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1
00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:04,198
Dr. Reid, I know yoga is supposed
to be good for pregnant women,
2
00:00:04,238 --> 00:00:06,138
but are you sure this is okay?
3
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:08,903
It looks like that baby
could squirt out any second.
4
00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:12,845
Lucy, I'm fine. Besides,
I would never give birth under a tree.
5
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,815
Although J.D. And I
did conceive this baby under one.
6
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:19,308
It was a Christmas tree.
Not in our house. It was still on the lot.
7
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:22,015
We made a bunch of Christians
uncomfortable that day.
8
00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:26,584
- I once got felt up in a pumpkin patch.
- Don't you just love the holidays?
9
00:00:26,994 --> 00:00:29,428
It's so nice having someone to talk to.
10
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,624
I feel like I can't go
to the other med students.
11
00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:35,123
It's gotten so cutthroat.
People will do anything to get ahead.
12
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:40,265
Lost got canceled
and they're never gonna air the finale?
13
00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:43,765
So many questions.
Hey, good luck on the test, bro.
14
00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:49,107
Even Drew's been acting
like a gunner recently.
15
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,946
Drew, can I borrow
your histology notes?
16
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:54,619
Roger, no. Nothing personal,
17
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:57,146
I just don't want to help you
half-ass your way through med school
18
00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:58,522
and keep you from your true destiny,
19
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,220
which is to become
the second-best dentist
20
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:03,025
at a run-down strip mall. You get it.
21
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:08,134
I was a gunner for a while
when I was in med school.
22
00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:09,830
Once I set my roommate Lauren's
books on fire
23
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,168
so she couldn't study.
Turns out I'd loaned her mine,
24
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,766
so I actually had to buy
a whole new set, which she then stole.
25
00:01:14,809 --> 00:01:17,869
Still, in the end I won
because she got hit by a truck.
26
00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:19,402
I mean, she didn't die,
27
00:01:19,447 --> 00:01:22,507
but she is not smart enough
to be a doctor anymore.
28
00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:24,040
Is she happy?
29
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,409
- Oh, she's very happy.
- Good.
30
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:29,347
Now, to recap,
31
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:33,019
what is the number-one attribute
all med students share
32
00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:34,823
with this skeleton?
33
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:36,520
Yes.
34
00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,692
The hollow area of nothingness
inside the skull?
35
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:42,998
Exactly. Now, it is time
for a boring announcement
36
00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:45,972
about a pointless tradition
brought to you by an empty figurehead
37
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:48,998
with a failing liver
and an overactive libido.
38
00:01:49,043 --> 00:01:52,137
Thank you, Perry,
you anger-filled muscle slut.
39
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,904
- I miss this.
- Yeah, me, too.
40
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,144
Kills me that we're friends now.
41
00:01:57,184 --> 00:02:01,678
All right. As you know, Friday
is the annual White Coat Ceremony.
42
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:05,982
In front of your family and friends,
you will receive your lab coats,
43
00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:09,325
a symbol of your entree
into the world of medicine.
44
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:12,625
- These doctors' coats...
- Murderers' coats, Bob.
45
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,332
Because they are all murderers.
46
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:19,569
Anyhoo, the faculty will be choosing
a keynote speaker
47
00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:22,041
to represent the entire first-year class.
48
00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:23,839
And as part
of this meaningless charade,
49
00:02:23,878 --> 00:02:26,676
Winston University requires
that each of you sit with me,
50
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:30,445
the Chief of Medicine, for an
irrelevant pre-ceremony interview.
51
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:34,682
A quick sidebar, Perry?
Can I do the interview
52
00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:37,555
with that little number
in the second row?
53
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:40,025
She said I reminded her
of her grandpa,
54
00:02:40,060 --> 00:02:43,461
and I think I could use that
to at least get her top off.
55
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:46,955
- You're a hell of an educator, Bob.
- I do it for them.
56
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:54,301
- So, you ready for your interview?
- So ready.
57
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:57,808
I can answer any questions
about our classes, about the hospital,
58
00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,143
I even took the time
to memorize personal facts
59
00:03:00,181 --> 00:03:02,945
about each of my professors,
so bring it.
60
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,511
Well, there's really only one question.
61
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,883
Why do you want to be a doctor?
62
00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:09,720
You've never been to Maine
63
00:03:09,757 --> 00:03:12,385
and you were college roommates
with Michael Bolton.
64
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:16,254
Yes, and the latter
fuels most of my anger.
65
00:03:16,931 --> 00:03:18,626
I'd like you to come back
with a better answer,
66
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,759
and if you find you can't come up
with a better answer,
67
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:23,065
then please know I'm going to make it
my personal mission
68
00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:25,298
to drum you out of this med school.
69
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:28,467
But you said this was just
a meaningless charade.
70
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:31,000
Not for you. Get out.
71
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,369
Stupid Michael Bolton.
72
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,575
- Hey, buddy.
- Not your buddy.
73
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:41,087
- Whatevs, bra.
- Also not your bro.
74
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,379
Once again, it's you versus me.
75
00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:46,518
Smarts versus nepotism
for the keynote speaker.
76
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,754
- Let the battle begin.
- There's no battle.
77
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:52,624
This is something I want,
so I'm gonna crush you.
78
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:56,067
Yeah, well, good luck,
'cause I got skills. Check it.
79
00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:59,032
Swish.
80
00:04:02,243 --> 00:04:05,735
Hey, Drew. You know how we get hot
over gross and disgusting things?
81
00:04:05,779 --> 00:04:08,714
Yes, and hello, Dr. Reid,
who I barely know.
82
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,713
- 'Sup, freak?
- Hi.
83
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:14,414
Anyway, check it out.
Mr. Warshal passed his kidney stone.
84
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:15,815
That's hot.
85
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,654
FYI, that's like passing a bowling ball
through a straw.
86
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:20,353
They say it's actually a lot
like giving birth.
87
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:23,090
Super-pumped, by the way.
Super-pumped.
88
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:25,629
So, I'm taking you to dinner tonight.
89
00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:28,066
Did you bring anything less bloody
to change into?
90
00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:30,127
- Why?
- I don't know. It's a nice place.
91
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,161
Wouldn't kill you to dress up
once in a while.
92
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:33,966
Pretty girl.
93
00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:37,671
- You're a pretty girl.
- I am a pretty girl.
94
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,137
Okay, guys. So, nine years ago,
95
00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:42,978
Joseph was my first
appendectomy patient.
96
00:04:43,017 --> 00:04:45,144
Since then,
some scar tissue has formed,
97
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:47,210
so we're gonna clear that right up.
98
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:49,484
Joseph, my old friend,
we'll take care of you,
99
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:52,356
but first you gotta give me what I need.
100
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:59,324
Brother speaks French!
That's a bromance language, y'all!
101
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,730
Anyway, it says here
that we're delaying surgery
102
00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:04,966
due to topical irritation
near the incision site.
103
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:08,500
If you guys'll excuse me for a second,
that would be great.
104
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:11,568
Dude's a goner. I see it in his eyes.
105
00:05:12,146 --> 00:05:15,013
He's Haitian.
It's a poisonwood-berry burn.
106
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:17,706
- How do you know?
- Trust me, I know.
107
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:19,343
Boy George, if you're right,
108
00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:22,321
you could seal the deal
for keynote speaker.
109
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:23,448
Too little too late.
110
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,323
My fam just donated
another MRI thingy.
111
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:31,128
Joseph, we're gonna solve this puzzle,
and in thanks, you'll say...
112
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:34,225
- Merci beaucoup.
- Merci beaucoup!
113
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:36,768
Incredible.
114
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:38,364
- Dr. Turk.
- Yes.
115
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:40,532
I think I know what's wrong.
116
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,974
It's a reaction
to the acidic black poisonwood berry.
117
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,102
They're common
on Joseph's home island...
118
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:47,636
Home island of Haiti.
Damn, I was just going to say that.
119
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:51,549
Keep it up, Drew. Catches like this
could save someone's life.
120
00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:58,756
Dr. Cox,
I know why I want to be a doctor.
121
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:00,559
I want to use my experience
122
00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:03,290
to make the kind of catches
that save lives.
123
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:06,822
- To give people a chance to live...
- Hold that thought.
124
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,603
Time of death, 4:23 p.m.
125
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,935
Oh! I'm very...
126
00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,907
His middle name is Ulysses.
127
00:06:46,235 --> 00:06:48,669
- 'Sup, homes?
- Don't call me "homes."
128
00:06:48,704 --> 00:06:51,639
Actually, I like homes. I'll allow it.
What are you doing?
129
00:06:51,674 --> 00:06:53,073
Just surfing the Web,
130
00:06:53,109 --> 00:06:56,510
watching old White Coat speeches,
cherry-picking the best parts for mine.
131
00:06:56,579 --> 00:06:57,910
Solid plan.
132
00:06:57,947 --> 00:07:01,508
Hey, Drew, turns out you were right
about the Haitian berry reaction.
133
00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:05,452
I guess your diagnosis wasn't "rash"
after all.
134
00:07:07,757 --> 00:07:10,590
See, J.D.,
I told you they wouldn't laugh!
135
00:07:15,331 --> 00:07:18,357
Genius, man. You lay low at first,
136
00:07:18,401 --> 00:07:22,667
then the White Coat thing comes up,
and boom, you turn into a gunner.
137
00:07:22,905 --> 00:07:25,567
- What? I'm not a gunner.
- Please.
138
00:07:25,608 --> 00:07:27,269
Always got the right answer.
139
00:07:27,310 --> 00:07:30,336
Being all helpful
with that island-berry dude.
140
00:07:30,579 --> 00:07:35,414
- Dude, we are exactly the same.
- We are not the same.
141
00:07:35,851 --> 00:07:38,081
You're a selfish, petty child
142
00:07:38,254 --> 00:07:40,916
who would screw over anybody
to get ahead.
143
00:07:40,957 --> 00:07:42,584
Like you did with Roger?
144
00:07:42,625 --> 00:07:46,618
...the second-best dentist
at a run-down strip mall. You get it.
145
00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:54,998
I followed him.
He called his folks, crying.
146
00:07:55,771 --> 00:07:57,329
It was awesome.
147
00:07:58,407 --> 00:08:01,342
Yeah, it's like looking
in a mirror, homes.
148
00:08:07,750 --> 00:08:09,012
Dr. Cox.
149
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,912
I've done some soul-searching
and I have a new answer.
150
00:08:13,956 --> 00:08:18,120
Let me prep for the verbal brilliance
that is surely headed my way.
151
00:08:19,095 --> 00:08:22,155
- Ha. Proceed.
- I want to become a doctor
152
00:08:22,198 --> 00:08:24,792
so I can help people
who can't help themselves.
153
00:08:24,834 --> 00:08:26,665
- Lame.
- When my grandmother was ill...
154
00:08:26,702 --> 00:08:27,726
Boo!
155
00:08:27,770 --> 00:08:29,203
See, Dr. Quinn
was a medicine woman...
156
00:08:29,238 --> 00:08:33,106
Stop. Now, this is when
I would normally launch into a rant,
157
00:08:33,275 --> 00:08:35,038
but I've already told you
what the consequences are
158
00:08:35,077 --> 00:08:36,908
if you don't come up
with an acceptable answer
159
00:08:36,946 --> 00:08:38,277
prior to the ceremony.
160
00:08:38,314 --> 00:08:40,805
Right now,
you've got four strikes on you,
161
00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:44,183
and even in the adjusted,
Lucy Bennett five-strike system
162
00:08:44,220 --> 00:08:45,414
that I recently established
163
00:08:45,454 --> 00:08:47,251
to accommodate
all major underachievers...
164
00:08:47,323 --> 00:08:48,620
Go ahead and take a second
and be happy
165
00:08:48,657 --> 00:08:50,386
that something was named after you.
166
00:08:50,426 --> 00:08:53,554
...you still need to come up
with something better.
167
00:08:53,729 --> 00:08:56,926
One more pathetic cliched answer
and you're gone.
168
00:08:57,767 --> 00:08:59,758
That was kind of a rant.
169
00:09:01,137 --> 00:09:04,106
Hey, why did you guys
want to become doctors?
170
00:09:04,507 --> 00:09:08,136
I actually didn't want to be a doctor.
I wanted to be a gymnast.
171
00:09:08,177 --> 00:09:10,407
But I was chesty for my age
and I had no balance,
172
00:09:10,479 --> 00:09:11,571
because when I was nine
173
00:09:11,614 --> 00:09:14,276
my cousin jammed a piece
of uncooked pasta in my ear.
174
00:09:14,316 --> 00:09:15,783
So the first time I went
on the balance beam,
175
00:09:15,818 --> 00:09:18,286
I fell off and broke my bajingo bone,
176
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,812
so, really, I became a doctor
because my parents made me.
177
00:09:23,092 --> 00:09:25,959
- How about you, Dr. Mahoney?
- I like scabs.
178
00:09:27,496 --> 00:09:30,659
Hey, Drew, want to come over tonight
and watch one of those survival shows
179
00:09:30,699 --> 00:09:34,795
- and root for the guy to die?
- Tonight's not a good night, Denise.
180
00:09:39,675 --> 00:09:41,199
- Hey, work buddy.
- Hey.
181
00:09:41,243 --> 00:09:43,768
- You have a sec?
- Yeah. What do you want to do?
182
00:09:43,813 --> 00:09:45,178
You want to play a quick
Hide the Saltine?
183
00:09:45,214 --> 00:09:47,239
Maybe Giant Black Doctor?
184
00:09:47,583 --> 00:09:49,551
Damn, those never sounded dirty
with J.D.
185
00:09:49,585 --> 00:09:50,916
- Yes, they did.
- Oh.
186
00:09:50,953 --> 00:09:53,751
Actually, I was hoping
I could get a little advice.
187
00:09:53,789 --> 00:09:56,053
Tell mama your problems, baby.
188
00:09:56,592 --> 00:09:59,186
I'm having relationship issues
with Drew.
189
00:09:59,228 --> 00:10:01,492
- I know...
...just what to do.
190
00:10:01,831 --> 00:10:03,389
Great! I'm out!
191
00:10:03,499 --> 00:10:05,967
Okay, so he made a comment
about wanting you to look nice,
192
00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:07,593
and then you blew him off
and mocked him.
193
00:10:07,636 --> 00:10:10,298
- Yeah. Called him a girl.
- Well, fantastic. Okay.
194
00:10:10,339 --> 00:10:12,136
Does Drew ever do
anything nice for you?
195
00:10:12,174 --> 00:10:14,734
- Yeah, all the time.
- And do you ever do anything for him?
196
00:10:14,777 --> 00:10:17,007
Oh, no.
Who wants to travel down that road?
197
00:10:17,046 --> 00:10:18,843
Denise, like it or not,
you're in a relationship.
198
00:10:18,881 --> 00:10:21,748
Sometimes you have to do things
you don't want to do, like dressing nice.
199
00:10:21,784 --> 00:10:23,843
Or, in my case,
going to the zoo twice a month.
200
00:10:23,886 --> 00:10:26,013
I still don't know
why J.D. Is so obsessed
201
00:10:26,055 --> 00:10:27,579
with those damn penguins.
202
00:10:27,623 --> 00:10:29,989
It's because they look like
little formal people.
203
00:10:30,025 --> 00:10:32,118
We like to think they're British.
204
00:10:32,161 --> 00:10:35,028
- Turk, if you're out, then stay out.
- Fine!
205
00:10:35,698 --> 00:10:38,462
So, to make Drew happy I have to start
wearing tutus and prom dresses?
206
00:10:38,501 --> 00:10:40,765
That would look adorable, but no.
207
00:10:40,803 --> 00:10:43,829
Just throw on something sexy
once in a while, you know?
208
00:10:43,873 --> 00:10:45,670
Show him you care.
209
00:10:45,708 --> 00:10:48,074
"Anyone fancy a swim?"
210
00:10:50,246 --> 00:10:52,214
What? That's how they sound.
211
00:10:52,248 --> 00:10:54,512
That is the way they sound!
212
00:10:56,385 --> 00:10:57,477
Where are you going?
213
00:10:58,053 --> 00:11:01,284
Hey, Cole, you know how
when we make love
214
00:11:01,323 --> 00:11:04,349
I can't look into your eyes
because they're so empty and soulless,
215
00:11:04,393 --> 00:11:05,758
so I just cover them with my hands?
216
00:11:05,794 --> 00:11:08,160
Yeah, it's cool.
I can see through your fingers.
217
00:11:08,197 --> 00:11:12,293
Well, I can get past that
if you'll be real with me just once.
218
00:11:12,801 --> 00:11:15,133
Why do you want to be a doctor?
219
00:11:15,404 --> 00:11:18,134
- Why the hell not?
- That's a good answer.
220
00:11:18,174 --> 00:11:21,507
- How could that be a good answer?
- Because he meant it.
221
00:11:21,544 --> 00:11:25,446
'Sup, Chiefs?
Hey, I hope the school has insurance,
222
00:11:25,481 --> 00:11:28,450
'cause my keynote speech
is going to blow the roof off this mother!
223
00:11:28,484 --> 00:11:31,282
You, son, are a very odd little squid.
224
00:11:33,055 --> 00:11:37,287
Oh, hey, wait, I want to talk to you.
Your academic record is impeccable,
225
00:11:37,326 --> 00:11:41,592
and Dr. Turk told me about your catch
with the poisonwood-berry burn.
226
00:11:41,730 --> 00:11:45,826
You are our choice as keynote speaker
for the White Coat Ceremony.
227
00:11:47,169 --> 00:11:51,469
Congratulations. It's tantamount
to getting half-off on a cup of soup.
228
00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:53,804
Who knows why we do
the things we do?
229
00:11:53,842 --> 00:11:57,141
Sometimes we're just trying
to make someone else happy.
230
00:11:57,546 --> 00:12:02,506
- So you think that outfit is sexy?
- Yeah. 'Cause I'm free-boobing it.
231
00:12:03,752 --> 00:12:07,017
Other times we leave people
searching for explanations.
232
00:12:07,056 --> 00:12:10,787
I don't want to be the keynote speaker,
but thanks.
233
00:12:13,762 --> 00:12:18,131
- Well, that's disappointing.
- I was gonna say, "Who cares?"
234
00:12:19,101 --> 00:12:22,366
But in our weakest moments,
it's all about jealousy.
235
00:12:22,404 --> 00:12:25,464
Hey, Dr. Turk, I need to show you
something on the Web.
236
00:12:25,507 --> 00:12:27,134
Is it a cat doing something
a human would do?
237
00:12:27,176 --> 00:12:28,837
'Cause if it is, I'm in.
238
00:12:28,877 --> 00:12:30,936
- Something with Drew.
- And a cat?
239
00:12:30,980 --> 00:12:34,746
No. Just look.
This is from 10 years ago, dude.
240
00:12:34,917 --> 00:12:38,250
...that dream is finally realized,
and as doctors...
241
00:12:41,190 --> 00:12:43,181
This ceremony's a joke, okay?
242
00:12:43,225 --> 00:12:45,955
I'm better than all you fools,
and you guys, too!
243
00:12:45,995 --> 00:12:49,590
Hey! I have something to say.
I don't need to be keynote speaker!
244
00:12:49,632 --> 00:12:53,966
Okay? You don't deserve these coats!
You don't deserve these coats, okay?
245
00:12:54,003 --> 00:12:55,664
Better recognize!
246
00:12:56,639 --> 00:12:58,163
You showed this to anybody?
247
00:12:58,207 --> 00:13:01,267
Still, nothing's as painful
as hiding from the past.
248
00:13:01,310 --> 00:13:04,768
Hey, Drew. "You better recognize"?
249
00:13:05,814 --> 00:13:08,942
- Something people said in the '90s.
- Cool people?
250
00:13:10,719 --> 00:13:11,777
No.
251
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:22,752
Recognize!
252
00:13:22,794 --> 00:13:24,352
Recognize!
253
00:13:24,395 --> 00:13:28,126
Yes. Hello. It's me.
254
00:13:29,367 --> 00:13:30,834
How could this be any worse?
255
00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:38,473
Scientists taught horses to talk,
and it turns out,
256
00:13:38,509 --> 00:13:41,205
because we've ridden them
all these years,
257
00:13:41,245 --> 00:13:43,941
they don't like humans!
258
00:13:46,818 --> 00:13:50,845
- I don't even want to think about it.
- What the hell is wrong with Cole?
259
00:13:50,888 --> 00:13:52,014
Drew.
260
00:13:52,156 --> 00:13:54,818
Doctors are much more
than just physicians.
261
00:13:54,859 --> 00:13:56,588
They can be mentors.
262
00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,117
Come with me.
263
00:13:59,497 --> 00:14:00,589
Disciplinarians.
264
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:01,723
Come with me.
265
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,666
Even fashion advisers.
266
00:14:05,703 --> 00:14:08,194
- Come with me.
- I'm with a patient.
267
00:14:10,741 --> 00:14:12,800
Dementia? Please.
268
00:14:12,844 --> 00:14:15,870
Don't bring that weak sauce in here.
He'll never know you're gone.
269
00:14:15,913 --> 00:14:20,077
Fine. I'll just take my jacket off,
put it over the IV stand,
270
00:14:20,117 --> 00:14:23,018
- and he'll probably think it's still me.
- Sweet.
271
00:14:23,454 --> 00:14:25,388
Let's see what we have.
272
00:14:26,824 --> 00:14:29,622
You definitely need my blue eyes
for this one.
273
00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,753
And my pregnancy boobs for this one.
274
00:14:31,796 --> 00:14:33,991
Honestly, if I could give up
five years of my life
275
00:14:34,031 --> 00:14:35,794
to keep these bad boys, I would.
276
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:38,768
You know, as long as I had a guarantee
that I'd live until, like, my 80s.
277
00:14:38,803 --> 00:14:41,772
Yeah, you should bring that up to God
when he grants you your magic boobs.
278
00:14:41,806 --> 00:14:44,604
In my head it wasn't God,
it was a genie.
279
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:47,644
Yes, and we're going to figure out
what to do with these.
280
00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:50,545
Wow. You're like the sister
I never wanted.
281
00:14:51,282 --> 00:14:53,944
- Really?
- I'm not doing any of this.
282
00:14:54,385 --> 00:14:56,046
That is what the ugly duckling
always says in the movies,
283
00:14:56,087 --> 00:14:59,420
but then she takes her glasses off
and everyone thinks she's beautiful.
284
00:14:59,457 --> 00:15:02,426
Did you just call me
an ugly duckling?
285
00:15:02,460 --> 00:15:04,428
Look, there's Lucy. Hey, Lucy.
286
00:15:04,462 --> 00:15:07,124
- Did you see Drew's video?
- What video?
287
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:10,057
- Come on.
- Too bad about your boy, Drew,
288
00:15:10,101 --> 00:15:12,092
but no worries. I'll pick up the slack.
289
00:15:12,136 --> 00:15:14,229
I already wrote the beginning
of my speech.
290
00:15:14,272 --> 00:15:16,797
So I open up with a line
from the movie Malice.
291
00:15:16,841 --> 00:15:21,744
"You ask me if I have a God complex.
I am God!" Boom! We're in.
292
00:15:21,779 --> 00:15:23,770
Yeah, you damn sure are.
293
00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:29,643
I don't think the lock works on that door,
so if he tries to get out, subdue him.
294
00:15:29,687 --> 00:15:32,451
- Sleeper hold or full nelson?
- Dealer's choice.
295
00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:35,254
- I'll see what feels right.
- Fair enough.
296
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:38,991
Come out if you want to, boy.
Daddy's waiting.
297
00:15:39,830 --> 00:15:43,095
- Why am I scrubbing in again?
- The OR's a safe place.
298
00:15:43,134 --> 00:15:46,228
Nobody's gonna yell "recognize" at you
in here.
299
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:50,935
Can I ask you a question?
Why do white people ruin everything?
300
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:54,473
I only got to say "fo' shizzle" for a week.
A week!
301
00:15:54,845 --> 00:15:56,836
And what's up with you in that video?
302
00:15:56,881 --> 00:15:59,213
The psychologist called it
"an unbalanced act,"
303
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:00,342
but I don't care about that video.
304
00:16:00,384 --> 00:16:03,319
I just hate that it reminds me
of who I was.
305
00:16:04,021 --> 00:16:05,852
What are
the three categories of presentation
306
00:16:05,890 --> 00:16:06,914
in Crohn's disease?
307
00:16:06,958 --> 00:16:09,688
Stricturing, penetrating
and inflammatory.
308
00:16:09,727 --> 00:16:13,060
Sorry, Dr. Reynolds.
Looks like nobody else studied.
309
00:16:14,632 --> 00:16:16,463
Psst. Little help?
310
00:16:18,970 --> 00:16:20,198
Thanks.
311
00:16:20,404 --> 00:16:24,204
Oh! This kid's got a cheat sheet.
That doesn't seem fair to the rest of us.
312
00:16:24,241 --> 00:16:25,538
I'm just saying.
313
00:16:25,977 --> 00:16:27,535
I pulled every dirty trick in the book
314
00:16:27,578 --> 00:16:29,375
and I still didn't get chosen
as keynote speaker.
315
00:16:29,747 --> 00:16:32,181
That honor went to Eric Puritsky.
316
00:16:33,417 --> 00:16:35,851
Let me get this straight.
You turned down keynote speaker
317
00:16:35,886 --> 00:16:39,219
because you're worried
you're becoming that guy again?
318
00:16:39,256 --> 00:16:41,315
I think I'm already there.
319
00:16:44,562 --> 00:16:46,587
Okay. Thank you so much
for letting me dress you up.
320
00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:49,258
I really needed some closure
on the whole makeover thing.
321
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,359
Okay, now take your glasses off,
let that hair down
322
00:16:51,402 --> 00:16:54,496
and act like you don't know
how pretty you are.
323
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,421
There it is!
324
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:17,089
- What is with the sad face?
- Dr. Cox is still in my head
325
00:17:17,128 --> 00:17:19,460
about this whole
"why do you want to be a doctor" thing.
326
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:23,126
I can't think of the answer
that he wants, you know?
327
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:27,194
And you don't think your amazing
new look will take care of that?
328
00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:29,396
I really don't.
329
00:17:31,042 --> 00:17:33,340
Then maybe you should stop looking
for the perfect answer
330
00:17:33,377 --> 00:17:36,244
and just tell him
what you actually think.
331
00:17:43,516 --> 00:17:46,508
You see that, Drew?
That's scar tissue.
332
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,288
Nine years ago,
when Joseph came to me,
333
00:17:49,322 --> 00:17:52,621
I popped out his appendix
and screwed up the closure.
334
00:17:52,659 --> 00:17:57,119
I was so focused on the abdomen
that I blew the cosmesis of the incision.
335
00:17:58,064 --> 00:18:02,524
Nowadays I know better, and I can fix it
without making the same mistake.
336
00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:07,131
And because of that, I don't have
to beat myself up over something
337
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:11,872
that happened a long time ago.
So, what are you gonna do, Drew?
338
00:18:15,148 --> 00:18:16,945
I'm gonna scrub out.
339
00:18:19,118 --> 00:18:22,087
Hey. Saw that video. Crazy.
340
00:18:22,121 --> 00:18:25,090
Yeah. It's like my own personal
"Don't tase me, bro."
341
00:18:25,124 --> 00:18:27,490
- That's why you've been weird, huh?
- Pretty much.
342
00:18:27,527 --> 00:18:29,222
I thought it was about me.
343
00:18:29,262 --> 00:18:31,355
'Cause I wouldn't dress
all girly-gay for you.
344
00:18:31,397 --> 00:18:35,766
What? No. I mean, I guess I'd like
to see you like that sometime,
345
00:18:38,972 --> 00:18:41,634
but I would never ask you to do that.
346
00:18:43,676 --> 00:18:45,075
I gotta go.
347
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,910
Why do I want to be a doctor?
348
00:18:53,453 --> 00:18:55,011
Recognize!
349
00:18:55,054 --> 00:18:56,885
Because the road sure as hell
isn't easy.
350
00:18:56,923 --> 00:18:57,981
Recognize.
351
00:18:58,024 --> 00:19:01,790
And there always seems to be
something standing in your way.
352
00:19:05,565 --> 00:19:07,795
Sometimes it's even yourself.
353
00:19:08,668 --> 00:19:11,000
- Dr. Cox.
- Oh, dear God.
354
00:19:11,404 --> 00:19:13,668
I don't have your perfect answer.
355
00:19:13,706 --> 00:19:16,072
At first I thought it was
to make my family proud,
356
00:19:16,109 --> 00:19:18,373
and then I thought
it was about saving lives,
357
00:19:18,411 --> 00:19:20,504
and for one second
I thought it was a chance
358
00:19:20,546 --> 00:19:24,448
to get closer to Dr. Sanjay Gupta,
who is a beautiful Indian man,
359
00:19:24,484 --> 00:19:26,645
and I've never visited
that continent romantically,
360
00:19:26,686 --> 00:19:29,780
- if you know what I mean.
- Unfortunately, I do.
361
00:19:30,123 --> 00:19:33,650
Anyway, the truth is,
I can't pick just one reason.
362
00:19:36,863 --> 00:19:39,093
Oh, my God, that's the answer.
363
00:19:39,999 --> 00:19:42,229
I want to be a doctor
for all those reasons,
364
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:45,726
and a million more
that I haven't even thought of yet.
365
00:19:46,305 --> 00:19:47,863
That's not bad.
366
00:19:48,508 --> 00:19:51,443
Come on, let's go. We're gonna be late
for the White Coat Ceremony.
367
00:19:51,477 --> 00:19:55,971
- Ooh! Plus, I look super-cute in white.
- Now you ruined it.
368
00:19:56,482 --> 00:19:59,576
Luckily, we're surrounded
by amazing individuals.
369
00:20:00,553 --> 00:20:03,886
Talented faculty, dedicated mentors,
370
00:20:04,490 --> 00:20:08,654
outstanding students
who all strive for excellence.
371
00:20:14,133 --> 00:20:18,763
And then there's the new friends,
who make it all a little easier to handle.
372
00:20:19,439 --> 00:20:20,736
So, in closing,
373
00:20:20,773 --> 00:20:24,607
I'd like to give a simple response
to Dr. Cox's question.
374
00:20:25,411 --> 00:20:27,140
Why do I want to be a doctor?
375
00:20:27,180 --> 00:20:32,846
Well, because doctors
give people second chances.
376
00:20:35,455 --> 00:20:37,980
And we all deserve a second chance.
377
00:20:41,661 --> 00:20:43,322
Better recognize.
378
00:20:53,339 --> 00:20:55,967
Hey, I know how you're really mad
at the Internet right now.
379
00:20:56,008 --> 00:20:58,841
Well, it taketh away, but it also giveth.
380
00:21:01,781 --> 00:21:03,180
- And meet the crew!
- You're welcome.
381
00:21:03,216 --> 00:21:10,179
You got Styles, Tricky, Lil' Tricky,
my man Boots, and me, Cole Fusion.
382
00:21:10,456 --> 00:21:13,789
Are you ready?
'Cause this is happening!
383
00:21:13,826 --> 00:21:15,384
Let's go, boys!
384
00:21:27,273 --> 00:21:28,331
No!
385
00:21:28,775 --> 00:21:31,744
Hey, don't just stand there, man,
help me up!
386
00:21:33,045 --> 00:21:34,842
Is my hair still cool?
387
00:21:34,881 --> 00:21:37,213
- I forgive you, Internet.
- Help me up!
388
00:21:37,250 --> 00:21:39,810
Come on! Hey, turn that off!
Get that away!
32310
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