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MUSIC: It Must Be Love
by Madness
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# I never thought I'd miss you
3
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# Half as much
4
00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:13,960
# As I do
5
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:23,599
# And I never thought I'd feel
this way
6
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:25,080
# The way I feel
7
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# About you
8
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# As soon as I wake up
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# Every night
10
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# Every day
11
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# I know that it's you I need
12
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# To take the blues away
13
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# It must be love
14
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,200
# Love, love. #
15
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CHOIR: # It must be love, love, love
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# It must be love, love love
17
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# Nothing more, nothing less
18
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# Love is the best. #
19
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Good. That was really clean.
20
00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,679
We can only do so many
a capella numbers, Louise.
21
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,079
We've not got the pitch for it.
22
00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,919
Er, speak for yourself, thanks.
23
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It's a great idea, love. I just
don't think we've got the time.
24
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:26,879
What for?
25
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,360
A Valentine's fundraiser for a new
piano. Oh.
26
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:31,799
I can handle most of it.
27
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,239
You just need to spread the word.
28
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,359
Are you sure you wanna celebrate
Valentine's this year, after...
29
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:37,759
..you know?
30
00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:39,320
I'm over Gary now.
31
00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:42,680
Or I will be.
32
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:45,759
Gary would have said what
you're saying.
33
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:48,519
"You can't organise a party in
a few days.
34
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"You need to plan ahead, Emma."
35
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And you want to prove him wrong?
36
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,080
Maybe. But you're over him.
37
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I just want to do something nice.
38
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SHE SIGHS
OK.
39
00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:03,479
OK?
40
00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:06,879
OK. Whatever you need,
just let me know.
41
00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:09,639
Thank you. You won't regret this.
42
00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:13,039
I'm a Libra, Louise.
It's in my blood to spread love.
43
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,599
Ooh. What about you,
Danny? You Libra too?
44
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,519
Nah, I'm a bit
Valentine's-intolerant,
45
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,319
to be honest. Danny! Well, it's
a load of rubbish, in't it?
46
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:21,719
If I fancy someone, I'll tell 'em.
47
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,439
I don't need to wait
till February 14th
48
00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,679
to buy some overpriced chocolates
and half-dead flowers.
49
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,279
Well, this is a cheery room.
50
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,279
Tom! Hi, babes.
51
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:31,639
We're heading off.
52
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:33,759
The hall is all yours.
53
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,719
Tom, do you remember Danny?
The year above us at school?
54
00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:38,799
Er... yeah! Hi!
55
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:40,479
You're the one who did
the magic trick
56
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:42,839
at Miss Brebner's leaving
assembly.
57
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:43,919
Correct.
58
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Can't forget that.
59
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Tried. Couldn't.
60
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:47,599
Yeah.
61
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,279
So much blood. Anyway...
62
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,119
And so many ferrets.
Emma, you were saying...
63
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,319
Yes, er, Valentine's Day.
64
00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:55,599
Oh, I love it.
65
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,799
Chocolates, the flowers,
the mystery.
66
00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:00,279
We're throwing a Valentine's
fundraiser.
67
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,959
Monday night, ticket's a tenner
68
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,399
and you get a buffet and a glass of
Prosecco.
69
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,959
Sign me up. Ooh! Our first guest.
70
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:08,279
Right, come on, hurry up.
71
00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:09,999
Got a gaggle of stagey
eight-year-olds
72
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,159
arriving in ten minutes.
73
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,240
See you Monday.
74
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,720
Good to see you, Danny.
Yeah, yeah, you too.
75
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:25,719
Everything all right, mate?
76
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:26,800
Yeah.
77
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:33,640
CHAT SHOW ON TV
78
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,839
PHONE VIBRATES
79
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,679
Who's that?
80
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:45,159
Emma. She wants us to do the raffle.
81
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:46,479
It'll be fun.
82
00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:50,279
Our first Valentine's day as
a married couple.
83
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,559
Did he like Valentine's Day?
84
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:53,879
Who?
85
00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:55,759
The guy who broke your heart.
86
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,679
Nathan?
87
00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,200
Yeah, he did.
88
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,399
Did you love him?
89
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,999
Nathan's in the past.
90
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,159
Are you still in touch?
91
00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:09,639
No. He moved down to Devon.
92
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,600
We wrote letters for a bit.
93
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,040
You coming to bed?
94
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:18,360
I'll be up in a bit.
95
00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:05,599
I've booked a DJ
96
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,999
and we've got the brewery
throwing in a few kegs
97
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,479
and the pub are sorting us out
with some buffet bits.
98
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,759
Do you want to know how many tickets
we've sold?
99
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:16,399
Er, I've got a feeling you're going
to tell me. 42! Ah!
100
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:20,239
I mean, it's a bit sad they didn't
have any other plans, to be honest.
101
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:23,079
Now, what do you think about
a centrepiece?
102
00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:24,839
Something they won't expect.
103
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,799
Like a fire-breather.
104
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,039
No mime artists, though.
105
00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:30,359
I had a bad experience once in
Covent Garden.
106
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,079
That's why I don't trust London.
107
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,279
HE CHUCKLES
108
00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,839
What? No, nothing, nothing.
You're...
109
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:38,919
..you're good at this.
110
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,799
Gary used to say I was
a bit too much.
111
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,560
Yeah, well, you know my views
on Gary.
112
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,079
You going to come, then?
HE GROANS
113
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,239
Tom'll be there. And?
114
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,439
And he's looking pretty good
these days.
115
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,559
Yeah, he always looked good.
So what?
116
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,360
PHONE VIBRATES
117
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:55,799
Ooh. It's Ralph.
118
00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:57,280
Code red. Got to go.
119
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,999
OK, so his name's Nathan.
What does that matter?
120
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,239
He's just an ex.
121
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,119
You had a girlfriend before
Katie, right?
122
00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:15,559
Yeah.
123
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:16,720
I didn't love her.
124
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,519
She didn't send me letters from
Devon.
125
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:24,319
Well, no, but probably because
she was from Braithwaite.
126
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,799
Look, I don't know what you're
worried about, mate.
127
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:27,959
Nathan's in the past.
128
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,720
And no-one goes back to the past.
It's a closed door.
129
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,520
What about this?
130
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,320
This was sent to Katie.
131
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,399
What, has Katie seen this?
132
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,079
You stole her card?
133
00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,559
And now you're getting me involved?
134
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:48,759
Jesus Christ, Ralph.
How long have you had it?
135
00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,559
A day. 24 hours?
136
00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:52,999
No. No, no, no, you need
to talk to Katie and come clean.
137
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,759
It's my marriage.
138
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:56,439
Mate...
139
00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:59,719
..I just think you need to have
a chat with Katie, right?
140
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,039
Give her that.
141
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,080
I will.
142
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,360
When the time is right.
143
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,280
Are you OK there, Brian?
144
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,919
I'm at war, Louise. Oh?
145
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,679
Slugs. I'm on a search
and destroy mission.
146
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,159
Sounds intense.
147
00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,479
Oh, it is.
148
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:58,559
I'm currently training the local
predators to hunt them down.
149
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,959
I've just ordered a new hedgehog
house.
150
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:03,759
Starting early is a must.
151
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:05,479
Right.
152
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:06,959
What are you going with?
153
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:10,719
Hardy geraniums and sciatica.
Very nice.
154
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,079
The geraniums, I mean.
155
00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:14,160
I got that.
156
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:16,919
Happy Valentine's Day, Brian.
157
00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:18,559
Is it?
158
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:20,159
Oh, well, yes.
159
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,519
Good. Likewise.
160
00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,639
Are you coming to the party tonight,
Brian?
161
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,199
Tenner a ticket. Village hall.
All for a good cause.
162
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,119
You might get lucky!
163
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,759
Ah, well, actually...
164
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:35,519
..I already have a long-standing
commitment.
165
00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:38,279
Ooh, what's her name?
166
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:44,119
It's an illustrated talk on slate
mining at the Keswick Institute.
167
00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:47,279
Ah, right, on that note,
I'd best be off.
168
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,639
I'll see you later, love.
169
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,239
See you later.
170
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:51,879
Oh, and Brian, you change your mind,
171
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,000
there'll be a vol-au-vent with your
name on it.
172
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,559
Hey, tiger.
173
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:04,719
How was work?
Missed you this morning.
174
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:05,999
Fine.
175
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,080
Happy Valentine's Day.
176
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,359
You can get mine later.
177
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,839
I'm off to help Emma.
178
00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:20,920
Love you.
179
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,440
Love you too.
180
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,639
What time can we get into the hall?
181
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,319
Half an hour.
I think I might pass out.
182
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:55,239
A human body can't emit this
much air.
183
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:56,879
Did you not want helium balloons?
184
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,439
Oh, God, don't.
185
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,559
The canister didn't arrive, did it?
186
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:04,199
We're just gonna have...
sad balloons.
187
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,279
Sad balloons?
188
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,999
Yeah, like on the floor. Fatigued.
189
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,159
Afternoon.
190
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:11,279
Oh, hello.
Didn't think we'd be seeing you.
191
00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:13,359
Yeah, I just found these beers in my
Nan's garage.
192
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,319
I think they're from Boxing Day
two years ago,
193
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:16,800
but figured you might want 'em.
194
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,280
Er, can I give you a hand?
Oh, yeah, that'd be great, thanks.
195
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,519
Or not. That's fine too.
196
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,679
Someone's getting into
the Valentine's Day spirit.
197
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,039
Well, suppose it's nice
to celebrate, in't it?
198
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:34,599
Chocolates and flowers
and... the mystery and whatnot.
199
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,560
Aw, it's like Scrooge on
Christmas morning.
200
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,319
Babe, I've got to go.
I'll drop these off on my way.
201
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,919
Thanks so much for helping.
I'll see you tonight.
202
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,560
See you both tonight. See ya. Bye.
203
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,720
Shut up, you.
204
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,559
DOOR OPENS
Ah, Katie. Brilliant.
205
00:10:55,560 --> 00:10:56,959
Where's Ralph?
206
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,839
I'm meeting Ralph at the hall.
207
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,399
Everything... OK? Yeah. Why?
208
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,599
No reason. All good.
209
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,199
Oh, you're kidding!
210
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,239
Why, what's wrong?
They've got my order wrong.
211
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:11,119
I ordered the bumper Valentine's
party box.
212
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,959
And they've sent a hen do box.
213
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:14,959
We've got six packs of penis straws.
214
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:16,719
It's fine. No-one will notice.
215
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,480
They've got veins, Danny.
DANNY LAUGHS
216
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:22,479
I've invited the WI!
217
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:24,839
It's all right, have you seen
their calendars?
218
00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:26,359
Not helpful.
219
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:29,279
Erm, right, I just need to...
Wait, where are you going?
220
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,599
I won't be long.
I just need to do something.
221
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,480
We'll see you at the hall? Er, yeah.
222
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,719
Oi, you said you were gonna speak
to her.
223
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,240
Oh, mate.
224
00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,519
You're getting yourself in
a state over nothing.
225
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:52,000
Have you ever been in love?
226
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,239
Er, yeah. Once.
227
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,239
What happened?
228
00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:00,320
Er... Well, he broke my heart.
229
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:05,079
I cried in every room in the house,
shed included.
230
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,559
Um...
231
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,959
But eventually I was OK.
232
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,359
I mean, it probably wasn't even real
love.
233
00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,879
I think I just wanted someone to...
234
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,400
..want me.
235
00:12:16,560 --> 00:12:20,519
But that was totally different
to you and Katie.
236
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:22,959
Look, when you know, you know.
237
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,000
You know?
238
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,720
Look, can we please go to
the hall and sort this out?
239
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,359
EMMA: He should be here by now.
240
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,599
Who? The DJ, he's late.
241
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,319
You Emma? Yeah.
242
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:49,079
I'm Surrane, Psychic Surrane.
243
00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,119
The fortune teller.
Where shall I set up?
244
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:54,759
Oh, eh, yeah, hi. Just
in the corner, please.
245
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,799
Unless that's bad energy?
246
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:57,959
Nah.
247
00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,680
Nah, it's all the same, really.
248
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,439
SHE SIGHS
I'm gonna call the DJ.
249
00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:07,439
Make sure he's not lost.
250
00:13:07,440 --> 00:13:08,800
It's going to be fine.
251
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,600
Yeah, no, you're right.
252
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,799
This is going to be a good night,
right, Surrane?
253
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,999
I'm not on the clock till seven,
hun.
254
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,920
Anything out of the agreed hours is
extra.
255
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,280
Right.
256
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:26,720
I'll make a start on the cakes.
DOOR OPENS
257
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,359
There you are.
258
00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:33,559
Shall we, er, have a sit down?
Have a cuppa, or coffee or...
259
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:36,239
..maybe a peppermint tea might be
nice and calming.
260
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:37,759
You opened my post?
261
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:41,439
Why are you getting cards from
other men?
262
00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,399
What? Ralph... Ralph's worried it's
from Nathan.
263
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,799
Nathan? Why did you never tell me
about him?
264
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,559
There's nothing to tell.
265
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:50,759
You loved him.
266
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:53,560
I thought I was the one.
267
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,399
You are.
268
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,559
Then why did Nathan send you this?
269
00:13:58,560 --> 00:13:59,839
He didn't.
270
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,399
Then who did?
271
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,480
I did.
272
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,799
I didn't have anyone to send
a card to this year so...
273
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:07,960
..I sent one to Katie.
274
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,920
You know, for Galentine's Day?
275
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,200
Like Valentine's, but for gals.
276
00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:18,680
Ralph, I didn't mean to...
277
00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,119
SURRANE: Your phone just pinged,
hun.
278
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:24,440
DJ's cancelled.
279
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:35,599
DOOR CLOSES
RALPH: Mum?
280
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,000
Living room!
281
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,999
What are you doing here?
I was just about to leave.
282
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,240
I need to go into the loft.
283
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:50,999
So, let me get this straight.
284
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,239
Katie got a Valentine's card,
285
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:54,599
which you opened and didn't tell
her about,
286
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:58,439
and you just found out that
it wasn't from some secret lover,
287
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,599
it was, in fact, from Emma
288
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:04,039
and now instead of apologising to
Katie
289
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:05,759
and begging her for forgiveness,
290
00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:07,279
you've left the party to come here
291
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:10,439
and have a quick rummage
through your old football magazines?
292
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,639
Sounds reasonable.
Ten out of ten for that, Ralph.
293
00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:15,279
I'm looking for something.
294
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,680
Well, I'm going to the party
and I'm not waiting.
295
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,280
What's that?
296
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,760
I made it at grammar school.
297
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,000
But I didn't have anyone
to send it to.
298
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:39,680
Katie's the only person
I've ever loved.
299
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,559
I've missed out on stuff.
300
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:44,680
What are you talking about?
301
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:50,920
Katie's parents took her to clubs.
302
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,999
She met people.
303
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,359
Boyfriends.
304
00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,719
You didn't take me.
305
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,759
We weren't the kind of people who
did clubs.
306
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,319
You weren't.
307
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:04,439
Well, I'm sorry for not thinking
about your relationship status
308
00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:05,719
when you were 11, Ralph.
309
00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:09,039
If I'd gone, I might have been in
love before.
310
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:12,559
But you're in love now,
you're married, for Christ's sake.
311
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,360
Katie has a past.
312
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,399
I should have a past.
313
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:19,679
I'm a man.
314
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:21,519
Wow. Well, excuse me,
I didn't realise
315
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,959
we'd been transported back
to the 1940s.
316
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:29,039
What, you want more skeletons
in your closet, is that it?
317
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,360
And you're blaming me?
318
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,760
What if I don't know what love is?
319
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,599
Course you know what love is!
320
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:41,040
You've been worshipping
Wayne Rooney for two decades.
321
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:46,360
Ralph...
322
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:48,759
..you found your wife
323
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,479
sooner than most people
find their socks in the morning.
324
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,439
You're one of the lucky ones.
325
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:54,480
And...
326
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,319
..I'm sorry if you think I kept you
from those experiences.
327
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,759
And... maybe I did.
328
00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:03,999
But I'm your mum and I did what I
thought was best.
329
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:07,920
And quite frankly, I don't think
it's turned out all that badly.
330
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,080
It's different.
331
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:15,520
What is?
332
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:20,560
Being married.
333
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,560
To how you thought it would be?
334
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:31,399
Well, it'd be a bit boring if
everything was always as expected.
335
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,880
For example, I thought you were
a feminist and yet here we are.
336
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,400
Sorry.
337
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,160
I think Katie needs to hear that
more than me, don't you?
338
00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,440
KATIE: Thank you. Thank you.
339
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,200
I'll leave you two alone.
340
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,599
I'm sorry.
341
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,479
I should have told you how I felt.
342
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,719
Yes, you should.
343
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,240
I've never been in love before.
344
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,599
It's a bit scary sometimes.
345
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,319
I know.
346
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,559
I wanted to keep Nathan in the past.
347
00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,960
I love you now.
And that's all that matters.
348
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,040
This has been waiting for you.
349
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,639
I'm so sorry.
350
00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:00,079
I didn't mean for you
to get upset about the card.
351
00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,799
Honestly, I'm not having an
affair with your wife.
352
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,399
I know. I realise I'm a bit
of a nightmare,
353
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,799
but Katie's my friend and I want
you to be my friend too.
354
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:09,999
It's fine.
355
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,319
I just wanted to do something nice
for everyone.
356
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,759
Now I can't even organise
a party in a village hall.
357
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:16,719
You can.
358
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:17,839
You have.
359
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,880
MUSIC PLAYS IN NEXT ROOM
360
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:25,799
I've whacked my playlist on.
361
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,799
It's starting to fill up, mate. You
should probably come out.
362
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,080
Is anybody dancing?
363
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:34,760
They will.
364
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,240
MUSIC: She's So Lovely
by Scouting For Girls
365
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,200
Hello, everyone.
366
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,719
Hi. Erm...
367
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,519
..thank you so much for being here
tonight.
368
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,279
I just wanted to let you all know
369
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,519
that we have officially raised
enough money for a new piano.
370
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,839
CHEERING
371
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,079
Er, well, a second-hand keyboard
from Oxfam, but still.
372
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:05,039
Um, and that wouldn't have been
possible without all of you.
373
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,320
So thank you.
374
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,999
This is actually my first
Valentine's
375
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,559
as a single person
for... quite a while
376
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,759
and... well...
377
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:19,639
..I wanted to do this to make sure
we all had somewhere to be.
378
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:20,800
People to be with.
379
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:25,839
None of this would have happened
without the help of my mates.
380
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:30,199
And two of them are about to come
to the rescue again right now.
381
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:32,000
So, over to you, boys.
382
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,319
INAUDIBLE
383
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,640
MUSIC: Knock On Wood
by Amii Stewart
384
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:49,919
Oh, God, what am I doing?
385
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,640
Just follow my lead.
386
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:08,320
Ooh, yeah!
387
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,719
# I don't wanna lose you
388
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:14,360
# This good thing
389
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:17,359
# That I got
390
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,479
# Cos if I do
391
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,040
# I will surely
392
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,479
# Surely lose a lot
393
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,439
# Cos your love
394
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:27,880
# Is better
395
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,559
# Than any love I know
396
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,479
# It's like thunder
397
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,000
# And lightning
398
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,199
# The way you love me is frightening
399
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,359
# Ah, you better knock
400
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:42,079
# Knock
401
00:21:42,080 --> 00:21:44,079
# On wood
402
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,439
# Baby
403
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,840
# Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
404
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,280
# Baby
405
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:56,680
# Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
406
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:02,520
# I'm not superstitious about you
407
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:05,919
# But I can't take no chance
408
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:07,879
# It's like thunder
409
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,280
# And lightning
410
00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,919
# The way you love me is frightening
411
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:16,479
# You better knock, knock, knock
412
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,479
# On wood
413
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:19,640
# Baby
414
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,799
# Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
415
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,959
# You better knock, knock, knock on
wood
416
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,479
# Baby, better knock, knock, knock
on wood
417
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,999
# Baby, better knock, knock, knock
on wood
418
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,079
Wow!
419
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,200
# Knock, knock, knock on wood... #
420
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:38,959
Right, come on, everyone!
421
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,000
SONG CONTINUES
422
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,320
MUFFLED MUSIC CONTINUES
423
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:18,639
Ah, yes, I'm seeing a man
in uniform.
424
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,040
You've got good eyesight.
He's in the Himalayas.
425
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:24,080
But wait...
426
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:28,280
..looks like there might be somebody
a little closer to home.
427
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:34,440
Absolutely not.
428
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,279
There he is. Billy Elliot himself.
429
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:44,559
Was it really embarrassing?
430
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,159
No, I liked it.
431
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,519
What you lacked in dignity, you made
up for in enthusiasm.
432
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,159
Not the first time that's been said.
433
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,399
Hey, do you, erm, do you want to get
a drink?
434
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,319
There you are.
435
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,239
Finally.
Sorry, I got stuck in traffic.
436
00:23:58,240 --> 00:23:59,919
Hi.
437
00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:03,239
Oh, yeah, Mick, this is Danny,
an old school friend.
438
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,679
Danny, this is my boyfriend, Mick.
439
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,479
He's late for everything.
440
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,439
Nice to meet you, Danny.
Yeah, yeah, you too.
441
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,119
Danny does magic.
442
00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:14,519
He's basically the David Blaine
of Cumbria.
443
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:17,439
Uses ferrets instead of rabbits
and everything. Very edgy.
444
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:19,959
Yeah, well ferrets aren't part of
a union.
445
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:21,440
BOTH: Yet.
THEY CHUCKLE
446
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,599
Anyway, shall we get a drink?
447
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:26,919
Drink, Danny?
448
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:28,800
No, no, I've got one.
It's over... there.
449
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:31,680
OK!
450
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:42,120
MUSIC: The Lady In Red
by Chris De Burgh
451
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,959
# I've never seen you looking
so lovely as you did tonight
452
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:03,040
# I've never seen you shine so bright
453
00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:12,519
# I've never seen so many men ask you
if you wanted to dance
454
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,720
# They're looking for
a little romance... #
455
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,079
I didn't know he had
a boyfriend, sorry.
456
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:19,160
It's all right.
457
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:21,320
Got you, haven't I?
458
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,839
Like Thelma and Louise.
459
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:28,559
Over love and ready to embrace
the joys of single life.
460
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:31,439
Have you ever watched Thelma
and Louise?
461
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:32,760
No, I have not.
462
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,839
SHE SIGHS
463
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:38,799
I don't think I actually want
the single life.
464
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,439
Sorry.
465
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:44,239
I want love and marriage
466
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:47,439
and matching Christmas pyjamas...
HE GROANS
467
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,640
..and all the other stuff you hate.
468
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:52,800
Thought I had all that with Gary,
but...
469
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:55,760
..if not Gary, then...
470
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,040
Same plan, different man.
471
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:03,480
Same plan, different man.
472
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:08,599
Right, come on.
473
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:09,680
You look tragic.
474
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:15,160
Danny Hyde, will you please dance
with me?
475
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:43,400
You owe me a present.
476
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:46,159
I know.
477
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:48,719
Next year, you can get me two.
478
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:50,319
OK.
479
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,000
Will you celebrate next year? Yeah!
480
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,480
I love you. I love you too.
481
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,399
But if you ever open my post again,
482
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,039
I'll kill you.
483
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:07,480
Fair enough.
33649
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