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1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:04,767
Sacred Heart.
Eight years of great memories.
2
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:07,831
This place will live forever.
3
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:10,637
They tore down the old crappy hospital
4
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,942
and rebuilt it
on the med school campus.
5
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:14,948
I'm just back to teach some classes.
6
00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:17,951
First, though, I need to do
my morning good-luck ritual.
7
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:23,188
And seven. That's one good-luck kiss
for every month you've been in there.
8
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,052
- Are you done yet?
- Not yet.
9
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:28,550
And thank you for making
Mommy's boobs so much bigger.
10
00:00:28,763 --> 00:00:30,594
They're almost jugs.
11
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:32,765
Seriously, I think I can
probably rest them on your head.
12
00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,631
- Check it out.
- Okay.
13
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:37,965
Yeah. Whoa, talk about
a 10-gallon hat.
14
00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:39,866
How cool is that?
15
00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:42,708
Donny, no questions right now, okay?
This is private.
16
00:00:42,743 --> 00:00:46,611
- They're still looking.
- I said this is private! Turn around!
17
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:49,842
- That was heavy.
- Hey, do good today.
18
00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:52,451
- Bye.
- Bye.
19
00:00:54,989 --> 00:00:57,457
I can still feel them on my head.
20
00:00:58,292 --> 00:00:59,953
How sweet is he?
21
00:01:02,630 --> 00:01:04,894
Part of me hates
how familiar this seems.
22
00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:07,423
I hope I can find a way
to make this all feel new.
23
00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,802
Oh, my God,
the first day of med school.
24
00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:12,670
Everything is so new.
I mean, just look at all these people
25
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:15,197
who don't know
that I used to wear a back brace.
26
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:16,869
I can look left.
27
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:22,510
Yep, new sights, new sounds,
even new smells.
28
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,714
- Kiwi.
- What?
29
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:28,144
- I smell kiwi.
- Yeah, it's my shampoo.
30
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,885
- I love kiwis, okay?
- I love them, too.
31
00:01:31,025 --> 00:01:35,121
Actually that's not true. They're hairy.
They look like monkey nuts.
32
00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:37,494
Don't smell people. It's weird.
33
00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:40,790
- I'm Lucy.
- I don't care.
34
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:44,734
Regroup, Lucy. Find an ally.
35
00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:48,299
- Hi. I'm Lucy.
- Cole.
36
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,108
Hey, after class
you want to go somewhere
37
00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,634
and get weird with each other?
38
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:53,374
I feel like you skipped a few steps.
39
00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:56,406
Hey, come on.
You already know if you're in or out.
40
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:58,577
So, what's the deal, girl?
41
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:05,918
Not interested.
42
00:02:06,694 --> 00:02:08,286
Medicine is...
43
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,324
Well, it's a dead career.
44
00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:15,992
Thanks to insurance companies
and malpractice lawyers,
45
00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:21,941
you have absolutely no hope of finding
a rewarding or satisfying profession
46
00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:24,206
in this once-noble field.
47
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:29,078
The only exception to this very
true rule is the following.
48
00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:33,977
If you are lucky enough to go
to a great medical school,
49
00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:36,683
then, my children, you got a real shot.
50
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,418
Unfortunately, you're all screwed,
51
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:43,157
because to call this particular school
a craphouse
52
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:45,529
would be
an honest-to-God compliment.
53
00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:48,228
Plus, I'm the only teacher here
worth a damn
54
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:50,737
and I already hate
each and every one of you.
55
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,966
Would you like to know why?
56
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:57,271
Well, it turns out you're not actually
medical students at all.
57
00:02:57,311 --> 00:03:00,474
You are all murderers and assassins
that have been sent here
58
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,641
to try to kill my patients.
59
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:06,449
Here's the bottom line. If you do
get a good, clean kill on a patient,
60
00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:09,547
go ahead and take a pinkie
or an ear as a trophy.
61
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:12,582
I get that, I do.
But, please, also know this.
62
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,221
I'm ready for you, have been for a while.
63
00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:17,457
So watch your ass. Good day.
64
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:21,460
Okay, I hope everyone enjoyed
orientation with Dr. Cox.
65
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:23,800
I'm Dr. Mahoney, your student advisor.
66
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:26,738
Here's some crappy pizza.
Commence feeding.
67
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,042
You joining us, Gramps?
68
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:32,236
You know, 'cause you're old
for a med student.
69
00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:34,577
They told me to give out fun nicknames
for team building.
70
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:37,880
- It's working.
- Look, uh, Drew,
71
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:42,050
I don't like dealing with, well, people,
72
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:45,081
and all these kids
obviously look up to you.
73
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,255
I've never spoken
to any of these people.
74
00:03:47,294 --> 00:03:48,818
I can still feel a bond.
75
00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:52,389
And I thought, why don't you deal with
the whiny emotional stuff,
76
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:55,402
and in return, I will let you do that.
77
00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:58,465
Look, just let me fly under the radar.
78
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:01,336
Please.
79
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:07,673
I guess I should answer
any annoying questions you all have.
80
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:09,239
Yeah, Monkey Nuts.
81
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:13,549
I just wanted to thank you, on behalf
of all of us, for getting us pizza.
82
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,078
There, smelling incident fixed.
83
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:18,250
Yeah, they gave me money to do it,
84
00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:22,023
along with free room and board
to attend to your emotional needs.
85
00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:24,860
Speaking of which,
little administrative thing.
86
00:04:24,898 --> 00:04:28,857
If you're going to kill yourself,
I'm looking at you, Sad Eyes,
87
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:33,397
do it off-campus
because it's a butt-load of paperwork.
88
00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:39,910
All right, everyone, pay attention,
because my spleen is right here.
89
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:44,346
Whoops, that feels more like
my private-time area.
90
00:04:44,385 --> 00:04:47,377
Wouldn't it be easier if you could see
what you were doing?
91
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,719
This is the way I'm doing it, Cole.
92
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:50,985
Or maybe you're just uncomfortable
93
00:04:51,025 --> 00:04:54,517
because it's a black man's head
on a fake white man's body.
94
00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:57,962
That's right, people,
it just got real up in here.
95
00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:02,835
In my class, you will each be graded
by the color of your skin.
96
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:05,665
If you're white, raise your hand.
97
00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:06,832
"F's."
98
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:09,400
- There he is.
- Yes!
99
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:15,842
- Turk! Up here!
- Dude, what the hell are you doing?
100
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:20,110
I thought it'd be more dramatic
if we spotted each other from afar,
101
00:05:20,154 --> 00:05:22,315
and then ran to see each other!
102
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:23,448
But now, if we meet in the middle,
103
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,788
we'll wind up
somewhere inside the hospital,
104
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,317
and this really feels like
more of an outside thing.
105
00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,557
If you count to 10 before you run,
106
00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:33,657
I should be able to get downstairs
and over to you!
107
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:35,966
I'm already counting!
108
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:38,931
Three, four...
109
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:41,406
- Hey, Dr. Turk.
- Not now, Denise.
110
00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:44,806
- Turk!
- I'm late, gotta go.
111
00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:47,707
Let's go, it's guy love
112
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:53,243
Don't compromise
the feeling of some other guy
113
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:57,053
Holding up your heart into the sky
114
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:03,129
I'll be there to care
through all the lows
115
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:07,566
I'll be there to share the highs
116
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:13,631
It's guy love between two guys
117
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:16,208
Mmm, you smell like prison.
118
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:18,768
When was the last time
you guys saw each other?
119
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:20,541
This morning. We carpooled.
120
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,640
But we haven't worked together
in over a year.
121
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:23,877
You know what I'd like to do now?
122
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,908
Is it go to Vermont
and make this thing legal?
123
00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:28,421
Talk to the hand. Remember that?
124
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:33,115
Eagle! Oh, hey, Perry.
125
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,526
I'm really looking forward
to teaching with you.
126
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:38,087
Onward, eagle!
127
00:06:38,699 --> 00:06:40,667
Oh, good God.
128
00:07:01,350 --> 00:07:03,113
So, that's what you're going to wear
to teach?
129
00:07:03,152 --> 00:07:05,245
I'll have you know,
this is the very jacket
130
00:07:05,288 --> 00:07:07,756
worn by Michelle Pfeiffer
in Dangerous Minds.
131
00:07:07,790 --> 00:07:09,849
All I had to do
was sew these elbow patches on
132
00:07:09,892 --> 00:07:12,156
and take the shoulder pads out.
133
00:07:12,194 --> 00:07:14,128
By the way, whatever happened
to the Janitor?
134
00:07:14,163 --> 00:07:17,564
Oh, dude, it was the day after you left.
135
00:07:18,601 --> 00:07:20,626
When's that little buddy of yours
coming back?
136
00:07:20,670 --> 00:07:23,503
He's never coming back.
He's gone for good.
137
00:07:23,539 --> 00:07:26,599
- He's right here, isn't he?
- Where would I be hiding him?
138
00:07:26,642 --> 00:07:28,803
- But he's coming back...
- No.
139
00:07:28,844 --> 00:07:31,904
...after his vacation.
- No.
140
00:07:38,587 --> 00:07:41,021
And no one ever saw him again.
141
00:07:43,626 --> 00:07:47,653
- Dr. Kelso? What are you doing here?
- I'm teaching a couple of classes.
142
00:07:47,697 --> 00:07:48,891
J.D.'s going to teach here, too.
143
00:07:48,931 --> 00:07:53,231
Oh, Turk, sometimes I'll teach them,
sometimes they'll teach me.
144
00:07:53,269 --> 00:07:56,067
But we're always
gonna inspire each other.
145
00:07:56,105 --> 00:07:58,835
You're still such an odd little fruit.
146
00:07:59,208 --> 00:08:00,436
Is that a woman's jacket?
147
00:08:00,476 --> 00:08:01,966
- No, it's a men's small.
- Yes, it's actually a jacket
148
00:08:02,011 --> 00:08:03,876
- from Dangerous Minds.
- He doesn't need to know that.
149
00:08:03,913 --> 00:08:07,644
Dr. Kelso, I heard about Enid's passing.
150
00:08:08,384 --> 00:08:11,353
- I'm so sorry.
- Well, you bottom out,
151
00:08:12,288 --> 00:08:14,222
and then you persevere.
152
00:08:14,256 --> 00:08:17,020
I feel like I can say the worst is over.
153
00:08:17,093 --> 00:08:19,823
- How long ago did she pass?
- About two days.
154
00:08:19,862 --> 00:08:20,886
Oh!
155
00:08:21,831 --> 00:08:24,800
- I'm a frequent flier.
- Congrats, I guess.
156
00:08:25,067 --> 00:08:27,433
No, no, no. That means
I'm in and out of the hospital a lot.
157
00:08:27,470 --> 00:08:28,494
Oh.
158
00:08:28,537 --> 00:08:33,236
- Ben. Ischemic bowel disease.
- Lucy. I'm a med student.
159
00:08:33,275 --> 00:08:36,938
- You look like you could use a grape.
- Thanks, Ben, I really could.
160
00:08:36,979 --> 00:08:39,038
No stealing food from patients.
161
00:08:39,081 --> 00:08:41,914
Gather around, murderers.
Gather around.
162
00:08:42,385 --> 00:08:44,410
I saw that. Spit it out.
163
00:08:45,021 --> 00:08:48,457
Now, eat it again.
At least we know you're a good listener.
164
00:08:48,491 --> 00:08:49,753
Score!
165
00:08:50,059 --> 00:08:52,425
You should all follow 19's lead.
166
00:08:52,461 --> 00:08:55,862
And I call her 19
because instead of using your names,
167
00:08:55,898 --> 00:08:58,958
I am going to go by
where you currently rank in my head.
168
00:08:59,001 --> 00:09:00,491
Now, who can tell me
169
00:09:00,536 --> 00:09:04,802
what artery goes above the optic
chiasm to the cerebral hemispheres?
170
00:09:05,875 --> 00:09:07,069
Supermodel in the back.
171
00:09:07,109 --> 00:09:10,704
I'm fairly
certain it's the anterior cerebral artery.
172
00:09:11,247 --> 00:09:14,273
- What?
- The anterior cerebral artery.
173
00:09:15,217 --> 00:09:17,742
I'm not understanding
a word that she's saying.
174
00:09:17,787 --> 00:09:21,780
And, people, I can teach anyone.
You just gotta speak English.
175
00:09:22,191 --> 00:09:24,921
- I'm Australian.
- Still not getting it.
176
00:09:25,428 --> 00:09:27,191
Everyone, leave.
177
00:09:29,698 --> 00:09:33,259
- I'm sorry about the grape thing.
- Don't sweat it, 42.
178
00:09:33,335 --> 00:09:36,361
Is my number going down
because I'm talking to you?
179
00:09:39,008 --> 00:09:42,444
- Why was Michael in my room?
- His name isn't Michael.
180
00:09:42,711 --> 00:09:44,372
Well, he has a weird Serbian name
that I can't say,
181
00:09:44,413 --> 00:09:46,278
so I'm calling him Michael. He loves it.
182
00:09:46,315 --> 00:09:50,149
- I don't. My name is Ilyavich.
- Mike, just go.
183
00:09:50,753 --> 00:09:54,416
Young Michael informed me
that you told everyone to come to me
184
00:09:54,457 --> 00:09:57,426
- with their personal problems.
- Yeah, I did.
185
00:09:57,460 --> 00:09:58,688
I checked on you.
186
00:09:58,727 --> 00:10:01,252
You've already been to med school
once already when you were 21,
187
00:10:01,297 --> 00:10:04,755
and you didn't just flame out.
You like... You went nuclear.
188
00:10:04,834 --> 00:10:07,667
- Seriously, how was prison?
- It was cold.
189
00:10:08,404 --> 00:10:09,769
You couldn't just let me be.
190
00:10:09,805 --> 00:10:12,672
Well, I'm gonna take the high road
and not mention your mannish voice
191
00:10:12,708 --> 00:10:16,075
and all the pictures you have in here
of your friends.
192
00:10:16,112 --> 00:10:17,909
Tell me, which one's your BFF?
193
00:10:17,947 --> 00:10:20,347
- You are a giant douche.
- I know.
194
00:10:23,052 --> 00:10:25,646
- Wanna take a shower together?
- Fine.
195
00:10:26,722 --> 00:10:29,714
You know, you think you're so hot,
but I'm not a fan.
196
00:10:29,758 --> 00:10:32,852
Hey, I'm not happy
about this, either, okay?
197
00:10:33,762 --> 00:10:36,754
Lights, camera, teach.
198
00:10:36,799 --> 00:10:39,962
Welcome to internal medicine, gang.
199
00:10:40,002 --> 00:10:44,132
My name is Dr. John Dorian.
200
00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:47,266
- Hey, should we be taking notes?
- That's a good question, fellow.
201
00:10:47,309 --> 00:10:50,142
What I'll tell you is,
I don't like to really stop.
202
00:10:50,179 --> 00:10:51,373
That ruins my flow.
203
00:10:51,413 --> 00:10:54,814
So, what I'm gonna do
is give a subtle nod, like so,
204
00:10:55,251 --> 00:10:57,685
as a signal, okay?
Now, back to my name.
205
00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:00,655
I prefer "Dr. D," or in a pinch,
"Dr. Dizzle,"
206
00:11:00,689 --> 00:11:03,715
- but if you see me out in the quad...
- There is no quad.
207
00:11:03,759 --> 00:11:07,695
I'm not a big fan of the TAs
doing a lot of speaking, Denise. Okay?
208
00:11:08,764 --> 00:11:10,994
Wait, wait.
That was an accidental nod, you guys.
209
00:11:11,033 --> 00:11:13,763
No note-taking. No note-taking, okay?
210
00:11:13,802 --> 00:11:16,396
Now, if you see me out in the quad,
211
00:11:17,940 --> 00:11:20,431
I want you to think of me
as more than your teacher.
212
00:11:20,476 --> 00:11:22,876
I'm also your friend, all right?
213
00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:28,607
Okay, we're definitely gonna need
a new signal for the note-taking thing.
214
00:11:29,418 --> 00:11:33,582
This guy's trying to die on me again.
Who wants to play patient roulette?
215
00:11:33,956 --> 00:11:35,617
Please not me, please not me.
216
00:11:39,795 --> 00:11:42,263
It ain't no use running, little girl!
217
00:11:42,298 --> 00:11:47,167
First one bringing me a med student
gets a juicy bone. He gets a juicy bone.
218
00:11:47,236 --> 00:11:49,864
You go get them! Woo!
219
00:11:50,973 --> 00:11:52,600
Ninety-one, here's how we play.
220
00:11:52,641 --> 00:11:54,973
I'm not gonna do anything
to help this dying man
221
00:11:55,010 --> 00:11:57,911
until you answer
these three very simple questions.
222
00:11:57,947 --> 00:11:59,039
What is it called when a blood clot
223
00:11:59,081 --> 00:12:00,810
occludes a branch
of the pulmonary artery?
224
00:12:00,849 --> 00:12:03,215
What is it called when tuberculosis
affects the spine?
225
00:12:03,252 --> 00:12:05,686
And what was the name
of the African NBA center
226
00:12:05,721 --> 00:12:08,451
who did this
whenever he blocked a shot?
227
00:12:09,758 --> 00:12:12,283
Ooh, I'd hurry. His heart's slowing down.
228
00:12:12,328 --> 00:12:14,558
And he's dead.
229
00:12:15,064 --> 00:12:16,827
Not because of you. I'm not insane.
230
00:12:16,865 --> 00:12:18,856
He was dead
when we walked over here.
231
00:12:18,901 --> 00:12:22,098
But just a stunningly horrible job,
nonetheless.
232
00:12:26,909 --> 00:12:30,470
All right, we finally found
a signal that works. Jazz hands, love it.
233
00:12:30,713 --> 00:12:33,181
Guys, tomorrow you'll be
divided into groups
234
00:12:33,215 --> 00:12:35,547
and you'll be given your cadavers.
235
00:12:35,584 --> 00:12:39,816
So, great first day, everybody.
Who wants to keep this party going?
236
00:12:40,723 --> 00:12:46,025
If so, meet me back here at 6:00.
I will have beers, on me.
237
00:12:46,462 --> 00:12:49,625
Everyone, take a mix CD
on their way out.
238
00:12:49,665 --> 00:12:52,828
For those of you who are fans
of a young Ms. Miley Cyrus,
239
00:12:52,868 --> 00:12:56,201
I recommend the green ones.
She's heavily featured.
240
00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,374
- Dr. Cox...
- Professor.
241
00:13:00,709 --> 00:13:02,802
- Professor Cox...
- Actually, it's both.
242
00:13:02,845 --> 00:13:04,972
- Doctor-Professor Cox?
- Yes?
243
00:13:05,281 --> 00:13:08,273
Sometimes I feel like
you're not even trying to teach me.
244
00:13:08,317 --> 00:13:09,341
I'm not.
245
00:13:09,385 --> 00:13:12,650
I generally don't waste time
on people who aren't going to make it.
246
00:13:12,688 --> 00:13:14,883
Oh! Thanks.
247
00:13:14,923 --> 00:13:16,288
Thanks?
248
00:13:21,830 --> 00:13:24,890
- Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?
- What do you want?
249
00:13:24,933 --> 00:13:29,700
Well, I get the whole trial-by-fire thing,
and you're wonderful at it, really.
250
00:13:29,738 --> 00:13:31,672
- Don't ever touch me.
- Sorry. Um...
251
00:13:31,707 --> 00:13:34,267
But you seem to go out of your way
to pick on the weakest kids.
252
00:13:34,310 --> 00:13:37,177
Maybe you could, I don't know,
not do that.
253
00:13:37,913 --> 00:13:40,347
Thank you for the feedback.
It's invaluable.
254
00:13:40,382 --> 00:13:42,043
- You don't mean that, do you?
- I don't.
255
00:13:42,084 --> 00:13:44,518
And since you don't see yourself
as one of the weak ones,
256
00:13:44,553 --> 00:13:47,750
maybe a good solution would be
for me to unload
257
00:13:47,856 --> 00:13:50,620
my years of rage and frustration
and pain onto your head,
258
00:13:50,659 --> 00:13:52,559
and your head alone.
259
00:13:53,062 --> 00:13:55,895
Are we locked down to that,
or can we keep spitballing here?
260
00:13:55,931 --> 00:13:58,695
- Very locked in.
- Looking forward to it.
261
00:13:59,735 --> 00:14:00,963
Whore!
262
00:14:01,136 --> 00:14:04,299
Not you. Just, something I say
whenever I'm pissed.
263
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,733
And when I'm with a whore.
264
00:14:08,377 --> 00:14:11,141
- Whoa.
- None of them showed up.
265
00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:13,971
I got us all these
glow-in-the-dark necklaces
266
00:14:14,016 --> 00:14:16,712
so we wouldn't lose each other
when we were out on the town.
267
00:14:16,752 --> 00:14:21,018
It's their first day of med school.
Come on, you remember how we were.
268
00:14:22,691 --> 00:14:24,215
- Nerds!
- Losers!
269
00:14:25,361 --> 00:14:26,953
I feel so alive.
270
00:14:27,529 --> 00:14:29,929
Everybody at that party had sex.
271
00:14:30,532 --> 00:14:32,830
Come on, let's go get a beer.
272
00:14:33,235 --> 00:14:34,327
No.
273
00:14:36,305 --> 00:14:40,298
We all go through life worrying
about what other people think of us.
274
00:14:40,342 --> 00:14:41,502
Hey,
275
00:14:42,511 --> 00:14:45,639
aren't those your students
in there with Kelso?
276
00:14:45,948 --> 00:14:48,678
Man, I must be the worst teacher ever.
277
00:14:49,251 --> 00:14:53,779
The truth is, the harshest words
are the ones we say about ourselves.
278
00:14:55,324 --> 00:14:58,987
- Are you okay, sweetie?
- No, Ben.
279
00:15:00,362 --> 00:15:02,262
I don't belong here.
280
00:15:10,568 --> 00:15:12,126
I was so depressed yesterday.
281
00:15:12,169 --> 00:15:15,969
To cheer myself up,
I made what I think is a great decision.
282
00:15:16,307 --> 00:15:20,471
Sometimes, one perfect night
can change your whole outlook on life.
283
00:15:24,982 --> 00:15:27,974
Yep, I've got a good feeling
about this guy.
284
00:15:30,922 --> 00:15:33,652
Hey, darling, I'm Dr. Cole.
I'll be your physician.
285
00:15:34,091 --> 00:15:38,391
So, what are we dealing with here?
"Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma."
286
00:15:38,930 --> 00:15:40,693
- Giant drag.
- Hey.
287
00:15:41,632 --> 00:15:42,656
Come here.
288
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,293
Hope you enjoyed
your last day of med school.
289
00:15:45,336 --> 00:15:47,896
- Yeah, I don't see it.
- I'm sorry, what?
290
00:15:47,939 --> 00:15:51,033
You know that bust you pass on your
way to pick up your tiny paycheck?
291
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:54,636
Notice any resemblance?
Symmetric features, strong jaw?
292
00:15:55,046 --> 00:15:58,106
Yeah, that's my pop-pop.
Paid for this whole building.
293
00:15:58,149 --> 00:16:00,276
So here's the skinny. I'm Teflon.
294
00:16:00,318 --> 00:16:02,786
You can fire bullets at me if you want,
but be careful.
295
00:16:02,820 --> 00:16:05,721
When they ricochet off me,
they sometimes hit other people.
296
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:08,122
Puh-ching. Puh-ching.
297
00:16:08,159 --> 00:16:09,524
Hey, don't "puh-ching" me.
298
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,653
- Puh-ching.
- Don't you "puh-ching" me!
299
00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:15,565
My dad always says
every day is a new day,
300
00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:17,999
so today
I'm gonna be confident, strong,
301
00:16:18,035 --> 00:16:20,503
and nothing will knock me
off my game.
302
00:16:21,839 --> 00:16:25,172
Who am I kidding? I'm doomed.
303
00:16:26,711 --> 00:16:30,306
- Has anyone seen the crash cart?
- It's over by Bed 4.
304
00:16:30,514 --> 00:16:32,573
Now, can you make that out?
305
00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:36,609
I think I heard the words "bear fight,"
but that makes no sense.
306
00:16:38,823 --> 00:16:41,883
You're right, that's super fun.
I love doing things with you.
307
00:16:41,926 --> 00:16:43,450
Thanks, Perry, I needed that.
308
00:16:43,494 --> 00:16:46,429
I'm having a little trouble
getting my teacher groove going.
309
00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:47,624
Maybe you suck at it.
310
00:16:47,665 --> 00:16:49,860
Why do you have to lash out, Perry?
311
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:53,768
Stay open for business in here.
In your heart-cage.
312
00:16:54,505 --> 00:16:57,497
I guess I'm just tired of weeding out
the weak to protect the rest of the herd
313
00:16:57,541 --> 00:16:58,906
like I always do.
314
00:16:58,943 --> 00:17:00,740
Maybe you could mix it up a little.
315
00:17:00,778 --> 00:17:03,804
Try investing emotionally
in one of them.
316
00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:07,412
A kid stood up to me just the other day,
317
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:10,144
and I kind of felt connected to him.
318
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:12,050
Good, good, good.
319
00:17:12,189 --> 00:17:15,249
I'm sure you probably knew him
for all of 30 seconds.
320
00:17:15,292 --> 00:17:18,819
It's not like I tried for eight years
or anything to get your love.
321
00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,922
I thought we were over this.
322
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,335
I'm drowning here.
I wish there was just someone
323
00:17:25,369 --> 00:17:28,395
who could fly up
and rescue me from all this.
324
00:17:29,206 --> 00:17:30,434
I feel like I'd get back on track
325
00:17:30,474 --> 00:17:32,806
if I could just find one student
to connect with.
326
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:35,141
One kid that really needs me.
327
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:38,478
I mean, that's what it's all about, right?
Reaching out.
328
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,213
- What's your name?
- Drew.
329
00:17:42,586 --> 00:17:46,022
I'm taking an interest in you. Carry on.
330
00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:50,688
- That's not good for me, is it?
- Drew, you know I don't care.
331
00:17:50,728 --> 00:17:53,629
Come on, grab me like a man.
Let's do this.
332
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:58,164
What up, Dizzle?
333
00:17:59,003 --> 00:18:01,403
You dropped something. I got it.
334
00:18:02,606 --> 00:18:04,972
I'm not always a believer
in serendipity,
335
00:18:05,009 --> 00:18:08,376
but sometimes the world
just brings things together.
336
00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:14,673
- I was chasing that, so it's mine.
- It's a naked picture of me.
337
00:18:15,619 --> 00:18:18,417
It fell out of that Cole kid's notebook.
338
00:18:18,989 --> 00:18:22,288
Oh, don't be sad. It's just... Oh! Wow!
339
00:18:22,326 --> 00:18:25,557
That is a very graphic
naked picture of you.
340
00:18:25,596 --> 00:18:27,359
You know, we're gonna go over
a lot of that stuff in class.
341
00:18:27,398 --> 00:18:29,389
So don't worry about it.
I shouldn't have looked.
342
00:18:29,433 --> 00:18:31,867
I'm both a married man
and a beloved professor.
343
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:33,961
I know, you're Dr. Dorian.
344
00:18:34,371 --> 00:18:38,330
This area's technically the quad,
so it's J.D.
345
00:18:39,176 --> 00:18:41,542
- Lucy.
- Nice to meet you, Lucy.
346
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:45,875
Don't let him leave.
Say something, Lucy.
347
00:18:46,217 --> 00:18:47,343
J. D?
348
00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:55,483
- Can I help you with something?
- Dr. Cox is all over me. I can't take it.
349
00:18:57,061 --> 00:19:00,588
Come with me. Come with me.
350
00:19:05,169 --> 00:19:08,605
Lucy, to win at the game of Perry Cox,
you have to stand up to him.
351
00:19:08,639 --> 00:19:11,631
He just wants to know that
you're strong enough to survive here.
352
00:19:11,675 --> 00:19:14,337
So you need to go ahead
and show him.
353
00:19:17,882 --> 00:19:20,874
Doctor... Doctor-Professor Cox,
354
00:19:20,918 --> 00:19:22,909
I actually knew the answers
to all your questions.
355
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:24,250
Check it out.
356
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:28,281
Pulmonary embolism. Pott's disease.
And Dikembe Mutombo.
357
00:19:29,193 --> 00:19:31,491
That's fabulous. I don't care.
358
00:19:31,829 --> 00:19:33,626
It's just that you kept yelling
359
00:19:33,664 --> 00:19:37,122
and you had that vein thing
popping out the side of your head.
360
00:19:37,168 --> 00:19:38,658
There it is.
361
00:19:38,702 --> 00:19:40,727
And sometimes I get nervous
under pressure
362
00:19:40,771 --> 00:19:43,171
and I forget basic...
363
00:19:43,574 --> 00:19:45,804
You know, the things that you speak.
364
00:19:45,843 --> 00:19:49,074
- Words?
- Yes! Words. People speak words.
365
00:19:49,914 --> 00:19:51,973
Look, when you have a patient
coding on the table,
366
00:19:52,016 --> 00:19:54,109
what, are you gonna tell
the whole room to stop screaming
367
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:57,609
- so that you don't get nervous?
- No.
368
00:19:57,655 --> 00:20:01,421
Ooh, I know that face. You're a crier.
369
00:20:02,726 --> 00:20:04,057
You cry.
370
00:20:04,094 --> 00:20:07,325
I have not cried once
in my entire adult life,
371
00:20:07,364 --> 00:20:10,231
and I am not gonna start now
because of you.
372
00:20:10,267 --> 00:20:11,632
We'll see.
373
00:20:13,938 --> 00:20:15,337
Be strong.
374
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,530
And Dr. Cox,
375
00:20:18,609 --> 00:20:23,637
if you do make me cry,
it won't be a big deal, because I lied.
376
00:20:24,315 --> 00:20:27,773
I cry all the time.
377
00:20:28,319 --> 00:20:29,877
Oh, good God.
378
00:20:32,790 --> 00:20:35,816
Little victories count for a lot
around here,
379
00:20:37,194 --> 00:20:39,219
even if you never asked to win
in the first place.
380
00:20:39,263 --> 00:20:44,098
Congrats.
I am now going to expect more from you
381
00:20:44,134 --> 00:20:47,297
than I've expected
from a med student, ever.
382
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,233
Whore.
383
00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:54,200
And you have to enjoy
those nice moments while you can.
384
00:20:54,812 --> 00:20:57,940
This is your group's cadaver
for the semester.
385
00:20:58,949 --> 00:21:02,214
Because around here,
they never last very long.
386
00:21:02,620 --> 00:21:04,178
Treat him well.
387
00:21:04,855 --> 00:21:07,346
I wonder what this guy's deal was.
388
00:21:07,858 --> 00:21:08,984
Ben.
389
00:21:10,594 --> 00:21:12,357
His name was Ben.
390
00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:20,331
Hey.
391
00:21:20,371 --> 00:21:21,998
- Would you get off...
- Why are we whispering?
392
00:21:22,039 --> 00:21:23,836
I got a little mad at that Cole kid
393
00:21:23,874 --> 00:21:27,139
and I threw a blanket over his head
and then sat on him.
394
00:21:27,177 --> 00:21:29,668
- He doesn't know it's me.
- What's your exit strategy?
395
00:21:29,713 --> 00:21:32,910
- I haven't really thought that far ahead.
- I got a plan.
396
00:21:32,950 --> 00:21:35,418
Todd, can you come here
and sit on this?
397
00:21:35,452 --> 00:21:36,612
Okay.
398
00:21:39,857 --> 00:21:42,121
So, dude or chick?
399
00:21:42,159 --> 00:21:45,151
Actually, don't ruin it.
I'm good either way.
400
00:21:47,131 --> 00:21:48,155
Ow!
32407
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