is this your first time with outdoor

nudity yep

ever yep

you need to savor the moment

hold on

here help me lay this out

sit where

you're back to my chest ah gotcha

good very good

goosebumps

what gets you going like that

weird well now i have to know

all right have you ever kissed someone

and then they start to laugh right in

the middle of it

like when your lips are still pressed

together yeah i guess

for some reason when that happens it

sends this

vibration from my mouth right to my

crotch

all right well this i've got to see for

myself

okay i'm going to kiss you and when i do

i want you to tickle my hair

oh my god you're getting hard i told you

oh you're so odd

quiet

um

hmm

that was a poet i'd write a sonnet to

the majesty of this ass

that's more like it

might be like this

ugh

oh

oh god

all right you're back

oh there's that good grip

let me know when you're close i want you

to come in my mouth

um

um uh

well i don't know about you but i need

to hydrate

that behind you

don't stay out too long i don't want

your junk to get sunburned

[ __ ] thought about that

having fun under your statement of the

century

you ready for an odd compliment

hit me you have the sexiest

[ __ ] face i've ever seen really

i try not to think about it while i'm

[ __ ] i'm worried about

looking goofy and get self-conscious oh

the lack of self-consciousness is what

makes it so hot

that's why most porn does nothing for me

most porn stars are

so intent on looking flawlessly

beautiful that

they won't let their faces contort in

any way that isn't stereotypically

gorgeous

and an orgasm face is not that so what

you like the

grit teeth scrunched facial muscles look

i love it

are you still in the total honesty zone

absolutely

i'd like to stick around a little longer

if that's cool with you

it's a hundred percent cool

okay i'm gonna need to call my wife

don't use the w word i don't want

reality intruding on my fantasy time

okay i'll need to call my person

better word choice if i say i work at

overtime you should buy me the full

night

i'll take you as long as i can get you

i'll get to it then

order us some food i don't want to chase

you away with my subpar cooking

sex skills are more important than

cooking skills my sexual ego thanks

what nothing squinty mcsquinto don't

lock my handicap

they do have these things called glasses

i have them they make me look dorky

no this makes you look dorky don't call

your person

all right ready set go

not a good loser in case you hadn't

noticed yeah i just did

yeah but uh you don't get to uh

quit the race before the finish line

that bad boy up

okay

come on cannonball it cannonball

cannonball

oh whoa do you need it

i'm just trying to swallow the phone get

back up the pipe all right

you good better

let's do it again god no

next challenge the festivus feats of

strength

armor no no way in hell that's happening

oh come on why not

because i got no upside if i win i beat

a chick big deal but if i lose

i lose to a chick and then my fragile

male ego shattered

no upside oh do i smell chicken [ __ ]

oh i definitely smell a chicken chicken

calling me chicken [ __ ] it's gonna work

twice in one day

no

all right let's go let's go

we're ready i can't wait set

go oh look who's going down

[Laughter]

the cia got you pushing too many pencils

down she goes boom

[ __ ] i'm strong for a girl though

yeah you are but that's like saying

you're smart for an amphibian

so two fingers pick one

i can't have both no you're not worthy

of both

i need a manicure i have you one

no no why not i know again

no come on i've given boyfriends

manicures before one of them even let me

paint his face with makeup yeah where

are those guys now

damn defiant that's how you wear their

second dick in a bus stop men's room

oh that is entirely possible

so next we have

the grand cosmic questions of the

universe

okay okay how it works is

i ask you a question then you ask me a

question then me you

you me creating a volley not like a

verbal tennis match

okay okay so these questions can be

either

deep and profound or light and casual

an example of the latter what is your

favorite beatles song

oh [ __ ] the beatles i mean [ __ ] the

beatles

i mean [ __ ] the beatles i'm not saying

they suck i'm just saying they're

overrated

okay any band that you like was

influenced by the beatles not talking

about influence i'm talking about the

actual music

you can break their career in two halves

all right the first half day

they spent writing candy-ass love songs

for teenage girls to scream to

which basically makes them the 1950s

equivalent to justin bieber for the

backstreet boys

jesus second half they spent stoned out

of their minds doing hippy dippy drug

music

that is the era where they did their

most profound work oh bullsh yeah right

songs about kaleidoscope skies and girls

with marmalade eyes

other way around whichever just real

[ __ ] profound okay

plus then they added all that indian

string [ __ ] and sitar in

rock and roll is about guitar plain and

simple

no wrong no wrong or wrong right right

right right

which brings me to my question now that

we're talking about the guitar when are

we going to get a van halen reunion with

the four

original members right after two decades

we finally get roth back and then they

fire michael anthony so eddie can jim's

idiot son into the lineup

you know what i'm really holding out for

i'm really holding out for the reunion

with their third singer who was that

dopey guy

no what the extreme guy do not

disrespect the greatness of gary sharon

oh yeah name one good song from the game

jeremy if i wasn't afraid of boring you

i could sit here and rattle off every

song titled the van halen three much to

my eternal sugar

oh eternal chagrin good word choice

that's close enough about right

so we um going back to the beatles you

know what i feel really sorry for

john lennon all right

way to go out on the limb there feeling

sorry for the guy that got gunned down

in the street

no no no no i mean like in terms of like

historical significance

because like when you look back at their

stuff like his stuff was the stuff

that like and like his stuff versus

mccartney stuff his stuff is the stuff

that really dated you're saying one word

again

over and over his stuff is the stuff

that really dated the most like

when you look at mccartney stuff it's

about stuff that's always going to be

there

like love and regret 50 years from now

some trucker's gonna put yesterday on

his ipod 27

and just cry like a baby but when you

listen to lennon's you know imagine

you kind of want to go oh that's sweet

world please

run along and play the adults are

talking that is exactly what i was

trying to say five minutes ago

no you said they sucked no i didn't i

said they were overrated

okay well the overrated is different

than dated data doesn't have the same

negative

connotations whose turn is it

it's your turn go quick um

when you were a kid okay when you were a

kid did you ever have the nickname

spruce goose bruce

yes really no ask a dumb question get a

sarcastic

answer my turn okay well what about

loose caboose what about my turn

all right why do midgets hate being

called midgets

huh like they prefer little person

that's so condescending oh a little

person

that's terrible and dwarf that makes you

sound like a cartoon

but [ __ ] is a strong word isn't it two

syllables

short strong

it's like it sounds like hatchet [ __ ]

hatchet

small but lethal right

tell me i'm wrong it's a stronger

sounding word

okay my safe answer to that is just call

them little people and don't ever ask

that in mixed and judgmental companies

whatever it's a good word you should

enjoy it

okay own it next topic

men in urinals oh

two of my favorite toppings two-part

question

first is it true that you have to keep a

one buffer

urinal between you and the guy next to

you and

part two if that's true are you really

worried about him looking at your junk

no okay there's an unspoken rule

that if there's a wall full of empty

urinals you don't go sidling up to the

one other guy

there that's [ __ ] weird but if you're

at a concert or something like a crowded

event like a football game

like all that [ __ ] goes out the window

you have guys crossing streams in the

same stall

pissing in the sink what it's not like

it's just another drain it's like your

fingers touch the drain when you're

washing your hands yeah what about

droplet splash that's got to get all

over the faucet and the knobs

well you're in a sterile anyway and they

say you could drink it if you were

stranded on a desert island

who says that they

scientists and [ __ ] oh they they

yes they

okay all this talk of urine has my

bladder in the red alert zone

i shall return for the warning

always the wise ass never the wiser my

mother used to say that

that is that it

i sounded like there was gonna be more

to that sentence

i guess not

so

it's shelby mr bruce did you turn the

water on so i wouldn't hear you pee

shut up i was trying to be demure and

ladylike

well i will pay you the same favor only

you can switch gentlemanly and refine

for demure

and ladylike done and done

can i hold your gun that's not a toy

no i know i told you i have one of my

own i did all the basic safety courses

what kind of gun do you have

38 revolver yeah

you ever shove an automatic nope what's

the difference it's more of a kick to it

plus the cocking slide makes for pretty

badass punctuation to cool one-liners

yeah example all right

you ain't seen bad yet son but it's

coming

cool can i try

yeah let me get set up great

[Applause]

all set cowgirl okay um

hey scumbag here comes a special

delivery

um hey scumbag here comes a lead

sandwich special delivery there it is

how was that that was a good start

i do it again yeah let's build on that

no no just

tell me um okay so right there

that button is the clip release do that

first carefully i know

and there's still a live round in the

chamber so you want to slide that back

and let it pop

out

[Music]

and then i just slide the clip back in

yep

okay what you doing

got another piece of equipment i want

you to try oh yeah yeah

oh no you gotta sit first

okay

do i need to be worried about this do

you think you need to be worried

good because you know

i told you how beautiful you were in the

last five minutes you're slipping

you're beautiful

you're beautiful

beautiful

i want my arms around you let's do that

stay where they are

so

oh

ugh

um

oh

too hard

oh no just just keep going seriously

yeah

seriously

no wait wait wait hold on a second why

there's a problem and i want to see if i

can fix it easily

if it's a fuse or something i can fix it

really quick you're such a guy

wow what an insult i want to be able to

look at you

oh wow it's not just us little street's

out

oh there's a flashlight by the microwave

on the counter

i get it myself but i'm a little tied up

at the moment

master jokes are you okay yeah

it's okay i needed new retinas anyway

ugh

uh get uh uncuffed me i'll take out some

candles okay

what uh nothing

i just seem to find the keys tell me

you're kidding

i wish i was um i just hope

no you just hope what

i just hope i didn't lose him in the

woods when we were hiking

okay starting to stress here don't worry

they almost have to be in this room

somewhere you know this is where i got

dressed and undressed the most they

probably just fill out let me go

hey uh growing up did you ever have the

nickname uh

orange juice bruce no did you ever have

the nickname

shelby yeah what come on

i got nothing yeah that's one of the

benefits of being named shelby nothing

rhymes with it

though of course in high school there

was a girl named alison dembrowski and

she came up with shelby shelby can go to

[ __ ] helby that's creative

no it's not creative it's mean i mean i

got off easier than a lot of girls

there was this one fat girl named

michelle clark and

then allison nailed her with the

nickname moby clark so everywhere she

went she would yell

heart kirk crowded cafeterias sidewalks

everywhere

and then there was this girl named ellen

zabriskie she had terrible personal

hygiene so she had greasy hair and

bad acne and alison nailed her with

zit zabriskie so you just had to feel

terrible for both of them both her and

moby clark

i wonder what happened to allison i

wonder if she like mellowed out as she

got older if she has turned into a giant

mega [ __ ] are you chief

yeah you're babbling yeah i know

i'm just trying to hold off the anxiety

attack that i see right there on the

horizon

are you really gonna freak out no no why

would i freak out

i am just handcuffed to a chair 90

naked with a man i just met and the man

carries a high caliber firearm

why would i be freaking out how you

doing with those keys there

oh captain my captain i actually found

him a while ago

i want to insult you but i'm going to

wait till i get loose good strategy

hold still oh

get this one yeah got a match yep

my butt and your face so hilarious

it's been so long since i've been able

to use that one think about it how often

do you get asked for a match these days

just give me the match giggling doofus

uh you just don't appreciate fine

sophisticated humor yeah what if i heard

something

i'm at the bathroom real quick okay

what have we done when was the last time

you played checkers by candlelight

oh around 2 000 never

team good i'll get to kick someone

else's butt for a change it's usually my

son kicking mine

okay okay i'll go first

um speaking of my son you were a little

boy once right

a long time ago so let me ask you

something that whole thing with the

pounding bullets with the hammer earlier

is that something i need to be worried

about

what is it like school shooter and

training [ __ ]

yeah something like that no that's just

little boy [ __ ]

when i was a kid me and my friends put

an m80 in a coffee can

the idea being that it would shoot it

straight up in the air

50 feet like a rocket no instead it blew

completely apart

like a fragmentation grenade sent all

these flying pieces of shrapnel

everywhere

lucky it didn't cut us in half okay i

know you mean well but you're not

exactly making me feel better here

i'm just saying that little boys are

stupid and god tends to have pity on

stupid

but as long as we're going back to

things from earlier you said

uh your brother set you up on a date

yeah bad i take it

it wasn't bad it wasn't like any big

disaster or anything

it was just 40 minutes of small talk it

ended with a loose armed hug

yeah i've had a couple of those

there was this one thing though he

he would do this thing where he would he

would chew with his mouth closed but he

wouldn't fully swallow every bite before

he would shovel the next bite in

so there was like always this like

chewed piece of food

in his mouth like there's only

swallowing part of it

it was a petty thing to focus on but it

drove me nuts no no

it's the little things that can really

suck sometimes i once dated this girl

and before we went out she just painted

her nails but

she left all this excess polish like all

over her cuticles and her fingers

it looked like my four-year-old does it

and so the whole time i'm just glancing

at her fingers thinking

does she even know how bad that looks or

does she know and just not care

like what is that hmm where'd you meet

that winner

internet dating how else do people meet

each other nowadays

what i just have a hard time picturing

you computer dating

why i'm a modern 21st century man

i'll tell you what though it totally

destroyed that whole manor shower

more shower than women cliche oh

[ __ ] bull true

men are show about looks and weight

women are shallow about looks weight

height and income

so you date a woman taller than you yeah

for sure she was hot enough for sure

have you ever seen those amazon chicks

that uh play for the olympic volleyball

team

any one of them would [ __ ] you in half

yeah i know but what a proud and noble

way to go

you you said you have a four-year-old

yeah is that your only kid

no i have a three-year-old too

hence the vasectomy both girls

one of each what are their names

come on a couple of hours ago i had your

balls in my mouth you don't get to play

the too personal card

it's not that it's too personal i just

don't like talking about it with anyone

for some reason i always have to i

always feel like i have to

say how great everything is going

when i usually don't feel that way i

i usually feel like a fraud

who has no idea what he's doing

we all feel that way sometimes yeah but

with me it's not sometimes

i don't know

it's hard to admit

she never worries

and i worry so much to the point that

i never get to enjoy the process

i honestly can't remember the last time

i felt happy

about it all

it's like the way i'm supposed to feel

and the way i actually feel

are two very separate things

she'll show me a cute picture or video

of the kids

and i know the reaction that she wants

and i give it to her

but i'm totally faking it

and i feel like [ __ ] because i'm faking

it

i guess i always feel like [ __ ] about

some aspect of it

it makes me sound like an [ __ ]

doesn't it

no no it makes you sound like someone

who

had a hole in their life who filled it

with what they thought they should

or with what someone expected them to

yeah that is kind of it i guess

i still think it makes me less of a man

in some way

we all like to think that we're these

perfect angels of virtue

but really we're just

flawed train wrecks barely keeping it

together

i know when my husband was dying

at the end when things were at their

worst

i wasn't there for him as much as i

should have been

there were some days that i just

couldn't handle it

i wonder what he must have thought on

those days when i just

didn't show up how much that must have

hurt even though he never

showed it

oh that's family

we [ __ ] up we forgive each other

we [ __ ] up again

yeah it's just not an easy truth to live

with

well of course i never met the guy but

with him getting to marry you

start a family with you and wake up

every morning to you

i bet he probably died a pretty happy

and satisfied man

well

lean over what

kiss break

get used to this

but then

can you remember we only have a few

hours until daylight and reality hits us

in the face

yeah back to perspective

a few hours can be a lifetime if we use

it right

for example

um

uh ugh

no

it's amazing

it's better than any truck

it's fine

thank you

just the feeling

crazy

tell me

ah

[Laughter]

ugh

let's see

c

you

okay

um

everything

so

are you awake

how soon do you have to leave

soon

now ish actually

i'll be right back

[Music]

so yeah

what do you see happening after you go

down that driveway

total honesty

[Music]

i see you picking up your son and i see

me going back to my family

and i see the both of us going back to

our normal

boring routines and our normal boring

problems and if at some point i should

run into you in town then smile at you

if i'm by myself and if i'm with my wife

then i'll avoid eye contact and

the both of us will hold on to our time

together as a

treasured secret that we used to get us

through the sad times

so you want to happen god no what

what i wanted to go on feeling the way i

felt for the last 24 hours

i'm not gonna be able to talk you into

this am i

no i don't know

not right now anyway

all right then

stay with me and that means exactly what

you think it does

that's a tempting offer but there's no

way i can do that

sure you can i'm not drunk and i'm not

crazy

yeah that's exactly what someone drunk

or crazy would say

let's take a leap of faith that we're

both good people

[Music]

i don't take advantage the only thing

you'd be taking advantage of is my

moment of clarity

[Music]

[Music]

um

[Music]

hey judith it's me

uh yeah um i just wanted to let you know

that i'm gonna be over to pick up josh

in about an hour

yeah um we can get everyone together

tonight sure

yeah pizza and a movie sound good

okay um yeah i'll give dawn a call too

okay

uh yeah thanks um

it was really good um the best night

i've had in a while

okay i'll see in a bit

okay

ugh

[Applause]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Music]

ah let's show you

[Music]

so

[Music]

so

you