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So... slow down.

It's dangerous, you know?

Some bad things can happen.

Once I was at the lights...

They were red, yellow and green...

Red, yellow and green...

Red, yellow and green...

There was someone ahead of me.

I got out of the car and said,

"They’ve run out of colours. Are you going to drive or what?"

He then realized. Do you understand?

Ah... you made your move!

Draughts...

Draughts are something you must feel inside.

Inside you have only crap and alcohol.

Bad boy!

If some hot pussy comes in, call me, I'll shower and come on down.

Damn cops...

Shit...

Gustino!

Gustino!

What do you want?

Open up, they’re gonna suspend my driving licence.

You didn't even say “Hi”!

Hi, can you please open? They’re coming.

I can't take you waking me up every night.

What should I do?! They’re always there.

Mr Bressan!

You partied again last night, uh?

It's a war, my friend!

- Officer, good evening! - Good evening.

General Winter is already attacking?

Good bye. All the best!

Scoundrel!

They look terrible!

And underneath? The plate is all greasy with oil!

These people are already dead, but they haven't been told yet.

No!

They appreciate good food!

Anyway it doesn't matter.

I want to make a good impression.

I don't dish out meatballs for the dead.

Paolo, chill out.

Do as I do, sing a song!

- Stop it! - You do the bass...

Lower, I'll do...

Shit!

- Damn, you burned yourself! - Don't say “damn”, say “fucking shit”!

Fuck off, bloody... - No! Please, don't say it.

Paolo... - Quiet, keep quiet...

Paolo!

What will the boys eat?!

"God Almighty, Lord of the..."

What are you looking at,

old wrecks?!

Wash yourself in the morning! What a stink...

Gross!

Pa-pa...

Paolo!

Did you call the co-op?

Did you call the co-op?

No.

Why?

I don't want to lose my job because of you.

You won’t lose it...

Call the co-op!

I'm playing...

Call the co-op now!

- Let me finish. - Call.

- Wait or he'll kill me... - Call, please, call.

I'm calling, stop it!

What happened?

- So? - No one's answering...

Hello. This is Paolo.

Can you tell Alfio we had a problem in the kitchen?

Nothing serious.

Ernesto?

I'm with him now.

We’re at Gustino's...

Because he...

Understand?

OK, thank you. Bye.

- What did he say? - Everything is OK. Stop it!

Calm down.

Give him a glass please... I can't take him anymore.

- To him? - Don't you see how edgy he is?

No, no, no, no!

Paolo,

I haven’t been drinking for...

96 days.

"Wine is healthy!

"Water is for funerals!"

I'll give you a funeral. Now play!

What have you been up to?

There's oil everywhere, it's like a battlefield.

It's my fault, I couldn't restrain him.

Who?

Oh God...

He hadn't had a drink in 3 months. - 96 days.

He seemed possessed.

He grabbed a pan and burned my hand.

And when I asked why,

he said the Virgin Mary ordered him to do it.

- Then you don't understand... - Cheat.

Alfio, I know what you think,

but religion is useless.

If you're an idiot and believe in God,

you believe in the God of idiots.

I'm off.

Bye.

"Wine makes you happy

"Water is for funerals

"If you don’t drink up the wine from Friuli,

"you’re a wretch!"

Wine keeps life going,

water is for dogs!

- Alfione! - Hey, Paolo!

What is it?

Some idiots have been chucking stones at my window.

Stop there.

Where would you stand if you were to throw a stone?

Me?

I don't know... I'd stand further back...

Stop, don't move.

Stop, don't move.

Here.

May I?

Who can it be? - I don't know...

Someone who bears a grudge against me. Some kid with nothing better to do.

- How far does that camera film? - It has a wide angle lens...

When will you stop throwing stones?

What are you saying?

I swear that if you break my porcelain heart, I’ll have you arrested.

Porcelain heart...

Good...

Yesterday I spoke to Ernesto.

He was so sorry, the poor guy.

Did he say anything?

He said it was you who made him drink.

Poor sod,

he really needs help.

And you’re there to help, right?

I was there for that...

- A phone is ringing. - It’s mine.

Alfio...

It’s from work, I’m not answering.

I’m not offended.

Today is Sunday: I want to spend the day with my friends and family.

Quite right!

Alfio?

I said no.

Hello?

Yes, I’ll put him on.

Hello? Hi, dear. No, no problem at all.

So what’s up? Yeah, yeah...

You're such an asshole, he was clean.

Stop it.

Why do I always get the blame for anything that happens.

Ernesto is 40 and if he wants a drink it’s his own business.

And I have nothing to do with it.

You’re ridiculous.

I don’t know why he keeps inviting you over for lunch.

You should ask yourself why you make goulash just the way I like it.

Because I want you to have a heart attack.

You should have killed me before,

when we were married. At least you would’ve inherited.

What?

Your fines? Your girlfriends?

- Can I go to the toilet? - The seat!

What a pain in the arse... I’ll eat your seat!

Idiot.

Maybe I didn’t make myself clear:

tonight I’m not paying.

- Calm down, Josko, just pay next time. - No! You don’t get it.

I’m not paying.

I’ve always paid, but you never bought me a drink.

Oh God...

Are they clean? - Yup, fresh on today.

If you go on like this, you’ll end up nicking Alfio’s.

Yuck!

You know what your illness is called?

Love.

No...

Dick-head.

You prick!

Mr Bressan.

Mr Bressan.

Damn...

Mr Bressan.

You can’t arrest me for drunk driving now,

you’ve gotta do it while I’m drunk. - We’ve come to give you this.

What is it?

Bad news from Slovenia:

Your Aunt Anja Kovac died.

The notary... - Who?

Your Aunt Anja Kovac.

The notary who is taking care of the estate

has something urgent to tell you.

The letter contains all the details.

For the inheritance?

No...

for the appointment.

Ah yes, the appointment.

Excuse me...

Poor Aunt Anna...

Oh God.

Aunt Anna is no more!

Anja.

She raised me when I was knee high,

she brought me wafers from Slovenia.

How...

How did she perish?

She died.

Poor Aunt Anna...

Her name was Anja.

Now she’s dead.

Good day.

Condolences.

Oh God, there she is...

Inside there, my aunt...

Who’s he?

Anja’s nephew.

And why does he show up only now?

Barabbas! Barabbas!

Poor Aunt Anna...

Anja!

I called her Anna, OK?

So sit down and keep quiet.

Aunt, aunt...

Look at me now, devastated by sorrow.

Why?

Not even a word, a phone call, a letter...

Why so suddenly?

How sorrowful!

Now you are there...

in that small urn...

Just out of interest...

How much is the house worth?

Ah, the house...

About 67 thousand euros.

Nothing. Poor woman, she was so humble...

She had to mortgage everything to buy medicines.

Yes, the house, the land, the furniture.

Everything’s been sold.

What? This has all been sold?

- Yes, but wait. - You wait! Why did you look for me?

Your aunt said you were the only...

and we should call you in case of death.

- The only what? - The only...

How do you say?

Only heir. - Of what, if you sold everything?

Wait.

Your aunt wanted you to have the porcelain dog.

Me?

His name is Helmut and Zoran is very fond of him.

Who?

Zoran.

Zoran.

What did you say?

I introduced you to Zoran.

I told him you’re his uncle.

Yes.

Is he retarded?

No, wait.

After his parents died,

Zoran was raised by his grandmother.

Now a relative must stay with him,

until he enters a home for minors.

When?

In 5 days.

5?

I don’t... - Wait, wait.

This is

the home’s address.

These are the documents you need to carry the urn.

What urn?

The dead grandmother’s.

For... the dead grandmother.

Fuck off.

Zagor, short reckonings make long friends:

We’ll be together for a few days and you’ll do what I say.

Then I’ll drop you off at the loony bin. Any questions? No? Good.

For the record, my name is Zoran...

Call yourself whatever you like. Just as long as you keep quiet!

There...

That’s how I like you: quiet and obedient.

And now say good-bye to your grandmother.

I don’t want any animals in the house.

Here.

Close the door.

You sleep there.

And if...

Hey, Blondie?

Zagor?

I can’t stand this mess.

I wish to reside in here.

Reside?

Oi Poet, tomorrow I’ll need to reside there,

so leave me some paper.

Reside...

Red wine

comes out.

If you drink too much red wine,

you get piles.

If you drink white wine, nothing happens.

White wine works inside you,

red wine comes out.

Can I have a glass of water?

Sit down and keep quiet.

- Who is he? - My nephew.

Where did you find him?

In Yugoslavia. Give him a glass of water.

I’ll come back for him at one. Thanks.

- You won’t leave him here, will you? - Then I’ll leave him in the car

and you’ll keep an eye on him. - Tell me who he is.

I have to go to work, I’m late.

Is it so hard to help me?

How many times have I helped you?

- Never. - Bastard!

Don’t give him anything, I’m not paying for it.

Zagor,

I warn you.

And you, too.

Here.

What a strange name: Zagor.

My full name is Zoran Spazapan.

My name is Gustino.

- Can you tell me your surname? - Yes, Liberati.

If you need something, I’m there.

Paolo.

Did you see the calendar?

Blondie,

I know it by heart. Udinese is playing away.

What’s that got to do with anything?

I noticed that Saint Pancras’ Day

is getting closer.

Oh God, sorry. I forgot.

You know, I wrote a song about...

what’s-his-name? - Well done!

I submitted it to the choir.

But the choirmaster says he’s not sure.

This is how things work in Italy: if you don’t have the right connections...

Mafia.

- “Poor...” - No, don’t start again.

“Poor Pancras,

“he was stopped by the legionaries.

“They tied his wrists tight

“and the emperor wanted him...

“dead!”

Enough!

You’re a bloody pain in the arse!

Paolo,

if Saint Pancras

endured 1500 lashes,

it means that I, Ernesto, can quit drinking.

You’ll never quit drinking because you’re an alcoholic.

It’s your only peculiarity, why do you want to give it up?

I don’t understand.

Paolo...

You are...

a bad person.

And you, Ernesto, are an alcoholic.

When you become, if you ever become,

a dipsomaniac like me, then you can speak.

But until then you have to keep...

quiet.

Anita.

Hi.

What are you looking at, Latin lover?

Behave.

You always hit it?

With extreme frequency.

My name is Anita.

My name in full is Zoran Spazapan.

- Name in full? - Yes, name in full. Zoran Spazapan.

I’ve never seen you here, how old are you?

16 and a few weeks.

The way you speak is funny.

I learnt Italian through two novels: “Bolts on Isonzo” by Giulio Previati

and “A Maiden’s Tears” by Enrico Cosulich.

Two masterpieces.

Do you know them? - No.

See you soon, Zoran Spazapan.

Anita, they are there.

What are you looking at?

Play, stupid.

Good, good...

There he goes. Good.

Brilliant! How do you do it?

- Here. - Thank you.

- Your nephew is a phenomenon. - A paranormal one.

Maybe he’ll enter a darts team.

I’d settle for the loony bin...

I was once in a loony bin.

But I’ve never seen anyone like him.

Once someone told me that he was...

Virdis’ illegitimate son!

No!

Maradona’s.

Big deal, uh?

I should have his autograph somewhere.

Who knows how much it is worth...

Listen...

where did you learn to play darts?

From grandma Anja Kovac.

But she got the bulls-eye more frequently.

And what else did you do?

We played darts.

I hit the bulls-eye precisely

18,712 times.

Poet, fancy another game?

- I would like to evaluate... - Evaluate. In the meantime let’s go.

Each competition has its rules...

Silent, now!

You speak when you don’t play and you speak when you play...

You have to keep quiet!

See how nice it is now that you’re quiet?

So, are you or are you not darts players?

You may as well say that you’re shitting your pants because of a boy.

Three goes each,

the one who hits the bulls-eye

most times,

wins.

He says you are all cowards

and that the boy wants to challenge the best among you all.

Tell the idiot that this won’t be a game of darts.

In Slovenia we call it target shooting

and usually we do it with a weapon,

a shotgun...

or at least a handgun!

What does Blondie say?

He says that here in Slovenia

the aim is not to hit the bulls-eye.

Zagor, let’s go look for some real men,

not these shit-scared people.

He said you’re shit-scared and says you are all dick-heads.

Tell that fat dick that he talks too much.

They will play!

What else did he say?

He said you are

a fat shit-face

and that the boy looks retarded.

Do they think they look good in their homo T-shirts?

Let’s go, Zagor.

What’s the stake?

Let’s say that if we win, we take the stuff that’s on the table,

including the two salamis

and the ham.

If we lose, I pay for the stuff and you get to keep it.

Can we start now?

Uncle Paolo Bressan,

this place isn’t to my liking.

I’m afraid I won’t take part in the trial.

You don’t play,

I’ll bite your arm off in front of these people, OK?

The noise is unbearable in this place.

OK, I’ll tell everyone to keep quiet, just go and hit the bulls-eye 3 times.

Understand how many times? - Three.

- How many? - Three.

Bloody hell! Will you shut up?!

He’s just a boy. Show some sympathy. Damn!

You dirty dumbasses!

Go!

Yes!

Yes!

Well done, nephew.

You gave those peasants a hard time.

Uncle Paolo Bressan,

may I remind you my mother and father were peasants, too.

Also grandma Ljubica and grandpa Gregor were peasants.

I said it just to say something... I get what you’re saying.

Hey, listen...

We’ve been playing darts

for seven years here.

But I’ve never seen anyone so skilled. The boy is a natural.

- I know, I raised him! - Do you go to the championships?

- What? - The world championships in Glasgow.

Jure has been there, and says it’s amazing.

Why? What do you win?

50,000 pounds, 60,000 euros.

Real darts, not target shooting.

You just have to enter... You find all the details on the web.

Thank you.

...cousin Andras and his sister were peasants.

Like Jose and Ivo, who are brothers

and are distant cousins of mine.

Enough!

Shut that mouth of yours, and pull those feet inside.

Gustino.

The badger is here.

No, Mum, it’s Bruno, the neighbour’s dog.

No,

it’s the badger.

Mum,

go to sleep, good night.

I thought it was the badger.

Good night, Clara.

- Now it’s the badger... - No, not you too, please.

- Pardon me. - Enough.

Immoral people.

Keeping a child up until now...

Where has he been?

Nowhere...

We had something important to do...

At this time? You?

Something important?

So?

Can important things be done only during the day?

It’s not a matter of day or night...

The thing is that when you do something important, I get worried.

Well! You needn’t worry,

just mind your own business.

If that’s how things are, Mr Bressan, I wish you a good night.

If you do not have too many important things to do,

close the door after you.

Sure, Mr Liberati.

Good night to you, to mother and the badgers.

60,000...

Bloody hell! 60,000 euros!

I’ll ask them for it in pounds,

in 20 pound banknotes.

I need a bag this big...

And then I’ll vanish once and for all.

I’ll get the fuck out of here.

I’ll start a new life far from this wretched country.

Hey, Blondie,

I’ll drop you off on the motorway and you can play there.

Zoran, what do you miss about your grandmother?

Grandmother.

Grandmother.

A grandmother is unique.

The love of a grandmother is irreplaceable.

Of course, but if I may, my opinion is that

an uncle can also be very important.

Think of Donald Duck...

Mr Bressan,

what made you change your mind in these few days

and drove you to ask

to foster your nephew?

Foster?

I thought there was a trial period

for him, for me...

Naturally.

Tell me, Mr Bressan,

what are your reasons?

When I was a child,

I had a white rabbit,

I called him...

Flachy.

My grandfather gave him to me.

One day,

I remember it as if it were yesterday,

I woke up, got out of bed

and went into the garden.

Flachy, Flachy?

Where are you, my friend, Flachy?

I spent all morning calling him, but Flachy was nowhere to be found.

It was strange.

Usually when I called him, he came out of a bush, from behind a tree

and hopped happily towards me.

My old friend Flachy.

And then?

And then my mother said that lunch was ready.

I ate a lot,

I also asked for a second helping.

At some point,

I looked at my grandfather...

I looked at my grandfather

sitting at the head of the table,

and asked him if he had seen Flachy

that morning.

He broke into laughter and said:

"You just ate him!"

When I saw Zagor, I immediately thought of Flachy.

I couldn’t bear anything terrible to happen to my nephew.

That’s why I want him with me,

to defend him from this wretched world.

Flachy!

Why, why?

Foster care.

What?! You’re completely insane!

Why?

Three days ago you wanted to kill him.

We’re still getting to know each other, I didn’t know him that well.

Paolo, you can’t look after yourself, how can you take care of a boy?

Think about it!

What if this was my last chance?

Look at me, I’m growing old, my hair is falling out.

Your hair is greasy as usual!

Your hair has nothing to do with this.

If you keep on like this,

the only place you are headed to is the graveyard with a heart attack!

It’s just for a while,

if it doesn’t work, he’ll go back to the home.

Look me in the eyes.

You’re up to something.

Yes, sir.

Look at him.

Unbelievable!

What do you think I could do with a retarded boy?

Come on, Gustino!

Have some faith in me.

If you say so.

Uncle Paolo Bressan,

I don’t understand one thing in this whole story.

- What? - Why you want to keep me with you.

Why...

Because I love you.

Quiet, now.

Haven’t you heard about the rabbit? - Yes.

I thought you made it up.

No, never...

You must realize that

you’re my nephew

and I’m your uncle...

Here we are.

These are the two tickets:

departure from Trieste, arrival in Glasgow.

And return.

These are your seats.

I think this is it.

Hi.

Oh, hi!

- Blondie, no Yugo language with me. - We were introducing each other.

What were you doing in a travel agency? Don’t tell me you are travelling?

Uncle wants to escort me to Scotland.

He learned Italian from the two books his grandma had at home...

"Bolts on Isonzo" by Giulio Previati

and "A Maiden’s Tears” by Enrico Cosulich.

Two masterpieces. Do you know them? - Two masterpieces. Do you know them?

No, sorry, never heard of them.

How sweet!

Stefania, too, is your aunt.

A sort of aunt.

Is it true he lives with you? - Yes, I keep him with me because...

Because he loves me.

Did he tell you so?

I would have never imagined... - What?

That you were capable of being responsible.

Yes, I understand.

As always you underestimated me,

but it’s not a problem.

You’ve been doing it for years, Stefania. Thank you.

Let’s go, Zagor. - Good bye.

Good bye.

Good bye.

So...

If you hit this circle here,

you treble your score.

Understand?

For instance, if you hit here where the 20 is,

you score 60, the maximum.

Understand?

Hit here, go.

Good.

Good.

But you got the bulls-eye.

You have to hit here, understand?

No!

Not the bulls-eye.

We said here,

where the 20 is.

Go on.

No!

Listen carefully:

your uncle isn’t rich,

he cannot keep you.

You must help him out.

Or you know what will happen? - I’ll go back to the home.

- And you don’t want to? - No.

If you can hit the bulls-eye, why can’t you hit the wedge?

What’s the difference? - None, Uncle Paolo Bressan,

it’s undisputed.

But grandma Anja Kovac taught me only to hit the bulls-eye.

Grandma Anja Kovac is dead,

perished, gone.

Kaput!

But you are not alone.

When you throw a dart, I’m with you.

This hand isn’t only your hand,

it’s my hand, too.

It’s the hand of poor grandma Anna Kovac,

the hand of your poor parents, of an entire family of peasants,

it’s the hand of God, Zagor!

Do you understand? - Yes, Uncle Paolo Bressan. Understood.

Please.

Now I’m going to work,

you stay here

and practice hitting there.

Not here, it's "verboten".

But here.

Understand?

Remember that if you don’t learn, we’re both in trouble, especially you.

Home for minors...

Good work.

Hi Clara, keep an eye on him and drink moderately.

Who?

Hi, feather fairy! - Don’t touch the hat.

Aren’t you playing any more.

Not now.

I don’t feel enough motivation.

I, too, preferred the old Terrano,

it had a sour taste.

Now they all taste the same.

Cabernet, Merlot...

They make them for young people,

who don’t understand a heck about wine.

I drank terrible wines.

Good old times.

Hi, Zoran Spazapan.

How are you? - Fine, Anita Knapp. And you?

Good.

I thought... - What?

Do you want to be my boyfriend?

It’s easy: you just have to kiss me, when we are distant you text me,

and on birthdays we exchange gifts.

What do you say?

I’ll ask an easier question: will you come and listen to me sing?

It would be my pleasure, but my uncle doesn’t allow me to go anywhere

outside this guest-house.

But your uncle isn’t here and the lady is sleeping.

If you don’t come with me,

I’ll kiss you.

Come on.

He’s an idiot, but he’s harmless, tell him he’s always right.

Tell him you like porcelain birds.

- Uncle Paolo Bressan... - Porcelain birds.

- I love to sing. - Great.

To him they are the most important thing in the world.

He keeps them in a cupboard and wants to install an alarm.

He’s such dick-head!

What would you say if I entered the Doberbò choir.

See?

All the species we have in our beloved Carso.

This is a warbler, an owl, a curlew, a capercaillie,

a hoopoe.

Do you like them? - They are beautifully crafted.

You speak very well.

My father taught me, he was my teacher.

See this?

I made it when I was more or less your age.

It took me a year to make it.

How do you youngsters say, mind-blowing?

- An epiphany. - Uh?

An epiphany.

- Careful... - Don’t worry,

it has cement fibre inside. They no longer make them like this.

They are practically unbreakable.

- Guys! Let’s toast? - Yes, yes, yes!

Alfio, Paolo...

The nice thing about ageing

is discovering that the people around you

can still surprise you.

To Paolo

and his gesture, which showed us how wrong we were about him.

- Thank you. - To Paolo!

- Zoran, aren’t you toasting with us? - Wake up, Blondie!

What are you doing?

How did that happen?

I don’t know. While toasting.

- I’m so sorry, Mr Alfio. - I believe it...

No, it doesn’t matter. It could happen to anyone.

To anyone?

Weren’t they unbreakable?

Sorry, but I can’t go on.

- What’s wrong? - I can’t go on.

Doing what?

The grey heron was a memento from my dad.

And you are both responsible.

So lunch is over and you can leave. Thank you.

- Alfio, please... - Let’s not start!

No "Alfio please..."

Lunch is over.

Stefania, please, see our guests to the door.

Let’s go, nephew.

I’m sorry, but...

I know it’s not your fault, but these things happen.

Wait.

Bye, Alfio.

THE BIBLE OF DARTS

Concentration.

This is the first rule.

You can not hold a dart with dignity if you not concentrate.

Absolute concentration:

this is the key.

Here's the Messiah.

Clear your mind from all thoughts.

You have to seek sikence

in your soul.

When you recognise the silence,

do not wait.

- Understand? - No.

The Messiah

has a secret:

he knows what he wants.

Do you know what you want? - To hit the wedge.

Good!

No!

I told you 20.

That wedge, the black one.

But why? What difference does it make to you?

OK.

Now...

we won’t move from here until either you succeed

or your tiny arm falls off your body.

I can wait until Tuesday...

Unfortunately, Uncle Paolo Bressan, in a few minutes

I’ll have to go.

What?

A friend invited me to the Doberdò choir rehearsal.

No, dear...

First you learn to play darts as I say, go on.

Don’t you understand that in a few days we are leaving for Glasgow,

for the world championship of that stuff there?

So what do you want to do?

Do you want to try a few throws? Do you want to watch the Messiah?

I would like to go the choir rehearsal.

I can practice for about 4... - Damn!

Do you think four salamis are enough to make me happy?

I must go.

No.

Don’t move from there.

- Hi. - Hi.

- What a nice surprise! - I brought some lasagna.

Thank you.

I had an argument with Alfio and went for a stroll.

I’m sorry.

- Can I come in? - Yes, sorry.

Am I disturbing you? Were you doing anything special?

We are about to go to the Doberbò choir rehearsal.

Isn’t that so, Uncle Paolo Bressan?

Yes, I want this poor boy to take part in some cultural activities.

Will you come with us, Aunt Stefania Marincic?

I’d appreciate it very much.

Very much.

Why not?

So, let’s all go to the choir!

Nephew, go and get ready.

Go.

Come on, with gusto!

Again.

Excuse me!

Excuse me, maestro, excuse me!

Something incredible just happened.

Someone who always said he hated us and our music

just came in.

He would make a fantastic baritone.

I would like to ask you a favour:

ask him to sing something with us.

Come on, Paolo.

Come on.

Paolo, it’s so great you came, you make me cry.

Sing "Il Signore delle Cime". Remember it?

- But... - Please!

How many times we sang it at work!

Don’t worry, you’re among friends.

- I don’t remember the lyrics. - Who cares, make them up.

I’ve come with my nephew.

He would like to join the choir.

You’ll like his voice,

Yugoslavian school, powerful stuff.

Didn’t you want to come? Now go and sing.

Zoran, what are you singing?

Do you know the classical version of "Oce Nas"?

How does it go?

So... Shall we try?

I dedicate this song

to my grandmother.

"Our Father

"who art in heaven..."

Bravo!

Bravo, Zoran.

Bravo, nephew!

You’ve been great.

- You are very good with Zoran. - Thank you.

I try my best.

He didn’t want to come,

I had to persuade him.

Why did you give me so much and then take it away in five minutes?

It was so long ago, Stefania.

I would have forgiven you, but you never made me feel I was

the only one you wanted by your side. - You are the only one.

You fucked my cousin,

and who knows how many other women. - Did she tell you?

She apologises every Christmas and I have to comfort her.

I have to go home. - I’ll drive you.

- No, I’d rather walk. - Stefania...

What’s the matter?

Can I take you out to dinner one night,

me and you alone?

And Zoran?

Zoran? Yes, Zoran, too, but he goes to bed early.

Promise? If you change your mind, he’ll be disappointed...

Zoran.

OK.

OK.

- Bye. - Good night.

Yes.

Will you kiss me now?

Blondie!

Let’s go.

Let’s go.

I had a nice time, I didn’t know the choir was so interesting.

Splendid.

And you sang so well.

It was splendid.

Blondie, is that the only word you can say?

Uncle Paolo Bressan...

May I ask you to pull over a minute? - You need a leak?

Say you need a leak, don't recite the Divine Comedy every time!

Better still, do a good deed... go and piss on Alfio’s trees.

Uncle Paolo Bressan!

I suggest we leave this place rather quickly.

What have you done? There was a camera?

I broke that, too.

Great, nephew!

Uncle Paolo Bressan!

Uncle Paolo Bressan, I did it! - I saw, good.

Now you’re going to shag her. Go away.

No, Uncle Paolo Bressan, I managed to hit the wedge!

Yes, the wedge...

Nine.

Four.

Double six.

How did you do it?

I tried all night and in the end I succeeded.

It’s because I’m in love.

Bravo!

Bravo!

Paolo.

Paolo.

- Hi, Alfio. - Hi.

Can you please come down a second?

Sure, be right down.

Damn.

You look handsome today.

Handsome?

Clean, I’d say.

Listen...

I wanted to tell you that I didn’t sleep last night.

Well...

We’ve gotta talk, me and you.

- About what? - What do you mean “about what”?

You know.

Alfio, we must keep our cool.

Yes, I’m very cool.

I don’t know what got into me, you know?

When?

When I lost my cool and went bananas.

What for?

For a porcelain bird.

A bird?!

If I stop a minute and think of what really counts in life,

I realise it’s relationships and people!

A bunch of people:

Stefania, my mother, my grandmother, Father Walter,

and a few others.

Come here.

The bird?!

- Hey. - Hi, Paolo.

I’ve been looking for you all morning. - Can I come in?

No.

- I’ve been... - I wanted to...

There’s no need to say it.

What?

What we were about to say.

I’ll say it anyway.

You are the most important thing I have

and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

No.

Why not?

I don’t want to, Paolo.

Yesterday night, I was confused, I made a mistake

and I want to say sorry but...

I want to stay where I am.

With that loser Alfio?

- I love that loser. - No, I don’t believe you.

That’s your problem.

Other people’s feelings don’t mean anything to you.

The problem is that the woman who should be with me, is with...

With a nut-case.

With a nut-case?!

And why is he a nut-case? - Want to know why?

Let me guess.

Because he spends his Sundays making porcelain birds?

To start with, yes.

We all have our hobbies, Paolo. You spent your Sundays drinking.

- Listen, Stefania... - No! I won’t listen to you!

I must remind you that the “nut-case” hired you

when you couldn’t find any job whatsoever.

- What job... - And who invites you over for lunch...

- He does? - Every Sunday?

He invites you because he’s kind and a “nut-case”.

Alfio is such a "nut-case" that, after 8 years, he still remembers my birthday,

my name-day, my wedding anniversary,

something you didn’t manage to do even once.

I took you on a trip for Saint Valentine’s Day!

Yes.

To watch Udinese play away.

They lost

and we slept in the car.

- Maybe we shouldn’t see each other. - Yes, it’ better.

And I think I'll file a report for the heart.

I’m not...

I broke this one!

This one!

Blondie!

I’M AT THE CHOIR, I’LL BE BACK TONIGHT. BYE, UNCLE PAOLO BRESSAN.

At the choir...

Blondie.

Come on, you have to practice.

Uncle Paolo Bressan, can’t we wait a few minutes?

Get your arse in gear, come on.

Paolo, why don’t you leave him here with us?

Because we have to go to Scotland.

Uncle, we still have four days.

Come on!

Shit, why doesn’t anyone ever

do what I say?!

Ever?!

Paolo, my friend, everything OK?

Go away, shit!

Don’t be offensive, this is our house.

Your house...

Me and him

have shit to do

and don’t have any time to waste with you idiots.

Ernesto.

Ernesto, what’s happening?

What is it?

Go back inside, monkey.

Go and sing, gorilla.

Shit! - No, that’s enough.

- Shit! - Enough!

Now stop it!

Zoran

is going to stay here

and sing with us for another half hour.

It’s you who has to leave.

You think you can abuse people?

People who sing?!

The choir makes you sick? What do you know?

You don’t have feelings.

You can only drink and...

shit all over people!

Get lost!

Let’s go.

Inside!

Go away!

Sorry,

but I just can’t do it.

It’s not that I don’t love him.

The thing is...

I wasn’t born to be with other people.

I have to stay on my own.

What do you think you will do?

I’ll recover,

get better

and then I’ll leave once and for all.

- Are you sure? - Absolutely. Why?

Your nephew loves you, Mr Bressan,

and, although I advised him against it,

he seems pretty determined.

To do what?

He wants to come back and live with you.

Would you like another trial period?

Uh?

I’m asking you just one thing:

try and drink less alcohol.

Zoran

would be very happy.

You should try hard not to overindulge in wine before 6 o’clock in the evening.

Except on Sundays.

And I want to practise darts only when I feel like it

and hit the bulls-eye I prefer.

I was forgetting...

I have another request.

I would like you to enrol

in a Slovenian language course.

That is all for now.

Is your answer "yes"?

Good, very well! I’m so happy!

If you have any problems,

this is my mobile phone number.

Mr Bressan, this is for Zoran, please.

Call me

at any time, for any problem.

Thank you.

Good.

Please, wait just a moment.

This...

is a small gift from me

to your new family.

His name is Elvis.

You know a lot about rabbits, don’t you?

Excuse me, Uncle Paolo Bressan...

Can I ask you a favour?

Stop addressing me so formally? It’s like being with my grandfather.

Don’t hesitate to call me...

Paolo.

Or, if you like, Blondie.

Yes, Paolo, I’ll try,

but I can’t guarantee anything.

I can’t see things going well.

Not well at all.

We must celebrate.

What if we go to Gustino’s and have a drink?

- Lend me your phone. - What for?

To call Doctor Vrtovec.

Tell me what we can do between now and six o’clock?

Not stupid things, good stuff, I wanna get my life back on track.

We can take the rabbit for a walk.

And you think that

taking the rabbit for a walk...

Shit, you left it in the parking lot.

Excuse my criticism, but you were carrying the cage, Uncle.

No!

Doctor Vrtovec gave it to you!

I hold you totally responsible for what happened.

You can’t hold anything because I...

Quiet!

Uncle Paolo Bressan,

you must keep quiet.

Elvis!

No!

How can you do that?

It’s a rabbit, not a cheetah! Come on!

Good God...

It’s there, there. Look!

There, there!

Run...

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