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1
00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,427
Jackie, where the
hell have you been?
2
00:00:07,451 --> 00:00:10,328
I had to ask Mark to come in
and help me wait on tables.
3
00:00:10,351 --> 00:00:11,844
And what's this?
4
00:00:11,844 --> 00:00:12,928
I'll tell you where I've been.
5
00:00:12,928 --> 00:00:15,179
I was at Thai Palace yesterday.
6
00:00:15,179 --> 00:00:16,907
They had a lottery
machine that has a drawing
7
00:00:16,931 --> 00:00:18,196
every four minutes.
8
00:00:18,221 --> 00:00:20,432
There was a line of
people out the door
9
00:00:20,431 --> 00:00:22,265
waiting to eat and gamble.
10
00:00:22,265 --> 00:00:24,100
What were you doing over there?
11
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:26,309
I thought they had a
restraining order against you.
12
00:00:26,309 --> 00:00:27,810
That's the schnitzel place.
13
00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:30,019
It's just a warning
at Thai Palace.
14
00:00:30,019 --> 00:00:31,895
So, anyway, I was looking
for a place to get a machine,
15
00:00:31,895 --> 00:00:34,980
and turns out the
closest is Ohio.
16
00:00:34,979 --> 00:00:37,272
So, I filled up the tank,
bought a bucket of chicken,
17
00:00:37,272 --> 00:00:41,317
put on a diaper, and,
uh, took a little trip.
18
00:00:41,316 --> 00:00:44,610
Okay, uh, I guess it'll draw
people when football is over,
19
00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,735
but how do winners get paid?
20
00:00:46,735 --> 00:00:48,736
Well, the small wins
I pay out of the till,
21
00:00:48,736 --> 00:00:49,986
and then for the big payouts,
22
00:00:49,986 --> 00:00:52,572
they get a diaper and
directions to Ohio.
23
00:00:56,364 --> 00:00:58,323
Hey, Ms. Glen. What
are you doing here?
24
00:00:58,323 --> 00:01:00,366
I'm picking up my lunch.
25
00:01:00,366 --> 00:01:03,201
Believe it or not, Mark,
music teachers do not fold up
26
00:01:03,201 --> 00:01:05,369
and go into the cabinet
at the end of the day.
27
00:01:05,368 --> 00:01:07,410
We eat, we sleep,
28
00:01:07,410 --> 00:01:09,912
and after a day of listening
to my students play,
29
00:01:09,912 --> 00:01:12,413
I also drink.
30
00:01:12,412 --> 00:01:13,539
Let me get your order.
31
00:01:15,914 --> 00:01:17,581
Please make sure this
order is perfect.
32
00:01:17,582 --> 00:01:19,041
It's for my music teacher.
33
00:01:19,041 --> 00:01:21,334
She also picks who gets
into the chamber orchestra,
34
00:01:21,333 --> 00:01:23,167
and I just found out
that I'm competing
35
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:24,626
for the one contrabassoon seat
36
00:01:24,627 --> 00:01:26,711
with another student
who just transferred.
37
00:01:26,710 --> 00:01:28,336
Don't worry.
38
00:01:28,337 --> 00:01:30,421
I've always been
great with teachers.
39
00:01:30,420 --> 00:01:31,713
I'll go sweet talk her.
40
00:01:34,756 --> 00:01:35,881
Here you go.
41
00:01:35,881 --> 00:01:36,965
Thank you.
42
00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:38,007
Ms. Glen, right?
43
00:01:38,007 --> 00:01:39,258
Yeah.
44
00:01:39,258 --> 00:01:41,342
I have heard so much about you.
45
00:01:41,342 --> 00:01:43,343
Mark speaks very highly of you.
46
00:01:43,343 --> 00:01:45,094
Does he?
47
00:01:45,094 --> 00:01:46,974
I'm surprised, because
I'm really not that nice.
48
00:01:48,345 --> 00:01:50,513
A lot of teachers try to make
friends with their students,
49
00:01:50,513 --> 00:01:53,641
but then it's hard when you
have to crush their dreams.
50
00:01:55,224 --> 00:01:57,058
Would you like extra
ketchup packets?
51
00:01:57,058 --> 00:01:58,392
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
52
00:01:58,392 --> 00:02:00,518
Supply chain problems.
53
00:02:00,518 --> 00:02:01,518
Packet shortage.
54
00:02:01,518 --> 00:02:03,102
If she wants extra ketchup,
55
00:02:03,102 --> 00:02:07,564
then she's welcome to
squirt some into a napkin.
56
00:02:07,563 --> 00:02:09,230
Jackie Harris. Oh, my God.
57
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:10,814
Holland Glen.
58
00:02:10,814 --> 00:02:12,314
Mark, remember I told
you I was a rifle twirler
59
00:02:12,314 --> 00:02:13,731
for the color guard?
60
00:02:13,731 --> 00:02:15,858
Well, Holland marched
right next to me.
61
00:02:15,858 --> 00:02:17,650
She was the drum major.
62
00:02:17,650 --> 00:02:21,236
Well, now, isn't this fun?
63
00:02:21,235 --> 00:02:22,277
Hey, Ms. Glen.
64
00:02:22,278 --> 00:02:25,238
So you two know each other?
65
00:02:25,237 --> 00:02:27,071
Yes, we do.
66
00:02:27,071 --> 00:02:30,323
Hey, Jackie, why don't you
throw in a slice of apple pie
67
00:02:30,322 --> 00:02:33,449
on the house for your old
friend, Ms. Glen, huh?
68
00:02:33,448 --> 00:02:35,616
That's not a bribe
because Mark's trying
69
00:02:35,616 --> 00:02:38,160
to get into the
chamber seat, is it?
70
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:39,660
What? [ Chuckles
] Of course not.
71
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:40,953
That's ridiculous.
72
00:02:43,287 --> 00:02:44,912
We're out of pie.
73
00:02:44,912 --> 00:02:46,037
Would you like a
no-strings-attached
74
00:02:46,037 --> 00:02:47,121
piece of cake instead?
75
00:02:47,122 --> 00:02:48,706
No, thank you.
76
00:02:48,706 --> 00:02:52,709
I-I-I don't want to be beholden
to Jackie Harris for anything.
77
00:02:52,708 --> 00:02:55,459
She hit me in the
head with her rifle.
78
00:02:55,458 --> 00:02:58,961
That... That was a very
unfortunate accident.
79
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,544
No. It was because you were
80
00:03:00,544 --> 00:03:02,670
an attention-deprived so-and-so,
81
00:03:02,670 --> 00:03:04,921
always trying to show me up.
82
00:03:04,921 --> 00:03:07,089
I'm spinning my drum,
twirling my sticks,
83
00:03:07,089 --> 00:03:09,048
and you tried to outdo
me by flipping your rifle
84
00:03:09,048 --> 00:03:10,215
20 feet in the air.
85
00:03:10,215 --> 00:03:11,215
Not true!
86
00:03:11,215 --> 00:03:12,508
True, true, true!
87
00:03:14,092 --> 00:03:15,843
And then you missed
it when it came down.
88
00:03:15,843 --> 00:03:17,594
It grazed my head,
bounced off my drum,
89
00:03:17,594 --> 00:03:20,053
and took out the flag girl!
90
00:03:20,052 --> 00:03:22,721
She was an exchange
student from Uruguay.
91
00:03:22,721 --> 00:03:27,099
Damn near set off a civil
war in the Model UN.
92
00:03:27,098 --> 00:03:29,057
Look, look, it
was... [ Sighs ]
93
00:03:29,056 --> 00:03:30,016
It was a very breezy day,
94
00:03:30,017 --> 00:03:31,641
the rifle got caught
up in the wind.
95
00:03:31,641 --> 00:03:33,434
I still write to Josefina.
96
00:03:33,434 --> 00:03:35,059
She's forgotten all about it.
97
00:03:35,059 --> 00:03:37,145
That's 'cause you
gave her a concussion!
98
00:03:40,645 --> 00:03:42,855
Has anyone ever met a
member of the Conner family
99
00:03:42,855 --> 00:03:43,855
and liked them?
100
00:03:43,855 --> 00:03:45,647
It was the wind!
101
00:03:45,647 --> 00:03:48,024
You and your stupid rifle.
102
00:03:48,024 --> 00:03:50,025
Mark has been practicing
the contrabassoon
103
00:03:50,025 --> 00:03:52,943
for a year and half to get
a seat on the orchestra,
104
00:03:52,942 --> 00:03:55,277
and we have had to endure
that horrible racket
105
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:57,446
day in and day out.
106
00:04:00,404 --> 00:04:02,113
It's a very
difficult instrument.
107
00:04:02,113 --> 00:04:03,781
You play it beautifully.
108
00:04:05,865 --> 00:04:07,908
Look, I just hope she
doesn't hold it against Mark
109
00:04:07,908 --> 00:04:09,116
that she's upset with you.
110
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:10,950
He needs that seat
on his transcript
111
00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:13,035
to have any shot at
a music scholarship.
112
00:04:13,035 --> 00:04:14,535
Okay. Yeah, this
is our only chance
113
00:04:14,535 --> 00:04:15,702
to be able to afford
a good college.
114
00:04:15,703 --> 00:04:16,828
Okay!
115
00:04:16,828 --> 00:04:18,162
How was I supposed to
know that something I did
116
00:04:18,162 --> 00:04:21,414
40 years ago was gonna
bite Mark in the ass?
117
00:04:21,413 --> 00:04:23,539
Because the Conners are
the founding fathers
118
00:04:23,539 --> 00:04:25,457
of generational failure.
119
00:04:25,457 --> 00:04:27,791
Some Conner way back
when discovered the wheel
120
00:04:27,791 --> 00:04:30,835
and traded it in
for the first beer.
121
00:04:30,834 --> 00:04:33,878
Captions by VITAC...
122
00:04:33,877 --> 00:04:40,007
??
123
00:04:40,005 --> 00:04:46,135
??
124
00:04:46,133 --> 00:04:52,305
??
125
00:04:52,302 --> 00:04:54,386
Carrying this thing
is killing me.
126
00:04:54,386 --> 00:04:56,763
Ugh!
127
00:04:56,763 --> 00:05:00,057
Uh, it might seem like a pain
lugging that thing around,
128
00:05:00,056 --> 00:05:01,681
but you're never gonna
get that chiseled
129
00:05:01,681 --> 00:05:04,893
summer contrabassoon bod
unless you put in the work.
130
00:05:06,266 --> 00:05:08,184
Ben, you're coming
to the recital, too?
131
00:05:08,184 --> 00:05:09,976
Of course I am.
132
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,561
He's, uh, never heard you
play with other musicians,
133
00:05:12,561 --> 00:05:13,853
and this is your
last performance
134
00:05:13,853 --> 00:05:15,562
before Ms. Glen
chooses the orchestra.
135
00:05:15,562 --> 00:05:17,438
We gotta cheer you on. Yeah.
136
00:05:17,438 --> 00:05:19,522
This is a big deal.
137
00:05:19,522 --> 00:05:23,025
You're playing the post
office bicentennial.
138
00:05:23,024 --> 00:05:26,777
We're celebrating 200 years
of stealing indigenous land
139
00:05:26,776 --> 00:05:28,526
and turning it into
a delivery system
140
00:05:28,526 --> 00:05:31,195
for aluminum siding coupons.
141
00:05:31,195 --> 00:05:33,154
Yes, but they are making amends
142
00:05:33,153 --> 00:05:34,737
by giving everyone who attends
143
00:05:34,738 --> 00:05:36,489
a small book of forever stamps
144
00:05:36,489 --> 00:05:38,573
honoring the life and times
of the "Peanuts" characters.
145
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,031
[ Chuckles ]
146
00:05:40,032 --> 00:05:42,075
I am such a Lucy.
147
00:05:42,074 --> 00:05:43,741
Hm.
148
00:05:43,742 --> 00:05:46,494
I'm more of a
Peppermint Patty guy.
149
00:05:46,493 --> 00:05:48,786
She wears sandals in winter.
150
00:05:48,786 --> 00:05:49,786
Love that.
151
00:05:51,703 --> 00:05:54,330
Hey, uh, listen, I'm
feeling a little better,
152
00:05:54,330 --> 00:05:56,456
so I can pick Beverly
Rose up from school
153
00:05:56,455 --> 00:05:57,830
and watch her
tonight, if you want.
154
00:05:57,831 --> 00:05:59,874
Aww, that's very sweet.
155
00:05:59,874 --> 00:06:02,960
But I've decided to stop
burdening the family.
156
00:06:02,959 --> 00:06:05,502
I'm gonna bite the bullet
and hire a babysitter.
157
00:06:05,501 --> 00:06:07,252
They're just so
damn expensive now.
158
00:06:07,252 --> 00:06:09,503
They're like 10 bucks an hour.
159
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:10,920
What happened to the days
where you just got paid
160
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:14,631
in Twinkies and rides
home with a hot dad?
161
00:06:14,630 --> 00:06:16,881
Maybe you'll hit the jackpot
on the new lottery machine
162
00:06:16,881 --> 00:06:18,131
at The Lunch Box.
163
00:06:18,131 --> 00:06:19,757
I played and I won 20 bucks.
164
00:06:19,758 --> 00:06:21,801
I don't know. You
need money to gamble.
165
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,175
Yeah, well, you never know.
166
00:06:23,176 --> 00:06:24,551
This guy at the tattoo shop
167
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,219
spent 50 bucks on
a game like that,
168
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,178
and he won 10 grand.
169
00:06:28,178 --> 00:06:29,929
Really? Yeah.
170
00:06:29,929 --> 00:06:31,972
He got calf implants
and forearm implants,
171
00:06:31,972 --> 00:06:36,016
and now he plays Popeye
on Hollywood Boulevard.
172
00:06:36,015 --> 00:06:38,393
Dreams do come true, even
if they're stupid and weird.
173
00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:43,936
??
174
00:06:43,935 --> 00:06:47,980
[ Sighs ] There are
no refreshments,
175
00:06:47,979 --> 00:06:50,230
and I forgot my
emergency Slim Jims.
176
00:06:50,230 --> 00:06:53,065
Thank you.
177
00:06:53,064 --> 00:06:55,358
Oh, unless that's
a menu, I'll pass.
178
00:06:58,692 --> 00:07:00,317
Let's find Mark's
name in the program.
179
00:07:00,317 --> 00:07:01,901
Yeah.
180
00:07:01,901 --> 00:07:03,819
Oh, look, here's that
other contrabassoon kid,
181
00:07:03,819 --> 00:07:05,528
Aiden Stokes.
182
00:07:05,528 --> 00:07:06,736
Mark is great.
183
00:07:06,736 --> 00:07:09,238
Why would they even need
two contrabassoon players?
184
00:07:09,238 --> 00:07:11,322
Well, it's like baseball.
185
00:07:11,322 --> 00:07:12,781
That guy's just a backup.
186
00:07:12,781 --> 00:07:15,241
If Mark blows too hard
and pulls his groin,
187
00:07:15,241 --> 00:07:16,659
that other kid will
take the field.
188
00:07:19,909 --> 00:07:21,910
[ Sighs ]
189
00:07:21,910 --> 00:07:24,453
Well, thank you
all for being here.
190
00:07:24,453 --> 00:07:28,957
The Lanford High music students
are very proud to help celebrate
191
00:07:28,955 --> 00:07:32,332
the bicentennial anniversary
of this post office
192
00:07:32,331 --> 00:07:36,167
with a program of
classical favorites.
193
00:07:36,166 --> 00:07:37,710
Favorites are so played out.
194
00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,585
I know most of you are here
195
00:07:41,585 --> 00:07:44,045
to collect the latest
"Peanuts" stamps.
196
00:07:44,045 --> 00:07:48,090
You know, Gershwin had to
wait 50 years to get his.
197
00:07:48,088 --> 00:07:51,007
Let's give another one to the
bald, depressed cartoon kid
198
00:07:51,007 --> 00:07:52,132
who's not even real!
199
00:07:52,132 --> 00:07:54,258
[ Laughs ]
200
00:07:54,258 --> 00:07:56,551
Enough about that.
201
00:07:56,551 --> 00:07:58,760
Now, could the 10 musicians
that I've selected
202
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:02,763
for today's performance
please come in?
203
00:08:02,761 --> 00:08:04,846
Like all of their
fellow music students
204
00:08:04,846 --> 00:08:07,431
who are here today,
these 10 young people
205
00:08:07,431 --> 00:08:10,141
are in contention
for this year's
206
00:08:10,140 --> 00:08:12,434
Lanford High chamber orchestra.
207
00:08:16,268 --> 00:08:17,893
Where's Mark?
208
00:08:17,893 --> 00:08:20,813
[ Orchestra tuning ]
209
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,232
The restaurant's all closed up.
210
00:08:30,232 --> 00:08:31,150
Here's your phone. Oh, yeah.
211
00:08:31,150 --> 00:08:32,441
Thanks. Sorry.
212
00:08:32,442 --> 00:08:33,900
I-I could've sworn
I left it here.
213
00:08:33,900 --> 00:08:37,737
You know, without my
phone as a distraction,
214
00:08:37,736 --> 00:08:40,529
I had a chance to...
215
00:08:40,528 --> 00:08:42,321
just sit here and think.
216
00:08:43,655 --> 00:08:45,281
Really?
217
00:08:45,281 --> 00:08:46,406
What were you thinking about?
218
00:08:46,406 --> 00:08:47,907
How much I miss my phone.
219
00:08:49,615 --> 00:08:51,950
It's almost 9:00.
What took you so long?
220
00:08:51,950 --> 00:08:54,577
I was cleaning up, and I
wanted to do a thorough job.
221
00:08:54,576 --> 00:08:57,911
[ Laughs ] Oh, well, there's
a red flag right there.
222
00:08:57,911 --> 00:09:00,955
You weren't playing that
lottery machine, were you?
223
00:09:00,954 --> 00:09:02,621
'Cause you were on
that thing all day.
224
00:09:02,621 --> 00:09:06,124
Hey! I was not on
that thing all day.
225
00:09:06,123 --> 00:09:08,583
Sometimes I was on my
phone, I was studying,
226
00:09:08,583 --> 00:09:10,751
I was daydreaming.
227
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,500
It's hard to avoid
work with the customers
228
00:09:12,501 --> 00:09:14,044
constantly nagging
you. Alright, alright.
229
00:09:14,044 --> 00:09:16,128
Just as long as you
don't get carried away
230
00:09:16,127 --> 00:09:17,377
playing the thing.
231
00:09:17,378 --> 00:09:18,378
Those machines
are for suckers...
232
00:09:18,378 --> 00:09:20,047
I mean our valued customers.
233
00:09:23,256 --> 00:09:24,548
How was the recital?
Darlene: [ Sighs ]
234
00:09:24,548 --> 00:09:27,300
Well, we watched
somebody else's kid
235
00:09:27,299 --> 00:09:30,092
play the contrabassoon
for two-and-a-half hours.
236
00:09:30,092 --> 00:09:31,676
Ms. Glen pulled Mark.
237
00:09:31,676 --> 00:09:33,093
Oh, darn.
238
00:09:33,093 --> 00:09:35,386
Well, I gotta go.
239
00:09:35,386 --> 00:09:37,804
No, you're not going anywhere.
240
00:09:37,803 --> 00:09:39,596
Hey, Mark, can you come down?
241
00:09:39,596 --> 00:09:42,723
I can't believe there was
another contrabassoon player.
242
00:09:42,723 --> 00:09:45,099
I didn't know there were
more losers stupid enough
243
00:09:45,098 --> 00:09:46,682
to want to play that instrument.
244
00:09:46,683 --> 00:09:49,101
Mark!
245
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,225
Is this important?
246
00:09:50,226 --> 00:09:51,602
I'm busy practicing.
247
00:09:51,602 --> 00:09:53,061
Now that the other
kid's the frontrunner,
248
00:09:53,061 --> 00:09:54,770
I gotta audition to
get my seat back.
249
00:09:54,770 --> 00:09:56,729
No, that... that's not enough.
250
00:09:56,729 --> 00:09:58,480
We've gotta do some
damage control.
251
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,731
I stayed after, and I
talked to your teacher,
252
00:10:00,731 --> 00:10:02,982
and I convinced her to come
for dinner on Tuesday night.
253
00:10:02,981 --> 00:10:04,482
Oh, God. Why?
254
00:10:04,483 --> 00:10:06,609
Because, before she
makes her final decision,
255
00:10:06,608 --> 00:10:09,234
I think she needs to know
that we are all dedicated
256
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,277
to your classical
music aspirations.
257
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,070
And Aunt Jackie's
gotta apologize to her.
258
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:14,070
Oh, God.
259
00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:15,862
Okay. I'll do it.
260
00:10:15,862 --> 00:10:17,613
But you know how many people
get hit in the head with a gun
261
00:10:17,613 --> 00:10:18,738
and don't get an apology?
262
00:10:18,739 --> 00:10:19,864
A lot.
263
00:10:19,864 --> 00:10:21,156
Wait.
264
00:10:21,156 --> 00:10:22,865
Wait, we're gonna
say this family
265
00:10:22,865 --> 00:10:25,158
is dedicated to classical music?
266
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,451
It... It won't hurt for
her to think we're a family
267
00:10:27,451 --> 00:10:29,452
that appreciates
the finer things.
268
00:10:29,452 --> 00:10:31,161
And what exactly
is gonna do that?
269
00:10:31,161 --> 00:10:32,703
The crystal chandeliers,
270
00:10:32,703 --> 00:10:34,871
the... the gold leafing
on our dinner plates,
271
00:10:34,871 --> 00:10:36,914
or Billy the Singing
Bass over the fireplace?
272
00:10:36,914 --> 00:10:38,331
O... Okay. Alright.
273
00:10:38,331 --> 00:10:41,375
I-I-I have to say something.
274
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:43,375
Anytime this family
tries to maintain
275
00:10:43,375 --> 00:10:46,877
that they have any class at
all, Billy Bass takes a hit.
276
00:10:46,876 --> 00:10:49,336
All he does is sing, wiggle
his tail a little bit.
277
00:10:49,336 --> 00:10:51,837
Suddenly, he's the
poster fish for stupid?
278
00:10:51,836 --> 00:10:54,671
I'm sorry, no!
279
00:10:54,671 --> 00:10:56,965
He makes me feel
good, and I love him!
280
00:10:58,173 --> 00:10:59,590
??
281
00:10:59,590 --> 00:11:01,383
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
282
00:11:01,383 --> 00:11:02,342
[ Machine thumps ]
283
00:11:02,342 --> 00:11:03,966
Damn it.
284
00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:05,134
Lost again.
285
00:11:05,134 --> 00:11:06,301
Okay.
286
00:11:06,301 --> 00:11:07,844
I'm done.
287
00:11:11,054 --> 00:11:12,722
Okay, one more.
288
00:11:15,847 --> 00:11:17,348
[ Door shuts ]
289
00:11:17,348 --> 00:11:18,890
Aah!
290
00:11:18,890 --> 00:11:20,557
Godfrey Daniel!
291
00:11:20,557 --> 00:11:22,266
[ Laughs ] It's midnight.
292
00:11:22,266 --> 00:11:23,600
What are you still doing here?
293
00:11:23,601 --> 00:11:25,560
Actually, uh, I
couldn't remember
294
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:28,187
whether I locked the front
door, so I ran over here.
295
00:11:28,186 --> 00:11:29,853
Um, I was just about to leave.
296
00:11:29,853 --> 00:11:31,145
What are you doing here?
297
00:11:31,145 --> 00:11:33,939
Oh, I'm still having
trouble sleeping,
298
00:11:33,939 --> 00:11:37,608
so I told Jackie I'd come in
and clean out the air ducts.
299
00:11:37,607 --> 00:11:39,858
Ah, you haven't kicked
the insomnia, huh?
300
00:11:39,858 --> 00:11:43,861
Oh, no. I've been up watching
infomercials all night.
301
00:11:43,859 --> 00:11:46,027
I got excited about
a needlepoint kit,
302
00:11:46,027 --> 00:11:48,445
and I took that
as a warning sign.
303
00:11:48,445 --> 00:11:50,196
Hey! Is that a
lottery machine?
304
00:11:50,196 --> 00:11:52,614
I saw one of those over
at the Thai Palace.
305
00:11:52,613 --> 00:11:55,156
Don't tell your
aunt I was there.
306
00:11:55,156 --> 00:11:58,158
Yeah, Jackie saw it, too,
and she got one for here.
307
00:11:58,157 --> 00:11:59,908
Mm, you been playing?
308
00:11:59,908 --> 00:12:01,826
Oh, my God, no.
309
00:12:01,826 --> 00:12:03,952
These things are for suckers.
310
00:12:03,952 --> 00:12:05,411
Must have been
our last customer.
311
00:12:05,411 --> 00:12:07,412
He also ordered the fish soup.
312
00:12:07,412 --> 00:12:08,871
Some people are just gamblers.
313
00:12:10,955 --> 00:12:12,705
So, how long are
you gonna be here?
314
00:12:12,705 --> 00:12:15,040
I'll be up in the crawl
space for about an hour.
315
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,332
Um, I got some stuff to do.
316
00:12:16,332 --> 00:12:17,707
I could wait for you.
317
00:12:17,708 --> 00:12:19,376
Are you sure?
318
00:12:19,376 --> 00:12:21,544
Shouldn't you get some sleep?
319
00:12:21,543 --> 00:12:23,962
I had statistics class
today. I got some sleep.
320
00:12:26,295 --> 00:12:27,587
Let's have a milkshake
when I'm done.
321
00:12:27,587 --> 00:12:29,131
Oh, sounds good.
322
00:12:30,174 --> 00:12:36,248
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
323
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:40,883
Come on, come on, come on.
324
00:12:42,302 --> 00:12:44,679
[ Knocking on door
] Oh, she's here.
325
00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:45,887
Let me answer it.
326
00:12:45,887 --> 00:12:47,847
Please, everyone,
try to be casual.
327
00:12:47,847 --> 00:12:50,348
Just pretend to be a
nice, ordinary family
328
00:12:50,347 --> 00:12:52,141
that had a genetic
anomaly and produced me.
329
00:12:54,683 --> 00:12:57,059
Hi, Ms. Glen. Please, come in.
330
00:12:57,059 --> 00:12:58,268
Alright, thank you. [ Ominous
orchestral music blares ]
331
00:12:58,268 --> 00:12:59,643
Ooh! Interesting choice.
332
00:12:59,643 --> 00:13:01,269
[ Volume lowers ]
333
00:13:01,269 --> 00:13:02,936
You're not planning on
murdering me, are you?
334
00:13:02,936 --> 00:13:04,186
[ Laughs ]
335
00:13:04,187 --> 00:13:05,479
No.
336
00:13:05,479 --> 00:13:07,021
No, that's just
the kind of music
337
00:13:07,021 --> 00:13:08,230
I like to listen to
338
00:13:08,230 --> 00:13:10,106
when I unwind at
the end of the day.
339
00:13:10,106 --> 00:13:14,609
Oh. [ Chuckles ] I assume
you work in a slaughterhouse?
340
00:13:14,608 --> 00:13:17,444
Honestly, our... our
mother, God rest her soul,
341
00:13:17,443 --> 00:13:18,860
encouraged us to believe
342
00:13:18,861 --> 00:13:21,154
that you don't have to be
rich to have refined taste.
343
00:13:21,153 --> 00:13:22,820
Oh, that's very true.
344
00:13:22,820 --> 00:13:23,820
And because of that,
345
00:13:23,821 --> 00:13:26,573
I'm raising my child
to have an open mind
346
00:13:26,572 --> 00:13:28,906
and not make fun of people
who like classical music,
347
00:13:28,906 --> 00:13:32,325
'cause let's face it,
it's just too easy.
348
00:13:32,324 --> 00:13:34,409
Is it?
349
00:13:34,409 --> 00:13:35,702
Come over here.
Let's find out.
350
00:13:37,577 --> 00:13:40,203
No, thank you. I will
be in the kitchen now.
351
00:13:40,203 --> 00:13:43,080
Oh, my. Look at that.
352
00:13:43,079 --> 00:13:45,122
You've got the singing
fish! [ Chuckles ]
353
00:13:45,122 --> 00:13:47,415
Does it also have refined taste,
354
00:13:47,415 --> 00:13:51,001
or does it stick to
"Take Me to the River"?
355
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,709
You know, Becky
had a great idea.
356
00:13:52,709 --> 00:13:54,229
Why don't we all go
sit in the kitchen?
357
00:14:00,254 --> 00:14:01,337
Oh. [ Sighs ]
358
00:14:01,337 --> 00:14:02,838
You're here.
359
00:14:02,838 --> 00:14:06,340
Uh, I just wanted a chance
to clear the air with you.
360
00:14:06,339 --> 00:14:08,674
Why don't we just leave
the air where it is?
361
00:14:08,674 --> 00:14:10,633
Oh, please.
362
00:14:10,633 --> 00:14:15,512
I just think that it's important
that, uh, I let you know
363
00:14:15,510 --> 00:14:19,763
that maybe I did twirl my
rifle a little higher that day.
364
00:14:19,762 --> 00:14:22,431
It's because I was
jealous of you, Holland.
365
00:14:22,430 --> 00:14:23,638
I was invisible.
366
00:14:23,639 --> 00:14:25,098
You were everybody's favorite.
367
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,516
The cool drummer girl.
368
00:14:27,515 --> 00:14:30,142
You were Karen Carpenter.
369
00:14:30,142 --> 00:14:32,018
I get that a lot.
370
00:14:32,018 --> 00:14:36,771
So, um, just wanted you to know
that I'm really very sorry.
371
00:14:36,769 --> 00:14:37,770
Thank you.
372
00:14:42,772 --> 00:14:43,981
So what?
373
00:14:43,981 --> 00:14:45,648
You were insecure
in high school.
374
00:14:45,648 --> 00:14:47,274
We all were.
375
00:14:47,274 --> 00:14:48,983
But I didn't hit
anybody with a gun.
376
00:14:48,983 --> 00:14:50,609
I take it all back.
377
00:14:50,610 --> 00:14:52,570
Jackie!
378
00:14:54,028 --> 00:14:55,695
Well, don't worry.
379
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:58,739
Jackie isn't what's gonna
affect my decision about Mark.
380
00:14:58,738 --> 00:15:00,488
But you people
trying to impress me
381
00:15:00,488 --> 00:15:03,949
that you know anything about
the music I love isn't helping.
382
00:15:03,948 --> 00:15:05,032
Okay, you're right.
383
00:15:05,033 --> 00:15:07,367
Maybe we're trying a
little bit too hard.
384
00:15:07,366 --> 00:15:09,951
But we really do
love classical music.
385
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:12,953
Come on, you're gonna
stick with that?
386
00:15:12,952 --> 00:15:14,786
Okay.
387
00:15:14,786 --> 00:15:16,078
Which do you like better...
388
00:15:16,078 --> 00:15:18,538
Beethoven's 11th
symphony or his 12th?
389
00:15:18,538 --> 00:15:20,080
Now, Mark, you know
what my favorite is,
390
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:21,874
so don't say anything.
391
00:15:22,749 --> 00:15:25,375
I think there's only nine.
392
00:15:25,374 --> 00:15:27,668
Ben, don't make us look stupid.
393
00:15:32,377 --> 00:15:33,836
I mean, 11. Yeah.
394
00:15:33,837 --> 00:15:35,254
Totally. Yeah, that's what
I was gonna say, 11. Yeah.
395
00:15:35,254 --> 00:15:38,548
Yeah. We're all
11-heads in this house.
396
00:15:38,547 --> 00:15:41,591
It's unusual, because...
397
00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:43,883
like Slaughterhouse
Joe over here,
398
00:15:43,883 --> 00:15:45,383
I've only heard nine.
399
00:15:45,383 --> 00:15:46,842
Well, you gotta listen to 11.
400
00:15:46,842 --> 00:15:49,302
He really outdid himself.
401
00:15:49,302 --> 00:15:50,928
There is no 11th.
402
00:15:50,928 --> 00:15:52,303
There are only nine.
403
00:15:52,303 --> 00:15:55,263
Well, the one I heard
must've been a bootleg.
404
00:15:55,263 --> 00:15:57,848
Okay, ass-kissing
period is over.
405
00:15:57,847 --> 00:16:01,099
Just tell me what's
really going on.
406
00:16:01,098 --> 00:16:03,433
Okay, fine.
407
00:16:03,433 --> 00:16:06,143
Look, chamber orchestra
is the only way
408
00:16:06,143 --> 00:16:08,311
that Mark has a chance
at getting a scholarship
409
00:16:08,310 --> 00:16:09,852
that could get him
into a good college,
410
00:16:09,852 --> 00:16:13,438
and we really need that.
411
00:16:13,437 --> 00:16:14,938
Okay.
412
00:16:14,939 --> 00:16:16,397
Here's the deal.
413
00:16:16,397 --> 00:16:18,607
Mark, I let Aiden
play the recital
414
00:16:18,607 --> 00:16:20,024
because I know what you can do,
415
00:16:20,024 --> 00:16:23,360
but I needed to hear
him under pressure.
416
00:16:23,359 --> 00:16:25,652
The orchestra seat
is gonna come down
417
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:29,196
to who gives the best audition.
418
00:16:29,195 --> 00:16:32,489
Thank you, and goodnight.
419
00:16:32,488 --> 00:16:33,988
Are you sure you don't
want something to eat?
420
00:16:33,988 --> 00:16:35,447
We can pack you a bag.
421
00:16:35,447 --> 00:16:37,490
No, thanks. I think
I'm just gonna stop
422
00:16:37,490 --> 00:16:39,324
at the Thai Palace
on the way home.
423
00:16:39,324 --> 00:16:40,532
I love that place.
424
00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:41,950
Whoa.
425
00:16:41,951 --> 00:16:43,911
??
426
00:16:46,744 --> 00:16:48,745
??
427
00:16:48,745 --> 00:16:50,746
Hey.
428
00:16:50,746 --> 00:16:52,163
Hey!
429
00:16:52,163 --> 00:16:54,581
Uh, are you still
working on the air ducts?
430
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:57,208
'Cause I just came... Save it.
431
00:16:57,207 --> 00:16:59,750
I heard you took off
right after dinner,
432
00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:02,168
and I had a feeling this
is where you were going.
433
00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:03,918
Oh. [ Scoffs ]
I'm a grown woman.
434
00:17:03,918 --> 00:17:05,418
I don't have to
stay after dinner.
435
00:17:05,419 --> 00:17:07,295
I moved out of your
house when I was 47.
436
00:17:07,295 --> 00:17:10,256
I'm on my own now.
437
00:17:10,255 --> 00:17:13,382
So, where do I look for
the losing lottery tickets?
438
00:17:13,381 --> 00:17:15,006
In the trash can?
In your purse?
439
00:17:15,006 --> 00:17:15,757
How you wanna do this?
440
00:17:15,758 --> 00:17:17,549
Oh, come on, Dad.
441
00:17:17,549 --> 00:17:19,425
This isn't a big deal.
442
00:17:19,425 --> 00:17:21,134
I'm just trying to get a
little financial independence
443
00:17:21,134 --> 00:17:22,718
from the family.
444
00:17:22,718 --> 00:17:24,511
How much are you down?
445
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:25,511
A couple bucks.
446
00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:26,929
I'm gonna ask you one more time.
447
00:17:31,472 --> 00:17:32,764
I'm down a paycheck.
448
00:17:32,764 --> 00:17:35,391
Damn it, Becky.
449
00:17:35,391 --> 00:17:37,559
Other people can do this.
450
00:17:37,559 --> 00:17:40,644
They can lose and then
walk away, but you can't.
451
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:44,354
You've got a history of
starting things you can't stop.
452
00:17:44,353 --> 00:17:47,021
Now, it's great that you
don't want to rely on us,
453
00:17:47,020 --> 00:17:49,063
but you're gonna
rely on us a lot more
454
00:17:49,063 --> 00:17:50,981
if you lose all your money.
455
00:17:50,981 --> 00:17:56,068
Uh, this one kind
of snuck up on me.
456
00:17:56,066 --> 00:17:58,234
I guess I just got
hooked on the hope
457
00:17:58,234 --> 00:18:00,485
that I could make
a couple big hits
458
00:18:00,485 --> 00:18:03,362
and... and finally get ahead.
459
00:18:03,361 --> 00:18:05,654
You think you can work
here with this thing?
460
00:18:05,654 --> 00:18:06,821
I don't know.
461
00:18:06,821 --> 00:18:08,196
I don't think Jackie's
gonna want to get rid of it.
462
00:18:08,197 --> 00:18:09,197
Yeah.
463
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:13,075
It's a shame it got stolen.
464
00:18:14,866 --> 00:18:17,493
[ Playing "Ode to Joy" ]
465
00:18:17,493 --> 00:18:25,493
??
466
00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:28,414
You've grown a lot.
467
00:18:28,414 --> 00:18:31,332
I know. I've had a freakish
growth spurt this year,
468
00:18:31,332 --> 00:18:32,749
and I'm worried
it's never gonna end
469
00:18:32,749 --> 00:18:33,833
and they're gonna have to build
470
00:18:33,833 --> 00:18:35,293
a special house
for me and then...
471
00:18:37,002 --> 00:18:39,461
I'm not talking about that.
472
00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:42,713
Aiden Stokes is not
better than you.
473
00:18:42,713 --> 00:18:43,713
Thank you.
474
00:18:43,713 --> 00:18:45,255
But you're not better than him.
475
00:18:45,255 --> 00:18:48,382
You're equally proficient.
476
00:18:48,381 --> 00:18:50,549
But I'm giving
the seat to Aiden.
477
00:18:50,549 --> 00:18:51,966
Why?
478
00:18:51,966 --> 00:18:54,092
Y-You said yourself
he's not better than me,
479
00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:56,468
and I-I was here first.
480
00:18:56,468 --> 00:19:00,597
Yes. But for him, it's about
his love of the instrument.
481
00:19:00,596 --> 00:19:03,514
Music is his life.
482
00:19:03,513 --> 00:19:04,888
You're a smart young man
483
00:19:04,888 --> 00:19:06,681
who just needs to
get to college,
484
00:19:06,681 --> 00:19:08,640
and you found a loophole
485
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,434
you thought you could
squeeze through.
486
00:19:11,434 --> 00:19:15,020
I'm not in the
loophole business.
487
00:19:15,019 --> 00:19:18,646
But... But I need
to get to college.
488
00:19:18,645 --> 00:19:22,023
Now you're just... you're just
taking away my whole future.
489
00:19:22,022 --> 00:19:24,523
I'm not taking away your future.
490
00:19:24,522 --> 00:19:27,232
I'm giving Aiden
the one he deserves.
491
00:19:27,232 --> 00:19:29,233
I am underfunded,
underappreciated,
492
00:19:29,233 --> 00:19:33,361
but I am determined to give
dedicated young musicians
493
00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:36,695
a chance they are not
gonna get anywhere else.
494
00:19:36,694 --> 00:19:39,154
You? You're gonna
figure this out.
495
00:19:39,154 --> 00:19:43,407
I've never seen a kid as
smart as you not find a way.
496
00:19:43,406 --> 00:19:46,283
Thanks.
497
00:19:46,282 --> 00:19:48,158
If I knew I was
gonna get screwed,
498
00:19:48,158 --> 00:19:50,075
I would have done all
this with a piccolo.
499
00:19:50,075 --> 00:19:52,410
??
500
00:19:52,410 --> 00:19:53,494
[ Door opens ]
501
00:19:54,785 --> 00:19:56,620
Oh, there he is.
502
00:19:56,620 --> 00:19:58,663
Okay, so, how'd it go?
503
00:20:00,288 --> 00:20:01,872
The way we hoped it would.
504
00:20:01,872 --> 00:20:02,872
Aiden didn't stand a chance.
505
00:20:02,873 --> 00:20:04,457
I got the seat. Way to go!
506
00:20:04,457 --> 00:20:06,333
Oh! Thank God!
507
00:20:06,333 --> 00:20:07,916
Yes!
508
00:20:07,916 --> 00:20:09,667
So, when is the first concert?
509
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:14,171
Muffy and Biff will simply
be dying to know at the club.
510
00:20:14,170 --> 00:20:15,253
No concerts right now.
511
00:20:15,253 --> 00:20:16,795
I'll let you know when.
512
00:20:16,795 --> 00:20:18,254
Uh, okay, 'cause
you know the Conners
513
00:20:18,254 --> 00:20:19,713
are gonna be there front row.
514
00:20:19,714 --> 00:20:21,214
I'll make sure
everybody wears shoes.
515
00:20:21,214 --> 00:20:22,854
Hey, you know what?
I'm gonna go tell Ben.
516
00:20:28,051 --> 00:20:31,678
You just lied to
Mom, didn't you?
517
00:20:31,677 --> 00:20:33,094
I-I couldn't tell her.
518
00:20:33,094 --> 00:20:34,553
She's got so much on
her plate right now,
519
00:20:34,553 --> 00:20:37,305
I don't want her worrying about
how to pay for college too.
520
00:20:37,305 --> 00:20:39,348
Man, I-I really thought
this was the way
521
00:20:39,348 --> 00:20:41,974
I was gonna get into a
four-year university.
522
00:20:41,973 --> 00:20:44,391
Now I gotta figure
out something else.
523
00:20:44,391 --> 00:20:46,142
But you better
figure something out,
524
00:20:46,142 --> 00:20:47,309
because it's gonna
be pretty obvious
525
00:20:47,309 --> 00:20:48,809
you didn't get into college
526
00:20:48,809 --> 00:20:50,769
when we pack up your shower
caddy and your mattress pad
527
00:20:50,769 --> 00:20:52,437
and drop you off in
a field somewhere.
528
00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:59,190
What do you think?
I'm almost done.
529
00:20:59,190 --> 00:21:02,984
"I'm not a hot mess.
I'm a spicy disaster."
530
00:21:02,983 --> 00:21:05,026
It's you! [ Laughs ]
531
00:21:05,025 --> 00:21:07,318
How's yours coming?
532
00:21:07,318 --> 00:21:09,694
"I'd rather be gambling."
533
00:21:09,694 --> 00:21:12,696
I think you're missing the
point of this exercise.
534
00:21:12,695 --> 00:21:14,071
[ Laughs ]
535
00:21:14,071 --> 00:21:16,572
I'm also working
on this bigger one.
536
00:21:16,572 --> 00:21:18,365
"I tried to be normal once.
537
00:21:18,365 --> 00:21:20,575
Worst two minutes of my life."
538
00:21:21,783 --> 00:21:23,700
You know what's
great about that?
539
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:26,410
It'd be a perfect gift
for anyone in this family.
540
00:21:27,122 --> 00:21:28,122
[ Laughs ]
541
00:21:28,172 --> 00:21:32,722
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