Original subtitles

[dog barking]

[Jacqueline] Despite her own remarkable aeronautical abilities,

Sister Bertrille sometimes resorted

to the more orthodox forms of transportation.

I suppose she wanted to see how the other half flew.

Sister Bertrille, what are you doing here?

Well, I just flew in from a seminar in New Orleans.

Oh, you mean the airport gave you permission to use their runway?

No, I took an airplane.

Oh, you took a plane.

[tut-tutting]

What a waste of money.

I'm not equipped with in-flight movies.

Oh.

I take it you're not my welcoming committee.

Oh, no, no. I didn't come here to meet you.

I came to meet a girl.

Oh, well, thanks for the distinction.

[male announcer] Flight number 6

from New York now arriving gate 22.

That's her flight now.

Is she someone special? Very special.

Oh, let me guess.

An heiress? No.

Showgirl? Mmm-mmm.

Model? You are not even warm.

You're slippin', sister.

Carlos, if it's not an heiress,

a showgirl or a model,

you're the one that's slipping.

Oh, Linda!

Linda!

[panting] Sister Bertrille,

oh, I'm sorry I couldn't get here any sooner.

So am I. You just missed a miracle.

Hmm?

[male announcer] Flight number 50 for Miami now boarding.

I want you to meet some friends of mine.

Sister Jacqueline, Sister Bertrille.

This is my adopted niece, Linda Shapiro.

She made me her Uncle.

Hello, Linda.

Hi, Linda. How are you?

Hi. Hi.

Should I curtsey?

Oh, no. The sisters are very Democratic.

Linda's parents had planned a vacation here,

but they had to go to Chicago unexpectedly.

So they sent Linda ahead into my care.

I hope I'm not going to be any trouble, Uncle Carlos.

You, trouble?

Oh, come on, never.

[male announcer] Telephone call for Mr. Carlos Ramirez.

Green courtesy telephone, Mr. Ramirez.

Always the telephone.

Sometimes I wish Alexander Graham Bell had never invented it.

[male announcer] Last call for flight number 7.

Hello.

Yeah, this is Carlos Ramirez.

Yes, Pedro, what is it?

Uh, Linda, I hope you'll come and visit us at the convent.

[Carlos] How can I go to Miami for a meeting?

You know I have a guest to entertain here.

Uh, tell them to postpone it.

Well, since they cannot postpone it,

tell them that I cannot make it.

My place is here with Linda.

Ok, I will lose out on a once-in-a-lifetime-deal.

No, it cannot be helped.

No, Pedro. No! There's no way out.

Carlos.

There is a way out.

Reverend Mother, I'd like you to meet Linda Shapiro.

I'm very pleased to meet you, Linda.

Linda's from New York.

Carlos is her adopted Uncle.

Oh, how nice that she could come all this way to visit with him.

Yes. Carlos had to leave for a business trip

for a few days.

Then who is looking after Linda?

Well, it's very simple, Reverend Mother.

You see, this was a once-in-a-lifetime deal

that Carlos simply couldn't pass up,

and after all the wonderful and unselfish things he's done for us...

I understand, Sister Bertrille.

And now I know who is looking after Linda.

I'm very glad to have you with us.

Thank you.

Linda, how would you like to go outside and look around the convent

while I speak with Sister Bertrille?

Sister Bertrille, I appreciate your thoughtfulness

to Señor Ramirez, but...

Do you think this is wise?

Well, at first Linda was a bit shocked

at the idea of spending a vacation

with a bunch of nuns

'cause she's of a different faith, you know.

But I suggested that she think of herself

as an exchange student.

But what about her mother and father?

Mr. and Mrs. Shapiro.

D-Do they know that she is with us?

No, but there couldn't be any problem

else Carlos wouldn't have let her stay.

Oh, Sister Bertrille,

when are you going to learn to look before you leap?

Reverend Mother, I look.

But you leap anyway.

She's my responsibility.

Now, don't worry about a thing.

I'm worried about Linda, Sister Jacqueline.

She doesn't seem to join in very easily.

[Jacqueline] Well, it's no wonder.

She's supposed to be on her vacation

and now she's thrown into a strange new world.

[children chattering]

But nobody says we can't win her over.

Hi, there.

Hi. Hi.

How come you're not playing with the other kids?

Oh.

Hey, look, there's no reason to be shy.

I mean, meeting people's as easy as jumping rope,

and I never knew a little girl

that didn't know how to jump rope.

Come on, I'll introduce you. It's Ok.

Not your cup of tea, huh?

Well, is there anything else you'd like to do?

Like what?

I don't know.

You see, I've got some duties to do

and I hate to leave you just standing here holding down the cement.

It's all right, sister. I'm fine.

Really.

Are you sure?

Ok.

I'll take your word for it.

But remember now, don't be bashful.

[children shouting]

Hey, I've got an idea.

Why don't you be my assistant?

Assistant what?

Come on. I'll show you.

[clears throat]

[Jacqueline] Sister Bertrille's campaign to win Linda over

began with the words of the old testament:

Let there be light.

[inaudible]

[inaudible]

[baby crying]

Oh.

Thank you.

Hi.

Oh, thank you.

See what I got. One for you.

Oh, look at this.

[chuckles]

Thank you.

Gosh!

You have a lot of friends, Sister Bertrille.

Yes, and you made a lot of friends today, too, Linda.

And you were a big help to me.

Really?

Oh, I didn't do anything.

Oh, yes. You did.

You're the best assistant I ever had.

I guess, it hasn't been very much of a vacation for you though.

But working's sort of fun.

I mean, I never held a real baby before.

Yeah? Just dolls.

They're different, you know?

I know.

But all work and no play

makes us a couple of dull girls.

Hey, do you like Chinese food?

I love it.

Oh, great!

[gong clanging]

♪[Oriental music playing]

[people chattering]

Thank you.

[sighing]

Why do they give us chopsticks?

♪ There's nothing finer than cuisine from China ♪

♪ we love those places with Chinese food ♪

♪ but when we go there, we put on a show there ♪

♪ chopsticks just get us unglued ♪

[all] ♪ why do they give us chopsticks? ♪

♪ What we need is a knife and a fork ♪

♪ we can't get the hang of chopsticks ♪

♪ what good are utensils ♪

♪ that look like 2 pencils ♪

♪ the egg roll starts rolling ♪

♪ and there's no controlling ♪

[Bertrille] ♪ fried rice that seems to be every place ♪

♪ wontons just wander ♪

♪ and wind up down yonder ♪

♪ the food never reaches our face ♪

[all] ♪ why do they give us chopsticks? ♪

♪ What we need is a knife and a fork ♪

♪ we can't get the hang of chopsticks ♪

♪ our appetite's growing, our energy's going ♪

♪ and after some jabbing, some searching and stabbing ♪

♪ we finally harpoon a piece of meat ♪

♪ though we feel hollow, we can't seem to swallow ♪

♪ we're much too tired to eat ♪

[Bertrille sighing]

You know, I could never get the hang of those things, either.

Dig in, kid.

[chuckling] Ok.

Hmm.

[whistling]

♪[humming]

[birds chirping]

Hello, my dear. Hi.

Hi. How are you two doing?

Oh, great. We're gonna have enough flowers

to decorate the whole children's ward at the hospital.

Uh, well, leave a little to decorate the garden.

Oh, yeah.

It looks like we're winning her over.

Oh, good.

Oh. Look, sisters!

[bird chirping]

It's fallen from its nest.

[bird twittering]

What are we gonna do?

Well, why don't we put it in a shoebox

until it's strong enough to fly?

It belongs in its nest with its mother.

There has to be some way to get it back up there.

Oh, no, I don't.

Oh, it's just a little flight.

It'll hardly count at all.

And besides she can't tell anyone.

She's only going to be here for a couple of days.

Yeah, long enough to get me into trouble.

Oh.

Linda,

see I have a very special way

for putting little birds back in their nests.

But you must promise not to tell anyone.

I promise.

Ok.

[bird twittering]

Come here, little bird, come here.

[wind howling]

You can fly!

How do you do it?

Well, it all has to do with aero--

well, it's a long story, Linda.

Sister Bertrille, you're...

You're something special.

Well, let's go get us something to eat

or something.

You wanted to see me, Reverend Mother?

Yes.

Hello, sister. I'm back.

Hi. How was your meeting?

Oh, very successful, thank you.

Uh, how's Linda?

Fine.

Are you sure? Yeah.

There was no trouble?

Well, you have to excuse me

but with Sister Bertrille's past history,

I--I was naturally worried.

Naturally.

Now, where is Linda?

Oh, she's in her room working on a secret project.

Oh.

I have asked Sister Ana to...

Linda?

Please call me Sister Shapiro.

I should have known!

How could I have known?

Believe me, Carlos,

no one was more surprised than I was.

How could I have been persuaded to entrust

that impressionable child to you?

If I remember correctly, there was this once-in-a-lifetime deal.

Look at the mess you got me into.

Uncle Carlos to a mini-nun.

Reverend Mother's explaining to her

and she's very good at that.

Well, I hope so.

For your own sake.

[sighing]

So, you see, Linda, you cannot be a nun

because you're just a little girl.

It's Ok.

This way I'll get a head start.

Child, in order to become a nun,

one needs to live sufficient years

in order to gain some comprehension

of the worldly things

that one then renounces willingly.

I'll give up comic books.

Oh, bless you, child. A truly noble thought.

But I'm afraid that that's not quite enough.

Bubble gum?

Linda, a nun...

You would have to prepare many years

to devote your life to the service of others.

Oh, I want to. The way Sister Bertrille does.

I wanna be just like Sister Bertrille.

Is there anything wrong with that?

[sighing]

The shapiros are very fine people.

They've never been anything but kind to me.

Am I supposed to repay them

by informing them that their daughter is a dropout?

Carlos, about your choice of words...

Sister, I have not yet begun to choose my words.

[door opening]

Señor Ramirez, I tried.

Now, why don't you be a nice girl

and change into your own clothes?

I don't like them anymore.

Then I'll buy you a beautiful new outfit.

No, thanks, Uncle Carlos.

I'm giving up worldly things.

[babbling in Spanish]

Please!

Not in front of us nuns.

Well, I've got another Sister Bertrille

on my hands.

Oh, thank you. I try.

[Linda] Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'll go look after the children.

[sighing]

The shapiros are arriving this afternoon.

What are we going to do?

I've got a suggestion.

[Carlos] I don't want any part of your suggestions.

Only 100% emergency can make me even listen to you again.

Señor Ramirez, would you not say

that the shapiros' arrival constitutes a 100% emergency?

[sighing]

What is your suggestion?

Well, I once took a course in applied psychology

and I've got an idea how Linda might become disenchanted

with the notion of becoming a nun.

Put her on the assignment list.

The convent assignment list.

[sniffling]

Are you feeling sad, Sister Sixto?

Oh, no. Whenever I peel onions,

I cry like a booby.

Baby?

Baby for you, booby for me.

Here. Let me.

Oh, no.

I don't want you to cry.

Please.

You know, Sister Sixto,

I'm so happy here, I never wanna leave.

Never?

Well, maybe for my brother's bar mitzvah.

[sighing]

[birds chirping]

Carlos,

this is a convent.

I thought we were going to get Linda.

Yeah, we are. But I don't understand.

I thought Linda was staying with friends of yours.

Well, the sisters are my friends.

Very dedicated, warm-hearted, well-meaning people.

You'll like them.

Well, I'm sure we will, but where's Linda?

Oh, she's getting dressed. I hope.

Getting dressed?

Well, what I mean is, uh, she's changing her clothes.

I hope.

Carlos, is there something, uh...

[door closing]

Hi, mom. Hi, dad.

Linda, what are you doing?

I'm on the assignment list.

You're on the assignment list?

You have to be.

That's part of the fun of being a nun.

Dear, we know you want to be a nun,

but have you really thought this out?

Remember, last year you wanted to be a policewoman.

And the year before that an actress?

You've thought that out, too.

[Reverend Mother] Linda,

probably next year you will want to be something else.

I'll want to be like Sister Bertrille always.

Linda, your mother and father have planned

such a wonderful vacation for you.

[Mrs. Shapiro] We're going to stay in a big hotel.

And you can call room service and order whatever you want.

And they have a swimming pool and children's play room.

You two enjoy yourselves. I like it here.

[clears throat] Sister Bertrille.

Linda,

it's time to stop playing our little game.

What game?

The game of you being Sister Shapiro.

It's over now.

But I wasn't playing.

I meant it.

And I thought you meant it, too.

I just wanted to make your stay here

a happy one.

Then that's all it was? A game.

[crying] And I thought you really liked me.

Oh, Linda, I do like you.

I don't wanna listen to you anymore.

Here.

I'll change my clothes now.

[sobbing]

She will mend. Children do.

I'm so sorry all of this had to happen.

Well, there's no need to apologize, sister.

I'm sure Linda will benefit from the experience.

Whenever people reach out to each other,

it only makes for better understanding.

That is true, sister.

I think it's time I do little more reaching out.

Excuse me.

[doorknob clicking]

Please go away.

Oh, Linda.

I do like you. Very much.

I can't believe anything you say.

But, Linda, you must know by now

that sisters don't lie.

Sister Bertrille,

all I wanted to do was to be just like you

[sniffling]

And help people.

And have them like me, the way they like you.

I thought you'd be pleased.

Oh, but I am pleased.

Why, it's the nicest compliment anyone ever gave me.

But, my goodness, there's lots of ways of helping people.

Why, you could be a teacher,

or a nurse, or a social worker.

Or just a good human being.

If there're all those ways,

how come you always wanted to be a nun?

I didn't. Not always.

You didn't?

That's what I once wanted to be.

That looks like you, Sister Bertrille.

[Bertrille] That was me, Elsie Effington, queen of the wipeouts.

My sister, Jennifer, was cleaning out the attic the other day,

she came across those home movies. She sent them to me.

I didn't have an excuse to show them until now.

[chuckling]

[inaudible]

And who, pray tell, is that?

[Bertrille] Oh, that's me, too.

I was part of a rock and roll group called "the gories."

We used to play at parties and high school dances,

raise money for the student body fund.

You mean you were raising money even before you met me?

Among other things.

[chuckles]

For a while I even thought about taking up a career of mechanics.

But even though I had plenty of desire,

it turned out I was a little short

in the talent department.

[Bertrille] I was always poking around

the wrong places at the wrong times.

Of course, all that was before I suddenly went clothes crazy

and decided to become the world's most dazzling model.

Trouble was, I didn't have the right equipment

for that sort of work either.

So I gave that up, too.

Oh!

[clears throat]

So, you see, Linda,

even though I decided to become a nun,

I gave myself a chance to grow up first.

To do many things, and be many things,

and experience the joys of just being young.

Sister Bertrille,

I'll always wanna be like you

and help people,

but I think I'll start by being me.

Ok.

If I call room service, would they bring me a surfboard?

Will you teach me? Please, come on.

Well, I... Please.

[male announcer] Flight number 50 for Miami now boarding.

There they are. [Mr. Shapiro] Hi.

We're so glad you could see us off.

Great vacation. Linda turned out to be the best little surfer

on the beach.

But, Linda, you have to check the surfboard

with the rest of the baggage.

Oh, I'm not taking it with me, Uncle Carlos.

I'm leaving it here for the children at the convent.

Oh, Linda, that's very nice of you.

I'll tell the children you sent it to them.

[male announcer] Flight number 40, last call.

That's us.

Thank you, Carlos. Goodbye, Uncle Carlos.

Um, have a nice trip.

Goodbye, Sister Bertrille.

God bless you.

Shalom.

Well, you're off.

Well, goodbye. Goodbye!

Thank you for the board. Here it is.

Ok, bye. Goodbye, Carlos.

See you later. All right, now.

[all] Bye-bye.

Let me know you with this.

Oh, no. I'm used to it.

[male announcer] Flight number 40...

[end credits]

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