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1
00:00:50,809 --> 00:00:52,362
You were incredible.
2
00:00:53,018 --> 00:00:55,227
My heart is still racing.
3
00:00:56,677 --> 00:00:58,437
I felt it too.
4
00:00:58,541 --> 00:01:00,474
All thanks to your
brute strength, Dash,
5
00:01:00,577 --> 00:01:03,718
and your knowledge of ancient
Aramaic mathematics.
6
00:01:03,822 --> 00:01:06,721
Please. This has nothing to
do with my two doctorates
7
00:01:06,825 --> 00:01:08,896
and my master's in Gender Studies
8
00:01:09,793 --> 00:01:12,762
and everything to do
with you, Dr. Lovemore.
9
00:01:13,211 --> 00:01:15,109
The truth is,
10
00:01:15,213 --> 00:01:17,594
I never thought I would
find the Lost City of D.
11
00:01:17,698 --> 00:01:20,632
I would choose your words carefully.
12
00:01:20,735 --> 00:01:22,496
They will be your last.
13
00:01:22,599 --> 00:01:26,362
You led me right to King Kalaman's tomb
14
00:01:26,465 --> 00:01:30,055
and his queen's
legendary Crown of Fire.
15
00:01:30,159 --> 00:01:33,058
And now I will be very rich,
16
00:01:33,162 --> 00:01:35,854
and you will be very dead.
17
00:01:36,786 --> 00:01:40,169
Hold up. Are these...
Are these your snakes?
18
00:01:40,272 --> 00:01:41,894
No, they were just here.
19
00:01:41,998 --> 00:01:44,449
There were just hundreds
of snakes in this temple
20
00:01:44,552 --> 00:01:46,416
just waiting for us to show up?
21
00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,625
- Who feeds them? You feed them?
- No, what do they eat?
22
00:01:48,729 --> 00:01:50,938
Why is that one not biting that
guy? Why is that happening?
23
00:01:51,041 --> 00:01:53,004
Are they trained not to bite
henchmen or something?
24
00:01:53,028 --> 00:01:53,906
Yeah, well...
25
00:01:54,010 --> 00:01:56,288
I mean, the
snake-to-temple ratio alone...
26
00:01:56,392 --> 00:01:58,842
This is ridiculous. Delete.
27
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,018
I... I think my character
can still work.
28
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,847
Delete.
29
00:02:03,951 --> 00:02:06,126
Loretta, you still have
a story to write.
30
00:02:06,816 --> 00:02:08,128
Delete.
31
00:02:10,509 --> 00:02:12,373
Hey, it's me, Beth.
32
00:02:12,477 --> 00:02:14,893
I don't want to pull the whole
"I'm your publisher" card, but I am.
33
00:02:14,996 --> 00:02:17,344
And I'm really looking forward
to seeing this last chapter.
34
00:02:17,447 --> 00:02:19,484
But no pressure. No,
there actually is pressure.
35
00:02:19,587 --> 00:02:23,764
The exact amount of pressure that
motivates you but doesn't paralyze you.
36
00:02:23,867 --> 00:02:25,248
You got this.
37
00:02:26,801 --> 00:02:27,768
Thank you.
38
00:02:27,871 --> 00:02:29,908
Me again.
39
00:02:30,011 --> 00:02:31,875
Okay, so everything
is set for the book tour,
40
00:02:31,979 --> 00:02:34,809
but, uh, the only thing we
need is a book to tour with.
41
00:02:34,913 --> 00:02:37,053
I can't help but get the feeling
that you're not finishing
42
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,607
because you don't want
to leave your house.
43
00:02:39,711 --> 00:02:44,888
Listen, I know these last five years
have been hard after John's passing,
44
00:02:44,992 --> 00:02:48,375
and it feels easier to
live in your bathtub,
45
00:02:48,478 --> 00:02:51,136
drinking Chardonnay on ice.
46
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,035
But, girl, there is a great
big world waiting for you
47
00:02:54,139 --> 00:02:57,142
and a book tour that I can't cancel,
so just make it happen, all right?
48
00:02:57,246 --> 00:02:58,488
Love you, bye!
49
00:03:17,507 --> 00:03:19,026
We have to keep going.
50
00:03:20,061 --> 00:03:22,547
Let's see what's on the
other side of that door.
51
00:03:22,650 --> 00:03:24,756
But what if there isn't anything?
52
00:03:25,515 --> 00:03:27,586
There's only one way to find out.
53
00:03:28,484 --> 00:03:30,417
Then Lovemore realized
54
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,798
the treasure she
wanted was lost forever
55
00:03:32,902 --> 00:03:35,284
and her adventures
were coming to an end.
56
00:03:35,387 --> 00:03:36,526
That doesn't feel right.
57
00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:38,425
Yeah, but that's it.
58
00:03:38,528 --> 00:03:39,978
That's the end.
59
00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,575
Well, John,
60
00:03:51,161 --> 00:03:52,266
here I go.
61
00:03:52,370 --> 00:03:54,648
Dulcius ex asperis.
62
00:04:01,171 --> 00:04:03,933
- Okay, honey, it's showtime.
- Are you sure about this?
63
00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:07,626
Because I have a wedgie in the
back and in the front in this thing.
64
00:04:07,730 --> 00:04:09,973
I feel like a nerdy figure skater.
65
00:04:10,077 --> 00:04:12,769
- Sexy. Stunner. I'm all about it.
- No, it's not. It's not.
66
00:04:12,873 --> 00:04:14,806
- How do I move in this?
- Don't touch it.
67
00:04:14,909 --> 00:04:17,118
- I'm not touching it. I'm holding it out.
- Stop it. Will you stop?
68
00:04:17,222 --> 00:04:19,397
Get it out now 'cause
you can't do that onstage.
69
00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:22,192
And we're done. And
we're done. Okay, good.
70
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,194
Do I need to be wearing
a glitter onesie?
71
00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:25,748
You only have to wear
this for two hours.
72
00:04:25,851 --> 00:04:27,819
Do not mess this up, do you
hear me? This is on loan.
73
00:04:27,922 --> 00:04:29,924
Everyone's wearing sequins right now.
74
00:04:31,443 --> 00:04:33,514
- Why is she taking my photo?
- This is Allison.
75
00:04:33,618 --> 00:04:35,930
She is our new social media manager.
76
00:04:36,034 --> 00:04:38,864
And she's gonna be helping us
target that younger demographic.
77
00:04:38,968 --> 00:04:41,453
Meaning women in their 30s
who wish they were in their 20s.
78
00:04:41,557 --> 00:04:43,075
Hey, what's up?
79
00:04:43,179 --> 00:04:46,527
Um, I took over your socials,
so this morning you tweeted,
80
00:04:46,631 --> 00:04:51,808
"Where are my ladies at? Meet
me at Ballroom G at 5:00 p.m.
81
00:04:51,912 --> 00:04:53,362
ShawnMendes.
82
00:04:53,465 --> 00:04:56,330
GaggingToMeetYouAll."
83
00:04:56,434 --> 00:04:58,988
Okay, we are having fun. Let's go.
84
00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:02,060
We need to remind people
that you are still alive.
85
00:05:02,163 --> 00:05:03,579
People know I'm alive.
86
00:05:03,682 --> 00:05:05,650
And to remind them why this used to be
87
00:05:05,753 --> 00:05:07,824
- the best selling franchise.
- In Romance.
88
00:05:07,928 --> 00:05:10,551
Yes, which is the top
revenue-generating literary category.
89
00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:13,520
Revenue-generating isn't how I would
describe our presales right now.
90
00:05:13,623 --> 00:05:15,763
Just think of this as a way
that uses word of mouth.
91
00:05:15,867 --> 00:05:17,489
Oh, you want word of mouth?
Here we go. How's this?
92
00:05:17,593 --> 00:05:20,389
"The only thing more lost than
the city is the author herself."
93
00:05:20,492 --> 00:05:22,252
"Loveless." "Passionless."
94
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:26,256
Uh, "Way past her prime." And, oh,
"This is fake history at its worst."
95
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,535
A book tour could
change everything, okay?
96
00:05:28,638 --> 00:05:30,951
We have to remind the fans
why they love you so much.
97
00:05:31,054 --> 00:05:34,644
Real history. I merely season
it with a smidge more nudity.
98
00:05:34,748 --> 00:05:36,957
History had a ton of nudity.
99
00:05:37,820 --> 00:05:39,891
Deep exploration.
100
00:05:39,994 --> 00:05:42,480
Steamy wondering.
101
00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:47,623
Will Lovemore and Dash find Queen
Taha's priceless Crown of Fire?
102
00:05:47,726 --> 00:05:49,521
Join them on their search.
103
00:05:49,625 --> 00:05:51,558
So, listen, I wanted to talk
to you about something.
104
00:05:51,661 --> 00:05:52,904
There's so many people.
105
00:05:53,007 --> 00:05:55,147
I know how much you
hate doing these things,
106
00:05:55,251 --> 00:05:57,978
so I've invited Alan to do
the Q and A with you today.
107
00:05:58,081 --> 00:06:00,083
- What?
- And the rest of the book tour.
108
00:06:00,187 --> 00:06:03,155
Beth, I expressly asked not to do any
more events with Dash... Alan, Alan!
109
00:06:03,259 --> 00:06:06,089
- He's gonna humiliate me.
- He's not gonna humiliate you.
110
00:06:06,193 --> 00:06:09,230
Thank you. You're very good at your
job. Thank you so much. Thank you.
111
00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:10,542
Let me help you with that.
112
00:06:10,646 --> 00:06:12,544
He is... He's a body wash commercial.
113
00:06:12,648 --> 00:06:14,512
He's always glistening
all over the place.
114
00:06:14,615 --> 00:06:17,515
There hasn't been an event
where his shirt didn't come flying off.
115
00:06:17,618 --> 00:06:19,137
- You wish.
- Well, he's already here,
116
00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,381
so put on your big-girl panties
and let's get out there.
117
00:06:21,484 --> 00:06:24,660
Remember, no grumpy face, big
words or boring academic talk.
118
00:06:24,763 --> 00:06:28,042
Yes! Yes!
119
00:06:28,146 --> 00:06:30,079
Come on, RTP!
120
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,667
Ha-ha!
121
00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:34,014
Yes, my Lovemore-heads!
122
00:06:34,117 --> 00:06:37,569
I am so excited to introduce to you
123
00:06:37,673 --> 00:06:41,504
the award-winning author, Loretta Sage!
124
00:06:41,608 --> 00:06:44,162
- Beth, I can't do this. I'm not ready.
- Are you kidding me?
125
00:06:44,265 --> 00:06:45,991
Listen, I've got your
back. You got this.
126
00:06:46,095 --> 00:06:47,614
Go give the people what they want.
127
00:06:47,717 --> 00:06:49,581
- It's not me they want.
- Get out there now!
128
00:06:52,135 --> 00:06:55,967
Hi. How are you? Nice
to see you. Thank you.
129
00:07:01,317 --> 00:07:03,043
Yep. Mount it.
130
00:07:05,494 --> 00:07:08,393
Mount it. Mount it. Okay.
131
00:07:08,497 --> 00:07:10,188
Find your center.
132
00:07:10,291 --> 00:07:13,847
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
133
00:07:13,950 --> 00:07:15,711
The sexiest...
134
00:07:15,814 --> 00:07:19,818
...most influential
hero of a generation.
135
00:07:19,922 --> 00:07:21,130
That's a bit strong.
136
00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:23,857
His 20th cover of an
Angela Lovemore novel.
137
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,584
Dash McMahon!
138
00:07:32,037 --> 00:07:34,557
Oh, my God! Dash!
139
00:07:57,235 --> 00:07:59,582
- Take a bow.
- I already did mine. I did mine.
140
00:07:59,686 --> 00:08:02,654
Okay, come on. One more. I got you.
141
00:08:17,669 --> 00:08:19,326
Did you guys rehearse that? Oh, my God.
142
00:08:19,429 --> 00:08:23,261
I'm loving this chemistry
between you two, and I got to say,
143
00:08:23,364 --> 00:08:25,505
I love this book.
144
00:08:25,608 --> 00:08:26,678
- Oh, thank you, Ray.
- Thank...
145
00:08:26,782 --> 00:08:28,128
Spoiler alert.
146
00:08:28,231 --> 00:08:29,509
A really bold choice
147
00:08:29,612 --> 00:08:31,545
to not have them go
into the tomb at the end.
148
00:08:31,649 --> 00:08:33,271
Talk about what went into this one.
149
00:08:33,374 --> 00:08:36,826
I mean, this one's such a
special book for me personally.
150
00:08:36,930 --> 00:08:39,760
I... I don't know how to say
how much it means to me
151
00:08:39,864 --> 00:08:41,969
that Loretta, word
writer extraordinaire,
152
00:08:42,073 --> 00:08:45,110
has, you know, named the book after me.
153
00:08:45,214 --> 00:08:47,043
The Lost City of Dash.
154
00:08:47,147 --> 00:08:48,251
The Lost City of D.
155
00:08:48,355 --> 00:08:50,599
Um, but that's not
what the D stands for.
156
00:08:50,702 --> 00:08:53,291
- It's D for "dick," right?
- No dick, no.
157
00:08:53,394 --> 00:08:56,501
It's based on the name of an ancient
tribe, Dapocagihou-dysphem-ica.
158
00:08:56,605 --> 00:09:01,161
And, um, it was too difficult for the
European colonizers to pronounce,
159
00:09:01,264 --> 00:09:04,544
- so, in true colonial fashion they abbreviated it.
- No one cares about this.
160
00:09:04,647 --> 00:09:06,373
That's so interesting. Okay.
161
00:09:06,476 --> 00:09:08,789
How about we take some
questions from the audience?
162
00:09:08,893 --> 00:09:10,688
Yes.
163
00:09:10,791 --> 00:09:14,933
Dash, what's your
favorite romantic moment?
164
00:09:15,037 --> 00:09:19,559
What I would really like to know is what
is Loretta's favorite romantic moment?
165
00:09:19,662 --> 00:09:21,595
Ooh, spicy.
166
00:09:21,699 --> 00:09:23,632
Oh, uh...
167
00:09:23,735 --> 00:09:26,427
Well, being a sapiosexual...
168
00:09:26,531 --> 00:09:28,740
Oh, is that when they do
the snakes around the...
169
00:09:28,844 --> 00:09:32,917
No. That's someone
who finds, uh, intellect
170
00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:36,921
or intelligence, uh,
very sexy, you know.
171
00:09:37,024 --> 00:09:38,129
Same.
172
00:09:38,612 --> 00:09:39,855
Really?
173
00:09:39,958 --> 00:09:42,374
Dash! Rip off your shirt!
174
00:09:42,478 --> 00:09:46,206
No, no, no. We're not gonna do that
today. We're here for Loretta's book.
175
00:09:46,309 --> 00:09:48,173
Do we have questions for Loretta?
176
00:09:48,277 --> 00:09:53,454
Uh, yes, studious-looking young
lady? What would you like to ask me?
177
00:09:53,558 --> 00:09:55,595
Can you rip off Dash's shirt?
178
00:09:57,148 --> 00:09:59,978
No, no. We're not gonna
do this again. Sorry.
179
00:10:00,082 --> 00:10:02,602
Rip it off! Rip it off!
180
00:10:02,705 --> 00:10:05,018
Rip it off! Rip it off! Rip it off!
181
00:10:05,121 --> 00:10:08,849
Of course. Of course, yes. Can do.
182
00:10:09,816 --> 00:10:11,093
Is this happening?
183
00:10:11,196 --> 00:10:12,922
- You don't have to do this.
- Oh, we have to.
184
00:10:13,026 --> 00:10:15,097
We have to give the people
what they want. Yes, yes.
185
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,927
We have to give the people
what they want, yes.
186
00:10:18,031 --> 00:10:21,275
Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy.
187
00:10:21,379 --> 00:10:26,039
Because The Lost City of
D is Dash's final adventure.
188
00:10:26,142 --> 00:10:28,213
If there even is a next book,
189
00:10:28,317 --> 00:10:31,423
it will open with Lovemore
receiving the tragic news
190
00:10:31,527 --> 00:10:33,874
of his untimely death.
191
00:10:33,978 --> 00:10:35,358
What?
192
00:10:35,462 --> 00:10:36,912
Shit. I'm sorry. My smartwatch
is stuck.Ow. Hold on.
193
00:10:37,015 --> 00:10:38,085
I know. Don't pull it.
194
00:10:38,189 --> 00:10:39,708
It's okay. Just be real still.
195
00:10:39,811 --> 00:10:41,226
- No. That's pulling it.
- You're pulling it.
196
00:10:41,330 --> 00:10:43,919
You're gonna rip my
wig off. No, you can't...
197
00:10:48,337 --> 00:10:49,303
Oh, my!
198
00:10:49,407 --> 00:10:50,822
- Oh, my God.
- Is he okay?
199
00:10:50,926 --> 00:10:52,548
God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
200
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,309
- I'm so sorry.
- You're a bad person.
201
00:10:55,413 --> 00:10:59,659
Stick around for the costume
contest at 6:00 p.m.
202
00:11:00,521 --> 00:11:02,765
"If there is another book"?
203
00:11:02,869 --> 00:11:07,770
I'm investing everything
we've got into this tour, okay?
204
00:11:07,874 --> 00:11:11,325
I just don't think I have another
Dash and Lovemore adventure in me.
205
00:11:11,429 --> 00:11:12,810
How does Dash die?
206
00:11:12,913 --> 00:11:15,053
- Was it the snakes?
- No.
207
00:11:15,157 --> 00:11:17,504
Okay, so I have something
that I have to take care of.
208
00:11:17,607 --> 00:11:20,058
You guys have an interview
in the next suite in ten minutes.
209
00:11:20,162 --> 00:11:22,578
So can you please do me
a favor and be grown-ups
210
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,200
and get yourselves there on your own?
211
00:11:24,304 --> 00:11:25,512
Okay. Thank you so much.
212
00:11:26,306 --> 00:11:28,377
Does he die from a staph infection?
213
00:11:30,344 --> 00:11:32,415
It is a staph infection. I knew it.
214
00:11:33,589 --> 00:11:34,970
I-I... All right.
215
00:11:35,073 --> 00:11:38,145
Look, I get it if you need
a break or something,
216
00:11:38,249 --> 00:11:40,251
- but you can't just kill me, okay?
- Okay.
217
00:11:40,354 --> 00:11:44,738
I hate that I have to ask this, but
you do know you're not Dash, right?
218
00:11:44,842 --> 00:11:47,016
Dash is a character I made up.
219
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,362
Dash?
220
00:11:51,193 --> 00:11:52,435
Thanks.
221
00:11:52,539 --> 00:11:53,747
Thank you.
222
00:11:56,232 --> 00:11:58,510
- Loretta, it's this way.
- No, I think it's this way.
223
00:11:58,614 --> 00:12:00,961
Can't you see that Dash
means so much to people?
224
00:12:01,065 --> 00:12:02,929
- Means so much to you.
- Not to me.
225
00:12:03,032 --> 00:12:04,689
Well, yeah, to me, but
to other people too.
226
00:12:04,793 --> 00:12:07,761
- What about Beth?
- You know what? Beth is gonna be fine.
227
00:12:07,865 --> 00:12:11,696
She's gonna find plenty fresh,
young writers full of great ideas.
228
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,802
You can transition gracefully
229
00:12:13,905 --> 00:12:16,252
into the shirt-on phase
of your modeling career,
230
00:12:16,356 --> 00:12:17,702
and I can be left alone.
231
00:12:17,806 --> 00:12:19,531
Everybody is happy.
232
00:12:19,635 --> 00:12:21,430
No, it's this way.
233
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,363
Beth says you don't even
leave the house anymore.
234
00:12:23,466 --> 00:12:25,503
I don't feel like that's very happy.
235
00:12:25,606 --> 00:12:28,506
You should be going out in the world,
filling yourself up on new experiences.
236
00:12:28,609 --> 00:12:30,853
I'm already filled up.
I'm full. I'm fully satiated.
237
00:12:30,957 --> 00:12:34,305
Why would you want to be stuck at home
alone when you could see the world?
238
00:12:34,408 --> 00:12:35,927
You could be visiting ancient Greece.
239
00:12:36,031 --> 00:12:38,930
Okay. How could I visit ancient Greece?
240
00:12:39,034 --> 00:12:41,070
I get it. Because
you're afraid of flying.
241
00:12:41,174 --> 00:12:44,591
No. Because ancient
Greece is in the past.
242
00:12:44,694 --> 00:12:46,248
Just like Dash.
243
00:12:46,351 --> 00:12:49,561
Okay. You want to know who
else is stuck in the past? You are.
244
00:12:49,665 --> 00:12:52,426
You're so afraid of life hurting
you again that you've stopped living.
245
00:12:52,530 --> 00:12:54,843
You're like a human mummy.
246
00:12:56,327 --> 00:12:58,363
I didn't, um...
247
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:00,814
Oh.
248
00:13:00,918 --> 00:13:03,058
Mummies are human.
249
00:13:12,343 --> 00:13:14,310
Stupid... Oh, crap.
250
00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:17,348
I'm so sorry. I-I will clean this up.
251
00:13:17,451 --> 00:13:19,937
I am not a litterer,
I-I assure you that.
252
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,526
Do you, um... Do you think you
could, uh, call a car for me, please?
253
00:13:23,630 --> 00:13:25,149
Thank you. Thank you.
254
00:13:27,910 --> 00:13:29,084
Bring the car around.
255
00:13:29,187 --> 00:13:30,637
God, is that someone's retainer?
256
00:13:30,740 --> 00:13:33,088
I've never said the right
thing one time around her.
257
00:13:33,191 --> 00:13:35,124
I get nervous because
she opens her mouth,
258
00:13:35,228 --> 00:13:39,680
and just an encyclopedia of beautifulness
comes out, and I just never say...
259
00:13:39,784 --> 00:13:41,096
You know she's trying to kill me?
260
00:13:41,199 --> 00:13:43,374
I just need those tomatoes.
261
00:13:43,477 --> 00:13:45,825
You're right. No, you're right.
262
00:13:45,928 --> 00:13:47,412
I should apologize. Thank you, man.
263
00:13:47,516 --> 00:13:49,759
- I appreciate that very, very much.
- You're welcome.
264
00:13:59,908 --> 00:14:02,186
Uh, Loretta Sage. Yeah.
265
00:14:07,398 --> 00:14:08,502
Uh...
266
00:14:09,814 --> 00:14:11,022
Hiya.
267
00:14:11,126 --> 00:14:12,610
Uh, I did not order an UberPool.
268
00:14:12,713 --> 00:14:15,682
Someone wants to meet you.
We'll have you right back.
269
00:14:15,785 --> 00:14:16,959
Um...
270
00:14:20,445 --> 00:14:21,722
Loretta!
271
00:14:21,826 --> 00:14:23,345
Loretta! Loretta?
272
00:14:26,244 --> 00:14:28,108
Uh, Loretta?
273
00:14:28,212 --> 00:14:30,800
- Did you say "Loretta"?
- Yeah.
274
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,112
- Follow that SUV, man.
- No.
275
00:14:32,216 --> 00:14:33,976
- Come on, please!
- No, no, no.
276
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,152
I'm not helping any more handsome
strangers. Fool me once. Mm-mmm.
277
00:14:37,255 --> 00:14:40,569
What is this, Taken? Am I "tooken"?
278
00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:42,088
Am I sold already?
279
00:14:42,191 --> 00:14:45,194
Am I... Am I sold to him?
280
00:14:45,298 --> 00:14:48,957
- Ow. Stop.
- Oh, no. Did this feel creepy?
281
00:14:49,060 --> 00:14:51,683
I said don't make it creepy, guys.
282
00:14:51,787 --> 00:14:53,616
I'm so sorry about the setting.
283
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,309
I just flew in. I was in a
real panic to meet you.
284
00:14:56,412 --> 00:14:58,483
I didn't have time to
dress the place up much.
285
00:14:58,587 --> 00:15:01,383
I read you love cheese,
so I just got them all.
286
00:15:01,486 --> 00:15:05,559
Are you the one who's been
emailing me for photos of my feet?
287
00:15:05,663 --> 00:15:07,527
No. Um...
288
00:15:07,630 --> 00:15:11,945
And I promise what I'm about to show
you is gonna make you very happy.
289
00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:13,913
But first, a little bit
290
00:15:14,016 --> 00:15:17,226
about the mysterious
rogue you see before you.
291
00:15:17,330 --> 00:15:19,608
Uh, my name is Abigail Fairfax.
292
00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:22,645
- Abigail?
- It's a gender-neutral name, like Leslie or Beverly.
293
00:15:22,749 --> 00:15:26,442
Yes, but you're Abigail Fairfax
of the media-mogul Fairfaxes?
294
00:15:27,374 --> 00:15:30,584
Didn't you just take
over your company or...
295
00:15:30,688 --> 00:15:34,623
No, that was my brother, actually.
That was Leslie. We're all very proud.
296
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:37,833
Ah. Yes, I should say so,
at such a young age to...
297
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,869
Some might even say too young.
298
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,700
But that world never
really interested me.
299
00:15:42,803 --> 00:15:45,392
My passions, as you may know,
300
00:15:45,496 --> 00:15:48,602
lie in the hidden things in the world,
301
00:15:48,706 --> 00:15:51,329
things which defy possession.
302
00:15:51,433 --> 00:15:54,470
Um, some might call me a collector.
303
00:15:54,574 --> 00:15:58,267
But there is one
obsession in particular
304
00:15:58,371 --> 00:16:00,476
that has held me captive.
305
00:16:01,650 --> 00:16:03,134
The Crown of Fire
306
00:16:03,238 --> 00:16:05,619
and its cascading red diamonds.
307
00:16:05,723 --> 00:16:09,382
Is this a... Is this a
hidden-camera thing?
308
00:16:09,485 --> 00:16:13,075
So imagine my surprise
when, in your new book,
309
00:16:13,179 --> 00:16:16,458
amidst the pages of coital reverie,
310
00:16:16,561 --> 00:16:17,390
was something...
311
00:16:17,493 --> 00:16:19,564
- Oh, God...
- quite magnificent.
312
00:16:21,428 --> 00:16:23,983
I get it. I get it. I
so get it right now.
313
00:16:24,086 --> 00:16:25,398
Oh, my gosh.
314
00:16:25,501 --> 00:16:27,676
I literally thought you
guys kidnapped me.
315
00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:30,265
I mean, this is marketing,
right? Beth set this up?
316
00:16:30,368 --> 00:16:33,268
This was so good, you
guys. This was amazing.
317
00:16:33,371 --> 00:16:36,616
You, with your gun and your mustache
318
00:16:36,719 --> 00:16:39,688
and your, "You'd better get
in there" and you know...
319
00:16:40,896 --> 00:16:42,415
Oh, my God.
320
00:16:42,518 --> 00:16:46,281
You, with the G.I. Joe
tone-on-tone outfit.
321
00:16:46,384 --> 00:16:51,389
Your fictional archaeologist was making
real translations of a dead language.
322
00:16:51,493 --> 00:16:54,392
- Mm-hmm.
- Something nobody else has been able to do.
323
00:16:54,496 --> 00:16:56,912
Well, nobody else had ever tried.
324
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,845
Is that right? Am I
saying the right thing?
325
00:16:58,948 --> 00:17:00,605
Except you, right?
326
00:17:00,709 --> 00:17:02,676
Except me!
327
00:17:02,780 --> 00:17:04,506
Yes. See, it turns out
328
00:17:04,609 --> 00:17:07,923
Loretta Sage was once a young
college girl doing her dissertation
329
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,891
on the dead language of
the D with her future husband,
330
00:17:10,995 --> 00:17:14,102
dreaming of finding Kalaman's
tomb and the Crown of Fire.
331
00:17:14,205 --> 00:17:17,312
I was sorry to read you gave
up your search after he died.
332
00:17:17,415 --> 00:17:19,038
But what that means is,
333
00:17:20,315 --> 00:17:22,213
you're all I have left.
334
00:17:22,317 --> 00:17:25,492
All-All you have left for... what?
335
00:17:25,596 --> 00:17:26,631
Hmm.
336
00:17:28,426 --> 00:17:29,669
Oh.
337
00:17:29,772 --> 00:17:31,153
Here we go.
338
00:17:45,271 --> 00:17:46,996
What is this?
339
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:50,793
I believe it is describing the
exact location of Kalaman's tomb,
340
00:17:50,897 --> 00:17:54,349
in which Taha and her
priceless headdress are buried.
341
00:17:54,452 --> 00:17:56,592
Well, if this were authentic,
342
00:17:56,696 --> 00:18:02,046
you would still have
to uncover an entire city
343
00:18:02,150 --> 00:18:05,187
that nobody has been able to find.
344
00:18:05,291 --> 00:18:06,947
I found it.
345
00:18:07,051 --> 00:18:10,192
On a tiny, forgotten island in
the Atlantic called Isla Hundida.
346
00:18:10,296 --> 00:18:13,851
What I have not been able to
find is Kalaman's final resting place.
347
00:18:13,954 --> 00:18:18,235
This piece of parchment is the
only clue we found among the ruins.
348
00:18:18,338 --> 00:18:21,479
I need someone who can
decipher these symbols.
349
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,654
I need you.
350
00:18:24,793 --> 00:18:26,243
- Well...
- Miss Sage,
351
00:18:26,346 --> 00:18:29,729
surely this isn't how you
want your story to end.
352
00:18:29,832 --> 00:18:32,421
We both had our dreams
crushed by bad luck,
353
00:18:32,525 --> 00:18:34,768
or in my case, an
arse-kissing little brother,
354
00:18:34,872 --> 00:18:37,978
but this is our chance
to show them all.
355
00:18:38,082 --> 00:18:39,670
Come with me... to the island.
356
00:18:39,773 --> 00:18:44,916
Translate these symbols and
help me find the Crown of Fire.
357
00:18:45,020 --> 00:18:47,643
You can name your price.
358
00:18:50,267 --> 00:18:53,097
I must respectfully decline.
359
00:18:57,964 --> 00:18:59,172
Well...
360
00:19:00,794 --> 00:19:02,762
I can't say I'm not disappointed.
361
00:19:03,659 --> 00:19:06,145
But I understand how you feel.
362
00:19:09,493 --> 00:19:11,253
Will you at least let
us give you a ride?
363
00:19:11,357 --> 00:19:15,637
Oh, no, thank you. I'll call
for my own car, and I'll just...
364
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:40,972
I don't feel like you're listening
to me. This is urgent, and we...
365
00:19:41,076 --> 00:19:44,010
Okay, so the police are saying
that they put out an APB...
366
00:19:44,113 --> 00:19:45,770
- APB...
- on an SUV,
367
00:19:45,874 --> 00:19:48,117
- and there's this 24-hour rule...
- Why is there a rule?
368
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:50,637
- ...and they won't do anything until...
- What about the FBI or the CIA?
369
00:19:50,741 --> 00:19:52,708
- They said to call the police.
- I'm sure Loretta's fine.
370
00:19:52,812 --> 00:19:55,401
When I was in college, my
friend Nicki went missing.
371
00:19:55,504 --> 00:19:57,126
Everyone was, like, freaking out.
372
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:59,577
But then she was just in her car.
373
00:19:59,681 --> 00:20:02,856
She was dead, but we
found her. She wasn't gone.
374
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:07,309
Um, what about...
Maybe we could get a PI
375
00:20:07,413 --> 00:20:09,932
or, like, you know,
private security or...
376
00:20:10,036 --> 00:20:11,934
What about an extraction
team, like the movie?
377
00:20:12,038 --> 00:20:14,523
Yes! But who does that?
The ex-military, right?
378
00:20:14,627 --> 00:20:17,216
Oh, yeah. I think I actually have
somebody that could help us.
379
00:20:17,319 --> 00:20:20,288
- Oh.
- I did this meditation retreat,
380
00:20:20,391 --> 00:20:22,462
and there was this trainer guy there.
381
00:20:22,566 --> 00:20:24,084
You should see this guy meditate.
382
00:20:24,188 --> 00:20:25,603
But he's ex-Navy SEAL.
383
00:20:25,707 --> 00:20:29,504
He... He's a special ops
trainer. What was his name?
384
00:20:30,194 --> 00:20:31,333
Yeah. Jack Trainer.
385
00:20:31,437 --> 00:20:33,059
So he's a trainer named Jack Trainer?
386
00:20:33,162 --> 00:20:35,337
That's how I have everybody in
my phone. See, "Janice Mom."
387
00:20:35,441 --> 00:20:36,890
"Larry Doorknob." "Stacy Butt Stuff."
388
00:20:36,994 --> 00:20:39,686
Look, this is what this
guy does. He finds people.
389
00:20:39,790 --> 00:20:42,068
If there's anybody that
can help us, it's him.
390
00:20:49,006 --> 00:20:51,526
- Jack Trainer.
- Oh, so his name is actually Jack Trainer.
391
00:20:51,629 --> 00:20:55,530
Hi, uh, this is Alan from
"Touching Your Inner Self."
392
00:20:57,014 --> 00:20:58,843
The meditation retreat?
393
00:21:00,569 --> 00:21:03,641
Anyway, uh, okay. Our friend
Loretta has been kidnapped,
394
00:21:03,745 --> 00:21:05,194
and no one's helping us.
395
00:21:05,298 --> 00:21:06,782
How long she been missing?
396
00:21:06,886 --> 00:21:08,128
Maybe two hours now.
397
00:21:08,232 --> 00:21:09,544
Who is that?
398
00:21:09,647 --> 00:21:13,686
Um, this is B... This
is Beth. I'm Beth.
399
00:21:13,789 --> 00:21:16,205
And Allison is on too, sir.
400
00:21:16,309 --> 00:21:18,518
Did she have any Wi-Fi-enabled devices?
401
00:21:18,622 --> 00:21:21,521
- She's got her phone, right?
- No, I have her phone.
402
00:21:21,625 --> 00:21:24,248
Oh! She has a smartwatch.
It ripped my wig off.
403
00:21:24,352 --> 00:21:27,286
What was that scenario?
Never mind. Open the phone.
404
00:21:27,389 --> 00:21:28,942
- Go to the smartwatch app.
- All right.
405
00:21:29,046 --> 00:21:31,359
Then hit "Find My Smartwatch."
406
00:21:31,462 --> 00:21:34,396
Oh, my... That is so good.
That's why we called.
407
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:36,950
"Anticipate the difficult
by managing the easy."
408
00:21:37,054 --> 00:21:40,747
- Is that Oprah or Deepak?
- Laozi fromTao-te Ching.
409
00:21:40,851 --> 00:21:42,059
Oh, my God.
410
00:21:42,162 --> 00:21:43,854
It's in the Atlantic.
411
00:21:43,957 --> 00:21:46,305
- She's on a plane?
- How can you tell that?
412
00:21:46,408 --> 00:21:48,583
'Cause she can't swim that fast.
413
00:21:48,686 --> 00:21:50,136
Doesn't sound like a ransom scenario.
414
00:21:50,239 --> 00:21:52,863
My guess is blood sport,
Hunger Games type situation.
415
00:21:52,966 --> 00:21:55,797
Possibly some coke-fueled
dark web scavenger hunt.
416
00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:57,937
Real clown shit. We'll
have to move fast.
417
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,974
- How do we pay you?
- Cryptocurrency. Cash App.
418
00:22:01,078 --> 00:22:04,564
I'll have her back within 48 hours
or your next rescue is free.
419
00:22:04,668 --> 00:22:06,152
How many people need a next rescue?
420
00:22:06,255 --> 00:22:07,774
More than you'd think.
421
00:22:07,878 --> 00:22:09,707
- I'm gonna need that phone.
- I'll bring it to you.
422
00:22:09,811 --> 00:22:12,572
Let me know where she lands.
I'll meet you there, Alan.
423
00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:28,623
Hello.
424
00:22:33,213 --> 00:22:34,353
Where am I?
425
00:22:34,456 --> 00:22:36,458
Um, you're on my plane.
426
00:22:36,562 --> 00:22:37,770
It's nice, isn't it? Hmm?
427
00:22:37,873 --> 00:22:39,703
The seats are made
of mama llama leather.
428
00:22:39,806 --> 00:22:42,913
Well, I'm getting off your plane.
429
00:22:43,016 --> 00:22:44,397
Unchain me!
430
00:22:44,501 --> 00:22:46,054
That's your seat belt.
431
00:22:46,641 --> 00:22:48,505
Did you chloroform me?
432
00:22:48,608 --> 00:22:50,817
People actually do that?
433
00:22:53,199 --> 00:22:55,857
Well, you know, it's
a classic for a reason.
434
00:22:56,547 --> 00:22:57,790
My body feels drunk.
435
00:22:57,893 --> 00:22:59,792
It'll wear off in a bit. I am sorry.
436
00:22:59,895 --> 00:23:02,311
I just couldn't wait around
for you to change your mind.
437
00:23:02,415 --> 00:23:04,866
- Stop playing jelly.
- Time is not on our side.
438
00:23:04,969 --> 00:23:07,696
You see, the volcano
we're excavating around
439
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,767
has developed a bad
case of indigestion.
440
00:23:09,871 --> 00:23:11,735
I'm rather worried that when it blows,
441
00:23:11,838 --> 00:23:13,909
everything that's left of the
Lost City will be destroyed.
442
00:23:14,013 --> 00:23:15,911
Oh, my God. My legs don't work.
443
00:23:16,015 --> 00:23:21,434
So, this is our last chance to
find both the tomb and the crown.
444
00:23:21,538 --> 00:23:23,574
Oh, God. Oh!
445
00:23:23,678 --> 00:23:25,956
Don't worry. That's
just our final descent.
446
00:23:26,059 --> 00:23:32,065
But it is the beginning of the
greatest adventure of your life.
447
00:24:40,686 --> 00:24:42,757
Welcome to the Lost City.
448
00:24:52,387 --> 00:24:53,802
How did you find it?
449
00:24:53,906 --> 00:24:56,046
So, the city was built on a lava dome.
450
00:24:56,149 --> 00:24:58,842
As the volcano became active,
the dome filled with lava,
451
00:24:58,945 --> 00:25:01,569
and sunken things rose to the surface.
452
00:25:01,672 --> 00:25:03,571
The D exposed itself.
453
00:25:03,674 --> 00:25:06,712
- The entire city?
- No, no. Just the tip.
454
00:25:06,815 --> 00:25:10,025
As soon as I heard rumors of the ruins,
I flew over and bought the place.
455
00:25:10,129 --> 00:25:13,408
- The site?
- No. The island. The southern half.
456
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:15,859
I got a good deal 'cause
this is where the lava flows.
457
00:25:15,962 --> 00:25:18,206
We've been excavating for a year now.
458
00:25:19,276 --> 00:25:21,830
One doesn't kidnap a
romance novelist on day one.
459
00:25:21,934 --> 00:25:23,970
Ah, yes, as the saying goes.
460
00:25:24,074 --> 00:25:27,077
Rafi doesn't like it. Do you, Rafi?
461
00:25:27,180 --> 00:25:30,356
He says we're
disrespecting his heritage.
462
00:25:30,459 --> 00:25:33,704
But not a lot of other job options
on the island, are there, Rafi?
463
00:25:33,808 --> 00:25:35,879
Beggars can't be choosers.
464
00:25:45,716 --> 00:25:47,546
No more charcuterie, I take it.
465
00:25:47,649 --> 00:25:49,755
Mmm. Please. I'm not a monster.
466
00:25:49,858 --> 00:25:51,688
Whatever you need, just shout.
467
00:25:53,206 --> 00:25:58,073
Uh, leave one hand free.
She has some translating to do.
468
00:25:59,281 --> 00:26:00,524
And then what?
469
00:26:00,628 --> 00:26:03,147
Loretta, I really wish
you would try and see
470
00:26:03,251 --> 00:26:05,391
what an exciting
opportunity this is for us.
471
00:26:05,494 --> 00:26:09,395
I believe this text describes
the exact location of the tomb.
472
00:26:09,498 --> 00:26:12,018
It's a logographic system.
473
00:26:12,778 --> 00:26:15,366
Like cuneiform or hieroglyphics.
474
00:26:15,470 --> 00:26:19,267
Now, if you have other documents
that possibly I can compare...
475
00:26:19,370 --> 00:26:20,648
Yeah, no luck there.
476
00:26:20,751 --> 00:26:23,547
We found some scratching
at a nearby waterfall,
477
00:26:23,651 --> 00:26:24,548
but it was useless.
478
00:26:24,652 --> 00:26:26,205
Just pictures of women.
479
00:26:26,308 --> 00:26:30,899
Look, I, too, wish your dear
old dead archaeologist husband
480
00:26:31,003 --> 00:26:33,730
was here to help, but he's not, so,
481
00:26:33,833 --> 00:26:36,940
time to shine, Loretta,
sex-book writer.
482
00:26:38,355 --> 00:26:40,081
They will come for me.
483
00:26:40,668 --> 00:26:42,393
Who, exactly?
484
00:26:42,497 --> 00:26:44,223
Your... Your many cats?
485
00:26:44,326 --> 00:26:46,121
Oh, I don't have cats.
486
00:26:46,708 --> 00:26:48,537
Somehow even more sad.
487
00:26:48,641 --> 00:26:51,610
I have a hamster, asshole!
488
00:26:51,713 --> 00:26:53,370
You have a hamster's asshole?
489
00:26:53,473 --> 00:26:57,236
No, there was a... there was
a comma between... Forget it.
490
00:26:57,339 --> 00:27:00,757
I bet your brother never
had to kidnap anyone!
491
00:27:51,497 --> 00:27:53,085
Good to see you, man.
492
00:27:53,188 --> 00:27:54,811
- Phone.
- Right.
493
00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:07,927
What?
494
00:28:08,031 --> 00:28:10,619
Yeah, I was thinking
that I could, you know,
495
00:28:10,723 --> 00:28:12,311
maybe just sort of come with you.
496
00:28:12,414 --> 00:28:14,175
- Why?
- To help.
497
00:28:14,278 --> 00:28:18,420
I know CPR. I know some
light karate. CrossFit certified.
498
00:28:18,524 --> 00:28:20,043
Okay, okay, listen, listen!
499
00:28:20,906 --> 00:28:22,597
I just... It's my fault.
500
00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:24,806
Not the kidnapping and stuff,
501
00:28:24,910 --> 00:28:27,982
but, like, I said some really
mean stuff to her, and I regret it,
502
00:28:28,085 --> 00:28:29,708
and I just need to take it back.
503
00:28:29,811 --> 00:28:31,192
I called her a human mummy.
504
00:28:32,538 --> 00:28:33,953
Mummies are human.
505
00:28:34,609 --> 00:28:37,025
I'm aware of that now, yes.
506
00:28:37,129 --> 00:28:40,166
That is true.
507
00:28:40,270 --> 00:28:41,271
Please.
508
00:28:42,548 --> 00:28:45,240
All right, Alan, I can't
be responsible for you.
509
00:28:46,207 --> 00:28:47,208
Okay. Yeah.
510
00:28:47,311 --> 00:28:50,280
- I need you to stay in the car.
- Yeah.
511
00:28:50,383 --> 00:28:52,489
- In the car.
- In the car.
512
00:28:52,592 --> 00:28:55,043
- The whole time.
- The whole time?
513
00:28:55,147 --> 00:28:56,389
Whole time.
514
00:28:56,493 --> 00:28:57,736
Mm-hmm.
515
00:28:59,496 --> 00:29:00,773
Yes!
516
00:29:07,711 --> 00:29:09,057
This is me.
517
00:29:09,955 --> 00:29:12,233
Really? Is this what
the SEAL teams use?
518
00:29:12,336 --> 00:29:14,994
"Only a fool chooses
a horse by its color."
519
00:29:15,098 --> 00:29:17,894
Right, right. The Tao-te Ching?
520
00:29:17,997 --> 00:29:21,138
No, it was on the sign back
there at the rental place.
521
00:29:29,664 --> 00:29:30,872
Thank you.
522
00:30:03,698 --> 00:30:05,148
What? What?
523
00:30:07,391 --> 00:30:09,393
I was hoping to
invite you to breakfast,
524
00:30:09,497 --> 00:30:12,155
but it looks like you
still have work to do.
525
00:30:13,121 --> 00:30:14,882
Uh, wait, wait, wait.
526
00:30:14,985 --> 00:30:16,504
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
527
00:30:16,607 --> 00:30:18,609
I believe this says
528
00:30:18,713 --> 00:30:20,715
"rest" or "resting."
529
00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:23,718
So it would be, "Kalaman
and his treasure..."
530
00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:28,309
And then there are some missing
pieces, and then "rest," "resting,"
531
00:30:28,412 --> 00:30:31,830
and something about "tears," so...
532
00:30:33,624 --> 00:30:34,625
Resting where?
533
00:30:34,729 --> 00:30:35,937
Hmm? Oh!
534
00:30:36,041 --> 00:30:38,802
Didn't say. It doesn't say.
535
00:30:40,148 --> 00:30:43,151
Miss Sage, I need you to do better.
536
00:30:43,255 --> 00:30:46,706
Then next time maybe don't
kidnap a romance novelist, hmm?
537
00:30:46,810 --> 00:30:49,019
My God, this shouldn't be this hard!
538
00:30:49,123 --> 00:30:51,056
It is not some pauper's
grave we're looking for.
539
00:30:51,159 --> 00:30:53,437
It is a monument to a great man!
540
00:30:53,541 --> 00:30:55,474
King Kalaman was
ambitious, he was powerful,
541
00:30:55,577 --> 00:30:58,028
he was the first man to
build a city in the Atlantic.
542
00:30:58,132 --> 00:31:00,789
The eyes of his subjects
would have turned to him.
543
00:31:00,893 --> 00:31:04,138
He would have had a
pyramid, a ziggurat, a tower
544
00:31:04,241 --> 00:31:06,209
to hold his Crown of Fire.
545
00:31:06,312 --> 00:31:09,212
All I need to know is where it is.
546
00:31:09,315 --> 00:31:12,560
I don't know if you recall,
but you only said translate it.
547
00:31:12,663 --> 00:31:14,803
I-I translated it.
548
00:31:15,597 --> 00:31:17,185
Translate it again.
549
00:31:22,811 --> 00:31:25,849
One day, we're gonna laugh about this.
550
00:31:25,953 --> 00:31:28,093
Such an adventure we're having.
551
00:31:31,199 --> 00:31:35,548
I should go with you, just
for backup and awesomeness.
552
00:31:36,515 --> 00:31:38,172
This is pretty awesome.
553
00:31:38,275 --> 00:31:40,933
You got nature, the radio.
554
00:31:42,072 --> 00:31:45,696
Yeah, you're right, but it's
very, very important to me
555
00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:47,664
that she knows that
I came to rescue her.
556
00:31:47,767 --> 00:31:49,459
Why? Do you like this woman?
557
00:31:50,460 --> 00:31:52,669
No, I just brought snacks and stuff.
558
00:31:52,772 --> 00:31:54,947
And she gets a little
grumpy when she's hungry.
559
00:31:55,051 --> 00:31:58,468
Blood pressure drops. And I get that
because I'm a five-meal-a-day kind of guy.
560
00:31:58,571 --> 00:32:01,367
Do you keto, by the way?
You look like you keto.
561
00:32:01,471 --> 00:32:03,162
- No.
- No. Yeah.
562
00:32:03,266 --> 00:32:04,992
You don't need it.
563
00:32:05,095 --> 00:32:06,579
What is it?
564
00:32:06,683 --> 00:32:10,273
I just want her to think of me
as more than a cover model.
565
00:32:10,376 --> 00:32:14,622
But, Alan, you are so much
more. You're my lookout.
566
00:32:14,725 --> 00:32:18,074
Okay, can I at least do the
part where I put her in the car
567
00:32:18,177 --> 00:32:21,905
and I just go, "Shh. You're safe now"?
568
00:32:22,975 --> 00:32:24,977
Sure, champ. She'll love that.
569
00:32:25,081 --> 00:32:26,945
Oh, you're just going? Going to start?
570
00:32:27,048 --> 00:32:29,464
You're starting the mission now? Okay.
571
00:32:53,661 --> 00:32:55,870
Oh!
572
00:33:04,913 --> 00:33:06,398
Go to sleep.
573
00:33:35,220 --> 00:33:36,359
- Alan.
- What?
574
00:33:36,462 --> 00:33:38,223
This is a breach of trust, Alan.
575
00:33:38,326 --> 00:33:39,879
I can help. Let me help.
576
00:33:43,262 --> 00:33:45,920
Stay close. Stay alive.
577
00:33:50,787 --> 00:33:52,030
Hey.
578
00:33:56,965 --> 00:33:58,484
Go to sleep.
579
00:34:00,866 --> 00:34:04,973
I got his head. What do I do with his
head? I'm just gonna set him down.
580
00:34:11,118 --> 00:34:12,326
No.
581
00:34:12,912 --> 00:34:14,086
Hey, hey, no!
582
00:34:14,190 --> 00:34:15,398
No, no, no!
583
00:34:22,957 --> 00:34:24,786
Ooh, yeah! Ooh.
584
00:34:24,890 --> 00:34:25,856
Ow.
585
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:27,513
Teamwork, yeah!
586
00:34:27,617 --> 00:34:30,896
Great effort, Alan, but that
man was already unconscious.
587
00:34:30,999 --> 00:34:32,691
I was already wound up.
588
00:34:33,623 --> 00:34:36,384
Just don't do it when I'm...
589
00:34:39,456 --> 00:34:40,733
Hi.
590
00:34:42,977 --> 00:34:44,703
Oh!
591
00:34:45,980 --> 00:34:47,602
On your seven!
592
00:34:52,538 --> 00:34:53,608
Oh!
593
00:34:58,406 --> 00:35:00,339
Trainer, he's not asleep!
594
00:35:00,443 --> 00:35:02,617
Stay... Stay down. Stay down.
595
00:35:05,275 --> 00:35:07,795
- You're doing great.
- Thanks.
596
00:35:07,898 --> 00:35:09,417
Where you going?
597
00:35:17,563 --> 00:35:19,047
Loretta Sage?
598
00:35:19,531 --> 00:35:20,325
Yes.
599
00:35:20,428 --> 00:35:22,292
I'm getting you out of here.
600
00:35:23,328 --> 00:35:26,365
- Why are you so handsome?
- My dad was a weatherman.
601
00:35:28,574 --> 00:35:29,403
A-Alan?
602
00:35:29,506 --> 00:35:31,543
- Yeah.
- What are you doing here?
603
00:35:31,646 --> 00:35:34,442
- Uh, irregardless, I'm here to save you.
- That's not...
604
00:35:34,546 --> 00:35:36,789
- I think he meant "regardless."
- Yes.
605
00:35:38,205 --> 00:35:42,174
Ooh, uh, does she need saving in there,
Trainer? I think she's fine there.
606
00:35:42,278 --> 00:35:45,453
No, no, leave it. Don't take
their stuff. They'll come after us.
607
00:35:48,111 --> 00:35:49,664
Alan, why do you keep doing that?
608
00:35:49,768 --> 00:35:51,735
Why do you keep doing
that? I had that one.
609
00:35:51,839 --> 00:35:54,359
It's just getting mean
now. It's unnecessary.
610
00:35:54,462 --> 00:35:56,223
I'm sorry. I just wanted to get one in.
611
00:35:56,326 --> 00:35:58,618
Excuse me. Would it be possible
to remove me from the chair?
612
00:35:58,642 --> 00:35:59,398
No time.
613
00:35:59,502 --> 00:36:01,918
No time? There's been so much chitchat.
614
00:36:02,021 --> 00:36:03,333
We should definitely go.
615
00:36:03,437 --> 00:36:05,059
Let's go! Let's go!
616
00:36:30,912 --> 00:36:32,051
Why are things exploding?
617
00:36:39,714 --> 00:36:40,750
I got...
618
00:36:42,407 --> 00:36:43,615
Okay.
619
00:36:44,512 --> 00:36:45,789
Shh...
620
00:36:45,893 --> 00:36:47,791
Shh. You're safe now.
621
00:36:47,895 --> 00:36:49,034
You're...
622
00:36:49,137 --> 00:36:51,278
How... How are you so calm?
623
00:36:51,381 --> 00:36:53,866
- That was my... That was my line.
- Here.
624
00:36:56,006 --> 00:36:57,905
- What?
- Is that Reiki?
625
00:36:58,008 --> 00:37:00,459
- Are you healing me?
- I think so.
626
00:37:00,563 --> 00:37:03,773
- Ah.
- As Laozi says, "To the mind that is still..."
627
00:37:03,876 --> 00:37:06,776
- "...the whole universe surrenders."
- Hey, yeah, I know some...
628
00:37:06,879 --> 00:37:09,675
I know some, um, quotes that
could be good for this moment.
629
00:37:09,779 --> 00:37:11,505
In omnia paratus.
630
00:37:12,402 --> 00:37:14,266
"Ready for anything."
631
00:37:14,370 --> 00:37:17,027
Maybe we shouldn't be just
staring lovingly into each other's eyes
632
00:37:17,131 --> 00:37:20,583
like you're gonna fall
in love like I'm not here.
633
00:37:21,135 --> 00:37:22,101
Who are you?
634
00:37:22,205 --> 00:37:24,932
Just a guy trying to do his job.
635
00:37:25,035 --> 00:37:27,831
And right now, that job
is to get this lovely lady...
636
00:37:28,660 --> 00:37:30,178
Oh! Oh.
637
00:37:30,282 --> 00:37:32,180
Oh, God. Okay.
638
00:37:33,354 --> 00:37:35,563
No. What is happening?
639
00:37:39,015 --> 00:37:40,982
Okay. What do we do?
640
00:37:41,086 --> 00:37:43,191
We need to do... I can't see.
641
00:37:43,295 --> 00:37:44,710
I don't like it!
642
00:37:44,814 --> 00:37:46,298
Here. Here!
643
00:37:46,402 --> 00:37:48,852
- Why would you throw a gun?
- Seriously?
644
00:37:50,233 --> 00:37:53,063
- Get me out of the chair.
- I can't. We don't have time.
645
00:37:56,619 --> 00:37:58,690
Gotta squeeze! You got
to do a Kegel or something!
646
00:37:58,793 --> 00:38:01,175
- Kegel it!
- What do you think a Kegel is?
647
00:38:01,279 --> 00:38:03,660
I'm not in it, not in! Still not in!
648
00:38:03,764 --> 00:38:06,145
- You got to go in more.
- Stop. Stop. Stop it!
649
00:38:06,249 --> 00:38:08,251
Oh, oh, oh!
650
00:38:08,355 --> 00:38:11,875
Oh, God. Get in the car, get in
the car! Start the car! Start the car!
651
00:38:11,979 --> 00:38:13,256
- Go, go.
- Move your leg.
652
00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,672
- Which one?
- Both of them! Move them!
653
00:38:19,435 --> 00:38:21,402
- Forward, forward!
- Okay. Okay.
654
00:38:21,506 --> 00:38:25,820
- I'm going! I'm going! Okay!
- Drive!
655
00:38:26,959 --> 00:38:30,584
Shh. You're safe now. Shh.
656
00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:33,621
Ow.
657
00:38:33,725 --> 00:38:35,865
- Shh. You're safe now.
- No, I'm not. Not safe.
658
00:38:35,968 --> 00:38:37,729
Oh, no, am I bleeding?
659
00:38:37,832 --> 00:38:40,835
- I don't think that's yours.
- Oh, no, that's a lot of blood.
660
00:38:42,147 --> 00:38:43,976
Cheese and rice!
661
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:45,564
- Are those his brains?
- What?
662
00:38:45,668 --> 00:38:47,635
I think his brains are on my face!
663
00:38:47,739 --> 00:38:51,363
Definitely his brains are in my
mouth. I can taste his thoughts!
664
00:38:51,467 --> 00:38:52,675
Focus on the road.
665
00:38:52,778 --> 00:38:54,918
He just liked training people. Trainer.
666
00:38:55,022 --> 00:38:57,887
- What are you talking about?
- He loved me.
667
00:38:57,990 --> 00:39:00,579
Can you just scooch
the car over to the left?
668
00:39:00,683 --> 00:39:04,411
- Get it off. Get it off.
- Oh, God.
669
00:39:04,514 --> 00:39:05,791
Watch out!
670
00:39:10,002 --> 00:39:12,902
Oh! Oh! Oh!
671
00:39:15,145 --> 00:39:16,906
Oh, did you see...
672
00:39:19,874 --> 00:39:20,910
No.
673
00:39:26,329 --> 00:39:27,641
Oh.
674
00:39:29,090 --> 00:39:31,403
Oh, no. Oh, no.
675
00:39:31,955 --> 00:39:33,440
Oh, no.
676
00:39:41,862 --> 00:39:43,415
Oh, no.
677
00:39:44,105 --> 00:39:45,900
Alan?
678
00:39:46,004 --> 00:39:49,594
Oh, holy Christmas. Are
you okay? Are you okay?
679
00:39:49,697 --> 00:39:51,768
Do you think you could
get me out of here?
680
00:39:51,872 --> 00:39:53,425
Yeah. Okay.
681
00:39:53,529 --> 00:39:56,428
- You just flew out of the car.
- I did. I did, indeed.
682
00:39:56,532 --> 00:39:57,981
Okay. I got you. I got you.
683
00:39:58,085 --> 00:40:00,536
Can you get me out of the
chair? Get me out of the chair.
684
00:40:00,639 --> 00:40:02,469
You're right. You're
right. You're right.
685
00:40:03,815 --> 00:40:05,644
- Is that... Is that a nail filer?
- Yeah.
686
00:40:05,748 --> 00:40:07,232
- Can you just rip it?
- It's working.
687
00:40:07,335 --> 00:40:09,130
And maybe next time
I toss a gun at you,
688
00:40:09,234 --> 00:40:11,132
you can catch it instead of ducking.
689
00:40:11,236 --> 00:40:14,446
How about the next time you toss a
gun at me, you say, "Hey, Alan, catch"?
690
00:40:14,550 --> 00:40:16,414
Then maybe do that before you throw it?
691
00:40:16,517 --> 00:40:18,623
Well, "here" is a synonym for "catch."
692
00:40:18,726 --> 00:40:20,245
No, "here" is not a
cinnamon for "catch."
693
00:40:20,348 --> 00:40:22,420
In a colloquial kind
of way, yes, it is.
694
00:40:22,523 --> 00:40:24,629
You say, "Here," I
toss you a sweatshirt.
695
00:40:24,732 --> 00:40:26,734
You say, "Here," I toss you a pen.
696
00:40:26,838 --> 00:40:29,910
How 'bout just, "Hey! Catch! Gun!"
697
00:40:30,013 --> 00:40:33,016
Anything that you want to throw, I'll
catch it because you said, "Catch."
698
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:34,880
And I'll catch it because you said it.
699
00:40:34,984 --> 00:40:37,400
That is also an option, and
then we would have a gun with us.
700
00:40:37,504 --> 00:40:38,608
That's a thing.
701
00:40:38,712 --> 00:40:40,990
- Be careful.
- Okay, we need to call...
702
00:40:41,093 --> 00:40:42,750
Be careful.
703
00:40:42,854 --> 00:40:45,373
We need to call for help, get to
the airport and get out of here.
704
00:40:45,477 --> 00:40:47,479
And I am driving.Okay.
705
00:40:49,688 --> 00:40:52,553
Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
706
00:41:02,287 --> 00:41:04,669
Okay, call for... call for help.
707
00:41:04,772 --> 00:41:06,567
Where's your phone?
708
00:41:09,950 --> 00:41:10,985
Okay.
709
00:41:14,610 --> 00:41:17,440
- Tell me you caught them.
- I tagged the blond one.
710
00:41:19,097 --> 00:41:21,927
Oh, Loretta.
711
00:41:22,031 --> 00:41:24,102
What are you thinking?
712
00:41:24,205 --> 00:41:27,312
You might've killed one of them,
but his partner's still with her.
713
00:41:27,415 --> 00:41:31,074
And he is clearly
skilled, highly trained
714
00:41:32,075 --> 00:41:33,732
and very dangerous.
715
00:41:43,535 --> 00:41:47,608
So, Miss Sage said she
was gonna leave the event,
716
00:41:47,712 --> 00:41:52,371
then got in a car and left the event?
717
00:41:52,475 --> 00:41:55,167
- Did you try calling her?
- She doesn't have her phone.
718
00:41:55,271 --> 00:41:56,686
- Stolen phone.
- Didn't say that.
719
00:41:56,790 --> 00:41:58,550
Where's my magnifier?
720
00:41:58,654 --> 00:42:00,656
Listen, can you please help with Nana?
721
00:42:00,759 --> 00:42:03,141
I don't want her hearing about
Loretta 'cause it's going to upset her.
722
00:42:03,244 --> 00:42:06,316
- What about Loretta?
- Nothing, Nana. She just went on a trip.
723
00:42:06,420 --> 00:42:07,697
Good. Yeah.
724
00:42:07,801 --> 00:42:10,251
That girl needed to
get out of the house.
725
00:42:10,355 --> 00:42:14,532
So, this is the thing. Loretta's
phone is not stolen. I took it.
726
00:42:14,635 --> 00:42:19,088
I gave it to Alan. Alan then gave
it to the trainer, uh, Jack Trainer.
727
00:42:19,191 --> 00:42:21,469
And that is how we found her wearable.
728
00:42:21,573 --> 00:42:23,264
- And who's Alan?
- Dash.
729
00:42:23,368 --> 00:42:26,198
- What's that?
- He's the hero in all of her books.
730
00:42:26,302 --> 00:42:29,339
- Nana. Hey, slut.
- Mm-mmm.
731
00:42:29,443 --> 00:42:32,377
Let's go in the other room and talk
about whichever war you lived through.
732
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:35,622
Okay. Come on, it'll be
fun. I'm sorry. It'll be fun.
733
00:42:35,725 --> 00:42:37,658
Listen, Loretta Sage is missing.
734
00:42:37,762 --> 00:42:39,971
When I looked at her smartwatch,
it said that she had flown
735
00:42:40,074 --> 00:42:41,731
to some island I've
never even heard about.
736
00:42:41,835 --> 00:42:43,561
That means y'all need to
do something about this.
737
00:42:43,664 --> 00:42:46,046
And if you can't, I will, and
that won't look good for you.
738
00:42:46,149 --> 00:42:48,876
Pretty sure that's
outside our jurisdiction.
739
00:42:48,980 --> 00:42:52,017
- You'd have to call the Feds.
- Okay.
740
00:42:52,121 --> 00:42:54,502
And if you do go to the Feds,
put in a good word for me.
741
00:42:54,606 --> 00:42:56,988
- For me.
- For us.
742
00:43:02,614 --> 00:43:04,133
Oh, oh.
743
00:43:11,174 --> 00:43:13,418
What are you gonna do,
put the car back together?
744
00:43:13,521 --> 00:43:15,731
Well... we could...
745
00:43:31,643 --> 00:43:34,335
- Where did you say the phone was?
- Passenger glove.
746
00:43:34,439 --> 00:43:36,199
- What?
- Passenger glove compartment.
747
00:43:36,303 --> 00:43:37,545
Goodness.
748
00:43:38,650 --> 00:43:40,169
Oh, my God.
749
00:43:40,272 --> 00:43:42,516
Oh, my God. No phone, no
car. We're so gonna die out...
750
00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:44,345
- Here.
- What is this?
751
00:43:44,449 --> 00:43:46,106
Boots for the jungle.
752
00:43:46,969 --> 00:43:48,798
It's not exactly hiking boots, but...
753
00:43:48,902 --> 00:43:51,559
I figured your feet would be killing
you after wearing heels for this long.
754
00:43:51,663 --> 00:43:54,010
It was the best we could
do. They're Allison's. Sorry.
755
00:43:54,804 --> 00:43:56,875
Oh. Okay, well, thank you.
756
00:43:56,979 --> 00:43:58,774
Here, oh, I got you cheese.
757
00:43:58,877 --> 00:44:00,672
- Oh, my God.
- You got to stay hydrated.
758
00:44:00,776 --> 00:44:02,743
- Thank you so much.
- They didn't have glass bottles,
759
00:44:02,847 --> 00:44:04,849
so we'll definitely hold
onto it and recycle.
760
00:44:07,437 --> 00:44:12,132
Okay, so what we need to do is find a
phone, we need to call the authorities,
761
00:44:12,235 --> 00:44:15,135
and we need to wait here until
somebody comes and rescues us.
762
00:44:15,238 --> 00:44:18,759
Uh... This... This is the rescue.
763
00:44:18,863 --> 00:44:20,140
No one else is coming.
764
00:44:20,243 --> 00:44:22,211
- I'm sorry?
- I'm the rescue.
765
00:44:22,314 --> 00:44:25,248
It was originally just gonna be me,
then I was like, Trainer should come.
766
00:44:25,352 --> 00:44:27,078
Oh, Trainer. Rest in peace.
767
00:44:27,181 --> 00:44:31,427
So, our best bet is to get to the
airport. See this road right here?
768
00:44:31,530 --> 00:44:34,223
From this area, just take a shortcut
through the jungle to the road.
769
00:44:34,326 --> 00:44:36,225
Did you just say "shortcut
through the jungle"?
770
00:44:36,328 --> 00:44:37,847
- Yeah.
- Okay, do you see us?
771
00:44:37,951 --> 00:44:40,470
- Uh-huh.
- You are not Dash, and I'm not Lovemore. Okay?
772
00:44:40,574 --> 00:44:41,989
I'm Loretta, and you are Alan.
773
00:44:42,093 --> 00:44:44,405
- And jungles eat people like us, okay?
- Eat people.
774
00:44:44,509 --> 00:44:47,823
And I don't want to mess up the jumpsuit.
It's on loan. So we're gonna stay put.
775
00:44:47,926 --> 00:44:49,859
We're not just gonna
stand around here, okay?
776
00:44:49,963 --> 00:44:51,343
We're gonna go through the jungle,
777
00:44:51,447 --> 00:44:53,552
we're gonna go to the
airport and find a phone,
778
00:44:53,656 --> 00:44:55,751
so you can have your cake
and get what you want.
779
00:44:55,775 --> 00:44:56,659
"And eat it too"?
780
00:44:56,763 --> 00:44:59,213
If that's what you want to do
with your cake, fine. Let's go.
781
00:44:59,317 --> 00:45:01,250
- That's the only thing you do with cake.
- Not mine.
782
00:45:01,353 --> 00:45:03,804
I don't know what your people
do, but my people eat it.
783
00:45:03,908 --> 00:45:06,117
You could give it to someone as a gift.
784
00:45:06,220 --> 00:45:08,429
Those people are still
going to eat the cake.
785
00:45:08,533 --> 00:45:10,086
Everybody eats cake.
786
00:45:10,190 --> 00:45:12,019
What about the kind people jump out of?
787
00:45:12,123 --> 00:45:15,057
- They don't eat it, when they're in it.
- Oh, my God.
788
00:45:41,359 --> 00:45:42,947
What did they kidnap you for anyhow?
789
00:45:43,050 --> 00:45:44,914
Is it some weird sex stuff like Taken?
790
00:45:45,018 --> 00:45:46,571
Oh, my God, thank you.
791
00:45:46,674 --> 00:45:49,401
I thought so too, but the
guy's one of the Fairfaxes.
792
00:45:49,505 --> 00:45:51,334
- Beverly?
- No, the older one.
793
00:45:51,438 --> 00:45:54,890
The really odd one that had the
vlog on finding Montezuma's treasure.
794
00:45:54,993 --> 00:45:57,409
The dude that was on the news
for trying to raise the Titanic?
795
00:45:57,513 --> 00:45:59,308
Yes, he's looking
for the Crown of Fire.
796
00:45:59,411 --> 00:46:03,381
Wait a minute. Like the actual
Crown of Fire? Like the one...
797
00:46:03,484 --> 00:46:06,833
- So those ruins were...
- They were the Lost City of D, yes.
798
00:46:06,936 --> 00:46:09,249
- What? Are you kidding me right now?
- Shh.
799
00:46:09,352 --> 00:46:10,802
This is like your book.
800
00:46:10,906 --> 00:46:13,736
So we're basically on a Lovemore
and Dash adventure right now?
801
00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:15,842
What is that?
802
00:46:15,945 --> 00:46:18,430
What if Fairfax
actually finds the crown?
803
00:46:18,534 --> 00:46:19,915
He won't. He won't.
804
00:46:22,089 --> 00:46:23,194
- Where do we go?
- Uh...
805
00:46:23,297 --> 00:46:25,265
Oh, oh, oh.
806
00:46:28,337 --> 00:46:30,477
Okay, uh, we need to get in the water.
807
00:46:30,580 --> 00:46:32,686
- W-What?
- We need to go by river.
808
00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:34,619
No, no, I don't really do water.
809
00:46:34,722 --> 00:46:37,070
What do you mean, "do water"? I'm
not asking you to procreate with it.
810
00:46:37,173 --> 00:46:39,624
Uh, my body and water
don't really go together.
811
00:46:39,727 --> 00:46:42,075
How do you feel about dying? Oh, God.
812
00:46:42,178 --> 00:46:44,042
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're okay. You're okay.
813
00:46:44,146 --> 00:46:46,976
- I got you. Fine.
- I can swim. I can swim. Thank you very much.
814
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:49,151
- Where are you going?
- I'm crossing.
815
00:46:49,254 --> 00:46:51,222
No, we have to stay in the water.
816
00:46:51,325 --> 00:46:53,776
I researched aquatic counter-tracking
for my book, A Year in the Bush.
817
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:55,882
They'll lose our tracks in the water.
818
00:46:55,985 --> 00:46:58,781
Why is it warm here?
Wait, are you peeing?
819
00:46:58,885 --> 00:47:00,887
Just go around it.
820
00:47:29,674 --> 00:47:31,193
Okay, I think...
821
00:47:31,296 --> 00:47:33,195
I think we lost them, right?
822
00:47:33,298 --> 00:47:36,301
Yeah. That wasn't so bad. Yeah.
823
00:47:36,405 --> 00:47:38,062
Okay, uh...
824
00:47:38,165 --> 00:47:40,581
- Don't panic.
- What do you mean, don't panic?
825
00:47:40,685 --> 00:47:41,893
- Just don't panic.
- No.
826
00:47:41,997 --> 00:47:43,757
Stop saying "panic." I'm panicking now.
827
00:47:43,861 --> 00:47:45,724
You have something on your back.
828
00:47:47,243 --> 00:47:48,037
No!
829
00:47:48,141 --> 00:47:49,625
- Stop screaming.
- What is that?
830
00:47:49,728 --> 00:47:50,971
- What is that?
- Stop screaming.
831
00:47:51,075 --> 00:47:52,524
- Do you have any on you?
- No. No.
832
00:47:52,628 --> 00:47:54,078
Why don't you have any on you?
833
00:47:54,181 --> 00:47:55,976
Maybe the jumpsuit scared
them off. I don't know.
834
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:57,598
- Get 'em off.
- Oh, my God.
835
00:47:57,702 --> 00:48:00,222
Okay. No, I can't touch those
blood-gorged mucous sacks.
836
00:48:00,325 --> 00:48:01,775
- Can you fling it?
- Right now.
837
00:48:01,879 --> 00:48:03,259
- Get it.
- Just pick it and fling it.
838
00:48:03,363 --> 00:48:05,261
- Just pick it and fling it.
- You pick it and fling it!
839
00:48:05,365 --> 00:48:07,436
- Can you spin it off?
- Please, get it off.
840
00:48:07,539 --> 00:48:09,576
I don't like touching
it. I'm feeling faint.
841
00:48:09,679 --> 00:48:12,786
- They're sucking my soul out.
- Okay, okay. Stop, stop, stop.
842
00:48:14,443 --> 00:48:16,686
Don't make that sound.
843
00:48:20,276 --> 00:48:21,760
How many of them are there?
844
00:48:21,864 --> 00:48:23,383
Oh, there's not many.
845
00:48:23,486 --> 00:48:25,488
- It feels like there's so many.
- What are you...
846
00:48:25,592 --> 00:48:26,904
- I feel so many.
- Oh!
847
00:48:27,007 --> 00:48:29,561
- Holy mother of God!
- Why are you praying?
848
00:48:29,665 --> 00:48:32,702
Is it that bad? It can't be that
bad. Is it that bad? How many?
849
00:48:32,806 --> 00:48:34,049
It's not great.
850
00:48:34,152 --> 00:48:35,809
They're gonna suck every bit of me out.
851
00:48:35,913 --> 00:48:38,570
Just please stop speaking. I
just need to... need to get low.
852
00:48:38,674 --> 00:48:40,400
Hold on a second.
853
00:48:40,503 --> 00:48:43,299
Oh, God! I can feel them just...
they're just sucking out so much.
854
00:48:43,403 --> 00:48:46,268
I'm gonna be like a shriveled-up
skin sack when they're done.
855
00:48:46,371 --> 00:48:48,339
You cannot tell my dad
I died this way, okay?
856
00:48:48,442 --> 00:48:52,481
You gotta tell him I was wrestling an
anaconda with a sword or something.
857
00:48:52,584 --> 00:48:55,380
I'm like a blood Jamba Juice.
They're just sucking it all out.
858
00:48:55,484 --> 00:48:57,106
Why are they all on my butt though?
859
00:48:57,210 --> 00:48:59,833
Kind of like picking anchovies
off my Caesar salad.
860
00:48:59,937 --> 00:49:01,662
- It's actually not so bad.
- Anchovies?
861
00:49:01,766 --> 00:49:03,354
Why do you go to food right now?
862
00:49:03,457 --> 00:49:06,322
Just find the queen, and
let's be done with this.
863
00:49:06,426 --> 00:49:08,773
Think you're good. I need
to just check your front.
864
00:49:08,876 --> 00:49:11,120
Okay. I can't look.
865
00:49:13,364 --> 00:49:14,675
Is it bad?
866
00:49:14,779 --> 00:49:17,885
- Uh, wow.
- What is it? Just say it.
867
00:49:17,989 --> 00:49:21,337
I mean, you expect
it to, you know, not...
868
00:49:21,441 --> 00:49:24,168
Then suddenly there
it is, and it is, uh...
869
00:49:24,271 --> 00:49:26,515
- You know, you get excited for a person.
- What?
870
00:49:26,618 --> 00:49:29,242
- I mean, I'm excited for all people.
- Why are you excited?
871
00:49:29,345 --> 00:49:31,658
Well, you know, people
wonder, they wonder,
872
00:49:31,761 --> 00:49:33,384
but they don't know, right?
873
00:49:33,487 --> 00:49:35,973
They don't, until
suddenly they do know,
874
00:49:36,076 --> 00:49:40,391
and then they... they know
something that wasn't known before.
875
00:49:40,494 --> 00:49:42,358
Just... Do I have any leeches or not?
876
00:49:42,462 --> 00:49:46,569
Oh, your plucky warrior
hangs in tranquil solitude.
877
00:49:46,673 --> 00:49:47,777
What?
878
00:49:47,881 --> 00:49:50,021
No, you're good. You're good.
879
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:52,886
We were so brave just then.
880
00:49:52,990 --> 00:49:55,233
Why do they go for the butt so much?
881
00:50:16,530 --> 00:50:19,395
What's that song you're singing?
882
00:50:19,499 --> 00:50:22,502
A song my abbi used to
sing to me when I was a kid.
883
00:50:23,468 --> 00:50:26,126
"If you suck life from the island...
884
00:50:26,230 --> 00:50:29,026
...the island will suck of you."
885
00:50:29,129 --> 00:50:33,064
Your grandma sang you songs about
getting sucked off by an island?
886
00:50:33,168 --> 00:50:35,515
It doesn't translate super well.
887
00:50:36,412 --> 00:50:39,243
Is phantom leech
syndrome, like, a thing?
888
00:50:39,346 --> 00:50:41,348
They don't lay eggs, do they?
889
00:51:30,466 --> 00:51:31,674
Queen Taha?
890
00:51:45,274 --> 00:51:49,658
"King Kalaman and his
treasure laid to rest..."
891
00:51:50,590 --> 00:51:54,249
laid to rest in the
well of endless tears.
892
00:51:54,352 --> 00:51:56,285
"Laid to rest in the
well of endless tears."
893
00:51:56,389 --> 00:51:58,253
- What does that mean?
- Loretta!
894
00:51:58,943 --> 00:52:00,669
You gave me a heart attack.
895
00:52:01,359 --> 00:52:03,016
Where'd you go?
896
00:52:07,089 --> 00:52:08,642
What is this?
897
00:52:08,746 --> 00:52:11,990
I'm not sure, but maybe
they gathered here?
898
00:52:14,545 --> 00:52:17,203
Can you imagine being right here,
899
00:52:17,306 --> 00:52:19,964
right in this very spot back then?
900
00:52:20,067 --> 00:52:21,793
The stories that they told?
901
00:52:21,897 --> 00:52:24,658
So much history I'm
sure happened right here.
902
00:52:29,974 --> 00:52:31,355
They've got us cornered.
903
00:52:31,458 --> 00:52:33,150
- Okay. We've got to go up. Come on.
- What?
904
00:52:33,253 --> 00:52:36,360
Have you seen what I'm wearing?
I'm in a glitter straitjacket.
905
00:52:36,463 --> 00:52:39,432
There's nowhere to go
but up. Come on. Let's go.
906
00:52:39,535 --> 00:52:43,090
Oh! I should not be doing
this. I'm too old for this.
907
00:52:43,194 --> 00:52:44,299
No, you're not. You're beautiful.
908
00:52:44,402 --> 00:52:46,059
I didn't say I'm not beautiful.
909
00:52:46,163 --> 00:52:48,061
I said I'm too old to be doing this.
910
00:52:48,165 --> 00:52:51,789
My skill is sitting and thinking
and eating when I can't think.
911
00:52:51,892 --> 00:52:54,309
Yeah, you definitely could be
wearing better shoes for this.
912
00:52:54,412 --> 00:52:56,311
You brought me these shoes.
913
00:52:56,414 --> 00:52:58,968
I can't go any further.
I can't go any further.
914
00:52:59,072 --> 00:53:00,798
I'm not doing so great here.
915
00:53:00,901 --> 00:53:02,317
You got it. Come on.
916
00:53:02,420 --> 00:53:04,284
I know you think that
you're safer holding on,
917
00:53:04,388 --> 00:53:05,665
but you have to keep going.
918
00:53:05,768 --> 00:53:07,667
- I can't. I can't, I can't.
- Okay?
919
00:53:08,461 --> 00:53:09,910
- Do you smell that?
- Smell what?
920
00:53:10,014 --> 00:53:11,774
- I smell something.
- Is it a predator? What is it?
921
00:53:11,878 --> 00:53:13,811
- A downward cascading fire?
- You got to smell deeper.
922
00:53:13,914 --> 00:53:15,088
I don't smell anything!
923
00:53:18,505 --> 00:53:21,750
Take a big, deep breath.
924
00:53:21,853 --> 00:53:23,165
All right.
925
00:53:23,269 --> 00:53:24,891
Good job.Okay.
926
00:53:24,994 --> 00:53:28,619
- That was manipulative. Thank you.
- Yeah, it was.
927
00:53:28,722 --> 00:53:31,208
Here we go. I'm gonna help
you out a little bit, all right?
928
00:53:31,311 --> 00:53:33,382
- One, two, three... Here we go!
- What are you doing?
929
00:53:33,486 --> 00:53:34,866
- Get out of there.
- Come on.
930
00:53:34,970 --> 00:53:37,041
- No, no, don't flex.
- That's my hoo-hoo.
931
00:53:37,144 --> 00:53:40,078
Just ride the head. Keep the
hands moving and ride the head.
932
00:53:40,182 --> 00:53:41,494
- Oh, God.
- You're doing great.
933
00:53:41,597 --> 00:53:44,255
Sorry about the scratchy
haircut. Come on.
934
00:54:04,344 --> 00:54:06,588
Dulcius ex asperis.
935
00:54:07,174 --> 00:54:08,555
What was that?
936
00:54:08,659 --> 00:54:10,177
Oh, nothing.
937
00:54:10,281 --> 00:54:12,525
It was just something
that John and I would say
938
00:54:12,628 --> 00:54:15,769
after we finished
something big, like a...
939
00:54:15,873 --> 00:54:17,840
like an archaeological
dig or a manuscript.
940
00:54:17,944 --> 00:54:21,258
It's Latin. It means
"sweeter after difficulty."
941
00:54:22,397 --> 00:54:23,777
What's...
942
00:54:23,881 --> 00:54:25,814
What's Latin for "Loretta's a badass"?
943
00:54:25,917 --> 00:54:30,405
I am a badass. I climbed a mountain.
944
00:54:30,508 --> 00:54:33,477
Oh, my God. I wish Beth
could've seen us do this.
945
00:54:33,580 --> 00:54:36,411
- Oh, God. Beth.
- Don't worry about Beth.
946
00:54:36,514 --> 00:54:40,000
She's probably got the whole
navy after us right now.
947
00:54:40,104 --> 00:54:43,176
I get that you think you have to
go to the island authorities yourself,
948
00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:46,697
but don't worry, I'm keeping
Loretta's socials super active.
949
00:54:46,800 --> 00:54:49,182
Just tweeted, "Did I
just get kidnapped?
950
00:54:49,286 --> 00:54:52,806
FML, @ShawnMendes, ShawnMendes."
951
00:54:52,910 --> 00:54:54,567
And you're traveling alone?
952
00:54:54,670 --> 00:54:57,501
Yes, I'm traveling alone.
Mm-hmm. I'm single.
953
00:54:58,087 --> 00:54:59,296
Then this might work.
954
00:54:59,399 --> 00:55:01,228
- Okay! Talk to me.
- You'll hit New York.
955
00:55:01,332 --> 00:55:04,853
From there, you'll fly to Guinea, where
you can pick up a puddle jumper.
956
00:55:04,956 --> 00:55:06,026
A what?
957
00:55:06,958 --> 00:55:08,443
- Small plane.
- Yeah, no leg room.
958
00:55:08,546 --> 00:55:09,720
That's fine. I'll take it.
959
00:55:09,823 --> 00:55:11,860
- Or you could just come home.
- Thank you.
960
00:55:19,730 --> 00:55:22,215
We need something more flammable.
Everything is just so wet.
961
00:55:22,319 --> 00:55:23,837
What's in here? What's in your bag?
962
00:55:23,941 --> 00:55:25,805
- Uh...
- Oh, a lot. Okay.
963
00:55:25,908 --> 00:55:27,358
What are you doing?
964
00:55:27,462 --> 00:55:29,326
Okay. Face masks.
965
00:55:29,429 --> 00:55:30,844
Yeah, that was like
a gift-basket thing.
966
00:55:30,948 --> 00:55:32,915
You brought a scented
candle into the jungle?
967
00:55:33,019 --> 00:55:34,296
My mom gave me that.
968
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:35,953
It was like a weird
gift for Mother's Day.
969
00:55:36,056 --> 00:55:38,335
Your mom gives you
gifts for Mother's Day?
970
00:55:39,646 --> 00:55:40,440
Noir...
971
00:55:40,544 --> 00:55:42,511
Eucalyptus rosemary oil. Ooh.
972
00:55:43,098 --> 00:55:44,375
Oh, that smells good.
973
00:55:44,479 --> 00:55:46,653
Um... Oh, okay. All right.
974
00:55:46,757 --> 00:55:48,379
Whoo! Yes!
975
00:55:48,483 --> 00:55:50,933
Yes, I made fire!
976
00:55:51,037 --> 00:55:54,592
- That's pretty impressive. You have to...
- It is a beautiful fire.
977
00:55:54,696 --> 00:55:56,629
Who would have thought?
978
00:55:56,732 --> 00:55:59,217
Oh, you're just, um,
taking your shirt off?
979
00:56:00,322 --> 00:56:02,359
That looks really uncomfortable.
980
00:56:02,462 --> 00:56:04,361
Are you okay? The back?
981
00:56:04,464 --> 00:56:08,537
Yeah. That is why I don't do water.
982
00:56:08,641 --> 00:56:10,919
- Okay.
- My body becomes an eighth-grader's face.
983
00:56:11,022 --> 00:56:13,887
Do you have anything for it?
Like some ointment or something?
984
00:56:13,991 --> 00:56:15,889
Yeah, I do. Well, I did.
985
00:56:15,993 --> 00:56:18,064
It was in a little, tiny little bottle.
986
00:56:18,167 --> 00:56:20,135
It was this. I'm sorry.
987
00:56:20,238 --> 00:56:22,275
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
988
00:56:22,379 --> 00:56:23,725
It's okay.
989
00:56:23,828 --> 00:56:26,141
- Hold on. Yes. Come here. Come here.
- What?
990
00:56:26,244 --> 00:56:28,661
- Come here. Sit down.
- Let me see.
991
00:56:28,764 --> 00:56:30,248
- Just sit down.
- Right here?
992
00:56:30,352 --> 00:56:31,560
Yeah.
993
00:56:32,768 --> 00:56:34,391
Okay.
994
00:56:34,494 --> 00:56:36,358
Oh, no, you don't have to
touch it. It's okay. It's fine.
995
00:56:36,462 --> 00:56:38,464
I touched your engorged sacks, so...
996
00:56:40,673 --> 00:56:42,399
- The leeches.
- Oh, okay.
997
00:56:42,502 --> 00:56:45,298
Okay, this might be a little bit cold.
998
00:56:46,472 --> 00:56:48,197
- Sorry.
- Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
999
00:56:48,301 --> 00:56:49,578
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
1000
00:56:49,682 --> 00:56:51,649
Maybe this is how Dash should die.
1001
00:56:51,753 --> 00:56:54,790
Horrible eczema
outbreak. That's so sexy.
1002
00:56:54,894 --> 00:56:56,413
I could make it work.
1003
00:56:56,861 --> 00:56:57,897
Yeah?
1004
00:56:58,553 --> 00:57:00,002
All right, then.
1005
00:57:01,279 --> 00:57:03,005
How would you write this?
1006
00:57:03,109 --> 00:57:04,593
Okay.
1007
00:57:06,492 --> 00:57:09,805
"Warmed by the fragrant fire..."
1008
00:57:09,909 --> 00:57:12,359
Mm-hmm.
1009
00:57:12,463 --> 00:57:14,361
Starting strong.Mm-hmm.
1010
00:57:14,465 --> 00:57:17,572
"Lovemore's hands explored the..."
1011
00:57:19,332 --> 00:57:21,817
The contoured scenery
1012
00:57:21,921 --> 00:57:23,509
of Dash's body.
1013
00:57:25,649 --> 00:57:28,341
Familiar terrain made
1014
00:57:28,445 --> 00:57:30,792
new and exciting with every...
1015
00:57:31,724 --> 00:57:34,071
"with every scarlet rim."
1016
00:57:35,175 --> 00:57:36,867
And that didn't, uh...
1017
00:57:37,695 --> 00:57:39,214
didn't turn her off?
1018
00:57:39,317 --> 00:57:40,526
No.
1019
00:57:41,354 --> 00:57:43,183
"Because with every cardinal ridge,
1020
00:57:44,184 --> 00:57:46,601
Lovemore discovered
another letter in the language
1021
00:57:46,704 --> 00:57:48,810
"that only their bodies spoke."
1022
00:57:49,845 --> 00:57:51,882
And what were their bodies saying?
1023
00:57:53,849 --> 00:57:55,402
"Take me..."
1024
00:57:57,301 --> 00:57:58,923
Take me,
1025
00:57:59,510 --> 00:58:01,201
"take me."
1026
00:58:01,305 --> 00:58:02,617
How's that?
1027
00:58:03,445 --> 00:58:04,722
It was good.
1028
00:58:04,826 --> 00:58:06,552
- Your back. I mean, how is your back?
- Good.
1029
00:58:06,655 --> 00:58:08,070
- Okay. You sure?
- Yeah.
1030
00:58:08,174 --> 00:58:12,730
- I also meant my back. Right there, yeah.
- Okay.
1031
00:58:20,980 --> 00:58:22,015
Supplies.
1032
00:58:24,155 --> 00:58:28,435
Okay, I'm chilly. I think I'm gonna
probably turn in in a little bit.
1033
00:58:28,539 --> 00:58:29,747
- Okay.
- You good?
1034
00:58:29,851 --> 00:58:32,509
Yeah, I'm fire... fine. I'm fine.
1035
00:58:32,612 --> 00:58:35,546
I'm not "fire." I'm fine by the fire.
1036
00:58:36,236 --> 00:58:37,962
Okay. All right.
1037
00:58:45,867 --> 00:58:49,180
Uh, it's up to you, but if you're cold,
1038
00:58:49,284 --> 00:58:53,495
maybe we could probably both
fit in here, if you wanted to.
1039
00:58:54,151 --> 00:58:55,877
Both of us?
1040
00:58:55,980 --> 00:58:59,018
- Only if you want to. I mean, it's just...
- Yeah, no, that sounds...
1041
00:58:59,121 --> 00:59:00,606
Uh...
1042
00:59:00,709 --> 00:59:02,090
Okay. How do you...
1043
00:59:02,193 --> 00:59:04,161
You can go first,
then I'll figure it out.
1044
00:59:04,264 --> 00:59:07,405
No, no, you go. It's definitely
a "ladies first" type of situation.
1045
00:59:07,509 --> 00:59:10,167
- Keep hands out of the bag at all times.
- That's what I was gonna do.
1046
00:59:10,270 --> 00:59:11,927
- Butt to butt.
- Hands out and butt to butt.
1047
00:59:12,031 --> 00:59:15,344
- Yeah. What do I do?
- Just get in. Go ahead and sit.
1048
00:59:15,448 --> 00:59:18,140
I sit first? Okay. I'm in.
1049
00:59:19,694 --> 00:59:22,282
You're too heavy. You're gonna
flip this thing like a cruise ship.
1050
00:59:22,386 --> 00:59:25,044
You watch yourself.
Hold on. I'm not in.
1051
00:59:25,147 --> 00:59:28,323
Why is this engaging my core so much?
1052
00:59:29,117 --> 00:59:31,015
How 'bout you shimmy?
1053
00:59:31,119 --> 00:59:33,224
- I can't breathe. I'm not breathing.
- Are you good?
1054
00:59:33,328 --> 00:59:34,640
My face.
1055
00:59:35,226 --> 00:59:36,469
Yeah. Okay.
1056
00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:41,060
Hands are out. Butt to butt.
1057
00:59:41,163 --> 00:59:42,199
Okay.
1058
01:00:13,402 --> 01:00:14,990
Well!
1059
01:00:15,094 --> 01:00:16,233
Come on.
1060
01:00:16,336 --> 01:00:17,993
Come on! Let's hear it!
1061
01:00:18,097 --> 01:00:21,583
Let's give a nice round
of applause to Loretta!
1062
01:00:21,687 --> 01:00:23,309
She earned it.
1063
01:00:23,412 --> 01:00:27,278
A geriatric shut-in left you
holding your dicks in the jungle.
1064
01:00:27,382 --> 01:00:28,763
Good job, Loretta.
1065
01:00:28,866 --> 01:00:31,386
Boss, come on. People are dying now.
1066
01:00:31,489 --> 01:00:35,148
Don't you think that maybe
this has all gone too far?
1067
01:00:36,391 --> 01:00:38,117
Is it really worth it?
1068
01:00:38,220 --> 01:00:41,603
I am on the cusp of
attaining the unattainable.
1069
01:00:41,707 --> 01:00:44,710
Something singular,
something no nation,
1070
01:00:44,813 --> 01:00:48,403
no emperor, no brownnosing
brothers ever have.
1071
01:00:48,506 --> 01:00:51,613
The legendary Crown of Fire.
1072
01:00:52,062 --> 01:00:53,201
So, yes.
1073
01:00:53,304 --> 01:00:55,617
Yes, I would definitely
say it's worth it.
1074
01:01:05,351 --> 01:01:06,870
Excuse me!
1075
01:01:06,973 --> 01:01:09,873
Excuse me, sir. I need to get
to my next connecting flight.
1076
01:01:09,976 --> 01:01:11,322
No flight.
1077
01:01:11,426 --> 01:01:14,015
The pilot is sick. Come tomorrow.
1078
01:01:14,118 --> 01:01:16,258
No, no, sir. I cannot come
tomorrow. I need to do this today.
1079
01:01:16,362 --> 01:01:21,091
I need to get to the island Isla
Hundida tonight. Lives are at stake.
1080
01:01:21,194 --> 01:01:22,679
Come tomorrow.
1081
01:01:26,510 --> 01:01:28,201
- Excuse me, miss?
- Yes?
1082
01:01:28,305 --> 01:01:32,378
I couldn't help but overhear
you say that you like steak.
1083
01:01:32,481 --> 01:01:35,761
Okay, this is a little bit crazy,
1084
01:01:35,864 --> 01:01:37,659
but I also like steak.
1085
01:01:37,763 --> 01:01:40,110
- What?
- I also like steak.
1086
01:01:40,213 --> 01:01:43,665
Would you like to,
maybe, I don't know...
1087
01:01:43,769 --> 01:01:46,599
- Maybe there's a...
- No. "Lives are at stake."
1088
01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:48,463
I need to go to the island tonight.
1089
01:01:48,566 --> 01:01:49,982
- Ah.
- Yes.
1090
01:01:50,085 --> 01:01:51,673
- Even more serious.
- Extremely.
1091
01:01:51,777 --> 01:01:54,780
Well, I believe that I
may be able to assist you.
1092
01:01:54,883 --> 01:01:56,816
I have a cargo plane.
1093
01:01:57,990 --> 01:02:01,683
Maybe after I make my delivery,
we could swing by your island.
1094
01:02:01,787 --> 01:02:04,582
I'm about to ask you something,
and you better tell me the truth.
1095
01:02:04,686 --> 01:02:06,550
Have you ever murdered anyone before?
1096
01:02:06,653 --> 01:02:09,898
No!
1097
01:02:13,488 --> 01:02:16,215
I don't know if I really buy it,
but let me tell you something.
1098
01:02:16,318 --> 01:02:20,564
If you ever think about murdering
me, I promise, I will murder you first.
1099
01:02:20,667 --> 01:02:22,014
My pleasure.
1100
01:02:22,117 --> 01:02:24,257
You are weird. Let's go.
1101
01:03:19,657 --> 01:03:23,075
"King Kalaman and his
treasure laid to rest in the well
1102
01:03:23,730 --> 01:03:25,146
of endless tears."
1103
01:03:26,837 --> 01:03:28,011
What is that?
1104
01:03:29,184 --> 01:03:32,636
Oh, it's a... it's a thing.
I mean, it's not, uh...
1105
01:03:32,739 --> 01:03:34,983
You know, it's not
what you think it is.
1106
01:03:35,087 --> 01:03:38,884
So it's not Fairfax's fragment
of an ancient parchment?
1107
01:03:38,987 --> 01:03:42,784
Okay. It's what you think it is.
1108
01:03:42,888 --> 01:03:44,337
Loretta, I thought you
were smarter than that.
1109
01:03:44,441 --> 01:03:47,237
Fairfax is never gonna
stop hunting us now.
1110
01:03:47,340 --> 01:03:48,341
What were you thinking?
1111
01:03:48,445 --> 01:03:50,412
We have a volcano
that could bury the tomb
1112
01:03:50,516 --> 01:03:54,071
before we get to it, before we see
it, before we preserve its memory.
1113
01:03:54,175 --> 01:03:56,108
- This is...
- I'm sorry. Is that what we're doing?
1114
01:03:56,211 --> 01:03:58,731
'Cause no one told me.
When were you gonna tell me?
1115
01:03:58,835 --> 01:04:00,250
Why would I tell you?
1116
01:04:00,353 --> 01:04:02,183
We're in this together. I
came here to rescue you.
1117
01:04:02,286 --> 01:04:03,978
You know you're not Dash, right?
1118
01:04:04,081 --> 01:04:06,325
You don't ride in on a
white horse to rescue people.
1119
01:04:06,428 --> 01:04:10,708
You... spray yourself with bronzer and
you stand in front of wind machines,
1120
01:04:10,812 --> 01:04:12,331
which is great for you.
1121
01:04:12,434 --> 01:04:15,092
How would you have any
idea what I'm actually like?
1122
01:04:15,196 --> 01:04:18,130
I know you. You're a
pretty open book, Alan.
1123
01:04:18,233 --> 01:04:20,028
- Okay, then who am I?
- Really?
1124
01:04:20,132 --> 01:04:21,167
Yeah.
1125
01:04:23,238 --> 01:04:25,447
O... Okay, uh...
1126
01:04:25,551 --> 01:04:28,657
You were a homecoming king and
you coasted on your good looks to LA,
1127
01:04:28,761 --> 01:04:31,281
but then realized that being the most
handsome kid in the middle of nowhere
1128
01:04:31,384 --> 01:04:33,110
doesn't mean you're going to be a star.
1129
01:04:33,214 --> 01:04:35,043
Until one day, when a woman
who couldn't publish her book
1130
01:04:35,147 --> 01:04:38,736
on Spanish colonization in the Atlantic
decided to write a romance novel,
1131
01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:40,773
uh, chose you at
random to be on the cover.
1132
01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:44,294
Lucky for you and her, the
novels were a smashing success.
1133
01:04:44,397 --> 01:04:47,400
She kept writing her
schlock, you kept posing,
1134
01:04:47,504 --> 01:04:52,958
um, you know, neither one of us
becoming who we'd hoped we would be.
1135
01:04:53,061 --> 01:04:57,169
Uh, and then one day,
we both die in the jungle
1136
01:04:57,272 --> 01:05:01,173
on one of those Atlantic islands
I wrote about all those years ago.
1137
01:05:01,276 --> 01:05:02,312
Right?
1138
01:05:03,658 --> 01:05:04,970
Mm-hmm.
1139
01:05:16,257 --> 01:05:17,983
It was Sarasota, by the way.
1140
01:05:18,500 --> 01:05:20,088
It's not nowhere.
1141
01:05:20,192 --> 01:05:22,435
I grew up there with
my mom and two sisters.
1142
01:05:22,539 --> 01:05:23,574
And yeah...
1143
01:05:24,575 --> 01:05:27,268
I started modeling 'cause
I wanted to get away.
1144
01:05:27,371 --> 01:05:29,304
It was the only job
that I could think of
1145
01:05:29,408 --> 01:05:32,652
that could take me to all of the
places that I always dreamed of going.
1146
01:05:32,756 --> 01:05:34,068
Then finally to Los Angeles,
1147
01:05:34,171 --> 01:05:36,933
where I posed on the cover
of your romance novel.
1148
01:05:37,036 --> 01:05:39,936
And I was so embarrassed that
one of my friends might've seen me
1149
01:05:40,039 --> 01:05:42,179
in that wig on the cover of your book
1150
01:05:42,283 --> 01:05:44,941
that I avoided talking
to them for months.
1151
01:05:45,907 --> 01:05:47,391
And then one day,
1152
01:05:48,116 --> 01:05:49,980
I'm walking home,
1153
01:05:50,084 --> 01:05:52,879
and I hear this lady yell, "Dash!"
1154
01:05:52,983 --> 01:05:55,503
She runs up, and she is so happy.
1155
01:05:55,606 --> 01:05:59,369
Then I thought, "How
could I be this embarrassed
1156
01:05:59,472 --> 01:06:02,165
about something that
makes people this happy?"
1157
01:06:05,513 --> 01:06:07,204
Loretta, you can do whatever you want.
1158
01:06:07,308 --> 01:06:09,413
If you don't want to
write anymore, don't write.
1159
01:06:09,517 --> 01:06:14,004
But don't minimize the people that
love your work by calling it schlock.
1160
01:06:14,108 --> 01:06:16,662
That's not fair to them.
1161
01:06:17,870 --> 01:06:20,769
You know what's ironic? I thought
you of all people would know
1162
01:06:20,873 --> 01:06:23,324
not to judge a book by its cover.
1163
01:06:27,397 --> 01:06:29,986
Judge a book by its cover model.
1164
01:07:01,465 --> 01:07:02,639
Alan?
1165
01:07:02,742 --> 01:07:04,020
Alan.
1166
01:07:15,997 --> 01:07:17,343
There's two of them.
1167
01:07:23,453 --> 01:07:26,145
- Loretta! I'm over here!
- Alan!
1168
01:07:27,215 --> 01:07:30,287
Alan! Motorcycles and
guns, motorcycles and guns!
1169
01:07:30,391 --> 01:07:32,531
Come on, this way!
1170
01:07:32,634 --> 01:07:34,257
Stop shooting!
1171
01:07:39,503 --> 01:07:41,471
- Just give 'em the parchment!
- I can't.
1172
01:07:41,574 --> 01:07:44,232
Yes, you can, actually. You just
say, "Here," and throw it at 'em.
1173
01:07:44,336 --> 01:07:46,648
Right. And then I'm sure
they'll happily let us go.
1174
01:07:46,752 --> 01:07:48,754
- Okay, keep down.
- How do they keep finding us?
1175
01:07:48,857 --> 01:07:51,343
- You're basically a walking disco ball.
- We need to come up with a plan.
1176
01:07:51,446 --> 01:07:52,516
I have an idea.
1177
01:07:52,620 --> 01:07:54,070
We're gonna dig a
hole, throw our voices.
1178
01:07:54,173 --> 01:07:56,106
"We're over here." Can
you sound like a bird?
1179
01:07:56,210 --> 01:07:58,522
- No, I have a plan.
- Alan, please, I'm thinking.
1180
01:07:58,626 --> 01:08:02,319
- I know, but I have a plan.
- Please, just let me think about...
1181
01:08:02,423 --> 01:08:06,047
- Wait a minute. They're shooting at you.
- Yeah, that's why we're hiding.
1182
01:08:06,151 --> 01:08:08,463
No. No, no, no. They're
shooting only at you.
1183
01:08:08,567 --> 01:08:11,087
They won't shoot me. It's
my brain that's valuable.
1184
01:08:11,190 --> 01:08:15,056
What? I don't think you actually
hear the things you say sometimes.
1185
01:08:15,160 --> 01:08:17,852
- Maybe I can shield you.
- You are not shielding me.
1186
01:08:17,955 --> 01:08:20,199
- I should be shielding you.
- Why? Because I'm a woman?
1187
01:08:20,303 --> 01:08:23,375
- That's supremely sexist.
- Well, look, I don't think using women as human shields
1188
01:08:23,478 --> 01:08:26,205
is exactly the change that Gloria
Seinfeld had in mind, do you?
1189
01:08:26,309 --> 01:08:29,139
- Gloria Steinem?
- Whatever. Her too. You know what? Fine.
1190
01:08:29,243 --> 01:08:32,315
- Please mansplain sexism to me right now.
- Oh, my God. I am a woman.
1191
01:08:32,418 --> 01:08:34,524
I can't mansplain anything.
1192
01:08:34,627 --> 01:08:39,356
Uh, I'm a feminist, and I think a
woman can do anything a man can do.
1193
01:08:39,460 --> 01:08:41,910
- We just need to stay here until they get tired.
- I have an idea.
1194
01:08:42,014 --> 01:08:43,705
- Please can I tell you my plan?
- Alan!
1195
01:08:43,809 --> 01:08:47,123
This is not a situation you can
get out of by ripping your shirt off.
1196
01:08:47,226 --> 01:08:49,159
Not my shirt.
1197
01:09:20,604 --> 01:09:21,916
Three!
1198
01:09:22,019 --> 01:09:23,607
- Yes!
- Oh!
1199
01:09:27,715 --> 01:09:29,579
Oh.
1200
01:09:29,682 --> 01:09:32,927
That was different
than I had in my head.
1201
01:09:33,030 --> 01:09:37,103
- I just wanted us to stop them.
- Could it have been the wind that made it do that?
1202
01:09:37,207 --> 01:09:39,313
No, I think it was us.
I think... we did it.
1203
01:09:39,416 --> 01:09:41,832
We did the one guy,
right? But that was, like...
1204
01:09:41,936 --> 01:09:45,284
We just wanted him to stop. But I think
the other guy could've moved, really.
1205
01:09:45,388 --> 01:09:47,528
So, that was... that one was on him.
1206
01:09:47,631 --> 01:09:50,496
Even if we weren't here,
that could've happened.
1207
01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:52,326
Why are you gonna stop next to a cliff?
1208
01:09:52,429 --> 01:09:54,880
They were wearing helmets,
so maybe they're...
1209
01:09:54,983 --> 01:09:57,158
But the rest of their body
didn't have a helmet.
1210
01:09:57,262 --> 01:09:58,470
So there'd just be a head.
1211
01:09:58,573 --> 01:10:00,851
They were driving recklessly, right?
1212
01:10:00,955 --> 01:10:02,681
Don't be mean on a bike.
1213
01:10:03,371 --> 01:10:05,131
Don't do mean stuff on a bike.
1214
01:10:08,928 --> 01:10:11,172
I mean, perhaps they're fine.
1215
01:10:11,276 --> 01:10:13,692
Yeah, probably not. But that's okay.
1216
01:10:13,795 --> 01:10:18,075
That's all right. You know,
things happen. Let's go.
1217
01:10:20,285 --> 01:10:23,460
- You gonna put it back together?
- It's on loan.
1218
01:10:36,266 --> 01:10:38,579
- Look at me.
- Okay.
1219
01:10:39,476 --> 01:10:41,513
What more can I do, you know?
1220
01:10:41,616 --> 01:10:43,549
You've done so much already, Beth.
1221
01:10:43,653 --> 01:10:46,690
My poor, sweet, little
Nana has lost her sight.
1222
01:10:46,794 --> 01:10:49,521
The book release is
a complete disaster,
1223
01:10:49,624 --> 01:10:51,281
which I've leveraged everything on,
1224
01:10:51,385 --> 01:10:53,732
so I'm probably, most
definitely broke right now.
1225
01:10:53,835 --> 01:10:57,080
And most importantly,
I've lost a writer.
1226
01:10:57,183 --> 01:10:58,737
Who does that? Who loses a writer?
1227
01:10:58,840 --> 01:11:03,362
Okay, Beth, you remind
me of my best friend, Randy.
1228
01:11:03,466 --> 01:11:05,951
Always looking out for other people,
1229
01:11:06,054 --> 01:11:08,402
never taking care of herself.
1230
01:11:09,403 --> 01:11:10,818
Isn't that right, Randy?
1231
01:11:13,338 --> 01:11:15,201
She's like my therapist,
this one over here.
1232
01:11:15,305 --> 01:11:17,411
LOL. "Laughing Out Loud."
1233
01:11:17,514 --> 01:11:19,482
After you take care of your friend,
1234
01:11:20,379 --> 01:11:21,725
how about we go to a beach?
1235
01:11:21,829 --> 01:11:24,314
- What?
- Look, I have a pickup in Hawaii.
1236
01:11:24,418 --> 01:11:26,385
She doesn't have to come.
1237
01:11:26,489 --> 01:11:29,285
Okay! Okay, you can come!
1238
01:11:29,388 --> 01:11:31,390
She's hilarious.
1239
01:11:32,184 --> 01:11:34,013
Let me ask you something.
1240
01:11:34,117 --> 01:11:36,222
We're all sitting here chitchatting,
but who's flying the plane?
1241
01:11:36,326 --> 01:11:38,259
- Autopilot.
- What?
1242
01:11:38,363 --> 01:11:41,089
Sir, go to the cockpit, fly the plane.
1243
01:11:41,538 --> 01:11:42,539
Okay.
1244
01:11:43,299 --> 01:11:45,059
I'm going to go land the plane.
1245
01:11:45,162 --> 01:11:46,612
Okay.
1246
01:11:46,716 --> 01:11:48,614
No, no, no. Take the
goat. Please, take the goat.
1247
01:11:48,718 --> 01:11:51,376
She's on break. Enjoy the flight!
1248
01:12:26,790 --> 01:12:28,136
- Hi.
- Hola.
1249
01:12:32,589 --> 01:12:35,281
This English dude came in
and basically kidnapped her.
1250
01:12:37,422 --> 01:12:40,735
Hey, it's Beth. Please leave a message,
and I'll get right back to you.
1251
01:12:40,839 --> 01:12:43,704
Uh, hi, Beth.
1252
01:12:43,807 --> 01:12:44,808
It's me.
1253
01:12:44,912 --> 01:12:46,741
Uh, I'm alive!
1254
01:12:47,466 --> 01:12:49,503
Uh, listen, um...
1255
01:12:50,814 --> 01:12:51,850
Uh...
1256
01:12:53,299 --> 01:12:57,407
I'm sorry that I blew up the book tour.
1257
01:12:57,511 --> 01:12:59,236
Um...
1258
01:12:59,340 --> 01:13:01,722
I was just afraid
1259
01:13:02,861 --> 01:13:04,518
and selfish. Uh...
1260
01:13:04,621 --> 01:13:07,348
Oh, here comes
Alan. I'll call you back.
1261
01:13:10,524 --> 01:13:13,527
So, uh, police are
searching for Fairfax,
1262
01:13:13,630 --> 01:13:16,081
and they're gonna provide
us protection while we're here.
1263
01:13:16,184 --> 01:13:18,014
Did they say how long we'd be here?
1264
01:13:18,117 --> 01:13:20,775
They're gonna try to get us on a
puddle jumper later this evening.
1265
01:13:20,879 --> 01:13:23,088
But, uh, they said in the
meantime, the inn is really nice,
1266
01:13:23,191 --> 01:13:25,780
and we can get cleaned up
and maybe a change of clothes.
1267
01:13:25,884 --> 01:13:27,299
Okay.
1268
01:13:30,751 --> 01:13:32,304
Okay. Yeah.
1269
01:14:25,081 --> 01:14:26,531
Thank you.
1270
01:14:27,117 --> 01:14:30,362
Come on.
1271
01:14:30,466 --> 01:14:31,708
Dance with your husband.
1272
01:14:31,812 --> 01:14:33,607
- No, no, no.
- He's not my husband.
1273
01:14:33,710 --> 01:14:35,436
- It's okay.
- Dance with him.
1274
01:14:35,540 --> 01:14:38,025
No, no. She doesn't want to.
She doesn't have the right shoes.
1275
01:14:38,128 --> 01:14:40,648
Actually, it's the only thing
these shoes are right for.
1276
01:14:40,752 --> 01:14:42,995
You don't have to do this.
1277
01:14:43,099 --> 01:14:44,859
It's okay. It's okay.
1278
01:14:45,757 --> 01:14:46,723
Yeah?
1279
01:16:05,353 --> 01:16:07,045
I wonder what she's saying.
1280
01:16:09,426 --> 01:16:10,911
It's folklore.
1281
01:16:12,326 --> 01:16:14,362
Love song about a woman
1282
01:16:14,466 --> 01:16:17,780
whose lover died, and she
didn't want to leave his side.
1283
01:16:18,815 --> 01:16:21,646
So she laid down and refused to get up.
1284
01:16:22,232 --> 01:16:23,993
Must be scary.
1285
01:16:24,096 --> 01:16:27,997
Having to face your future without
the person that you planned it with.
1286
01:16:40,354 --> 01:16:41,907
What was that?
1287
01:16:44,047 --> 01:16:47,706
Excuse me. Excuse me. The,
um... the last line that you sang.
1288
01:16:47,810 --> 01:16:50,157
�Qui�n llorar� junto a m�?
1289
01:16:53,091 --> 01:16:55,921
"The island will weep for me
in the well of endless tears."
1290
01:16:56,025 --> 01:16:59,407
What is that, the well of endless
tears? Is that a real place, or...
1291
01:16:59,511 --> 01:17:01,133
Sinkhole place.
1292
01:17:02,928 --> 01:17:04,654
Thank you. Gracias, gracias.
1293
01:17:04,758 --> 01:17:06,829
- Come here, come here.
- What is it?
1294
01:17:08,451 --> 01:17:10,280
Hey, on the parchment, it said,
1295
01:17:10,384 --> 01:17:14,457
"King Kalaman and his treasure laid
to rest in the well of endless tears."
1296
01:17:14,560 --> 01:17:16,666
I thought maybe it was a metaphor.
1297
01:17:17,184 --> 01:17:18,737
It's not.
1298
01:17:18,841 --> 01:17:21,706
The Well of Endless Tears is a place.
1299
01:17:21,809 --> 01:17:23,811
It's a sinkhole.
1300
01:17:23,915 --> 01:17:26,089
There's a sinkhole on the map.
1301
01:17:27,435 --> 01:17:29,196
I think the tomb is there.
1302
01:17:29,299 --> 01:17:31,681
- This is so much better than your books.
- What?
1303
01:17:31,785 --> 01:17:33,269
There's like... No, I
don't mean any offense.
1304
01:17:33,372 --> 01:17:35,271
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
- It's, like, equal.
1305
01:17:35,374 --> 01:17:37,583
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
- Look at you. You want to go there.
1306
01:17:37,687 --> 01:17:39,551
- What? No.
- I can see. Yes, you do.
1307
01:17:39,655 --> 01:17:42,761
That would be insane. That
would be insane. I just... I just...
1308
01:17:42,865 --> 01:17:47,248
It's just that we're so close
to it, but, you know, we can't...
1309
01:17:47,352 --> 01:17:48,664
No.
1310
01:17:48,767 --> 01:17:51,459
This is your story. How
do you want to write it?
1311
01:17:52,253 --> 01:17:54,566
I'd like to know that it's there,
1312
01:17:54,670 --> 01:17:56,326
that all this meant something.
1313
01:17:56,430 --> 01:17:58,294
Okay. Then let's go.
1314
01:17:58,397 --> 01:18:00,261
We'll stay one more day.
As soon as the sun's up,
1315
01:18:00,365 --> 01:18:02,125
we're gonna go find the
Well of Endless Tears.
1316
01:18:02,229 --> 01:18:05,094
- But what if it's nothing?
- So what? Then we say we tried.
1317
01:18:05,197 --> 01:18:06,440
And Fairfax?
1318
01:18:06,543 --> 01:18:08,960
The cops are after Fairfax.
Don't worry about him.
1319
01:18:10,064 --> 01:18:10,858
This is crazy.
1320
01:18:10,962 --> 01:18:12,653
- Yeah, but look at you.
- What?
1321
01:18:12,757 --> 01:18:15,725
It's the very first time I've
ever seen you totally unafraid.
1322
01:18:16,346 --> 01:18:18,072
And alive.
1323
01:18:18,176 --> 01:18:20,696
I'm gonna go tell them our plans
have changed and find us a ride.
1324
01:18:20,799 --> 01:18:22,249
Where are you going?
1325
01:18:25,908 --> 01:18:27,979
I see you met my friend here.
1326
01:18:28,082 --> 01:18:32,466
He told me you were just
about to jump on a plane,
1327
01:18:32,569 --> 01:18:35,020
without so much as saying goodbye.
1328
01:18:35,124 --> 01:18:38,541
I said, "No way. Not my Loretta.
1329
01:18:38,644 --> 01:18:43,097
Not when she's the only one
who can lead me to the tomb."
1330
01:18:46,514 --> 01:18:48,585
Stop squeezing so hard.
1331
01:18:49,414 --> 01:18:52,210
Ow. Get your hands off of me!
1332
01:18:53,073 --> 01:18:54,937
Ow! Let go!
1333
01:18:55,420 --> 01:18:56,628
I-I need a car.
1334
01:18:56,732 --> 01:18:58,664
A car, an auto. Does
anybody have an auto?
1335
01:19:07,156 --> 01:19:08,226
No, no. No.
1336
01:19:08,951 --> 01:19:10,262
I-I-I need an auto.
1337
01:19:10,366 --> 01:19:11,712
I'll trade you my watch.
1338
01:19:11,816 --> 01:19:13,231
It's a really expensive
watch. Do you have a car?
1339
01:19:13,334 --> 01:19:14,853
It's a Bulgari. This
thing glows in the dark.
1340
01:19:14,957 --> 01:19:16,752
- It's waterproof.
- I have motorcycle.
1341
01:19:30,351 --> 01:19:32,112
Cool, isn't it?
1342
01:19:32,215 --> 01:19:35,322
I always thought, why can't your
personal tank also have a minibar?
1343
01:19:35,425 --> 01:19:36,910
Have a drink.
1344
01:19:37,013 --> 01:19:38,566
Do you mind?
1345
01:19:38,670 --> 01:19:40,085
Uh, yes.
1346
01:19:40,189 --> 01:19:42,329
He has a bit of a grudge
against you, I'm afraid.
1347
01:19:42,432 --> 01:19:45,228
Something about a motorbike
accident his friends had?
1348
01:19:45,332 --> 01:19:46,505
Why are you doing this?
1349
01:19:46,609 --> 01:19:48,369
I want something nobody else has.
1350
01:19:49,267 --> 01:19:51,096
When my father gifted...
1351
01:19:54,168 --> 01:19:55,687
As I was saying,
1352
01:19:55,791 --> 01:19:58,724
when my father gifted his empire
1353
01:19:58,828 --> 01:20:01,279
to my baby brother...
1354
01:20:08,320 --> 01:20:09,839
Who is that?
1355
01:20:18,572 --> 01:20:20,781
Is that a Ken doll on a moped?
1356
01:20:21,575 --> 01:20:23,094
I know him from somewhere.
1357
01:20:23,197 --> 01:20:24,854
Oh, I-I-I doubt that.
1358
01:20:24,958 --> 01:20:27,167
Because what you are looking at
1359
01:20:27,270 --> 01:20:30,170
is a highly trained combat specialist,
1360
01:20:30,273 --> 01:20:33,863
forged in the furnaces
of Afghanistan, Iraq,
1361
01:20:33,967 --> 01:20:36,555
Kuwait, Sa... Sarasota...
1362
01:20:36,659 --> 01:20:38,730
Incredible skin. No eczema problems.
1363
01:20:38,834 --> 01:20:42,527
And he will not stop until I am safe!
1364
01:20:42,630 --> 01:20:44,840
So you pull this space tank over,
1365
01:20:44,943 --> 01:20:48,084
unless you would like to
perish like his friends did.
1366
01:20:48,188 --> 01:20:51,605
And he is responsible
for their perishment.
1367
01:20:51,708 --> 01:20:54,401
He might not have meant to,
1368
01:20:54,504 --> 01:20:57,783
but they... perished, so...
1369
01:21:12,729 --> 01:21:13,972
Okay, who-who is this?
1370
01:21:14,076 --> 01:21:15,974
I have seen him somewhere before.
1371
01:21:18,459 --> 01:21:19,702
No, no, no.
1372
01:21:19,805 --> 01:21:21,531
That's your cover model, isn't it?
1373
01:21:21,635 --> 01:21:23,913
Yes. I knew I knew him from somewhere.
1374
01:21:24,810 --> 01:21:25,881
Get up there.
1375
01:21:25,984 --> 01:21:27,365
And kill him creatively.
1376
01:21:27,468 --> 01:21:29,574
I love watching hunks fail.
1377
01:21:31,921 --> 01:21:34,165
I guess I-I will have that drink.
1378
01:21:35,856 --> 01:21:37,133
Oh, shit.
1379
01:21:37,237 --> 01:21:39,791
Is it okay if I just top 'er off?
1380
01:21:39,895 --> 01:21:41,068
Yeah, that's fine, but...
1381
01:21:41,172 --> 01:21:43,139
Oh, my God, have you
used a glass before?
1382
01:21:43,243 --> 01:21:44,589
Sorry.
1383
01:21:44,692 --> 01:21:46,177
What would Jack Trainer do?
1384
01:21:48,386 --> 01:21:49,456
It's hot in here.
1385
01:21:49,559 --> 01:21:52,562
Anyone else feeling how hot it is?
1386
01:21:52,666 --> 01:21:53,736
Are you trying to be sexy?
1387
01:21:53,839 --> 01:21:55,634
This is very weird. Please, stop.
1388
01:21:55,738 --> 01:21:57,636
I could set your world on fire.
1389
01:22:08,233 --> 01:22:10,546
Go to sleep! Go to sleep!
1390
01:22:10,649 --> 01:22:12,375
Go to sleep! Sleep!
1391
01:22:14,791 --> 01:22:16,621
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1392
01:22:16,724 --> 01:22:18,002
Time-out.
1393
01:22:18,105 --> 01:22:19,037
Time-in!
1394
01:22:24,870 --> 01:22:27,701
No! Don't shoot her! I need her!
1395
01:22:29,358 --> 01:22:31,222
Oh, Jesus!
1396
01:22:31,325 --> 01:22:32,740
Ow, ow, ow.
1397
01:22:36,675 --> 01:22:39,092
Move your foot! Move your foot!
1398
01:22:42,164 --> 01:22:44,373
Go to sleep, asshole.
1399
01:22:44,476 --> 01:22:46,133
Get out there! Look!
1400
01:22:50,724 --> 01:22:52,036
A bigger guy?
1401
01:22:52,139 --> 01:22:53,347
Oh, no.
1402
01:22:54,693 --> 01:22:55,936
What?
1403
01:22:58,421 --> 01:22:59,353
Move it!
1404
01:23:01,079 --> 01:23:03,392
No, no, no. No, no, no.
1405
01:23:04,289 --> 01:23:06,188
Hey! Get in.
1406
01:23:06,705 --> 01:23:07,810
Him or me?
1407
01:23:11,917 --> 01:23:16,715
This is not one of your cheap,
vapid lady-fantasy books, Loretta.
1408
01:23:16,819 --> 01:23:18,786
This is real life.
1409
01:23:19,718 --> 01:23:21,582
And we will kill him.
1410
01:23:21,686 --> 01:23:23,412
Tell us where the tomb is.
1411
01:23:38,082 --> 01:23:39,393
Hi. So, whoever's in charge,
1412
01:23:39,497 --> 01:23:42,120
I need you to send
officials to go here.
1413
01:23:42,224 --> 01:23:43,328
Here.
1414
01:23:44,467 --> 01:23:46,297
We are closed.
1415
01:23:46,400 --> 01:23:47,746
You're closed?
1416
01:23:49,679 --> 01:23:52,786
You know I've been trying to
take a nap for a year and a half?
1417
01:23:52,889 --> 01:23:54,443
A year and a half.
1418
01:23:55,375 --> 01:23:58,481
I have been burning
the candle at both ends,
1419
01:23:58,585 --> 01:23:59,931
the midnight oil,
1420
01:24:00,035 --> 01:24:03,003
since way before my
friend got kidnapped.
1421
01:24:03,107 --> 01:24:04,970
And all I want to do
1422
01:24:05,523 --> 01:24:07,663
is kick my feet back
1423
01:24:07,766 --> 01:24:09,009
and drink some wine
1424
01:24:09,113 --> 01:24:11,494
that I'm probably too tired to drink.
1425
01:24:11,598 --> 01:24:13,531
And I want a massage.
1426
01:24:13,634 --> 01:24:18,294
I want someone to massage
my shoulders and my feet,
1427
01:24:18,398 --> 01:24:20,434
and I want it at the same time.
1428
01:24:20,538 --> 01:24:24,231
And I don't care if logistically
that doesn't make sense.
1429
01:24:24,335 --> 01:24:26,992
Because I have worked hard.
1430
01:24:27,855 --> 01:24:30,306
The same way that I know that you have.
1431
01:24:31,204 --> 01:24:33,413
So I hate to ask you
1432
01:24:33,516 --> 01:24:35,898
to leave this place
open a few more minutes,
1433
01:24:36,001 --> 01:24:37,934
because if we don't,
1434
01:24:38,038 --> 01:24:41,593
a very close friend of
mine and her cover model
1435
01:24:41,697 --> 01:24:43,457
are going to die.
1436
01:25:06,308 --> 01:25:07,861
No good way in, boss!
1437
01:25:07,964 --> 01:25:10,105
What about the caves?
1438
01:25:10,864 --> 01:25:12,210
That's too dangerous!
1439
01:25:12,314 --> 01:25:15,317
Well, we'll be very careful then.
1440
01:25:28,882 --> 01:25:30,194
Well, come on!
1441
01:25:34,888 --> 01:25:36,717
- This way.
- I have a rule about
1442
01:25:36,821 --> 01:25:38,340
not going into super creepy caves.
1443
01:25:49,696 --> 01:25:52,630
- Julian?
- His name is Julian?
1444
01:25:52,733 --> 01:25:55,598
He seems more like a Buck or a Bruce.
1445
01:25:55,702 --> 01:25:57,186
Lead the way.
1446
01:26:00,879 --> 01:26:03,261
Go on. Don't be scared.
1447
01:26:33,015 --> 01:26:34,810
Watch your step there.
1448
01:26:34,913 --> 01:26:36,087
Bruce!
1449
01:26:36,191 --> 01:26:37,192
- Julian. Oh, no!
- Julian!
1450
01:26:37,295 --> 01:26:38,917
Whoa.
1451
01:26:39,021 --> 01:26:40,540
Whoa.
1452
01:26:41,196 --> 01:26:42,680
Well...
1453
01:26:43,508 --> 01:26:45,234
Let's not have his death be in vain.
1454
01:26:45,338 --> 01:26:48,099
- Onward and upward.
- What do you mean onward?
1455
01:26:48,203 --> 01:26:50,653
We're not gonna go and
get him now, are we?
1456
01:26:50,757 --> 01:26:52,172
Oh, man.
1457
01:27:04,564 --> 01:27:06,221
- It's nothing.
- Okay.
1458
01:27:06,324 --> 01:27:09,016
Yeah. Look, let's just
go back to the boat.
1459
01:27:09,120 --> 01:27:10,984
This is over. Nobody else has to die.
1460
01:27:11,087 --> 01:27:13,262
No, no, no. Ha-ha! It's a breeze.
1461
01:27:13,366 --> 01:27:15,816
There's a tunnel. This
could lead to the tomb.
1462
01:27:15,920 --> 01:27:17,784
- That's not person-sized.
- Ah, speak for yourself.
1463
01:27:17,887 --> 01:27:20,165
Come on. It's
practically a kiddie slide.
1464
01:27:20,269 --> 01:27:22,582
- More like a rock sphincter.
- Or a troll anus.
1465
01:27:22,685 --> 01:27:25,067
All right, well, you are
going through the anus...
1466
01:27:25,170 --> 01:27:26,482
The hole... the tunnel!
1467
01:27:26,586 --> 01:27:28,588
- Why her?
- You are our canary in the coal mine.
1468
01:27:28,691 --> 01:27:30,106
No, that's impossible. I can't.
1469
01:27:30,210 --> 01:27:31,660
Please let us know if you get through.
1470
01:27:31,763 --> 01:27:34,076
If we don't hear from
you, Fabio's got to die.
1471
01:27:34,179 --> 01:27:36,354
Wait, I'm the damsel in distress?
1472
01:27:37,044 --> 01:27:38,287
It's okay. I'm fine.
1473
01:28:14,323 --> 01:28:16,774
I can't. I'm so sorry. I can't.
1474
01:28:16,877 --> 01:28:18,603
- Hey.
- What?
1475
01:28:19,328 --> 01:28:21,296
Hey, you smell that?
1476
01:28:21,399 --> 01:28:24,333
You mean centuries worth of bat
feces? Yes, I definitely smell that.
1477
01:28:24,437 --> 01:28:26,646
You gotta take a big breath for me.
1478
01:28:31,754 --> 01:28:33,135
There you go.
1479
01:28:33,238 --> 01:28:35,102
You can do it, Loretta.
1480
01:28:48,046 --> 01:28:50,808
I think I see a way out.
1481
01:28:54,363 --> 01:28:56,572
Oh, cheese and rice!
1482
01:29:01,266 --> 01:29:02,613
I made it!
1483
01:29:02,716 --> 01:29:04,200
I made it!
1484
01:29:04,304 --> 01:29:06,789
See? Totally safe.
1485
01:29:07,790 --> 01:29:08,860
Go on. Your turn.
1486
01:29:10,552 --> 01:29:13,451
I'm coming through!
Be right there, okay?
1487
01:30:17,619 --> 01:30:19,759
Why would they build this here?
1488
01:30:20,863 --> 01:30:22,589
But how is anyone supposed to worship
1489
01:30:22,693 --> 01:30:24,384
or remember you if
they can't even see it?
1490
01:30:24,488 --> 01:30:26,351
They aren't.
1491
01:30:26,455 --> 01:30:29,424
This isn't a monument
to Kalaman's power.
1492
01:30:30,528 --> 01:30:33,117
It's a hiding place
for a grieving woman.
1493
01:30:33,220 --> 01:30:36,672
Taha came here to
be with her fallen lover.
1494
01:30:38,329 --> 01:30:39,779
She just wanted to be alone.
1495
01:30:41,436 --> 01:30:42,954
Taha doesn't want us here.
1496
01:30:43,058 --> 01:30:44,404
God, shut up, Rafi.
1497
01:30:44,508 --> 01:30:46,371
It's just the volcano.
1498
01:30:48,028 --> 01:30:49,340
Come on.
1499
01:30:54,483 --> 01:30:56,140
We have to keep going.
1500
01:31:04,320 --> 01:31:05,977
All right. Let's go, Muscles.
1501
01:31:06,771 --> 01:31:08,601
Open it up.
1502
01:31:08,704 --> 01:31:11,155
- Don't disturb them.
- She will be wearing the headdress.
1503
01:31:11,258 --> 01:31:13,847
Come on. We didn't come all
this way just to pay our respects.
1504
01:31:13,951 --> 01:31:15,608
I can't, um...
1505
01:31:18,369 --> 01:31:20,578
- Uh...
- I'm sorry, abuela.
1506
01:31:41,806 --> 01:31:43,118
What is that?
1507
01:31:45,258 --> 01:31:47,674
Are those... seashells?
1508
01:31:48,433 --> 01:31:51,298
The crown is made of seashells?
1509
01:31:51,402 --> 01:31:52,955
Where's the treasure?
1510
01:31:53,956 --> 01:31:55,406
She's holding him.
1511
01:31:58,202 --> 01:31:59,962
You mean the dead guy?
1512
01:32:06,486 --> 01:32:07,694
Look.
1513
01:32:09,696 --> 01:32:11,422
It's their courtship.
1514
01:32:11,526 --> 01:32:15,426
Kalaman is searching
the island for something.
1515
01:32:18,256 --> 01:32:19,844
Rare red seashells.
1516
01:32:19,948 --> 01:32:24,953
To prove his love, he gave her
one shell every day for a year
1517
01:32:25,056 --> 01:32:26,610
and made them into a crown,
1518
01:32:26,713 --> 01:32:29,509
bright red like the
flame of their love,
1519
01:32:29,613 --> 01:32:32,995
until the day came where
she accepted his proposal.
1520
01:32:33,099 --> 01:32:34,859
It was never about jewels.
1521
01:32:34,963 --> 01:32:38,691
Kalaman and Taha's
riches weren't material.
1522
01:32:40,624 --> 01:32:42,557
It was their love.
1523
01:32:42,660 --> 01:32:45,007
That's what it meant. That was enough.
1524
01:32:45,111 --> 01:32:46,319
So that's it?
1525
01:32:47,216 --> 01:32:50,116
All of that time and money
1526
01:32:50,944 --> 01:32:54,534
spent on, what, just a cheap metaphor?
1527
01:32:54,638 --> 01:32:57,433
- It's a pretty rich metaphor.
- Oh, shut up!
1528
01:32:57,537 --> 01:32:59,574
We got to go. We got to go now.
1529
01:32:59,677 --> 01:33:02,853
- Come on. Let's go.
- No, no, no. You are staying here.
1530
01:33:02,956 --> 01:33:05,027
You think it's all so sweet and poetic.
1531
01:33:05,131 --> 01:33:07,616
Well, then you can stay here
and spend your last moments
1532
01:33:07,720 --> 01:33:10,654
pondering the richness
of that metaphor.
1533
01:33:11,344 --> 01:33:13,622
- Get in.
- What? Come on, man.
1534
01:33:13,726 --> 01:33:16,176
- Oh, God. Just get in. Get in the tomb.
- Okay, okay.
1535
01:33:16,280 --> 01:33:18,903
It's better to be buried alive
than buried dead, I guess.
1536
01:33:19,007 --> 01:33:22,286
- It's really not.
- You know, it is a shame, really.
1537
01:33:22,389 --> 01:33:23,908
This is a hell of a story.
1538
01:33:24,012 --> 01:33:26,704
Pity you won't be around
to tell it. Come on.
1539
01:33:26,808 --> 01:33:28,395
- But they'll die.
- So will you
1540
01:33:28,499 --> 01:33:31,088
if you don't stop being such
a snowflake! Get over here!
1541
01:33:40,684 --> 01:33:42,686
This is fine. This is not
an active nightmare
1542
01:33:42,789 --> 01:33:44,446
I've had since I was 14 years old.
1543
01:33:46,206 --> 01:33:47,691
Ow!
1544
01:33:47,794 --> 01:33:51,522
Why are you going
so fast? It's not a race.
1545
01:33:56,527 --> 01:33:58,840
Wait, no! What are you
doing? Come back here!
1546
01:33:58,943 --> 01:34:03,638
You may have bought the island,
but now the island owns you!
1547
01:34:04,500 --> 01:34:05,985
You can't just leave me here!
1548
01:34:08,021 --> 01:34:10,403
Rafi! Come back!
1549
01:34:12,577 --> 01:34:13,993
I need a boat!
1550
01:34:23,416 --> 01:34:25,521
Hey, hey, stop! Stop!
1551
01:34:27,523 --> 01:34:29,387
Help! Help!
1552
01:34:29,491 --> 01:34:31,596
One of the locals just stole my boat!
1553
01:34:31,700 --> 01:34:33,460
Have you seen a woman?
1554
01:34:33,564 --> 01:34:36,671
She's a brunette in
a sequined jumpsuit.
1555
01:34:36,774 --> 01:34:40,778
No. Is she in some sort of trouble?
1556
01:34:52,445 --> 01:34:54,171
It's kind of funny.
1557
01:34:55,586 --> 01:34:57,381
I used to think this...
1558
01:34:57,484 --> 01:34:59,383
this sort of thing was so romantic.
1559
01:34:59,486 --> 01:35:00,867
Yeah?
1560
01:35:00,971 --> 01:35:04,319
Being locked in a coffin
about to be buried by lava,
1561
01:35:04,422 --> 01:35:07,011
or... cuddling dead people?
1562
01:35:07,805 --> 01:35:10,877
Just laying down with a lost love.
1563
01:35:10,981 --> 01:35:12,189
Like Taha did.
1564
01:35:14,743 --> 01:35:15,951
God.Oh...
1565
01:35:16,538 --> 01:35:17,919
Oh, God.
1566
01:35:18,022 --> 01:35:20,231
I'm sorry.
1567
01:35:20,335 --> 01:35:22,786
I'm sorry that I couldn't save you.
1568
01:35:22,889 --> 01:35:24,857
I'm sorry I couldn't be Dash.
1569
01:35:25,443 --> 01:35:26,721
You're right.
1570
01:35:27,756 --> 01:35:29,309
You're nothing like Dash.
1571
01:35:29,413 --> 01:35:32,450
You didn't ride in on a
white horse to save me.
1572
01:35:32,554 --> 01:35:37,939
You rode in on a... borrowed
scooter with a broken muffler.
1573
01:35:39,319 --> 01:35:40,735
Yeah.
1574
01:35:40,838 --> 01:35:43,738
I never could've
written a Dash like you.
1575
01:35:45,636 --> 01:35:47,569
'Cause I never knew
1576
01:35:48,259 --> 01:35:50,054
a Dash like Alan.
1577
01:35:50,158 --> 01:35:52,608
I was so afraid of
being hurt by life again
1578
01:35:52,712 --> 01:35:54,093
that I just stopped living.
1579
01:35:54,196 --> 01:35:56,198
Couldn't see the good
things in front of me.
1580
01:35:56,302 --> 01:35:59,788
I'm just so sorry I
didn't see you sooner.
1581
01:36:00,755 --> 01:36:02,480
I have a confession too.
1582
01:36:02,584 --> 01:36:06,484
See, I was really liking where
this new story of ours was headed.
1583
01:36:06,588 --> 01:36:09,798
I just wanted to see how it
was gonna turn out, I guess.
1584
01:36:11,110 --> 01:36:13,664
The Adventures of Loretta and Alan.
1585
01:36:15,770 --> 01:36:17,702
No, it would need a
better title than that.
1586
01:36:17,806 --> 01:36:19,774
Yeah, definitely. Definitely.
1587
01:36:20,913 --> 01:36:24,709
Sorry. Just... Taha's
femur is poking me.
1588
01:36:28,403 --> 01:36:30,163
Rafi must have left that.
1589
01:36:30,267 --> 01:36:32,787
How do you forget your
crowbar? It's gonna help us escape.
1590
01:36:32,890 --> 01:36:34,512
No, he left it on purpose.
1591
01:36:34,616 --> 01:36:36,307
Oh, cool. I always liked him.
1592
01:36:36,411 --> 01:36:37,826
- One...
- Okay.
1593
01:36:37,930 --> 01:36:39,759
- ...two, three!
- Okay.
1594
01:36:39,863 --> 01:36:43,798
I would've preferred him to not leave
us here in the first place, but...
1595
01:36:44,488 --> 01:36:45,316
Okay.
1596
01:37:06,372 --> 01:37:08,581
Dulcius ex asperis.
1597
01:37:12,930 --> 01:37:14,829
Sweeter after difficulty.
1598
01:37:21,456 --> 01:37:22,906
Go up! Run for the trees!
1599
01:37:24,114 --> 01:37:27,013
Wait. Nope. Never
mind. Trees are on fire.
1600
01:37:27,462 --> 01:37:29,153
Okay.
1601
01:37:30,741 --> 01:37:32,605
We can go back through the tunnel.
1602
01:37:33,571 --> 01:37:34,849
Nope. Tunnel's a no-go.
1603
01:37:39,957 --> 01:37:41,925
Um, okay. I'm open to other ideas.
1604
01:37:42,028 --> 01:37:45,583
There's a current. We
can follow it into the ocean.
1605
01:37:45,687 --> 01:37:47,309
How do we know
what's on the other side?
1606
01:37:47,827 --> 01:37:48,897
We don't.
1607
01:37:50,726 --> 01:37:52,867
There's only one way to find out.
1608
01:37:54,420 --> 01:37:56,077
- Worth the rash.
- Yeah?
1609
01:38:17,063 --> 01:38:18,064
Alan?
1610
01:38:26,521 --> 01:38:27,763
Alan!
1611
01:39:05,215 --> 01:39:06,216
Alan?
1612
01:39:06,319 --> 01:39:09,012
A... Alan?
1613
01:39:10,220 --> 01:39:11,221
Alan!
1614
01:39:14,500 --> 01:39:16,226
Oh, my God! You're alive!
1615
01:39:16,329 --> 01:39:18,573
- I'm alive.
- Oh, my God. I thought I killed you.
1616
01:39:21,541 --> 01:39:22,508
Is that Beth?
1617
01:39:22,611 --> 01:39:23,854
Loretta!
1618
01:39:24,475 --> 01:39:25,649
Beth!
1619
01:39:25,752 --> 01:39:27,409
Beth! Beth!
1620
01:39:27,513 --> 01:39:28,755
Beth!
1621
01:39:34,416 --> 01:39:35,797
Beth, you're here!
1622
01:39:36,453 --> 01:39:37,661
Why are you here?
1623
01:39:37,764 --> 01:39:40,560
I told you I got your back, girl!
1624
01:39:41,147 --> 01:39:42,942
I'm so sorry!
1625
01:39:43,046 --> 01:39:45,151
I destroyed the jumpsuit!
1626
01:39:45,600 --> 01:39:46,601
What?
1627
01:39:46,704 --> 01:39:49,224
Never mind! Later.
1628
01:39:49,328 --> 01:39:51,330
I found a British guy in a cave.
1629
01:39:51,433 --> 01:39:53,918
I thought he was a little
boy, but he has a full beard.
1630
01:39:54,022 --> 01:39:57,301
Beth, that's Fairfax! He kidnapped us!
1631
01:39:57,405 --> 01:40:00,166
He's a bad guy, Beth!
He killed my trainer!
1632
01:40:00,270 --> 01:40:01,271
Get him!
1633
01:40:01,788 --> 01:40:02,962
Stop him!
1634
01:40:10,797 --> 01:40:13,007
I got your back, girl.
1635
01:40:15,147 --> 01:40:17,114
Where were you running? It's a boat.
1636
01:40:17,218 --> 01:40:18,736
This guy's hilarious.
1637
01:40:18,840 --> 01:40:20,566
Got you.
1638
01:40:20,669 --> 01:40:21,946
Swim over to the rock!
1639
01:40:22,050 --> 01:40:24,121
- I don't got you. No, I got you.
- I got you.
1640
01:40:24,225 --> 01:40:26,123
We're gonna get you.
It's gonna be okay.
1641
01:40:26,227 --> 01:40:28,815
"Finding refuge on a nearby rock,
1642
01:40:28,919 --> 01:40:31,025
he lifted her from the water,
1643
01:40:31,128 --> 01:40:34,304
his powerful arms
pulling her body close.
1644
01:40:34,407 --> 01:40:35,546
Alan whispered..."
1645
01:40:35,650 --> 01:40:38,204
Shh. You're safe now.
1646
01:40:40,620 --> 01:40:45,280
"In that moment, Loretta could feel
a new adventure was just beginning."
1647
01:40:46,557 --> 01:40:49,215
"The heart-pounding passion
of the narrow escape
1648
01:40:49,319 --> 01:40:52,253
only inflamed Loretta's desire for him.
1649
01:40:52,356 --> 01:40:56,567
She was thirsty for the hot lava
soon to be pulsing from his..."
1650
01:40:56,671 --> 01:41:00,261
Don't you go stopping
right at the good part.
1651
01:41:01,607 --> 01:41:03,436
It's nothing she hasn't read before.
1652
01:41:03,540 --> 01:41:04,920
Didn't I tell you?
1653
01:41:05,024 --> 01:41:08,027
The most beautiful beach in the world.
1654
01:41:08,131 --> 01:41:11,444
Maybe later, I'll show you
the Cove of Enchantment?
1655
01:41:11,548 --> 01:41:13,136
No, you can take Randy.
1656
01:41:13,239 --> 01:41:16,898
Remember, you are
my platonic man friend.
1657
01:41:17,001 --> 01:41:20,039
Platonic? I like the sound of that.
1658
01:41:20,143 --> 01:41:22,800
Not sure what it means,
but I like the sound of it.
1659
01:41:22,904 --> 01:41:25,113
Here you go, Randy.
1660
01:41:26,873 --> 01:41:29,186
- My dear.
- You are an angel. Thank you.
1661
01:41:29,842 --> 01:41:31,257
How did you know?
1662
01:41:43,166 --> 01:41:45,961
- Nice way to end a book tour, right?
- Mm-hmm.
1663
01:41:46,514 --> 01:41:48,343
Um...
1664
01:41:48,447 --> 01:41:52,692
You know, I have a phrase I like to
use in moments like these, actually.
1665
01:41:52,796 --> 01:41:54,038
Um...
1666
01:41:55,523 --> 01:41:56,938
Quid deinde?
1667
01:41:58,077 --> 01:42:01,253
It's Latin. It means,
uh, "What's next?"
1668
01:42:03,151 --> 01:42:04,670
Quid cogitas?
1669
01:42:04,773 --> 01:42:06,154
Mmm.
1670
01:42:06,879 --> 01:42:08,052
Buca di Beppo.
1671
01:42:11,470 --> 01:42:13,127
- Yeah. I know zero other Latin.
- No. Yes.
1672
01:42:13,230 --> 01:42:16,164
I looked it up for this
moment right now.
1673
01:42:16,992 --> 01:42:19,133
So, what does come next?
1674
01:42:19,236 --> 01:42:21,721
- How would you write this?
- I don't know.
1675
01:42:21,825 --> 01:42:24,379
- How would you write it?
- Do we really want me to write this?
1676
01:42:24,483 --> 01:42:26,830
- Just try. Take a stab at it.
- Okay. I'll write it.
1677
01:42:26,933 --> 01:42:28,280
Okay.
1678
01:42:28,383 --> 01:42:31,386
"We were... They were,
uh... standing on a beach."
1679
01:42:31,490 --> 01:42:33,423
Sets the stage for the audience.
They know where we are.
1680
01:42:33,526 --> 01:42:35,321
You're already laughing.
Why are you laughing at me?
1681
01:42:35,425 --> 01:42:37,220
- I'm not laughing. I'm smiling.
- You are.
1682
01:42:37,323 --> 01:42:41,327
"There are palm trees above a brown
1683
01:42:42,190 --> 01:42:44,813
bark-like hair of the maiden.
1684
01:42:44,917 --> 01:42:46,781
"There is a dead jellyfish..."
1685
01:42:46,884 --> 01:42:49,335
All you're doing is describing what
you're actually seeing right now.
1686
01:42:49,439 --> 01:42:52,269
"He's nervous because
he really likes her."
1687
01:42:53,132 --> 01:42:55,169
It's nice writing.
1688
01:42:55,272 --> 01:42:56,584
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
1689
01:42:56,687 --> 01:42:57,792
I'll keep going.
1690
01:42:57,895 --> 01:42:59,483
"He looked deep in her eyes."
1691
01:42:59,587 --> 01:43:03,038
The only thing that could compare
to the pulse of that ocean
1692
01:43:03,832 --> 01:43:04,902
"was the throbbing in the..."
1693
01:43:05,006 --> 01:43:08,112
- Okay, no, you can't throb.
- Why not?
1694
01:43:08,216 --> 01:43:09,942
Can't come out of
the gate with a throb.
1695
01:43:10,045 --> 01:43:12,358
- You throb all the time.
- I don't come out of the gate with it.
1696
01:43:12,462 --> 01:43:14,360
- You have to earn the throb.
- Who made you the queen of throb?
1697
01:43:14,464 --> 01:43:18,157
It's usually a chapter four thing. You
want it brought up appropriately in four.
1698
01:43:18,261 --> 01:43:20,366
I think you throb in all
the chapters. "Pulsating."
1699
01:43:20,470 --> 01:43:22,403
It's a precursor to throb.
1700
01:43:22,506 --> 01:43:24,612
- "Undulating."
- You just jumped to five.
1701
01:43:24,715 --> 01:43:27,580
- How 'bout they just kiss? Why not?
- Just like a regular kiss?
1702
01:43:27,684 --> 01:43:29,548
Yeah. Like a
beginning-of-the-chapter kiss.
1703
01:43:29,651 --> 01:43:31,239
I'm good at starting...
1704
01:43:35,105 --> 01:43:36,589
How was that? Any notes?
1705
01:43:37,349 --> 01:43:40,731
Very good first chapter attempt.
1706
01:45:05,989 --> 01:45:07,473
Psst!
1707
01:45:08,129 --> 01:45:09,613
Psst.
1708
01:45:10,580 --> 01:45:11,581
Psst.
1709
01:45:13,652 --> 01:45:14,618
Mother...
1710
01:45:14,722 --> 01:45:16,448
You were dead.
1711
01:45:16,551 --> 01:45:19,416
Your brains came out of your
face and hit the back of my throat.
1712
01:45:19,520 --> 01:45:22,074
- He was in my mouth.
- Don't say he was in your mouth.
1713
01:45:22,177 --> 01:45:23,800
- I could taste you.
- Don't ever say that.
1714
01:45:23,903 --> 01:45:29,081
We only use 10% of our brain,
so I just switched to another 10%.
1715
01:45:29,184 --> 01:45:32,015
So, you're okay?
1716
01:45:32,118 --> 01:45:33,810
One hundred percent.
1717
01:45:33,913 --> 01:45:35,398
Meaning 10%.
1718
01:45:35,501 --> 01:45:37,261
We thought you were dead.
1719
01:45:37,365 --> 01:45:40,092
Naturally, I have some anger
issues I need to let go of.
1720
01:45:40,195 --> 01:45:42,543
- Of course.
- And resentment.
1721
01:45:44,441 --> 01:45:45,787
So good to see you, man.
1722
01:45:45,891 --> 01:45:47,962
Okay, let's keep the chatter down.
1723
01:45:48,065 --> 01:45:52,449
We're closing our eyes and
reconnecting to our breath.
1724
01:45:53,519 --> 01:45:54,624
Great.
1725
01:45:55,452 --> 01:45:56,453
Great.
131215
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