Original subtitles

[barking]

[Jacqueline] In the 20 years

that Reverend Mother Placido

had been at the convent San Tanco,

neither overwork, ill health,

nor the repeated pleas of Dr. Tapia

had ever persuaded her to take a day off.

Sister Bertrille accomplished this monumental feat

without even trying.

Her unwitting ally,

a battle-scarred alley cat.

He was stuck on the roof

and desperately needed a steeplejack,

[meows] A fireman with a ladder

or a nun who could fly.

[wind howling]

[kids cheering]

Reverend mother,

is there some special problem that's been bothering you?

Why do you ask?

2o years of knowing you.

I flatter myself, I can tell when

there's something

you can't quite handle.

Am I right?

Well,

I--I have been faced with a rather unique problem lately.

Oh, but it's--it's nothing, nothing that, uh,

given a little time...

W-What were you going to say?

I, uh,

believe I will take that ocean voyage, doctor.

Reverend mother, what made you

suddenly decide

to take the boat instead of fly?

I get enough of flying at home, doctor.

[Jacqueline] The next day,

Sister Bertrille drove the reverend mother

[car backfiring]

Into San Juan to catch the boat.

With an unscheduled stop along the way.

[engine choking]

[car door shuts]

Oh,

that's the 3rd flat this week.

I think it's trying to tell us something.

Can you fix it, Sister Bertrille?

[sighs] I'll give it a whirl.

What are you doing?

I'm looking at the clock.

It's the only thing in the car

that works properly.

That should give you an idea

what a crazy car it is.

Well, I--I believe that we have ample time.

My--my ship doesn't sail for another 2 hours,

I think.

Yes, I know, but I...

I'm supposed to meet Sister Jacqueline

at the hospital.

We promised, uh,

Dr. Tapia that we'd visit some of the sick kids there.

Good.

[metallic clattering]

Boy, I tell you, I've seen more rubber

on an elastic band.

Reverend mother, do you think after you

get back from your meeting,

we could buy 4 new tires?

Yes, uh, Sister Bertrille.

Uh, where would we get the money?

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe you'll get lucky at ship bingo.

Can I, uh,

uh, h-help you with--with--with that?

No, thank you, reverend mother.

I wouldn't want you boarding your ship

looking like a grease monkey.

Might give the convent a bad name.

[sighing] That's the good thing

about flying.

The only thing I have to worry about is

my cornette icing up.

Yes. Um, Sister Bertrille,

I, uh, had a special reason

for, uh, asking you to drive me today.

I'm the only nun that can change a flat?

That was a fortunate coincidence.

[Reverend Mother] No, I, uh,

I wanted to

have your solemn promise that, uh, while I'm away,

you would not tell anyone else

about your flying.

[grunts]

Think it ought to be classified information, huh?

I would rest much easier

if you would give me your promise

not to tell anyone.

You have it, reverend mother.

I don't want you to think about a thing,

just concentrate on having a good time.

Thank you, sister.

Now, all we have to do is, uh,

change this and put the spare on.

[tire explodes]

[air hissing] What was that?

Oh, I think it was the spare.

The spare went flat?

I told you it was a crazy car.

But sister, how on earth

are we going to get to the boat,

to the harbor?

Reverend mother, there's only one thing left.

Our thumbs. Thumbs?

[pants]

Uh, Sister Bertrille,

uh, do you think that anyone will stop for us?

I mean, isn't it considered dangerous

to pick up hitchhikers?

Reverend mother, if anyone thinks

2 nuns are going to conk them over the head

and steal their money,

I think we better do something

to change our image.

Hi, I'm looking for Sister Jacqueline.

Do you know where she is?

She took everyone down to the garden

to read to them.

She'll be back soon. Oh.

Why didn't you go?

Sister Jacqueline's a nice lady,

but her taste in literature is excruciating.

Oh, not your meat, huh?

Also, I'm a disrupting influence.

I'm Charlie Webster.

How do you do, Charlie? I'm Sister Bertrille.

You have a smudge on your face.

Oh, well, I was changing a flat tire.

I didn't think that was allowed

to happen to nuns.

Flats? Dirt.

You think we have an invisible shield

around us?

I don't know. I'm not Catholic.

Oh.

How'd you break your arm?

Rescuing my kid sister.

How'd you do that?

Threw her out of a third-story window.

Didn't you read about it?

No. I--I must have missed it.

Well, the building was on fire

and I woke up,

and I grabbed susie and managed to throw her

out the window.

The firemen caught her in one of those

blanket-like things.

I don't remember much after that.

The smoke made me pass out.

Wow. How's your sister now?

Oh, she's almost as good as new.

Except for a few minor burns.

She has the next bed to me.

Oh.

Gee, Charlie, you sound like a very brave boy.

I bet your parents are proud of you.

Oh, they don't know about it yet.

They're away on an African safari.

[children laughing]

Oh, hello, sister.

Did you get the reverend mother

to the boat all right?

Uh, most interesting ride she's had in years.

Oh.

Hi, susie, how are the burns?

My name's Barbara, sister,

and I have a cracked rib.

She's not your sister?

Sure, but since the fire... You know.

Charlie, you don't have a sister.

I do so,

she's a world-famous trapeze artist.

Why do you have to lie? ♪ Charlie is a liar ♪

♪ Charlie is a liar ♪

[children chanting] ♪ Charlie is a liar

Charlie is a liar ♪

[exclaiming]

Now, I don't want to hear another bit of shouting

from any of you.

Hi.

Charlie was just telling me a very interesting story

about how he broke his arm.

He fell off his bicycle, sister.

Tall story, huh?

[speaking Spanish]

Tail needs trimming.

What do you know about flying?

Oh, enough to get by.

Judging from this kite you're making,

I'd say you were an expert at it.

Charles Lindbergh's my Uncle.

That's quite an imagination he has.

Unfortunately, Sister Jacqueline,

some people see his fantasies

as just plain lies.

That's one reason why it's been so difficult

finding someone to adopt him.

He doesn't have any parents?

They were killed in a car accident

when he was 4.

Uh, since then he's been in one foster home

after another.

It's no wonder he prefers his fantasies

to the real world.

But surely that hasn't stopped people

from adopting him?

Not that alone, no.

According to the psychologist at the orphanage,

his experiences have made Charlie overly, uh,

self-oriented.

You mean he's selfish?

Yes, but psychologists don't use words like that.

Anyway, he doesn't give away a thing.

Oh, he sounds like he badly needs

a friend.

Can I come back tomorrow?

You're welcome anytime, sister,

but don't expect too much.

He's very hard to reach.

Well, at least I have one thing

going for me.

What's that?

We're both crazy about flying.

Charlie, that's the greatest kite

I've ever seen.

It's Ok.

Ok?

Isn't that kite the love of your life?

I guess it is.

Well, then why are you afraid of showing it?

Once you show you like something,

pretty soon they take it away.

Oh. Is that why you haven't made any friends

at the orphanage?

Because they eventually leave?

Pretty neat place to fly a kite, huh?

Yeah,

how come you choose this particular place,

Charlie?

That's my secret place.

That's my tree. I climb up to the top branch.

[Bertrille] Wow, that's

pretty high.

You climb all the way up there?

Ah, it's nothing after the Everest climb.

Charlie.

Well, sorry about that.

But no other human foot has ever touched

that branch.

And that's the truth.

Would you like to climb it later?

Uh, maybe some other day, huh?

Are nuns not allowed to climb trees?

Well, I don't think there's any actual law

against it.

It's just that...

Well, these aren't very good

tree-climbing clothes.

You're not like the other nuns I've met.

No? How're they different from me?

Well, I don't know. Sort of holy.

Well, I'm just a beginner.

Why have you been coming to see me, every day?

Why do you think?

Well, I've been thinking about that.

At first, I thought you were after my soul.

Then you didn't talk religious stuff

or anything like that.

So then I thought it must be something else.

You finally figured it out, huh?

Sure. It's very simple.

You're just crazy about kites.

Did you ever think it might be because I like you?

Would you like to fly her this time?

I'd be honored.

Ok, it's about ready.

Ok, Charlie, run.

Ok, let her go!

Whoa!

[grunts]

Uh, I think I can explain that.

You can fly!

Yes, but it's nothing to get scared about, Charlie.

You see, I only weigh 90 pounds

[car honking] And that, combined

with my cornette and--

and these strong trade winds here.

Well, I can fly but it's--it's all a matter

of simple aerodynamics.

You understand?

I guess so. Do you need

a kite to do it?

No, it has to do with my cornette

and my weight.

Gosh.

But there's one more thing, Charlie.

Now, I don't--

Charlie, I've been looking

all over for you.

Dr. Tapia's waiting to look at your arm.

Now quick, into the car.

What about my kite?

Well, that's Ok, Charlie, I'll reel it in for you.

See you later at the hospital

something the matter, sister?

Yeah, Charlie saw me take an unscheduled flight.

I just hope I can talk to him before he tells anybody else.

[engine rumbling]

But she can. She can fly.

Charlie, this time you've gone too far.

But it's all true.

Sure, like when you saved that lifeguard

from drowning.

[children laughing]

This is different. The wind gets under her hat

and she flies.

Now Charlie, that's just nonsense.

Nobody can fly.

Sister Bertrille can.

Charlie, one more word

and I'll have to screen you off.

But it's all true.

Sister Bertrille will tell you.

Won't you, sister?

Tell them what, Charlie?

That you can fly. They won't believe me.

I'm sorry about this, sister. The boy is overwrought.

What are you waiting for? Tell 'em.

I--I can't, Charlie.

I'm sorry, I wish I could.

Charlie?

Charlie.

Sister.

What are you going to do?

I'm going to get permission from the reverend mother

to release me from my promise

so I can tell them.

But the reverend mother's in the middle of the ocean.

How will you find her?

I know her cabin number.

[wind blowing]

Water, give me some water.

We finished all the water

yesterday.

Why you keep askin'?

I just want to see if I'm still alive.

[moans]

You're still alive.

Just try and hold on a little longer, Joe.

Here,

have a cigarette.

No, thanks.

I'm trying to give them up.

Joe. Joe, look!

Don't worry! I'll send help!

Joe, what did we just see?

A nun, flying.

W-What do you make of it?

It means we're dead.

But I feel just the same as before.

You heard her,

she's sendin' someone back for us.

You think this is heaven?

[sobs] I guess so.

Well, it's certainly not all it's cracked up to be.

[footsteps approaching]

[speaking Spanish]

[speaking Spanish]

Hi, there. I--I seem to be stuck.

So it seems.

[speaking Spanish]

[speaking Spanish]

I'm sorry to just to drop in on--on you like this,

reverend mother.

I--I tried to phone, but the ship's line was busy.

[grunts]

Reverend mother, could you give me a tug?

The blood is rushing to my head.

Oh.

They're sure takin' their time

about comin' for us.

What's the hurry, Joe?

We got all the time in the world now.

You know somethin'? I-I've been thinkin'.

If we're dead, how come I don't hear nothin'?

What did you expect, chimes?

A choir. Like in the movies.

There's always a choir.

Ah, what do they know?

Look, she's back.

They're coming for you soon!

Lobster.

And beer.

And pumpkin pie.

Mmm.

And sandwiches,

corned beef on rye.

[grunts]

Heaven must be non-denominational.

Mmm.

[crickets chirping]

Thank goodness you're back.

Sister, it must be 3:00 in the morning.

You shouldn't have waited up for me.

Well, I worry when you fly at night.

So, what did the reverend mother say?

Well, she left it up to my own judgment.

What else could she do?

Well, what are you going to do?

Tell them the truth. What else can I do?

Well, first you'd better get some sleep.

You must be tired.

Only my arms.

[door shuts]

Bertrille, you'll be late for the...

Sister Bertrille?

My cornette's gone.

Oh, that does it.

What do we do? We've got to get

to that hospital.

He's liable to kill himself.

He won't fly?

Well, I don't think so. I'll explain later. I...

[motorcycle engine puttering]

You look funny.

Laugh all you want.

You'll be sorry when you see me

flying around the hospital.

[Barbara] You're going to try

to fly in that thing?

Just keep your eyes peeled.

I only weigh half as much as Sister Bertrille,

so I'll fly twice as high.

You're gonna really get it when nurse delgado

finds out

that you've been telling more lies.

But I was telling the truth. And I'm gonna prove it to you.

[Bertrille] Charlie, wait a minute.

I'm coming up. There's something

I wanna tell you.

I'm gonna fly and don't try to stop me.

Well, I just wanted to explain something

about the flying, Ok?

[gasping]

Well, Ollie, this is another fine mess

you've gotten us into.

What did you want to tell me?

Charlie, it's not going to work.

You try to take off here and you'll go right into

a nose-dive.

Why? You said you flew because you had the cornette.

And because you only weighed 90 pounds.

Well, I've got the cornette now

and I only weigh 60 pounds.

Charlie, it isn't that simple.

You see, I fly because of a number of elements.

It has something to do with my exact weight,

plus the way it's distributed,

combined with the weight of my clothes,

combined with the weight of my shoes, combined with

goodness knows what else.

And the wind has to be exactly right.

I don't really understand it myself.

All I know is that when you bring all these

elements together, I fly.

[sighs] Let's face it, Charlie,

you just haven't got the right fuselage or

equipment for this operation.

How do I know you're telling me the truth?

Because I'm your friend.

You weren't my friend yesterday.

Well, I'm sorry about that.

You see, I--I made a solemn promise

to the mother superior at our convent

that I wouldn't tell anybody about my flying.

She seems to think it'll attract thousands

of curiosity seekers.

What's so bad about that?

Charlie, we have jobs we do at our convent.

We teach the children, we look after the old people,

we take care of the sick, we try and help the poor.

If people came pouring into our convent

just to look at me,

well, it would disrupt that work.

Besides, I had to get permission

from the reverend mother

before I could back up your story.

And did you? Yes.

And if you come down this tree with me now,

I'll tell them you were telling

the truth.

Here.

Thanks.

It didn't look good on me anyway.

[birds chirping]

Well, Charlie, what have you got

to say for yourself?

Uh, doctor, I think it's time that

I explained something to you.

Sister Bertrille, I'd like to do it myself

if you don't mind.

Doctor, I lied when I said I saw Sister Bertrille

fly yesterday.

Charlie!

Well, I guess it was just a figment

of my imagination.

[Dr. Tapia] I see.

And why did you steal Sister Bertrille's cornette

and climb in the tree?

I guess I thought it would be a big joke.

I know, I got a warped sense of humor.

Charlie, do you realize all the trouble you've caused?

I'm sorry about that. And if you're interested,

I'm not gonna lie anymore.

What made you decide that, Charlie?

Well, I think I've outgrown it.

I hope so.

[Dr. Tapia] Ok, everybody into the Jeep.

[Bertrille] Charlie.

What made you tell them that my flying

was a figment of your imagination?

Well, all those curiosity seekers.

I couldn't let you take a rap like that.

I'm afraid we're going to be a little crowded, sisters.

Oh, that's Ok, doctor. We'll walk.

[Charlie] So long, sister.

You know, that's the first

unselfish thing

he's done in years?

Mmm-hmm. Looks like he's on his way.

Feel pretty good, huh?

4 feet off the ground.

And I'm not even wearing my cornette.

[end credits]

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