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Zulu
(male narrator) In 1972, a crack commando unit...
was sent to prison by a military court...
for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptly escaped...
from a maximum-security stockade...
to the Los Angeles underground.
Today, still wanted by the government...
they survive as soldiers of fortune.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help...
and if you can find them...
maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[gun firing]
[inaudible]
Why don't you let me drop you off, Samantha?
No way. We're in this together, John.
Besides, I never back out of a fight.
Okay. Never could talk any sense to you anyway.
Besides, I gotta take care of you.
Well, don't you worry about me, little sister.
Nothing's gonna happen to me, I promise you.
[birds chirping]
[truck approaching]
John, that's McEwan's truck.
I don't think we should stop.
It's our last chance to fill up. Gotta get some gas.
(McEwan) John Lawrence.
I thought I explained it very nicely before.
This is a union gas station now.
It wouldn't be right for a scab to be using the pumps.
This station's open to the public, McEwan, and I need a fill up.
Don't see why you want to fill her up, John.
The only logging done around here is done by union members.
You mean anyone who's willing to pay you dues.
[exclaiming]
What a waste of fuel, huh?
[gasping]
Get away from him! Stop it.
What are you guys doing?
Stay out of this, old man. It's not your fight.
[groaning] Real sorry you had to see this, ma'am.
But these loggers got a lot at stake...
and your brother just keeps getting in the way.
You're gonna kill him. Stop it!
[grunting] That's enough.
You can't stop me, McEwan.
I'm real sorry you feel that way, John.
Guess you're not gonna be doing too much without a truck.
[panting]
Torch it.
[truck exploding]
"At this point, the strength...
"of the enemy was...."
I'd like a paper, please.
You gave me too much change. No, I didn't.
Yes, yes you did.
Yes, I did.
Well, honesty in the big city, huh?
I just want a paper.
I'd like the one second up from the bottom, please.
Second from the bottom?
[sighing] Lady, they're all the same.
Well, perhaps, but I'd like the one second from the bottom.
Now, today is Thursday, the....
Twelfth. The twelfth.
And it says right here, Thursday, the twelfth.
The twelfth, yeah.
Now this paper is the same as this paper...
or this paper...
or this paper, or this paper. Trust me, lady.
Look.
Could I have the paper I asked for? I'll give you $10 for it.
$10?
[groaning]
You must want that paper pretty bad.
What's in it?
There's something in there for me. I was told to get that paper.
Look I have to have that paper, okay?
$15... $15...
...$16... ...$16...
$17, $18. That's all I have.
Please, could I have that paper?
$18.
[groaning] Well...
[grunting]
[sighing]
There you go, lady. Thank you.
You must need to see us pretty bad, huh?
So this Bull McEwan wants to organize a union for all the loggers up there.
McEwan has got everybody believing...
they can get twice as much money for their lumber as they've been getting.
All they have to do is join the union and give him all their dues.
And all they're gonna get for their money is a lot of empty promises, right?
Well, anyone who stands up to him gets beaten up and their equipment wrecked.
The police can't do anything 'cause...
there's never any witnesses that'll testify.
McEwan has blocked us from getting our lumber to the mill...
and if we can't haul our logs, we'll be wiped out.
Sounds like a case of a bunch of cockroaches that need to be stepped on.
Except no one's been able to do the stepping.
Well, I happen to do a little trading...
in international lumber futures and...
since the bottom fell out of the housing market...
some of these guys are only getting five cents on the dollar.
Then there's no way for McEwan to make good on his word.
Oh, if I was just a man. I would haul off and crack McEwan one...
right across the jaw.
I'm glad you're not a man...
I like you just the way you are.
Will you help us?
Depends if you can pay our fee.
If we can get McEwan off our backs...
we have a good crop of timber for this year.
We will get the money. Then we will be there.
(Murdock) Perkins, Normandy, 1944.
(Face) How long has this man been talking like this?
Well, I don't know. We never listen to what Murdock says.
He's been gibbering for as long as I can remember.
Then why did I get the call only just this morning?
I didn't know someone called you.
Look, to be perfectly honest...
we just don't pay any attention to what Murdock says.
You don't pay attention?
Well, that seems to be obvious. Because if you did pay attention...
you'd know this man is a major threat to our national security.
We were ordered to take the great ship Leningrad...
16 were killed...
but it wasn't my fault. Kalyenko knew.
Two of his men were agents.
Look, I don't understand this...
but you can't just take this patient out of here without the proper--
The MI-5 chaps knew we were gonna bomb Haiphong harbor...
[shushing] but their Secretary put the call in--
If you repeat anything of what you've heard...
(Face) you'll be in violation of the National Security Act.
What is going on here?
Nurse Meadows, what is that patient doing in the hall?
Please, he's with Military Intelligence.
All right, I want both of you to go about your business as usual...
as if everything's normal. Sergeant Heidelberg.
(Murdock) The mission to Berlin had to be aborted.
The Prime Minister has the briefing papers--
If you repeat anything that you have just heard...
you both will be tried and convicted of sedition and treason.
When did you first enter this country, Ms. Heidelberg?
I was born here.
You will be contacted, be prepared to bring proof of citizenship.
Now, you will listen very carefully.
You will both finish your shift, clock out, and go home.
If in an hour you don't hear from me, don't leave the house.
Your phone will ring. Pick it up.
If the voice on the other end doesn't say "Thunderball"...
let it ring at least six times before you pick it up again.
Is that perfectly clear? But--
There are no buts.
Let's just hope we have acted in time.
[speaking German]
[birds chirping]
Bigfoot country.
First one who lays an eye on the hairy guy wins.
What's the prize?
$15 and a year's free subscription.
It say it right there. (Face) Swell.
People have been looking for this missing link for years.
I'm gonna tag this baby and get my name right up there with Charles Darwin and...
Leo Bell. Leo Bell? Who's that?
That's the guy in the room next to me.
He's got a mouth so big he can put a whole jar of peanut butter in it.
Lid and all. Really?
Jealous?
[honking]
It's working great.
This Bigfoot mating call's gonna lead that baby right to me.
There ain't no Bigfoot. It's just a big story, that's all.
Oh, yeah? Well, when I catch him, I'm gonna be rich.
[honking]
If you blow that in my face again, I'm gonna stick it up your nose.
That would hurt. (Hannibal) Cool it, guys.
Samantha said that no one in town would sell her supplies.
There should be a gas station- coffee shop up ahead.
We'll stop and pick up a couple of things...
and I'll call and let her know we're in the area.
[van doors closing]
There you go. Thank you.
Now. Four hundred hamburgers?
If you ran around in the woods all day in a hair suit, you'd get hungry, too.
Now we lay them burgers from the forest to my window.
The big guy follows the trail, and bam!
We catch him munching on a burger, claim the reward.
Now 'course, since they're your burgers...
we split that reward right down the middle.
$7.50 cents each.
Where's your courage, man...
your sense of adventure?
You don't catch a mountain with a mouse, you know?
Or do you?
Yeah, we're about 10 minutes away.
Yeah, we're going to pick up a couple of things. And then we'll be there.
Okay, bye.
You friends of the Lawrences?
We're gonna work for them.
I hear they got some logs to haul.
They got nothing to move.
Around here folks don't work for the Lawrences.
Oh.
Hey, Face?
Did you see a sign that we passed saying we're leaving the country?
No can't say I did, Hannibal. How about you, Murdock?
No, sure didn't. Well...
that means we're in the United States of America...
and, as I remember, it's a free country.
This is a public place. We can go where we want.
Around here you can't, mister. You hear me?
[groaning]
Get 'em, big guy!
[honking]
[grunting]
[groaning]
[gasping]
[grunting]
Proprietor, here's for the breakage.
Thanks for the use of the hall.
[exclaiming]
You think McEwan will know we were here?
[Bigfoot call honking]
[honking loudly]
[panting] I don't believe this.
Murdock, it's 5:00 in the morning.
[shushing]
You don't wanna scare him away. Who?
Bigfoot.
I know he's out there.
A fleeting shadow...
the glimmer of a hairy elbow.
The outline of a footprint in the dew-drenched earth.
The whole overstuffed enchilada, Bigfoot.
And this is the call of the big, blond Bigfoot.
Murdock, you're crazy.
[Face groaning]
[Murdock blowing call]
[knocking on door]
Rise and shine.
Rise and shine. Yoo-hoo.
It's 5:00 in the morning.
I thought a soldier like you was used to getting up early.
I am. As long as I don't have to share a room with Marlin Perkins over there.
(Face) He kept me up all night going on and on and on...
about Bigfoot.
No, I see him. He's coming...
I see the beast.
[birds chirping]
He's coming closer...
and closer and... Oh, it's so horrible!
[screaming]
What you doing, fool? We got some logging to do.
Yeah. B.A.'s gonna teach me to be a bad logger.
Bad means good, right? You got it, little guy.
B.A., do you know what you've done?
Bigfoot got one look at you and hightailed it back into the woods to warn his friends.
I wouldn't be surprised if the Bigfoots didn't even have a reward out after you.
[grunting]
Look at little Billy.
I haven't seen him this happy since his father passed away.
He has a good lady for a mother. He's a lucky boy.
Boy, these trees really look a lot bigger when you get outside.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
You had to use that one, didn't you, Hannibal?
Face, this won't take long.
McEwan can't afford to have any logging operation he doesn't control.
If we can get the Lawrences' logs to the mill, past McEwan...
the other loggers will see it and know they can stand up to this slimeball.
And it'll put him out of business.
You're gonna have to get us a truck...
to replace the one McEwan torched.
[moaning]
Sawdust and tweed.
My tailor's really gonna love this one.
[screeching]
So this is the new crew you hired, John.
That's right, McEwan.
We're going to be hauling logs. That's good to hear.
We figured we'd just come up here and check on union cards.
How about you?
You got a union card? No.
Hey, Face...
you got a union card? No.
I must have left it back in my tuxedo.
How about you, B.A.? This is my union card.
Hey, now easy, fellas.
We came up here nice and friendly like.
Which is more that I can say the way you handled yourself at the gas stop yesterday.
We handled ourselves beautifully at the truck stop.
McEwan, it's more than just taking the money from these loggers.
You've taken their dreams and you've twisted 'em till there's nothing left.
That's very poetic. The lady is right.
You taking these people money and got them believing you can get more for their lumber.
And you can't and you know it. You're not a union.
You're just a bunch of goons extorting money from good, hardworking people.
Now easy, easy.
(McEwan) You know, Lawrence...
seems to me there's an overdue mortgage on this place.
And if you don't get your logs to the mill you're gonna lose your house.
Now that's a real nasty bit of trouble.
But I got this feeling you're in for a whole run of nasty trouble.
Well, now that you've said what you came to say...
get the hell off our property.
Come on.
[car engine starting] He meant what he said, you know, about trouble.
Yeah, I expect that.
B.A...
stand guard up by the road by those trees.
Murdock, make a half circle about a quarter mile and see what you can find.
Face, we still gotta get that truck. Gotcha.
Hey. Where are you taking me? To get a truck.
[car approaching]
[tires screeching]
I don't get it.
We stop in the middle of the forest...
you go digging under a tree, and you expect us to get a truck with that?
"That," as you call it, is a prop.
It's the performance that counts. Shall we?
It's the coloring that's got me worried.
See, the African variety has the orange tint.
The Brazilian ones have the dark brown spots.
Can I help you?
Frank Sullivan. G-10, USFS.
United States Forest Service. Insecticide Division.
(Face) We could have a big problem here.
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about the South American pine chigger.
"South American" what? Pine chigger. Deadly to trees.
We found a couple of them crawling around out back.
Must have been in a load of logs somebody hauled recently.
I rented a truck...
to the Garrison Brothers yesterday. They was hauling logs.
There you go.
But they weren't pine. They weren't?
Not pine? Good Lord!
Now they've acquired a taste for other woods.
You could be wiped out here.
Well, what do we do?
Well, I'm pretty sure these are the Brazilian variety.
Which, believe me, is a big relief...
because their bite usually isn't fatal.
Fatal?
That was the African variety that bit Dr. Tunis last week, wasn't it?
(Samantha) I think so.
Of course Dr. Tunis, he had a bad heart, too.
So there were other factors involved in his death.
Oh, boy, I sure hope the females haven't laid their eggs yet...
'cause if they have, we could be sitting on a time bomb here.
Hey, what're you gonna do? What if them females already laid their eggs?
The fumigation squad is out, right?
They're running a few days behind schedule, so we can't predict when they'll get here.
Wait a minute. You gotta get them out here. I got trucks to rent.
Well, a week maybe.... At least.
I don't want that truck on my lot.
See, it's against department regulations...
to transport a vehicle suspected of infestation.
On the other hand.... We could save time.
Yes, yes, you could.
Could you sign us an authorization note, please?
Thank you.
See, what did I tell you?
It's just a combination of charm, sophistication, finesse.
Works every time.
Sometimes that doesn't always work on everything.
What do you mean?
Well, sometimes it's best to just be straightforward and honest with someone.
Well, of course if that doesn't work...
there's always charm...
sophistication and finesse. Right.
Let's see if this thing runs.
[both cheering]
[B.A. exhaling]
Milk is good for you, Billy. Okay, B.A., you got it.
(Hannibal) Let's move it, B.A.
We've only got 12 hours to get these logs to the mill.
Go!
[winch whirring]
I wonder if you could use tuna fish as a bait?
Tuna fish? Yeah.
You take a tuna fish sandwich and you put it in a giant-size mousetrap...
outside his cave and you just wait for him to get hungry.
Bigfoot hasn't been spotted in these parts since 1954.
No, he's back. I know it.
There's even a $15 reward out for him if you can catch a picture of him.
You wanna split it?
[birds cawing]
Colonel, I just saw a goon with binoculars at about 10:00.
They're doing a lot of moving behind those trees.
I saw two guys with rifles up the hill. Get everybody back to the house.
Do it quick, I'll go scout.
B.A.
We can't wait around here, we gotta get out. Come on.
I'm with you.
[groaning]
Murdock.
My leg. That's a lot of pressure on it.
[grunting]
I'll have to get some help.
[panting]
* I'm a lumberjack, I'm okay *
* I've got no legs, but what the hey *
[gunshots firing]
Hannibal, Murdock's hurt. I think it's bad.
Let's get out of here.
How you doing, Murdock?
I think there's a tree on my leg.
[struggling]
No, I can't do it. B.A.
John, you pull him out when we get it up.
You got it.
[grunting]
He's clear.
[all panting]
Thank you, thanks, guys. Thanks, man.
I just got a little splinter here. You wanna help me get it out?
You're crazier than I thought you were, fool.
All right.
McEwan's made his move...
now we'll make ours.
My Lord. What happened? Is Billy okay?
(John) He's fine.
McEwan and his boys decided to make sure we couldn't haul any timber.
Looks like they did a good job.
The winch is ruined, Hannibal. It's nothing but scrap metal now.
Nice going, Face. Well, thanks, B.A.
About time.
Without that winch, we can't load the trucks.
If we don't get the timber to the mill by nightfall, we're out of business.
We've only got a couple of hours to get a new one.
Do you have any idea how much a thing like that costs?
Oh, I'll bet Face knows just the guy
who'd loan us the money to buy one, huh, Face?
Well, now that you mention it....
And after what happened to Lawrence and his pals today...
I don't think we're gonna worry about him anymore.
[chuckling]
They're probably in the next county by now.
Why don't you tell the boys it's payday?
[chainsaw buzzing]
I hope you don't mind us entering without knocking.
What the hell do you think you're doing?
They looked surprised to see us. Yeah, I think they are.
You guys don't learn too well, do you?
On the contrary. We're very quick studies.
B.A., show these suckers what happens to people...
(Hannibal) who don't respect others' property.
Come here, pal.
Now, Face, get the cash.
My friends and I are a little unhappy watching our backs for fallen trees.
So I got some advice for you.
Pack up...
and move to some other part of the woods.
That was a very expensive piece of equipment you blew up, Mr. McEwan.
So I'm sure you'll want to make a donation, and...
that ought to just about cover it. Thanks.
Back off, McEwan.
(John) They should be there in about an hour.
Okay, John.
I'll keep her open for you. I'll do it for you...
but you can't let McEwan know I'm helping you.
Okay, thanks.
Just spoke to Claymont. We're all set.
He'll take the whole load, but we've got to be there by 2:00.
Good, we're ready to roll.
McEwan'll never let you get through to the mill. He's gonna try to stop you.
He probably will. And we'll be ready for him.
You take care of yourself, now, B.A.
Okay, Billy, you listen to your mother and don't you worry about B.A.
I'll be back for supper.
[gasping]
[imitating B.A.] Hey, I don't want you giving any jive to B.A....
'bout that Bigfoot stuff, you hear?
[B.A. chuckling]
Once you hit the mill, you'll be safe.
I'd wish you'd let me make this run with you.
John, you gotta stay here to take care of Billy and Samantha...
in case McEwan's men come back this way.
Okay, B.A., let's mount up.
Please, be careful. You can count on it.
I'm allergic to bullets, especially those headed in my direction.
So we're moving out.
* I'm a lumberjack, I'm okay *
* I sleep all night and I work all day *
* Wear my clothes just once a year *
* Smells real bad but I don't care *
* I'm a lumberjack, that's a fact... *
They're rolling.
(McEwan) Comin' by you in about five minutes.
We're ready for 'em. They won't get through.
You better make sure they don't.
It's steering to the left pretty bad, Hannibal.
(B.A.) I did what I could...
but with this load, the steering won't last too long.
Just keep it on the road, B.A. We'll make it.
Looks like McEwan's put out the welcome mat.
[gunshots firing]
Hold on.
Nice, B.A.
[screeching]
I could have picked their teeth with it...
if B.A. had kept this thing straight.
I don't think it's the best time to tell him, all right?
Uh-oh.
This is starting to get interesting.
This fool thing beginning to heat up, Hannibal.
[car tires screeching]
We're burning up, man. I'll give 'em a little more firepower.
[honking]
You, Claymont? Yup.
These logs belong to John Lawrence.
We didn't really think you'd make it.
You're better than we thought.
(Claymont) Boys. Halt.
Hey, Smith, I'll take that.
You're dead men. You know that, don't you?
Oh, Colonel.
McEwan, we've got 'em down here at the lumberyard.
(McEwan) Okay, hold them till I get there.
[grunting]
There. That'll hold 'em.
And when McEwan gets here...
you guys are gonna be fertilizer for the trees.
I always had a green thumb.
You know, Hannibal...
I'm beginning to wonder if I'm really cut out for this kind of work.
[grunting]
I can see it.
The heart starts a-pumping...
and the adrenalin starts a-flowing...
and the veins and the muscles start to swell.
An immovable object...
against an overwhelming, powerful muscular force.
Go to it, big guy, you can do it.
Oh, it is a beautiful machine.
Shut up, fool.
[grunting]
You go down, I'll tell if it hurts.
You fool!
[exclaiming]
Fool, you got the thing on my ankle.
Thanks.
Now, they've gone to get McEwan.
We probably got less than an hour before they get back.
Well, what's your plan, Colonel?
Artillery, Captain...
we need artillery.
Now, team, what do you think?
Huh? Look at it.
[sawing]
Well, praise the Lord.
[tires screeching]
(Hannibal) Places, everybody.
[motor whirring]
Curtain up.
(Hannibal) All right, drop 'em.
[gunshots firing]
*[gibbering operatically]
[grunting]
The man did try, Hannibal.
Yeah, they always try, but they never learn.
You see, what they really need is a plan.
You know, it's too bad you've got to go, I can always use a bunch of good loggers.
With McEwan gone, you'll get yourself a crew.
All right, found a guy in Los Angeles...
who says he'll take all the logs you can give him.
And he'll give you 50 cents a board foot more than the going rate.
What? Yeah...
but you gotta be there in 48 hours. There's the address.
I'll be there.
Hey, B.A.
My tire's flat. Wanna help me fix it?
Did you eat all your breakfast this morning?
Yep. And I even took my vitamins so I can be big and strong like you.
Well, okay, let's go.
It's a long way to L.A., so I brought you some sandwiches.
Your favorite kind. My favorite kind?
Ham sandwiches.
Well, this is the most inexpensive job we've ever had.
No motel bills, good home-cooked food.
You can put another $15 in that kitty soon as Bigfoot comes around.
Murdock, I think if you were gonna catch Bigfoot...
you'd have caught him by now.
We have to leave in 15 minutes.
But I've got traps set everywhere, Colonel--
Of course, I mean, if I haven't gotten him by the time...
we're getting ready to leave, of course, I'll throw in the towel.
But I've got a feeling.
My sixth sense tells me that he's near.
[metal clanking]
Bigfoot. I knew I'd get him, I knew it.
[panting]
Come on!
Murdock, don't you want to stay behind in the van?
You know, just to be on the safe side? Bigfoot!
Murdock!
[Murdock laughing] You dead meat, fool. I'm gonna kill you.
Let me down, sucker. I'll get you, Murdock.
You a dead man, Murdock.
**
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