All language subtitles for Batman S02E29 The Cat s Meow.DVDVRip.NonHI.en.WB

It's 7:00 in the morning...

and Gotham City is rubbing
the sleep out of its eyes...

preparing to meet the new day.

But in the studios of KGC-TV...

Harry Upps has his morning
show already in progress.

And one of the primary functions
of the Wayne Foundation Fund...

is to support and supplement
local recreational activities.

We believe that through physical
fitness and organized sport...

we can help the youth of
Gotham City help themselves.

That's very
admirable, Mr. Wayne.

Your foundation is
doing marvelous work.

Now, if you'll pardon
me for just 60 seconds.

- A word from the sponsor?
- Exactly.

There wouldn't be a highly-rated Harry
Upps Morning Show without the sponsors.

Friends, the rainy
season is almost upon us...

and if you ever get
caught in the downpour...

just reach for a
Stay-Dry Umbrella.

Stay-Dry has been making
umbrellas for 64 years now.

I, um... I know that it's supposed to be
bad luck to open an umbrella indoors...

but, heh, heh, I'll
take that chance...

because I'd like you to see
the beautiful workmanship...

that goes into this
Stay-Dry Umbrella.

Please note the...

Looks like Harry
Upps has lost his voice.

This may be the work of
one of our archenemies.

But which one? An umbrella usually means
the Penguin's waddling around somewhere.

And this is a riddle: "What's
black and white and full of fuzz?"

- Zebra, zebra, zebra?
- No, a squad car.

Yes, speaking of squad cars...

Commissioner Gordon
always watches this program.

He should be calling
us any second.

Are we on the air?

Due to circumstances
beyond anyone's control...

we now switch you
to our midday movie:

The Big Green Thing
That Devoured Pittsburgh.

I'm sorry, sir, he's not
here at the moment.

Uh, taking his morning
constitutional, I fancy.

Oh, begging your pardon,
sir, here is Batman now.

Yes, you're calling about what
happened on the morning show.

- Why, yes, how did you know?
- I viewed the entire affair.

A criminal has to get up pretty early
in the morning to outwit you, Batman.

Check on the location of
Joker, Riddler and Penguin.

We'll meet you in your
office as soon as possible.

To the Batpoles.

It's really an
ordinary umbrella...

with a mild electric shock
device build into the handle.

Hardly enough to cause
a man to lose his speech.

Well, he's not in any pain, but he
can't say a word for the life of him.

A serious detriment
for an announcer.

Poor man has been checked from
toenails to tonsils but all to no avail.

I think we should concentrate on
who did it rather than how it was done.

Commissioner, did you
follow my suggestion?

Indeed, Batman, but the Joker, the Riddler
and the Penguin are all three in jail.

- Wasn't any of them.
- Hm. May we take this with us?

Of course, by all means.

Perhaps one of the
instruments in the Batcave...

may be able to shed some
light on this baffling puzzle.

It's our only clue.
Let's go, Robin.

I don't believe there ever
have been or ever will be...

two such selfless people.

Well, they've certainly made my
job a whole lot easier, commissioner.

And mine. I think
if I were to ask...

Batman would give me
the cape right off his back.

What a man.

Yes, Bonnie?

Oh, by all means,
yes, send her in.

Hello, Commissioner
Gordon, Chief O'Hara.

Catwoman. Hello, hello, hello.

- Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Eenie.
- Hi, commish.

- Meanie, Miney and Moe.
- We're pleased to meet you.

- Commissioner Gordon.
- And Chief O'Hara.

I'm delighted to learn of your new
venture into the world of show business.

- Oh, yes, and, you know...
- Ha, ha.

It's so much safer
on this side of the law.

Show business is such a
rewarding profession. Ha, ha.

Ha-ha-ha. Tell me, what
do you call yourselves?

Catwoman and the
Kittens. Ha, ha! Catchy.

- Don't you think?
- Oh, yes, yes, quite.

We'd love to have you perform at the
Police Benevolent Society Ball. Will you?

With the greatest of
pleasure, it'll be our debut.

We'll put on a performance
you'll never forget.

I categorically
promise you that.

Tell me, do Batman and
Robin know I've been sprung?

Oh, dear, I had
intended telling them...

but it completely slipped my mind in
the throes of this morning's incidents.

Well, do me a favor, commissioner.
Let it be our secret for the nonce. Meow.

Batman will learn about it
soon enough. Come on, kittens.

Goodbye, Commissioner
Gordon, Chief O'Hara.

Until we meet again. Here's
a kiss to build a dream on.

I just don't know,
commissioner...

what with her being back in town
and all that commotion this morning.

Do you suppose she
could be the cause of it?

Oh, nonsense, Chief O'Hara, I can
tell a reformed woman when I see one.

And there is a reformed woman.

And in Catwoman's lair
adjoining Duncan's Dance Studio...

Yeow! Isn't it simply too
delicious for words? Ha, ha.

Do you really think we'll
be able to get away with it?

Of course we will.

Didn't I snatch that silly announcer's
voice this morning without a hitch?

Eenie, get me his voice.

I'll take that chance because
I would like you to see...

the beautiful workmanship that
goes into this Stay-Dry Umbrella.

Please note the...

So where did it get us? You risked
getting caught just to pull a prank.

Prank?

Eenie, sometimes I think you
left your brain in San Francisco.

I did it to take
suspicion away from us.

And set the wheels of justice skidding
in the wrong direction. Ha-ha-ha.

When we complete this caper...

we're gonna have enough
money to keep us in catnip forever.

Or else I'm gonna give the whole world
a severe case of permanent laryngitis.

Fellas, are you sure that article
didn't mention where they're staying?

- "The popular singing duo..."
- "Chad and Jeremy..."

"Are coming to Gotham City to
appear at the Police Society Ball."

"Due to anticipated
rush of their fans..."

"Accommodations for Chad
and Jeremy are being kept secret."

Get the commissioner
on the phone.

Are you nuts? You ask him
anything, he'll suspect you for sure.

Let's get something straight.

Catwoman is top dog around
here and let's not forget it, Eenie.

Hello, Catwoman,
what can I do for you?

You can tell me where Chad and Jeremy are
staying while they're here in Gotham City.

Oh, no, no. I couldn't do that. It's
top-secret information, very hush-hush.

You don't trust
me? I'm deeply hurt.

I thought you, of all people,
would give solace to an ex-convict.

Is there any particular
reason you want to know?

I wanna make certain we won't
perform any of the same songs they will.

You want this show to
be a success, don't you?

Well, since you put it that way.

They'll be at the home of millionaire
Bruce Wayne, stately Wayne Manor. But look:

You must promise not to
divulge this information to anyone.

I give you my word
as a lady and a scholar.

Tell me, commissioner...

they call you the voice of authority
in Gotham City, do they not?

At times, yes, yes,
why do you ask?

And if you couldn't speak, it might severely
cripple your effectiveness, would it not?

- What do you mean?
- Just say bye-bye, commissioner.

No more pompous
prattle from you.

Hello?

You can win a
free dance lesson...

at the Duncan Dance Studios if
you answer this simple question.

- Sorry, I'm not interested in dance lessons.
- Wait a minute, Dick.

The junior prom's
coming up, isn't it?

- Yes, but...
- We don't want you to be a wallflower, do we?

Dancing is an integral part of
every young man's education.

Gosh, Bruce, you're
right, but dancing?

- All right, miss, what's the question?
- Who painted Whistler's Mother?

Why, Whistler, of course.

Congratulations.

- You mean, that's it?
- That's it.

- When do I get my lesson?
- I'll be right over.

Can you imagine that? First
time in my life I ever won anything.

Heh. Congratulations.

I have to go to the store to pick up
a tube for the Bat-sound analyzer...

we can't make a move
without it. Back in a hour.

Okay.

- One, two, three.
- Ow.

Sorry. You'll get the hang of
it. You're doing just fine, fine.

I don't think I'll ever learn to dance,
Ms. Klutz. I don't have natural rhythm.

Balderdash. Ha, ha. You'll
pardon the expression, now...

I'm a little out of breath.
Could we take a break?

Certainly.

Very nice place you have here,
Master Grayson. Very homey.

Fourteen bathrooms, 18 bedrooms.

- How many entrances are there to the place?
- Three.

Why are you asking all these
questions about the house?

You seem more interested in the layout of
Wayne Manor than giving me a dancing lesson.

When I get through with
you, Master Grayson...

I'll have taught you
one heck of a lesson.

What are those things there?

- Dogwood, why?
- Dog...? I am allergic to...

Why, you're no dance
teacher, you're Catwoman.

Oh! Mercy me.

And at Gotham City Airport...

England's singing sensations,
Chad and Jeremy, are due to arrive.

- Have no fear.
- Chad and Jeremy are here.

Oh, aren't they just the most
adorable twosome in the world?

If you don't count
Batman and Robin.

- What do you think of the States so far?
- Do us a favor, we've been here two minutes.

And sometimes it takes us as long as half
an hour to get to really know a country.

- About that haircut of yours, Jeremy.
- What haircut?

I haven't had a trim in weeks.

Actually, he wears it that way so
people won't confuse him with his mom.

Yeah, she's bald, poor thing.

- Is that right?
- Yeah, that's right.

What are your plans after your
appearance in Gotham City?

We're going straight back home.

We've gotta do a command
performance for the queen.

Respect In hating an enemy

Catwoman.

It's nice to see a responsible
citizen like you for a change.

Thank you, sergeant.

Am I a living symbol
of your youth?

Come on, kittens, let's get out of here. Too
many bluecoats for us to get away with it.

Get away with what, Catwoman?

- We still don't know your plan.
- You will, Eenie. Let's go.

Become clear As you
see me sitting there

- What is your favorite group?
- Oh. Chamber of commerce.

- PTA, that sort of thing.
- Yes. Heh.

You might all have
slept for a week...

had I not administered
the universal drug antidote.

Holy Rip van Winkle.

One good thing did come of it, Robin.
We now know who our adversary is.

Poor Commissioner Gordon,
he was so taken in by Catwoman.

Mm. She's a very beautiful,
very enthralling woman, Robin.

When you get older,
you'll see how easy it is...

to become lured by the
female of the species.

"Duncan Dance Studios, tango's
our specialty, 3741 Laurel Avenue."

To the Batmobile.

Meantime, it's tea time for
Wayne Manor houseguests.

- There you are. I hope you like it.
- Thank you.

Help yourself to
cream and sugar.

I always think tea is
so civilized, don't you?

I didn't realize this custom
had reached the colonies.

Oh, my, yes, we serve
tea every afternoon.

- Oh, great.
- When Bruce told me...

that you were going to
stay here, I'd expected...

Don't tell me, you expected
two grubby morons...

to come barging in here and start
smashing up the place, didn't you?

Well, I... Heh.

All right, Chad, start slashing cushions,
I'll go deal with the crockery in the kitchen.

Right.

Don't worry, love, we're not really
like that, you know, it's just our image.

Oh...

You know, it's funny. But just because our
fans are occasionally over-demonstrative...

people expect us to be
the same way. Thank you.

Well, for instance, Chad
here was a medical student...

and I was reading for the law
when our first record came out.

We hope to go back to school as soon
as we can to complete our education.

- Mustn't be a dropout.
- Don't be a dropout. Yes.

Just think of it: Every
record our fans buy...

brings me another notch closer
to becoming a brain surgeon.

Well, mercy alive.

We can't appear at
the Police Ball now.

Not after you stole the
commissioner's voice.

Everybody knows you
haven't really gone straight.

Why don't you steal Batman's
voice while you're at it?

Never.

One of the few joys I have in life
is when his rich manly baritone...

caresses my ears with,
"Catwoman, you're under arrest."

Oh, it makes everything
worthwhile. Ha, ha.

Well, they're going to track us
down, Catwoman. Sure as shooting.

They'll be at the dance studio
in two shakes of a cat's tail.

- And we just wait here?
- Never you mind, my terrible trio of tabbies.

Fear not. I have
everything under control.

Batman and Robin, it will
be their final performance.

Now, I want you two to
pretend you're customers.

And I want you...

No, no, no, I'm sorry. You
see, the Watusi is definitely out.

Now, maybe I can interest you in one of our
seven-year courses in Magyar folk dances?

Citizen.

Ha, ha. Well, well,
well. If it isn't, uh...

And, um...

Oh, isn't that awful? I know your
names as well as I know my own.

Benton Belgoody.

- Batman.
- And Robin.

Well, how could I forget a thing... Of
course, what can I do for you, Robin?

We're here to see Ms. Klutz,
she's one of your dance instructors.

Oh, yeah, well, I'm afraid
that's impossible right now.

You see, with all the new
dance steps on the way out...

she's busy trying to find
something that's on the way in.

Just tell her Batman and
Robin are here, Mr. Belgoody.

And tell her fast.

Well, my, my, there's a little bit of the
devil in you, isn't there, young man? Ha, ha.

Just as I suspected, Robin,
she's up to her old tricks.

Catwoman, can't you
see the folly of your ways?

With your beauty and intelligence,
you could go much further...

helping your fellow man
rather than harming him.

A bit of whimsy that escapes me at
the moment, Batman. Get him, guys.

- You know something?
- Hm?

If he weren't such an old stick
in the mud, I might let him live.

But I think I can handle Batman. It's
just that Robin's all work and no play.

You know, maybe I can
fix you up with Robin. Heh.

No, it'd never work,
he's too young.

At that age, all they're
interested in is baseball.

Now, are you ready to
come quietly, Catwoman?

I guess so, Batman.

Batman, can I ask you a favor before
you send me up the river without a paddle?

What is that?

Can I freshen up a
little bit with makeup?

I mean, my image might be damaged
if I was seen in public with a shiny nose.

Yes, go ahead. But don't
try anything untoward.

Holy Heidelberg, what
did she do that for?

I afraid we've been
drugged, Robin.

I guess you can
never trust a woman.

You've made a hasty generalization,
Robin, it's a bad habit to get into.

But in this situation,
it's entirely apr...

Apr...

Apropos.

Wake up, little beddy-byes.

Have you been beddy-bye?

Catwoman.

I'd advise you to yap
as little as possible, boys.

You've been encased in an enormous
echo chamber weighing two tons.

Every sound in there will
be magnified 10 million times.

Even your breathing will
sound like thunder. Ha, ha.

And don't bother
looking for your utility belt.

I've had it burned. Ha-ha-ha!

- So, what's the purpose, CW?
- It's so that the drip...

Why can't I get good help?

Moe, turn on the faucet.

I'm sure you recognize this as a variation
of the legendary Chinese water torture.

When I throw that switch the
noise will become excruciating.

And your eardrums
will be shattered.

Shortly following that your
brains will be turned into "yuch."

And then I shall return...

and then you can be
mine forever, Batman.

True, I'll have to
sacrifice your intellect.

Oh, well, with a build
like yours, who cares?

After all, one can't have
one's cake and eat it too. Heh.

Ta-ta.