Original subtitles

Roll up, roll up for the magical mystery tour,

step right this way

Roll up...

Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour

that's an invitation

to make a reservation

The magical mystery tour is waiting to take you away

waiting to take you away

Roll up...

Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour

got everything you need

satisfaction guaranteed

The magical mystery tour is hoping to take you away

hoping to take you away

When a man buys a ticket for a magical mystery tour�

He knows what to expect.

We guarantee him the trip of a lifetime.

And that�s just what he gets�

The incredible MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR

The magical mystery tour

Roll up...

Roll up, roll up for the mystery tour

that's an invitation

to make a reservation

The magical mystery tour

is coming to take you away

coming to take you away

The magical mystery tour

is dying to take you away

dying to take you away

take you today...

Ceaseless nagging! Come on, we're going to be late

I can�t go any quicker

Stop it!

Come on!

Richard B. Starkey and his aunt, Jessica

are always arguing about one thing or another

Oh, I'm going!

- Oh, go! Go on!

And what with today being Sunday

and the weather looking up�

you�d think they�d have given it a rest

For goodness' sake, Will you stop that sitting down?

All right, all right. What�s your hurry?

But no. On and on they go

Good morning, said Richard

�Good Afternoon, sir,� said the courier

They were late.

'Allo, Flo, you all right, girl? I'll sit here.

Yes, I'll have the window seat - All right, so you'll have the window seat!

Good Morning, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls

Welcome to the

Magical Mystery Tour!

I am your courier... Jolly Jimmy Johnson!

- All my friends call me Jolly Jimmy - And you are all my friends

Over here is your hostess, that lovely, delightful, delectable

Wendy Winters

And over here is our driver for the trip - that wonderful driver

we hope�

Alf! Off you go, Alf! Here we go now. Splendid!

Fasten your seat belts please Away-way-way we go

Away we go, Alf, splendid! Very comfy in the back there, is it? Lovely

I say it's lovely.

Get the popcorns (your popcorn) out.

Right had arm (hand down). There we are. Splendid. And away we go.

Anyway, I�ll tell you something You ain�t coming away with me anymore

Who bought the tickets for this trip? I did.

Yeah, with my money. (I gave you the money)

I bought them.I�m taking you out. You're not taking me anywhere.

Remember that. I gave you the money, darling

And you�ve done nothing but eye all the fellows on the coach

since we got here

I dunno, since Uncle Jack died, you�ve never been the same.

Of course I ain�t, �cause I ain�t got Uncle Jack, have I?

I gotta get somebody else, haven�t I? - I remember him... I remember him...

If I ain't got him, I've got to get somebody else. You should know, you're old enough at 21!

You should do a bit of knitting, It�d do you good.

Who for? You?

Should I knit for you?

No, don�t knit for me

Who is that man?

Oh, that�s Mr. Bloodvessel

He�s quite harmless. He comes on all the trips

He thinks he�s the (a) courier

Last time (trip) he thought he was the driver

You know when I saw your first film, I really thought you had something

But it was... I was only about six...

Wasn�t it �Blue Lady�? �LADY IN BLUE� Something like that?

How old are you? Myself, I'm 30...

but I look a little younger due to the Fair Isle sweater which...

Excuse me, sir...

I�d like to take a photograph of the young lady. Do you mind?

I don't mind if Miss Gabriella doesn't. Well, Miss Gabriella doesn't mind.

Can I have you up there?

My lucky day!

Day after day

Alone on a hill

The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still

But nobody wants to know him

They can see that he's just a fool

And he never gives an answer

But the fool on the hill

Sees the sun going down

And the eyes in his head

See the world spinning 'round

Well on his way

Head in a cloud

The man with a thousand voices

talking perfectly loud

But nobody ever hear him

or the sound he appears to make

and he never seems to notice

But the fool on the hill

Sees the sun going down

And the eyes in his head

See the world spinning 'round

And nobody seems to like him

they can tell what he wants to do

and he never shows his feeling

But the fool on the hill

Sees the sun going down

And the eyes in his head

See the world spinning 'round

And he never listens to them

He knows that they're the fools

They don't like him

The fool on the hill

Sees the sun going down

And the eyes in his head

See the world spinning 'round

Good morning, lads and lasses

My name is Miss Winters

Good morning, Miss Winters Miss Winters, Miss Winters

Yes, I just wanted to say

If there�s anything I can do for you�

you know what to do...

We at the Magical Mysteries

only have your best interest at heart

and your every wish is our command.

thank you...

As the bus leaves the town

behind and heads for the country�

Everything begins to change

Well, almost everything

And already the magic is beginning to work

(The army sergeant is speaking unintelligible nonsense)

Jolly good...

(Still speaking nonsense)

Why?

Why?

Why?

(Still speaking nonsense)

and get your bloody hair cut!

Jolly good, Sarge, carry on...

On your marks... Get set...

Go!

Second gear! Come on!

Who's getting in that car? Who is it?

Come on, come on. We've gotta win those with the bikes!

Stop it! Out of the road, you stupid... He's picking the vicars up!

Hold on, we've got 'em now, folks!

If you look to your left, ladies and gentlemen

the view is not very inspiring

Ah... but if you look to the (your) right�

Beyond the blue horizon

far above the clouds�

in a land that no one knows�

Live four or five magicians�

Who spend their days casting wonderful spells

Come with me now into that secret place�

Where the eyes of man have never set foot

Where�s the bus?

Where�s the bus?

Where�s the bus?

It�s coming

Where�s the bus?

The bus...

The bus is ten miles north on the Jewsbury (Dewsbury) Road

It�s only ten miles away.

Bus... ten miles! Soon be here.

Oh, ladies and gentlemen, quickly, look to your left

Now there you see the ancient Roman ruins

Now they really have been there an awful long time

They are, in fact, a little difficult to see

because they�re almost flattened to the ground

Meanwhile, back on the bus, things are happening and life lobbies on.

Indeed, the magic is so powerful

that even Mr. Bloodvessel emerges from his shell

He turns to speak

If I may take the liberty, Mister

Be my guest - Give over!

My dear lady...

My dear lady, doesn�t intuition tell you what I feel?

Don�t interrupt...

You bring out my�

I...

I love you!!

I am the courier

good morning... men... and... women...

welcome...

I am your friendly courier

Mr Bloodvessel is my name

Buster Bloodvessel

I am concerned for you

to enjoy yourselves�

Within the limits of British decency

You know what I mean

don�t you?

Well, don�t you?

Yes, Mr. Bloodvessel

I am he as you are he as you are me

and we are all together

See how they run like pigs from a gun

see how they fly

I'm crying

Sitting on a cornflake

waiting for the van to come

Corporation t-shirts, stupid bloody Tuesday

Man, you've been a naughty boy, you let your face grow long

I am the eggman

they are the eggmen

I am the walrus

Mister City P'liceman sitting

Pretty little policemen in a row

See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky

see how they run

I'm crying

I'm cry

Yellow matter custard

dripping from a dead dog's eye

Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess

Boy, you been a naughty girl and you let your knickers down

I am the eggman

they are the eggmen

I am the walrus

Sitting in an English garden

waiting for the sun

If the sun don't come, you get a tan from

Standing in the English rain

I am the eggman

they are the eggmen

I am the walrus

Expert texpert choking smokers

Don't you think the joker laughs at you?

See how they smile like pigs in a sty

see how they snide

I'm crying

Semolina Pilchard

climbing up the Eiffel Tower

Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna

Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe

I am the eggman

they are the eggmen

I am the walrus

What about Five little Dickie birds sitting on your head...

one named Charlie and one named Fred. Yes.

Do that one then. You do it with me.

OK. Five little Dickie birds sitting on your head, one named...

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, whoops! Charlie, whoops! Charlie, Charlie...

- Can you do that one? - No.

Yes - No!

Yes - No!

I�ve got a present for you, do you know what it is?

No

Have a guess

No

Come on, have a guess

No

Have a guess

No

Have a guess!

No!

Well, you�re going to get it anyway

What's that? Wait a Mo, wait a Mo.

Do you want to blow it?

No

All right, should we give it to George?

Yeah

There you are, George.

Thank you

George, George, George, George, Oops! George, Oops! George, George...

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please?

Our estimated time of arrival for luncheon is approximately one fifteen

thank you

Now, shut up

Shut up to me!

I�ve had enough of it!

I can�t stand it any more! I�m getting off! Off!

Don�t get hysterical

Aunt Jessie�s hungry

And she�s dreaming

She�s dreaming about food

food

food

Beautiful food

Oh, lettuce (food)...

potatoes (food)...

apples (food)...

food

oh lovely food

Lots and lots of spaghetti

This time I mean it

I can�t breathe any more.

It�s too much

All this mud

in forty-five minutes?

I can hardly get my breath

It�s intake, Jessie

not output

I am, I am! I am already

Three times this week already

For goodness sake

Jessie, sit down

remember...

I don�t care!

This is the way he would have wanted it

Penendello (Pirandello), help me up the stairs

Yes, lady.

Wake up, Jessie

It�s time to go

There's no business like show business, there's no business I know.

Everything about it is so appealing.

Let's go on wit' show.

Ta da!

Here we are again!

Everybody up and quickly in your seats.

There's a fog upon L.A.

And my friends have lost their way

We'll be over soon they said

Now they've lost themselves instead

Please don't be long

please don't you be very long

Please don't be long

or I may be asleep

Well it only goes to show

Ask a policeman on the street

Ask a policeman on the street

There's so many there to meet

Please don't be long

please don't you be very long

Please don't be long

or I may be asleep

Now it's past my bed I know

And I'd really like to go

Soon will be the break of day

Sitting here in Blue Jay Way

Please don't be long

please don't you be very long

Please don't be long

or I may be asleep

Please don't be long

please don't you be very long

Please don't be long

Well, well, well

They are a happy crowd

Come on, come on (Go on. Come along)

Back on the bus... come on

Oh! I wonder what the magicians are cooking up now?

Ready!

Tea up, fellas.

Talk about your magical mysteries�

I've spent half an hour looking for that sugar

I was (spent) half an hour looking for that (the) sugar

Is there one for me?

Aye, there's one over here, Richie (Richard)

Oh, how are you, Bonzo? All right?

Any news of the bus?

The bus? It's ten miles north on the Jewsbury (Dewsbury) Road

And they�re having a lovely time

they�re having a lovely time

they�re having a lovely time

Could you tell me what�s next on the agenda?

A Song

No, no

not you

Them!

On the bus!

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts! Have you then? Ah!

There they are a-standing in a row!

Come on, join in. What�s the matter with you?

Toot Toot Tootsie goodbye!...

Val-deri, Val-dera, Val-deri, Val-dera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...

When Irish eyes are smiling...

Ladies and gentlemen,

when the coach stops,

would the gentlemen please follow Mr. Johnson?

And the ladies stay with me

Here we are now, off we go.

In for a jolly evening with Jolly Jimmy. This way!

Everybody comfortable?

Come on, where are they?

That night Cutie called a cab

baby don't do that

She left her East Side room so drab

baby don't do that

She went out on the town

Knowin' it would make her lover frown

Death-cab for Cutie

Death-cab for Cutie

Someone's gonna make

you pay your fare

The cab was racin' through the night

baby don't do that

His eyes in the mirror, keepin' Cutie in sight

baby don't do that

When he saw Cutie, it gave him a thrill

Don't you know, baby curves can kill

Death-cab for Cutie

Death-cab for Cutie

Someone's gonna make you pay your fare

Cutie, don't you play with fate

Don't leave your lover alone

If you go out on this date

His heart will turn to stone

Bad girl, Cutie, what have you done

baby don't do that

Slippin' slidin' down-a Highway 31

baby don't do that

he traffic lights changed from green to red

They tried to stop but they both wound up dead

Death-cab for Cutie

Death-cab for Cutie

Someone's gonna make you pay your fare

Someone's gonna make you pay your fare

Someone's gonna make you pay your fare

Let's all get up and dance to a song

That was a hit before your mother was born

Though she was born a long, long time ago

Your mother should know

Your mother should...

Your mother should know

Sing it again

Let's all get up and dance to a song

That was a hit before your mother was born

Though she was born a long, long time ago

Your mother should know

Your mother should...

Your mother should know

Lift up your hearts and sing me a song

That was a hit before your mother was born

Though she was born a long, long time ago

Your mother should know

Your mother should...

Your mother should know

Your mother should know

Your mother should...

Your mother should know

Sing it again

Though she was born a long, long time ago

Your mother should know

Your mother should...

Your mother should know

Your mother should know

Your mother should...

Your mother should know

Your mother should know

Your mother should...

Your mother should know

Roll up...

roll up for the mystery tour

that's an invitation

to make a reservation

roll up for the mystery tour

The magical mystery tour

is coming to take you away

coming to take you away

The magical mystery tour

is dying to take you away

dying to take you away

take you today

And that was a Magical Mystery Tour

I told ya

Goodbye