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♪ ♪
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Louise, your breakfast
is getting cold.
3
00:00:23,339 --> 00:00:24,341
It's just cereal.
4
00:00:24,341 --> 00:00:25,444
It's supposed to be cold.
5
00:00:25,444 --> 00:00:26,612
Or have I been doing it wrong?
6
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I was gonna make cheesy eggs
7
00:00:28,516 --> 00:00:29,518
for everybody this morning,
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but someone ate the entire
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brand-new block of cheddar.
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It was sharp cheddar,
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which is the best-dressed
of all the cheddars.
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- That's true.
- (yawns)
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00:00:37,901 --> 00:00:40,073
Morning, Louise. You seem tired.
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Why you so sleepy, honey?
Did you have a bad dream
15
00:00:42,277 --> 00:00:44,615
where your father goes crazy
and kills the whole family?
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00:00:44,715 --> 00:00:46,085
- What?
- No, nothing cool like that.
17
00:00:46,085 --> 00:00:48,957
It's just tomorrow
is my last show-and-tell ever.
18
00:00:48,957 --> 00:00:51,095
- Ever.
- Oh, right, it stops after fourth grade.
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00:00:51,095 --> 00:00:53,266
But then in fifth grade
you get social studies,
20
00:00:53,366 --> 00:00:54,902
- so that's cool.
- Anyway,
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00:00:55,002 --> 00:00:56,873
I'm kind of the rock star
of show-and-tell.
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It's my thing,
it's what I'm known for.
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- Everyone agrees.
- That and your dainty feet.
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- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
25
00:01:01,749 --> 00:01:03,419
I've always knocked it
out of the park,
26
00:01:03,419 --> 00:01:04,655
and this is my last one,
27
00:01:04,655 --> 00:01:05,924
I really have to bring it.
28
00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:07,795
So I was up all night
trying to figure out
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00:01:07,795 --> 00:01:09,632
what to do for my last hurrah
30
00:01:09,632 --> 00:01:11,102
and I came up with nothing!
31
00:01:11,202 --> 00:01:13,807
Well, why don't you bring
one of your fun Japanese toys?
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That octopus-looking one, maybe?
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He's got a story to tell, I bet.
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00:01:17,047 --> 00:01:18,683
Or at least a funny thing
that happened to him
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00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:20,086
in the checkout line
at the grocery store?
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00:01:20,086 --> 00:01:22,658
Oh, Tina, Tina, Tina.
You really don't get it.
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I've set a very high bar.
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My completely mechanical
replacement arm
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has ten times the strength
of a normal arm.
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This is a drawing
of my pet monkey, Bjorn.
41
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:32,110
Couple things about Bjorn--
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he can do the Macarena,
43
00:01:33,046 --> 00:01:34,815
he is an ordained minister...
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This is a tooth from
the shark that tried to eat me,
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and I kickboxed my way
out of its mouth.
46
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We're actually good friends now.
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It's made with human remains
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from the crematorium next door.
49
00:01:43,166 --> 00:01:45,070
Louise, I think maybe
some of your show-and-tells
50
00:01:45,170 --> 00:01:48,676
weren't exactly honest.
Because they were lies.
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For your last one,
maybe you do something real.
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What? No. Real life is boring.
53
00:01:53,119 --> 00:01:55,624
Just look at Dad over there,
reading the newspaper.
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- Boring.
- Hey.
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You think people
want to hear about that life?
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This actually
isn't boring, Louise.
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00:02:00,867 --> 00:02:02,003
I'm reading about that old
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00:02:02,104 --> 00:02:03,673
artillery battery
near the wharf.
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00:02:03,773 --> 00:02:05,076
It says some cannonballs
washed ashore.
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00:02:05,076 --> 00:02:07,381
Speaking of cannonballs
washing ashore,
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00:02:07,381 --> 00:02:08,516
I got to go to the bathroom.
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00:02:08,516 --> 00:02:09,885
Thank you for that, Gene.
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00:02:09,885 --> 00:02:11,322
There was an artillery battery
around here?
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00:02:11,322 --> 00:02:13,626
And what kind of batteries
do artilleries take?
65
00:02:13,626 --> 00:02:14,829
Double-A?
It's always double-A.
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00:02:14,829 --> 00:02:17,201
A battery is a bunch of cannons,
I think.
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00:02:17,301 --> 00:02:20,707
They used them
in the War of 1812 against
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the bad guys?
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00:02:22,077 --> 00:02:23,847
You know the spot,
there's a cannon there.
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00:02:23,947 --> 00:02:25,350
Or a statue of a cannon.
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00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:27,654
We maybe let you play on it
when you were little,
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which I assume was okay.
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00:02:29,625 --> 00:02:31,262
Our town should get playgrounds.
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00:02:31,262 --> 00:02:33,199
So, yeah, after that
big storm last month,
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00:02:33,299 --> 00:02:35,770
these old cannonballs washed up
on the beach near the battery,
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00:02:35,871 --> 00:02:37,241
which is pretty cool.
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Oh, that storm.
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00:02:37,975 --> 00:02:39,645
I had to reset all the clocks.
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00:02:39,745 --> 00:02:40,881
And I didn't check
what time it was,
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00:02:40,881 --> 00:02:42,050
so don't use the clocks
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00:02:42,150 --> 00:02:43,620
if you need to know
what time it is.
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00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:44,955
Yes, that's it!
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I'm gonna go
look for a cannonball.
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00:02:46,893 --> 00:02:48,830
That's a real thing,
right, Tina?
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Uh, wait.
what?
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00:02:50,066 --> 00:02:52,137
No one is gonna
go look for a cannonball.
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I don't want any of my babies
getting exploded.
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00:02:54,108 --> 00:02:57,080
Well, the cannonballs themselves
don't explode, Lin.
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00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,420
They're just a ball of iron.
The gunpowder was in the cannon.
90
00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:01,956
Unless that's their evil plan.
91
00:03:01,956 --> 00:03:05,330
To blow us up a hundred and
something years after the war?
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00:03:05,430 --> 00:03:06,766
I don't know.
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00:03:06,866 --> 00:03:08,236
Eh, it was a false alarm.
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00:03:08,336 --> 00:03:09,972
But still give
it a few minutes in there.
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00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:11,542
Lot of smoke but no fire.
What'd I miss?
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00:03:11,542 --> 00:03:14,548
I'm gonna look for cannonballs
on the beach after breakfast.
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00:03:14,548 --> 00:03:15,784
- Who's in?
- Sounds fun,
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00:03:15,784 --> 00:03:17,220
but I don't think
I should go anywhere.
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00:03:17,321 --> 00:03:19,191
I'd feel better
if I could lose this cheddar.
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00:03:19,191 --> 00:03:20,860
Tina, what about you?
You coming?
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00:03:20,961 --> 00:03:22,397
I mean,
I'll go to the beach with you
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because that sounds nice,
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but I don't think
we'll find any cannonballs.
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00:03:25,070 --> 00:03:26,038
We may find
a pleasant breeze, though.
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Aw, a sister cannonball run.
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00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,313
You know, when I was a kid,
we found a box of bullets
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00:03:30,313 --> 00:03:31,882
in the woods and threw 'em
at each other.
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But don't do that.
And, hey,
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stay on the beach, you two.
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No going on slippery rocks
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where the waves
can knock you in.
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00:03:36,959 --> 00:03:38,363
And there's some
caves near there.
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Don't go in those.
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Because of drowning.
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00:03:40,900 --> 00:03:43,640
And if we see a volcano,
should we jump in that or no?
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No. No volcanos.
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They seem fun but they're not.
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So, Bob, you know how Kathleen
likes to watch hurling?
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00:03:50,053 --> 00:03:51,922
- Uh, no.
- Well, she does. A lot.
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00:03:51,922 --> 00:03:53,693
She likes watching people vomit?
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- Hurling is a sport, Gene.
- Sports?
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00:03:55,563 --> 00:03:56,966
Ugh, I'd rather
watch people vomit.
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00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,236
It's like hockey but on grass.
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00:03:58,236 --> 00:04:00,273
And they have a ball
instead of a puck
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00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:03,246
and then you can
pick up the ball, I think.
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00:04:03,246 --> 00:04:05,717
It's a little confusing.
But, uh, I love it.
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00:04:05,850 --> 00:04:07,054
Sounds like you do.
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00:04:07,054 --> 00:04:08,756
Uh, yeah, anyway, the bar where
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00:04:08,856 --> 00:04:10,126
she usually watches it
is closing.
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00:04:10,126 --> 00:04:11,762
The owner's
moving back to Ireland,
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00:04:11,862 --> 00:04:13,299
- to start an American bar.
- Okay.
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00:04:13,299 --> 00:04:16,739
So, I kind of invited her here
to watch the game today.
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00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,643
But is it even on regular TV?
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00:04:18,743 --> 00:04:20,480
No, uh, but I have a computer
135
00:04:20,613 --> 00:04:22,050
and a little projector
in my truck.
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00:04:22,050 --> 00:04:24,355
And I can rig it all up.
Doesn't that sound fun?
137
00:04:24,455 --> 00:04:25,223
I guess.
138
00:04:25,323 --> 00:04:27,260
Aw, Teddy,
look at you rigging up
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00:04:27,260 --> 00:04:29,231
sports stuff
for your special friend.
140
00:04:29,231 --> 00:04:30,967
Some hurlin' and girlin'.
But she's a woman.
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00:04:31,068 --> 00:04:32,771
Yeah, well,
Kathleen likes hurling,
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so I'm gonna like hurling. Because
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00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:36,345
it's good to have,
you know, shared hobbies.
144
00:04:36,345 --> 00:04:38,449
My ex-wife Denise and I
had nothing in common.
145
00:04:38,449 --> 00:04:40,253
Her favorite thing
was going on trips by herself
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00:04:40,253 --> 00:04:42,791
and not telling me
when or where she was going,
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00:04:42,791 --> 00:04:44,094
and mine was just
sitting at home,
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00:04:44,094 --> 00:04:45,764
rocking back and forth a little,
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00:04:45,897 --> 00:04:47,067
and saying,
"We're still in love."
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00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:48,770
(chuckles)
Over and over.
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00:04:48,903 --> 00:04:50,407
- Aw, Teddy.
- Look at you two.
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00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:53,379
You share some hobbies.
You both like burgers and fries.
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00:04:53,379 --> 00:04:56,085
Hurling could be me and
Kathleen's "burgers and fries."
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I mean, not a hobby, but...
155
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- Anyway, great. We're doing it.
- Yes!
156
00:05:00,126 --> 00:05:02,030
It's happening!
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
157
00:05:02,130 --> 00:05:03,933
Thank you, Gene.
That's very supportive.
158
00:05:03,933 --> 00:05:05,837
Uh, Teddy,
I think he's talking about
159
00:05:05,837 --> 00:05:06,939
- going to the bathroom.
- Oh.
160
00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:08,843
Wait.
Nope, not happening.
161
00:05:08,843 --> 00:05:10,246
Dang it.
What's wrong with me?
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This is where I shine.
This is who I am!
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00:05:12,884 --> 00:05:14,755
Aw, my poor blocked-up baby.
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I'm gonna beat this.
They're gonna make
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00:05:16,125 --> 00:05:17,861
an independent movie
about it someday.
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00:05:17,861 --> 00:05:20,100
LOUISE: Well, that's
the cannon up there.
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00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,602
We're definitely looking
in the right place.
168
00:05:21,602 --> 00:05:22,904
Where are the cannonballs?
169
00:05:23,004 --> 00:05:24,108
I mean, people probably
found them all?
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00:05:24,208 --> 00:05:25,310
Oh, look, there's something.
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00:05:25,310 --> 00:05:27,914
Oh. No, just
part of a dead crab.
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But it's kind of cool.
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Could work for show-and-tell?
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Aah! The legs moved.
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00:05:32,057 --> 00:05:34,161
You're gonna be fine,
little guy. Heh.
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Let's keep going.
He's not gonna be fine.
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00:05:36,065 --> 00:05:37,634
Yeah, besides, I can't
walk into show-and-tell
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00:05:37,768 --> 00:05:39,371
with half a dead crab, Tina.
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00:05:39,471 --> 00:05:41,909
I'd get laughed out of there.
I'd get booed.
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00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,146
Wait, people boo
at show-and-tell?
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00:05:43,146 --> 00:05:44,948
I mean, Ms. Labonz
boos sometimes.
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- Harsh.
- Yeah.
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00:05:46,118 --> 00:05:48,523
- Hey, there's Gus.
- Hi, Gus.
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00:05:48,523 --> 00:05:49,558
Hello, kids.
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00:05:49,658 --> 00:05:50,727
You haven't
caught any cannonballs
186
00:05:50,827 --> 00:05:51,929
with that thing, have you?
187
00:05:51,929 --> 00:05:53,266
Nope, just trying
to catch my dinner.
188
00:05:53,366 --> 00:05:54,935
Well, I hope you
reel in a pizza then.
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00:05:55,036 --> 00:05:56,338
(chuckles)
Just kidding.
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00:05:56,338 --> 00:05:58,242
I know pizzas
don't live in the ocean.
191
00:05:58,242 --> 00:06:00,747
You know, there were cannons
all along the bluff up there.
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00:06:00,747 --> 00:06:01,882
They went past the point.
193
00:06:01,882 --> 00:06:03,252
If I was looking
for a cannonball,
194
00:06:03,352 --> 00:06:04,955
I'd look over there
in the rocks.
195
00:06:05,090 --> 00:06:06,992
Not as many people
walking around over there.
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00:06:07,094 --> 00:06:08,796
It's a little harder to get to.
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00:06:08,796 --> 00:06:10,900
Or I'd look in the caves
beyond the point
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00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:12,471
- if it wasn't so dangerous.
- Interesting.
199
00:06:12,471 --> 00:06:15,210
Another reason people don't go
there is it gets pretty stinky.
200
00:06:15,210 --> 00:06:17,380
- How stinky we talking?
- Pretty nasty.
201
00:06:17,481 --> 00:06:20,887
It comes from a seaweed that
gets washed up called sargassum.
202
00:06:20,987 --> 00:06:22,290
Smells like rotten eggs.
203
00:06:22,290 --> 00:06:25,096
I got some in my boat
in 1986 and it still smells.
204
00:06:25,096 --> 00:06:28,102
Not that my boat smelled great
before that, but still.
205
00:06:28,102 --> 00:06:29,338
- Thanks, Gus.
- You're welcome.
206
00:06:29,338 --> 00:06:31,175
Looks like we're
going on those rocks.
207
00:06:31,175 --> 00:06:33,346
What? But Mom said
no going on the rocks.
208
00:06:33,346 --> 00:06:35,083
And if we don't
find anything there,
209
00:06:35,083 --> 00:06:36,652
- we're looking in the caves.
- Dad said no caves!
210
00:06:36,652 --> 00:06:39,892
Tina, that was before we got
all the hot tips from Gus.
211
00:06:39,992 --> 00:06:41,362
The hot Gus goss.
212
00:06:41,362 --> 00:06:42,931
It's obviously where
the cannonballs are gonna be.
213
00:06:42,931 --> 00:06:45,036
And look-- the tide's going out.
214
00:06:45,136 --> 00:06:46,238
It's perfectly safe.
215
00:06:46,238 --> 00:06:48,309
Oh, also, the tide's coming in,
216
00:06:48,309 --> 00:06:50,513
so you definitely don't
want to go in the caves now.
217
00:06:50,513 --> 00:06:53,152
Unless you like drowning.
Most people don't.
218
00:06:53,152 --> 00:06:55,156
(muffled): So be careful
looking around over there.
219
00:06:55,156 --> 00:06:56,492
- What did he say?
- I don't know.
220
00:06:56,492 --> 00:06:58,629
- I think he caught a fish.
- Oh. Way to go, Gus.
221
00:06:58,629 --> 00:07:01,402
- (muffled): Okay, then.
- See Tina? Everything's great.
222
00:07:01,402 --> 00:07:03,739
Gus caught his dinner
and I'm gonna be the winner.
223
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,645
- Of show-and-tell.
That's the spirit. - Aah, aah, aah, aah, aah!
224
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,624
No cannonball there.
No cannonball there.
225
00:07:12,624 --> 00:07:14,294
Whoa.
Tina, you see anything?
226
00:07:14,294 --> 00:07:16,332
No, I'm kind of more
focused on not falling off
227
00:07:16,432 --> 00:07:18,436
these very slippery rocks
we're not supposed to be on
228
00:07:18,436 --> 00:07:20,440
and being taken away
by the ocean.
229
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,679
Oof, now I smell the seaweed
Gus was talking about.
230
00:07:23,679 --> 00:07:25,116
Oh, yeah, the sargassum.
231
00:07:25,116 --> 00:07:26,519
Are you being "sargasstic?"
Ha!
232
00:07:26,519 --> 00:07:28,756
Look at the not-dangerous fun
we're having.
233
00:07:28,756 --> 00:07:30,293
Uh-huh, totally. Hey,
234
00:07:30,293 --> 00:07:32,164
I know I'm the one who said
you should do something real
235
00:07:32,164 --> 00:07:33,866
for show-and-tell,
but there's lots of real things
236
00:07:33,966 --> 00:07:36,505
- we can find that aren't near
smelly, dangerous rocks. - Tina,
237
00:07:36,505 --> 00:07:40,180
this is my final show-and-tell.
This has to be spectacular.
238
00:07:40,180 --> 00:07:43,452
I want people to say,
"Just being near Louise Belcher
239
00:07:43,452 --> 00:07:44,855
"gives my life meaning.
240
00:07:44,955 --> 00:07:47,961
Praise Louise Belcher.
Praise Louise Belcher."
241
00:07:47,961 --> 00:07:49,631
Oh! I don't like
when it does that.
242
00:07:49,731 --> 00:07:52,237
Well, maybe it doesn't like
when you're so negative.
243
00:07:52,337 --> 00:07:53,706
Yup, yup.
Sorry, ocean.
244
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:57,347
LINDA:
Uh, the screen seems like it might be, uh...
245
00:07:57,347 --> 00:07:59,518
BOB:
Incredibly inconvenient?
246
00:07:59,518 --> 00:08:02,524
No, I was gonna say,
"a fun obstacle."
247
00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:04,228
BOB:
Why not just put the screen on the back wall?
248
00:08:04,328 --> 00:08:05,396
'Cause of the booths, Bob.
249
00:08:05,496 --> 00:08:07,033
If the screen's
on the back wall,
250
00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:08,603
the people facing the door
can't see it.
251
00:08:08,603 --> 00:08:11,175
This way everyone just
has to turn their head.
252
00:08:11,175 --> 00:08:12,344
Yeah, people like
watching things
253
00:08:12,344 --> 00:08:13,813
that are to the side of them.
254
00:08:13,913 --> 00:08:15,183
It's like, "Hey, you."
255
00:08:15,183 --> 00:08:16,819
- Teddy...
- Bob, it's fine.
256
00:08:16,952 --> 00:08:18,089
It's just one day.
257
00:08:18,089 --> 00:08:19,224
And it's just
one piece of paper.
258
00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:20,493
BOB:
And also all of that.
259
00:08:20,493 --> 00:08:24,000
Right. So you had
all these printed, Teddy?
260
00:08:24,101 --> 00:08:25,203
Well, I had to.
You'd be surprised
261
00:08:25,203 --> 00:08:27,240
how few stores there are
that sell posters
262
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,244
with motivational
hurling phrases on them.
263
00:08:29,344 --> 00:08:31,215
What does
"shorten the grip" mean?
264
00:08:31,315 --> 00:08:33,119
I'm not exactly sure.
I just went online
265
00:08:33,219 --> 00:08:34,655
and looked up hurling phrases.
266
00:08:34,655 --> 00:08:35,523
Very smart.
267
00:08:35,523 --> 00:08:37,394
"Three cheers
for crisp striking."
268
00:08:37,494 --> 00:08:40,033
I kind of made up the
"three cheers" part of that one.
269
00:08:40,033 --> 00:08:41,168
It's good.
270
00:08:41,268 --> 00:08:42,571
Kathleen is gonna love it.
271
00:08:42,571 --> 00:08:44,441
Well, hopefully the other
guys will like it, too.
272
00:08:44,541 --> 00:08:46,178
- Other guys?
- Yeah, I found a local
273
00:08:46,278 --> 00:08:47,714
hurling enthusiast club online.
274
00:08:47,814 --> 00:08:49,451
- I invited them all.
- Y-You did?
275
00:08:49,451 --> 00:08:52,090
Yeah, you can't watch an
exciting live sporting event
276
00:08:52,090 --> 00:08:53,392
in a quiet restaurant.
277
00:08:53,392 --> 00:08:55,096
- Not that quiet.
- Pretty quiet.
278
00:08:55,096 --> 00:08:56,332
Yeah, you can
hear Bob breathing.
279
00:08:56,332 --> 00:08:58,001
- Really? You can?
- Yeah, it's nice.
280
00:08:58,102 --> 00:08:59,304
- It's loud.
- I can tell you're alive
281
00:08:59,304 --> 00:09:00,540
when you're back in the kitchen.
282
00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:02,244
- I don't have to check on you.
- BOB: Mm.
283
00:09:02,344 --> 00:09:04,248
Well, sounds like
we may have a busy day.
284
00:09:04,248 --> 00:09:06,619
- That's good.
- Yeah, I guess it is.
285
00:09:06,619 --> 00:09:08,422
- The online group
is just three people. - BOB: Oh.
286
00:09:08,556 --> 00:09:10,893
Should we put this up here
or should we put it outside?
287
00:09:10,994 --> 00:09:12,030
What's a good spot?
288
00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:14,668
♪ Oh, my old Irish Rose. ♪
289
00:09:14,668 --> 00:09:17,006
It's not a real song, Bobby.
I made it up.
290
00:09:17,006 --> 00:09:18,276
You thought it was a real song.
291
00:09:18,376 --> 00:09:19,578
It's not,
it just sounds like one.
292
00:09:19,678 --> 00:09:23,786
Okay. Cool cave.
But it doesn't smell great.
293
00:09:23,786 --> 00:09:25,022
Huh, let's look.
294
00:09:25,123 --> 00:09:26,292
Nope, don't see
any cannonballs in there.
295
00:09:26,292 --> 00:09:27,894
Oh, well, we tried.
Guess we go back,
296
00:09:27,894 --> 00:09:29,064
see if that interesting
297
00:09:29,164 --> 00:09:29,998
half-crab is still
hanging around?
298
00:09:30,099 --> 00:09:30,900
Tina, I'm going in.
299
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,270
But Dad said no.
300
00:09:32,270 --> 00:09:33,806
And you know what's fun?
Listening to your parents
301
00:09:33,806 --> 00:09:35,176
and remaining alive.
302
00:09:35,276 --> 00:09:37,480
It's fine, I can just
go in there by myself.
303
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,420
No need for you to feel guilty
or responsible for my fate.
304
00:09:40,420 --> 00:09:42,357
Just because you're my
big sister and my protector
305
00:09:42,357 --> 00:09:44,294
and finding something real
and true was all your idea.
306
00:09:44,394 --> 00:09:46,532
But are we sure
the tide is going out?
307
00:09:46,632 --> 00:09:48,602
Looks like it
might be coming in?
308
00:09:48,602 --> 00:09:51,442
Tina, I've lived by the sea
for over nine years now.
309
00:09:51,575 --> 00:09:54,348
I think I know a thing
or two about the tides, m'kay?
310
00:09:54,348 --> 00:09:55,483
Uh...
311
00:09:55,483 --> 00:09:57,320
Oh, uh-oh, look--
oh, I'm in.
312
00:09:57,420 --> 00:09:59,057
Ah, see how easy it is to go in?
313
00:09:59,157 --> 00:10:01,895
- Look how "in" I am.
- Ugh. Fine.
314
00:10:02,831 --> 00:10:04,234
Whoa. (gags)
315
00:10:04,334 --> 00:10:06,672
Right? The smell
is another thing
316
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,309
that keeps away the looky-loos.
317
00:10:08,309 --> 00:10:09,711
But not us,
because we've been training
318
00:10:09,711 --> 00:10:11,615
our whole lives for this
by living with Gene.
319
00:10:11,715 --> 00:10:15,723
Now, come on.
Let's go find mama a cannonball!
320
00:10:15,723 --> 00:10:16,592
You guys good?
321
00:10:16,692 --> 00:10:18,329
(Irish accent):
We're good. Cheers.
322
00:10:18,329 --> 00:10:20,233
Isn't this place great?
Good banners, huh?
323
00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:21,568
Such good phrases.
324
00:10:21,568 --> 00:10:24,241
So, uh... who are you guys
rooting for today?
325
00:10:24,341 --> 00:10:25,476
Waterford or Tipperary?
326
00:10:25,576 --> 00:10:27,213
Can't you tell
by what we're wearing?
327
00:10:27,313 --> 00:10:29,351
It's obviously Waterfor...
328
00:10:29,451 --> 00:10:31,355
- Tipperary.
- Of course. (laughs)
329
00:10:31,455 --> 00:10:33,426
'Cause those are the colors
that Tipperary wears.
330
00:10:33,526 --> 00:10:34,861
This guy didn't know that,
331
00:10:34,961 --> 00:10:35,997
- but I do.
- What?
332
00:10:35,997 --> 00:10:37,167
What can I get
you hurly-burlies?
333
00:10:37,167 --> 00:10:38,936
Burger of the day
for me, please.
334
00:10:38,936 --> 00:10:39,938
- Same.
- Me as well.
335
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:41,241
And three beers, thanks.
336
00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:42,510
I'll put that order in
for you gentlemen,
337
00:10:42,510 --> 00:10:44,013
and now, if you'll excuse me,
338
00:10:44,013 --> 00:10:45,750
I'm gonna go see
if can tickle the ivory.
339
00:10:45,850 --> 00:10:47,887
I'm assuming that's
what toilets are made of.
340
00:10:47,887 --> 00:10:48,956
- Wish me luck.
- Gene.
341
00:10:48,956 --> 00:10:49,958
Go get 'em, honey.
342
00:10:49,958 --> 00:10:52,163
Okay, not loving this.
343
00:10:52,263 --> 00:10:53,933
Not loving this at all.
344
00:10:54,034 --> 00:10:56,538
Everything in my body
is telling me we should leave.
345
00:10:56,638 --> 00:10:58,275
Mostly my nose,
because of the smell.
346
00:10:58,376 --> 00:11:00,980
Oh, and yup, that's more water.
347
00:11:00,980 --> 00:11:02,350
Huh.
That's more water!
348
00:11:02,350 --> 00:11:03,853
- Louise!
- Yeah?
349
00:11:03,986 --> 00:11:04,955
Cool update.
350
00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:06,091
The tide is coming in.
351
00:11:06,091 --> 00:11:08,162
Well, that's odd.
And kind of rude.
352
00:11:08,162 --> 00:11:09,898
But even if it is
just now coming in,
353
00:11:09,998 --> 00:11:11,235
we have plenty of time.
354
00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:12,637
Come help me look over here.
355
00:11:12,637 --> 00:11:15,343
If I was a cannonball,
I'd love this area.
356
00:11:15,343 --> 00:11:16,612
Whoa.
But watch your step.
357
00:11:16,612 --> 00:11:18,449
There's a crevice.
Not in a bad way.
358
00:11:18,549 --> 00:11:20,887
It's the good kind of crevice.
(grunts)
359
00:11:23,192 --> 00:11:24,795
Okay, that's
a little bit alarming.
360
00:11:24,795 --> 00:11:28,702
I can see now that it doesn't
seem totally safe to be in here.
361
00:11:28,702 --> 00:11:29,704
So, can we go?
362
00:11:29,704 --> 00:11:31,141
Did I hear you say
five more minutes?
363
00:11:31,241 --> 00:11:31,975
That seems fair.
364
00:11:32,077 --> 00:11:33,979
- Louise!
- Ugh, okay.
365
00:11:34,081 --> 00:11:35,216
Crap.
It should not
366
00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:36,819
be this hard
to find a cannonball
367
00:11:36,819 --> 00:11:38,189
from the War of 1812.
368
00:11:38,189 --> 00:11:40,259
I want to write
an angry letter to somebody.
369
00:11:40,359 --> 00:11:42,397
Ken Burns, maybe?
Damn it.
370
00:11:42,497 --> 00:11:43,766
Yeah, damn, damn, damn.
371
00:11:43,866 --> 00:11:45,803
And also if we could just
pick up the pace a bit.
372
00:11:45,937 --> 00:11:47,073
- Tina.
- What is it?
373
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:48,576
Something that we
can walk and talk about?
374
00:11:48,676 --> 00:11:50,413
Cannonball!
375
00:11:50,413 --> 00:11:52,317
Wait, seriously?
I can't believe it.
376
00:11:52,317 --> 00:11:53,919
Yeah, sneaky little cannonball.
377
00:11:53,919 --> 00:11:55,723
Thought you could hide from me.
378
00:11:55,723 --> 00:11:58,529
Oh, it's stuck.
Here, help me dig around it.
379
00:11:58,629 --> 00:12:00,266
- Louise!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, the tide.
380
00:12:00,366 --> 00:12:01,969
I know.
That's all you talk about now.
381
00:12:01,969 --> 00:12:03,339
Keep digging!
(grunting)
382
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:04,941
I don't want to die,
I don't want to die.
383
00:12:05,042 --> 00:12:05,943
Saying that is super helpful.
384
00:12:05,943 --> 00:12:07,580
- Is it?
- No.
385
00:12:10,853 --> 00:12:12,423
I did it! I found it!
I'm the amazing girl
386
00:12:12,423 --> 00:12:14,327
who found a cannonball
in a stinky cave.
387
00:12:14,327 --> 00:12:15,830
Congratulations, Louise.
But you know
388
00:12:15,830 --> 00:12:18,369
what's a little more important
right now than that cannonball--
389
00:12:18,469 --> 00:12:21,074
- air, and breathing it.
- Agree to disagree.
390
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:22,310
We have to go.
391
00:12:22,310 --> 00:12:24,247
Uh-uh, no way
am I leaving this thing.
392
00:12:24,347 --> 00:12:25,450
She's my baby now.
393
00:12:25,550 --> 00:12:27,253
Which makes you her aunt.
Keep digging.
394
00:12:27,253 --> 00:12:28,889
Louise, it's wedged
between the rocks.
395
00:12:28,889 --> 00:12:30,760
- Digging's not gonna help.
- Is that what they said
396
00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,764
when those raiders
discovered the lost Ark?
397
00:12:32,864 --> 00:12:34,301
- No. So dig.
- (groans)
398
00:12:34,301 --> 00:12:36,505
Dig till our faces melt off!
399
00:12:36,638 --> 00:12:38,209
BOB:
This is really not ideal.
400
00:12:38,209 --> 00:12:40,346
I like turning
my head like this.
401
00:12:40,346 --> 00:12:41,615
I'm stretching out my neck.
402
00:12:41,615 --> 00:12:43,017
Also, it's kind of like
you're in prison
403
00:12:43,017 --> 00:12:44,054
and I've come to visit you.
404
00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,857
- BOB: Mm.
- Hey, Kathleen.
405
00:12:45,957 --> 00:12:47,327
- Hiya.
- Kathleen, you made it.
406
00:12:47,427 --> 00:12:49,464
Wow!
Look at all this.
407
00:12:49,464 --> 00:12:52,270
It's fun, right?
Welcome to the Hurling Zone.
408
00:12:52,370 --> 00:12:54,141
(laughs) Eh...
409
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:55,510
- Do you like the banners?
- Yeah.
410
00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:57,012
- I don't think it's too many.
- No.
411
00:12:57,012 --> 00:12:58,716
I-I think it's the right amount
of banners. And those
412
00:12:58,716 --> 00:13:00,820
are some fellow hurling heads.
(chuckles)
413
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:02,957
Ooh, I think
some of them are from Ireland.
414
00:13:03,092 --> 00:13:04,227
Do you know them?
415
00:13:04,227 --> 00:13:05,196
It's a pretty
big country, Teddy.
416
00:13:05,196 --> 00:13:06,365
Oh, wait, that's my dad.
417
00:13:06,365 --> 00:13:07,634
- What?
- I'm kidding.
418
00:13:07,634 --> 00:13:09,237
- Right, right.
- Could be a cousin though.
419
00:13:09,237 --> 00:13:11,241
So, you folks
watch hurling, then?
420
00:13:11,241 --> 00:13:12,677
- They do now.
- Yeah, we do.
421
00:13:12,677 --> 00:13:14,781
- Sports.
- We're-we're trying it out today
422
00:13:14,781 --> 00:13:17,153
and seeing how it goes.
I don't love the screen
423
00:13:17,153 --> 00:13:18,389
being where it is
424
00:13:18,489 --> 00:13:20,626
and I-I miss the way
things were before.
425
00:13:20,626 --> 00:13:22,630
- Oh.
- But, yeah, everything's fine.
426
00:13:22,630 --> 00:13:25,169
I miss the way
things were before, too.
427
00:13:25,169 --> 00:13:26,238
When I could poop.
428
00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:27,607
- What?
- Don't look at me!
429
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:28,909
- He's constipated.
- GENE: Just in my butt.
430
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,682
- Uh, have a seat, Kathleen.
- Okay. Thank you.
431
00:13:31,782 --> 00:13:33,752
- Can you see okay?
- Yeah, sure.
432
00:13:33,853 --> 00:13:34,754
Is there any sound?
433
00:13:34,754 --> 00:13:36,391
It's coming
out of the projector.
434
00:13:36,391 --> 00:13:37,560
If you're really quiet,
you can hear it.
435
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,197
Shh, shh, shh.
Do you hear it?
436
00:13:39,297 --> 00:13:40,199
Oh, yeah, there it is.
437
00:13:40,299 --> 00:13:41,301
Oh, it's starting.
438
00:13:41,301 --> 00:13:42,303
Look at those guys.
439
00:13:42,303 --> 00:13:43,672
Look at them hurl.
440
00:13:43,772 --> 00:13:45,643
Okay, I'm gonna pull.
Move over.
441
00:13:45,643 --> 00:13:47,513
TINA:
Quickly. They're gonna be pulling us out of here
442
00:13:47,513 --> 00:13:49,584
- once we drown.
- Don't be so dramatic
443
00:13:49,684 --> 00:13:52,724
just because it might happen.
Hey, maybe we can pry it out.
444
00:13:52,824 --> 00:13:54,394
People pry stuff
out of things, right?
445
00:13:54,394 --> 00:13:56,064
And another wave.
446
00:13:56,164 --> 00:13:57,901
We've got this, Tina.
All that's left
447
00:13:57,901 --> 00:14:00,606
is to pop this sucker out
and skip to freedom.
448
00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:02,577
- I'm not very good at skipping.
- Aah!
449
00:14:02,577 --> 00:14:05,249
Just let go, cannonball.
Come to me.
450
00:14:05,249 --> 00:14:07,353
I can take you away
from all of this.
451
00:14:07,453 --> 00:14:09,257
Wow, look at them
452
00:14:09,257 --> 00:14:10,693
do what they're doing.
453
00:14:10,693 --> 00:14:12,697
I mean, I knew I was
gonna see some hurling,
454
00:14:12,697 --> 00:14:14,634
but I didn't know
I was gonna see hurling.
455
00:14:14,634 --> 00:14:17,340
Uh, yeah.
Excuse me, I have to go
456
00:14:17,340 --> 00:14:18,609
to the restroom.
I've been holding it in
457
00:14:18,709 --> 00:14:19,711
since, uh, I got here.
(short chuckle)
458
00:14:19,711 --> 00:14:21,315
GENE:
Have fun in there.
459
00:14:21,315 --> 00:14:23,352
- Must be nice.
- It's just a wee.
460
00:14:23,452 --> 00:14:25,156
GENE:
That's how they all start.
461
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:26,158
- TEDDY: Guys.
- What?
462
00:14:26,158 --> 00:14:27,226
I'm so nervous.
463
00:14:27,327 --> 00:14:28,562
I-I don't get this game at all.
464
00:14:28,562 --> 00:14:29,998
Does it seem like
I know what I'm talking about?
465
00:14:30,099 --> 00:14:32,570
- Oh, yeah.
- Really? Good, 'cause I'm freaking out.
466
00:14:32,570 --> 00:14:35,409
Why? It's going good.
Right, Bob?
467
00:14:35,409 --> 00:14:36,678
Oh, oh, yeah.
468
00:14:36,678 --> 00:14:38,014
Um, from what I can see
from under here,
469
00:14:38,014 --> 00:14:41,355
you're-you're not acting
too strangely at all.
470
00:14:41,455 --> 00:14:43,826
Uh, no. What?
We don't want more fries.
471
00:14:43,826 --> 00:14:46,064
Always upselling the fries,
these two.
472
00:14:46,064 --> 00:14:48,502
- Oh, I'll take more fries.
- Great. More fries, please.
473
00:14:48,602 --> 00:14:49,971
That's what I was
trying to tell you, Bob.
474
00:14:49,971 --> 00:14:52,277
- You got to learn to listen.
- BOB: Mm-hmm.
475
00:14:52,277 --> 00:14:53,479
(Tina and Louise grunting)
476
00:14:53,479 --> 00:14:55,249
Pull harder!
477
00:14:55,383 --> 00:14:56,852
(both grunting)
478
00:14:56,852 --> 00:14:59,190
Oh! Oh, oh, my butt.
479
00:14:59,291 --> 00:15:01,261
(gasps) Tina, look. We did it!
480
00:15:01,261 --> 00:15:04,167
Yeah, great. Let's go, let's go,
let's go, let's go, let's go.
481
00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:05,303
Ow. Butt.
482
00:15:05,303 --> 00:15:06,371
Ow. So heavy.
483
00:15:06,471 --> 00:15:08,742
Ow. Butt. Okay, dropping it.
484
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:11,481
- Okay, picking it up again.
Ow, ow, - Faster.
485
00:15:11,481 --> 00:15:13,118
- ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
- Faster, faster.
486
00:15:13,218 --> 00:15:14,521
Oh, my butt. Oh, my butt.
487
00:15:14,621 --> 00:15:17,493
Okay, this crevice is probably
easier to jump over
488
00:15:17,593 --> 00:15:19,564
when you're not
carrying a heavy cannonball.
489
00:15:19,664 --> 00:15:21,368
I'm assuming. Stand back.
490
00:15:21,368 --> 00:15:22,804
I'm gonna shot-put
this baby over.
491
00:15:22,804 --> 00:15:24,874
Wait, is that a good idea?
Oh, you're doing it.
492
00:15:24,975 --> 00:15:26,278
- Aah!
- Aah!
493
00:15:26,378 --> 00:15:27,347
No! My angel!
494
00:15:27,347 --> 00:15:28,916
Aah!
I can't reach it.
495
00:15:29,016 --> 00:15:30,853
I can't even see it.
Where did it go?
496
00:15:30,853 --> 00:15:32,790
I'm pretty sure
it went down there.
497
00:15:32,790 --> 00:15:34,627
Is that not what
you wanted to hear?
498
00:15:34,627 --> 00:15:36,431
- Aah!
- Guess not.
499
00:15:39,971 --> 00:15:43,445
- Louise, we have to go.
- No. I can swim down and get it.
500
00:15:43,445 --> 00:15:46,218
It's fine, I'm already
covered in stink water.
501
00:15:46,218 --> 00:15:48,188
Do you have any scuba gear? No?
502
00:15:48,288 --> 00:15:50,726
That crevice is so deep
we can't even see the bottom.
503
00:15:50,726 --> 00:15:53,065
The cannonball is gone.
We have to go.
504
00:15:53,065 --> 00:15:54,134
- But...
- Now!
505
00:15:54,134 --> 00:15:56,605
(groans) Okay, fine.
506
00:15:56,605 --> 00:15:59,411
Let's go.
Goodbye, stupid cannonball.
507
00:15:59,511 --> 00:16:01,048
You could have
had a beautiful life.
508
00:16:01,148 --> 00:16:03,719
You could have been
part of show-and-tell history.
509
00:16:03,819 --> 00:16:06,992
Not just dumb old
War of 1812 history.
510
00:16:06,992 --> 00:16:09,564
- Up here.
- (grunts)
511
00:16:11,501 --> 00:16:13,972
Okay, that was probably
the last wave.
512
00:16:13,972 --> 00:16:15,743
Should we head back in?
513
00:16:16,511 --> 00:16:18,182
Yeah, never mind.
514
00:16:18,182 --> 00:16:21,154
Mmm. Oh, wow.
(laughs)
515
00:16:21,288 --> 00:16:22,790
It's like I'm nervous.
516
00:16:22,790 --> 00:16:24,094
Do you eat more
when you're nervous?
517
00:16:24,194 --> 00:16:26,064
I mean, I'm not.
I don't. I mean, I don't.
518
00:16:26,064 --> 00:16:27,433
- Yeah, no.
- Uh, Linda.
519
00:16:27,433 --> 00:16:29,871
- Can we get more fries, please?
- Uh, sure.
520
00:16:29,971 --> 00:16:31,808
This is so much better
than hockey.
521
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,314
I-I can't even believe
I liked that garbage.
522
00:16:34,314 --> 00:16:35,950
And watched every game I could
523
00:16:35,950 --> 00:16:37,820
and I'm involved in a bunch
of fantasy hockey leagues.
524
00:16:37,820 --> 00:16:39,824
- Remind me to quit those.
- (chuckles): Okay.
525
00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:41,428
How we doing
on those fries, Bob?
526
00:16:41,428 --> 00:16:42,430
Coming up, Teddy.
527
00:16:42,530 --> 00:16:44,701
You literally
just ordered them.
528
00:16:44,701 --> 00:16:46,471
- Uh-oh. Oh, no.
- Oh, boy.
529
00:16:46,471 --> 00:16:48,475
- Oh...
- I think we're gonna head out.
530
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:49,577
- Thanks.
- Wait.
531
00:16:49,677 --> 00:16:50,813
Where are you guys going?
532
00:16:50,813 --> 00:16:53,052
It's just a bit hard to hear.
And see.
533
00:16:53,052 --> 00:16:55,189
so we might watch the rest
at Julian's house.
534
00:16:55,289 --> 00:16:56,992
Uh, no, no, no.
Don't leave.
535
00:16:57,093 --> 00:16:59,130
This is the Hurling Zone.
We're having fun.
536
00:16:59,130 --> 00:17:00,466
Hey, can you believe, uh,
537
00:17:00,566 --> 00:17:02,236
how much those guys
shortened the grip?
538
00:17:02,336 --> 00:17:04,407
You said that a few times today.
539
00:17:04,407 --> 00:17:06,478
I'm not sure
you know what it means.
540
00:17:06,578 --> 00:17:07,580
But, thanks. Bye.
541
00:17:07,580 --> 00:17:09,751
The grip.
They shortened it.
542
00:17:09,851 --> 00:17:11,488
Damn it. No, wait.
Don't you leave, too.
543
00:17:11,488 --> 00:17:13,058
I'll get better
at hurling watching.
544
00:17:13,158 --> 00:17:14,561
I'll learn to love it
and then we can
545
00:17:14,561 --> 00:17:16,198
have the same hobbies
and it'll be great.
546
00:17:16,198 --> 00:17:18,569
I was just getting up
to get more napkins, Teddy.
547
00:17:18,669 --> 00:17:20,139
Oh. Oh, good.
(chuckles)
548
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:23,078
Ah! Oh. Something's changed.
Opportunity's knocking.
549
00:17:23,178 --> 00:17:24,214
Time to take my shot.
550
00:17:24,214 --> 00:17:25,483
- BOB: Ow.
- Sorry.
551
00:17:25,583 --> 00:17:27,018
Excuse me.
This is bigger than all of us!
552
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:29,491
Teddy, it seems like
maybe you're trying
553
00:17:29,624 --> 00:17:32,096
way too hard for us
to like the same thing?
554
00:17:32,096 --> 00:17:32,930
Damn it.
Greasy fingers.
555
00:17:32,930 --> 00:17:35,001
But isn't that what people who
556
00:17:35,001 --> 00:17:37,206
may or may not
want to spend more time
557
00:17:37,206 --> 00:17:38,709
with another person do?
558
00:17:38,709 --> 00:17:40,513
Because, I mean, in the past,
559
00:17:40,613 --> 00:17:42,884
I've spent time
with people where we had
560
00:17:42,884 --> 00:17:45,523
none of the same interests
and it didn't end great,
561
00:17:45,623 --> 00:17:46,625
'cause we got divorced.
562
00:17:46,625 --> 00:17:47,760
Teddy, I think it's fine
563
00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:49,097
we have different interests.
564
00:17:49,197 --> 00:17:51,101
I like learning what
different stuff you like.
565
00:17:51,101 --> 00:17:53,172
And I already know about
what stuff I like.
566
00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:55,276
I don't even like
some of the stuff I like.
567
00:17:55,376 --> 00:17:56,611
- BOB: Come on.
- So, it's okay
568
00:17:56,711 --> 00:17:59,016
that I-I don't like
hurling very much? At all.
569
00:17:59,016 --> 00:18:01,121
And I can't seem to follow it
for some reason
570
00:18:01,221 --> 00:18:02,089
and it makes me angry?
571
00:18:02,089 --> 00:18:03,992
Of course it is.
You're not Irish.
572
00:18:03,992 --> 00:18:06,798
We legally have to like it.
Linda, tell him.
573
00:18:06,798 --> 00:18:08,936
Do you and Bob
like all the same things?
574
00:18:09,037 --> 00:18:10,873
Oh, God, no.
I like cool stuff
575
00:18:10,873 --> 00:18:12,210
and Bob likes
working on that little
576
00:18:12,310 --> 00:18:14,681
model airplane for, like,
the last ten years.
577
00:18:14,781 --> 00:18:16,184
It hasn't been ten years.
578
00:18:16,184 --> 00:18:18,020
Wait, it might be longer.
579
00:18:18,020 --> 00:18:19,591
- Crap.
- See?
580
00:18:19,691 --> 00:18:21,228
You big, stupid dummy.
581
00:18:21,328 --> 00:18:22,997
So I get to keep
all my hockey embroidery art
582
00:18:22,997 --> 00:18:24,400
- from Etsy?
- KATHLEEN: Hell no.
583
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,771
- Okay.
- Teddy, of course you can.
584
00:18:26,771 --> 00:18:29,210
- Oh, thank God.
- Mom! Dad!
585
00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:30,946
The eagle has landed!
586
00:18:31,081 --> 00:18:32,917
I'm myself again.
I'm better than myself.
587
00:18:33,051 --> 00:18:34,921
I feel like
I can do a cartwheel.
588
00:18:34,921 --> 00:18:35,789
(grunts)
589
00:18:35,890 --> 00:18:37,293
Nope, still can't do that.
590
00:18:37,293 --> 00:18:39,097
We're very happy for you, Gene.
591
00:18:39,197 --> 00:18:40,766
You put in the effort
and you did it.
592
00:18:40,866 --> 00:18:43,004
You know, we don't have to watch
the second half, Teddy.
593
00:18:43,105 --> 00:18:44,807
It's-it's... it's just
a beautiful game,
594
00:18:44,807 --> 00:18:47,413
- and kind of
a metaphor for life. - No, I want to.
595
00:18:47,513 --> 00:18:48,916
Now that I'm not
pretending to like it,
596
00:18:48,916 --> 00:18:50,486
- I-I might actually like it.
- Oh, my God.
597
00:18:50,486 --> 00:18:52,156
You like it because it doesn't
make any sense, is that right?
598
00:18:52,156 --> 00:18:53,926
I will stick this fork
in you, Teddy.
599
00:18:53,926 --> 00:18:56,097
All right, all right.
Teach me something.
600
00:18:56,198 --> 00:18:58,101
Okay, the ball
is called a sliotar.
601
00:18:58,202 --> 00:18:59,938
- TEDDY: Sleeter?
- KATHLEEN: (chuckles) Sliotar.
602
00:19:00,039 --> 00:19:01,808
- Shleeter.
- That's it. Kind of.
603
00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,445
TEDDY:
I never was good at languages.
604
00:19:03,445 --> 00:19:05,316
LOUISE:
Ugh. What a frickin' bust.
605
00:19:05,316 --> 00:19:08,822
No cannonball, my butt hurts,
I smell like a butt.
606
00:19:08,922 --> 00:19:10,726
(sniffs)
I think I might not smell.
607
00:19:10,826 --> 00:19:13,131
But it's hard to tell
'cause I'm walking next to you.
608
00:19:13,232 --> 00:19:14,601
What the hell am I gonna do
for tomorrow?
609
00:19:14,701 --> 00:19:16,905
Hey, what if we made
our own cannonball?
610
00:19:17,005 --> 00:19:18,275
No one knows
what they really look like.
611
00:19:18,275 --> 00:19:20,479
We could paint a Skee-Ball
from Wonder Wharf.
612
00:19:20,479 --> 00:19:21,715
They'll never know
the difference.
613
00:19:21,815 --> 00:19:23,218
I could put some
fake blood on it.
614
00:19:23,218 --> 00:19:25,222
Not sure if a cannonball
would have blood on it,
615
00:19:25,322 --> 00:19:26,391
just thinking out loud.
616
00:19:26,391 --> 00:19:27,827
You know, Louise, you could
617
00:19:27,827 --> 00:19:28,962
tell what really happened.
618
00:19:28,962 --> 00:19:31,668
Oh, what, Tina--
that I failed?
619
00:19:31,668 --> 00:19:33,004
That I lost the cannonball,
620
00:19:33,004 --> 00:19:35,543
I got stinky
sarguss-whatever on me,
621
00:19:35,643 --> 00:19:36,444
I bruised my butt?
622
00:19:36,545 --> 00:19:38,282
Everyone's always
talking about how cool
623
00:19:38,415 --> 00:19:41,555
butt bruises are, right?
No, I'm not doing that.
624
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,425
Real life Louise
is too disappointing.
625
00:19:43,425 --> 00:19:46,097
Louise, I know you think
you've got to impress everybody,
626
00:19:46,097 --> 00:19:48,201
but I bet the kids in your class
would like to hear about
627
00:19:48,302 --> 00:19:50,472
the stuff that's maybe
a little embarrassing.
628
00:19:50,472 --> 00:19:53,111
Sometimes those stories
are even better than the stories
629
00:19:53,111 --> 00:19:55,416
where everything goes right.
'Cause they're real.
630
00:19:55,516 --> 00:19:57,553
And because that kind of stuff
happens to everybody.
631
00:19:57,553 --> 00:20:00,726
I mean, there's probably not
always a cannonball involved,
632
00:20:00,726 --> 00:20:02,063
but sometimes, I'm assuming?
633
00:20:02,163 --> 00:20:03,899
And I hope you won't
take it too personally
634
00:20:03,899 --> 00:20:05,936
if I walk
a few feet away from you.
635
00:20:06,037 --> 00:20:07,707
'Cause I mean,
it is personal, um,
636
00:20:07,807 --> 00:20:09,043
from a hygienic standpoint,
637
00:20:09,143 --> 00:20:11,348
but, you know.
You know what I mean.
638
00:20:13,685 --> 00:20:15,723
So, yeah, I tried,
639
00:20:15,723 --> 00:20:17,693
but I didn't get the cannonball,
640
00:20:17,793 --> 00:20:19,063
and... the end.
641
00:20:19,163 --> 00:20:21,268
Of show-and-tell,
for me, forever.
642
00:20:21,368 --> 00:20:23,872
Uh... so...
643
00:20:23,872 --> 00:20:25,209
What's that smell?
644
00:20:25,342 --> 00:20:27,780
It's called sargassum.
It's a stinky seaweed
645
00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:29,917
that I'm thinking of selling
to the government
646
00:20:29,917 --> 00:20:32,490
- as a biological weapon.
- (chuckling)
647
00:20:32,490 --> 00:20:35,296
The cool part is you can
wash your hair five times,
648
00:20:35,396 --> 00:20:36,398
and it doesn't come out.
649
00:20:36,398 --> 00:20:38,435
But luckily, I love
the smell of fish farts,
650
00:20:38,535 --> 00:20:40,172
- so that works for me.
- (laughing)
651
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:42,143
Oh, and by the way,
I also fell
652
00:20:42,143 --> 00:20:44,314
and hit my butt on a rock.
I have a bruise
653
00:20:44,414 --> 00:20:47,787
that looks sort of like this.
Like Australia.
654
00:20:47,887 --> 00:20:51,394
- Or "Ass-tralia?"
- Louise, don't say Ass-tralia.
655
00:20:51,494 --> 00:20:52,830
And no butt drawings.
656
00:20:52,930 --> 00:20:54,834
Hey, no bruise shaming, Labonz.
657
00:20:54,834 --> 00:20:56,237
Does anybody else
have a question?
658
00:20:56,338 --> 00:20:59,143
♪ One hand tackle
and a two hand catch ♪
659
00:20:59,143 --> 00:21:01,514
- ♪ Now we've got shemozzle ♪
- ♪ Got the... thing ♪
660
00:21:01,514 --> 00:21:03,618
- ♪ And we're leading the match,
come on ♪ - ♪ Uh... ♪
661
00:21:03,618 --> 00:21:06,524
♪ Sitting on the town end,
no place I'd rather be ♪
662
00:21:06,624 --> 00:21:10,299
♪ If it's our fate to lose
then let's blame the referee ♪
663
00:21:10,299 --> 00:21:12,370
♪ You think your team
can take us? ♪
664
00:21:12,370 --> 00:21:14,374
- ♪ Just look at the score ♪
- ♪ Dah-bah, dah-dah, score ♪
665
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:17,847
♪ 'Cause we've been
winning since 1884 ♪
666
00:21:17,947 --> 00:21:21,655
♪ Yeah, we've been winning
since 1884 ♪
667
00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,592
♪ So, raise a glass
to the tip-top ♪
668
00:21:23,692 --> 00:21:25,195
♪ We'll never be knocked off ♪
669
00:21:25,195 --> 00:21:27,733
♪ And if you
root for someone else ♪
670
00:21:27,833 --> 00:21:29,303
KATHLEEN:
♪ Well, then you can just... ♪
671
00:21:29,303 --> 00:21:30,406
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
672
00:21:30,406 --> 00:21:31,841
and TOYOTA.
673
00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:36,441
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