All language subtitles for I.Dream.Of.Jeannie.2x15.Jeannie.Breaks.The.Bank.DVDRip-SAiNTS.[tvu.org.ru]

- Morning, Jeannie.
- Good morning, master.

- Well, I'm on my way to the base now.
- Not without breakfast, master.

Everyone should start the day
with a good, hot breakfast.

Jeannie.

I know. You are always in a hurry,
master.

- Yeah, well-
- But this is one time...

...that you must take time to eat.

Yes, except for one-

You will feel much better
after you have eaten, master.

Well, it's very good except I-

- Is it not delicious?
- Yeah. Bacon and strawberries...

...is a nice combination.

I think it's going a little too far-

There we are. Eat it up.
It will make you strong.

No, Jeannie, you must stop this-

Well, there, master.
Was that not good?

Marvellous.
There's only one problem.

Well, what is that, master?

I've already had my breakfast.

I'm sorry I upset you, master...

...but how was I to know
you already had your breakfast?

Well, it's not only today,
it's every day.

You don't do anything right.

You don't have the faintest idea
of what to do as a genie.

You're an amateur's amateur.

I cannot help it, master.

I have not had much practice
at being a genie.

I was a very young girl when
the wicked djinn put me in my bottle.

Oh, and 2000 years later
you rescued me.

All right, come on.
Let's not get off the subject, huh?

You keep making mistakes.

Every time I open my mouth,
you put my foot in it.

I casually mention the Wild West
and you have me duelling in the street.

I say something about pirates
and there I am...

...having a fight with Captain Kidd.

It's getting so I'm afraid
to say anything.

Know what I would do, master?

- Nothing. Nothing!
- But I-

No, nothing. I'm the only astronaut
in the program...

...that has a daily
nervous breakdown.

All I wanted to do
was give him a hot breakfast.

Morning.

You're a bundle of nerves today.

Today? Every day. If I don't
do something about Jeannie...

...she's gonna drive me
out of my mind.

Look at my reports.

Look, I wouldn't do this
for too many people...

...but I hate to see you suffer.
I'll take her.

Believe me, Roger, it's no fun
getting everything you wish for.

Yeah. I know what you mean.

Why don't I borrow her
for a year or two.

If it doesn't work out,
I'll give her back.

- Can't you be serious?
- Be serious?

I've never been more serious
in my life.

You're dying to get rid of her
and I'm dying to get her.

I'm not dying to get rid of her.
I just want her to learn how to act.

Tony, I've never asked
any favours of you, right?

I met this girl. I need Jeannie.
I've gotta impress this girl.

I just want to borrow her
for a week, okay?

I'm sorry, Roger.

- Twenty-four hours?
- No.

- An hour.
- No, Roger.

- Five minutes.
- Roger!

- Would you let her wave to me?
- Don't you understand?

You'd have just as much trouble
as I'm having.

If you feel that way,
why don't you sit down...

...and have a heart-to-heart,
master-genie talk with her?

Don't you think I've tried that?
It doesn't help.

She doesn't mean
to get me in trouble.

It just- Well, it just happens.

It's probably because
she's inexperienced.

She wasn't born a genie, you know.

- She wasn't?
- No, of course not.

She was turned into a genie
when she was a young girl.

I guess until I came along, she just
didn't have much practice at it.

- Well, why don't you give her lessons?
- Yeah, sure.

I better be getting
to the test chambers.

What were you saying?

What was I saying? I better be
getting over to the test chambers.

No, no. I mean about Jeannie.

That's it. You solved the-
You're brilliant.

I suppose I do have a knack
for getting at the heart of things.

- You sure do.
- Running a little late, I-

What is it I solved, exactly?

Jeannie's doing all these things
because she doesn't know any better.

Now, all I have to do
is get her a book on genies.

Maybe The Arabian Nights.

That's it!
I'll give her The Arabian Nights.

She can study it
and learn how genies behave.

That's brilliant of you, Roger.

Kind of a Dr. Spock
on bringing up genies?

Yeah, that's right.

You know I get these
intuitions about things?

Yeah, what does it say to you?

It says that you're headed
for disaster.

And if I were you,
I'd stick with the nervous breakdown.

Lovely.

These washing machines
are truly miracles.

Jeannie.

Jeannie?

- Good evening, master.
- Oh, hi.

I brought you a present.

A gift!

Oh, you are the most generous master
I've ever known.

Well, it's really not that much,
Jeannie.

Oh, you are always
doing things for me.

Well, it's not that big a deal,
you know.

- It is candy.
- No. No.

Oh, I love candy, master.

It is not candy. It's a book.

- Book.
- Yes.

It is a book about my hometown!

Oh, I shall enjoy
reading this, master.

As a matter of fact,
I'd like you to study it.

- Study it?
- Yes.

Oh, it's full of exciting stories
about genies and their masters.

You said you didn't know much
about being a genie...

...and I thought you could
use this book as kind of a textbook.

Oh, you mean you wish me to do
what the genies in these stories do.

It's not so much as what they do,
as what they don't do.

I don't pretend
to be an expert on genies...

...but I guess I know as much
about them as the next man.

If there's anything
a genie shouldn't do...

- ... it's drive their masters up the wall.
- I do not mean to drive you up a wall.

I know you don't. But we're not
gonna have that problem now.

You see, all you have to do
is follow the book.

- Follow the book?
- That's right.

"And the genie bowed low
and said to Aladdin:

'My wish is your command. "'

Yeah, that's wonderful, you see.

I should've bought that book
for you about a year ago.

I will begin reading it
tomorrow, master.

We don't have any time to lose,
Jeannie.

I'd like you to start
reading it now. Okay?

- Now?
- Yup.

- Master.
- Oh, did you finish the book?

No, master.
I cannot do as this book says.

Jeannie, we discussed this.
You're gonna do exactly as it says.

- But, master, you would not like it.
- You mean you wouldn't like it.

- It's time you learned discipline.
- I have discipline.

You'll have to behave
like a proper genie. Is that clear?

No. A proper genie does not-

Argue with her master.

Now, I want you to go
and finish that book.

And that's an order.

Very well, master.

You are sure that is what you wish?

I've never been more sure
of anything in my life.

Yes, master.

"And the blue djinn said:

'The first thing you must do is
to get your master at your mercy.

This is easier than you realize. "'

I should say so.

"'You must trick him.
Catch him off guard.

When he is at your mercy,
torture him. "'

Torture him.

- Master.
- Have you finished it already?

Oh, no, master. It is a terrible book.

Jeannie, for you it's terrible,
for me it's great.

I cannot do the things it says.

I'm gonna give you a choice.

Either behave like the genies in the
book, or you have to get out of here.

- Do you mean that?
- I certainly do.

Very well, master.

I tried.

"'And,' the blue djinn said...

...'now, genies, I will reveal to you 10
ingenious tortures that I have devised.

The first one is known
as the torture-"'

Oh, no!

Major Healey.

Jeannie, don't you ever knock?

I am sorry, Major Healey,
but I have to talk to you.

I need your advice.

Well, I haven't advised
many genies before...

- ... but what's your problem?
- Major Nelson.

You mean the book.

- You know about it?
- Know about it?

- He doesn't make a move without me.
- It is a terrible book.

If I do the things it says, Major Nelson
will hate me and want to get rid of me.

Major Nelson will hate you
and want-

You've got to do
exactly what that book says.

- Exactly what-
- Exactly.

If I do, he will not like it.

You're wrong. He'll love it.

Well, he cannot have read that book.

Tales of the Arabian Nights?

- He was brought up on it.
- He was?

If you don't do exactly what the book
says, he's going to be very angry.

Are you sure of this?

Sure of it? I know him like a book.
And that's the book.

Modern men have strange ways.

Well, any time you need my advice,
just pop in, huh?

I will. Thank you, Major Healey.

Jeannie. Good night.

Good night, master.

Have you finished the book?

- The first three chapters.
- Oh, good.

Are you getting an idea
of how I want you to behave?

I'm afraid I am, master.

I feel better already.

If you feel better, I feel better.

Well, you get a good night's sleep.

Tomorrow's gonna be
a wonderful, wonderful day.

Good night, master.

Good night, Jeannie.

Jeannie!

- A bed of nails?
- Yeah, that's right.

Why would she want
to do a thing like that?

I don't know.

I went looking for her,
but she'd disappeared.

- Maybe I was too hard on her, huh?
- Yeah, you were too-

Oh, no, no.
You're too easy on her.

- Too easy?
- You know how genies are.

You give them an inch
and they take a mile.

I don't know.
I thought that book would help her.

Tony, have you read
The Tales of the Arabian Nights?

- No.
- Good.

I mean, it's good for genies.

Have her do
exactly what that book says.

- Yeah, I tried.
- Well, be firm.

You're the master, remember? Firm.

Yeah, you're right, Roger.
I don't know what I'd do without you.

Well, we're buddies, aren't we?

- Well, I'll see you later, buddy.
- Yeah, okay.

Be firm. I'm the master.

I'm the master.

Jeannie. Jeannie?
Hey, where have you been?

You and I are gonna have
a little talk, young lady.

Oh, good, master.
What shall we talk about?

- We're gonna talk about that book.
- You want me to stop reading it.

- I am so happy.
- I don't want you to stop reading it.

- I want you to memorize it.
- Memorize it?

Sit in that chair,
and I don't want you to move...

...until you've memorized every word.

I've had a hard day, I'm going to bed.
See you in the morning.

- Master.
- What?

There is your bed, master.

What do you mean, my bed?
What are you talking about?

We are supposed to stay
out of our bottles as much as possible.

I will sleep in your bedroom
and you may sleep there.

If you think I'm gonna sleep on this...

...you're very much mistaken,
young lady.

Jeannie? Come on, Jeannie.

- Yes? Oh, Dr. Bellows.
- Good evening, Major Nelson.

- I wanted to bring you this report.
- That's very kind of you, sir.

That's an iron gate you have
in front of your bedroom door.

Yes. We've had
a series of burglaries.

Please don't explain it.

I like it better than the apple tree
you had in your living room.

- It's locked. Do you have a key?
- No, no.

How are you gonna
get into your bedroom?

- Through the window. You see-
- Don't explain.

- Why not?
- Because if you do...

...I'm afraid I'll understand it.

- Good night.
- Oh, good night, Dr. Bellows.

Jeannie, let me in.
Come on. Jeannie!

You mean
she locked you out of your room?

With an iron gate.

Honestly, Roger,
I don't know what's gotten into her.

Well, I hate to say this, Tony,
but I think Jeannie has run amuck.

Run amuck?

Yeah, it happens to genies
sometimes, and when it does:

- Really?
- Really.

You've gotta get Jeannie to do
exactly what that book says...

...and don't let her argue.

Don't let her argue.

Yeah, you're right.

You're absolutely right.
Thanks, Roge.

- Don't forget.
- No.

Run amuck?

- Jeannie, I want to have a-
- Oh, master.

Oh, I've been so unhappy.

All I wish to do is please you.

With what, a bed of nails and an
iron door in front of my bedroom?

Oh, I did not want
to do any of those things.

Yeah, I suppose you had to.

We're not gonna have
any more of that.

Tonight I'm sleeping in my own bed.

Oh, I am so glad.

Jeannie, I can't figure you out.

You've never behaved this way before.

You used to get me into trouble,
but you never planned it that way.

Oh, no, master.
I only want to make you happy.

Tell me, what can I do for you?

Well, that's-
That's more like it.

Command me to do anything, master.

How many chapters have you read?

Ten. But I-

I want you to do
exactly what's in chapter 10.

No, master. I cannot do that.

You said you'd do anything I wanted.

Not that, master.

Yes, that, Jeannie.
Chapter 10. Now.

- Now?
- Now.

Major Healey.

Oh, Jeannie.
Jeannie, how is it going?

Terribly.

I think Major Nelson hates me.

Oh, he does, huh?
Oh, he does.

Where is he now?

Hanging over a hungry group
of crocodiles.

A hungry group of crocodiles?

Well, he forced me to do it.

He said,
" Do what is in chapter 10 now. "

Crocodiles?

I do not know how
to please him anymore.

If I do not follow the book,
he yells at me.

If I do follow the book,
he yells at me.

Lately he has been yelling at me
all the time.

Are they big crocodiles
or small crocodiles?

Oh, please help me, Major Healey.

Help you. Oh, help.
I am helping you.

I don't know how to tell you this,
Jeannie...

...but your master has run amuck.

Run amuck?

It happens to masters sometimes.
When it does:

- Really?
- Really.

And when it does, I guess you
have to find yourself a new master.

Oh, but I could not do that.

Well, is he happy?

No. He's miserable.

Well, there you are.

You mean, the only way I can
make him happy is to leave him?

I'm afraid so.

Well, I do not want to leave him...

...but if that is the only way
I can make him happy, I guess I must.

But where will I go?

Well, since this is an emergency,
why don't I come to the rescue?

You mean
you would be my new master?

Well, that's the least I can do
for my old friend.

Thank you, Major Healey.

Now that that's settled...

...why don't you run home,
get your bottle and come right back.

- I got a few things I need.
- Very well.

But I will release Major Nelson
from the crocodiles first.

Oh, don't tell him anything
about this.

Just get the bottle
and come right back.

Yes, I will be right back.

I can't hold on any-

Oh, are you all right, master?

How can I be all right?

I've got a genie who's run amuck.

- Run amuck?
- Yes, yes.

It happens to genies sometimes,
you know.

Well, who should know
better than you?

Major Healey said that it was
masters who run amuck.

Yeah, well, don't go around
believing everything Ma-

Major Healey said that masters
run amuck?

Yes. He said that you hated me
and the only way to make you happy...

...was to be his genie. Do not worry,
I'm going to be his genie...

- ... because I want you to be happy.
- That dirty-

- That figures.
- I will leave before you start yelling...

- ... and getting angry at me again.
- Roger.

No, I don't want you to go.

I just want you to tell me
exactly what was in that book.

Oh, please do not make me
follow that book again, master.

I'm not gonna make you do anything.
Just tell me all about it.

Well...

...it is a book of tortures
that genies do to their masters.

That genies do to their-
Why, that-

Yes, master, but I'm so sorry.
I did not want to do any of them.

Oh, Jeannie, it's not your fault.
It's mine.

- Yours?
- Yes.

When you care for somebody,
when you really care for somebody...

...you don't try to change them.

You take the good with the bad
and you be thankful for what you got.

And I forgot to be thankful.

I tried to change you,
and I was wrong.

And I'm sorry.

- Do you mean that, master?
- Yes, I mean that.

Oh, I am so happy.

What shall I do about Major Healey?

May I have the book, please?

Thank you.

Let's see what it says in chapter...

...fifteen.

It is Major Healey.

Come in.

- Hi, Roge.
- Hi, Ton- Tony.

- Hi, Tony.
- Hi.

I got a little worried there.
You didn't come back and...

Well, Major Nelson and I
have been having a little talk.

Oh, what were you talking about?

Oh, about running amuck, you know.

Oh, running amuck, huh?

- She told you, huh?
- Yeah.

Well, it was funny.

I wouldn't have done it, Tony...

...but I needed Jeannie desperately.
I tried to tell you before, remember?

Oh, yes, yes, I remember.

And you wouldn't
give her to me so I...

I would love to have seen you
with those crocodiles.

No hard feelings?

Well, you two surely know
how to take a joke.

Now.

- Now?
- Now.

Jeannie.

Go away. This is my iceberg.

This is my iceberg.