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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
2
00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:15,891
A scarf. Cool.
3
00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:19,228
-Bumbercatch, did you make this?
-Yeah, man, knitting soothes me.
4
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:22,648
Sorry.
I didn't know everyone was doing booze.
5
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,942
Nah, mate. Cheers! This is great.
6
00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:28,362
I can wrap it around my booze.
7
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,697
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas, Colin.
8
00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:40,374
Dani Rojas, approach.
9
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,042
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
10
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,878
May your Secret Santa reveal himself.
11
00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:48,966
Ooh!
12
00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:51,969
And more booze!
13
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,804
All right. Let's see here.
14
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:58,475
Aw. Nate, is this a photo of you and me
after our first win?
15
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:00,227
-Yeah.
-Thanks, buddy. I appreciate it.
16
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:01,562
Look at that.
17
00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:05,065
"Ted, thank you for everything
you've done for me. Nathan."
18
00:01:05,147 --> 00:01:07,943
-Aw!
-Aw. What a lovely inscription,
19
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:10,529
that you wrote completely
over my head, face and body.
20
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,949
-Sorry.
21
00:01:16,869 --> 00:01:20,831
Secret Santa's a fun new tradition.
As is a half-day for Christmas.
22
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,749
Well, I think we gotta be responsible.
23
00:01:22,833 --> 00:01:24,710
We gotta save our legs
for tomorrow's big game.
24
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,295
So, to responsibility.
25
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:28,797
-Being responsible.
-Responsibility.
26
00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:32,217
And if we get this Boxing Day win,
we'll finally have more wins than losses.
27
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,847
Coach, what are you doing
the rest of the day?
28
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,515
I'm just spending it with my family.
29
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,268
I finally make enough money
to buy something nice for my dad.
30
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,520
He can be very tricky to shop for.
31
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,856
Oh, he's one of them fellas
that buys everything for himself, huh?
32
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,317
Oh, I wish. No, he just hates everything.
33
00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:50,569
What about you, Coach?
34
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:54,865
Uh, Jane and I are going to a pagan
Christmas ritual at Stonehenge.
35
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,825
What? I thought you two broke up.
36
00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,703
We did, but we got the tickets
before we broke up.
37
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,997
So, we're going as friends.
38
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,916
Mmm, that's gonna be, uh...
39
00:02:05,083 --> 00:02:07,586
What about you, Keeley?
What are you guys getting into?
40
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:10,631
Roy and I are celebrating a new tradition
that I'm calling "Sexy Christmas."
41
00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:11,715
Ooh!
42
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,134
It's not gonna be like that.
It's gonna be a swinging--
43
00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:16,720
Ooh!
-A swinging Sinatra,
44
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,556
Vegas-y type Christmas for adults
where we get all dressed up,
45
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,392
and we sip on martinis, sit by the fire.
46
00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:24,728
And then it's gonna be like that.
47
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:28,232
-Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
48
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,442
-Awooga!
49
00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:33,779
-You're talking about Sexy Christmas.
-Maybe.
50
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:34,863
Hey, boss.
51
00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:36,657
-Let me get you a drink, yeah?
-Ooh, yes. Thank you.
52
00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:38,200
How you spending
the rest of Santa's birthday?
53
00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,285
I'm going to a Christmas party
at a friend's house.
54
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:42,621
What friend's that?
First and last name, please.
55
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:43,705
Elton John.
56
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:46,250
-Whoa.
-Holy shit!
57
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,877
Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer,
Prancer and Vixen.
58
00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:52,840
Yes. Yes.
It's actually rather lovely.
59
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:55,717
We just sing carols around Elton's piano,
60
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:59,096
and hopefully Rachel Weisz and Daniel
Craig will do their puppet show again.
61
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,265
Mmm, that sounds
like double-O heaven to me.
62
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,600
-What about you, Higgins?
63
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:06,270
Ah, the Higginses will be opening
Christmas presents
64
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:09,648
and then hosting an open house
for players who don't have family in town.
65
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,149
Aw!
66
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:14,778
Something we do every year.
We usually get about, um, two.
67
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,948
It's really nice.
You're more than welcome, Ted.
68
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,618
I appreciate that offer, Higgie Smalls.
But I am all good, baby, baby.
69
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,954
This is the first Christmas
the family's away from each other,
70
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:27,124
so, you know, once Henry wakes up here,
in about an hour,
71
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,502
he wants us to open presents
and spend all day together on FaceTime.
72
00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:34,089
It's gonna be a lovely afternoon
of yuletide cheer in two dimensions.
73
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:38,302
-Hey. Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
74
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,429
-Merry Christmas, Keeley.
-Merry Christmas.
75
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,055
How you doin'? What can I help you with?
76
00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,391
Have you got anythin'
that I can give as a present?
77
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,393
Did you not buy a Secret Santa gift?
78
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,769
I didn't know I had to.
79
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:51,732
The email said "Secret Santa."
I didn't wanna ruin the surprise, did I?
80
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:54,651
-Oh, Jamie.
-You know what, hold on here.
81
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,737
Yep, here you go.
Higgins, look alive.
82
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:07,247
-What are you doin'? No, no.
-Here comes a little magic pixie dust.
83
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,753
Whoo!
There's your Christmas miracle.
84
00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:22,179
God bless me... everyone.
85
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,349
-Wow.
86
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,153
Whoo.
87
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,367
Okay.
88
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:28,787
Yep.
89
00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:32,165
Merry Sexy Christmas!
90
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,335
Phoebe.
91
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,257
Didn't get my text, did ya?
92
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,341
Uh...
93
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,719
What did it say?
94
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,262
My sister got called to surgery,
95
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,556
so Phoebe's got to spend
Sexy Christmas with us.
96
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,474
Oh, right. Okay.
97
00:05:50,893 --> 00:05:54,688
Phoebe, I'm sorry you can't spend
Christmas with your mum.
98
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,941
-But we'll have fun together, yeah?
Please just leave me alone.
99
00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:00,360
Apparently,
she's been like this all week.
100
00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:02,029
Won't talk about it.
101
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:05,908
I am sorry. I know this does make
Christmas significantly less sexy.
102
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:08,160
Oh, don't worry about it.
We can do Sexy Boxing Day.
103
00:06:08,243 --> 00:06:10,746
Can't. I've got a match all day. Working.
104
00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:13,123
I can't do the day after.
105
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,292
Sexy December 28th.
106
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:18,253
-28th. Sexiest of all the days.
-Yeah.
107
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:23,342
-Holy fucking shit. You look incredible.
108
00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:31,975
Ooh!
109
00:06:33,644 --> 00:06:36,897
♪ Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun! Dun-dun-dun! ♪
110
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,983
♪ Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun! Dun! ♪
111
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,402
Ooh! What could it be?
112
00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:44,112
Clearly the surfboard I asked for.
113
00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:48,116
Rip it, rip it, rip it, rip it!
114
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,118
Ooh!
Yay!
115
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:51,995
Ah, perfect!
116
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,330
Okay.
117
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:56,250
Guests arriving in an hour,
time to clean up.
118
00:06:57,543 --> 00:06:58,669
I'll get it!
119
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:00,504
Ooh.
120
00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:05,175
Merry Christmas, and welcome to our home.
121
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:07,678
-Oh, hello!
-Hey!
122
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,763
Sorry. I know I'm early,
but I was in the neighborhood
123
00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:13,267
-and I really need to use the restroom.
-Oh, no, no. Sam, come in. Come in.
124
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,935
Thank you.
125
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:17,437
Come through.
It's a bit of a mess, but...
126
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,773
-Yeah.
Oh, wow.
127
00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:22,317
Oh, yeah. To hold us off until dinner
we have mince pies,
128
00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:25,404
cheese and crackers, pigs in blankets,
mulled wine. All the favorites.
129
00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,991
So, uh, Sam, back home, what does
Christmas make you think of?
130
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:30,325
Colonization.
131
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,370
Of course.
132
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,207
Uh, but I'm more than happy
to celebrate the day with you.
133
00:07:37,291 --> 00:07:40,252
Uh, back home in Lagos,
we have good friends who celebrate,
134
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:43,255
and they always eat jollof rice
and goat meat, so I made you some.
135
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:44,548
Oh.
136
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:45,966
But I used chicken.
137
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:47,634
Thank God.
138
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:51,972
Mr. Obisanya, it was so cool
what you done with that Dubai Air logo.
139
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,140
Fuck those guys.
140
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:56,977
Yes, fuck 'em.
141
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:04,359
-Whoo!
142
00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:06,320
I'm really sorry,
but where's your restroom?
143
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:07,946
Right. Of course. Yes. Back through here.
144
00:08:08,030 --> 00:08:09,364
Uh, to your left there, Sam.
145
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:14,620
Okay. All right. Now it's my turn.
146
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,246
Let's see what we got here.
147
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,666
Did you wrap these yourself?
'Cause this is very well done.
148
00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:21,627
Uh-oh. Oh, boy.
149
00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,670
Is this what I think it is? Hold on here.
150
00:08:23,754 --> 00:08:25,422
Oh! Wait a minute.
151
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:28,425
Is this a tiny dartboard
or did I become a giant?
152
00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:30,636
-It's a mini dartboard. Do you like it?
-Oh.
153
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:34,264
That's very smart. No, I don't like it.
I love it! Thank you.
154
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,558
All right, your turn. Come on.
Open up the big one.
155
00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:38,101
I wanna see what you think.
156
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:42,981
-A drone? Dad, you got me a drone!
-Wh--
157
00:08:43,065 --> 00:08:45,609
I know. How irresponsible is that of me?
158
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,320
Considering all the issues
with privacy these days.
159
00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,864
And you know what? Mrs. Claus charged
that puppy up last night.
160
00:08:50,948 --> 00:08:53,408
-So, you should be good to go.
-Can I try it out now?
161
00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:55,786
Heck yeah! Yeah, it's no fun
just keeping it in the box.
162
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,663
-Great!
-Oh, boy. Okay. Whoa, whoa.
163
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:59,706
-Be careful. Easy.
-Mom, here.
164
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:02,084
Oh, you lost him.
165
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,461
Yeah, no. That's gonna happen.
Should have got him socks.
166
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:07,297
Sorry, Ted. He's just so excited.
167
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,049
-No, that's okay. I get it.
Nice!
168
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:10,259
How are you?
169
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:14,137
Oh, I'm-- I'm good. Yeah.
You know, just plugging away over here.
170
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:17,266
We got a big match tomorrow
so everybody's focused on that, and--
171
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:19,268
Oh, Henry, careful!
No, not in the house!
172
00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:20,352
Sorry, Ted.
173
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:24,898
Uh, it's okay. Uh, you go.
Go have fun, and send me photos, okay?
174
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:26,900
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas, Ted.
175
00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:28,277
Uh-oh.
176
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,612
Henry, careful! The baseboards!
Oh, geez. I--
177
00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:46,545
Shoot.
178
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:56,513
Phoebe, whatever it is,
we just wanna try and make it better.
179
00:09:57,514 --> 00:10:01,101
What have you got to be sad about?
Did one of the Paw Patrol dogs die?
180
00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:07,524
Listen, Phoebe, problems,
they're like mushrooms, yeah?
181
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:10,319
The longer you leave them in the dark,
the bigger they get.
182
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,321
A boy at school was mean to me.
183
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:14,448
What did he do?
184
00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:25,083
"Merry Christmas, Phoebe.
I got you something you desperately need.
185
00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:26,752
Your Secret Santa, Bernard."
186
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,295
Who the fuck is Bernard?
187
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:33,509
Why did Bernard get you toothpaste
and mouthwash for Christmas, babe?
188
00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:36,762
Because he told everyone
my breath is rancid.
189
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:38,472
Right, where does Bernard live?
190
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:41,350
Roy, we are not going
to go beat up a little kid.
191
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:42,851
Why not?
192
00:10:42,935 --> 00:10:45,562
Why do you think? Fucking knobhead.
193
00:10:46,355 --> 00:10:47,356
Phoebe, listen.
194
00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:50,192
Some kids are just mean
little dickheads, yeah?
195
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:53,862
I bet your breath doesn't smell that bad.
Come on.
196
00:10:55,364 --> 00:10:56,823
Phoebe, it's me.
197
00:10:56,907 --> 00:10:58,784
Let me have a smell. Come on.
198
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,586
Oh, wow.
199
00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:11,880
Oi! She feels bad enough!
200
00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:14,258
I'm so sorry. I really tried.
201
00:11:14,758 --> 00:11:16,301
It cannot be that bad.
202
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,137
-Go away!
-Phoebe.
203
00:11:19,221 --> 00:11:20,514
I'm a monster.
204
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:23,559
I've spent the last 20 years
in locker rooms with men.
205
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:26,436
I promise you, I've smelled worse.
206
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:27,521
I don't know.
207
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:29,022
-Come on.
208
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:41,535
I think you might be dying.
209
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:46,206
Sweetheart, listen. That is not like
"I forgot to brush my teeth" bad.
210
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:49,001
-Or like, "I ate onions" bad.
211
00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:52,087
That's actually medically bad.
Which means it's not your fault.
212
00:11:52,671 --> 00:11:55,340
-Come here.
Right. I'm gonna sort this.
213
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:57,551
Put your coats on.
214
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:58,760
Where are we going?
215
00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:00,596
We're going to
my stupid posh neighborhood,
216
00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:02,347
and we're gonna start knocking on doors.
217
00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:05,726
And if we don't find a dentist
in 10 houses, you each get £1,000.
218
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,354
-Let's go get our coats.
-Yeah!
219
00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:13,817
Quick, quick, quick, quick!
220
00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:15,736
Run, run, run, run, run!
221
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:20,449
Did Santa get you
something good this morning?
222
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:22,951
It's okay. I know there's no Santa.
223
00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:24,328
But of course there's a Santa.
224
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:28,624
There's no way he can deliver presents
to everyone in the world in one night!
225
00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:31,835
Ah, but it's not the whole world
in one night.
226
00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:35,631
It's the whole world split up
into 24 different time zones.
227
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:40,260
You see, Santa's true power is not
his speed but his endurance.
228
00:12:40,344 --> 00:12:41,720
-Wow.
229
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:43,889
He got me a bicycle.
230
00:12:43,972 --> 00:12:45,974
Brilliant.
231
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,185
Hey!
-Merry Christmas!
232
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,937
-Feliz Navidad!
-Merry Christmas.
233
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:55,984
Look at that! Hello! Thank you for coming.
234
00:12:56,068 --> 00:12:58,946
Oh, of course. My mother was very happy
I wouldn't be alone on Christmas
235
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:01,698
and insisted I bring
a traditional Mexican ponche!
236
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:03,909
-Ooh!
-If you want to be a little bit cheeky,
237
00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:05,369
you can put some tequila in it.
238
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,914
Dani, it already smells
like it has tequila in it.
239
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,290
Yes, this one is pre-cheeked.
240
00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:12,084
Hey! What a turnout! Welcome! Welcome!
241
00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:13,252
-Cool!
-Hello.
242
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:14,586
A Montlaur family tradition.
243
00:13:14,670 --> 00:13:17,923
Uh, we have foie gras, champagne,
and a fancy stinky cheese.
244
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:19,716
-Ooh!
245
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,760
-And this time you try it.
-Okay.
246
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:23,762
-Hey!
-I brought fried chicken.
247
00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:26,056
Ah, is that a Christmas tradition
in Holland?
248
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:27,891
No.
249
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:28,976
Oh.
250
00:13:29,059 --> 00:13:31,061
-Yo!
-Hey!
251
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,813
I just walked into your neighbor's house!
252
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:34,273
-Oh, my God. What's up?
253
00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:36,191
Yes! Let's get drunk.
254
00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:16,690
Help!
255
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:22,196
Help! Help!
256
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:31,079
Hey, boss!
257
00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:33,957
How's FaceTime Christmas with Henry going?
258
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:37,503
Well, I lost him
to an overpriced guilt gift.
259
00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:39,421
Hubris, thy name is Ted.
260
00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:42,424
Grab a coat. You're coming with me.
261
00:14:42,508 --> 00:14:43,509
Yes, ma'am.
262
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:47,554
And wear the hat. It's a nice touch.
263
00:14:47,638 --> 00:14:48,639
Okay.
264
00:14:53,227 --> 00:14:55,395
-Where are we going?
265
00:14:55,479 --> 00:14:58,232
You know what? Don't tell me.
Don't tell me. That's all right.
266
00:14:59,483 --> 00:15:02,528
Actually, hold on. We're not going
to Elton John's holiday party, are we?
267
00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:05,030
'Cause if so, I'm gonna be
severely underdressed.
268
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,823
I could run right back upstairs
269
00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:09,493
and pop on this Donald Duck suit
I bring with me everywhere.
270
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:13,121
You look perfect, don't worry.
-All right. I appreciate it.
271
00:15:13,205 --> 00:15:14,206
Oh.
272
00:15:15,666 --> 00:15:19,670
♪ Last Christmas I gave you my heart ♪
273
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:24,800
♪ But the very next day you gave it away ♪
274
00:15:24,883 --> 00:15:26,385
[buskers, together] ♪ This year... ♪
275
00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,470
I love the buskers y'all got over here.
276
00:15:29,054 --> 00:15:31,223
Always reminds me of that movie, Once.
You ever see that?
277
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:32,766
-Ah, great film.
-Yeah.
278
00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:34,977
Yeah, I loved Once so much,
I saw it twice.
279
00:15:35,561 --> 00:15:37,896
♪ I gave you my heart ♪
280
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:40,107
♪ But the very next day ♪
281
00:15:40,190 --> 00:15:42,818
♪ You gave it away ♪
282
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:47,197
♪ This year, to save me from tears ♪
283
00:15:47,281 --> 00:15:50,158
♪ I'll give it to someone special ♪
284
00:15:50,242 --> 00:15:51,285
Oh, shit.
285
00:15:54,288 --> 00:15:57,249
I guess that's what I get
for taking a tinkle next to John Holmes.
286
00:15:57,332 --> 00:15:59,501
-Yeesh.
Come on.
287
00:15:59,585 --> 00:16:01,295
-Merry Christmas. Thank you.
-Merry Christmas, y'all.
288
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,759
-You drove yourself, huh?
289
00:16:07,843 --> 00:16:10,053
-That's a Christmas miracle.
-Oi, wanker.
290
00:16:10,554 --> 00:16:11,889
Merry Christmas.
291
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:13,307
Right back at ya, sir.
292
00:16:14,349 --> 00:16:16,059
Did he just call you a wanker?
293
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,686
Yeah, it's an inside joke.
294
00:16:18,270 --> 00:16:19,521
Mostly inside of him.
295
00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:36,830
Whoa, Roy Kent!
296
00:16:36,914 --> 00:16:37,915
You gonna sing?
297
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:41,543
No, we're not carolers.
Is your mum or dad a dentist?
298
00:16:41,627 --> 00:16:43,462
No, they're lawyers.
299
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:45,589
Figures. Come on.
300
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:46,924
Thank you.
301
00:16:48,342 --> 00:16:51,011
Uncle Roy, this is embarrassing.
302
00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:54,723
This isn't embarrassing.
303
00:16:55,641 --> 00:16:59,561
Embarrassing is me eating
so much ice cream at a birthday party,
304
00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:03,148
knowing I'm no good with dairy,
that I poop my pants on the bus.
305
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:06,944
-Finish your story.
-Three weeks ago.
306
00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:10,656
Sweetheart, none of this is your fault.
307
00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:13,032
And the sooner we figure it out,
the better, yeah?
308
00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:16,828
You pooped your pants? Roy Kent?
309
00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:19,248
Yeah, so?
310
00:17:20,457 --> 00:17:22,291
I do too, sometimes.
311
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:26,505
Well... let's both try
and knock that off, shall we?
312
00:17:27,673 --> 00:17:29,091
If you can do it, I can do it.
313
00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:32,553
-Cool?
-Cool.
314
00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:37,057
Merry Christmas!
315
00:17:37,558 --> 00:17:38,767
-Bye!
-Come on.
316
00:17:42,688 --> 00:17:45,107
Go, go, go, go, go!
317
00:17:50,571 --> 00:17:52,114
-We're not gonna make it.
318
00:17:52,197 --> 00:17:54,324
Tell my incredibly
beautiful wife I love her.
319
00:17:54,408 --> 00:17:57,327
I'm not gonna do that,
'cause you'll tell her yourself.
320
00:17:57,411 --> 00:18:00,664
Then you're gonna hook me up
with her identical, beautiful twin sister.
321
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:01,957
Good luck, mi amigo.
322
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,375
Bonne chance, mon ami.
323
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,339
Eat Nerf!
324
00:18:38,911 --> 00:18:40,370
-Richard.
-Hmm?
325
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:43,582
Why did you bring a date
to the team Christmas party?
326
00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:47,044
The French believe that having
a beautiful woman around
327
00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:49,046
is always a good thing.
328
00:18:51,507 --> 00:18:53,967
That was not true
with the Helter Skelter murders.
329
00:18:57,846 --> 00:18:59,264
Hey!
330
00:18:59,348 --> 00:19:01,016
-Cheers, darling.
-Cheers.
331
00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:04,311
Hey!
-You've become quite popular, Leslie.
332
00:19:04,394 --> 00:19:06,647
This is by far the most people
we've ever had.
333
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,690
Merry Christmas!
-Hey!
334
00:19:08,774 --> 00:19:10,359
-Welcome, guys!
-Merry Christmas!
335
00:19:10,442 --> 00:19:12,528
Well, at least we've got
plenty of food and drink.
336
00:19:12,611 --> 00:19:13,862
-Yeah.
337
00:19:13,946 --> 00:19:16,532
But, um, where are we all
gonna sit down and eat it?
338
00:19:55,279 --> 00:19:59,408
Mom! There are two white people
at the door and they're smiling!
339
00:20:00,909 --> 00:20:03,203
-Can I help you?
-Good afternoon.
340
00:20:03,287 --> 00:20:07,916
We work for Santa Claus,
and I believe he received this.
341
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,001
My letter.
342
00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:13,088
Yes, we're terribly sorry that
your presents didn't arrive last night.
343
00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:17,634
But as elves we've been personally
directed by Mr. and Mrs. Claus
344
00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:21,597
to deliver your presents this afternoon
and to apologize for the delay.
345
00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:23,473
Am I forgetting anything?
346
00:20:24,850 --> 00:20:28,228
Well, you see what happened was
Rudolph's nose shined so brightly
347
00:20:28,312 --> 00:20:30,272
that it rendered me
unable to see, and I was--
348
00:20:30,355 --> 00:20:32,232
I was, uh, delirious for several minutes.
349
00:20:32,316 --> 00:20:35,694
And I ended up putting this
whole sack of goodies on the wrong sled.
350
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:38,155
I mean, you know, ain't that nuts?
351
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:39,990
Uh, anyway, this bad boy's been
around the world
352
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,326
at least twice over the past day so, uh...
353
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:44,494
Yeah, you smell that?
That's the Himalayas right there.
354
00:20:44,578 --> 00:20:45,829
-That's all for you.
355
00:20:45,913 --> 00:20:47,706
Am I getting notes of Beijing?
356
00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:48,916
Oh, I bet you are, yeah.
357
00:20:48,999 --> 00:20:50,667
Thank you.
358
00:20:50,751 --> 00:20:52,586
-You're so welcome.
359
00:20:52,669 --> 00:20:54,671
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas.
360
00:20:57,341 --> 00:21:00,427
-On to the next?
-Heck yeah.
361
00:21:30,499 --> 00:21:34,628
-Hey, guys! Amazing! Amazing!
-Hey!
362
00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:39,258
House number ten, Uncle Roy.
363
00:21:39,341 --> 00:21:41,218
Oi, Phoebs. We can't lose.
364
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:45,222
Either we find out why your breath
is so rancid, or we get £1,000!
365
00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:48,475
Each!
That's like a month worth of swear words.
366
00:21:48,559 --> 00:21:50,519
Hold on, I've gotta fix my knee.
367
00:21:54,940 --> 00:21:57,150
Whoa! Are you Roy Kent?
368
00:21:57,234 --> 00:21:58,986
Yeah. Are you a dentist?
369
00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:00,112
Yeah.
370
00:22:00,696 --> 00:22:01,822
Can we come in?
371
00:22:01,905 --> 00:22:04,783
Thank you so much.
This will only take a second.
372
00:22:04,867 --> 00:22:06,285
Your house is lovely!
373
00:22:18,005 --> 00:22:23,760
Well, congratulations, Phoebe.
That is some spectacularly bad breath.
374
00:22:23,844 --> 00:22:25,179
Thank you.
375
00:22:25,262 --> 00:22:28,599
Have you been under
any unusual stress lately?
376
00:22:28,682 --> 00:22:31,351
Not if I do my breathing exercises.
377
00:22:32,144 --> 00:22:33,478
Have you been smoking?
378
00:22:33,562 --> 00:22:34,646
No!
379
00:22:35,939 --> 00:22:37,441
Any new medications?
380
00:22:38,275 --> 00:22:39,985
Just my antihistamines.
381
00:22:40,068 --> 00:22:41,904
They got a new cat. She's allergic.
382
00:22:41,987 --> 00:22:43,697
Her name is Dauphine.
383
00:22:43,780 --> 00:22:48,368
My mum said that we rescued her,
but I'd like to think that she rescued us.
384
00:22:48,452 --> 00:22:50,704
Ah, well, that's it then, Phoebe.
385
00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:55,250
Antihistamines dry out the mouth,
and when saliva production is reduced,
386
00:22:55,334 --> 00:22:58,545
then the environment
for odor-producing bacteria thrives.
387
00:22:58,629 --> 00:23:00,506
And thrive it has.
388
00:23:00,589 --> 00:23:04,051
Might be time
to say au revoir to Dauphine.
389
00:23:04,134 --> 00:23:05,511
-No!
-Come on, Phoebe.
390
00:23:05,594 --> 00:23:08,722
-You've only had her a month.
-But we're soul mates.
391
00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:13,644
Phoebe, no one is gonna make you
get rid of Dauphine. Okay?
392
00:23:13,727 --> 00:23:16,396
Because that would be
an insane thing for your uncle,
393
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:21,193
who loves you and
who is not a monster, to suggest.
394
00:23:22,194 --> 00:23:24,446
And I'm sure Dr. Rogers
has another solution
395
00:23:24,530 --> 00:23:29,034
because she's nice and smart,
and science is real, and it's Christmas!
396
00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:30,744
-Right?
-Yeah.
397
00:23:32,162 --> 00:23:33,163
Thank you!
398
00:23:33,747 --> 00:23:35,749
Yo! Can I get an ussie?
399
00:23:36,750 --> 00:23:38,085
Fine.
400
00:23:38,168 --> 00:23:40,087
Not with you, mate. With Keeley.
401
00:23:40,170 --> 00:23:43,048
I mean, you're a legend at Chelsea
but shit at Richmond.
402
00:23:43,131 --> 00:23:46,301
But Keeley Jones was a seminal figure
throughout my teenage years.
403
00:23:46,385 --> 00:23:49,805
How about this, why don't we all
take a picture together?
404
00:23:49,888 --> 00:23:51,265
By the tree.
405
00:23:51,348 --> 00:23:52,349
Wicked!
406
00:23:56,478 --> 00:23:57,563
Mmm.
407
00:24:00,607 --> 00:24:02,818
Un, deux, trois.
408
00:24:03,694 --> 00:24:05,362
Oh! Oh, you brought jollof.
409
00:24:06,196 --> 00:24:10,075
-With goat meat? Ah, yes!
-Original.
410
00:24:10,158 --> 00:24:11,535
You want to try some goat?
411
00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:13,245
Okay. Are you sure?
412
00:24:15,372 --> 00:24:16,373
Oh, no!
413
00:24:19,710 --> 00:24:21,378
-Oh, no!
-Mmm!
414
00:24:22,254 --> 00:24:23,547
-Yes!
-No!
415
00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:24,631
I never win.
416
00:24:31,847 --> 00:24:32,848
Cheers.
417
00:24:36,268 --> 00:24:38,228
-Merry Christmas.
-Thank you.
418
00:24:38,312 --> 00:24:39,521
You're welcome.
419
00:24:39,605 --> 00:24:42,900
See, doesn't it feel better to solve
the problem than go beat up a little kid?
420
00:24:43,734 --> 00:24:44,818
Mmm.
421
00:24:46,945 --> 00:24:49,698
Oi, you got any poster board and markers?
422
00:24:52,326 --> 00:24:53,827
For another hundred quid.
423
00:24:56,997 --> 00:24:58,498
Cheers.
424
00:25:02,252 --> 00:25:05,464
That was pretty dang neat.
Thanks for letting me tag along.
425
00:25:05,547 --> 00:25:07,341
Oh, my pleasure.
426
00:25:07,424 --> 00:25:11,929
-How long have you been doing this?
For years, but then Rupert...
427
00:25:13,430 --> 00:25:18,018
You know, I should have done it last year,
but I just sat by myself instead.
428
00:25:18,101 --> 00:25:21,146
Drinking and plotting horrible things.
429
00:25:21,230 --> 00:25:22,439
Oh, yeah? Like what?
430
00:25:24,733 --> 00:25:28,153
Look, I know all too well
how stunningly shitty
431
00:25:28,237 --> 00:25:30,864
the first Christmas
after you get divorced can be.
432
00:25:30,948 --> 00:25:32,824
I just wanted to make sure you're okay.
433
00:25:32,908 --> 00:25:34,952
Yeah, well, I am now, you know.
434
00:25:35,035 --> 00:25:37,913
A lot better than I would have been
if I just drank whiskey all day
435
00:25:37,996 --> 00:25:40,624
and watched
It's a Wonderful Life on repeat.
436
00:25:40,707 --> 00:25:43,126
-That could have gone dark.
437
00:25:43,669 --> 00:25:46,380
So, uh, what now?
438
00:25:46,463 --> 00:25:48,590
Oh, I figured you could just
drop me off at home
439
00:25:48,674 --> 00:25:51,677
and then go get all decked out
for Sir Elton's party.
440
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,846
Ah, I might not go.
441
00:25:53,929 --> 00:25:54,930
Really?
442
00:25:55,013 --> 00:25:57,766
You're willing to miss a puppet show
by Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz?
443
00:25:57,850 --> 00:26:02,062
-'Cause that sounds like a lot of fun.
-Don't get me wrong, they are incredible.
444
00:26:02,145 --> 00:26:05,190
But all I really want to see
those two do together is fuck.
445
00:26:05,274 --> 00:26:08,360
Yeah, no. I get that. Yeah.
You got any other ideas then?
446
00:26:08,443 --> 00:26:10,988
-You'll see.
-Huh? Oh, you want me to drive?
447
00:26:11,488 --> 00:26:14,449
-The steering wheel's on this side.
-Right, I'm the one with the accent here.
448
00:26:14,533 --> 00:26:15,868
-I forgot. Sorry.
-Mmm.
449
00:26:19,371 --> 00:26:20,581
Who is it?
450
00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:25,335
It's carol singers.
451
00:26:25,419 --> 00:26:28,422
Just give 'em a quid
and tell 'em to bugger off.
452
00:27:01,079 --> 00:27:02,456
I'm sorry.
453
00:27:14,176 --> 00:27:15,260
I'm sorry, Phoebe.
454
00:27:41,161 --> 00:27:43,247
I just wanna thank you all for coming.
455
00:27:43,914 --> 00:27:45,666
To the family Higgins!
456
00:27:49,795 --> 00:27:52,714
-You're gonna make me cry.
457
00:27:52,798 --> 00:27:56,969
-Um, to my lovely wife, Julie, my sons...
458
00:27:57,052 --> 00:28:01,348
To you and all your families
back in Lagos, Guadalajara,
459
00:28:01,431 --> 00:28:05,894
Groningen, Cordon, Montreal,
460
00:28:05,978 --> 00:28:09,064
Benin City, Harare, Kingston...
461
00:28:09,147 --> 00:28:10,190
Ya, man.
462
00:28:10,274 --> 00:28:11,817
...and Santa Cruz de la Sierra.
463
00:28:11,900 --> 00:28:15,320
Hear! Hear!
464
00:28:15,404 --> 00:28:17,531
I know you would have preferred
to have been with them,
465
00:28:17,614 --> 00:28:20,868
but it was truly an honor
to have you with us
466
00:28:20,951 --> 00:28:23,829
to share our traditions
and help make a few new ones.
467
00:28:24,955 --> 00:28:30,586
To the family we're born with
and to the family we make along the way.
468
00:28:30,669 --> 00:28:34,131
And most importantly to Richmond!
469
00:28:34,214 --> 00:28:36,341
To Richmond!
470
00:28:40,262 --> 00:28:42,306
What's happening outside?
I don't know.
471
00:28:56,236 --> 00:29:01,950
-♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ Christmas ♪
472
00:29:02,034 --> 00:29:05,495
-♪ The snow's coming down ♪
-♪ Christmas ♪
473
00:29:05,579 --> 00:29:09,208
-♪ I'm watching it fall ♪
-♪ Christmas ♪
474
00:29:09,291 --> 00:29:12,336
-♪ Lots of people around ♪
-♪ Christmas ♪
475
00:29:12,419 --> 00:29:15,047
♪ Baby, please come home ♪
476
00:29:15,130 --> 00:29:18,175
-♪ They're singing "Deck The Halls" ♪
477
00:29:18,258 --> 00:29:21,637
♪ But it ain't like Christmas at all ♪
478
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:25,182
♪ 'Cause I remember when you were here ♪
479
00:29:25,265 --> 00:29:29,728
-♪ And all the fun that we had last year ♪
-♪ Christmas ♪
480
00:29:29,811 --> 00:29:33,148
-♪ Pretty lights on the tree ♪
-♪ Christmas ♪
481
00:29:33,232 --> 00:29:36,193
-♪ I'm watching them shine ♪
-♪ Christmas ♪
482
00:29:36,276 --> 00:29:39,905
-♪ Oh, you should be here with me ♪
-♪ Christmas ♪
483
00:29:39,988 --> 00:29:42,616
-♪ Baby, please come home ♪
-♪ Christmas ♪
484
00:29:42,699 --> 00:29:43,825
Whoo!
485
00:29:43,909 --> 00:29:45,452
Ho ho ho ho!
486
00:29:47,663 --> 00:29:51,583
♪ Baby, please come home ♪
-♪ Christmas ♪
487
00:29:51,667 --> 00:29:55,754
-♪ Oh, whoo ♪
-♪ Christmas ♪
488
00:29:58,006 --> 00:30:01,301
♪ Oh, oh ♪
489
00:30:01,385 --> 00:30:04,805
♪ Baby, please come home ♪
490
00:30:04,888 --> 00:30:10,602
-♪ Baby, please, please ♪
-♪ Christmas ♪
491
00:30:10,686 --> 00:30:13,939
-♪ The church bells in town ♪
-♪ Christmas ♪
492
00:30:14,022 --> 00:30:16,984
♪ All ringing in song ♪
492
00:30:17,305 --> 00:31:17,628
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