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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:45,009 --> 00:00:48,013 'Arnold!' 2 00:00:57,021 --> 00:01:01,023 'Arnold!' 3 00:01:11,009 --> 00:01:14,004 'Arnold!' 4 00:01:16,015 --> 00:01:17,986 'Arnold!' 5 00:01:23,010 --> 00:01:25,018 Arnold! 6 00:01:29,004 --> 00:01:30,007 Arnold. 7 00:01:33,005 --> 00:01:37,005 Arnold, lunch is on the table! 8 00:01:38,008 --> 00:01:40,023 Arnold! 9 00:01:42,014 --> 00:01:44,020 Where is that kid? 10 00:01:48,014 --> 00:01:49,014 Aah! 11 00:01:51,006 --> 00:01:55,003 Oh, Arnold, what are you doing in.. 12 00:02:08,018 --> 00:02:14,000 I think my biggest problem is being young and beautiful. 13 00:02:15,023 --> 00:02:17,999 It's because I've never been young and beautiful. 14 00:02:18,023 --> 00:02:20,993 Well, I've been beautiful. God knows I've been young. 15 00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:22,994 But never the twain have met. 16 00:02:23,018 --> 00:02:24,999 Not so as anyone would notice anyway. 17 00:02:25,023 --> 00:02:28,991 You know, a shrink acquaintance of mine believes this 18 00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:31,994 to be the root of my attraction to a class of men 19 00:02:32,018 --> 00:02:34,990 most subtly described as old and ugly. 20 00:02:35,014 --> 00:02:37,986 I think he's underestimating my wheedles. 21 00:02:38,010 --> 00:02:41,981 See, a ugly person 22 00:02:42,005 --> 00:02:44,245 who goes after a pretty person gets nothing, but trouble. 23 00:02:45,001 --> 00:02:48,022 But a pretty person who goes after a ugly person 24 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,978 gets at least cab fare. 25 00:02:51,002 --> 00:02:52,996 Now, I ain't sayin' I never fell for a pretty face. 26 00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:56,991 When les jeux sont faitsgive me a toad with a pot of gold 27 00:02:57,015 --> 00:02:58,992 I'll give you three meals a day 28 00:02:59,016 --> 00:03:01,983 Ain't no toad when the lights go down. 29 00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:03,981 It's either feast or famine. 30 00:03:04,005 --> 00:03:05,995 It's the daylight you got to watch out for. 31 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,978 Well, face it. 32 00:03:08,002 --> 00:03:11,015 A thing of beauty is a joy till sunrise. 33 00:03:13,011 --> 00:03:14,992 Mm, mm. 34 00:03:15,016 --> 00:03:18,022 There's another group you gotta watch your foot stamps around. 35 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:19,985 The hopeless. 36 00:03:20,009 --> 00:03:22,991 They break down into three major categories. 37 00:03:23,015 --> 00:03:24,992 Married. 38 00:03:25,016 --> 00:03:27,017 Just in for the weekend. 39 00:03:29,017 --> 00:03:31,982 Terminally straight. 40 00:03:32,006 --> 00:03:34,979 Those affairs are the worst. 41 00:03:35,003 --> 00:03:36,987 You go into them with your eyes open 42 00:03:37,011 --> 00:03:39,992 knowing all the limitations, accepting them maturely. 43 00:03:40,016 --> 00:03:42,978 Then wham bam, you're writing letters to dear Abby 44 00:03:43,002 --> 00:03:44,985 and you're burning black candles at midnight. 45 00:03:45,009 --> 00:03:47,999 And you ask yourself, "what happened?" 46 00:03:48,023 --> 00:03:50,023 I'm gonna tell you what happened. 47 00:03:51,001 --> 00:03:51,998 You got just what you wanted. 48 00:03:52,022 --> 00:03:53,997 The person who thinks they're mature enough 49 00:03:54,021 --> 00:03:56,992 to handle an affair that's hopeless from the beginning 50 00:03:57,016 --> 00:03:58,998 is the very same person that keeps the publishers 51 00:03:59,022 --> 00:04:03,019 of gothic romances up to their tragic endings in mink. 52 00:04:06,001 --> 00:04:08,981 What do you think? Gorgeous, huh? 53 00:04:09,005 --> 00:04:11,993 Give me a break. It's still under construction. 54 00:04:12,017 --> 00:04:16,002 For those of youse what ain't yet guessed. 55 00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:19,007 I am an entertainer. 56 00:04:20,023 --> 00:04:21,998 Or what's left of one. 57 00:04:22,022 --> 00:04:24,990 I go by the name, Virginia Hamm. 58 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:26,991 Ain't that a kick in the rubber parts? 59 00:04:27,015 --> 00:04:29,995 You should hear some of my former handles. 60 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:32,022 Anita Mann. 61 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,978 Fonda Boys. 62 00:04:36,002 --> 00:04:38,978 Claire Voyant. 63 00:04:39,002 --> 00:04:40,991 Fay Ways. 64 00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:43,022 Bang-bang-la-desh. 65 00:04:45,014 --> 00:04:46,022 Yeah. 66 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,995 I'm among the last of a dying breed. 67 00:04:49,019 --> 00:04:52,982 Once the E.R.A. and gay civil rights bills have been passed 68 00:04:53,006 --> 00:04:55,999 me and mine will find ourselves swept under the carpets. 69 00:04:56,023 --> 00:04:59,980 Like the blacks done to Amos, Andy, and Aunt Jemima. 70 00:05:00,004 --> 00:05:01,995 But that's alright. 71 00:05:02,019 --> 00:05:05,982 With voice and face like this I got nothing to worry about. 72 00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:09,022 I can always drive a cab. 73 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,020 There are easier things in this life than being a drag queen. 74 00:05:16,001 --> 00:05:18,983 Tsk. But I ain't got no choice. 75 00:05:19,007 --> 00:05:20,997 See, umm.. 76 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,999 Try as I may.. 77 00:05:24,023 --> 00:05:26,022 ...I just can't walk in flats. 78 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,997 Ha ha ha. 79 00:05:29,021 --> 00:05:32,979 You know, there was one guy once 80 00:05:33,003 --> 00:05:34,023 his name was Charlie. 81 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,993 He was everything you could want in an affair and more. 82 00:05:38,017 --> 00:05:40,981 Oh, he was tall. 83 00:05:41,005 --> 00:05:42,980 Handsome. 84 00:05:43,004 --> 00:05:44,022 Rich. 85 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,980 Deaf. 86 00:05:47,004 --> 00:05:48,991 The deafness was the more. 87 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,992 Well, he had never yelled at me. 88 00:05:51,016 --> 00:05:52,994 Never complained if I snored. 89 00:05:53,018 --> 00:05:55,987 All his friends was nice and quiet. 90 00:05:56,011 --> 00:05:58,984 I-I even learned some of that deaf sign language. 91 00:05:59,008 --> 00:06:01,009 Oh, I-I remember some. 92 00:06:05,002 --> 00:06:06,013 It's cockroach. 93 00:06:09,004 --> 00:06:10,996 Means fuck. 94 00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:13,981 Oh, this here's my favorite. 95 00:06:14,005 --> 00:06:16,008 Means I love you. 96 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,995 And I did too. 97 00:06:19,019 --> 00:06:21,978 But um.. 98 00:06:22,002 --> 00:06:22,986 Not 99 00:06:23,010 --> 00:06:24,015 enough. 100 00:06:29,008 --> 00:06:32,979 You know... in my life I've slept with more men 101 00:06:33,003 --> 00:06:34,990 than are named or numbered in the bible. 102 00:06:35,014 --> 00:06:37,981 Old and new testaments put together. 103 00:06:38,005 --> 00:06:43,010 But not once has someone said, "Arnold... I love you." 104 00:06:44,009 --> 00:06:45,997 That I could believe. 105 00:06:46,021 --> 00:06:50,993 And I ask myself, "do you really care?" 106 00:06:51,017 --> 00:06:53,999 You know, the only honest answer I can give myself is 107 00:06:54,023 --> 00:06:58,011 "yes... I care" 108 00:07:00,011 --> 00:07:03,001 I care a great deal. 109 00:07:04,013 --> 00:07:05,023 Tsk, but 110 00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:06,994 not 111 00:07:07,018 --> 00:07:09,004 enough. 112 00:07:33,018 --> 00:07:35,996 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to our stage 113 00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:38,980 Bertha Venation! Yay! 114 00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:51,998 And now, the Queen of Delicatessen, Virginia Hamm! 115 00:08:01,011 --> 00:08:02,988 And now, senores and senoritas 116 00:08:03,012 --> 00:08:05,983 please welcome, Marina del Rey! 117 00:08:17,007 --> 00:08:21,016 And now, bigger than Broadway, Marcia Dimes! 118 00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:42,980 Ladies and gentlemen 119 00:08:43,004 --> 00:08:44,996 in order to be a real dame 120 00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:47,984 you've got to kneel before a queen. 121 00:09:04,013 --> 00:09:05,998 Oh, Miss Dimes, you're flawless. 122 00:09:06,022 --> 00:09:09,981 But ladies and gentlemen, wait until you see my act 123 00:09:10,005 --> 00:09:14,980 Bertha Venation and her dance of the virgin. 124 00:09:15,004 --> 00:09:16,997 Which she does completely from memory. 125 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:21,006 Bitch. 126 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,985 Brrr! 127 00:09:32,014 --> 00:09:33,998 Kiss her quick. She's Carmen. 128 00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,022 More! 129 00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:43,986 - Roz, honey, you need a lift? - Oh, that'd be great, thanks. 130 00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:46,170 - Hey, you going straight home? - No. Let's get a beer. 131 00:10:47,001 --> 00:10:48,980 - So, what's the dish? - Men. 132 00:10:49,004 --> 00:10:50,991 My life's work. What's the gripe? 133 00:10:51,015 --> 00:10:53,981 - I ain't got one. - Who wants one? 134 00:10:54,005 --> 00:10:55,989 - I've got three. - 'Find me out.' 135 00:10:56,013 --> 00:10:56,999 Good night, ladies. 136 00:10:57,023 --> 00:10:59,988 - Goodnight. - Night, night dear. 137 00:11:00,012 --> 00:11:01,997 I swear that queen gives me gas. 138 00:11:02,021 --> 00:11:04,992 Oh. Ha ha ha. 139 00:11:05,016 --> 00:11:07,996 Come on, let's go to the Stud, I can use a nightcap. 140 00:11:08,020 --> 00:11:10,980 And a quickie with some stranger in the backroom. 141 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,980 - Count me out. - It's very relaxing. 142 00:11:13,004 --> 00:11:14,979 You'll find this hard to comprehend 143 00:11:15,003 --> 00:11:17,981 but I want more out of life than meeting a pretty face. 144 00:11:18,005 --> 00:11:19,981 - And sitting down on it. - Graphically put. 145 00:11:20,005 --> 00:11:22,987 Personally, I never enjoy sex with someone I know. 146 00:11:23,011 --> 00:11:25,996 - A lady of high standards. - Cab! Night, girls! 147 00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:27,996 - Night, Bertha! - Night, Bertha! 148 00:12:14,016 --> 00:12:16,986 Come with me. I know what to do. 149 00:12:23,015 --> 00:12:25,023 - Oh, my God! - Fucking faggots! 150 00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:32,005 Piss off! 151 00:12:34,006 --> 00:12:36,994 I'm tired and I want to go home. 152 00:12:37,018 --> 00:12:39,997 - One drink, one look. - I'm not goin' to the backroom. 153 00:12:40,021 --> 00:12:41,996 Who asked you to? 154 00:12:55,022 --> 00:12:57,981 I think I feel the call of the wild. 155 00:12:58,005 --> 00:13:03,006 Oh, don't leave me out here. Oh, Murray, Murray, Murray! 156 00:13:19,011 --> 00:13:20,978 Thank you. 157 00:13:24,015 --> 00:13:26,978 Oh, God. I'm sorry. Are you okay? 158 00:13:27,002 --> 00:13:27,981 Fine. 159 00:13:28,005 --> 00:13:29,993 No permanent damage, I hope... to your foot. 160 00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:32,983 No. It's fine. 161 00:13:33,007 --> 00:13:34,021 Good. 162 00:14:06,022 --> 00:14:09,015 Excuse me. Do you have a li.. Great. 163 00:14:12,004 --> 00:14:14,986 Look, um, my name is Ed Reese. 164 00:14:15,010 --> 00:14:16,996 My friends call me Ed. 165 00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:19,992 I'm a Sagittarius. 166 00:14:20,016 --> 00:14:20,999 What's so funny? 167 00:14:21,023 --> 00:14:23,022 Some people like to know that stuff. 168 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,014 I don't believe any of it myself. 169 00:14:32,006 --> 00:14:34,981 You have a great smile. What's your name? 170 00:14:35,005 --> 00:14:36,980 - Uh... Arnold. - Arnold? 171 00:14:37,004 --> 00:14:38,995 What do your friends call you? Arnie or Arn? 172 00:14:39,019 --> 00:14:40,022 Arnold. 173 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,012 Arnold. Yeah. 174 00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:46,989 Well, nice to meet you, Arnold. 175 00:14:51,003 --> 00:14:52,983 - Can I buy you a drink? - I just.. 176 00:14:53,007 --> 00:14:54,012 Oh. 177 00:15:04,008 --> 00:15:05,998 - So what are you? Italian? - Uh, no. 178 00:15:06,022 --> 00:15:07,023 Spanish? 179 00:15:08,001 --> 00:15:09,022 Jewish. 180 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,995 Geez, uh, I mean I never would have guessed. 181 00:15:13,019 --> 00:15:17,011 No, I mean, not with those dark, romantic eyes. 182 00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:20,045 - You wearing makeup? - No. 183 00:15:21,001 --> 00:15:23,015 No, I mean, uh, no, I didn't think so. 184 00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,998 You, um, you here alone? 185 00:15:28,022 --> 00:15:31,985 No. I'm with a friend. He's in the back. 186 00:15:32,009 --> 00:15:33,016 Oh. 187 00:15:35,022 --> 00:15:36,983 Is he your-your.. 188 00:15:37,007 --> 00:15:39,979 Oh, no, no, no, just a friend. Just a friend. 189 00:15:40,003 --> 00:15:41,019 Oh. 190 00:15:43,008 --> 00:15:45,978 Well.. 191 00:15:46,002 --> 00:15:48,004 How lucky for me. 192 00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:55,989 Well, I've got a car. 193 00:15:56,013 --> 00:15:58,992 If you're going to laugh at everything I say 194 00:15:59,016 --> 00:16:02,008 we're never gonna get to bed. 195 00:16:05,013 --> 00:16:07,980 You really do have beautiful eyes. 196 00:16:08,004 --> 00:16:11,001 And you've got some routine. 197 00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:28,979 Anyone ever tell you you've got a very sexy voice? 198 00:16:29,003 --> 00:16:30,978 No, really. You do. 199 00:16:31,002 --> 00:16:33,013 Is that natural, or do you have a cold? 200 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,986 'I'd have asked you to my place, but my roommate is straight 201 00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:59,982 'and he's not all that comfortable with gays.' 202 00:17:00,006 --> 00:17:01,984 'So where does that leave you?' 203 00:17:02,008 --> 00:17:04,981 'Oh, well, I date women too.' 204 00:17:05,005 --> 00:17:07,980 'I teach in Brooklyn, I keep an apartment in the city 205 00:17:08,004 --> 00:17:09,980 'but I-I really live upstate.' 206 00:17:10,004 --> 00:17:13,023 'I've got a farm where I spend weekends, summers.' 207 00:17:14,001 --> 00:17:15,995 'I grow all my own vegetables.' 208 00:17:16,019 --> 00:17:19,023 'You'd love the house, it's a classic American saltbox.' 209 00:17:20,001 --> 00:17:21,996 'Lots of wood detail, Franklin stove.' 210 00:17:22,020 --> 00:17:23,997 'I'm restoring it myself.' 211 00:17:24,021 --> 00:17:26,017 'Sounds beautiful.' 212 00:17:34,005 --> 00:17:36,986 - So what do you do? - I'm a female impersonator. 213 00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:40,990 No, you know, I meant for a living. 214 00:17:41,014 --> 00:17:43,982 I'm a female impersonator. 215 00:17:44,006 --> 00:17:46,991 Does that bother you? 216 00:17:47,015 --> 00:17:49,006 Not yet. 217 00:18:12,021 --> 00:18:15,021 - Oh, wait. I'll get a light. - No, just.. 218 00:18:18,011 --> 00:18:19,983 You're shaking. 219 00:18:20,007 --> 00:18:23,000 Am I? Sorry. 220 00:18:37,003 --> 00:18:38,011 Better? 221 00:18:39,001 --> 00:18:40,988 Mm-hmm. 222 00:18:41,012 --> 00:18:43,998 We're having an intimate dinner. He's bringing the wine. 223 00:18:44,022 --> 00:18:46,999 Why didn't you tell me you were going out? I'd have come. 224 00:18:47,023 --> 00:18:50,980 I better steal steaks from the kitchen. Who has time to shop? 225 00:18:51,004 --> 00:18:53,980 Have you registered a pattern at Tiffany's? 226 00:18:54,004 --> 00:18:56,981 'Bertha Venetian!' 227 00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:58,979 I wonder which apartment we'll keep. 228 00:18:59,003 --> 00:19:01,992 We hardly need two with all the time we'd spend at the farm. 229 00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:02,999 The farm? 230 00:19:03,023 --> 00:19:05,980 Well, you can't bring up children in the city. 231 00:19:06,004 --> 00:19:09,011 'Queen of the Delicatessen, Virginia Hamm!' 232 00:19:20,009 --> 00:19:21,014 Mm! 233 00:20:15,017 --> 00:20:18,007 Oh-h! 234 00:20:31,023 --> 00:20:33,009 Mm. 235 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,997 Happy two-week anniversary. 236 00:20:39,021 --> 00:20:43,004 Oh, Ed, you remembered! 237 00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:01,990 Thanks, Roz. 238 00:21:04,008 --> 00:21:06,990 You oughta slap that girl for stealing your material. 239 00:21:07,014 --> 00:21:09,985 - You're the torch singer. - Who cares? 240 00:21:10,009 --> 00:21:12,983 I ain't singing anything bluer than zip-a-dee-doo-dah. 241 00:21:13,007 --> 00:21:14,992 - When do I get to meet him? - Soon. 242 00:21:15,016 --> 00:21:17,998 Have you met any of his friends yet? Are they nice? 243 00:21:18,022 --> 00:21:21,980 We don't get it out much, if you know what I mean. 244 00:21:22,004 --> 00:21:23,004 Shut up! 245 00:21:43,011 --> 00:21:45,983 Come on. Oh, watch your head in there. 246 00:21:46,007 --> 00:21:48,991 And this first step is a little broken. 247 00:21:54,011 --> 00:21:56,009 Um, we got to work on that. 248 00:22:04,020 --> 00:22:05,997 Good morning. 249 00:22:18,001 --> 00:22:19,001 Alright. Alright. 250 00:22:40,009 --> 00:22:40,998 Argh! 251 00:22:41,022 --> 00:22:43,022 Whoosh! 252 00:23:24,006 --> 00:23:25,981 I'll drop you off at your place. 253 00:23:26,005 --> 00:23:27,982 I'm seeing Tom and Janet for dinner. 254 00:23:28,006 --> 00:23:29,981 You didn't tell me they called. 255 00:23:30,005 --> 00:23:31,981 I forgot. Anyway, I got to see them. 256 00:23:32,005 --> 00:23:33,998 I've given them every excuse in the book. 257 00:23:34,022 --> 00:23:35,997 And you're seeing Lisa and Michael tomorrow night? 258 00:23:36,021 --> 00:23:40,979 They wanted to play bridge. Got a friend in from out of town. 259 00:23:41,003 --> 00:23:42,988 I'll go as your friend from out of town. 260 00:23:43,012 --> 00:23:45,989 - Arnold. - Only joking. 261 00:23:46,013 --> 00:23:48,991 So I guess I'm not gonna see you again until the weekend. 262 00:23:49,015 --> 00:23:51,981 My parents have the farm. I told you that. 263 00:23:52,005 --> 00:23:53,995 So hide out at my place. 264 00:23:54,019 --> 00:23:57,004 I've got to see my folks, Arnold. 265 00:24:06,018 --> 00:24:09,997 Ed, why didn't you call first? I was worried. 266 00:24:10,021 --> 00:24:11,999 'Oh! Hi, mom.' 267 00:24:12,023 --> 00:24:15,986 'Happy Birthday, shayna tateleh. Happy Birthday, shayna punim' 268 00:24:16,010 --> 00:24:18,994 'I can only stay a minute. The girls are in the car.' 269 00:24:19,018 --> 00:24:21,979 Charlotte got tickets to some off-off Broadway theater. 270 00:24:22,003 --> 00:24:24,022 It's experimental. They keep their clothes on. 271 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:26,996 Your father will call after his mason's meeting. 272 00:24:27,020 --> 00:24:29,978 Your brother, he'll call when he calls. 273 00:24:30,002 --> 00:24:32,991 I ask him a question, he yells. So I don't ask. 274 00:24:33,015 --> 00:24:34,987 Are you redecorating? 275 00:24:35,011 --> 00:24:36,987 It's easier than cleaning. 276 00:24:37,011 --> 00:24:39,979 Don't be so funny. 277 00:24:40,003 --> 00:24:41,203 You don't get much light here. 278 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:44,980 I get what you call indirect semi shade. 279 00:24:45,004 --> 00:24:46,983 Yeah, it's good for the plants. 280 00:24:47,007 --> 00:24:48,992 So is manure. 281 00:24:49,016 --> 00:24:50,997 Don't shake. It's cookies. 282 00:24:51,021 --> 00:24:53,996 Ooh! Fancy, fancy. New tablecloth. 283 00:24:54,020 --> 00:24:56,984 I made it myself. Took a class. 284 00:24:57,008 --> 00:24:57,992 I'm tellin' you. 285 00:24:58,016 --> 00:25:00,985 I'm going to make napkins to match. You like it? 286 00:25:01,009 --> 00:25:03,023 - Nice. - It's a pretty pattern. 287 00:25:04,001 --> 00:25:05,994 Very nice. 288 00:25:08,004 --> 00:25:10,986 - Mama, the ladies! - Are you making potato soup? 289 00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:12,984 Ma, don't. You'll burn yourself! 290 00:25:13,008 --> 00:25:15,994 But not like the potato soup I make for your father. 291 00:25:16,018 --> 00:25:18,996 For him, I boil the potato, throw in salt and pepper. 292 00:25:19,020 --> 00:25:22,986 - That's potato soup. - Ma, what are you doing? 293 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,985 I'm coming already! Why don't you come with us? 294 00:25:28,009 --> 00:25:30,991 Leave a note for your friend. We'll come back here for cake. 295 00:25:31,015 --> 00:25:36,005 You just go, have a good time. And give my love to the ladies. 296 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,997 Many happy returns, tateleh. 297 00:25:41,021 --> 00:25:43,993 Thanks, Ma. 298 00:25:44,017 --> 00:25:47,021 While you're redecorating, how about this wallpaper? 299 00:26:29,009 --> 00:26:30,049 Yeah, I'll be right there. 300 00:26:36,014 --> 00:26:41,985 Yeah, one minute. Just a second, um.. 301 00:26:45,014 --> 00:26:46,978 Hi! 302 00:26:47,002 --> 00:26:48,023 Oh, hi. 303 00:26:49,001 --> 00:26:50,990 Was that you on the phone before? 304 00:26:51,014 --> 00:26:52,997 My phone was ringing and I picked it up 305 00:26:53,021 --> 00:26:55,988 just in time to hear whoever it was hang up. 306 00:26:56,012 --> 00:26:57,986 So I was gonna call you back. 307 00:26:58,010 --> 00:27:00,989 But I figured why call when I can come over? 308 00:27:01,013 --> 00:27:02,987 - It wasn't me. - Oh. 309 00:27:03,011 --> 00:27:05,982 Look Arnold, this isn't a great time to talk. 310 00:27:06,006 --> 00:27:08,984 I shouldn't count on that wine being my birthday surprise, huh? 311 00:27:09,008 --> 00:27:10,986 - Your birthday! - You remembered. 312 00:27:11,010 --> 00:27:12,983 Oh, God! Arnold, I'm sorry. 313 00:27:13,007 --> 00:27:15,016 What's the difference? We're together now, right? 314 00:27:17,020 --> 00:27:19,012 Well.. 315 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,600 I've got somebody coming over for dinner. 316 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,987 That's alright, I just want to see you for a minute. 317 00:27:28,011 --> 00:27:31,982 - I understand. - What do you understand? 318 00:27:32,006 --> 00:27:34,022 You never give me a chance to make the first move. 319 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,987 Every time I'm about to call you, there you are calling me. 320 00:27:38,011 --> 00:27:41,979 ESP maybe. 321 00:27:42,003 --> 00:27:44,990 So who you got coming over? Do I know him? 322 00:27:45,014 --> 00:27:45,999 No. 323 00:27:46,023 --> 00:27:49,992 How do you know? Maybe I do. I know lots of hims. 324 00:27:50,016 --> 00:27:52,022 Battle Hymn of the republic, Rock of Ages... 325 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,978 You're impossible, you know that? 326 00:27:55,002 --> 00:27:56,022 What's wrong with us, Ed? 327 00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,160 - Not now, Arnold. - Yes, now. 328 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:00,982 You can't expect me to wait until you call. 329 00:28:01,006 --> 00:28:03,987 I never asked you to, I told you to meet other people. 330 00:28:04,011 --> 00:28:05,985 I can't. I'm not built that way. 331 00:28:06,009 --> 00:28:07,984 I'm just not ready to make that commitment. 332 00:28:08,008 --> 00:28:11,979 I'm not asking you to, but if I've to accept you going out 333 00:28:12,003 --> 00:28:14,011 then you have to accept that I'm not. 334 00:28:16,002 --> 00:28:18,006 You really are crazy. 335 00:28:20,022 --> 00:28:22,996 I miss you. 336 00:28:23,020 --> 00:28:27,993 I think about you all the time. I'm so damn horny. 337 00:28:28,017 --> 00:28:29,993 You've no right to make me feel guilty. 338 00:28:30,017 --> 00:28:32,991 I'm in love with you, that must give me some rights. 339 00:28:33,015 --> 00:28:35,985 If I can't see you, I can bitch about it 340 00:28:44,021 --> 00:28:46,012 Arnold. 341 00:28:48,005 --> 00:28:50,009 Please. 342 00:28:53,001 --> 00:28:53,982 Hello. 343 00:28:54,006 --> 00:28:55,989 Hi, Laurel. 344 00:28:56,013 --> 00:28:57,984 This is Arnold. 345 00:28:58,008 --> 00:29:01,982 Of course! Ed's talked about you. Glad to finally meet you. 346 00:29:02,006 --> 00:29:04,997 He's told me all about you too. I'm sorry, I've got to run now. 347 00:29:05,021 --> 00:29:08,985 Allergies. I-I ought to have my head examined. 348 00:29:09,009 --> 00:29:09,998 Um, just.. 349 00:29:10,022 --> 00:29:12,999 Arnold, Arnold, Arnold. 350 00:29:13,023 --> 00:29:15,993 Don't pretend I never told about my relationships with women. 351 00:29:16,017 --> 00:29:18,982 I thought you meant like sisters and aunts and nieces. 352 00:29:19,006 --> 00:29:22,022 - That's not funny. - I think it's hysterical. 353 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,985 'You're really dragging me over the coals.' 354 00:29:25,009 --> 00:29:28,981 Why should I be the only one here with a barbecued ass? 355 00:29:29,005 --> 00:29:29,982 Arnold. 356 00:29:30,006 --> 00:29:32,979 Arnold, look, I'm not like you. 357 00:29:33,003 --> 00:29:34,993 Being gay is what you are, it's what you like. 358 00:29:35,017 --> 00:29:36,991 It's what you're comfortable with. 359 00:29:37,015 --> 00:29:40,982 I want more, I can't be happy living in a ghetto of gay bars. 360 00:29:41,006 --> 00:29:43,986 - We've never done that. - I need to be proud of who I'm. 361 00:29:44,010 --> 00:29:45,994 How can sleeping with a woman make you proud 362 00:29:46,018 --> 00:29:47,999 if you know you'd rather be with a man? 363 00:29:48,023 --> 00:29:50,997 How will you get any respect if you're not yourself? 364 00:29:51,021 --> 00:29:52,998 'There's no you to respect!' 365 00:29:53,022 --> 00:29:55,989 Where is your self-respect? I don't see any here. 366 00:29:56,013 --> 00:30:01,000 You want to see my self-respect? Here, here's my self-respect. 367 00:30:14,020 --> 00:30:16,001 Hi. 368 00:30:18,007 --> 00:30:19,991 Can I buy you a drink? 369 00:30:20,015 --> 00:30:22,010 Oh, fuck off! 370 00:30:43,015 --> 00:30:45,002 Oh, I'm sorry. 371 00:30:50,007 --> 00:30:51,989 Excuse Me. Pardon Me. 372 00:30:52,013 --> 00:30:54,004 Sorry. 373 00:30:58,013 --> 00:31:00,998 Hi, my name's Arnold. 374 00:31:01,022 --> 00:31:04,005 It's my fault, I'm sure. 375 00:31:14,012 --> 00:31:15,984 Oh, my God. 376 00:31:17,021 --> 00:31:21,022 What am I gonna do with the beer can? 377 00:31:37,002 --> 00:31:40,991 Well, at least I don't have to cook him breakfast. 378 00:31:41,015 --> 00:31:43,987 'With all the promotions, mine can't be far.' 379 00:31:44,011 --> 00:31:46,983 'Promotions are fine, but how about a nice girl?' 380 00:31:47,007 --> 00:31:49,984 Leave the boy alone. He'll find one when he's ready. 381 00:31:50,008 --> 00:31:51,998 - They don't come every day. - You tell 'em. 382 00:31:52,022 --> 00:31:55,993 You boys gotta admit, I picked a beautiful girl as your mother. 383 00:31:56,017 --> 00:31:57,979 You tell 'em. 384 00:31:58,003 --> 00:31:58,993 - You want some rice pudding? - No. 385 00:31:59,017 --> 00:32:01,978 I made Jell-O, but if you want nice pudding.. 386 00:32:02,002 --> 00:32:02,991 - No, Ma. - Nothing for me, Ma. 387 00:32:03,015 --> 00:32:04,992 - Piece of cake? - I'm full. 388 00:32:05,016 --> 00:32:07,982 So what's with you, Arnold? 389 00:32:08,006 --> 00:32:11,997 Not much. I'm not seeing Ed anymore. 390 00:32:12,021 --> 00:32:14,994 - I meant work. - You call that work? 391 00:32:15,018 --> 00:32:16,994 Betty, the boy has to find himself. 392 00:32:17,018 --> 00:32:19,987 So let him find himself, I'm not saying anything. 393 00:32:20,011 --> 00:32:22,999 - I'd love some cheesecake. - Go to Junior's. 394 00:32:23,023 --> 00:32:25,998 So you can use a couple of bucks, Arnold? 395 00:32:26,022 --> 00:32:27,983 'I'm fine, Dad.' 396 00:32:28,007 --> 00:32:29,994 Take it, a loan. Until you're on your feet. 397 00:32:30,018 --> 00:32:32,998 - I'm on my feet, Daddy. - Yeah, in six-inch heels. 398 00:32:33,022 --> 00:32:37,004 - Some big shot. - Excuse me. 399 00:32:54,007 --> 00:32:56,987 They don't mean anything, you know? 400 00:32:57,011 --> 00:32:59,988 Then, why embarrass me like that? 401 00:33:00,012 --> 00:33:03,001 I make more than daddy does. 402 00:33:05,006 --> 00:33:07,019 They have trouble understanding, that's all. 403 00:33:10,003 --> 00:33:12,023 There isn't anything they wouldn't do for you. 404 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,002 Don't be mad at them. 405 00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,002 I'm not mad. I'm jealous. 406 00:33:23,014 --> 00:33:25,980 You realize in all the years that they've been married 407 00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:27,988 the only time they were ever separated 408 00:33:28,012 --> 00:33:32,006 was when ma went into the hospital for that operation. 409 00:33:33,007 --> 00:33:34,988 And what did daddy do? 410 00:33:35,012 --> 00:33:37,978 He slept on a chair in the living room. 411 00:33:38,002 --> 00:33:40,022 He wouldn't even get into bed without her. 412 00:33:42,021 --> 00:33:45,983 And the way they always made us feel 413 00:33:46,007 --> 00:33:48,983 like we were the two most important 414 00:33:49,007 --> 00:33:54,002 smartest, most talented, handsomest.. 415 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,013 And it kills me to think.. 416 00:34:01,022 --> 00:34:06,013 ...that they look at me and wonder what they did wrong. 417 00:34:16,022 --> 00:34:20,982 All I know is in all my born days and there've been plenty 418 00:34:21,006 --> 00:34:22,982 I never met a real bisexual. 419 00:34:23,006 --> 00:34:25,991 - Not in front of you-know-who? - It's alright. Not listening. 420 00:34:26,015 --> 00:34:28,989 Just once I'd like to see a bisexual that lived 421 00:34:29,013 --> 00:34:31,997 with his boyfriend and then snuck out to see his girlfriend 422 00:34:32,021 --> 00:34:33,997 on the sly. 423 00:34:37,005 --> 00:34:39,010 Is Arnold Beckoff.. 424 00:34:44,021 --> 00:34:45,998 You wanna give 'em room? 425 00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:51,001 Alright. Come on. 426 00:34:56,022 --> 00:34:59,984 Bet you never thought you'd see me again, huh? 427 00:35:00,008 --> 00:35:01,020 Hi. 428 00:35:04,014 --> 00:35:06,981 You look terrific. 429 00:35:07,005 --> 00:35:08,992 Really. 430 00:35:09,016 --> 00:35:13,006 You've lost a little weight I see. I'm sorry. 431 00:35:19,005 --> 00:35:21,997 I guess you're still pretty angry, huh? 432 00:35:22,021 --> 00:35:25,989 No, I'm not still angry. This here's brand new. 433 00:35:26,013 --> 00:35:29,978 - What are you doin' here? - I just wanted to talk. 434 00:35:30,002 --> 00:35:32,983 Five months ago you checked out on me and the one thing 435 00:35:33,007 --> 00:35:34,995 I can say is that when you left, you left. 436 00:35:35,019 --> 00:35:36,996 'No matter what I thought of your reasons... ' 437 00:35:37,020 --> 00:35:39,997 I told you that I wanted us to be friends. 438 00:35:40,021 --> 00:35:42,023 'You mean a lot to me.' 439 00:35:46,006 --> 00:35:48,013 Don't get cute with me, huh? 440 00:35:54,023 --> 00:35:57,979 Maybe I shouldn't have come, but as long as the harm's done 441 00:35:58,003 --> 00:35:59,990 can't I just talk to you for a while? 442 00:36:00,014 --> 00:36:03,018 I mean just, no, just until you're finished. 443 00:36:05,017 --> 00:36:08,000 'It's important to me.' 444 00:36:12,014 --> 00:36:14,015 Just sit down. 445 00:36:31,017 --> 00:36:33,987 So how's your sex life? 446 00:36:34,011 --> 00:36:36,979 It's great. 447 00:36:37,003 --> 00:36:38,994 As good as with me? 448 00:36:39,018 --> 00:36:43,979 Arnold, I'm, I'm not so sure that the sex we had was always 449 00:36:44,003 --> 00:36:45,984 as good for me as it was for you. 450 00:36:46,008 --> 00:36:49,023 Sometimes you got a little wild, little too out of control. 451 00:36:53,020 --> 00:36:54,988 And that's bad? 452 00:36:55,012 --> 00:36:57,991 Well, it's not what I want. 453 00:36:58,015 --> 00:36:59,991 It's funny. 454 00:37:00,015 --> 00:37:03,005 That's what I pray for. 455 00:37:05,005 --> 00:37:07,985 I thought about you a lot this summer. 456 00:37:08,009 --> 00:37:09,992 A couple of times, I almost called you. 457 00:37:10,016 --> 00:37:12,986 I even picked up the phone once. 458 00:37:13,010 --> 00:37:15,019 Yeah, so what happened? 459 00:37:16,023 --> 00:37:19,017 Well, I couldn't. 460 00:37:21,004 --> 00:37:23,010 I love her, Arnold. 461 00:37:28,023 --> 00:37:30,981 Oh, um, I had a dream last night 462 00:37:31,005 --> 00:37:32,996 that I want to tell you about. 463 00:37:33,020 --> 00:37:36,994 I mean, you like that sort of stuff. 464 00:37:37,018 --> 00:37:38,988 Anyway, um, I was.. 465 00:37:39,012 --> 00:37:40,990 I dreamt I was at my parent's house 466 00:37:41,014 --> 00:37:45,994 and I got a rag and I soaked it in turpentine 467 00:37:46,018 --> 00:37:48,978 put it inside a plastic bag 468 00:37:49,002 --> 00:37:51,011 and put the bag over my head. 469 00:37:53,011 --> 00:37:53,993 And um.. 470 00:37:54,017 --> 00:37:56,983 Anyway, the phone woke me in the morning. 471 00:37:57,007 --> 00:37:59,981 It was Laurel and I couldn't understand what she was saying. 472 00:38:00,005 --> 00:38:01,994 You know, half of me's trying to listen to her. 473 00:38:02,018 --> 00:38:04,997 The other half's trying to figure out this dream. 474 00:38:05,021 --> 00:38:07,991 I felt dizzy, so I-I went back to bed 475 00:38:08,015 --> 00:38:11,012 and there on the pillow is.. 476 00:38:13,007 --> 00:38:17,979 You know, the-the plastic bag with the turpentine-soaked rag. 477 00:38:18,003 --> 00:38:19,004 Um.. 478 00:38:20,023 --> 00:38:21,998 I couldn't tell any.. 479 00:38:22,022 --> 00:38:25,015 You know, anybody about it. 480 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,015 I'm.. 481 00:38:30,009 --> 00:38:32,010 ...a little scared. 482 00:38:42,010 --> 00:38:45,988 So what, do you got your car with you? 483 00:38:46,012 --> 00:38:48,986 Yeah, um, do you want me to drive you home? 484 00:38:49,010 --> 00:38:52,999 Um, why don't you get the car and I'll meet you out front? 485 00:38:53,023 --> 00:38:54,023 Oh. 486 00:39:13,010 --> 00:39:15,991 So what now, huh? 487 00:39:16,015 --> 00:39:18,993 Look, if I take him back now, knowing all I do 488 00:39:19,017 --> 00:39:20,992 maybe I can make it work 489 00:39:21,016 --> 00:39:23,989 With a little understanding. 490 00:39:24,013 --> 00:39:27,983 Maybe a shrink. 491 00:39:28,007 --> 00:39:29,990 I could just let him drive me home 492 00:39:30,014 --> 00:39:32,978 And then I could say something like, uh 493 00:39:33,002 --> 00:39:35,996 "the next time you feel you have to say I love you to someone" 494 00:39:36,020 --> 00:39:39,994 "say it to yourself and see if you believe it." 495 00:39:40,018 --> 00:39:42,981 That would go over his head. 496 00:39:43,005 --> 00:39:46,003 I think it went over mine. 497 00:39:47,021 --> 00:39:50,987 I could just sneak out the back, leave him waitin' in the cold. 498 00:39:51,011 --> 00:39:52,983 'Cause if I start in again 499 00:39:53,007 --> 00:39:57,004 who's to say he's not gonna keep this shit up, right? 500 00:39:58,012 --> 00:40:00,019 I don't know. 501 00:40:02,015 --> 00:40:05,978 Maybe it's what I want. 502 00:40:06,002 --> 00:40:08,981 Maybe he's treating me just the way I want him to. 503 00:40:09,005 --> 00:40:13,023 I mean what if it's me using him to give me that 504 00:40:14,001 --> 00:40:17,987 tragic torch singer status I admire so in others? 505 00:40:18,011 --> 00:40:21,006 Wouldn't that be a kick in the rubber parts? 506 00:40:27,019 --> 00:40:29,020 I love him. 507 00:40:31,014 --> 00:40:33,023 What are you gonna do? 508 00:40:35,019 --> 00:40:38,010 But do I love him enough? 509 00:40:43,022 --> 00:40:45,023 What is enough? 510 00:40:51,003 --> 00:40:53,004 This is enough. 511 00:41:00,017 --> 00:41:02,018 Enough. 512 00:41:50,001 --> 00:41:51,997 Oh, weren't they wonderful, boys and girls? 513 00:41:52,021 --> 00:41:53,981 Yeah! 514 00:41:54,005 --> 00:41:57,992 Especially, the boys. Ow-w-w! 515 00:41:58,016 --> 00:42:02,980 Ow ow ow, the last time I saw a basket like that 516 00:42:03,004 --> 00:42:04,992 it was around Red Riding Hood's arm. 517 00:42:07,015 --> 00:42:08,986 One more time. 518 00:42:09,010 --> 00:42:09,994 Oh. 519 00:42:10,018 --> 00:42:13,984 I'll see you around and I'll see you around. 520 00:42:14,008 --> 00:42:15,998 - And I'll see you around... - Hey, where's Bette? 521 00:42:16,022 --> 00:42:17,987 - Bette? - 'Yeah.' 522 00:42:18,011 --> 00:42:19,998 Darling, I don't do Bette without a c-cigarette. 523 00:42:20,022 --> 00:42:21,987 - 'Over here.' - Oh. 524 00:42:22,011 --> 00:42:25,984 You mean Bette as Baby Jane Hudson? 525 00:42:26,008 --> 00:42:28,007 Yay! 526 00:42:32,004 --> 00:42:33,996 Blanche. 527 00:42:34,020 --> 00:42:36,993 You didn't eat your din-din. 528 00:42:37,017 --> 00:42:41,994 So someone else is gonna eat your Christmas puddin'. 529 00:42:42,018 --> 00:42:44,982 Who's gonna eat my Christmas balls? 530 00:42:45,006 --> 00:42:45,993 How rude? 531 00:42:46,017 --> 00:42:48,991 You have a high voice for a lesbian. 532 00:42:49,015 --> 00:42:51,981 'And now ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure' 533 00:42:52,005 --> 00:42:54,984 to bring you the favorite of all of us as I present 534 00:42:55,008 --> 00:42:56,993 the supreme artiste of the song... 535 00:42:57,017 --> 00:42:59,992 Fuck the artiste! Bring on the freaks! 536 00:43:00,016 --> 00:43:03,986 Did your mother have any children that lived? 537 00:43:04,010 --> 00:43:04,998 Thank you, darling. 538 00:43:05,022 --> 00:43:10,983 And now ladies and gentlemen and nasty little boys 539 00:43:11,007 --> 00:43:13,988 I want to present the queen of the torch song 540 00:43:14,012 --> 00:43:16,993 our very own Virginia Hamm. 541 00:44:38,006 --> 00:44:40,023 These for real, huh? Huh, baby? 542 00:44:59,003 --> 00:45:00,203 Looks like a boiled ham to me. 543 00:45:02,023 --> 00:45:04,022 Baby, show us your dick. 544 00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:06,989 'Come on. Pull it out.' 545 00:45:07,013 --> 00:45:08,996 'Come on. Pull it out. What's the matter?' 546 00:45:09,020 --> 00:45:12,979 Ain't you got one, Huh? Huh? Pull it out. 547 00:45:13,003 --> 00:45:14,980 'Come on, whip it out.' 548 00:45:15,004 --> 00:45:17,015 Hey, sit on this. 549 00:45:20,006 --> 00:45:21,995 Won't you boys, show some respect, huh? 550 00:45:22,019 --> 00:45:25,023 Maybe you'd like me to carve a reminder on your pretty face. 551 00:45:26,001 --> 00:45:27,985 'Gregory.' 552 00:45:28,009 --> 00:45:29,014 Please. 553 00:45:37,001 --> 00:45:38,985 I wasn't gonna hurt him anyway. 554 00:45:39,009 --> 00:45:41,993 Just wanted to teach him a manner or two. 555 00:45:42,017 --> 00:45:45,000 You alright, kid? 556 00:45:47,010 --> 00:45:48,023 Roz. 557 00:45:49,001 --> 00:45:50,981 Put it in my dressing room. 558 00:45:51,005 --> 00:45:52,998 Peter, 1, 2.. 559 00:45:59,006 --> 00:46:00,993 - I see you're alright. - I'm alright. 560 00:46:01,017 --> 00:46:02,994 - Reach the door. - Okay, careful with him. 561 00:46:03,018 --> 00:46:06,985 - He's a person. - I used to be a person. 562 00:46:07,009 --> 00:46:10,009 - Alright, straight in the back. - It figures. 563 00:46:13,007 --> 00:46:13,996 Come on. 564 00:46:14,020 --> 00:46:15,986 Come on. 565 00:46:16,010 --> 00:46:18,005 God. 566 00:46:19,013 --> 00:46:19,998 - Alright? - Yeah. 567 00:46:20,022 --> 00:46:23,022 - Okay, you can dump him here. - Alright. 568 00:46:31,018 --> 00:46:33,989 Here, thanks and close the door on your way out. 569 00:46:34,013 --> 00:46:35,020 Sure. 570 00:47:06,003 --> 00:47:10,006 If you have an IQ over 30, then there is no God. 571 00:47:23,008 --> 00:47:25,014 - Hi. - Hi. 572 00:47:28,015 --> 00:47:30,981 - Who are you? - I've got a better one for you. 573 00:47:31,005 --> 00:47:32,997 - Who are you? - My name's Alan. 574 00:47:33,021 --> 00:47:34,989 Arnold. 575 00:47:35,013 --> 00:47:37,980 Do you remember anything at all about last night? 576 00:47:38,004 --> 00:47:38,994 Not too much. 577 00:47:39,018 --> 00:47:42,991 I don't usually drink, but you know how it is in the holidays. 578 00:47:43,015 --> 00:47:46,985 So you and I met where? 579 00:47:47,009 --> 00:47:49,984 Why don't you go sit down? I'll give you breakfast. 580 00:47:50,008 --> 00:47:54,011 We met at the club East 4th. You seemed to be having trouble. 581 00:47:56,014 --> 00:47:57,989 You were the waiter. 582 00:47:58,013 --> 00:48:00,983 I were the entertainment. 583 00:48:01,007 --> 00:48:02,981 Virginia Hamm. 584 00:48:03,005 --> 00:48:04,992 Oh, you're kidding? 585 00:48:05,016 --> 00:48:07,991 Anyway, you're in Brooklyn. 586 00:48:08,015 --> 00:48:11,996 The subway's up the block. Turn right, three blocks. 587 00:48:12,020 --> 00:48:14,997 And you don't have to worry about anything. 588 00:48:15,021 --> 00:48:18,018 I was a perfect gentleman. 589 00:48:19,017 --> 00:48:21,014 Thanks. 590 00:48:29,017 --> 00:48:33,023 Shit, um, I have a photo shoot today and I'm late. 591 00:48:34,001 --> 00:48:35,988 Um, hello? 592 00:48:36,012 --> 00:48:40,008 Listen, I've gotta run, but I'll call you later, okay? 593 00:48:42,001 --> 00:48:44,001 Hello? 594 00:51:38,002 --> 00:51:38,999 Exactly what I needed.. 595 00:51:39,023 --> 00:51:41,990 Hi, you-you saw me in the audience, right? 596 00:51:42,014 --> 00:51:43,996 Every queen in Harlem saw you in the audience 597 00:51:44,020 --> 00:51:47,993 You were terrific. A little weird, but different. 598 00:51:48,017 --> 00:51:49,023 Thanks. 599 00:51:50,001 --> 00:51:51,988 Hello? I'm another person in the world. 600 00:51:52,012 --> 00:51:54,996 Hi. You know, I hope you don't mind me saying so 601 00:51:55,020 --> 00:51:57,986 but I think that I prefer you in men's clothes. 602 00:51:58,010 --> 00:52:00,022 - Ooh, child. - Well, thanks for dropping by. 603 00:52:01,000 --> 00:52:03,979 Oh, um, I-I brought you something. 604 00:52:04,003 --> 00:52:05,992 I couldn't help but notice that you liked them. 605 00:52:06,016 --> 00:52:07,994 That was really sweet. Thanks. 606 00:52:08,018 --> 00:52:09,991 Look, can I take you to dinner? 607 00:52:10,015 --> 00:52:13,981 - To make up for last night? - Free chow. You got my vote. 608 00:52:14,005 --> 00:52:16,992 Oh, thanks. Maybe another time, huh? 609 00:52:17,016 --> 00:52:19,983 We've really gotta run. You know, it's Christmas 610 00:52:20,007 --> 00:52:22,979 and I never did finish my Christmas shopping. 611 00:52:23,003 --> 00:52:24,997 There's an all-night sale at the market. Thanks though. 612 00:52:25,021 --> 00:52:28,023 - What is the matter with you? - What is wrong with you.. 613 00:52:31,000 --> 00:52:32,984 '...you're full of chicken shit.' 614 00:52:39,022 --> 00:52:42,019 'I came to New York to be gay.' 615 00:52:44,019 --> 00:52:46,984 'I don't have to tell you the kind of reception' 616 00:52:47,008 --> 00:52:49,022 'a 15-year-old barefoot boy with cheek of tan' 617 00:52:50,001 --> 00:52:51,992 'gets in the big apple.' 618 00:52:52,016 --> 00:52:54,990 All any guy I met cared about was my price tag 619 00:52:55,014 --> 00:52:56,984 for the evening. 620 00:52:57,008 --> 00:53:00,983 I figured I needed affection more than they needed the money 621 00:53:01,007 --> 00:53:03,008 so I took it. 622 00:53:06,009 --> 00:53:09,003 'I'm 21, successful..' 623 00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:13,990 ...and still every guy I meet 624 00:53:14,014 --> 00:53:18,008 takes one look at me and all he wants is sex. 625 00:53:19,017 --> 00:53:21,023 Every guy I meet takes one look at me 626 00:53:22,001 --> 00:53:24,007 and all he wants is conversation. 627 00:53:25,021 --> 00:53:27,023 I wouldn't say all. 628 00:53:36,008 --> 00:53:38,012 - Morning. - Morning. 629 00:53:40,013 --> 00:53:41,989 Wh-what do you think? Kate Smith, right? 630 00:53:42,013 --> 00:53:44,023 - Yeah, Judy Canova. - I don't do her. 631 00:53:45,001 --> 00:53:46,988 - Then, put the dress back. - Gentlemen, please.. 632 00:53:47,012 --> 00:53:48,993 Don't lose your beans, honey. We got cash. 633 00:53:49,017 --> 00:53:50,994 Yes. 634 00:53:51,018 --> 00:53:53,997 - What do you think? - Fabulous for Canasta. 635 00:53:54,021 --> 00:53:56,995 Wouldn't you gentlemen feel more comfortable in another store? 636 00:53:57,019 --> 00:53:59,988 Worry not, my dear. We're simply slumming until Halston opens. 637 00:54:00,012 --> 00:54:04,008 - I'm gonna try this one out. - No, no, no, Sir. 638 00:54:07,009 --> 00:54:10,014 Don't look now, but pretty boy has tracked you down again. 639 00:54:11,010 --> 00:54:13,978 Oh, my God. 640 00:54:14,002 --> 00:54:15,602 - Would you stop? - 'Tis love. 'Tis love. 641 00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:18,998 Him looking at you like a 3 year old at his first ice cream cake. 642 00:54:19,022 --> 00:54:20,998 And you're running from him for your life. 643 00:54:21,022 --> 00:54:23,987 Now, honey, my calculus may not be up to snuff 644 00:54:24,011 --> 00:54:25,998 but I still can put two and two together. 645 00:54:26,022 --> 00:54:28,996 And what I get is love. 646 00:54:29,020 --> 00:54:30,998 - May I help you, Sir? - No, thanks. 647 00:54:31,022 --> 00:54:35,012 - Sir. Sir. - Do you have these in a 16? 648 00:54:37,014 --> 00:54:38,979 Arnold? 649 00:54:39,003 --> 00:54:40,980 Yes? 650 00:54:41,004 --> 00:54:42,990 Sorry. 651 00:54:43,014 --> 00:54:44,997 - Arnold? - 'Oh, my God.' 652 00:54:45,021 --> 00:54:48,980 I love the way this drapes on you. 653 00:54:49,004 --> 00:54:52,996 Arnold, I can't think about anybody else but you. 654 00:54:53,020 --> 00:54:55,995 I don't want to see anybody else but you. 655 00:54:56,019 --> 00:55:00,014 I don't even want to talk to anybody else but you. 656 00:55:01,019 --> 00:55:05,016 So... you gonna come out of there? 657 00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:10,991 - Want me to break the door? - I'm calling the police. 658 00:55:11,015 --> 00:55:15,010 Oh, nonsense. Let me see that in his size. 659 00:55:18,022 --> 00:55:21,987 There are a couple of things we better get straight first. 660 00:55:22,011 --> 00:55:24,991 A, I want children. 661 00:55:25,015 --> 00:55:30,022 B, if anyone asks, I'm the pretty one. 662 00:55:34,004 --> 00:55:35,981 'Alan, where the hell are you?' 663 00:55:36,005 --> 00:55:38,008 I had to make a call. 664 00:55:39,015 --> 00:55:41,023 Okay, I'm listening. 665 00:55:42,001 --> 00:55:45,001 - Alright, number three here... - Oh, wait. Wait. 666 00:55:48,007 --> 00:55:51,008 Alright. Let's go. Come on. 667 00:55:53,008 --> 00:55:54,980 Employment, husband. Employment, wife. 668 00:55:55,004 --> 00:55:56,985 I knew one day we'll have to decide. 669 00:55:57,009 --> 00:55:59,992 If we could figure that, we could have our own kids. 670 00:56:00,016 --> 00:56:03,990 - What should I put for age? - Write 54. Let them break it. 671 00:56:04,014 --> 00:56:05,986 - What aged child? - Oh. 672 00:56:06,010 --> 00:56:07,992 Old enough to dust. That's all I care. 673 00:56:08,016 --> 00:56:11,990 'You're listening to the station dedicated to the one you love.' 674 00:56:12,014 --> 00:56:15,986 'So listen up friends, here is the stuff you really like.' 675 00:56:16,010 --> 00:56:16,999 'A 3-year anniversary.' 676 00:56:17,023 --> 00:56:19,990 'A special song for a special couple.' 677 00:56:20,014 --> 00:56:24,992 'For Arnold, with all the love in my soul, from Ellen.' 678 00:56:25,016 --> 00:56:29,001 - Alan, asshole, Alan. - Was that you? 679 00:56:32,016 --> 00:56:34,985 For God's sake, don't cry. 680 00:56:39,007 --> 00:56:40,989 Hello, home wrecker. 681 00:56:41,013 --> 00:56:43,013 Oh, hi, Ma. 682 00:56:44,009 --> 00:56:45,023 Mama, what's wrong? 683 00:56:46,001 --> 00:56:49,988 Arnold, tateleh,I'm sorry. It's your father. 684 00:56:54,001 --> 00:56:55,978 I'll be right there, Mama. 685 00:57:00,020 --> 00:57:02,008 Amen. 686 00:57:08,002 --> 00:57:10,003 Amen. 687 00:57:19,004 --> 00:57:20,987 Thank you so much, rabbi. It was beautiful. 688 00:57:21,011 --> 00:57:23,997 Thank you all for coming. We'll see you back at the house. 689 00:57:24,021 --> 00:57:26,995 Thank you so much for coming so far. 690 00:57:27,019 --> 00:57:30,978 Thank you. You got off from school today, didn't you? 691 00:57:31,002 --> 00:57:33,986 Thank you for coming on such an awful day. 692 00:57:34,010 --> 00:57:36,983 This is where I'll be, between your father and grandfather. 693 00:57:37,007 --> 00:57:39,985 And Phil, over here's for you and your wife and your children. 694 00:57:40,009 --> 00:57:42,983 Tateleh,over here's for you and your wife and your children. 695 00:57:43,007 --> 00:57:45,983 - Oh, Ma. - You'll meet a girl someday. 696 00:57:46,007 --> 00:57:49,023 Believe me, Ma. I know. 697 00:57:50,001 --> 00:57:53,000 God doesn't know. My son knows. 698 00:58:00,014 --> 00:58:01,997 Why are the mirrors covered? 699 00:58:02,021 --> 00:58:05,997 So we don't see the pain in our faces. 700 00:58:06,021 --> 00:58:08,987 And why are you sitting on boxes? 701 00:58:09,011 --> 00:58:12,014 To make sure there's pain in our faces. 702 00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:28,023 You told me he was Jewish. 703 00:58:29,020 --> 00:58:32,010 Out-of-town Jewish. 704 00:58:37,002 --> 00:58:39,022 So, Mama, what're you gonna do? 705 00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:42,982 Are you gonna keep the house? 706 00:58:43,006 --> 00:58:46,978 I'll teach out the term, put the house up for sale.. 707 00:58:47,002 --> 00:58:47,991 ...and go live in Florida. 708 00:58:48,015 --> 00:58:50,985 What are you talking? Florida? Phil and I are here. 709 00:58:51,009 --> 00:58:52,999 That's what we do. We go to Florida. 710 00:58:53,023 --> 00:58:55,984 When my father died my mother went to Florida. 711 00:58:56,008 --> 00:58:57,994 And her mother before that. That's what we do. 712 00:58:58,018 --> 00:58:59,999 We go to Florida. 713 00:59:00,023 --> 00:59:04,006 I don't care what we do. What do you want to do? 714 00:59:07,005 --> 00:59:08,987 I want to die. 715 00:59:09,011 --> 00:59:12,012 Until then I'll go to Florida. 716 00:59:35,006 --> 00:59:36,023 Hello. 717 00:59:37,001 --> 00:59:38,981 'Oh, I woke you?' 718 00:59:39,005 --> 00:59:41,987 Good guess. 719 00:59:44,007 --> 00:59:46,994 - 'Is this Arnold?' - That's what they tell me. 720 00:59:47,018 --> 00:59:48,997 - Who is that? - I don't know. 721 00:59:49,021 --> 00:59:52,989 'Oh, come on. Speak up. I'm a drag queen, not a mind reader.' 722 00:59:53,013 --> 00:59:56,022 Well... I don't know if you'd remember me. 723 00:59:57,000 --> 00:59:58,993 Uh, we have a mutual friend, Ed Reese. 724 00:59:59,017 --> 01:00:02,986 'We met at his place once. My name's Laurel.' 725 01:00:03,010 --> 01:00:04,998 'Uh, Ed and I live together. We're lovers.' 726 01:00:05,022 --> 01:00:07,988 Anyway, we got to talking and thought it'd be nice 727 01:00:08,012 --> 01:00:10,982 to have you up to visit for a few days. 728 01:00:11,006 --> 01:00:12,982 'Hello? Are you with me?' 729 01:00:13,006 --> 01:00:13,994 I'm way ahead of you. 730 01:00:14,018 --> 01:00:16,984 Sorry, I ain't into none of that kinky stuff. 731 01:00:17,008 --> 01:00:18,987 'Ed said you were funny.' 732 01:00:19,011 --> 01:00:20,990 Yeah, right. Tell me, whose idea was this? 733 01:00:21,014 --> 01:00:22,990 'We'd both like you to come.' 734 01:00:23,014 --> 01:00:24,991 Yeah, yeah. Whose idea was it? 735 01:00:25,015 --> 01:00:26,982 What's the difference? 736 01:00:27,006 --> 01:00:28,983 I know how much Ed values your friendship 737 01:00:29,007 --> 01:00:30,999 and the two of you don't get to meet anymore.. 738 01:00:31,023 --> 01:00:33,990 Look, I don't think this is such a good idea. 739 01:00:34,014 --> 01:00:35,979 But thanks for the invite. 740 01:00:36,003 --> 01:00:37,988 - I wanna go. - Are you out of your mind? 741 01:00:38,012 --> 01:00:39,979 - We are going. - We are not. 742 01:00:40,003 --> 01:00:41,989 Shut up. We're going. 743 01:00:45,003 --> 01:00:45,994 Isn't this civilized? 744 01:00:46,018 --> 01:00:48,979 Guests up to our country home for the weekend. 745 01:00:49,003 --> 01:00:49,999 We've had guests before. 746 01:00:50,023 --> 01:00:52,985 We can hardly compare this to having your sister 747 01:00:53,009 --> 01:00:54,983 and her kids or your parents up. 748 01:00:55,007 --> 01:00:59,978 Imagine. Hostess to your lover's ex and his new boyfriend. 749 01:01:00,002 --> 01:01:01,985 Now, that isn't civilized, I don't know what is. 750 01:01:02,009 --> 01:01:04,013 - It's down right.. - Would you stop? 751 01:01:14,004 --> 01:01:15,022 - This is it. - Hi. 752 01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:20,023 Alright, you finally made it. How you doing? Look at this. 753 01:01:21,001 --> 01:01:22,978 - Hi. - Hi. 754 01:01:23,002 --> 01:01:24,981 You look great. 755 01:01:25,005 --> 01:01:26,980 This is Laurel. 756 01:01:27,004 --> 01:01:28,988 - Arnold, Hi. - You're Alan. 757 01:01:29,012 --> 01:01:29,997 Yeah. 758 01:01:30,021 --> 01:01:32,988 - You need help? - Oh, Thanks. 759 01:01:33,012 --> 01:01:34,992 You got it? Good. 760 01:01:35,016 --> 01:01:38,999 This is Laurel, and, uh, come on, let's go on inside. 761 01:01:39,023 --> 01:01:41,982 - Hi, Laurel. - How are you? 762 01:01:42,006 --> 01:01:42,996 Come on in. 763 01:01:43,020 --> 01:01:44,991 Ha ha ha. 764 01:01:45,015 --> 01:01:47,016 Yeah. Ha ha ha. 765 01:02:08,015 --> 01:02:12,023 So, Arnold, Ed tells me you're a transsexual. 766 01:02:13,001 --> 01:02:14,978 - Transvestite. - I'm sorry. 767 01:02:15,002 --> 01:02:17,986 That's alright. Look, actually, I'm just a drag queen. 768 01:02:18,010 --> 01:02:20,979 Did I tell you I'm teaching my classes computers? 769 01:02:21,003 --> 01:02:22,603 - It's an experimental program. - Really? 770 01:02:23,001 --> 01:02:25,983 He's even tried teaching me a thing or two, but I'm baffled. 771 01:02:26,007 --> 01:02:27,981 You know, hardware, software 772 01:02:28,005 --> 01:02:29,991 I can never remember which is which. 773 01:02:30,015 --> 01:02:33,990 Easy. Just remember computers are the opposite of people. 774 01:02:34,014 --> 01:02:36,982 With computers, the software goes into the hardware. 775 01:02:37,006 --> 01:02:37,994 And with people... 776 01:02:38,018 --> 01:02:41,023 My, my! All this good food has just done me in. 777 01:02:42,001 --> 01:02:45,012 What say we hit the hay? Eh? 778 01:02:48,016 --> 01:02:50,982 Did you see how he fawned over Alan at dinner? 779 01:02:51,006 --> 01:02:52,984 He practically cut his steak for him. 780 01:02:53,008 --> 01:02:54,986 No more than I fawned over you. 781 01:02:55,010 --> 01:02:56,983 I did cut your steak. 782 01:02:57,007 --> 01:02:58,980 I could have killed you for that. 783 01:02:59,004 --> 01:02:59,998 The two of you were lovers. 784 01:03:00,022 --> 01:03:03,022 Little games and jealousies are going to pop up. 785 01:03:10,017 --> 01:03:11,999 Did you see how he made such a point 786 01:03:12,023 --> 01:03:15,987 of running off to bed early? Oh, I'm so tired. 787 01:03:16,011 --> 01:03:18,991 All that good food has just done me in. 788 01:03:19,015 --> 01:03:22,983 Hm. If I had someone as pretty as that to go to bed with 789 01:03:23,007 --> 01:03:24,984 I wouldn't have stayed late up either. 790 01:03:25,008 --> 01:03:26,997 - You think he's pretty? - Uh-huh. 791 01:03:27,021 --> 01:03:28,995 Don't you think he's a little young? 792 01:03:29,019 --> 01:03:34,995 Uh-uh. You hear the way their bed springs were squeaking? 793 01:03:35,019 --> 01:03:40,990 I think that I do pretty well in the squeaking departments. 794 01:03:41,014 --> 01:03:42,979 Oh, you do. 795 01:03:43,003 --> 01:03:45,991 Yeah, making certain allowances for wear and tear. 796 01:03:46,015 --> 01:03:49,978 Oh, no. Too early in the race to make a plea for sympathy. 797 01:03:50,002 --> 01:03:52,981 Oh, you want to race? Ok. We'll race. 798 01:03:53,005 --> 01:03:55,006 May the best man win. 799 01:04:04,003 --> 01:04:07,979 Jesus! Do you hear that? 800 01:04:12,006 --> 01:04:14,978 Oh, baby, talk dirty to me. 801 01:04:15,002 --> 01:04:16,997 Well, go outside and listen at their door. 802 01:04:17,021 --> 01:04:19,988 Give my best to the bisexuals. 803 01:04:20,012 --> 01:04:21,995 Only he's bisexual. She's straight. 804 01:04:22,019 --> 01:04:27,982 Too bad mixed marriages never work. 805 01:04:28,006 --> 01:04:32,988 - So what do you think? - About what? 806 01:04:33,012 --> 01:04:36,980 Seeing Ed again with me to compare him to. 807 01:04:37,004 --> 01:04:39,988 Is that what we're doin' here? 808 01:04:40,012 --> 01:04:42,991 He ain't so hot. 809 01:04:43,015 --> 01:04:45,995 Not hot enough to be the great love of your life anyway. 810 01:04:46,019 --> 01:04:48,994 I never said he was the great love of my life. 811 01:04:49,018 --> 01:04:50,993 He's got his good points though. 812 01:04:51,017 --> 01:04:53,989 He's good-natured, good-looking, good in bed. 813 01:04:54,013 --> 01:04:55,023 Good and boring. 814 01:04:56,001 --> 01:04:57,989 He's not good and boring. 815 01:04:58,013 --> 01:05:00,979 He's just plain boring. 816 01:05:01,003 --> 01:05:05,993 - But you loved him, right? - I guess so. 817 01:05:06,017 --> 01:05:08,981 He loved you. 818 01:05:09,005 --> 01:05:11,989 I see the way he looks at you. 819 01:05:12,013 --> 01:05:16,991 - Why did you two break up? - We wanted different things. 820 01:05:17,015 --> 01:05:18,022 Like what? 821 01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:23,011 I wanted a husband. He wanted a wife. 822 01:05:39,015 --> 01:05:40,989 That was delicious, Laurel. 823 01:05:41,013 --> 01:05:43,978 Isn't she a great cook, besides being beautiful? 824 01:05:44,002 --> 01:05:46,988 - Just delicious. - I bet I gained five pounds. 825 01:05:47,012 --> 01:05:49,993 Ed, why don't you take Arnold and Alan out to the barn 826 01:05:50,017 --> 01:05:51,992 and show them our new canning machine? 827 01:05:52,016 --> 01:05:53,995 We can all of our vegetables, you know. 828 01:05:54,019 --> 01:05:55,994 Thanks. I've seen the barn. 829 01:05:56,018 --> 01:05:58,996 Ed, why don't you take Alan out and show it to him? 830 01:05:59,020 --> 01:06:01,996 He's the real can connoisseur in the family. 831 01:06:02,020 --> 01:06:03,997 I'll stay and help Laurel with the dishes. 832 01:06:04,021 --> 01:06:06,999 We're yet to have a moment alone to compare notes on you. 833 01:06:07,023 --> 01:06:08,995 Oh, just what she's been waiting for. 834 01:06:09,019 --> 01:06:12,990 - Ed! - Mind if I steal the brandy? 835 01:06:13,014 --> 01:06:14,020 Come on. 836 01:06:18,016 --> 01:06:20,020 Stuck with the dishes. 837 01:06:23,019 --> 01:06:25,021 It's right up there. 838 01:06:27,019 --> 01:06:29,999 Tell me about you. That's the reason we're here. 839 01:06:30,023 --> 01:06:33,013 - Is it? - Sure is. 840 01:06:34,022 --> 01:06:35,999 Wasn't going to let this opportunity 841 01:06:36,023 --> 01:06:37,998 to meet my competition go by. 842 01:06:38,022 --> 01:06:42,017 - I'm no competition. - I am. 843 01:06:44,011 --> 01:06:46,990 - So talk. - Why don't you ask Arnold? 844 01:06:47,014 --> 01:06:49,980 I'm sure he has lots to say on the subject. 845 01:06:50,004 --> 01:06:51,986 He says you're a boring, self-centered 846 01:06:52,010 --> 01:06:53,990 insensitive old fool who wouldn't know love 847 01:06:54,014 --> 01:06:57,022 if it wore wings, diaper and shot heart shaped arrows 848 01:06:58,000 --> 01:06:58,988 at your butt. 849 01:06:59,012 --> 01:07:01,988 - Anything you'd care to add? - No. That'll do. 850 01:07:02,012 --> 01:07:03,986 What do you think? 851 01:07:04,010 --> 01:07:04,999 I think I'll reserve my judgment 852 01:07:05,023 --> 01:07:08,010 until I can make a closer inspection. 853 01:07:23,013 --> 01:07:24,994 Close enough? 854 01:07:25,018 --> 01:07:29,007 You asked me to sit in the hay, not roll in it. 855 01:07:34,018 --> 01:07:36,981 I think you're very beautiful. 856 01:07:37,005 --> 01:07:39,991 I thought you were reformed. 857 01:07:40,015 --> 01:07:42,018 You want me to stop.. 858 01:07:46,007 --> 01:07:48,008 ...just say so. 859 01:07:51,006 --> 01:07:52,018 Do you? 860 01:07:56,017 --> 01:07:59,012 I didn't think so. 861 01:08:07,020 --> 01:08:08,995 Let's go. 862 01:08:09,019 --> 01:08:10,994 I'm sorry you couldn't stay for supper. 863 01:08:11,018 --> 01:08:13,982 - Yeah, so are we, Arnold. - Yes. It's a shame. 864 01:08:14,006 --> 01:08:15,981 Laurel, Listen, I'll call you. 865 01:08:16,005 --> 01:08:17,984 - And thanks. - Drive safe, okay? 866 01:08:18,008 --> 01:08:19,985 What the hell's wrong with you? 867 01:08:20,009 --> 01:08:21,986 - I'm driving. - Okay, bye. 868 01:08:22,010 --> 01:08:23,982 Hey, give us a call anytime. 869 01:08:24,006 --> 01:08:25,978 Maybe we'll do it again sometime. 870 01:08:26,002 --> 01:08:27,242 'Yeah. Sounds good to me.' 871 01:08:28,001 --> 01:08:29,986 - 'What's wrong with you?' - 'Take it easy.' 872 01:08:30,010 --> 01:08:32,014 'Let's just get out of here.' 873 01:09:00,019 --> 01:09:00,997 Oh, I'm sorry. 874 01:09:01,021 --> 01:09:02,987 I thought you weren't at home 875 01:09:03,011 --> 01:09:04,990 and I was working out some frustration. 876 01:09:05,014 --> 01:09:07,985 And I thank you for it. Come on in. 877 01:09:08,009 --> 01:09:09,984 - Is Alan here? - No. 878 01:09:10,008 --> 01:09:12,016 He had some early appointments. 879 01:09:16,021 --> 01:09:17,979 Are you alright? 880 01:09:18,003 --> 01:09:20,006 I could use some caffeine. 881 01:09:23,003 --> 01:09:26,991 I can't believe how I misjudged your relationship with Alan. 882 01:09:27,015 --> 01:09:29,992 Actually, you're so perfect together. 883 01:09:30,016 --> 01:09:31,992 I'm certain you'll work everything out. 884 01:09:32,016 --> 01:09:34,980 I wasn't aware of anything that needed working out. 885 01:09:35,004 --> 01:09:36,995 - You two didn't have words? - None we haven't used before. 886 01:09:37,019 --> 01:09:39,022 You mean what happened between Ed and Alan 887 01:09:40,000 --> 01:09:41,999 'doesn't bother you at all?' 888 01:09:42,023 --> 01:09:43,984 What? 889 01:09:44,008 --> 01:09:45,979 You blurted it out just like that? 890 01:09:46,003 --> 01:09:47,980 Thought he knew. It was a friendly remark. 891 01:09:48,004 --> 01:09:49,983 With friends like her who needs divorce court! 892 01:09:50,007 --> 01:09:52,982 - Why'd you think I left him? - 'Cause of something I said. 893 01:09:53,006 --> 01:09:55,206 - You gonna tell Laurel? - What I do is my own business. 894 01:09:56,001 --> 01:09:57,996 Ed told me about it after you left. He was crying. 895 01:09:58,020 --> 01:10:00,999 I was dumbfounded. I didn't know which one of us to comfort. 896 01:10:01,023 --> 01:10:03,982 - All you had to do is ask. - Ask what? 897 01:10:04,006 --> 01:10:05,984 Not to fool around. And I wouldn't. 898 01:10:06,008 --> 01:10:06,992 You never asked me? 899 01:10:07,016 --> 01:10:08,987 I wanted you to feel you could. 900 01:10:09,011 --> 01:10:11,022 You mean you wanted me to feel that you could. 901 01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:13,360 For once I'd love to have an affair 902 01:10:14,001 --> 01:10:15,985 go on the rocks after the passion wears off? 903 01:10:16,009 --> 01:10:17,997 Your the one who that wanted this weekend and wanted.. 904 01:10:18,021 --> 01:10:21,022 Just 'cause I said that's what I wanted doesn't mean I wanted. 905 01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:23,999 May be, what I wanted. Doesn't mean I'm ready for it. 906 01:10:24,023 --> 01:10:26,023 - You want me see other men? - No. 907 01:10:27,001 --> 01:10:30,982 - I want you to feel you can. - I do and I did! 908 01:10:31,006 --> 01:10:33,985 Just once, I'd like to be standing on sure ground 909 01:10:34,009 --> 01:10:35,990 when the blow hits, instead of crawling around 910 01:10:36,014 --> 01:10:37,990 on my hands and knees like a baby. 911 01:10:38,014 --> 01:10:40,983 There's something I want to ask you. 912 01:10:41,007 --> 01:10:41,989 The answer's yes. 913 01:10:42,013 --> 01:10:43,987 You don't even know the question. 914 01:10:44,011 --> 01:10:46,980 I'm too tired to argue anymore, so whatever it is 915 01:10:47,004 --> 01:10:47,997 my answer's yes. 916 01:10:48,021 --> 01:10:49,989 Good. 917 01:10:50,013 --> 01:10:53,002 'Cause I love you too. 918 01:10:59,002 --> 01:11:00,978 'That's it, Alan. Come on, yes.' 919 01:11:01,002 --> 01:11:02,978 'Now, pour the man some champagne.' 920 01:11:03,002 --> 01:11:04,978 'That's it. Don't give him a bath.' 921 01:11:05,002 --> 01:11:05,992 Oh, yes, your looking beautiful. Beautiful. 922 01:11:06,016 --> 01:11:10,978 Alan, give me a smile. Wonderful. Yes. 923 01:11:11,002 --> 01:11:13,986 Hi, Arnold. Alan, take five. 924 01:11:14,010 --> 01:11:16,997 Shelley, stay there. 925 01:11:17,021 --> 01:11:18,995 Can somebody focus this light here? 926 01:11:19,019 --> 01:11:21,986 Shelley, come over here. I wanna do something.. 927 01:11:22,010 --> 01:11:25,990 Yeah. Fix that little spot over there. 928 01:11:35,010 --> 01:11:36,991 - Bad news? - What? 929 01:11:37,015 --> 01:11:39,022 - Who's the letter from? - Ah, Laurel. 930 01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:40,999 They're getting married. 931 01:11:41,023 --> 01:11:42,996 - You're kidding? - No. 932 01:11:43,020 --> 01:11:45,992 "And so we figured, two years after that wonderful weekend 933 01:11:46,016 --> 01:11:48,983 "ha ha ha, well, if we could survive that together 934 01:11:49,007 --> 01:11:50,983 "then we could make it through anything 935 01:11:51,007 --> 01:11:52,287 "and so we'll be tying the knot." 936 01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:54,994 I think we should take their example and get married. 937 01:11:55,018 --> 01:11:56,023 Yeah. Sure. 938 01:11:57,001 --> 01:11:58,984 Any day now a giant stork is gonna come 939 01:11:59,008 --> 01:12:00,996 rapping on our door with a bundle of joy. 940 01:12:01,020 --> 01:12:03,998 I think the kid deserves legitimate parents. 941 01:12:04,022 --> 01:12:08,022 - What are you talking about? - The institute called. 942 01:12:09,000 --> 01:12:09,999 - We're going to have a baby. - You.. 943 01:12:10,023 --> 01:12:13,979 Yeah. We gotta find an apartment fast. 944 01:12:14,003 --> 01:12:17,980 They won't give him to us until he can have a room of his own. 945 01:12:18,004 --> 01:12:19,984 - Him? - His name is David. 946 01:12:20,008 --> 01:12:22,987 He's 15, troubled, abused. 947 01:12:23,011 --> 01:12:24,998 - He's also gay. - Oye. 948 01:12:25,022 --> 01:12:26,997 So will you? 949 01:12:27,021 --> 01:12:31,000 - What? - Marry me. 950 01:12:55,012 --> 01:12:57,987 Excuse me. Sorry. 951 01:12:58,011 --> 01:13:00,014 Welcome to the neighborhood. 952 01:13:06,008 --> 01:13:07,989 Fabulous. 953 01:13:08,013 --> 01:13:09,999 Really terrific neighborhood you picked here. 954 01:13:10,023 --> 01:13:12,980 It's barely dark, and they're out in numbers. 955 01:13:13,004 --> 01:13:15,989 Maybe we should get an infrared telescope for the living room. 956 01:13:16,013 --> 01:13:19,015 - Great way to bring up a child. - 'Lift, lift.' 957 01:13:23,019 --> 01:13:26,023 - Are we going to have a dog? - Why? What for? 958 01:13:27,001 --> 01:13:29,985 - For the kid. - That's a great idea. 959 01:13:30,009 --> 01:13:31,985 What kind should we get? 960 01:13:32,009 --> 01:13:33,989 The kind that can walk in the park. 961 01:13:34,013 --> 01:13:36,997 You're a funny guy. Real funny. 962 01:13:37,021 --> 01:13:39,999 Wait. Okay. Push. Okay. 963 01:13:40,023 --> 01:13:43,002 God, I feel so butch. 964 01:13:45,007 --> 01:13:46,990 Hey, should you be carrying this in your condition? 965 01:13:47,014 --> 01:13:49,987 Shouldn't you be lying down with your feet up or something? 966 01:13:50,011 --> 01:13:51,996 You're even starting to look like a mother. 967 01:13:52,020 --> 01:13:54,988 - Gray hair and all. - I do not have gray hair. 968 01:13:55,012 --> 01:13:56,986 I can see it from here. 969 01:13:57,010 --> 01:13:58,996 Yeah, well you gave me every one of 'em. 970 01:13:59,020 --> 01:14:01,007 My old man. 971 01:14:03,021 --> 01:14:05,984 What if he hates us? 972 01:14:06,008 --> 01:14:10,000 - I'm hungry. Let's go eat. - I'm tired. Let's go to bed. 973 01:14:13,016 --> 01:14:14,980 Where? 974 01:14:15,004 --> 01:14:15,998 Oops. 975 01:14:16,022 --> 01:14:17,999 Well, why don't you go get some take-out? 976 01:14:18,023 --> 01:14:21,981 And I'll see what I can do with the bedroom. 977 01:14:22,005 --> 01:14:23,999 - Dinner in bed. - By candlelight? 978 01:14:24,023 --> 01:14:27,010 Buy candles. 979 01:14:43,001 --> 01:14:43,987 Sorry. 980 01:14:44,011 --> 01:14:47,982 You fuckin' watch where you're goin'. 981 01:14:48,006 --> 01:14:52,000 - Fuckin' faggot. - Hey, not out here, man. 982 01:14:58,000 --> 01:14:59,988 Alan! 983 01:15:00,012 --> 01:15:02,002 Bring champagne. 984 01:15:06,018 --> 01:15:09,007 I can't believe he said that you. 985 01:15:24,014 --> 01:15:24,997 What's going on? 986 01:15:25,021 --> 01:15:26,997 Some punks are swinging bats at everyone. 987 01:15:27,021 --> 01:15:29,978 - They got some guy cornered. - Call the cops. 988 01:15:30,002 --> 01:15:32,978 They're beatin' on fags! You think the cops give a shit? 989 01:15:33,002 --> 01:15:35,004 Call the cops! Now! 990 01:15:41,006 --> 01:15:43,003 Over there. 991 01:15:47,008 --> 01:15:48,015 Hey! 992 01:15:49,023 --> 01:15:50,980 Hey! 993 01:15:51,004 --> 01:15:53,005 Give me the bat. 994 01:15:57,002 --> 01:15:59,005 'Let him go.' 995 01:16:02,005 --> 01:16:04,007 Come on. I said, "let him go." 996 01:16:05,011 --> 01:16:08,003 Oh, geez. 997 01:17:00,022 --> 01:17:03,002 'Come on. Give it back.' 998 01:17:13,019 --> 01:17:15,986 Move it back. 999 01:17:16,010 --> 01:17:19,004 'Hey, you back there, get back in the car.' 1000 01:17:22,010 --> 01:17:23,985 I don't know what happened. 1001 01:17:24,009 --> 01:17:27,012 You'll read about it in the morning. Come on. 1002 01:17:53,004 --> 01:17:55,009 Alright, break it up. 1003 01:18:47,017 --> 01:18:48,995 'Stop it!' 1004 01:18:49,019 --> 01:18:50,998 Stop it! 1005 01:18:51,022 --> 01:18:53,021 Please, stop it! 1006 01:18:57,021 --> 01:18:59,004 Stop! 1007 01:19:00,023 --> 01:19:02,005 Stop! 1008 01:19:05,018 --> 01:19:07,984 I've called your mothers and I don't want a sound 1009 01:19:08,008 --> 01:19:11,022 out of either one of you until they get here. 1010 01:19:12,000 --> 01:19:13,006 Your mother? 1011 01:19:15,022 --> 01:19:18,004 Hey, I didn't say nothing, lady. 1012 01:19:41,006 --> 01:19:42,988 You are going to pay for this, young man. 1013 01:19:43,012 --> 01:19:46,983 How could you get into a fight today of all days. 1014 01:19:47,007 --> 01:19:49,981 Believe me young man. I won't soon forget about this. 1015 01:19:50,005 --> 01:19:52,984 Yeah, you think I'll ever forget you showin' up in that outfit? 1016 01:19:53,008 --> 01:19:55,980 They called and told me you were hurt in a fight. 1017 01:19:56,004 --> 01:19:59,004 What did you want me to do, put on a tux? 1018 01:20:03,023 --> 01:20:04,996 Looks like he survived. 1019 01:20:05,020 --> 01:20:06,997 What are you doing home from work? 1020 01:20:07,021 --> 01:20:08,999 Brooklyn Day. My school's closed. 1021 01:20:09,023 --> 01:20:10,995 What died in here? 1022 01:20:11,019 --> 01:20:12,984 It's breakfast, I cooked it myself. 1023 01:20:13,008 --> 01:20:14,995 - Toast for me I'm on a diet. - Since when? 1024 01:20:15,019 --> 01:20:16,022 1961. 1025 01:20:18,022 --> 01:20:20,983 Got a steak I could put on my eye? 1026 01:20:21,007 --> 01:20:21,987 Use ice cubes. 1027 01:20:22,011 --> 01:20:23,991 When I think of that kid hittin' you.. 1028 01:20:24,015 --> 01:20:25,991 And for that he gets two days suspension. 1029 01:20:26,015 --> 01:20:27,980 I gotta go see his principal. 1030 01:20:28,004 --> 01:20:29,284 What did you fight about anyway? 1031 01:20:30,001 --> 01:20:31,983 He called me a douchebag. So, I slugged him. 1032 01:20:32,007 --> 01:20:35,008 - How '50s. - Have a seat. Soup's on. 1033 01:20:37,008 --> 01:20:40,014 Here we go. Hm. 1034 01:20:43,020 --> 01:20:44,996 Okay, dig in. 1035 01:20:45,020 --> 01:20:50,006 - This is a joke, right? - I cooked. You'll eat. 1036 01:20:56,012 --> 01:20:58,998 I'm going apartment hunting this afternoon. Care to join me? 1037 01:20:59,022 --> 01:21:03,988 Hey, what's the rush? I like having you here. 1038 01:21:04,012 --> 01:21:06,983 Can I have the ketchup? 1039 01:21:07,007 --> 01:21:08,998 The couch and I are not speaking. 1040 01:21:09,022 --> 01:21:11,990 It's only your 4th night. You'll get used to it. 1041 01:21:12,014 --> 01:21:13,989 Can I have the mustard? 1042 01:21:14,013 --> 01:21:15,989 Is something wrong with the food? 1043 01:21:16,013 --> 01:21:18,023 Not at all. Very tasty. 1044 01:21:19,001 --> 01:21:20,979 How about the mayo? 1045 01:21:21,003 --> 01:21:22,011 Hold the mayo. 1046 01:21:24,022 --> 01:21:26,994 Oh, yeah, your wife called in the middle of the night. 1047 01:21:27,018 --> 01:21:29,992 I tried to wake you, but you were out of it. 1048 01:21:30,016 --> 01:21:31,989 Oh, I guess I better call her. 1049 01:21:32,013 --> 01:21:34,985 'Help yourself to seconds. There's plenty.' 1050 01:21:35,009 --> 01:21:37,010 And I was worried. 1051 01:21:38,017 --> 01:21:39,993 David, you finish cleaning up your room? 1052 01:21:40,017 --> 01:21:41,994 'Oh, what do I gotta clean for?' 1053 01:21:42,018 --> 01:21:43,987 My mother, tomorrow, coming here. 1054 01:21:44,011 --> 01:21:45,993 Lock the door and tell her it's a closet. 1055 01:21:46,017 --> 01:21:48,991 She doesn't know about me, why let her into my room. 1056 01:21:49,015 --> 01:21:50,993 - Who's on the phone? - Ed. 1057 01:21:51,017 --> 01:21:53,981 Alright. Alright. 1058 01:21:54,005 --> 01:21:56,991 Yeah, um, yeah. 1:30 at Greenfields. Yep. 1059 01:21:57,015 --> 01:21:58,988 Okay. Bye-bye. 1060 01:21:59,012 --> 01:22:00,998 She give you a bad time, huh? 1061 01:22:01,022 --> 01:22:02,996 Four days of those calls 1062 01:22:03,020 --> 01:22:04,998 you'd think I'd start getting used to them. 1063 01:22:05,022 --> 01:22:07,983 I don't know why she always has to cry. 1064 01:22:08,007 --> 01:22:09,996 I mean, this separation wasn't all my idea. 1065 01:22:10,020 --> 01:22:12,990 Ed! I don't want to hear what you have to say. 1066 01:22:13,014 --> 01:22:15,998 'Cause believe me, you don't want to hear what I have to say. 1067 01:22:16,022 --> 01:22:18,981 Well, I'd love to sit around chewin' the fat 1068 01:22:19,005 --> 01:22:21,978 with you grown-up types, but I got a life to live. 1069 01:22:22,002 --> 01:22:23,990 - Take a glass of milk. - I had milk. 1070 01:22:24,014 --> 01:22:26,997 - Then go brush your teeth. - Oh, ma! 1071 01:22:27,021 --> 01:22:31,002 Don't you "oh, ma" me. March. 1072 01:22:32,012 --> 01:22:35,022 And don't call me, ma in front of my mother. 1073 01:22:39,022 --> 01:22:42,978 Having a good time, Leonora? 1074 01:22:43,002 --> 01:22:43,999 Oh, Ed, two favors. 1075 01:22:44,023 --> 01:22:46,980 My mother wants to go to the cemetery tomorrow. 1076 01:22:47,004 --> 01:22:49,992 So have you got the number of that car service that you use? 1077 01:22:50,016 --> 01:22:51,984 - Yeah, sure. - And uh.. 1078 01:22:52,008 --> 01:22:53,996 David's social worker will be coming on Thursday 1079 01:22:54,020 --> 01:22:56,983 so could you stay somewhere else? 1080 01:22:57,007 --> 01:22:59,987 Oh, I'm good enough for your mother, but I'm not good enough 1081 01:23:00,011 --> 01:23:01,986 for David's social worker? 1082 01:23:02,010 --> 01:23:03,992 It has nothing to do with being good enough. 1083 01:23:04,016 --> 01:23:06,297 It's just that Ms. Schnabel frowns on casual cohabitation. 1084 01:23:07,001 --> 01:23:08,991 I've got enough to explain without you on the couch. 1085 01:23:09,015 --> 01:23:10,998 Casual? We've known each other for nine years. 1086 01:23:11,022 --> 01:23:13,023 Seven of which you spent with another woman. 1087 01:23:14,001 --> 01:23:15,984 - But I'm sleeping on the couch. - Ed! 1088 01:23:16,008 --> 01:23:17,991 Okay, maybe I should just find a hotel room. 1089 01:23:18,015 --> 01:23:19,998 And leave me unprotected at a time like this? 1090 01:23:20,022 --> 01:23:22,982 You know my mother isn't exactly going to feature 1091 01:23:23,006 --> 01:23:24,978 the idea of my becoming a father. 1092 01:23:25,002 --> 01:23:26,990 Your opinion as an American educator will prove invaluable. 1093 01:23:27,014 --> 01:23:28,985 She'll say I'm prejudiced. 1094 01:23:29,009 --> 01:23:31,986 She'll say a lot a things, you'll learn not to listen. 1095 01:23:32,010 --> 01:23:33,997 - David, I'm leaving. - I'll miss you. 1096 01:23:34,021 --> 01:23:36,986 Make sure he calls somebody for his homework. 1097 01:23:37,010 --> 01:23:40,985 No TV till it's done. And bedtime 11:00 p.m. sharp. 1098 01:23:41,009 --> 01:23:43,985 - But I got no school tomorrow. - It's still a school night. 1099 01:23:44,009 --> 01:23:45,016 We'll be fine. 1100 01:23:47,012 --> 01:23:48,021 David! 1101 01:23:49,023 --> 01:23:51,008 Get over here! 1102 01:23:53,020 --> 01:23:55,980 What the hell is wrong with you? 1103 01:23:56,004 --> 01:24:01,023 I don't get no kiss goodbye? 1104 01:24:02,001 --> 01:24:06,007 - I love you. - I love you too... ma! 1105 01:24:12,021 --> 01:24:14,022 So the new career is a reality. 1106 01:24:15,000 --> 01:24:16,520 Just don't forget who your friends are. 1107 01:24:17,001 --> 01:24:18,979 You know, when I started, in this business 1108 01:24:19,003 --> 01:24:20,985 I looked like a young Joan Crawford. 1109 01:24:21,009 --> 01:24:23,987 Ten years later, Marjorie Main. 1110 01:24:24,011 --> 01:24:26,989 I swear I'm aging about as well as a beach party movie. 1111 01:24:27,013 --> 01:24:28,997 Mmm, I'm happy for you. You've got it all. 1112 01:24:29,021 --> 01:24:31,978 Now, if that idiot Ed would just settle down.. 1113 01:24:32,002 --> 01:24:34,986 You must be dying for a slap. That's the last thing I need. 1114 01:24:35,010 --> 01:24:37,990 That's precisely my point. Ed is the very last thing you need. 1115 01:24:38,014 --> 01:24:39,989 You've got the rest. Nice apartment, good job 1116 01:24:40,013 --> 01:24:42,994 money enough to keep your figure and someone who depends on you. 1117 01:24:43,018 --> 01:24:45,995 Now what you need is someone on whom you can depend. 1118 01:24:46,019 --> 01:24:48,998 - Ed? Get real. - People change. 1119 01:24:49,022 --> 01:24:52,023 Alan died, honey, not you. 1120 01:26:03,019 --> 01:26:06,006 How Alice Faye can I get? 1121 01:26:11,016 --> 01:26:13,989 'It's 7:18 in the Big Apple.' 1122 01:26:14,013 --> 01:26:15,988 'This is High Tide with a dedication' 1123 01:26:16,012 --> 01:26:19,001 'from Butchie to Judy.' 1124 01:26:22,005 --> 01:26:23,990 Think we should wake him? What if he oversleeps? 1125 01:26:24,014 --> 01:26:26,986 - I'm not gonna survive! - He's up. 1126 01:26:27,010 --> 01:26:28,988 David, What are you doing in that kitchen? 1127 01:26:29,012 --> 01:26:30,987 I cleaned until 5:00 in the morning! 1128 01:26:31,011 --> 01:26:33,989 - Where am I supposed to eat? - You ever hear of a restaurant. 1129 01:26:34,013 --> 01:26:36,993 They cook and clean for you and my mother don't go there. 1130 01:26:37,017 --> 01:26:38,995 Well, lemme break the good news to her. 1131 01:26:39,019 --> 01:26:40,993 The suit should help soften the blow. 1132 01:26:41,017 --> 01:26:42,999 - It's for David's Principal. - What, no bunny slippers? 1133 01:26:43,023 --> 01:26:45,992 Ed, the phone number of that car service you promised? 1134 01:26:46,016 --> 01:26:48,980 - Here. When do you expect her? - I don't know. 1135 01:26:49,004 --> 01:26:50,993 She said early flight. I figure around noon. 1136 01:26:51,017 --> 01:26:53,987 David! Get over here. 1137 01:26:54,011 --> 01:26:56,984 Now, listen to me. I want you to cleanup that kitchen. 1138 01:26:57,008 --> 01:26:57,997 Get your butt over to Murray's. 1139 01:26:58,021 --> 01:27:00,983 And don't come home until I call you, huh? 1140 01:27:01,007 --> 01:27:03,011 Yeah, ma. 1141 01:27:06,008 --> 01:27:06,997 What? 1142 01:27:07,021 --> 01:27:10,023 After all this time, why have you not told her about David? 1143 01:27:11,001 --> 01:27:12,998 I told my mother, but she assumed he was my roommate. 1144 01:27:13,022 --> 01:27:14,989 I didn't bother to correct her. 1145 01:27:15,013 --> 01:27:17,989 I was crazy then. Alan had just died. 1146 01:27:18,013 --> 01:27:19,990 I never told her how he was killed. 1147 01:27:20,014 --> 01:27:21,985 She assumed it was a car accident. 1148 01:27:22,009 --> 01:27:22,993 - I didn't correct her. - Unbelievable. 1149 01:27:23,017 --> 01:27:24,981 What's unbelievable? 1150 01:27:25,005 --> 01:27:26,985 You still haven't told your parents you're gay. 1151 01:27:27,009 --> 01:27:28,987 Bisexual. Thank you. 1152 01:27:29,011 --> 01:27:30,995 I told my mother when I was 13. 1153 01:27:31,019 --> 01:27:34,985 - You knew when you were 13? - At 13, I knew everything. 1154 01:27:35,009 --> 01:27:37,979 Senility set in sometime after. 1155 01:27:38,003 --> 01:27:39,023 'Hello, Murray? Hi.' 1156 01:27:40,001 --> 01:27:42,992 Listen, I won't be coming over today, man. 1157 01:27:43,016 --> 01:27:45,986 I got a temperature. And, um.. 1158 01:27:46,010 --> 01:27:47,993 ...Arnold told me to stay here in bed. 1159 01:27:48,017 --> 01:27:51,978 Yeah. Oh, it's terrible. At least 102. 1160 01:27:53,021 --> 01:27:57,001 I got to go, Murray. I'm very weak. Bye. 1161 01:28:13,003 --> 01:28:13,990 - Is this a playground? - Yeah. 1162 01:28:14,014 --> 01:28:15,978 Thank you. 1163 01:28:16,002 --> 01:28:18,987 Was a pleasure meeting you all. Not one who gave me a seat. 1164 01:28:19,011 --> 01:28:23,007 Thanks to you, gentlemen, I now have varicose veins. 1165 01:28:32,003 --> 01:28:32,999 Wait, I got it. 1166 01:28:33,023 --> 01:28:34,985 - Hey! - What? 1167 01:28:35,009 --> 01:28:36,991 - Help! Mugger! - What? I'm not a mugger. 1168 01:28:37,015 --> 01:28:38,022 You're a rapist.. 1169 01:28:39,000 --> 01:28:40,987 Would a rapist wear a three-piece suit? Ouch. 1170 01:28:41,011 --> 01:28:43,022 How do I know? Maybe you got a wedding after. 1171 01:28:44,000 --> 01:28:44,997 No, listen, Arnold had to go somewhere. 1172 01:28:45,021 --> 01:28:47,995 So I waited for you, incase you got here before him. 1173 01:28:48,019 --> 01:28:50,978 Oh. I'm sorry I kicked you. 1174 01:28:51,002 --> 01:28:53,992 This is very, very nice of you to meet me. 1175 01:28:54,016 --> 01:28:55,979 No sweat. 1176 01:28:56,003 --> 01:28:57,983 I see Arnold left you his keys. 1177 01:28:58,007 --> 01:29:01,008 - I got my own set. - Oh, really? 1178 01:29:02,012 --> 01:29:03,988 This is probably none of my business 1179 01:29:04,012 --> 01:29:05,988 and I hope you don't mind my asking. 1180 01:29:06,012 --> 01:29:07,996 - Just who the hell are you? - I'm David. 1181 01:29:08,020 --> 01:29:13,021 - David. The neighbor's kid? - I live with Arnold. 1182 01:29:16,004 --> 01:29:17,997 - Would you like a drink? - Maybe later. 1183 01:29:18,021 --> 01:29:20,993 Come on in. 1184 01:29:21,017 --> 01:29:22,999 We've got everything all worked out for you 1185 01:29:23,023 --> 01:29:24,998 even with Ed staying here. 1186 01:29:25,022 --> 01:29:28,983 - Ed? - Arnold's friend. 1187 01:29:29,007 --> 01:29:30,995 Friend friend or euphemism friend? 1188 01:29:31,019 --> 01:29:33,992 He used to be a euphemism. Now he's just a friend. 1189 01:29:34,016 --> 01:29:35,991 But with you stayin' here 1190 01:29:36,015 --> 01:29:37,998 they'll both be sleeping on the couch. 1191 01:29:38,022 --> 01:29:40,010 Who knows? 1192 01:29:43,019 --> 01:29:46,992 - Have they got water here? - Sure. 1193 01:29:47,016 --> 01:29:49,983 We cleaned all week for you. What do you think? 1194 01:29:50,007 --> 01:29:52,985 I think we should sit down. 1195 01:29:53,009 --> 01:29:55,988 Eh, David, tell me, you go to school? 1196 01:29:56,012 --> 01:29:56,993 Yeah. 1197 01:29:57,017 --> 01:29:58,992 Hey, are these oranges from Florida? 1198 01:29:59,016 --> 01:30:01,994 Cuba. We were hijacked. But I'm not one to complain. 1199 01:30:02,018 --> 01:30:04,020 - Funny. - Ha ha. Thanks. 1200 01:30:08,007 --> 01:30:08,999 So.. 1201 01:30:09,023 --> 01:30:11,987 - You go to college? - High school. 1202 01:30:12,011 --> 01:30:14,981 High school, how nice. 1203 01:30:15,005 --> 01:30:17,981 - Senior? - Freshman. 1204 01:30:18,005 --> 01:30:18,993 Freshman. 1205 01:30:19,017 --> 01:30:20,996 That's very sweet. 1206 01:30:21,020 --> 01:30:24,987 Tell me, David, just how old are you? 1207 01:30:25,011 --> 01:30:27,982 Sixteen! 1208 01:30:28,006 --> 01:30:29,022 In two months. 1209 01:30:33,002 --> 01:30:34,995 Something wrong? 1210 01:30:35,019 --> 01:30:36,979 Not at all. 1211 01:30:37,003 --> 01:30:38,989 Sixteen in two months. That's wonderful. 1212 01:30:39,013 --> 01:30:40,999 You've got your life ahead of you. 1213 01:30:41,023 --> 01:30:43,978 While mine is flashing before my eyes. 1214 01:30:44,002 --> 01:30:46,993 - More water? - More water. 1215 01:30:47,017 --> 01:30:48,990 David, darling.. 1216 01:30:49,014 --> 01:30:51,987 Your parents, don't they think you're a little young 1217 01:30:52,011 --> 01:30:53,998 to be out in the world all alone? 1218 01:30:54,022 --> 01:30:55,994 No. 1219 01:30:56,018 --> 01:30:59,018 But juvenile court did. So, here I am. 1220 01:31:02,010 --> 01:31:04,022 I need to talk to Arnold. 1221 01:31:05,000 --> 01:31:07,989 You could call the school, he had to meet with my principal. 1222 01:31:08,013 --> 01:31:09,995 You mean real people know you live here? 1223 01:31:10,019 --> 01:31:13,999 Why not? Lots of people live with their fathers. 1224 01:31:14,023 --> 01:31:18,983 - Live with their what? - Their fathers. 1225 01:31:19,007 --> 01:31:20,013 Hi, pop! 1226 01:31:25,003 --> 01:31:26,983 'So, mama tell me all about Florida.' 1227 01:31:27,007 --> 01:31:28,988 Anyone special in your life? 1228 01:31:29,012 --> 01:31:30,996 Not particularly. 1229 01:31:31,020 --> 01:31:32,991 This Ed, he got married, didn't he? 1230 01:31:33,015 --> 01:31:35,980 Right. So, how come you're not seeing anyone? 1231 01:31:36,004 --> 01:31:37,997 Because the last thing I need is to become nursemaid 1232 01:31:38,021 --> 01:31:39,995 to some alter kocker. 1233 01:31:40,019 --> 01:31:41,996 So how come he's staying with you? 1234 01:31:42,020 --> 01:31:44,023 He and his wife are separated. 1235 01:31:45,001 --> 01:31:46,992 - Separated. How come? - I don't know. 1236 01:31:47,016 --> 01:31:48,992 Arnold, the man is living with you. 1237 01:31:49,016 --> 01:31:50,997 - He stayed on the couch. - So are you. 1238 01:31:51,021 --> 01:31:53,996 - 'Cause your in my room.' - 'You're involved.' 1239 01:31:54,020 --> 01:31:55,022 Ma! 1240 01:31:56,000 --> 01:31:57,979 You must admit it sounds a little queer. 1241 01:31:58,003 --> 01:32:00,991 A man leaves his wife and moves in with his old friend. 1242 01:32:01,015 --> 01:32:03,991 I don't think the people who gave you David would approve. 1243 01:32:04,015 --> 01:32:05,986 You wanna just drive. 1244 01:32:06,010 --> 01:32:07,995 You've taken on a tremendous responsibility with this boy. 1245 01:32:08,019 --> 01:32:09,996 You have to set him a good example. 1246 01:32:10,020 --> 01:32:13,980 Giving a friend a place to stay is a bad example? 1247 01:32:14,004 --> 01:32:15,993 I knew I should have kept my mouth to myself. 1248 01:32:16,017 --> 01:32:17,996 Anyway, it's only for a few more weeks. 1249 01:32:18,020 --> 01:32:19,995 What's for a few more weeks? 1250 01:32:20,019 --> 01:32:22,991 You said he was with you on a one year basis. 1251 01:32:23,015 --> 01:32:24,991 So, it's already more than 10 months. 1252 01:32:25,015 --> 01:32:26,990 So, what do you think happens then? 1253 01:32:27,014 --> 01:32:28,991 - He leaves. - No, ma. You misunderstood. 1254 01:32:29,015 --> 01:32:31,978 Yes, David's with me on a one year trial basis 1255 01:32:32,002 --> 01:32:34,983 but after that if we agree and Bureau Of Child Welfare allows 1256 01:32:35,007 --> 01:32:36,981 I'm going to legally adopt him. 1257 01:32:37,005 --> 01:32:39,023 Believe me, ma, if I have anything to say about it. 1258 01:32:40,001 --> 01:32:41,978 - David's not leaving. - Stop the car. 1259 01:32:42,002 --> 01:32:43,983 Frankly, you've done crazy things... 1260 01:32:44,007 --> 01:32:45,407 Adopting David is not a crazy thing. 1261 01:32:46,000 --> 01:32:48,120 It is a wonderful thing. I happen to be very proud of. 1262 01:32:49,001 --> 01:32:51,081 If your so proud, how come you're ashamed to tell me. 1263 01:32:52,001 --> 01:32:52,988 Everything else you tell me. 1264 01:32:53,012 --> 01:32:54,990 You shove your sex life down my throat. 1265 01:32:55,014 --> 01:32:55,996 Every hour on the hour. 1266 01:32:56,020 --> 01:32:59,978 But all this time, not a word. Why? 1267 01:33:00,002 --> 01:33:01,982 Your not an easy person to talk to. 1268 01:33:02,006 --> 01:33:03,995 Why? Do I tell you how to run your life? 1269 01:33:04,019 --> 01:33:06,990 Listen to me, my son, I realized a long time ago 1270 01:33:07,014 --> 01:33:09,979 that no matter what I thought or how I felt 1271 01:33:10,003 --> 01:33:12,163 you and your brother were gonna do exactly as you felt. 1272 01:33:13,000 --> 01:33:14,982 You want to know why you didn't tell me? 1273 01:33:15,006 --> 01:33:17,984 - Because you knew it was wrong. - That is not true. 1274 01:33:18,008 --> 01:33:20,983 No? Why? 1275 01:33:21,007 --> 01:33:23,981 I don't know. 1276 01:33:24,005 --> 01:33:25,018 So what else is new? 1277 01:33:56,006 --> 01:33:58,995 That's it. Honestly, I've had it up to here with you. 1278 01:33:59,019 --> 01:34:02,987 Your father left these plots to you, this is what you want to do 1279 01:34:03,011 --> 01:34:04,984 with them, fine. That's your business. 1280 01:34:05,008 --> 01:34:07,995 I will not stand here and watch you spit on your father's grave! 1281 01:34:08,019 --> 01:34:10,990 - What? - What you think you're doing? 1282 01:34:11,014 --> 01:34:12,995 - What do you... - What are you doing? 1283 01:34:13,019 --> 01:34:14,995 I'm doing the same thing you're doing. 1284 01:34:15,019 --> 01:34:16,997 No! I'm reciting Kaddish for my husband. 1285 01:34:17,021 --> 01:34:18,995 You're blaspheming your religion. 1286 01:34:19,019 --> 01:34:21,988 You know who this is? This is my lover. 1287 01:34:22,012 --> 01:34:25,022 Wait. Wait. Wait. 1288 01:34:26,000 --> 01:34:27,991 You're gonna compare my marriage to you and Alan? 1289 01:34:28,015 --> 01:34:29,997 Your father and I were married for 35 years 1290 01:34:30,021 --> 01:34:32,990 we'd two children together, you dare compare yourself to that? 1291 01:34:33,014 --> 01:34:35,986 - I'm talking about the loss. - What loss did you have? 1292 01:34:36,010 --> 01:34:37,992 You fooled around with some boy. 1293 01:34:38,016 --> 01:34:40,999 Where do you come to compare with a marriage of 35 years? 1294 01:34:41,023 --> 01:34:44,997 Come on, Arnold. This isn't one of your pals you're talking to. 1295 01:34:45,021 --> 01:34:46,996 I lost someone I loved very much. 1296 01:34:47,020 --> 01:34:49,991 So you felt bad. Maybe you even cried a little. 1297 01:34:50,015 --> 01:34:53,983 What would you know what I felt? 35 years I lived with this man. 1298 01:34:54,007 --> 01:34:55,989 He got sick, I took him to the hospital. 1299 01:34:56,013 --> 01:34:58,992 You know what they gave me back? I gave them a man. 1300 01:34:59,016 --> 01:35:01,980 They gave me a place to visit on holy days. 1301 01:35:02,004 --> 01:35:03,980 How could you possibly know how I felt? 1302 01:35:04,004 --> 01:35:06,985 It took two months before I could sleep in our bed alone. 1303 01:35:07,009 --> 01:35:08,985 And a year, it took me a year 1304 01:35:09,009 --> 01:35:10,989 before I could say, I instead of we. 1305 01:35:11,013 --> 01:35:12,994 And you're gonna tell me you are mourning. 1306 01:35:13,018 --> 01:35:14,989 How dare you! 1307 01:35:15,013 --> 01:35:17,992 You're right, ma. How dare I? 1308 01:35:18,016 --> 01:35:20,988 I couldn't possibly know how it feels to take somebody's things 1309 01:35:21,012 --> 01:35:24,993 put it in plastic bags and watch garbage men take 'em away. 1310 01:35:25,017 --> 01:35:26,989 Or how it feels when you forget 1311 01:35:27,013 --> 01:35:28,996 and you set him his place at the table. 1312 01:35:29,020 --> 01:35:31,980 How about the food that rots in the refrigerator 1313 01:35:32,004 --> 01:35:33,983 'cause you forgot how to shop for one. 1314 01:35:34,007 --> 01:35:35,981 How dare I, right, ma? How dare I? 1315 01:35:36,005 --> 01:35:38,994 Believe me, ma, you had it easy. You had 35 years together, ma. 1316 01:35:39,018 --> 01:35:40,995 You have friends, you have relatives. 1317 01:35:41,019 --> 01:35:42,997 You know who I had? I had me. 1318 01:35:43,021 --> 01:35:44,985 You know what my friend said? 1319 01:35:45,009 --> 01:35:46,988 What the fuck are you carrying on about? 1320 01:35:47,012 --> 01:35:49,991 At least you had a lover. That's right. You had it easy. 1321 01:35:50,015 --> 01:35:51,998 You lost your husband in a nice, clean hospital. 1322 01:35:52,022 --> 01:35:54,985 You know where I lost mine? On the street. 1323 01:35:55,009 --> 01:35:56,986 That's right. They killed him on the street. 1324 01:35:57,010 --> 01:35:58,998 Twenty seven years old, laying dead on the street. 1325 01:35:59,022 --> 01:36:01,986 Killed by a bunch of kids with baseball bats. 1326 01:36:02,010 --> 01:36:03,986 That's right, ma. Killed by children. 1327 01:36:04,010 --> 01:36:05,985 Children taught by people like you 1328 01:36:06,009 --> 01:36:07,999 'cause everybody knows that queers don't matter. 1329 01:36:08,023 --> 01:36:09,986 Queers don't love! 1330 01:36:10,010 --> 01:36:13,013 And those that do, deserve what they get. 1331 01:36:50,022 --> 01:36:52,010 Taxi! 1332 01:37:02,023 --> 01:37:03,984 'Action!' 1333 01:37:12,013 --> 01:37:13,983 I'll get it. 1334 01:37:21,016 --> 01:37:22,989 You must be Ed. 1335 01:37:23,013 --> 01:37:26,007 How do you do? I'm the mother. 1336 01:37:32,005 --> 01:37:34,007 Nice to have met you. 1337 01:37:35,008 --> 01:37:36,014 Whoops. 1338 01:37:38,003 --> 01:37:38,992 Whoops? 1339 01:37:39,016 --> 01:37:42,981 Ed, did you say "whoops?" 1340 01:37:43,005 --> 01:37:44,978 No, Ed. 1341 01:37:45,002 --> 01:37:48,980 Whoops is when you fall down an elevator shaft. 1342 01:37:49,004 --> 01:37:53,980 Whoops is when you skinny dip in a school of piranha. 1343 01:37:54,004 --> 01:38:00,001 Whoops is when you accidentally douche with Drano. 1344 01:38:01,015 --> 01:38:01,993 'No, Ed.' 1345 01:38:02,017 --> 01:38:04,993 This was no whoops. 1346 01:38:05,017 --> 01:38:07,997 This was an argh. 1347 01:38:08,021 --> 01:38:10,979 Come on, David. We're dining out. 1348 01:38:11,003 --> 01:38:12,011 Good idea. 1349 01:38:14,014 --> 01:38:15,021 Good Luck. 1350 01:38:27,001 --> 01:38:29,010 Round Two. 1351 01:38:38,008 --> 01:38:39,980 Mama. 1352 01:38:40,004 --> 01:38:42,994 You can come out now. We got the whole joint to fight in. 1353 01:38:43,018 --> 01:38:46,991 'Enjoy yourself. I'm going to bed.' 1354 01:38:47,015 --> 01:38:49,990 Ma, I'm sorry I lost my temper. 1355 01:38:50,014 --> 01:38:52,994 'I'm glad you're sorry.' 1356 01:38:53,018 --> 01:38:56,983 Mama, we've gotta talk about this. 1357 01:38:57,007 --> 01:38:58,985 You don't wanna talk, you want to fight. 1358 01:38:59,009 --> 01:39:00,984 I don't fight with my children. 1359 01:39:01,008 --> 01:39:02,993 Did you ever hear your father and me fight? 1360 01:39:03,017 --> 01:39:04,991 No. And you wanna know why? 1361 01:39:05,015 --> 01:39:06,993 Because all my childhood I listened to fights. 1362 01:39:07,017 --> 01:39:08,980 My father fought with my mother. 1363 01:39:09,004 --> 01:39:10,986 Mother fought with my brother. Brother fought with me. 1364 01:39:11,010 --> 01:39:14,982 When I married I said, "Jack, I will talk, but won't fight." 1365 01:39:15,006 --> 01:39:18,021 Did you ever hear us fight? No! And now you know why. 1366 01:39:30,010 --> 01:39:30,996 And don't holler. 1367 01:39:31,020 --> 01:39:33,981 People say things they don't mean when they holler 1368 01:39:34,005 --> 01:39:35,979 and you've said quite enough. 1369 01:39:36,003 --> 01:39:37,993 I won't holler. You just hit a wrong nerve before. 1370 01:39:38,017 --> 01:39:40,991 We will not discuss Alan or daddy. 1371 01:39:41,015 --> 01:39:42,022 Only David. 1372 01:39:43,000 --> 01:39:46,023 Arnold, darling, what do you know from raising a child? 1373 01:39:47,001 --> 01:39:48,987 What's to know? Whenever there's a problem 1374 01:39:49,011 --> 01:39:51,989 I simply imagine how you would solve it. 1375 01:39:52,013 --> 01:39:54,987 And then I do the opposite. 1376 01:39:55,011 --> 01:39:57,023 That's what you invited me here for to insult me 1377 01:39:58,001 --> 01:39:59,979 and spit on your father's grave? 1378 01:40:00,003 --> 01:40:00,984 Oh, ma. God. 1379 01:40:01,008 --> 01:40:02,991 Arnold, you live your life the way you want. 1380 01:40:03,015 --> 01:40:05,992 I put my fist in my mouth, I don't say a word. 1381 01:40:06,016 --> 01:40:08,988 But think about the boy. He sees you living like this. 1382 01:40:09,012 --> 01:40:11,981 'Don't you think it's bound to affect him?' 1383 01:40:12,005 --> 01:40:15,023 Ma, David is gay. 1384 01:40:17,005 --> 01:40:19,022 He's been here less than a year. 1385 01:40:20,000 --> 01:40:21,991 He came that way. 1386 01:40:22,015 --> 01:40:24,984 Nobody comes that way. 1387 01:40:25,008 --> 01:40:27,022 What an opening. 1388 01:40:28,000 --> 01:40:28,999 Everything by you is a joke. 1389 01:40:29,023 --> 01:40:31,022 The world has gone completely insane 1390 01:40:32,000 --> 01:40:32,996 and I'm heading south for summer. 1391 01:40:33,020 --> 01:40:35,981 You make it difficult to have an intelligent conversation. 1392 01:40:36,005 --> 01:40:37,990 You want an intelligent conversation? Do what I do. 1393 01:40:38,014 --> 01:40:39,987 Talk to yourself. It's the only way. 1394 01:40:40,011 --> 01:40:42,331 Don't you understand the whole reason David was placed here 1395 01:40:43,000 --> 01:40:45,992 so that he grows with a positive attitude of his homosexuality. 1396 01:40:46,016 --> 01:40:47,999 Arnold, gay gives into hate. I don't care anymore. 1397 01:40:48,023 --> 01:40:50,994 You're not gonna put me in my grave like your father. 1398 01:40:51,018 --> 01:40:53,978 - Now I killed my father. - No, of course not. 1399 01:40:54,002 --> 01:40:55,990 He was thrilled to have a fairy for a son. 1400 01:40:56,014 --> 01:40:58,984 You walk into a room and say "Hi, dad. I'm queer." 1401 01:40:59,008 --> 01:41:01,993 And that's that? Is that why we brought you into the world for? 1402 01:41:02,017 --> 01:41:05,011 Believe me, if I had known I wouldn't have bothered. 1403 01:41:26,008 --> 01:41:27,983 God should tear out my tongue 1404 01:41:28,007 --> 01:41:30,013 I should talk to my child like that. 1405 01:41:31,023 --> 01:41:33,999 Arnold, you're a good person. 1406 01:41:34,023 --> 01:41:36,990 A sensitive person with a heart kinda like your father. 1407 01:41:37,014 --> 01:41:40,990 I try to love you and forget this, but you won't let me. 1408 01:41:41,014 --> 01:41:44,023 You haven't spoken one sentence without the word gay in it. 1409 01:41:45,001 --> 01:41:45,990 'Cause it's what I am. 1410 01:41:46,014 --> 01:41:48,982 If that's all, leave it in there where it belongs. 1411 01:41:49,006 --> 01:41:49,999 But you're obsessed with it. 1412 01:41:50,023 --> 01:41:53,986 You're not happy unless everybody's talking about it. 1413 01:41:54,010 --> 01:41:55,992 Try and imagine the world the other way around. 1414 01:41:56,016 --> 01:41:58,999 Imagine that every book, every magazine, every TV show 1415 01:41:59,023 --> 01:42:03,985 every movie, was telling you, you should be homosexual. 1416 01:42:04,009 --> 01:42:05,998 You know you're not. You know to you this is... 1417 01:42:06,022 --> 01:42:07,999 Stop already. You're talking crazy. 1418 01:42:08,023 --> 01:42:09,998 You wanna know what's crazy? 1419 01:42:10,022 --> 01:42:12,022 After all these years, I'm still sitting here 1420 01:42:13,000 --> 01:42:14,600 trying to justify my life. This is crazy. 1421 01:42:15,000 --> 01:42:16,984 You call this a life? This is a sickness. 1422 01:42:17,008 --> 01:42:18,985 But it's what you've chosen for yourself. 1423 01:42:19,009 --> 01:42:20,985 Ma, look, I'm gay. I don't know why. 1424 01:42:21,009 --> 01:42:22,995 I don't think anyone does. That's what I am. 1425 01:42:23,019 --> 01:42:24,990 Far as I can remember 1426 01:42:25,014 --> 01:42:26,997 before I knew it was different or even wrong... 1427 01:42:27,021 --> 01:42:28,998 You have not heard one word I've said. 1428 01:42:29,022 --> 01:42:31,981 I know you'd rather I was straight. I'm not. 1429 01:42:32,005 --> 01:42:33,991 'Would you also rather I'd lied to you?' 1430 01:42:34,015 --> 01:42:36,982 My friend, Ed would never dream of telling his parents. 1431 01:42:37,006 --> 01:42:38,988 Instead he cut his parents out of his life. 1432 01:42:39,012 --> 01:42:41,984 And his parents wonder why. Why is my child so distant? 1433 01:42:42,008 --> 01:42:43,978 - Is that what you rather? - No. 1434 01:42:44,002 --> 01:42:45,997 But it doesn't have to be our every conversation either. 1435 01:42:46,021 --> 01:42:47,997 You wanna be a part of my life 1436 01:42:48,021 --> 01:42:50,979 I'm not editing out the things you don't like. 1437 01:42:51,003 --> 01:42:51,997 - Can we end this conversation? - No! 1438 01:42:52,021 --> 01:42:54,982 God.. 1439 01:42:55,006 --> 01:42:57,988 There's one more thing you better understand. 1440 01:42:58,012 --> 01:43:00,978 I've taught myself to sew, cook, fix plumbing, build furniture 1441 01:43:01,002 --> 01:43:02,992 I can even pat myself on the back when necessary. 1442 01:43:03,016 --> 01:43:05,982 All so I don't have to ask anyone for anything. 1443 01:43:06,006 --> 01:43:07,981 There's nothing I need from anyone 1444 01:43:08,005 --> 01:43:09,981 except for love and respect. 1445 01:43:10,005 --> 01:43:11,990 And anyone who can't give me those two things 1446 01:43:12,014 --> 01:43:15,013 has no place in my life. 1447 01:43:20,010 --> 01:43:22,985 You're my mother. 1448 01:43:23,009 --> 01:43:24,991 'I love you.' 1449 01:43:25,015 --> 01:43:29,991 I do, but.. 1450 01:43:30,015 --> 01:43:34,015 If you can't respect me, you've got no business being here. 1451 01:43:40,005 --> 01:43:42,022 - You're throwing me out? - Ma, I'm trying to... 1452 01:43:43,000 --> 01:43:44,991 Throwing me out. Isn't that nice? 1453 01:43:45,015 --> 01:43:45,999 Listen, mister. 1454 01:43:46,023 --> 01:43:49,022 You get one mother in this world. Only one. 1455 01:43:50,000 --> 01:43:52,014 Wait. You just wait. 1456 01:44:02,001 --> 01:44:03,992 - 'Yeah, hello.' - Ed, it's Murray. 1457 01:44:04,016 --> 01:44:05,996 - Is Arnold there? - Well, isn't he at work? 1458 01:44:06,020 --> 01:44:07,998 'He ran outta here after the first show' 1459 01:44:08,022 --> 01:44:11,015 'and he never came back. Where would he go?' 1460 01:44:15,013 --> 01:44:18,015 Where you going, boys? I just got here. 1461 01:44:28,011 --> 01:44:29,987 Hello, boys. Line forms to the left. 1462 01:44:30,011 --> 01:44:31,987 - Arnold, come on. - What? 1463 01:44:32,011 --> 01:44:33,986 Say goodnight to your friends. 1464 01:44:34,010 --> 01:44:36,023 - Come on, we're going home. - I had you. 1465 01:44:37,001 --> 01:44:39,018 I don't want to go home. She's there. 1466 01:44:41,006 --> 01:44:43,001 Spring and Thomson. 1467 01:44:47,000 --> 01:44:48,240 Your mother said she's leaving. 1468 01:44:49,022 --> 01:44:50,992 She didn't want to stay the night 1469 01:44:51,016 --> 01:44:53,022 but she couldn't get a flight out till morning. 1470 01:44:54,000 --> 01:44:55,985 She was gonna spend the night at the airport 1471 01:44:56,009 --> 01:44:57,985 but I got her calmed down. 1472 01:44:58,009 --> 01:45:00,012 She'd stay, if you asked her. 1473 01:45:02,023 --> 01:45:05,001 Why did you get drunk? 1474 01:45:06,021 --> 01:45:08,986 Hello? Anybody home? 1475 01:45:09,010 --> 01:45:11,014 Sometimes you really frighten me, Ed. 1476 01:45:14,021 --> 01:45:17,979 You care to talk about it, huh? 1477 01:45:18,003 --> 01:45:19,985 I am upset. I am uptight. 1478 01:45:20,009 --> 01:45:22,983 I am up to my nipples in southern comfort. 1479 01:45:23,007 --> 01:45:26,983 And you're trying to take advantage of me. 1480 01:45:27,007 --> 01:45:29,009 Fine. 1481 01:45:36,009 --> 01:45:38,983 I want another chance with you. Arnold, please listen to me. 1482 01:45:39,007 --> 01:45:40,984 Look, Arnold. I'm 40 years old. 1483 01:45:41,008 --> 01:45:42,288 You know what that means, Arnold? 1484 01:45:43,000 --> 01:45:45,980 It means it's time for me to stop jerking around. 1485 01:45:46,004 --> 01:45:47,979 The time I've spent with you and David 1486 01:45:48,003 --> 01:45:54,003 it's been... the closest thing to whatever it is I want. 1487 01:45:56,022 --> 01:45:59,000 Are you listening to me? 1488 01:46:04,008 --> 01:46:06,010 $2.25 1489 01:46:08,007 --> 01:46:08,989 Thanks. 1490 01:46:09,013 --> 01:46:10,993 Look, I know you're upset about your mother. 1491 01:46:11,017 --> 01:46:12,022 That's not it. 1492 01:46:13,000 --> 01:46:13,999 Then maybe it's too soon after Alan. 1493 01:46:14,023 --> 01:46:17,005 - Ed, leave me alone. - But then what? 1494 01:46:21,004 --> 01:46:24,022 Ed, are you forgetting why we broke up in the first place? 1495 01:46:25,000 --> 01:46:27,993 You really think that you could bring your friends here? 1496 01:46:28,017 --> 01:46:31,023 You think that you could introduce me to your parents 1497 01:46:32,001 --> 01:46:37,016 as your lover, and David as our son? 1498 01:46:39,003 --> 01:46:39,999 Ed. 1499 01:46:40,023 --> 01:46:45,995 Angel, I just threw my mother, my mother, out of the house. 1500 01:46:46,019 --> 01:46:49,981 All she wanted was not talk about it. 1501 01:46:50,005 --> 01:46:54,002 'You really think I'm going to ask less from you?' 1502 01:47:10,011 --> 01:47:11,998 'We've got a dedication now' 1503 01:47:12,022 --> 01:47:14,979 'from Beulah to Michael.' 1504 01:47:15,003 --> 01:47:18,013 'Thinking of you.' 1505 01:47:21,023 --> 01:47:22,998 I ever tell you about the time 1506 01:47:23,022 --> 01:47:25,991 that Alan called in one of these shows? 1507 01:47:26,015 --> 01:47:27,988 You told me. 1508 01:47:28,012 --> 01:47:30,990 And how they read the dedication wrong? 1509 01:47:31,014 --> 01:47:32,978 You told me. 1510 01:47:33,002 --> 01:47:34,997 Oh, it was so romantic. 1511 01:47:35,021 --> 01:47:37,989 You told me. 1512 01:47:38,013 --> 01:47:39,989 Come on, champ. Breakfast's on me. 1513 01:47:40,013 --> 01:47:42,982 Do we ever get to have a real meal again? 1514 01:47:43,006 --> 01:47:44,982 Oh, let's go. 1515 01:47:45,006 --> 01:47:47,018 Wait up, then. I've got to do something first. 1516 01:47:54,003 --> 01:47:54,983 Listen, um.. 1517 01:47:55,007 --> 01:47:57,981 What we talked about last night. 1518 01:47:58,005 --> 01:48:00,989 I think it's time to find out. 1519 01:48:01,013 --> 01:48:03,014 I love you, Arnold. 1520 01:48:11,000 --> 01:48:12,996 Ahem, Um.. David are you coming? 1521 01:48:13,020 --> 01:48:15,022 In a minute! 1522 01:48:16,000 --> 01:48:17,995 It was a pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Beckoff. 1523 01:48:18,019 --> 01:48:19,993 Pleasure was mine, Ed. 1524 01:48:20,017 --> 01:48:22,981 I hope you and your wife come to your senses. 1525 01:48:23,005 --> 01:48:24,981 Couples have to learn to live with conflict. 1526 01:48:25,005 --> 01:48:29,005 After all, a problem is never as permanent as a solution. 1527 01:48:31,023 --> 01:48:32,987 Thank You. 1528 01:48:33,011 --> 01:48:34,988 David. 1529 01:48:35,012 --> 01:48:38,996 Well, young man, it's been an experience. 1530 01:48:39,020 --> 01:48:40,022 Same here. 1531 01:48:41,000 --> 01:48:42,200 Sorry, I scared you yesterday. 1532 01:48:43,001 --> 01:48:46,004 Maybe someday I can do the same for you. 1533 01:48:53,017 --> 01:48:54,992 I'll be leaving myself now. 1534 01:48:55,016 --> 01:48:56,998 Ma, you don't have to go. You can stay. 1535 01:48:57,022 --> 01:48:59,986 What? With your brother? No. It's better he doesn't know. 1536 01:49:00,010 --> 01:49:02,992 I'll call him from Miami, tell him I couldn't come this week. 1537 01:49:03,016 --> 01:49:06,983 No, I'll call him and I'm gonna tell him what happened. 1538 01:49:07,007 --> 01:49:08,982 You want to turn him against me too? 1539 01:49:09,006 --> 01:49:11,993 What else do you wanna do? You want me to leave? I'm leaving. 1540 01:49:12,017 --> 01:49:13,993 You want me to fight? I'm too tired. 1541 01:49:14,017 --> 01:49:16,980 You want me to change? I'm too old. I can't. 1542 01:49:17,004 --> 01:49:20,995 So, you do what you have to do. And I'll do what I have to do. 1543 01:49:21,019 --> 01:49:24,984 - And I hope you're satisfied. - Oh, God. 1544 01:49:25,008 --> 01:49:28,981 If I had opened a mouth to my mother the way you did to me 1545 01:49:29,005 --> 01:49:31,023 you'd be talking to a woman with a size six wedgie 1546 01:49:32,001 --> 01:49:32,998 sticking out of her forehead. 1547 01:49:33,022 --> 01:49:34,998 'I didn't raise my children like that.' 1548 01:49:35,022 --> 01:49:37,997 I wanted my children to respect me because they wanted to. 1549 01:49:38,021 --> 01:49:39,993 Not because I beat it into them. 1550 01:49:40,017 --> 01:49:41,995 We're going to start this all over again? 1551 01:49:42,019 --> 01:49:44,996 Yes! Because it's not fair to put all the blame on me. 1552 01:49:45,020 --> 01:49:48,994 You think I didn't know about you? Believe me, I knew, I knew. 1553 01:49:49,018 --> 01:49:51,985 But I said, no. I hoped. 1554 01:49:52,009 --> 01:49:53,998 What's the difference? I knew when I turned my back. 1555 01:49:54,022 --> 01:49:57,982 But I wasn't the only one, you turned your back on me too. 1556 01:49:58,006 --> 01:49:59,998 You opened a mouth to me about your friend, Alan. 1557 01:50:00,022 --> 01:50:01,994 How was I supposed to know? 1558 01:50:02,018 --> 01:50:03,994 All of a sudden, you would have understood? 1559 01:50:04,018 --> 01:50:06,996 Maybe, you don't know. You never trusted me enough to tell me. 1560 01:50:07,020 --> 01:50:09,994 - You never said a word. - So you could have said what? 1561 01:50:10,018 --> 01:50:11,993 "Ah, he's better off dead," right? 1562 01:50:12,017 --> 01:50:15,990 Maybe I could have comforted you, told you what to expect. 1563 01:50:16,014 --> 01:50:17,990 You cheated me out of your life 1564 01:50:18,014 --> 01:50:20,022 and then blamed me for not being there. 1565 01:50:38,020 --> 01:50:40,023 About this Ed.. 1566 01:50:46,018 --> 01:50:47,994 ...you love him? 1567 01:50:48,018 --> 01:50:50,007 I don't know. 1568 01:50:57,003 --> 01:50:59,993 Yeah, I think so. 1569 01:51:00,017 --> 01:51:02,019 Like you loved Alan? 1570 01:51:06,007 --> 01:51:07,995 No. 1571 01:51:08,019 --> 01:51:11,987 They're very different. 1572 01:51:12,011 --> 01:51:15,022 Anyway, it's easier to love someone who's dead. 1573 01:51:16,000 --> 01:51:19,990 'They make so few mistakes.' 1574 01:51:20,014 --> 01:51:22,998 You've got an unusual way of looking at things, Arnold. 1575 01:51:23,022 --> 01:51:27,000 I think it runs in the family. 1576 01:51:32,003 --> 01:51:33,009 Ma.. 1577 01:51:37,020 --> 01:51:39,009 I miss him. 1578 01:51:48,012 --> 01:51:52,985 Give yourself time, Arnold. It gets better. 1579 01:51:53,009 --> 01:51:55,983 But, Arnold, it never goes away. 1580 01:51:56,007 --> 01:51:56,998 You can work longer hours 1581 01:51:57,022 --> 01:52:01,996 adopt a son, fight with me, whatever. It'll still be there. 1582 01:52:02,020 --> 01:52:04,978 But that's alright, it becomes a part of you 1583 01:52:05,002 --> 01:52:08,010 like learning to wear a ring or a pair of eye glasses. 1584 01:52:11,021 --> 01:52:14,996 You get used to it and it's good. 1585 01:52:15,020 --> 01:52:19,988 It's good because it makes sure you don't forget. 1586 01:52:20,012 --> 01:52:23,996 You don't want to forget him, do you? 1587 01:52:24,020 --> 01:52:26,989 No. 1588 01:52:27,013 --> 01:52:30,980 So it's good. 1589 01:52:33,015 --> 01:52:34,988 You'd better get that. 1590 01:52:35,012 --> 01:52:40,985 It might be something about that son of yours. 1591 01:52:45,013 --> 01:52:45,999 Hello. 1592 01:52:46,023 --> 01:52:47,998 Oh, hi, Dav... what? 1593 01:52:48,022 --> 01:52:51,990 Alright. Yes, I'm turning. Alright. I'm turning. 1594 01:52:52,014 --> 01:52:52,995 It's David. 1595 01:52:53,019 --> 01:52:54,994 Something about the radio. 1596 01:52:55,018 --> 01:52:57,022 'Turn it on. Turn it on.' 1597 01:52:58,000 --> 01:53:00,994 'No, I just checked with my producer who took the call' 1598 01:53:01,018 --> 01:53:03,995 'he has confirmed. For whatever it's worth, here it is.' 1599 01:53:04,019 --> 01:53:06,998 'A dedication from David to Arnold. With all his love.' 1600 01:53:11,018 --> 01:53:12,990 You hear that, ma? 1601 01:53:13,014 --> 01:53:14,986 Stupid kid. 1602 01:53:15,010 --> 01:53:16,984 Oh, God, mama, He's such a special.. 1603 01:53:21,000 --> 01:53:23,978 Ma, You're not even listening. 1604 01:53:41,010 --> 01:53:43,998 Mama. 1605 01:55:05,029 --> 01:55:08,029 Subtitles Diego Moraes(oakislandtk) www.opensubtitles.org 120735