Original subtitles

[barking]

[Jacqueline] There is a lot to be said for growing old.

Offhand, I can't think of one good thing.

And as time wears on, the old organs wear out.

♪ We shall come rejoicing, bringing... ♪

[organ playing off-key]

Oops.

[Jacqueline] So, it was decided that we'd all keep

an eye out for a likely organ transplant.

Fortunately, Sister Bertrille had a bird's-eye view.

And now, item 112 in your catalog.

This slightly used organ dating back to 1898,

played only on Sundays by a little old lady in San Juan.

Sister, I see you are interested in this priceless instrument.

Would you care to start the bidding?

Well, I'll listen for a while, thank you.

Oh, very well.

We will start the bidding at $500.

Do I hear $500? $500.

$500?

I'm listening. Keep talking.

It's getting very late, ladies and gentlemen.

Tell you what I'm going to do.

I will entertain a bid of $400.

I'm afraid that's too much entertainment for me.

The man who says the church

has no sense of humor will have to answer to me.

Do I hear $300?

$200? $100?

Sister, are you interested in this or not?

Not. But I will be as soon as you come to a fair price.

What would you consider a fair price?

Uh, well, how does $24.14

and a Saint Christopher medal grab you?

Sister, before I sell it for that, I will give it away.

Oh, thank you, senor.

That's more than a fair price.

What?

Your charity will be remembered

in the prayers of the Convent San Tanco

and recorded in the files of the income tax department.

No.

Manuel, I'm sorry, but no.

Felicia will be great in your supper show.

Have I ever lied to you? Yes.

Your last protege emptied my club after the first number.

Then you must give me a chance to redeem myself.

[phone ringing]

One little audition. How long will it take? No!

I mean, yes?

Carlos, excuse me. Uh, this is Sister Bertrille.

I just wanted to know if...

Oh, yes, Sister Bertrille, I would be delighted to.

Well, I haven't asked you anything yet.

Well, you can give me all the details when I get there.

Well, don't you want to know where I am?

Oh, yes, of course.

Yeah.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Fine.

I'll be right over.

Oh, Carlos, one more thing.

Do you know where you could lay your hands

on a heavy-duty trailer?

Of course, naturally. Immediately. Bye-bye.

Where are you going? What about the audition?

I'm sorry. That was an emergency.

We have to audition our step-niece by marriage

at a future date.

Carlos. At a future date.

And don't call me, I'll call you.

Hello.

SeñorRamirez?

Are you ready for me? Yes. I mean, no.

I mean I wasn't, but I am.

I'm so delighted, and surprised.

Any stepdaughter of Great-Uncle Bernardo

is like a stepdaughter of one of the family to us.

Felicia has an ample repertoire.

Yes, I can see that.

Unfortunately, I promised to help

one of the Sisters at the Convent.

She remembers me in her prayers.

And in this business,

I can use all the help I can get.

So, excuse me, but I must run.

And I spent the whole morning warming up.

Oh, wait.

I promise I will be back before you cool off.

I'm sorry, Carlos.

Who knew that a pipe organ has to fly a flag while in motion?

I guess you can deduct the tie and the--

and the ticket as a charitable contribution.

Now, what about the time away from my business?

You didn't have to rush over here so quickly.

I mean, there wasn't any hurry.

I want to surprise the Reverend Mother,

but she won't be back until this evening.

Now she tells me.

Did I take you away from something important?

Naturally. That's one of your great talents

to call me at the right place at the wrong time.

I'm sorry, Carlos, but it won't take

very much time to set up the organ.

Oh, it won't take any time at all

because I am not going to do it.

Well, this is it.

It sure is. What is it?

It looks just like a tinkle toy. Tinkertoy.

You've been spending too much time with Sister Sixto.

[clanging]

[exclaiming] "For whom the bell tolls."

Well, I'll just leave you experts alone.

I've never been very good at jigsaw puzzles.

These are the last pieces. Now, if you'll excuse me...

Yes. Well, you've done too much already, Carlos.

Thank you so much.

No hay de que. Yes.

Now, if I had a little more time,

I would be delighted to try to...

Oh, well, don't feel too badly about running out on us.

I'm not running out!

My cousin was waiting for me all morning

to be auditioned. Well, go audition her, yes.

Thank you for the suggestion.

Now, we'll get along just fine, won't we, Sister Ana?

Oh, sure.

Besides, you'd have trouble understanding the instructions.

They're Greek to me,

and if we can't understand it...

[chattering] [Carlos] Give me that.

Of course they are Greek to you.

They're in German.

Oh, is that what it is?

Gosh, gesundheit and dankeschonis my limit.

How about you, Sister Ana, do you know any German?

I know a SeñorSchaffimeister in San Juan.

Oh, Sister Bertrille, why do you have to be so obvious?

You know perfectly well I speak German.

Do you?

Doesn't seem to go. No, it wouldn't go.

Threads the other way.

Threads? What are threads?

Give me that.

Oh, SeñorRamirez, you are so clever.

Yes, isn't he?

Felicia, would you be patient?

I'm going to try to turn this junk into an organ.

Dankeschon,Carlos.

When it comes to rebuilding old German organs,

you've really got that good old South American know-how.

Yeah, if I had such a know-how,

how come I don't know how to keep you

from conning me all the time?

Just think of all the pleasure you got out of helping us.

Yeah, I think of the pleasure I didn't get

from auditioning my cousin.

Okay, auf Wiedersehen.

[Reverend Mother] Sister Bertrille?

Sister Bertrille, the Sisters tell me

that you have a surprise for me.

Yes. It's something we've needed very badly

ever since our old one broke down

when you were away.

Well, that could be anything

from our plumbing to our station wagon.

What do you think, Reverend Mother?

I think it's very...

It's--It's very...

Don't you think so, Sister Jacqueline?

You took the words right out of my mouth.

Let me put it in another way.

[stuttering] It's... It is very...

Very old.

Yes, you noticed.

It's practically an antique,

but I got it at a terrific bargain.

How terrific, Sister Bertrille?

$10.

You paid $10 for it?

No. Actually, the auctioneer paid me $10 to cart it away.

I could've held out for $20,

but I didn't want to take advantage of him.

[organ wheezing]

[gasping]

What... What, what was that?

Well, he's kind of been wheezing off and on

ever since we assembled him.

Change in atmosphere must have affected his bellows.

Sounds to me like he's got a cold.

Well, do you think there is a cure?

We could cover him with a warm blanket at night.

I think once he's been here a while, he'll adjust.

How about knocking out a tune for us, Crazy Fingers?

Crazy Fingers?

Sister Jacqueline?

Oh, that was a nickname I had when I was younger.

I was intermission organist at a roller rink.

Let's see if the old Blue Danube

is still flowing through my veins.

You have to pump it.

I did, but it's like pedaling a bicycle uphill.

How about trying a bicycle built for two?

[panting]

[organ wheezing]

Sisters, please stop.

I--I--I do believe you're hurting it.

Okay, Sister Jacqueline, hit your chord...

I guess it still has a few bugs in it.

Yes, among other things.

[organ playing]

[Jacqueline] Sister Bertrille felt that all the old instrument needed

was a little breaking in. So she manned the pump

while I experimented with the different stops.

Translated from the original German, of course.

[speaking German]

[speaking German]

The organ could produce a remarkable variety of sounds.

[organ playing]

We got a flute.

Drums.

A bugle.

And the sound of a young girl groaning.

[groaning]

I can't take it anymore.

I feel like a six-day bike rider on the seventh day.

Oh.

[groaning]

What's the matter, Sister Bertrille?

It's Ziggy.

He's turning out to be a real pain in the legs.

Ziggy? Who is Ziggy?

It's short for Siegfried Krumholtz, the organ.

That's the maker's name.

It's signed in the lower right-hand corner,

like a work of art.

Except he's more work than art.

You know, if you ask me, you're gonna be broken down

long before Ziggy is broken in.

I only wish there was some way to automate him.

[all exclaiming]

Stop the papers!

Turn it off!

Oh, I'm sorry!

It's breathing out instead of in!

Get those papers! It's six months' work!

Now I know why nature hates a vacuum.

[Bertrille] I got it! I got it!

It came to me at 1,000 feet. What?

The answer to our problem. What?

How to modernize Ziggy.

We'll electrify him. What?

Sister Bertrille, if you take the hose off,

the wind will have no place to go.

Oh, yes, it will.

Sister, when Sister Bertrille touched down from her flight,

did you happen to notice if she made

a one-point landing on her head?

Well, it may seem a little bit flaky, but the hose just fits,

and all this organ needs is a lot of air.

Okay, help me push it back.

Right. Plug her in.

[vacuum cleaner humming]

[organ playing]

"Victory through air power."

What's going on, Sisters?

We have electrocuted Ziggy.

Apparently, Ziggy is not quite housebroken.

[Jacqueline] Reverend Mother gave us a period of grace to tame Ziggy.

So, we experimented with different power settings,

pedal combinations, assorted stops and chord changes,

trying to isolate the gremlin.

[whistling]

Finally, on our second round of glasses,

we found the supersonic spoiler.

C above high C.

Yes.

All we have to do is avoid that one little note,

and Ziggy is safe enough for any child to play.

[organ playing]

No, no, Sisters, you are not playing the right note.

Oh, well, Reverend Mother, in this case,

the right note is the wrong note on purpose.

No wonder you lost your position at the roller rink.

Sister Jacqueline, allow me.

Oh, Reverend Mother, now, let me explain this. You see...

There is nothing to explain, Sister Bertrille.

I...

No. What you need is an ear for music.

Wait, wait... Not that there's any... Wait.

Oops.

How's this for an idea, Reverend Mother?

We can fix Ziggy so no one can hit his destruct button.

Just a simple little old bobby pin

under his high C would disarm him completely, see?

And no one would ever...

Is that a definite no or a...

It's a definite no.

And my recommendation is that you find someone

who will take Ziggy to the nearest junkyard.

But how can you know if I have talent?

All we have done for the past two days

is wine and dine and talk.

You are right.

I think that the time for talk is drawing to a close.

Yes, Carlos.

Now is the time.

Oh, is it?

I can wait no longer.

You can't?

You are going to listen to me sing right now.

What? How about the Indian Love Call?

Oh, the Indian Love... The Bell Songfrom Lakme?

Well, the Bell... [phone ringing]

Oh, that must be Uncle Manuel.

He wants to be here for the audition.

Oh, he does, huh? Hello? Manuel?

Carlos? Am I interrupting you?

Oh, yes. Thank you.

Huh?

I was just about to listen to the...

The Bell Songfrom Lakme.

Bell Songfrom Lakme or something.

Well, that doesn't sound like your bag.

I will be right up to the Convent

and take the problem off your hands.

Are you sure? You have my word.

And my word is my word.

There's no hurry. I...

I'll be there in 15 minutes. Bye-bye.

I'm sorry, but the audition will have to wait.

An emergency.

Every time I want to sing for you,

you find an excuse to go somewhere.

What do you want me to do?

If the Convent calls me, I have to answer.

Why?

I am a servant of the Church.

A servant?

Let's call it a day worker, okay?

Bye.

That was fast.

[sighing] Such a beautiful girl.

But I couldn't bear to spoil the illusion

by listening to her sing.

Huh? Oh, nothing, nothing.

Did you bring the trailer? The trailer? For what?

The organ. What organ?

Carlos, are you sure it was you I called when I called?

Ah-ha!

Miss Fierro, what a surprise. This is Sister Bertrille.

Hello. Hello.

Sister Bertrille, Miss Fierro is one

of the most gifted of my distant relatives.

Gifted? And how do you know I am gifted

if you have never heard me sing?

Every time I have to audition for him, you call him.

What do you have against me, Sister? Nothing.

Oh, Carlos, why don't you audition her?

Well, I will, I will, as soon as I take care of...

I take care of, whatever it is I have to take care of.

The organ. The organ!

Oh, the organ.

Every time they have a problem with the organ, they call me.

And you are knowledgeable about the instrument?

Oh, yes.

I'd say he knows more about this organ

than any other man in the Convent.

You enjoy organ music?

It is a passion with me.

Good.

What are you doing?

I studied the organ for 10 years.

Uh, hold it a sec.

Hang on while I whip up some electricity.

[humming]

Okay, hit it.

♪ The look of love ♪

♪ is in your eyes ♪

♪ A look your smile ♪

♪ can't disguise ♪

♪ The look of love ♪

♪ is saying so much more ♪

♪ than words could ever say ♪

♪ And what my heart has heard ♪

♪ Well, it takes my breath away ♪

♪ I can hardly wait to hold you ♪

♪ Feel my arms around you ♪

♪ How long have I waited ♪

♪ Oh, waited just to love you ♪

♪ Now that I have found you ♪

♪ Please don't ever go ♪

♪ I love you so ♪

♪ Don't ever go ♪

[exclaiming] Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

That's fantastic. She can play, too.

How much for the organ? Money is no object.

Well, it is no object.

For a change, the Convent would like

to donate something to a worthy philanthropist.

"And I've had your old monstrosity

"properly electrified,

"and feel quite guilty for stealing it from you.

"Tonight, Felicia opens at the Casino Carlos A Go Go.

"Wish us luck and please accept

"this replacement organ in good health.

"Incidentally, I, Carlos Ramirez,

"organ expert first class,

"discovered the reason for the organ malfunction.

"One of the keys was jammed. See enclosed."

Nothing enclosed, but this old bobby pin.

He pulled the pin.

Oh, Felicia's going to be playing a live hand grenade

at her opening night.

And all that glass in Carlos' casino.

What will we do if she hits that high note? Oh.

Repeat after me. Our Father...

[Jacqueline] Carlos' line was busy,

so Sister Bertrille decided to deliver

her urgent message airmail special.

[Felicia] ♪ Now that I have found you ♪

♪ Please don't ever go ♪

Hey, sorry, Sister, I have to see your ID card.

Can't I go in for just one little minute?

Look, Sister, some of my best friends are nuns,

but I am new at this job.

But I got to see your ID card.

Well, how much can I drink in one little minute?

It's very urgent.

Okay, okay. Go in, Sister.

[glass shattering]

Well, what was that?

Well, on second thought, I wouldn't want you

to get into any trouble.

I'll just be on my way.

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