Original subtitles

(glass breaking)

- Tell me what you see. Is this better, or this?

Number one, or number two?

- Number two.

- Good, read the bottom line for me.

- N V T S L Q

- Excellent.

Now the right eye, can you read that?

- No.

- Anything?

- Nope.

- How about this?

- Is that a... K?

- And here?

- T?

- And this one?

- F?

- You have Ambliopia.

- Yeah.

- You didn't indicate it on your medical history form.

- Well, I didn't want to brag.

- When did you first notice a problem?

- When I was five, my grandmother noticed

that my right eye was drifting.

- I'm sorry, I mean the more recent problem.

- Oh, about a couple of weeks ago.

I was working on my laptop and everything went soft.

- [Doctor] Was it up close, or distance to?

(police sirens)

Dean.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

- When everything went soft, was it distance

or up close, or both?

- Uh, both.

- Okay, the good news is, your right eye,

the emblioptic one hasn't changed,

you have some vision there,

but there has been a change in your good eye.

Do you sit in front of a computer all day?

- Right, you make it sound so exciting.

- What do you do?

- I'm a graphic designer.

Is it serious, should I be worried?

- No, but I do think it's time for you

to move to progressive lenses.

- You mean... bifocals?

- More like trifocals, but don't worry,

it's perfectly normal for people to experience

a dramatic change in vision around middle age.

(instrumental music)

- Are they horrible?

- [Mel] They're awesome.

- You think?

- [Mel] Yeah.

- They don't make me look like I'm trying too hard?

- [Mel] Please, you live in Silver Lake.

- I don't get it, the top part is distance,

the bottom's close up, but the middle is this

weird limbo place where nothing is in focus.

- You've gotta point your nose.

- What?

- Turn around, turn.

- Point your nose?

- My doctor says you have to point your nose at the thing

you're trying to see.

- Point my nose?

- Yeah, try it.

Towards the thing, when you're looking up.

Towards the things.

- I am.

- No, now you're looking down.

- I'm looking...

- Okay, it's alright, you're gonna get used to it.

- You know I think I'm going blind.

- Well, we both know what caused that, I think.

- Yeah, well, you ain't kidding.

- Anyway, I don't want to throw the baby on the fire,

or whatever the expression is.

I don't know, anyway, Pearson called.

- And?

- Remember when he wanted graphic, minimalist, simple.

- Yeah, what we gave them.

- Uh, he doesn't want that anymore.

- What does he want?

- You're not gonna love it.

- Not three heads in the sky.

- It is not three heads in the sky, it is not.

- Uh, thank God.

- It's two heads in the sky.

- Mel, we did two heads in the sky, like six versions ago.

- No, we did three heads in the sky.

- Oh Jesus, and now they want two.

- Heads.

- In the sky.

- Floating over a generic landscape,

that's probably not even in the movie, I know.

- Oh, fuck me.

- Well, tried that in college, that was not very

satisfying for either of us.

(groans)

- Mel, why do they make us go through so many rounds

if they just want something safe?

- I don't know sweetheart, but they do and they're a

good client and they keep our lights on.

What should I tell them?

- Tell him that the other design was better.

Tell him that nobody goes to see a movie

because of the one sheet, ever.

In fact, you can tell him, that in the list of reasons

that people go see movies, the one sheet is at the

very bottom, so why not do something good, for once.

Something that will outlive his shitty movie.

- What is up?

- What?

- You've just been walking around here

for the last two weeks in this weird funky state.

Talk to me.

- Yeah, no, I know, I know, I just...

I got a um...

I just think I need to take a couple of days off.

- Oh yeah.

- I think I'm gonna drive out to the desert tonight.

- That's a great idea, let's go for the whole weekend,

we'll swim, we'll make cocktails, it'll be great.

- Oh, no, yeah, I meant by myself.

No, you know, just to clear my head.

- Oh.

- Sorry.

- It's fine, It's fine, it's fine.

I know when I'm not wanted, that's great, no problem.

Anyway, I do need you to finish these revisions

before you bolt, please.

- Okay, I'll do it at home tonight.

- Excellent.

- And what happened to the third head anyway?

- I don't know, the other heads have better agents.

Point your nose.

(instrumental music)

(guys yelling)

(shower running)

(country music on radio)

- [Voiceover] Dear Dean.

I hope you're the Dean I'm looking for.

If you are, and you remember me, you're probably

wondering why I'm writing after all these years.

Truth is, I'm wondering the same thing.

All I know is this morning I woke up listening to

National Public Radio, like I do every morning,

and as I was lying there in bed, I thought to myself,

why do I even listen to NPR?

And that's when I remembered, you.

You turned me on to National Public Radio

15 years ago, summer, New York City.

You turned me on to a lot of things that summer.

So I woke up thinking about you and wondering how you are,

and where you are, and a quick internet search

led me to your website.

You seem to be doing very well for yourself.

Though I was surprised to find you in Los Angeles.

I remember how much you loved New York City.

Anyway, I hope you're well, I'd love to hear from you.

Yours, Alex Coffina.

- [Voiceover] What a nice surprise.

Of course I remember you.

I'm flattered to be associated with National Public Radio,

though, since moving to LA, I hardly ever listen anymore.

I miss New York sometimes, but the truth is, I love LA.

Try not to judge me too much.

What can I say, it's nice to wake up and pick lemons

from a tree in my own backyard.

Tell me about your life, Dean.

(computer chimes)

- [Voiceover] No judgements here.

I used to believe that if I could find the perfect city,

all my problems would disappear,

but I've since learned, you take your problems with you.

Currently they're all in New Orleans.

I've been here for about six months.

Feel like I've been chasing my bliss for the last 15 years.

Never found it in a job, or a relationship.

Maybe it's in Los Angeles.

- [Voiceover] I don't know if your bliss can be found

in Los Angeles, but I have a little house in the desert

near Joshua Tree, that's as close as I've ever come

to finding mine.

It's small and quiet, and has great views.

Every time I'm there, I feel like I press this big

internal reset button.

Have you ever seen the Mojave, it's spectacular.

(cell phone vibrates)

- [Voiceover] I've been to the Gobi in East Asia

and the Patagonian in South America.

But I've never laid eyes on the Mojave.

I'd love to see it, know any good tour guides?

(radio playing country music)

* But you never took me in

* Like I needed

* I'd catch you cryin'

* For no reason

* But the truth

* And now the one that got away

* came back today

(screen closes)

(police sirens)

(instrumental music)

(heavy breathing)

- Can't believe this.

(water splashes)

(car drives up)

- Hey.

- Oh my God, you made it.

- Yeah.

- I was worried.

- I left you a message.

- Yeah there's no reception out here.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- You look great.

- You too.

(heavy breathing)

(instrumental music)

(moaning)

- How long have we been in here?

- Three hours, Jesus.

- It's easy to lose track out here.

- Yeah, no kidding.

- I didn't plan for this to happen.

- For what?

- This.

- Oh, it never crossed your mind?

- Well it crossed my mind, you?

- Definitely, I almost had to rub one out on the plane.

- Have you ever done that before?

- On a plane, sure.

- I can't imagine.

I always think that the plane's gonna crash

and they're gonna find my body in the wreckage

with my dick in my hand and my pants around my ankles.

I mean, what would my family say?

- He died as he lived.

- So that's what you think of me?

- Totally.

- I'm just a horn dog?

- You are the most sexual person I have ever dated.

- Whoa! - By far.

- What does that even mean, most sexual?

- As I recall, a disproportionate amount of our time

was spent naked in your bed.

- No, that's because I didn't have any AC in that apartment.

- Oh, gosh, man I'm sorry, no it had nothing to do with

your raging libido.

- Okay fine, I am a total horn dog.

- Yeah.

- I've been thinking about having sex with you

since I got your email.

- See.

- I got hard reading your email.

I got hard anticipating your next email.

- Well, I rest my case.

- I had to beat off last night,

hoping to prevent this from happening.

- Any regrets?

- No, you?

- Not yet.

(laughs)

Wait, why would you try to prevent this from happening?

This is fun.

- Have you really done that on a plane?

- Don't judge me.

- I mean come on, what ever happened to

delayed gratification guy?

- Well you apparently have never flown to Australia before.

- Actually I have.

- Really, wait, why'd you go to Australia?

- Vacation.

- Thank you.

- Thirsty, you want some water?

- Yes please.

Did you fly to Melbourne, I love Melbourne.

Did you see the 12 Apostles?

- Uh, yeah, you know, I was thinking,

maybe tomorrow we can go into town

and take a hike or something.

I want to show you some of the sights.

- That sounds fun.

Oh, fancy.

- What, lemons?

- Lemons, the sheets, this house.

- Palm Springs is fancy, Joshua Tree is for

the regular people.

- Yeah, I don't think regular people have second homes,

especially ones with pools.

- It's an investment property.

- Who are you?

- What?

- And what'd you do with my little Marxist punk

I picked up 15 years ago in a dive bar?

- Okay, there are two things wrong with that statement.

First of all, I was never a Marxist.

- Oh whatever.

- I was a democratic socialist, okay.

And more importantly, I picked you up.

- Oh, no.

- Absolutely.

- Okay, you are crazy and I can prove it.

- You're gonna need to.

- Where's my bag?

Oh my God.

Oh, God it's freezing.

Okay, little bar, on seventh street and second avenue.

- The Tile bar.

- That's not what it was called, but sure.

- We all called it Tile bar.

- Well it was my graduation night,

I was sitting on one end of the bar, you were on the other.

- What's this?

- Proof.

- You kept it.

- The bartender brought it over to me

and then I went and sat down next to you.

So I did the picking up.

- Well I think the person who did the drawing

is the one who did the picking, up.

And that was me.

- No, that was the one who did the drawing.

The one who actually had the balls to

get up off his ass, cross the bar, sit down next to you

and speak, did the picking up.

- Well I'm stunned.

I can't believe you kept it.

- Well, it was a nice summer.

- Can I keep it?

- No way.

- Come on, you've had it all these years, it's my turn.

- Fine, consider it on loan.

- You hungry?

- Starved.

- I'm gonna make a salad.

- Well I'm gonna take a shower.

- How do you feel about onions?

- I'm not scared.

(laughs)

Oh, don't remember you smoking.

- I don't smoke, well not tobacco anyway.

- Well whose are these?

- Oh, someone must have left those here.

- Oh, I love smoking.

- Well help yourself, just do it outside.

- I quit.

- I don't remember you smoking either.

- It was after us.

(instrumental music)

- You know, most of my clients want something safe,

they want something traditional.

Two heads in the sky, something like that.

- Wait, what's two heads in the sky?

- You know, you've seen it before.

Big faces of the movie stars over a landscape,

it's just so boring.

- Okay but aren't those movies usually boring?

- Yes but the poster doesn't have to be.

- Oh.

- I tell my clients, if we can distill the movie

down to it's essence and tell the story,

in a single image, the people actually have to

engage with the poster.

They have to interact with it,

and hey, maybe it'll make them want to

go see the movie more, you know.

- And what does the client say?

- They say great, now lets put two heads in the sky.

Which I do because I'm a tool.

I know I shouldn't care about this,

it's just a stupid poster, but you know, still.

- No, that's great, that is the guy that I remember.

- What, crazy?

- No, passionate.

Do you remember our first actual date?

You took me to see this awful movie downtown.

- Awful?

- Yeah, it was at some artsy theater on Howston,

about this young boy who falls in love with an old lady.

- Wait, you don't mean Harold and Maude?

- Yes, oh my God, that film.

I just remember thinking to myself,

why is this guy taking me to see this.

- Okay, stop talking please.

- No, I mean it was just, it was so sad,

and weird and pretentious.

- I am holding a knife here.

- And then the Cat Stephens music.

- Seriously, stop.

Harold and Maude is my favorite movie of all time.

Are you kidding?

You'd better be kidding, are you kidding?

- Yeah, I'm kidding.

(laughs)

- I mean, you don't really feel that way

about that movie do you?

- No but I did not understand that movie for the life of me.

- Well that night you told me you loved it.

- I lied.

- Why?

- Because I wanted to impress you.

Which is why I went back the next week,

and I saw it again.

- You did not.

- Yeah, I did.

I wanted to figure out why you liked it so much.

I thought it was gonna help me understand you better.

- Okay you can stay.

(laughing)

- You know the interesting thing about Harold and Maude?

It's always different.

You know when I was in my 20's,

I identified with Harold, all this angst and depression

and self involvement, and now as I've gotten older,

I kind of feel a little bit more like Maude.

Isn't that crazy how a movie changes.

- Actually the movie stays the same.

- True, I guess we're the ones who change.

- We don't actually change that much, do we?

- Well, I mean, you have, you definitely have.

- So how have I changed?

- I guess I always imagined you,

in your paint spattered boots, with your pallet

and your brushes, standing behind an isle.

I just never imagined you,

- What?

- I always thought that you were gonna be an artist.

- Well I am an artist.

- You're a graphic designer.

- A graphic designer is an artist.

It's just one who can pay the bills.

- Okay, no, no, that's not what I mean.

- I like my work.

- That's good.

- Or I did until about a minute ago.

- Okay, you were the one who was just complaining about the

two heads in the sky, that's all I'm saying.

- Yeah, well it beats living in a studio apartment

with a bathtub in the kitchen.

- But I liked that apartment.

- Yeah, well you didn't have to live in it.

- Okay, I didn't mean to, the most important thing

is that you're happy.

- So, why New Orleans, did you go there for work?

- Oh no, I'm not really working right now.

- Wow, must be nice.

- It's actually amazing.

- How'd you manage that?

- I have money.

- Must be a lot.

- It's enough.

- I always imagined you in a suit and tie,

working in some high rise somewhere.

- Oh yeah, I did that, until

all I could think about was jumping.

- Okay, well, what I want to know is

why you were so hard to find.

- What does that mean?

- On the internet.

- See I don't know what's more strange,

the fact that I'm not on the internet,

or the fact that everybody is so freaked out that I'm not.

- Oh no, I'm not freaked out,

I'm just curious how it's possible.

- Well, I blame you.

- Me?

- Yeah, you were always going off on these

little Marxist rants.

- Democratic socialist.

- Whatever the fuck you were.

It was this freakish paranoia marching in the streets

about the government spying on people.

- That is not why we were marching.

- This vast right wing conspiracy.

- That is true, it exists.

- Well, you were the reason for my faint cyber footprint.

- It's not faint, it's invisible, I mean you are nowhere.

No photos, no job history, I mean

you're not even on Linkedin, which no one

wants to be on anyway, but somehow everyone ends up there.

- Aren't you impressed?

So you looked for me too?

- I probably Googled your name and Campbell, Ohio,

about 1,000 times.

- Wait, Campbell?

- That's where you're from right?

- Yeah, I just can't believe that you remember that.

- I looked in New York and every other major city

and thought maybe if I contacted your family,

they'd tell me where you were.

- Well that's sweet, also useless.

Seeing as how my family would never have given

any personal information, unless you asked in Greek.

- Well it's not sweet, you disappeared.

- I did not disappear.

- From my perspective you did.

No call, no note, nothing.

- Yeah.

- Do you have any idea how long I searched for you Alex?

I called the police, I called hospitals.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, what?

- I called the morgue Alex.

- Well I had no idea.

- 15 years.

- That's a long time.

- Why does it feel like it just happened yesterday?

I gotta piss.

- Fuck.

(instrumental music)

(water splashes)

It's good.

- I got a card when I moved to LA,

told the doctor I had panic attacks.

The minute I said nine 11, he was writing a prescription.

- Nice.

- It wasn't an excuse.

A couple of weeks after the attacks,

I was at work having lunch in the break room,

and reading this magazine about all the people

that were in the planes, that went into the towers.

And there were these two guys,

who were coming back from Russia or something,

with a baby that they had just adopted

and I walked into my office, I shut the door,

and I stood against the wall and

I just started sobbing, I couldn't move.

Now, I knew that I had to call somebody to ask for help,

but I literally couldn't walk across the room,

to pick up the phone on my desk, I was paralyzed.

- What did you do?

- I eventually figured out how to walk.

I picked up the phone on my desk

and I called my best friend.

But i remember thinking, Alex could've been in those towers.

I read all the lists, and I didn't see your name,

so I just assumed that you were okay.

- Really sorry.

- Hey, I got prescription weed out of it.

- No, I mean about disappearing.

- Yeah, why did you?

- Well, I hated New York.

- I didn't know that.

- That's funny, because I talked about it all the time.

- I don't remember that.

- That's because you loved it.

- I did.

(coyotes howling)

- What is that?

- Coyotes.

They're signaling that the pack is all together again,

and everyone's safe.

- So mournful.

- Do you know that coyotes only mate once a year.

- No wonder they sound so sad.

You ever see one up close?

- Coyotes, yeah.

They're all over LA.

The drought forced them out of the hills,

now they just walk around like they own the town,

looking for water.

- Well, water's important.

- You like water?

(water splashes)

(laughing)

- What the fuck?

- That's for disappearing.

- Oh shit.

- Oh shit, I had no idea, I swear, I am so sorry.

- Just take that.

Get me out of here, it's fucking cold.

(screams)

(water splashes)

- Wow that's cold.

- Now we are even.

- Oh, my God, it is so cold in here.

Oh, I hate you so much.

- Mmm, salty.

- It's a salt water pool.

- Wait, why salt water?

- You don't need chlorine if you use salt water.

- You're such a fucking hippie.

Next time please spring for a heated pool.

- We can't afford a heated pool.

- Wait what?

- Do you know how much it costs to heat a pool?

- No, no, wait, wait, who's we?

- What?

- You just said, "We can't afford it". Who's we?

- No I didn't.

- Yeah, you did, who's we?

(clears throat)

Dean... Who the fuck is we?

- We is me and Brian.

- Uh, alright, who's Brian?

- My husband.

- So you're married?

- Yes.

- Does he know that you're here?

- Yes.

- Does he know that I'm here?

- No.

- Okay.

So you guys have some sort of understanding?

- Not exactly.

- So you're cheating.

- No, I mean Brian and I, we're not together.

- You guys are separated?

- Yeah, I mean, he's in Australia, and I'm here.

- Yeah, no, I don't mean geographically.

- It's complicated.

- Okay, I'm about to make things a lot less complicated.

- Alex.

Alex, I can explain.

- Give it your best shot.

- I was going to tell you.

- When?

- As soon as we started emailing, but.

- But what?

- I wanted to, but you didn't ask.

- That's your excuse, I didn't ask if you were married?

- Well, you didn't.

You know, and I didn't ask you either,

for all I know, you could be married too.

- Well I'm not.

- Okay, well now I know.

Look, can we just stop and talk about this?

- Talk about what?

- This, us.

- Yeah, there is no us, there's me and there's you,

and then there's you and uh, what's his name?

- Brian. - Brian.

- Alex, Alex!

Hey, Alex come on, seriously.

Alex, don't do this.

(car door slams)

(engine starts)

(rock music)

(indistinct chatter)

- Would you like a muffin?

- Is that supposed to be me?

- Everyone's a critic huh.

- No, I think you made some improvements, actually.

- I don't think that's possible.

Hey, I really like your gown.

- Oh, this old thing, I only wear it

when I don't care how I look.

- It's a wonderful life?

- You know it?

- Yeah, everyone knows it.

You guys in a choir or something?

- No, I graduated this afternoon.

- What's your major?

- I got my MBA.

- Business.

- Mmm hmm.

- What kind, risky?

- Monkey.

(laughs)

Alex.

- Dean.

- Um, do you want to get out of here?

- Yeah.

- Where do you live?

- Around the corner.

- I'm gonna grab you, get out of my way, I'm coming for you.

(light instrumental music)

- You came back.

- Well that's my favorite shirt.

- Why didn't you come in?

- I was enjoying the stars.

- I'm glad you came back.

- I lied.

- What?

- About why I left New York.

- I met someone.

- I don't understand.

- At the end of the summer, I lied, I met someone else.

- While we were together?

- We weren't exclusive.

- I was.

- You even met him once.

- What?

- In Central Park, I was playing a softball game.

You showed up, you wanted to surprise me.

You were there, he was there, you even shook hands with him.

You thought he was one of my friends,

he thought the same thing.

So I left New York and I moved to Miami.

- To be with him.

- Yeah.

- Why are you telling me this?

- Just trying to be honest.

You asked me why I disappeared, that's why.

Do you still want me to stay?

- Yes.

- Good, you owe me a phone.

(instrumental music)

- Hey.

- [Mel] They love the revision.

- Of course they did, they're idiots.

- And also they're changing the title of the film.

- [Dean] Why?

- I don't know, I guess now they think

nobody will see a movie called Portmanteau.

- Well yeah that's what we said six months ago.

- See how smart we are, wait, how am I even talking

to you, you never have service there.

- I'm in town, what's the new title?

- A bag by the lake.

-Thank you! - Great.

- [Mel] That's a joke, I'm joking, what's wrong?

- Uh, nothing, I gotta go.

- No, you sound weird.

- I'm fine.

- [Mel] Do you want me to come out there?

- No.

- I can be there in two hours.

- No, definitely not.

- [Mel] Okay, I got a date, with a guy that does stand up.

- Yeah, does he do anything else?

- [Mel] He'd better, right, or someone's gonna get hurt.

- Okay, well bye.

Find something?

- Yeah, four bars.

- Yeah, well, we're in town.

(instrumental country music)

- Who should I call?

(phone vibrates)

Pick up.

- I'm driving.

- Well then be careful.

(groans)

- Hello.

- Hey - Hey

Look I'm driving, can I call you back later?

- [Alex] Yeah, no, this is only gonna take a minute.

I know you're super busy being married and everything,

just wanted to give you a little piece of friendly

advice, just in case the opportunity ever arises again.

Um, next time you decide to cheat on your husband,

just make sure you take your ring off pretty early on,

because if the guy's any good in bed,

he's gonna notice the imprint on your finger.

- You knew?

- I suspected.

- Well what was that scene about last night?

- I hoped it wasn't true.

- Why didn't you say something?

- I guess I really didn't want to know.

You do that a lot, take your ring off?

- No never, that's the first time actually.

- Well forgive me if I find that hard to believe.

- I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Brian, I should've.

- Yup.

- I was just afraid that if you knew

I was married, you wouldn't come.

- You would've been right.

- Look, when I got your email, I thought,

how dare he contact me after all these years.

But I had to see you, I don't know why, but--

- I needed to see you too.

Come on.

It's like something out of Doctor Seuss.

- Yeah.

- Why do they call them Joshua trees?

- The Mormons, when they headed west, they saw these

and it reminded them of the prophet Joshua

raising his hands up to God.

Yeah, exactly.

- That's a cool story.

- You know the Mormons, they're full of them.

- So those cigarettes were Brian's?

- Yup.

- You should tell him to stop smoking.

- Well he's not addicted, so I let it go.

- You don't mind?

- No, I hate it, but it's his body.

- Yeah, but he's your husband.

- Was it hard quitting?

- No, I mean I watched my dad dying of lung cancer so.

- I'm sorry.

- It's okay.

I guess it's also easier to run six miles and

smoke a pack a day in your 20's then it is now.

- Yeah, everything's easier in your 20's.

- Well, not for me.

You know I woke up every morning in my 20's,

doubled over in abdominal pain.

Doctor said it was stress.

- What the hell were you so stressed about?

- Everything.

- I didn't know that.

- Nobody did.

You know the most important thing that I learned

in business school, never show weakness.

- Jesus Christ.

- Yeah, the one thing that I needed to do,

the only thing that would've probably helped,

is talking to someone.

You know, if you want your husband to quit smoking,

you need to tell him.

(instrumental country music)

So why Australia?

- He's there for work.

- What does Brian do?

- He's a director.

- For movies?

- Commercials mostly, but yeah, films too.

- Oh, so you moved to LA for him?

- No, most of my clients are in LA.

We moved here for my work.

- I don't know if I could do that,

if I ever married someone, I have to be with them.

- Well, it's not that simple.

When you work in film, you gotta go where the work is

and sometimes that means weeks, or even months apart.

- Are you okay with that?

- Well, I knew what I was getting into when I signed up.

- Well it's not the military.

- You know I think it's good to be alone sometimes,

I think more people should try it.

I like missing someone, you know it feels good to be

on your own, and you know, spend some time with yourself

and be productive and then

come back together again, you know?

- I mean who are you trying to convince?

- No I'm just saying, it's not all bad.

- You should put that on a greeting card.

Can we see the house from here?

- I can't see anything these days.

- Ah, this is amazing.

(instrumental music)

This looks like a movie set.

- It was a movie set.

- Which movies?

- Cisco Kid's the only one I know of.

The bowling alley used to be open.

- You and Brian ever think about having kids?

- No, you?

- Definitely.

- Yeah?

- I think the real sign of adulthood

is having to care about something other than yourself.

You know, putting somebody else's needs above your own.

- Well by that definition, people who never have kids

don't grow up at all.

- Well that's maybe why we have

such a primal desire to procreate.

You know, we're just afraid of taking on

that kind of responsibility.

So, if you have a kid, there's no choice,

you have to step up.

- It's hard to have a kid if you're not settled.

- Well, you seem pretty settled.

- I was talking about you.

(country music)

- [Alex] Talk about the wedding.

- [Dean] It was small, just a few friends at city hall,

and a justice of the peace.

10 minutes and 75 dollars later it was done.

- Oh, how romantic.

- I never understood the appeal of a big wedding.

- I do, I want a huge wedding.

Big flower arrangements, all my family and friends,

big band playing, if I ever love somebody that much,

I want to shout it to the world.

- You ever come close?

- No, well, maybe once.

- You don't mean me?

- You want the truth?

I've been with a lot of guys in my life,

I've even lived with a few of them,

but none of them compared to you.

It's gotten so bad that, no matter where I go in the world,

I find myself looking for you.

- The problem is, you're looking for the guy I used to be.

The guy you remember.

- You're not that different.

- Yesterday you told me I'd changed.

- Yeah, you have changed, I mean we both have,

but not that much.

- Oh, come on, when we first met, you had just got your MBA

and I was an artist.

- So you admit it.

- Okay, um yes, I admit it, I'm not an artist anymore, okay.

- Whatever happened to that guy?

- He um, he got scared.

- Of what?

- Not being good enough.

- So he left New York?

- Uh huh, I got comfortable, and stopped listening to NPR.

- Maybe that's why I'm here.

- What, to get me to start listening to NPR again?

- No, to make you uncomfortable, hi.

- Another round?

- Um, you know what, just the check I think.

- Okay cool, I'll be right back.

Can I just say, I think you two are adorable.

Me and Keith, the bartender have been taking bets

on how long we think you two have been together.

- Oh, um, 15 years.

- Wow, it shows, I think you two have talked more today

than me and my boyfriend have all year.

I'll be right back with that check.

(laughing)

- Whoa, what is this place?

- Yeah it's great isn't it?

- Yeah, totally, look at this roof line.

- Yeah, it was abandoned years ago,

but some famous movie star or musician used to live here.

I always think about what I would do with it,

if it were mine.

- Tell me.

- First it'd be the plumbing.

But I think it'd make a great artist studio, don't you?

- Yeah, do it.

- I wish.

- How much would it cost?

- Are you gonna buy it?

- I don't know, maybe.

What does Brian think?

- Oh, he wouldn't like it, where I see a blank canvass,

he sees a money pit.

- Well has he seen it?

- I'm not sure.

- You haven't shown him?

- No.

- Oh, you have a lot of secrets.

(country music)

Cute.

- Those are my ears.

- Wait, which one's the lazy one.

- This one, my right one.

- It looks normal.

- It only drifts if I'm tired, or if I'm staring

at something for a long time.

- Wait, what do you see now?

- A big blur.

- How about now?

- A bigger blur.

(laughing)

- Wait, if you didn't know it was me, could you tell?

- Probably?

- Is it really that bad?

- My right eye is a little better when I wear glasses,

but yeah I'm basically blind in that eye.

- Oh, God, that sucks.

- No, what really sucks is I could've probably corrected it

if I had just done the exercises when I was a kid.

I had to sit in a dark room, with my good eye covered,

and with my lazy eye, I had to look through a straw

at a blinking yellow light.

- That sounds super fun.

- I had to wear an eye patch.

- Eye patches are kind of cool.

- Not when you're six.

- Wait, so it didn't work?

- No, I didn't work.

I didn't want to do it.

It was so miserable sitting in a dark room,

wearing the eye patch.

- Your parents didn't make you?

- No, they wanted a happy boy.

It's funny though, sometimes I think

if I had just done what I was supposed to,

I'd see the whole world differently.

- I have an idea, we should get you an eye patch.

- I could change my name to Rocco.

- Rocco.

- Rocco.

- What do you think?

- I'll consider it.

I can feel it.

- What?

- My wedding band.

- Well that's telling.

- I'm not being metaphorical, I mean, I can feel it

on my finger, like it's there.

- I used to wear this visor, when I'd play tennis,

and one time I took it off and I could still feel it there

on my forehead and it started to just drive me crazy.

So I went to go get my hair cut,

and I told the guy, can you just cut this God damn visor

off my head please.

So he cuts my hair a little bit, and he says,

well, is it still there?

Yeah, still there, so he cuts a little bit more,

and a little bit more and eventually he just shaves my head.

- Did that work?

- No, I finally learned to just live with it,

until one day I realized it was gone.

- Well I can't cut off my finger.

- Do you want me to do it for you?

- You know I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about it.

- Okay, so what's stopping you?

- It would hurt.

- And then it would feel better.

- Maybe, I just want to feel like this all the time.

- You know we can, I mean if we want to.

- Wanting isn't the issue, come on, this isn't sustainable.

- Yeah, of course it is.

- What's the longest relationship you've ever had?

- Um, well, that's not the point.

- What is the point if we're talking about commitment?

- Well no, I'm not talking about commitment,

I'm talking about feeling young,

and sexy and alive, I'm talking about passion.

I mean do you feel that with Brian?

- Well yeah, yes, I do.

I do, I did, I mean, yeah, sometimes.

- Jesus Christ.

- No, of course I do.

- Well, do you love him?

- Brian is the kindest person I've ever met.

He's so smart, he's so funny,

he's incredibly generous and patient.

- Yeah, but do you love him?

- Yes, I do.

You said the mark of adulthood is someone

who cares about something more than themselves,

well that's Brian.

You know I could probably tell him about you,

and this whole weekend, and he would be the one,

trying to make me feel better,

trying to make me feel less guilty.

I'm sure he'd be, he'd be mad.

But then when he'd calm down, he'd just want to try

to understand why I felt the need

to do this in the first place.

- So why am I here?

- What?

- I mean why am I here Dean?

- I thought you quit?

- Brian won't mind will he?

You know there's a dead mouse floating in your pool.

- Oh shit, they keep falling in.

- Well maybe there jumping.

- Mice don't commit suicide.

- Uh, why did you just do that?

- What was I supposed to do?

- I don't know, bury it.

- It's a mouse.

What just happened?

- What do you want Dean?

- What do I want?

- Yeah, it's a simple question, what do you want?

- That is not a simple question.

- Bullshit.

- Okay, if it's so simple, then why don't you answer it,

what do you want?

- You.

- Me?

- What, after only two days?

- It hasn't been two days, it's been 15 years.

We've been searching for each other

for 15 fucking years, and I know you.

- But you don't know me.

You don't know what I need.

- Okay, then tell me.

- What do you want me to say,

that I'm gonna leave my marriage, then what?

You and I run away together?

- Yeah, or something.

We give this a shot, that's what I want.

- So tell me, what do you want?

- So many things.

I want my work to mean something.

I want to run a marathon some day.

I want to set aside more time for painting.

I want you.

I want my marriage to work.

Sometimes I just want to fucking be by myself.

More than anything, right now I just want to be back in bed.

Can we do that...

Please?

- Yeah, okay.

(light instrumental music)

Okay.

- I'll get the lights.

(coyotes howling)

(cars horns)

- Stop it.

- No.

- You didn't earn that.

- Oh, it makes me feel so smart.

- We use the same toothpaste.

- Oh, well help yourself.

- Yeah, I did.

- Let me see.

- Okay, I have to tell you something.

- Okay, I'm not scared.

- Yeah, I can tell.

- What is it?

- Um, I don't remember your name.

- What?

- I'm so sorry.

- You just had my dick in your mouth.

- I know, I think I'm just still drunk or something.

- I can't believe this.

- Oh, come on asshole, I mean so wait,

what is my name then?

- Alexander Coffina.

- Eww, Alexander.

- Yeah.

- Okay first of all, I haven't introduced myself as

Alexander to anyone, no matter how cute they are,

and you're pretty cute.

- Thank you.

- Secondly, I never told you my last name.

- Okay I uh, I peaked at your drivers license

when you were in the bathroom.

- My credit cards still better be there, you jerk.

- That is not a flattering picture of you.

- You're awful, that's so mean.

- It's not.

- Okay, but what is it?

- What is what?

- Your name.

- I'll give you a hint.

- I'll give you a hint.

- It rhymes with mean.

- Queen.

- Exactly.

- Wait, wait, no, let me think.

- There's only one.

- Peen?

- Ha ha.

- Dean, oh, like James Dean, oh.

- He was gay.

- Oh come on.

- He was.

- Why do gay guys always do that about other guys.

- He was bi.

- Whatever.

- He admitted it.

- Who cares, he's dead.

- I'm bi.

- No, you're not.

- I am.

- Okay, how many women have you slept with?

- Why does that matter?

- I would like a number please.

- Five.

- And that makes you bi?

- If I say it does.

- I think I always knew I was always into guys.

- How would you know if you've never slept with a woman?

- I just knew.

- Absolutely.

- I was certain that I didn't need a woman

to help me figure that out.

- Certainty is the death of creativity.

- What?

- If you're certain, that means you're closed out to

all the other possibilities out there.

- Or maybe, it is the realization that

not all things are possible.

- Okay, what's the difference between a gay

guy and a straight guy?

- I don't know.

- Six beers.

- Ugh, that's funny, wait are you a comedian?

- No, I'm an artist.

- Oh, yeah, wait, what do you really do?

- When I was a kid, I used to tell my family

that I wanted to be an actor, an author, or an artist.

And my dad would say, that's great,

but how are you going to make a living?

- I have such a good idea,

okay how about we get married and

I support you with my high paying wall street job.

- Could you imagine?

- Yeah, I can actually.

- I like you. Is it okay if I say that?

- I like you too.

- Shit, what time is it?

- Who cares?

- Oh, it's eight o'clock.

It's time for morning edition.

- What is that?

- NPR.

- What's NPR?

- National Public Radio.

- What is that?

- Oh, it's great, you're gonna love it, just listen.

Alex?

- [Voiceover] Dean sorry to take off without saying goodbye,

I guess some habits are hard to break.

I hope you get that house someday, you deserve it, Alex.

(phone vibrates)

- Brian, hey honey.

No, I'm still in the desert, I can't believe I'm getting

signal right now.

How are things going out there?

Ah, typical, you should fire him.

Okay no, don't fire him.

Brian, Brian, honey...

Look, I need to say something.

I think we should be together more.

I just really want us to see each other more, okay?

No, we can talk about it when you get home.

I love you too.

And we have to do something about these mice.

(instrumental country music)