Original subtitles

We have previously seen a day at school...

a glass of milk.

Not milk, but money.

Holy cow juice. It's easy living.

Sounds like the Joker.

Watch out, kids, the Joker's back of this.

How true.

What's he up to?

An innocent jukebox?

Oh, yeah?

Plunder by remote control.

And in the Joker's workshop...

Cheerleader Susie...

a secret member of the gang?

But what's the Joker's plan?

And that night at school...

Watch out!

Ouch!

Knockout gas.

And inside this van, a ghastly game.

Three lemons win 5 0,000 volts.

One lemon.

Two lemons.

- Hey, boss, look. - What, what, what?

- The whole town, dark. - Street lights, everything.

Oh, curses and criminy, what confounded luck.

Gotham City is having a power failure, just like New York.

The cops.

I don't like the twist this joke is taking. Let us away. Cheese it, everyone.

Let's go. Let's go.

Strange, an abandoned truck.

Let's have a look inside.

Holy smoke.

Quick, cut us out of here before the power comes on.

Or that's what we will be, just holy smokes.

A mobile slot-machine torture van.

Being in possession of such a vehicle violates 17 separate statutes.

And not a shred of evidence tying it to the devilish Joker.

No fingerprints, stolen license plates.

You overlooked this, Chief O'Hara.

A reel of tape?

Right, the tape from our anti-crime recorder.

Before setting out, I equipped my utility belt with a microphone and transmitter.

Every word those criminals said was recorded in the Batmobile.

But what good will that do, Boy Wonder?

I thought you told us they spoke to you through a trick, uh, voice distorter.

Tricky, commissioner. Tricky but vain.

They didn't realize that every human voice has its own private wave pattern.

- Private as a fingerprint. - Astounding.

Is it evidence? Can it be used by the district attorney?

True. The court won't accept it as yet.

However, I'll take this tape to the Batcave...

run it through the anti-crime voice analyzer, check it against the voice file.

We'll be able to learn the identity of the Joker's henchmen.

We might be able to follow one of them to the Joker's hideout.

Robin's right.

It's our only card. Let's hope it's a trump.

I'm afraid the Joker may still hold the winning hand, Batman.

Will the anti-crime voice analyzer operate without power?

Fortunately, the Batcave is equipped with an anti-crime auxiliary generator...

which automatically compensates for any power failure.

Saints be praised.

And the Caped Crusader's advanced technology.

To the Batcave.

Morning. Hallelujah.

The mighty power grid serving Gotham City is back in action.

And in the Batcave, deep below stately Wayne Manor...

Master scope circuit, A-okay.

- Let's check the beginning of the tape. - Right.

That'll be Susie when we ran into her in the hall.

- Wow, am I ever glad to see you two. - Perfect.

- What'll I do? Jump the tape ahead? - Roger.

Pick it up at 12.7.

That'll be when we were tied inside that grisly torture van.

Twelve point seven, here it goes.

Oh, what a ball.

- The same voice. - I don't believe it. Susie?

Quick, both tapes. Let's run them again, back to back.

Wow, am I ever glad to see you two.

Oh, what a ball.

Holy Benedict Arnold.

Susie, our chief cheerleader, a member of the Joker's criminal gang.

Is it possible, Batman?

Steady, Robin. Steady, old chum.

But how can it be?

It's an old story I'm afraid, old as Eve and the apple.

That snake, the Joker must have promised her some baubles, led her astray.

But what are we gonna do, Batman?

It's bitter, but it's a break, the first one we've had.

- We'll have to use it. - You're right. Only how?

Let's see. Today is a school holiday, isn't it?

Where is that cute little trickster apt to be hanging out?

I know. The Easy Living candy store.

It's on East 3rd, two blocks from school.

Get set, Robin. Get set for an ugly job.

- No, correction. - What?

Not Robin, Dick. Dick Grayson, undercover agent.

His job is to get inside that gang.

Dog George to Batman, do you read me?

- Do you read me, Batman? - Loud and clear, over.

I'm about to go in. How's that micro TV camera working?

- Push button for test pattern. - Roger.

Batscope, A-okay, Dog George. Rendezvous in Batcave at end of mission.

Good luck, over and out.

Good gravy. It's Dick Grayson, president of the student council.

A goodnik like that coming in here?

Hi, Sue baby.

How's tricks?

I must be seeing things. I thought you spent all your spare time studying.

Ah, sure. I used to, maybe, but, uh, who needs it anymore.

You're looking at a guy who's seen the light, Sue baby.

- Who's the boyfriend? - Oh, my friends call me Nick.

No kidding? What do your enemies call you?

My enemies ain't in no condition to call nobody nothing.

Heh, some joker, isn't he?

Uh...

You looking for something, Dicky boy?

Heh, same as everyone else, Sue baby.

Some way of making an easy buck, that's all.

You, the ward of that rich millionaire, Bruce Wayne?

What a skinflint. If I didn't swipe dimes from the butler, I wouldn't have cigarette money.

Well, here. Have one on me, buster.

- Oh, thanks, pal. - Right.

I better pass this round. I already had two packs today.

So how's the easy buck setup? Got any leads?

You know, he might be able to help us, Nick. He's a real super athlete.

- Oh, is that so? - You ought to see him climb and stuff.

- Maybe I should introduce him to... - Zip your lip, baby.

Introduce me to who, Susie?

- Hey, you want a tip, buster? - Yeah.

Oh, there was a cocktail lounge stuck up recently. These guys used a trick jukebox.

- Yeah. I heard about that, some cute caper. - Yeah.

Well, here's my tip. You go down to that same joint at exactly 3 p.m. today.

You might pick yourself up some nickels and dimes.

- Thanks, pal. - That's my tip.

- I'll see you around, huh? - Oh, yeah. You'll see me around.

So long, Sue baby.

Gee, Nick. What's the idea?

Why, you gorgeous dumb hunk of cheerleader, couldn't you see?

- That guy is strictly a phony. - What do you mean?

Already had two packs today, huh? My blind grandmother could see.

That guy never had a weed in his hand in his life.

Good gravy.

How'd I do, Batman?

Good show, Robin. Darn good show.

It's 20 minutes to 3.

We'd better hurry up if we're gonna trap them.

Right you are. Let's go.

A trap indeed, but who's the mouse?

For in the lurid lair of that criminal cat, the Joker...

My favorite kind of joke, one which ends with a bang.

- Ha-ha-ha. - Right. And what about, uh, Susie?

Has she, uh, filled the milk machine again?

She's just getting ready.

Uh, Susie, sweetie...

a special extra bonus...

a half-pint bottle of the most exquisite imported Canadian perfume.

Wow, Canadian perfume.

It's called Un Nuit Sans Fin, one endless night.

Gee, that's like poetry.

No, Susie, no.

Do not open until after you've loaded the milk machine, do you understand?

Oh, sure, Joker, anything you say.

You're just the best boss any crook ever had.

Oh, thank you.

- Ha, ha. - Hey, Joker. It's 3:00.

Batman's zero hour. Watch for the green light.

Back. Everybody, back of the bar.

We gotta have room to throw our Batarangs when the crooks come in for the loot.

Ready with the coin, Robin?

Ready.

Zero hour.

- Put it in the slot. - Roger.

Batman's funeral dirge begins. I'll give him five seconds.

Now.

The jokes on you, my cheery booze hounds. It's a stickup.

Hands up, you cowards.

Surprise, Batman.

- Quick, Robin, down behind the Batshield. - Surprise and good night.

Holy hail storm. You knew this was gonna happen.

Or something like it.

You see, Robin, you betrayed yourself in that candy store.

- How? - Despite your boast...

it was painfully evident you're not a smoker.

Nick must have seen that you were working with the police.

- Gee, Batman. I'm sorry. - Don't be silly.

It's to your credit that that charade failed.

The thing now is to save Susie.

- Save Susie? - Work it out.

Why would an undercover agent try to pump her?

- Because I knew she was one of the gang. - Right.

And once they know that we know...

that young lady's life isn't worth a plug lollipop.

Holy murder. We gotta find her quick.

- Where? Back at the store? - School.

- On Saturday? - She'll be in the gym practicing cheers.

Of course. Tonight there's a big game, Woodrow Roosevelt against Disko Tech.

Let's hurry, Batman.

Bartender, a bit of advice. Always inspect a jukebox carefully.

These machines can be deadly.

Hello. Yeah. Right. Yeah, just a sec. He's right here.

Joker. Joker, it's for you. It's Las Vegas...

- Pete The Swede. - Ah!

Hello, Pete The Swede. What's the line on the big game tonight?

The odds are 20-to-1? On Woodrow Roosevelt High?

Oh, what a killing.

Take a whimsical wager.

Fifty thousand dollars on Disko Tech.

Yes, Pete The Swede, you heard me, Disko Tech.

Fifty times 20, 1 million bucks.

Oh, how delicious. Ha-ha-ha!

What? Bet against these champs?

The Clown Prince of Crime must have slipped a cog.

But wait.

One...

Disko Tech, hey!

Disko Tech, hey!

Fight them, Woodrow Roosevelt Beat them, Woodrow Roosevelt

Woodrow Roosevelt, Woodrow Roosevelt

- Fight! - Fight!

Fight!

Okay, kids. Let's take a break, huh?

Gee, too bad that magic milk machine is out of order.

Susie, stop. Give yourself up.

Your life is danger, Susie. The Joker knows we're on to you.

He'll discard you without mercy like an old shoe.

Have you guys stripped your gears?

Quick, catch her.

So long, Dynamic Duo.

Poisoned.

Dead.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I saw them loading her on a meat wagon from the city morgue.

The Boy Wonder was bawling his head off.

Oh, well.

Well, it had to be done, my Bad Pennies.

What's the death of a greedy little dupe?

This life at best is one long impractical joke.

Have a memorial cigar.

Why, thank you, Joker.

The brief shadow is lifted. I'm my own humorous self again.

- What's the hour? - 5:22.

Quick. Cameras. Disguises. It's time for my greatest strike.

Okay...

One more.

Okay, fellas, let's knock it off before we go stale.

Right you are, cap.

We'll quit while we still got our razor-sharp edge.

We'll beat them by 50 points tonight. We'll do it for Susie, right?

- Right. - Come on.

The out of order sign's gone off the milk machine.

Oh, boy. It must be fixed.

- Hey, who's got a dime? - Oh, here, I got one.

- What the heck? - This machine's been fixed all right.

Good gosh!

These are next week's nationwide pre-college exam papers.

Complete with the answers written in.

Dear me, how disillusioning. The champs are cheats.

Caught red-handed with the answers to the nationwide pre-college exams.

- The Joker. - At the moment, merely an honest citizen.

We was passing by to inspect this, uh, here school property...

which we support with our taxes.

- And imagine our surprise. - Hey, we're not cheats.

Oh, it's a typical filthy Joker's trick.

Well, it hardly matters, boys, now, does it?

When the board of education sees this picture with you holding the answer to those exams...

Good gosh, we'll be suspended.

We won't be allowed to play Disko Tech tonight.

Ah! Well, ha-ha-ha! I'm sure the scrubs will do their best.

The scrubs? They'll be creamed.

Oh, so sad, so sad. Tsk-tsk-tsk.

And after Batman's lectures to you about honesty. Ah!

What on earth will the Caped Crusader say?

Ball players. Run for cover.

Don't worry about having seen those exam papers. They're a fake.

We planted them and the Joker's picture doesn't mean a thing.

We saved Susie's life by using the universal antidote pills in our utility belts.

She repaid us by revealing the whole criminal scheme.

Okay, Batman. Let's deliver the punch line.

- Tough luck, Bad Pennies. - You're out of circulation.

They'll melt you down in a pan.

Holy New Year's Eve. He's got me in his famous trick streamers.

Have a sneeze on me, Batman.

No use, Joker.

I knew you'd employ your sneezing powder. So I took an anti-allergy pill.

Instead of a sneeze, I've caught you cold.

That's what easy living gets you, kids. Stick to your books.

And good luck against Disko Tech.

Well, I guess it's goodbye, Susie.

Goodbye, Dick.

I give you my word. I'll mail you all the new cheers as soon as they're made up.

You can practice them while you're away.

Gosh.

What's the matter?

You've all been so nice to me. I can hardly bear it.

Heck, Susie, it wasn't all your fault.

I mean, with your unhappy childhood and a broken home and everything.

No wonder you fell for that crook's phony promises.

It's time, Susie. The chauffeur is waiting.

Gee, imagine being taken to jail by a chauffeur.

The Wayne Foundation for delinquent girls is hardly a jail.

Heck, no. There are teams and clubs and everything.

I don't know what to say to you both.

I just...

- Thanks, Dick. - You're welcome, Susie.

I'll have nightmares all my life, Mr. Wayne.

If it hadn't been for that power failure, where would Robin be?

And where would Batman be?

- Where would Dick Grayson be? - Huh?

Don't think about it, young people.

Just be thankful that life is filled with unanswered questions. That's all.

- Goodbye, Susie. - Goodbye.

Next week, Batman battles False Face.