Original subtitles

[barking]

[Jacqueline] There are many treasures

in and around the Convent San Tanco,

some of it is buried treasure,

but this one was delivered by air freight.

It was from the estate of Martha Torrens,

deceased aunt of Sister Bertrille.

I stood beside the bereaved

as she opened her treasure chest.

She was 87 when she passed on.

The cutest little old lady you ever saw.

[Jacqueline] A lace negligee?

But she thought young.

[Jacqueline] The trunk was full of all kinds of goodies,

a fearless boa, a blond wig

and of all things...

Oh, what a lovely candelabra.

This is a menorah, Sister Ana.

The--The Jews light it on Hanukkah.

I thought your aunt was Catholic. Oh, she was.

I think she received that for something she did

during Brotherhood Week.

It'll look just wonderful in our chapel, Reverend Mother.

Well, I think it might feel more at home in a synagogue.

I guess you're right. Do you have a favorite synagogue?

Well, how about the only synagogue in San Tanco?

Good thinking.

Rabbi Mendez, you've got yourself a menorah.

[birds chirping]

Oh, a parachute!

A parasol, Sister, and they call them umbrellas now.

Oh, maybe she was right the first time.

I can use it as a parachute.

It would save wear and tear on the reentry system.

[all exclaiming]

Sister?

[coughing]

What's Mary Poppins got that I haven't got?

So if you like it, Rabbi Mendez, it's yours

and use it in good health.

Oh, this is a menorah of menorahs, Sister Bertrille,

and I accept it with thanks and with gratitude.

And with the promise that one day it will grace

the new Temple Beth Sholom.

Oh. It's nothing.

I mean, I'm glad you like it.

When are you moving?

The minute we deposit $150,000 in the bank,

we break ground.

How much have you raised so far?

$150.

But considering that

my congregation is so small, that's not so bad.

Fortunately, the Good Lord is patient.

But unfortunately my congregation is not.

And can I blame them?

It's a bit difficult to conduct the Friday-night services

when my synagogue is surrounded by a butcher

who is always haggling on one side

and John Wayne is shooting the Indians on the other side.

It's a miracle if the Good Lord knows who to listen to.

[Alfredo speaking Spanish]

[speaking Spanish]

Quiet. Please.

When we raise our voices in the synagogue,

is to praise God, not to argue like animals.

Hello, Alfredo. Sister Bertrille.

Imagine seeing you here.

You know Alfredo Aquillar?Oh, yes.

He's a great friend of the Convent's.

He's donated tons of second-hand clothes for our orphanage.

When the customer does not pick up the dry cleaning

after six months, out it goes.

Oh, permit me, Sister Bertrille,

to introduce my fiancee, Sophia Baldazon.

How do you do? Nice to meet you.

Sophia is the bookkeeper for Carlos Ramirez.

Oh, yes. I thought you looked familiar.

Well, congratulations, you two.

How long have you been engaged?

Eight years and it will be another eight...

[Sophia speaking Spanish]

[speaking Spanish]

[speaking Spanish]

Please, go into my study and wait.

I'll be with you in a minute.

Very nice to have meet you. Very nice to have met you, too.

Excuse us, Sister. Yes, right. See you.

Sister, I must apologize for their rudeness and...

Oh. Don't worry about it.

I've been through pre-marriage jitters myself.

With relatives.

I'm so tickled that Alfredo's getting married.

I--I can't believe that he's really going through with it.

With his little problem. Oh, you mean the gambling?

Yes. He's still gambling

but thank God, he's exchanging the dice for a woman.

Now at least he has a chance of winning.

If they can only agree on the wedding plans.

Well, what's the disagreement?

Sister Bertrille, look at my synagogue. Hmm?

Look. Look around you. What do you see?

Well, it might be small in square feet,

but it's big in tradition.

Tradition. Tradition doesn't hold 100 friends and relatives.

So, Sophia wants to get married in a union hall

and Alfredo wants to get married in a Chinese restaurant.

Wow. That's crummy. I mean, why don't you tell them

that marriage is a sacred union between a man and a woman

and it's just not important where you get married?

No, that's wrong.

No, Sister Bertrille, you were right the first time.

It's not important.

And at least the Chinese restaurant has a piano.

A Jewish wedding here in the convent?

Yes. Outside in the garden.

Oh, it would be really lovely

and after all Alfredo's done for us.

At least it wouldn't smell of egg rolls.

A Jewish wedding in a convent?

Sure.

There's nothing denominational about grass or hedges.

And the Reverend Mother's perfectly agreeable.

I don't know what to say.

I don't know what to say.

A Jewish wedding at a convent?

But there is nothing in the Old Testament that forbids it.

I don't think there's anything in the New Testament either.

I guess that is an improvement over a Chinese restaurant.

Then we're all agreed?

So be it.

[birds chirping]

With your permission

we will put the chuppahright here.

The "chuppah"?

A chuppah. That's a canopy.

It's a tradition for the Jews to be married under a canopy.

Oh. How sweet. And very practical in case it rains.

Now the chairs, of course,

we must have them face the chuppah.

Um...

Yes. Yes.

Two groups of chairs, 50-50.

Oh, I--I don't think we have quite that many chairs, Rabbi.

The chairs are coming from Roberto's Rentals.

Now, we put the tables for the food right over there.

Rabbi, I don't know much about chuppahs,

but food is my specialty.

What shall I cook? It's not necessary to cook.

But after all Alfredo has done for us,

it's the least we can do.

I make a beautiful baked ham.

Boy, have you got the wrong wedding.

Well, that's very sweet,

but Roberto's Rentals is providing the food.

You are renting the food, Rabbi? No.

It's catering, Sister. And such delicacies.

Mmm.

We are starting off with pescado relleno de caballo.

That's gefilte fish with horseradish.

Naturally you are all invited.

Oh, really, Rabbi, with so many guests...

Now, now, Reverend Mother.

In a Jewish wedding is enough food for two Jewish weddings.

[Jacqueline] A wedding feast can be catered.

Chairs can be rented. Ushers can be hired.

But it is against God and nature

to deprive women of doing something.

So Rabbi Mendez was finally persuaded

to allow us to contribute the flowers,

decorations and otherwise.

Sister Bertrille contributed the otherwise.

Am I high enough? Perfect.

Bombs away!

How does it look so far?

It looks great! Come down!

Oh!

It's still kind of wobbly.

You have all day to practice beforethe wedding tomorrow.

Yeah.

The wedding is off.

Off?

Off like postponed or off like... Off.

Off like finished for good.

[speaking Spanish]

I call you because I am too embarrassed

to face the Reverend Mother.

Can you tell me what happened?

If you know Alfredo, you know what happened.

He slipped?

Slipped, skipped. What's the difference?

He landed at the dice table.

How much this time?

The honeymoon money, $300.

Oh, no. Where?

Where else? Casino Carlos.

Ten years I wait for a wedding...

[speaking Spanish]

Rabbi, have you told anyone else about this?

Only God, but so far he has given me no answer.

Well, maybe I've got one.

Out of the mouths of babes. Tell me, huh?

Well, I can't tell you right now.

Not until I'm absolutely positive.

But could you hold off

spreading around the bad news till I come back?

No!

This is a gambling casino, not the office of welfare.

But, Carlos, it's his honeymoon money.

I don't care.

Sister, if I feel sorry for everybody that loses,

I am out of business.

But it's your bookkeeper's fiance.

Ex-bookkeeper. She quit to have a nervous breakdown.

And you're not gonna even help her?

I don't have a medical license. You have a heart.

Yeah.

And before you give it a coronary,

here, I'll give you the $300.

Oh, thank you, Carlos, but I don't want it.

[speaking Spanish]

I mean, I mean, Alfredo wouldn't accept it.

He's got too much pride.

Then why are you wasting my time?

Well, what I was thinking is,

perhaps you could manage to let him win it back.

What?I imagine you could do it easily.

I can't control the roll of the dice.

Oh, can't you now?

Now what is that supposed to mean?

It seems to me I read an article once about a thing called

loaded dice.

Bite your tongue. You haven't got any?

Sister, I run a legitimate, government-licensed casino.

Do you know what happened to the crook that came here a year ago

and--and used these loaded dice?

[exclaiming]

So you do have a pair.

How fantastically crooked.

I just dropped in to say hello

and tell you about the dream I had last night.

Please, Sister, I am not in the mood for dreams.

Well, let me see if I can remember it now.

Uh, you were standing in a big room with lots of people.

And you were wearing a tuxedo.

And Sophia was by my side in a wedding dress,

and I am not a child, Sister.

Please, forget it.

Who said anything about a wedding?

Let me see, you were standing in this big room

and you were standing in front of a long table.

Long green table.

A long green felt table. And you were very happy.

Go on.

Let me see, it gets all mixed up.

Oh, yes. You had something in your hand.

They were-- They were white things with black dots on them.

Dice perhaps?

They might have been.

All I know is, that you took these objects

and you blew on them like this...

And you threw them out

on the long green felt table and you shouted,

"Come on, seven. Papa needs a new pair of shoes,"

whatever that might mean.

Go on. Go on.

Well, anyway, when these little objects

came to a stop after rolling,

the little black dots on the top

were five and two, which adds up to seven.

That is a dream, all right.

Well, I'm not finished yet.

Uh, then every time you picked up

these little objects and you rolled them

again and again and again, they always added up to seven.

Amazing.

You know some of my best hunches come to me in dreams.

No!

Once I dreamt I was piloting a plane

and the next day I bet on a horse called Tri-Pilot

and I made a...

I told you about it once, remember?

You did?

Oh, what's the difference?

This morning I gave Rabbi Mendez my solemn word

I should be struck with lighting if I ever gamble again.

And I won't. Dream or no dream.

Now, what is the moral question before us, Sister?

The moral question before us is,

how can a man's promise,

which he'll probably break in a moment of weakness

sometime in the future, compare to the promise

which he wants to keep to the woman he loves, which he broke?

Yeah. I think what you are trying to say is

there are promises and promises.

Exactly.

In this matter, the Talmud says...

You sure the dice are... Absolutely.

The Talmud says...

And Se�orRamirez is willing to...

Just leave it to Se�orRamirez.

Alfredo, I want to tell you a story from the Talmud

about a peasant who came to the Vilna Rabbi.

The Vilna Rabbi was a very holy and a very wise man.

"Rabbi, help me," said the peasant.

"I have a problem. I met a stranger in a public house

"who invited me to play with him a game of cards.

"And my problem, Rabbi, is this,

"I lost my favorite horse, Tevya.

"My beloved lives in the next village.

"How shall I get to her without my horse?"

So the Rabbi looked at him and he stroked his beard,

and he said one and only one word,

"Walk."

What has that to do with me?

Don't you understand the message?

The Vilna Rabbi is telling us that all of life is a gamble.

But you said... Never mind what I said

and listen to what I am saying.

If you can't ride, you walk.

But if you don't like walking,

look for a stranger who is willing to gamble his horse.

Your dice, Alfredo.

[people chattering]

Come on, dice. Papa needs a new pair of shoes.

I rolled a seven. Seven a winner.

All bets down, please.

Come on, dream, don't turn into a nightmare.

Another seven. [Carlos] Seven a winner.

Well, this is your lucky night, Alfredo.

You might win your $300 back.

More than that if you bet the whole bundle.

I'm still behind from last month.

Another seven!

Quit, you dope, quit.

Saving souls, Sister Bertrille?Trying.

Captain Fomento, what--what brings you here?

I am... Crime.

Crime? Well, there's no crime here.

Not yet. But why wait until the last minute?

Yes. Smart, smart.

You seem to be fascinated with that dice table, Sister.

Well, no, not--not nearly as much as that

as that blackjack table over there.

Yeah. I've been watching the dealer.

Watching. What--What, where?

Don't look now. Don't look now. Look away.

You see, he's--he's been holding his little finger

in a very strange way.

Don't look. Don't look at him.

[shushing]

[whistling]

Now, Sister Bertrille, would you please do me a favor?

And take Alfredo away from that table.

With the money he's winning,

he can take a honeymoon on the French Riviera.

He promised to stop at $300.

[Alfredo laughing]

Another seven!

[man] Keep right on.

Uh, don't you think you ought to quit while you're ahead?

Are you kidding, Sister?

I'm on the hottest roll of my life.

Yes, but what's hot cancool off. I got faith, Sister.

See, I'm smiling, just like you dreamed in your dream.

Yes, but in my dream, I dreamt you only won $300.

You woke up too soon.

Seven!

Sister, you were right.

He was holding his finger in a strange way.

He was? Yes. In a splint.

He broke his finger in a--a soccer match.

Is that right? Yes.

Hello, Se�orFomento. You're doing well I see.

Twelve straight passes, Captain.

Twelve straight... But that's incredible.

Do you know that the-- the record in this casino was,

if I'm... Yes, it was 10 straight passes.

Yes, a seven.

It was established by a man by the name of Marco,

Marco Di Angelo.

Yes. He was underworld character and he used...

Loaded dice! You are under arrest, Alfredo.

Now--Now, wait. Now, wait a minute, Captain Fomento.

There's a very simple explanation.

You see, Alfredo...

Actually it--it was Carlos...

Well, it's a very simple explanation but hard to explain,

so I'll let Se�orRamirez do it.

Carlos, I'm so sorry for what happened,

but it was the only way.

I will not listen to you!

I couldn't stand there and let him arrest Alfredo,

could I?

I don't hear a word you say.

Carlos, I think it's very noble of you to take the rap.

Oh, yeah? My nobility fills me with happiness.

I lost $900 to that fool.

I'm about to lose my casino.

Now I have a prison record. But what does it matter?

Nothing.

Now, Carlos, stop being petulant.

You're getting out on bail.

Oh, no, I'm not. I don't want to be bail out.

I don't want to live in a world in which

such a thing can happen to an innocent bystander!

Carlos, they want you to give the bride away.

Well, she can manage without me.

Sister, as long as I'm on this side of the bars,

and you are on that side of the bars, I feel much safer!

Now, Carlos, cut that out.

Se�orRamirez, you are free to go.

Oh, no, I don't want to be freed!

I want to pay for my crime! Out!

I'm going to have your badge for this.

He's a little upset.

Now you take me back immediately after the wedding.

I'm dropping the charges.

On what grounds?

I had a long talk with Rabbi Mendez.

And he told me a beautiful story that came out of the Talmud.

It seems that this peasant

he lost his horse because of a wager

and because of this, he was made to walk from village to village

till his feet bled.

In final anguish he cried to the Lord up above

for forgiveness.

And the Lord spoke to him and said,

"Okay, okay. Stop your whining.

"I have other problems on my mind."

[sighing]

Let this be a lesson to you.

What does that mean?

How should I know? I'm a policeman,

not a philosopher.

Out! Out!

"Behold, thou art consecrated unto me by this ring,

"according to the laws of Moses and of Israel."

"Behold, thou art consecrated unto me by this ring,

"according to the law of Moses and of Israel."

[Jacqueline] It was a beautiful ceremony.

All eyes were on the Rabbi and the happy couple.

And fortunate for us,

because Sister Bertrille was a little behind schedule.

[speaking hebrew]

[people speaking hebrew]

I now pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

[sisters singing hava nagila]

In Brooklyn we got maybe 1,000 reformed synagogues,

but so reformed, never.

♪♪

It's like a miracle.

Rabbi, do you think perhaps,

it is just an interesting cloud formation?

Don't be so scientific, Reverend Mother.

I believe God had a finger in it.

The Rabbi is so grateful for my humble cooperation

in this situation,

that he said he wished he could make me

an honorary member of the Jewish people.

Oh, how sweet.

I was thinking, if he should,

does that mean that I cannot arrest anyone on

Yom Kippur?

Carlos, I'm so proud of what you did.

With you as a friend, can I do anything else?

Even if I wanted to?

It's just too bad.

What's too bad?

About the honeymoon.

What are you talking about?

He's has the $900 he won from me.

Not all of it.

What happened?

Well, he had to go to San Juan to pick up the bride's present.

And he had to make a phone call when he was there

and the nearest phone was in a casino.

Oh, no!

How much did he lose? Roughly?

Yeah. $900.

Sister, you are not going to get another penny out of me.

Who's asking you for anything? No. Oh.

I was just thinking that if perhaps

you weren't using your yacht this weekend,

there would be a chance that, I don't know how,

but maybe I could borrow your...

Oh, Carlos.

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