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1
00:00:12,033 --> 00:00:14,267
PREVIOUSLY ON...
2
00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:17,600
BREE'S AFFAIR WITH HER
CONTRACTOR BROKE NEW GROUND.
3
00:00:17,633 --> 00:00:19,767
PERHAPS WE COULD
MAKE YOU DINNER.
LIKE A DATE?
4
00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:23,400
I CAN'T WAIT TILL I GROW UP
SO I CAN HAVE BEAUTIFUL THINGS.
5
00:00:23,433 --> 00:00:26,100
GABY DOTED ON HER
BIOLOGICAL DAUGHTER GRACE.
6
00:00:26,133 --> 00:00:28,067
(crying)
LOOKING WHO'S MISSING
HER BIG SISTER.
7
00:00:28,100 --> 00:00:31,733
LYNETTE HAD TOO MUCH
ON HER HANDS.
GET ME A NANNY.
8
00:00:31,767 --> 00:00:34,567
SUSAN FOUND THAT KEEPING
HER NEW JOB A SECRET...
9
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,367
(gasps)
MY PARTNERS ARE NOT
GONNA EAT THE COST.
10
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:38,833
$9,000?
11
00:00:38,867 --> 00:00:40,767
WAS GOING TO BE EXPENSIVE.
12
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:45,200
BUT HER SECRET
HAD ALREADY BEEN DISCOVERED.
13
00:00:50,333 --> 00:00:53,300
(Mary Alice) EMMA GRAHAM
WAS AN ORDINARY WOMAN.
14
00:00:53,333 --> 00:00:58,567
AND LIKE MOST ORDINARY WOMEN,
SHE HAD AN EXTRAORDINARY DREAM.
15
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:03,833
SHE WANTED HER HUSBAND TO KNOW
SHE WAS MORE THAN JUST A WIFE.
16
00:01:03,867 --> 00:01:06,167
SHE WANTED HER DAUGHTER
TO KNOW
17
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,067
SHE WAS MORE THAN JUST
A MOTHER.
18
00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:11,233
SHE WANTED HER NEIGHBORS
TO KNOW
19
00:01:11,267 --> 00:01:15,367
SHE WAS MORE THAN JUST
THE WOMAN WHO LIVED NEXT DOOR.
20
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,467
SO EMMA MADE A DECISION
21
00:01:17,500 --> 00:01:22,133
TO TURN HER DREAM
INTO REALITY.
22
00:01:22,167 --> 00:01:24,067
I WANNA DO A CABARET SHOW.
23
00:01:24,067 --> 00:01:25,533
I'LL NEED A BAND,
ORCHESTRATIONS,
24
00:01:25,567 --> 00:01:28,567
AND SOUND EQUIPMENT, AND YOU
ARE GONNA PAY FOR ALL OF IT.
25
00:01:30,633 --> 00:01:34,467
AND THAT IS HOW EMMA GRAHAM'S
FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS
26
00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:36,600
CAME TO GATHER
AT THE SMOKEHOUSE LOUNGE
27
00:01:36,633 --> 00:01:37,633
TWO WEEKS LATER.
28
00:01:37,667 --> 00:01:39,633
OH. YAHOO!
29
00:01:41,367 --> 00:01:43,200
***
30
00:01:43,233 --> 00:01:44,567
THEY WOULD SOON LEARN
31
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:48,200
EMMA GRAHAM
WASN'T SO ORDINARY AFTER ALL.
32
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:51,233
(playing smooth jazz)
33
00:01:54,433 --> 00:01:56,733
* TAKE A STEP BACK
34
00:01:56,767 --> 00:01:58,533
* TURN AROUND
35
00:01:58,567 --> 00:02:02,100
* LOOK AT THE WORLD
THAT YOU'VE LET DOWN *
36
00:02:02,133 --> 00:02:05,067
* MY, MY, SUCH A DISGRACE
37
00:02:05,067 --> 00:02:06,400
* THE DAMAGE IS DONE
38
00:02:06,433 --> 00:02:08,533
* YOU CAN'T REPLACE IT
39
00:02:08,567 --> 00:02:11,800
* THESE ARE THE THINGS
YOUR MIND WILL TELL YOU *
40
00:02:11,833 --> 00:02:13,367
* THESE ARE THE THINGS
41
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,300
* YOUR HEART WILL SAY
42
00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:18,633
* THESE ARE THE THOUGHTS
THAT LEAVE YOU HOPELESS *
43
00:02:18,667 --> 00:02:20,567
* THESE ARE THE TIMES YOU SAY
44
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:25,167
* THERE IS NO WAY, NO WAY,
NO WAY *
45
00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:28,500
***
46
00:02:28,533 --> 00:02:32,667
* BUT AS LONG AS
YOU ARE BREATHING *
47
00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:35,633
* YOU CAN START ALL OVER AGAIN
48
00:02:35,667 --> 00:02:39,267
* IF YOUR HEART'S BEATING
49
00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:42,633
* YOU CAN START ALL OVER AGAIN
50
00:02:42,667 --> 00:02:46,267
* GOOD-BYE, SORROW
51
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,833
YES, EMMA'S DREAM
OF SHARING HER TALENT
52
00:02:48,867 --> 00:02:50,433
HAD FINALLY COME TRUE.
53
00:02:50,467 --> 00:02:55,233
UNFORTUNATELY, THE HIGH NOTE
THAT ENDED THE EVENING...
54
00:02:55,267 --> 00:02:58,567
(screaming and grunting)
55
00:02:58,600 --> 00:02:59,633
(music stops)
56
00:02:59,667 --> 00:03:01,467
DID NOT COME FROM EMMA.
57
00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:02,800
I'M GONNA KILL YOU!
58
00:03:02,833 --> 00:03:04,300
YOU WHORE!
59
00:03:04,333 --> 00:03:07,167
OKAY, LADIES, PLEASE!
60
00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,600
OHH!
(thud)
61
00:03:08,633 --> 00:03:11,400
UHH! OH, MY NOSE!
62
00:03:11,433 --> 00:03:14,767
MY NOSE, MY NOSE. AAH!
63
00:03:30,633 --> 00:03:34,067
SHE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOING
WAS WRONG.
64
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:38,067
SHE KNEW IT WAS VERY DANGEROUS.
65
00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:42,433
SHE KNEW THE RISKS
IF PEOPLE FOUND OUT.
66
00:03:42,467 --> 00:03:45,633
BUT SUSAN DELFINO
WAS DETERMINED
67
00:03:45,667 --> 00:03:48,500
TO GET BACK TO WISTERIA LANE,
68
00:03:48,533 --> 00:03:53,067
AND THAT IS HOW HER WORLD
BEGAN TO FALL APART.
69
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,533
HI. I'M TANYA.
70
00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:59,167
THANK YOU FOR CHOOSING
TO SPEND TIME WITH ME.
71
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,767
I'M ALL YOURS
FOR THE NEXT HOUR.
72
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,267
HOW ABOUT WE START
73
00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:06,167
BY GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER
A LITTLE BETTER?
74
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,367
Show me your jugs.
75
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:14,267
(laughs) AREN'T YOU...
A FRISKY LITTLE... OOH!
76
00:04:14,300 --> 00:04:16,433
I SEE SOME DIRT
UNDER THE COFFEE TABLE.
77
00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:20,267
WOULD YOU LIKE ME
TO VACUUM?
78
00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:23,533
Sure, right after you take out
those tots and shake 'em.
79
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,600
(gasps) SLOW DOWN.
80
00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:28,500
(laughs nervously)
WE'VE GOT, UM...
81
00:04:28,533 --> 00:04:31,433
59 MORE MINUTES TOGETHER.
82
00:04:31,467 --> 00:04:33,500
AND, UH...
83
00:04:33,533 --> 00:04:36,600
ISN'T IT SEXIER
TO WARM EACH OTHER UP
84
00:04:36,633 --> 00:04:41,400
WITH SOME... (breathy voice)
NAUGHTY TALK FIRST?
85
00:04:41,433 --> 00:04:42,767
I have to listen
86
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:45,667
to my old lady's blah-blah-blah
all day long.
87
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:48,167
Lose the top so I can see
those money-makers.
88
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,800
WHAT, ARE YOU READING
FROM A BOOB THESAURUS?
89
00:04:50,833 --> 00:04:52,500
(clicks teeth) COME ON.
90
00:04:52,533 --> 00:04:54,667
ISN'T THERE SOME
ROMANTIC FANTASY
91
00:04:54,700 --> 00:04:57,133
YOU'D LIKE TO SHARE
WITH ME?
92
00:04:57,167 --> 00:05:00,500
Okay.
93
00:05:00,533 --> 00:05:01,833
Are you lactating?
94
00:05:01,867 --> 00:05:04,300
OH, PIG!
95
00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:05,667
YOU NEVER DO THAT.
96
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:08,067
YOU NEVER PULL THE PLUG
ON A SESSION!
97
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,833
THE GUY WAS A TOTAL PERV
98
00:05:09,867 --> 00:05:11,767
WHO CLEARLY HAD
SERIOUS MOTHER ISSUES.
99
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,633
YOU COST US A MAJOR CLIENT.
100
00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:17,600
AND GOD FORBID HE STARTS
TALKING ABOUT THIS AT WORK.
101
00:05:17,633 --> 00:05:20,200
WE COULD LOSE
THE WHOLE CITY COUNCIL!
102
00:05:20,233 --> 00:05:23,233
(sighs) I'M SORRY.
103
00:05:23,267 --> 00:05:24,300
I LOST MY NERVE.
104
00:05:24,333 --> 00:05:29,233
SUSAN, I CAN'T KEEP GIVING YOU
CHANCES LIKE THIS.
105
00:05:29,267 --> 00:05:31,800
(cell phone rings)
106
00:05:31,833 --> 00:05:33,167
(sighs)
(beep)
107
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,667
VA-VA-VA-BROOM.
108
00:05:35,700 --> 00:05:38,367
OH, YOU WANT A PRIVATE SESSION
WITH TANYA.
109
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,667
I'M SORRY.
THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
110
00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:42,600
SHE DOESN'T WORK FOR ME
ANYMORE.
111
00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:43,733
(beep)
112
00:05:43,767 --> 00:05:46,133
(door opens and closes)
113
00:05:46,167 --> 00:05:49,200
OH, ONCE AGAIN,
I AM SO SORRY.
114
00:05:49,233 --> 00:05:53,333
I FORGOT THAT FRENCH RESTAURANT
WAS SO FORMAL.
115
00:05:53,367 --> 00:05:57,267
(sighs) NEXT TIME, I WILL PICK
A PLACE WITH FEWER FORKS.
116
00:05:57,300 --> 00:06:00,200
YEAH, THANKS AGAIN FOR
HELPING ME OUT WITH THAT.
117
00:06:00,233 --> 00:06:02,467
WELL, I...
I HAD A LOT OF FUN.
118
00:06:03,833 --> 00:06:05,767
GOOD NIGHT.
119
00:06:07,767 --> 00:06:09,167
KEITH?
120
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,600
DID YOU REALLY HAVE
A LOT OF FUN?
121
00:06:11,633 --> 00:06:14,133
YEAH. (chuckles)
WHY DO YOU ASK?
122
00:06:14,167 --> 00:06:16,300
WELL, BECAUSE IT'S
OUR THIRD DATE, AND YOU JUST
123
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:19,633
KISSED ME LIKE YOU WERE SAYING
GOOD NIGHT TO YOUR AUNT.
124
00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:22,167
I'M TRYING TO TREAT YOU
LIKE A LADY.
125
00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:25,067
OH, THAT'S SWEET.
126
00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:28,067
NOW KNOCK IT OFF.
127
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:29,533
MMM.
128
00:06:31,667 --> 00:06:33,533
THREE TIMES?
129
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:35,433
IN ONE NIGHT.
130
00:06:35,467 --> 00:06:38,533
OH, MY GOD. THREE TIMES
IS MY ENTIRE SEPTEMBER.
131
00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:41,300
I JUST HAD THE NICEST CHAT
WITH GRACE.
132
00:06:41,333 --> 00:06:45,067
SHE SAID THE CUTEST THING.
BREE HAD SEX THREE TIMES
LAST NIGHT.
133
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,067
OH, SCREW MY STORY.
TELL ME EVERYTHING.
134
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:50,800
THE SEX WAS AMAZING.
135
00:06:50,833 --> 00:06:53,700
IT WAS LIKE...
OH, HOW TO DESCRIBE IT?
136
00:06:53,733 --> 00:06:56,133
(gasps) AN OPERA.
137
00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:58,133
YOU FELL ASLEEP DURING IT?
138
00:06:58,167 --> 00:07:01,067
I'M TELLING YOU, MAKING LOVE
TO A MAN IN HIS 30s--
139
00:07:01,067 --> 00:07:03,400
IT'S LIKE--OH, THE--THE SUN
SHINES BRIGHTER,
140
00:07:03,433 --> 00:07:06,300
THE GRASS LOOKS GREENER,
FOOD TASTES BETTER.
141
00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:08,300
OKAY, WE GET IT.
YOU HAD SEX THREE TIMES.
142
00:07:08,333 --> 00:07:09,500
(squeals) THREE!
143
00:07:09,533 --> 00:07:11,133
(laughs)
144
00:07:11,167 --> 00:07:14,133
OH, HEY, LOOK.
RENEE'S BACK FROM NEW YORK.
145
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,733
OH, GOD, YOU INVITED HER?
146
00:07:15,767 --> 00:07:17,767
WHAT,
NOW YOU DON'T LIKE RENEE?
147
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,667
I KNOW SHE'S YOUR FRIEND,
BUT ISN'T SHE KIND OF
148
00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:22,667
A SELF-ABSORBED,
NARCISSISTIC DIVA?
149
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:25,500
GOOD POINT.
WE ALREADY HAVE ONE OF THOSE.
150
00:07:25,533 --> 00:07:26,800
(slap)
151
00:07:26,833 --> 00:07:28,733
DROP THE DRUGSTORE CHAMPAGNE,
LADIES,
152
00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:30,667
AND MAKE WAY
FOR THE REAL STUFF.
153
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:33,133
(cork pops)
WE ARE CELEBRATING!
154
00:07:33,167 --> 00:07:35,433
WHAT'S THE OCCASION?
155
00:07:35,467 --> 00:07:36,800
OH, MY DIVORCE SETTLEMENT.
156
00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:39,700
I JUST SOAKED MY EX FOR...
WELL, A WHOLE LOT OF THESE.
157
00:07:39,733 --> 00:07:42,200
I THOUGHT THERE WAS
A PRENUP.
(pouring champagne)
158
00:07:42,233 --> 00:07:44,533
YEP, THERE WAS,
BUT NO PRENUP IS A MATCH
159
00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:47,433
FOR THE LEGAL TEAM OF GRIND'EM,
SCREW'EM, AND ROTHENBERG.
THAT WAS ICED TEA.
160
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,167
WELL, I JUST MADE IT FUN.
161
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,067
NOW I WANNA HAVE YOU ALL OVER
FOR DINNER TONIGHT.
162
00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,833
I'VE GOT TWO MORE CASES
OF CHAMPAGNE,
163
00:07:54,867 --> 00:07:57,267
A TRUCKLOAD OF CAVIAR,
AND A PILE OF MONEY
164
00:07:57,300 --> 00:08:00,533
TO ROLL AROUND NAKED IN.
(laughs) WHAT DO YOU SAY?
165
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:04,733
IF THERE'S MORE OF THIS,
I AM DEFINITELY THERE.
GREAT. HOW ABOUT YOU, BREE?
166
00:08:04,767 --> 00:08:08,167
OH, I WISH I COULD, BUT I HAVE
A DATE. I NEED TO CARBO-LOAD.
167
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:11,067
I'VE GOTTA PASS, TOO.
WE STILL HAVEN'T FOUND A NANNY,
168
00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:13,367
AND SO TOM'S WORKING LATE,
SO I HAVE TO GO--
YAWN. SUSAN.
169
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,667
I WOULD, BUT IT'S MACARONI
AND COUPON CLIPPING NIGHT
170
00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:17,600
AT MY HOUSE.
171
00:08:17,633 --> 00:08:22,133
YAWN AND SAD. WELL, I GUESS
IT'S JUST YOU AND ME.
172
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:24,467
GABS AND NEE.
173
00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,067
THAT IS GREAT.
174
00:08:26,067 --> 00:08:28,833
WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT
HOW MUCH YOU TWO HAVE IN COMMON.
175
00:08:28,867 --> 00:08:30,800
WEREN'T WE, GABS?
176
00:08:32,567 --> 00:08:34,467
THANKS SO MUCH.
YOUR BABY'S REALLY CUTE.
177
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:36,767
IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU.
WE'LL LET YOU KNOW.
THANKS.
178
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:37,867
MM-HMM.
179
00:08:37,900 --> 00:08:41,067
(door closes)
WELL?
ANY LUCK FINDING A NANNY?
180
00:08:41,067 --> 00:08:42,800
NO.
I'VE INTERVIEWED EIGHT GIRLS.
181
00:08:42,833 --> 00:08:44,733
THEY'RE ALL EITHER
TOO INEXPERIENCED
182
00:08:44,767 --> 00:08:46,233
OR TOO EXPENSIVE.
183
00:08:46,267 --> 00:08:49,333
HMM. WHAT ABOUT THE ONE
WITH THE BOOBS?
184
00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:52,333
AND THAT'S WHY WE'RE NOT
HIRING HER.
185
00:08:52,367 --> 00:08:54,267
WELL, DON'T GIVE UP YET,
186
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:56,700
BECAUSE I FOUND US
ONE MORE APPLICANT.
187
00:08:56,733 --> 00:09:00,200
YOU DID?
YOU TOOK THE INITIATIVE?
188
00:09:00,233 --> 00:09:02,233
WHY SO SURPRISED?
189
00:09:02,267 --> 00:09:04,767
OUR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
ARE STILL UP FROM LAST YEAR.
190
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,167
(car door closes)
191
00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:09,133
AND NOT ONLY IS SHE PUNCTUAL,
SHE'S EARLY.
192
00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:11,833
WHO IS IT?
UM, LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.
193
00:09:11,867 --> 00:09:14,733
LYNETTE, REMEMBER HOW
YOU ALWAYS USED TO HATE YAMS?
194
00:09:14,767 --> 00:09:17,233
BUT THEN YOU GAVE THEM
A SECOND CHANCE
195
00:09:17,267 --> 00:09:19,233
AND THEY WEREN'T SO BAD.
AND OVER TIME,
196
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:22,667
YOU REALIZED, "I LIKE YAMS.
YAMS ARE GREAT."
197
00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:27,233
WELL, SOMETIMES, LYNETTE,
PEOPLE ARE LIKE YAMS.
198
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:31,200
WHAT'D YOU DO?
199
00:09:31,233 --> 00:09:32,767
(gasps) ARE YOU INSANE?
200
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,700
I WAS TALKING TO HER
LAST NIGHT.
201
00:09:34,733 --> 00:09:37,733
I-I MENTIONED WE MIGHT
NEED HELP, AND SHE VOLUNTEERED.
202
00:09:37,767 --> 00:09:40,067
(knock on door)
(whispers) YOU GET IT.
203
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:41,633
(sighs)
204
00:09:41,667 --> 00:09:43,700
(door opens)
205
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:46,400
TOMMY!
206
00:09:46,433 --> 00:09:48,300
MOM!
207
00:09:48,333 --> 00:09:49,367
(laughs)
208
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:53,067
(under breath) WHY COULDN'T
SHE HAVE BEEN A YAM?
209
00:09:57,167 --> 00:09:58,467
OKAY, SO THIS TINA--
210
00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:01,100
WAS THAT THE FIRST TIME
HE CHEATED ON YOU?
211
00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:04,633
UH, I DON'T KNOW.
YOU HEAR STORIES.
212
00:10:04,667 --> 00:10:06,800
THERE WAS THIS THING
DURING THE ALL-STAR GAME--
213
00:10:06,833 --> 00:10:11,367
PICTURES OF DOUG IN THE TABLOIDS
WITH A COCKTAIL WAITRESS.
214
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,833
BUT THEN HE CAME BACK
WITH A BULGARI BRACELET,
215
00:10:13,867 --> 00:10:16,267
SO WE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT.
216
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,200
GOD, BEING MARRIED
TO A PRO ATHLETE--
217
00:10:18,233 --> 00:10:20,533
IT MUST BE A NIGHTMARE.
218
00:10:20,567 --> 00:10:23,067
WELL, SOUNDS LIKE
YOU ARE WELL RID OF HIM.
219
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,800
(both laugh)
(clink)
220
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:29,833
(sighs) YOU KNOW,
I FEEL LIKE YOU GET ME, GABY.
221
00:10:29,867 --> 00:10:33,467
AND YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE...
222
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:35,467
WE'RE BOTH
EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL.
223
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:40,267
GOD BLESS YOU FOR HAVING
THE COURAGE TO SAY THAT.
224
00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:42,200
ONLY SOMEONE
WHO LOOKS LIKE US
225
00:10:42,233 --> 00:10:44,733
CAN UNDERSTAND
WHAT A BURDEN IT CAN BE.
226
00:10:44,767 --> 00:10:47,067
ACTUALLY,
IT'S PRETTY AWESOME.
227
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:48,800
(both laugh)
228
00:10:48,833 --> 00:10:51,433
OH, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES
I DRIVE FAST ON PURPOSE
229
00:10:51,467 --> 00:10:54,467
JUST TO SEE IF I CAN FLIRT
MY WAY OUT OF A TICKET.
230
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:55,600
AMATEUR HOUR.
OH?
231
00:10:55,633 --> 00:10:58,567
I GOT A BANK MANAGER TO SHAVE
A POINT OFF OUR MORTGAGE
232
00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,233
BY BENDING OVER
TO PICK UP A PENCIL.
233
00:11:01,267 --> 00:11:04,300
TO THIS DAY, CARLOS CALLS IT
MY MILLION-DOLLAR ASS. (laughs)
234
00:11:04,333 --> 00:11:06,233
(laughs)
WAIT. I CAN TOP THAT.
235
00:11:06,267 --> 00:11:10,100
YESTERDAY THESE BABIES
EARNED ME A COOL $8 MILLION.
236
00:11:10,133 --> 00:11:11,833
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
237
00:11:11,867 --> 00:11:14,733
WELL, I WORE A LOW-CUT DRESS
TO MY SETTLEMENT HEARING,
238
00:11:14,767 --> 00:11:18,400
AND AFTERWARDS,
DOUG'S LAWYER CAME TO MY HOTEL
239
00:11:18,433 --> 00:11:20,233
TO RENEGOTIATE.
240
00:11:20,267 --> 00:11:23,200
YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?
YOU'RE AWFUL.
241
00:11:23,233 --> 00:11:24,433
I KNOW. (laughs)
242
00:11:24,467 --> 00:11:28,200
(sighs) I SHOULDN'T
HAVE TOLD YOU THAT.
243
00:11:28,233 --> 00:11:30,067
KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.
244
00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:32,100
OH, HONEY,
I WON'T TELL ANYONE.
245
00:11:32,133 --> 00:11:35,600
UM...
I DON'T KNOW YOU WELL ENOUGH.
246
00:11:35,633 --> 00:11:37,833
YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE ME
SOME DIRT ON YOU.
247
00:11:37,867 --> 00:11:40,300
(clink)
248
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:42,300
HMM.
249
00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:45,400
HUH.
250
00:11:45,433 --> 00:11:47,333
I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING.
251
00:11:47,367 --> 00:11:50,233
REALLY? NOTHING?
252
00:11:50,267 --> 00:11:53,267
LIKE, SAY...
PLASTIC SURGERY?
253
00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:54,767
WHAT?
254
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:58,267
HONEY, A SCALPEL HAS NEVER
TOUCHED THIS BODY.
255
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,800
MAYBE NOT THE BODY...
256
00:11:59,833 --> 00:12:01,733
(singsongy) BUT THAT NOSE
IS A DR. BROTSKI.
257
00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:04,400
I'D KNOW HIS WORK ANYWHERE.
258
00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:07,667
HOW DARE YOU.
I AM INSULTED.
259
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,300
OKAY, FINE. I WAS 19.
IT WAS JUST A LITTLE BUMP.
260
00:12:12,333 --> 00:12:14,233
(laughs)
THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY.
261
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,700
DID YOU HAVE
A DEVIATED SEPTUM, TOO?
262
00:12:16,733 --> 00:12:19,200
DON'T TELL ANYONE.
CARLOS KNOWS,
263
00:12:19,233 --> 00:12:22,100
BUT IF THE GIRLS FIND OUT,
I'D NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT.
264
00:12:22,133 --> 00:12:24,400
OF COURSE.
YOU CAN TRUST ME.
265
00:12:24,433 --> 00:12:25,633
I'M BEAUTIFUL.
266
00:12:25,667 --> 00:12:27,567
THAT'S TRUE.
267
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,400
(clink)
268
00:12:29,433 --> 00:12:31,767
GOOD MORNING.
269
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:35,833
(chuckles)
GOOD MORNING, SWEETHEART.
MWAH.
270
00:12:35,867 --> 00:12:38,500
(singsongy)
STILL NOT SPEAKING TO YOU.
271
00:12:41,067 --> 00:12:44,633
YOUR BREAKFAST WILL BE
READY IN A MINUTE.
272
00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:47,167
YOU WANT COFFEE.
I'LL GET IT.
273
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,567
YOUR SCRAMBLED EGGS
ARE READY.
274
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:53,467
OH, MOM, I WAS HOPING
FOR YOUR FRENCH TOAST.
275
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,600
SHE MADE YOU EGGS, TOM.
EAT THEM.
276
00:12:55,633 --> 00:12:58,267
NO, IT'S NO PROBLEM.
YOU READ YOUR PAPER,
277
00:12:58,300 --> 00:13:00,433
AND I'LL FIX IT RIGHT UP,
RODNEY.
278
00:13:00,467 --> 00:13:02,300
UH, TOMMY, MOM.
279
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:04,233
OH, DIDN'T I SAY THAT?
280
00:13:04,267 --> 00:13:07,233
OH, IT'S JUST THAT YOU LOOK
SO MUCH LIKE YOUR FATHER.
281
00:13:07,267 --> 00:13:08,700
(Paige crying)
282
00:13:08,733 --> 00:13:10,267
OH, GOSH, WHAT NOW?
283
00:13:10,300 --> 00:13:12,233
OH, LET ME GET HER.
284
00:13:12,267 --> 00:13:15,133
IT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.
285
00:13:15,167 --> 00:13:17,333
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?
286
00:13:17,367 --> 00:13:19,267
MY MOTHER IS ON TOP OF IT,
287
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:22,167
AND YOU GET TO SIT
AND HAVE COFFEE WITH THE MAN
288
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,533
THAT YOU KICKED THREE TIMES
"IN YOUR SLEEP" LAST NIGHT.
289
00:13:24,567 --> 00:13:27,167
LOOK, I CAN TAKE YOUR MOTHER
IN SMALL DOSES,
290
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,067
BUT HER LIVING HERE
EVERY DAY--
291
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,533
YOU KNOW, I NEVER GOT
WHAT THIS THING IS
292
00:13:32,567 --> 00:13:35,233
YOU HAVE WITH HER.
I MEAN, YOU SAY YOU LOVE HER.
293
00:13:35,267 --> 00:13:38,667
SHE'S GREAT WITH THE KIDS.
WHAT'S YOUR BEEF?
OKAY, YOU REALLY WANNA
KNOW WHAT IT IS?
294
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:41,567
YEAH.
OKAY. I CAN'T STAND THE PERSON
SHE TURNS YOU INTO.
295
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:42,733
YOU BECOME
THIS NEANDERTHAL...
296
00:13:42,767 --> 00:13:46,200
PFFT.
WHILE SHE'S TRIPPING OVER
HER APRON STRINGS
297
00:13:46,233 --> 00:13:48,133
TO SERVE YOU.
SO SHE LIKES TO DOTE ON ME,
298
00:13:48,167 --> 00:13:52,067
AND I DON'T MIND THE ATTENTION.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
299
00:13:52,100 --> 00:13:54,433
FALSE ALARM. SHE'S FINE.
THANK YOU.
300
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:56,367
OH, AND BY THE WAY...
301
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,700
(singsongy) MORE COFFEE.
YES.
302
00:13:57,733 --> 00:13:59,533
RIGHT AWAY.
303
00:13:59,567 --> 00:14:01,467
(lowered voice)
JUST KNOW IF YOU EVER
304
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,367
HOLD YOUR COFFEE CUP
UP TO ME,
305
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,367
YOU WILL BE TAPPING IT
WITH A STUMP.
(clink)
306
00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:08,733
MMM.
307
00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:11,267
(indistinct conversations)
308
00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:14,133
MIKE. I WAS GONNA CALL YOU.
I WAS TALKING TO PAUL YOUNG.
309
00:14:14,167 --> 00:14:17,067
HE AND THE NEW MISSUS ARE
REALLY ENJOYING THE HOUSE.
310
00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:18,200
ARE THEY?
311
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:21,200
YEAH, AND PAUL WAS WONDERING
IF YOU WOULD BE INTERESTED
312
00:14:21,233 --> 00:14:22,733
IN SELLING THE PLACE.
313
00:14:22,767 --> 00:14:25,700
HE'S WILLING TO MAKE
A VERY GENEROUS OFFER.
314
00:14:25,733 --> 00:14:27,633
LEE, I NEVER KICKED YOUR ASS
315
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,567
FOR RENTING OUR HOUSE
TO THAT GUY
316
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,600
'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T KNOW
OUR HISTORY, BUT NOW YOU DO.
317
00:14:32,633 --> 00:14:35,200
SO I GOTTA WONDER,
ARE YOU AN IDIOT?
318
00:14:35,233 --> 00:14:37,133
I'M SORRY.
PAUL WANTED ME TO ASK.
319
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,800
SUSAN AND I ARE WORKING
REALLY HARD TO SAVE MONEY.
320
00:14:39,833 --> 00:14:42,700
YOU TELL PAUL THAT
THE DAY HIS LEASE IS UP,
321
00:14:42,733 --> 00:14:45,333
WE'RE MOVING HOME.
(paper rustles)
322
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:46,767
(telephone rings, beep)
323
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,100
HELLO?
324
00:14:48,133 --> 00:14:50,533
HEY, IT'S ME.
I JUST RAN INTO MIKE.
325
00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:53,400
DID YOU ASK HIM
ABOUT THE HOUSE?
YEAH. HE WASN'T INTERESTED.
326
00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:56,533
DID YOU TELL HIM I'M WILLING
TO PAY ABOVE MARKET VALUE?
327
00:14:56,567 --> 00:14:59,567
I COULD HAVE, BUT I DIDN'T
WANT TO GET PUNCHED.
328
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,133
YOU DISAPPOINT ME, LEE.
329
00:15:01,167 --> 00:15:03,100
THERE ARE OTHER HOUSES,
PAUL.
330
00:15:03,133 --> 00:15:05,067
NO. I NEED THIS ONE.
331
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:09,267
FORTUNATELY, I HAVE
ANOTHER WAY TO HANDLE THIS.
332
00:15:09,300 --> 00:15:11,133
(beep)
333
00:15:11,167 --> 00:15:13,067
YOUR DEPOSIT
SHOULD CLEAR MONDAY,
334
00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:16,067
AND THIS WILL BE
YOUR BALANCE.
335
00:15:17,633 --> 00:15:20,200
WAIT. THIS ISN'T RIGHT.
336
00:15:20,233 --> 00:15:23,500
WE SHOULD HAVE
A LOT MORE MONEY IN HERE.
337
00:15:23,533 --> 00:15:27,833
YES. THE SILVER BRACELET
THAT YOU CLEANED LAST YEAR
338
00:15:27,867 --> 00:15:30,767
THAT BELONGED TO MY GRANDMOTHER.
339
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,800
WHAT DO YOU THINK IT'S WORTH?
340
00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:38,100
OKAY. UM...
341
00:15:38,133 --> 00:15:41,267
YEAH, I'LL COME BY TOMORROW.
342
00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:42,533
(beep)
343
00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:46,100
OH.
(knocks)
344
00:15:46,133 --> 00:15:47,367
HEY.
345
00:15:49,133 --> 00:15:50,500
HEY.
346
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:52,800
HI. HERE'S THAT GOLD NECKLACE
YOU LENT ME.
347
00:15:52,833 --> 00:15:55,833
WHAT DO YOU NEED IT FOR?
YOU GUYS GOING ON A FANCY DATE?
348
00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:58,733
(chuckles) NO. I JUST, UH...
349
00:15:58,767 --> 00:16:00,667
JUST NEEDED IT BACK.
350
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:01,733
YOU OKAY?
351
00:16:01,767 --> 00:16:03,467
UH-HUH.
352
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:05,433
YOU WANT TO TALK
ABOUT SOMETHING?
353
00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:07,500
I CAN'T.
354
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:10,400
OH. OH.
(crying)
355
00:16:10,433 --> 00:16:13,433
UM... I'M GONNA--
I'M GONNA FIND YOU A TISSUE.
356
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,133
(sniffles)
357
00:16:19,433 --> 00:16:21,300
SUSAN, I WAS JUST AT THE BANK.
358
00:16:21,333 --> 00:16:24,100
WE'RE MISSING $9,000
FROM OUR CHECKING ACCOUNT.
359
00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:29,067
YOU WENT TO THE BANK?
YEAH. WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?
DID YOU TAKE THAT MONEY OUT?
360
00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:30,300
YES. (sighs)
361
00:16:30,333 --> 00:16:31,467
SUSAN?
362
00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,533
SUSAN, WHAT HAPPENED
TO THAT MONEY?
363
00:16:33,567 --> 00:16:35,467
SHE LENT IT TO ME.
364
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:37,400
W-WE HAD SOME BILLS
FROM PAIGE'S BIRTH
365
00:16:37,433 --> 00:16:39,833
THAT WEREN'T COVERED
BY INSURANCE,
366
00:16:39,867 --> 00:16:43,067
AND SUSAN VERY KINDLY
OFFERED TO HELP US OUT.
367
00:16:43,067 --> 00:16:46,067
(sighs) THAT'S RIGHT.
368
00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:49,433
AND SHE'S GONNA PAY IT BACK
BY... BY FRIDAY.
369
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:50,700
WITH INTEREST.
370
00:16:51,867 --> 00:16:53,767
OR NOT... BECAUSE,
I MEAN, WE'RE FRIENDS,
371
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,567
SO... WHY WOULD YOU
CHARGE US INTEREST?
372
00:17:01,567 --> 00:17:03,800
I GOTTA GET BACK TO WORK...
373
00:17:03,833 --> 00:17:07,167
IN CASE ANY OF
OUR OTHER FRIENDS NEED MONEY.
374
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,467
(sighs)
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
375
00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:13,633
YOU'RE SO WELCOME.
376
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,333
(sighs)
377
00:17:16,367 --> 00:17:18,267
ANYTHING YOU WANNA TELL ME?
378
00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:20,200
(sniffles) YEAH.
379
00:17:20,233 --> 00:17:22,633
BUT PROMISE YOU WON'T YELL?
380
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:25,233
YOU DID PORN
ON THE INTERNET?!
381
00:17:25,267 --> 00:17:27,800
NO, IT WAS JUST CLEANING
IN LINGERIE.
382
00:17:27,833 --> 00:17:30,767
I--THERE--I WAS NEVER NAKED.
THERE WAS NO SEX.
383
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,133
WELL, UNLESS THE GUYS WERE
WATCHING FOR CLEANING TIPS,
384
00:17:33,167 --> 00:17:36,567
IT'S PORN. SUSAN!
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?!
385
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,100
LOOK, I FEEL BAD ENOUGH
ALREADY.
386
00:17:39,133 --> 00:17:42,267
WELL, YOU SHOULD! WHAT IF MIKE
FINDS OUT? OR YOUR KIDS?
387
00:17:42,300 --> 00:17:45,167
HEY, IT IS REALLY EASY
FOR YOU TO COME DOWN HERE
388
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:48,267
FROM YOUR 5-BEDROOM HOUSE
IN THE SUBURBS AND CRITICIZE ME.
389
00:17:48,300 --> 00:17:50,133
I AM NOT ON WISTERIA LANE
ANYMORE.
390
00:17:50,167 --> 00:17:54,400
LOOK AT WHAT MIKE AND I
ARE TRYING TO CLIMB OUT OF!
391
00:17:54,433 --> 00:17:57,300
WE CAN'T EVEN AFFORD HOT LUNCHES
FOR M.J. AT SCHOOL,
392
00:17:57,333 --> 00:18:00,433
SO JUST THINK ABOUT THAT
NEXT TIME YOU WANNA JUDGE ME.
393
00:18:00,467 --> 00:18:02,567
(sighs)
394
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:08,200
OKAY.
395
00:18:08,233 --> 00:18:11,100
DONE JUDGING.
BACK TO BEING A FRIEND.
396
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,167
(sighs)
397
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,233
I'M SORRY
YOU HAD TO DO THAT.
398
00:18:15,267 --> 00:18:17,067
UGH.
399
00:18:18,433 --> 00:18:20,167
ME, TOO.
400
00:18:24,433 --> 00:18:26,067
(knock on door)
401
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:28,700
(squeaks)
402
00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:30,667
DOUG,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
403
00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:32,700
I HAD TO SEE YOU.
404
00:18:32,733 --> 00:18:36,100
WELL, I'D INVITE YOU IN,
BUT IT'S LATE AND I HATE YOU.
405
00:18:36,133 --> 00:18:39,600
BABY, I FLEW ALL THIS WAY.
AT LEAST HEAR ME OUT.
406
00:18:39,633 --> 00:18:42,700
(sighs)
407
00:18:42,733 --> 00:18:44,633
(door squeaks)
IF IT'S ABOUT
THE SETTLEMENT,
408
00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:46,567
YOU'RE WASTING YOUR BREATH.
409
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,833
I MISS YOU.
410
00:18:48,867 --> 00:18:50,833
WELL, HOW DOES TINA FEEL
ABOUT THAT?
411
00:18:50,867 --> 00:18:53,767
THAT WAS A STUPID MISTAKE,
AND IT'S OVER.
412
00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:57,067
I KNOW I SCREWED UP...
413
00:18:57,067 --> 00:18:58,367
BIG THIS TIME.
414
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,500
GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE.
415
00:19:00,533 --> 00:19:02,667
(sighs)
416
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:05,733
I'M SORRY, DOUG,
BUT I'M ACTUALLY HAPPY HERE.
417
00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:10,067
I'M GETTING A FRESH START,
MAKING NEW FRIENDS.
418
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:13,067
COME ON. CAN'T BE HAPPY
HERE IN MAYBERRY.
419
00:19:13,067 --> 00:19:15,100
YOU WERE MADE
FOR MANHATTAN.
420
00:19:15,133 --> 00:19:17,533
OH, BY THE WAY.
CARTIER CALLED.
421
00:19:17,567 --> 00:19:19,267
(box creaks)
422
00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:21,433
THEY MISS YOU, TOO.
423
00:19:21,467 --> 00:19:23,600
OH, DOUG,
DON'T DO THIS TO ME.
424
00:19:23,633 --> 00:19:26,267
THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING
WE HAD TOGETHER.
425
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:28,600
I WANT IT BACK.
426
00:19:28,633 --> 00:19:30,267
DON'T YOU?
427
00:19:33,267 --> 00:19:36,167
OH, I CAN'T STOP THINKING
ABOUT THAT PLAY.
428
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,667
WHAT DO YOU THINK
THE ANGEL REPRESENTED
429
00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:41,800
WHEN HE FLEW DOWN IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE NIGHT?
430
00:19:41,833 --> 00:19:45,567
I DON'T KNOW. I WAS TOO BUSY
LOOKING FOR THE WIRES.
431
00:19:46,767 --> 00:19:51,233
SO, ARE YOU, UH,
IN THE MOOD FOR SOME DESSERT?
432
00:19:51,267 --> 00:19:53,067
TOTALLY.
433
00:19:54,633 --> 00:19:58,067
I THINK THE ANGEL
SYMBOLIZED HOPE
434
00:19:58,067 --> 00:20:02,400
OR A-A SECOND CHANCE
AT REDEMPTION, PERHAPS.
435
00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:05,533
'COURSE, ANOTHER INTERPRETATION,
I SUPPOSE,
436
00:20:05,567 --> 00:20:07,633
COULD BE--
437
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,767
(breathily) OH, MY.
438
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:16,767
WHEN YOU SAID "DESSERT,"
I JUST ASSUMED...
439
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:21,800
WELL, THERE'S NO TWO WAYS
TO INTERPRET THAT.
440
00:20:24,133 --> 00:20:26,233
OHH! (gasps)
THAT WAS INCREDIBLE.
441
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:29,133
WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO DO THAT,
AND WHY THE HELL AM I ASKING?
442
00:20:29,167 --> 00:20:31,200
DON'T TELL ME. MMM.
443
00:20:31,233 --> 00:20:33,500
OH, LET'S JUST SAY
YOU INSPIRE ME.
444
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:35,100
MMM.
445
00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:37,100
OHH! (panting)
446
00:20:37,133 --> 00:20:38,633
WELL, THAT'LL TEACH ME
447
00:20:38,667 --> 00:20:40,800
TO LET YOU WALK BEHIND ME
UP THE STAIRS.
448
00:20:40,833 --> 00:20:42,733
(chuckles)
449
00:20:42,767 --> 00:20:45,400
(both moaning)
450
00:20:45,433 --> 00:20:46,833
WHAT IS THAT?
451
00:20:46,867 --> 00:20:51,600
(pants) I GUESS
INSPIRATION STRUCK AGAIN.
452
00:20:54,267 --> 00:20:55,467
HI.
453
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:59,433
PLEASE TELL ME
YOU'RE HERE TO STAB ME.
454
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:01,367
WHAT?
455
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:05,067
NOTHING. COME ON IN.
456
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:09,733
(door squeaks)
457
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,467
(panting)
458
00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:15,167
WHAT'S THAT?
459
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:16,833
CRUDITéS.
460
00:21:16,867 --> 00:21:19,500
AREN'T THEY SUPPOSED TO BE
SLICED AND PEELED?
461
00:21:19,533 --> 00:21:20,700
I'M TOO TIRED.
462
00:21:20,733 --> 00:21:23,500
(gasps) PLEASE GET THAT
AWAY FROM ME.
463
00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:27,267
I GUESS SOMEONE
WAS WITH KEITH LAST NIGHT.
464
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:30,267
WERE YOU ONCE, TWICE,
THREE TIMES NOT A LADY?
465
00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:33,067
IT'S NOT FUNNY.
SIX HOURS WE HAD SEX.
466
00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:34,833
I FEEL LIKE
THE HOLLAND TUNNEL.
467
00:21:34,867 --> 00:21:36,767
HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST TELL HIM
468
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,667
YOU NEED A LITTLE BREAK?
BECAUSE HE'S YOUNG.
IF I TURN DOWN
469
00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:41,700
A ROLL IN THE HAY, HE'S GONNA
THINK I'M AN OLD WOMAN.
470
00:21:41,733 --> 00:21:44,633
YOU JUST SAID "ROLL IN THE HAY."
I THINK THAT SHIP HAS SAILED.
471
00:21:44,667 --> 00:21:46,667
(knock on door)
472
00:21:46,700 --> 00:21:49,567
OHH! WELL, I BETTER FIGURE OUT
HOW TO SLOW HIM DOWN
473
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:53,400
BEFORE THIS JOHN WAYNE WALK
BECOMES PERMANENT. COMING!
474
00:21:53,433 --> 00:21:55,633
(door opens)
475
00:21:55,667 --> 00:21:57,200
HI.
HEY. (laughs)
476
00:21:57,233 --> 00:21:59,133
COME ON IN.
HEY, GIRLS.
477
00:21:59,167 --> 00:22:01,400
HEY!
HEY! YOU ARE JUST IN TIME.
478
00:22:01,433 --> 00:22:04,167
I MIXED UP A SIGNATURE DRINK
IN HONOR OF YOUR DIVORCE.
479
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,200
I WOULDN'T POUR THAT
JUST YET.
480
00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:10,167
I'M STARTING TO RETHINK
THIS WHOLE DIVORCE THING.
481
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,100
DOUG SHOWED UP LAST NIGHT.
482
00:22:12,133 --> 00:22:13,633
HE FLEW IN FROM NEW YORK?
483
00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:17,733
I KNOW. HE SAID IT'S OVER
WITH TINA.
484
00:22:17,767 --> 00:22:19,500
HE WANTS ME BACK.
485
00:22:19,533 --> 00:22:22,367
AND HE GAVE ME THIS.
486
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,233
(laughs)
487
00:22:24,267 --> 00:22:26,167
OH, DOUG SCREWS UP A LOT,
488
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,633
BUT HIS APOLOGIES
ARE ALWAYS THE 4th OF JULY.
489
00:22:28,667 --> 00:22:31,667
WOW. TOM'S APOLOGIES
ARE MORE LIKE ARBOR DAY.
490
00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:34,067
BUT HE CHEATED ON YOU.
491
00:22:34,067 --> 00:22:36,767
OKAY. A GUY WHO HAS WOMEN
THROWING THEMSELVES AT HIM
492
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,300
IN EVERY CITY.
493
00:22:38,333 --> 00:22:40,400
MEANWHILE,
WE HAD TEN GREAT YEARS,
494
00:22:40,433 --> 00:22:43,233
AND HE LOVED ME AND CARED FOR ME
AND I THINK I SHOULD
495
00:22:43,267 --> 00:22:45,300
GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE.
496
00:22:45,333 --> 00:22:46,367
AM I CRAZY?
497
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,167
WELL, YOU HAVE INVESTED
TEN YEARS IN THE MARRIAGE.
498
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,067
NO ONE GOES THAT LONG WITHOUT
A FEW BUMPS IN THE ROAD.
499
00:22:52,067 --> 00:22:54,300
OKAY, THEN. I'M DOING IT.
500
00:22:54,333 --> 00:22:56,100
ARE YOU INSANE?
501
00:22:56,133 --> 00:22:58,167
THE MAN DUMPED YOU
FOR ANOTHER WOMAN.
502
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,567
WELL, HE APOLOGIZED.
CAN'T I FORGIVE HIM?
503
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,767
WHY? BECAUSE HE GAVE YOU
A STUPID RING?
504
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,567
HE'S BUYING YOU OFF AGAIN.
OPEN YOUR EYES.
505
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,433
HEY. IT'S MY MARRIAGE ANYWAY.
506
00:23:09,467 --> 00:23:12,600
WHY DON'T YOU JUST KEEP
YOUR FAKE NOSE OUT OF IT?
507
00:23:18,867 --> 00:23:20,733
WHAT DOES SHE MEAN, FAKE?
508
00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:23,133
GABRIELLE SOLIS,
DID YOU HAVE A NOSE JOB?
509
00:23:23,167 --> 00:23:26,600
HELLO! WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT TRAMPY McTRINKET!
510
00:23:26,633 --> 00:23:29,367
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS
OF YOU
511
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,667
BRAGGING ABOUT
YOUR NATURAL BEAUTY?
512
00:23:31,700 --> 00:23:33,300
OH, I NEVER BRAG.
513
00:23:33,333 --> 00:23:35,500
YOU ONCE CALLED YOUR FACE
PROOF OF GOD'S EXISTENCE.
514
00:23:35,533 --> 00:23:38,067
YOU SAID I WAS A FRAUD
FOR WEARING A PADDED SWIMSUIT.
515
00:23:38,067 --> 00:23:41,167
AND NOW WE FIND OUT
YOU'VE HAD PLASTIC SURGERY.
516
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,500
OOH! THAT CHANGES EVERYTHING.
517
00:23:42,533 --> 00:23:44,133
MM-HMM.
518
00:23:44,167 --> 00:23:46,633
NO, IT DOESN'T.
IT WASN'T PLASTIC SURGERY.
519
00:23:46,667 --> 00:23:50,067
IT WAS CORRECTIVE RHINOPLASTY
FOR A DEVIATED...
520
00:23:51,500 --> 00:23:53,767
YOU WILL REGRET THIS.
521
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:57,633
OH, GABY, COME ON!
WE'RE KIDDING!
522
00:23:57,667 --> 00:23:59,533
DON'T GET YOUR NOSE
OUT OF JOINT.
523
00:23:59,567 --> 00:24:02,800
(gasps)
524
00:24:02,833 --> 00:24:05,400
(door slams)
(whispers) OHH.
525
00:24:06,867 --> 00:24:09,833
BREE VAN DE KAMP HAD A PROBLEM.
526
00:24:09,867 --> 00:24:14,600
HER BOYFRIEND'S SEXUAL APPETITE
WAS PROVING TO BE EXHAUSTING.
527
00:24:14,633 --> 00:24:19,200
AND THEN OUT OF THE BLUE,
BREE CAME UP WITH A SOLUTION.
528
00:24:19,233 --> 00:24:22,800
SINCE KEITH'S DEMANDS
WERE OVERWHELMING HER,
529
00:24:22,833 --> 00:24:26,267
WHY NOT MAKE
SOME OVERWHELMING DEMANDS
530
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:28,233
OF HER OWN?
531
00:24:28,267 --> 00:24:30,267
WOW. THERE'S A LOT
OF WORK HERE.
532
00:24:30,300 --> 00:24:32,833
I GUESS I COULD
GET IT DONE BY FRIDAY.
533
00:24:32,867 --> 00:24:35,333
OH, NO, I'M GONNA NEED IT
SOONER THAN THAT.
534
00:24:35,367 --> 00:24:37,400
CERTAINLY... BY TONIGHT.
535
00:24:42,333 --> 00:24:43,567
(sighs)
536
00:24:45,067 --> 00:24:46,533
HEY, ALLISON MADE YOU
537
00:24:46,567 --> 00:24:49,300
YOUR FAVORITE COOKIES
FOR YOUR TRIP.
MACAROONS?!
538
00:24:49,333 --> 00:24:50,133
OATMEAL RAISIN.
539
00:24:50,167 --> 00:24:53,167
OH. THOSE WERE
MY DAD'S FAVORITES.
540
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:56,400
MAYBE YOU CAN TRADE THEM WITH
THE BOY NEXT TO YOU ON THE PLANE
541
00:24:56,433 --> 00:25:00,067
FOR HIS SNACK.
MAKE FUN, BUT YOU HAVE TO ADMIT,
SHE'S BEEN GREAT WITH THE BABY.
542
00:25:00,067 --> 00:25:03,233
SHE HAS BEEN GREAT.
YOU WERE RIGHT. I WAS WRONG.
543
00:25:03,267 --> 00:25:06,133
OH, IF ONLY THESE
WERE MACAROONS.
544
00:25:06,167 --> 00:25:08,567
THIS WOULD BE
THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
545
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,500
(laughs) OH!
(laughs) MMM.
546
00:25:10,533 --> 00:25:14,233
CALL ME WHEN YOU LAND.
SEE YOU, BABE.
547
00:25:14,267 --> 00:25:17,067
(door closes)
AH. SO CAN I HELP
WITH THE LASAGNA?
548
00:25:17,067 --> 00:25:19,133
ACTUALLY, THE BOYS SAID
THEY WANTED MEATLOAF,
549
00:25:19,167 --> 00:25:21,433
SO I SWITCHED THE MENU.
NOW SIT.
550
00:25:21,467 --> 00:25:22,700
ALL RIGHT. (chuckles)
551
00:25:22,733 --> 00:25:26,533
SO TOM WAS TELLING ME ABOUT YOU
GOING BACK TO WORK. (chuckles)
552
00:25:26,567 --> 00:25:29,633
I MUST SAY,
I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.
553
00:25:29,667 --> 00:25:31,600
WELL, THAT'S...
554
00:25:31,633 --> 00:25:33,533
OKAY. (chuckles)
555
00:25:33,567 --> 00:25:34,533
(clink)
556
00:25:34,567 --> 00:25:36,133
(gasps) OH!
557
00:25:36,167 --> 00:25:38,067
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
558
00:25:38,067 --> 00:25:41,200
I'M OUT OF MILK.
WELL, YOUR GRANDMOTHER
IS NOT HERE TO SERVE YOU.
559
00:25:41,233 --> 00:25:44,067
I DON'T MIND, DEAR.
SEE? SHE WANTS TO.
560
00:25:44,067 --> 00:25:46,800
SODA, GRAM?
MAKE IT TWO.
561
00:25:46,833 --> 00:25:48,600
(pours milk)
BOYS!
562
00:25:48,633 --> 00:25:53,267
PENNY, I HAVE TO GET THE MEAT,
SO YOU GET THE SODAS.
563
00:25:53,300 --> 00:25:55,200
UH... WHY?
564
00:25:55,233 --> 00:25:58,067
WHY? WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE
OF OUR MEN.
565
00:25:59,433 --> 00:26:00,700
PENNY, SIT.
566
00:26:00,733 --> 00:26:03,600
YOU BOYS WANT A DRINK,
GET UP AND GET IT.
567
00:26:03,633 --> 00:26:05,100
THEY HAD SUCH A LONG DAY--
568
00:26:05,133 --> 00:26:07,167
CLASSES AND THEN
THEIR AFTER-SCHOOL SPORTS.
569
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:10,767
ALLISON, IN THIS HOUSE,
THE WOMEN DON'T WAIT ON THE MEN.
570
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,467
THE MEN GET OFF THEIR ASSES
AND HELP THEMSELVES.
571
00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:16,667
WHEN DID IT BECOME A SIN
TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR FAMILY?
572
00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:19,567
OH, YOU MODERN WOMEN.
YOU JUST PLOP OUT A BABY,
573
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:22,467
AND THEN YOU CAN'T WAIT TO GET
BACK TO YOUR SILLY CAREERS.
574
00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:25,300
I TOOK CARE OF MY BOYS.
575
00:26:25,333 --> 00:26:27,233
WHEN MY HUSBAND CAME HOME,
576
00:26:27,267 --> 00:26:29,767
THERE WAS A HOT MEAL
WAITING FOR HIM ON THE TABLE.
577
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,700
HE NEVER WANTED FOR ANYTHING.
578
00:26:31,733 --> 00:26:33,800
YEAH, AND HOW DID THAT
WORK OUT FOR YOU?
579
00:26:33,833 --> 00:26:36,600
HE HAD AN AFFAIR AND LEFT.
580
00:26:54,100 --> 00:26:55,800
DAMN IT.
581
00:27:00,700 --> 00:27:02,767
I DIDN'T REALIZE
YOU WERE STILL HERE.
582
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,233
HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING
THIS WHOLE TIME?
583
00:27:05,267 --> 00:27:08,433
YOU SAID
TO GET IT ALL DONE TODAY.
584
00:27:08,467 --> 00:27:10,433
SO IF THERE IS NOTHING ELSE,
585
00:27:10,467 --> 00:27:13,733
I WOULD LIKE TO GO HOME
AND SLIP INTO A COMA.
586
00:27:13,767 --> 00:27:16,133
WHY DON'T YOU SPEND
THE NIGHT HERE?
587
00:27:16,167 --> 00:27:18,433
I'D HATE TO SEE YOU
OUT THERE DRIVING
588
00:27:18,467 --> 00:27:20,467
WHEN YOU'RE SO EXHAUSTED.
589
00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:22,133
YOU ARE EXHAUSTED, RIGHT?
590
00:27:22,167 --> 00:27:23,800
TOTALLY.
591
00:27:23,833 --> 00:27:26,467
EVERY PART OF MY BODY HURTS.
592
00:27:26,500 --> 00:27:27,733
THEN STAY.
(pats bed)
593
00:27:27,767 --> 00:27:29,600
SLEEP HERE.
594
00:27:29,633 --> 00:27:31,300
(click)
595
00:27:31,333 --> 00:27:33,233
IN THE MORNING,
I WILL MAKE YOU...
(sighs deeply)
596
00:27:33,267 --> 00:27:35,100
BELGIAN WAFFLES.
597
00:27:35,133 --> 00:27:37,067
THAT WILL BE
MY SPECIAL THANK YOU
598
00:27:37,067 --> 00:27:38,800
FOR ALL OF YOUR HARD WORK.
599
00:27:38,833 --> 00:27:40,667
(sighs)
600
00:27:40,700 --> 00:27:42,133
(click)
601
00:27:42,167 --> 00:27:44,733
MMM.
602
00:27:44,767 --> 00:27:46,700
HMM.
603
00:27:46,733 --> 00:27:48,533
MMM.
604
00:27:48,567 --> 00:27:50,567
(sighs)
MMM.
605
00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:54,500
UH...
606
00:27:54,533 --> 00:27:56,333
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
607
00:27:56,367 --> 00:27:58,700
I THOUGHT OF ANOTHER WAY
YOU COULD THANK ME.
608
00:27:58,733 --> 00:28:02,667
YOU SAID EVERY PART
OF YOUR BODY WAS SORE.
609
00:28:02,700 --> 00:28:04,600
ONE PART'S DOING OKAY.
610
00:28:04,633 --> 00:28:06,067
OKAY!
611
00:28:07,533 --> 00:28:09,567
THAT'S IT!
WHAT'S WRONG?
612
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:11,100
I CAN'T DO IT!
I CAN NO LONGER KEEP UP
613
00:28:11,133 --> 00:28:13,667
WITH YOU AND YOUR
WOODY WOODPECKER SEX DRIVE!
614
00:28:13,700 --> 00:28:15,733
WHAT?
I-I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT,
OKAY?
615
00:28:15,767 --> 00:28:17,400
I'M OLDER THAN YOU.
616
00:28:17,433 --> 00:28:20,367
I DON'T HAVE YOUR STAMINA,
AND I CAN'T KEEP UP.
617
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,300
(chuckles) YOU--
YOU CAN'T KEEP UP?
618
00:28:22,333 --> 00:28:24,300
I'M DATING A WOMAN WHO TALKS
TO WAITERS IN FRENCH
619
00:28:24,333 --> 00:28:27,067
AND WANTS TO DISCUSS A PLAY'S
SYMBOLISM DURING HALFTIME.
620
00:28:27,067 --> 00:28:30,067
INTERMISSION.
YOU SEE? YOU'RE TEN TIMES
SMARTER THAN ME.
621
00:28:30,100 --> 00:28:31,833
THAT'S WHY
I KEEP SEXING YOU UP.
622
00:28:31,867 --> 00:28:33,800
I'M TRYING
TO KEEP YOU INTERESTED.
623
00:28:40,167 --> 00:28:44,767
MAKE NO MISTAKE.
I AM INTERESTED.
624
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:48,667
I LOVE WHEN I AM PRATTLING ON
ABOUT THE MEANING OF THE ANGEL,
625
00:28:48,700 --> 00:28:50,667
YOU NOTICE THE WIRES.
626
00:28:50,700 --> 00:28:53,067
YOU HAVE YOUR OWN WAY
OF SEEING THE WORLD,
627
00:28:53,067 --> 00:28:56,600
AND IT'S FUN
AND DOWN-TO-EARTH
628
00:28:56,633 --> 00:29:00,633
AND EVERYTHING I'M NOT.
629
00:29:06,133 --> 00:29:09,167
SO YOU'RE SAYING
YOU LIKE ME HOW I AM?
630
00:29:10,267 --> 00:29:14,300
WOW.
I HADN'T THOUGHT OF THAT.
631
00:29:16,333 --> 00:29:18,067
YES.
632
00:29:18,067 --> 00:29:19,600
VERY MUCH.
633
00:29:22,100 --> 00:29:26,433
NOW PUT THAT THING AWAY
AND LET'S GET SOME REST.
634
00:29:33,833 --> 00:29:36,100
HI. WHO ARE YOU?
635
00:29:36,133 --> 00:29:38,667
OH, I'M JENNY.
I'M THE NEW NANNY.
636
00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:42,333
AH! (chuckles)
ISN'T IT GREAT?
637
00:29:42,367 --> 00:29:46,367
I OFFERED HER A LITTLE MORE
MONEY, AND SHE TOOK THE JOB.
(chuckles)
638
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:50,067
(lowered voice) SHE'S THE ONE
WITH THE BOOBS. REMEMBER?
639
00:29:50,100 --> 00:29:51,100
YEAH.
640
00:29:51,133 --> 00:29:52,767
(singsongy) YOU'RE WELCOME.
641
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:56,667
LYNETTE, CAN I--CAN I TALK
TO YOU UPSTAIRS FOR A MINUTE?
642
00:29:56,700 --> 00:29:57,733
OKAY.
643
00:29:59,833 --> 00:30:02,333
I'LL BE RIGHT UP.
644
00:30:02,367 --> 00:30:04,467
OH. OKAY.
645
00:30:10,367 --> 00:30:12,267
SO...
(door closes)
646
00:30:12,300 --> 00:30:14,200
GREAT NEWS ABOUT JEN, HUH?
647
00:30:14,233 --> 00:30:15,167
YEAH.
648
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:16,667
I JUST FIRED HER.
649
00:30:16,700 --> 00:30:18,833
WHAT? YOU HAD NO RIGHT
TO DO THAT.
650
00:30:18,867 --> 00:30:20,767
AND YOU HAD NO RIGHT
651
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,767
TO MAKE MY MOTHER
FEEL UNWELCOMED IN MY HOUSE.
652
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:26,667
SHE JUST WANTED TO BE
A PART OF THIS FAMILY.
653
00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:28,733
TOM, I LOVE YOUR MOTHER,
AND IF THIS WERE 1955,
654
00:30:28,767 --> 00:30:31,533
I WOULD BE SO ON BOARD
WITH HER PARENTING TECHNIQUES,
655
00:30:31,567 --> 00:30:35,233
BUT I WILL NOT LET HER RAISE
OUR CHILDREN TO TURN OUT LIKE...
656
00:30:35,267 --> 00:30:38,200
WHOA, WHOA. FINISH THAT
SENTENCE. T-TURN OUT LIKE ME?
657
00:30:38,233 --> 00:30:40,133
NO. NO,
I DIDN'T SAY THAT! I--
658
00:30:40,167 --> 00:30:43,467
BUT WE--LET'S BE HONEST.
WHEN WE FIRST MET,
659
00:30:43,500 --> 00:30:45,633
YOU THOUGHT THERE WERE
ONLY TWO ROLES FOR WOMEN--
660
00:30:45,667 --> 00:30:47,700
MAKING A CAKE
OR JUMPING OUT OF ONE.
661
00:30:47,733 --> 00:30:51,400
I'M SORRY.
I JUST DON'T WANT HER HERE.
FOR OUR ENTIRE MARRIAGE,
662
00:30:51,433 --> 00:30:53,567
YOU HAVE BEEN THE ONE
TO MAKE THE DECISIONS.
663
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,233
"I'M GOING BACK TO WORK."
"I'M HIRING A NANNY."
664
00:30:56,267 --> 00:30:59,400
THIS TIME, I AM MAKING
THE DECISION. SHE STAYS.
665
00:31:01,233 --> 00:31:02,467
(school bell rings)
666
00:31:02,500 --> 00:31:05,267
OKAY, BOYS AND GIRLS, GATHER UP
YOUR SUPPLIES AND PUT THEM AWAY.
667
00:31:05,300 --> 00:31:08,067
(cell phone rings)
SEE YOU TOMORROW.
668
00:31:08,100 --> 00:31:10,067
(ring, beep)
669
00:31:10,100 --> 00:31:12,500
MAXINE, I CAN'T TALK NOW.
I'M AT WORK.
670
00:31:12,533 --> 00:31:14,500
Look, I know I fired you,
671
00:31:14,533 --> 00:31:16,333
BUT IF YOU LIKE,
672
00:31:16,367 --> 00:31:18,300
I'M WILLING TO OFFER YOU,
UH, ANOTHER CHANCE.
673
00:31:18,333 --> 00:31:19,800
WHY?
674
00:31:19,833 --> 00:31:21,733
WELL, THIS GUY KEEPS CALLING.
675
00:31:21,767 --> 00:31:24,100
HE REALLY WANTS
A PRIVATE SESSION WITH YOU,
676
00:31:24,133 --> 00:31:26,633
AND HE'S STARTING TO OFFER
SOME SERIOUS MONEY.
677
00:31:26,667 --> 00:31:29,100
Come on. What do you say?
678
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:33,067
HOW SERIOUS ARE WE TALKING?
679
00:31:34,167 --> 00:31:36,533
THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR COMING.
680
00:31:36,567 --> 00:31:39,500
I CANNOT TELL YOU
WHAT IT MEANS TO ME.
681
00:31:39,533 --> 00:31:41,433
YEAH, YEAH. ARE YOU GONNA
BE SINGING ANY SONGS
682
00:31:41,467 --> 00:31:43,367
ABOUT A WOMAN
WHO'S A BACKSTABBING BITCH?
683
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:45,233
WE ARE REALLY
LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, EMMA.
684
00:31:45,267 --> 00:31:47,367
GOOD LUCK.
THANKS.
685
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,300
WOULD YOU GET OVER IT
ALREADY?
686
00:31:49,333 --> 00:31:51,567
WHY DON'T WE GO SIT DOWN
WITH OUR FRIENDS?
NO!
687
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,700
I'M SICK OF LYNETTE MAKING
HOSE CYRANO de BERGERAC JOKES,
688
00:31:54,733 --> 00:31:56,200
WHOEVER SHE WAS.
689
00:31:56,233 --> 00:31:59,067
HE. AND, BABY, THEY ARE
JUST TEASING YOU. (laughs)
690
00:31:59,067 --> 00:32:02,333
WELL, IT'S NOT FUNNY.
MY THING WAS MY NATURAL BEAUTY.
691
00:32:02,367 --> 00:32:05,300
LIKE SUSAN'S AN ARTIST.
LYNETTE'S A GREAT BUSINESSWOMAN.
692
00:32:05,333 --> 00:32:06,633
BREE'S THE PERFECT HOMEMAKER.
693
00:32:06,667 --> 00:32:08,567
I WAS THE BEAUTIFUL ONE.
694
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,800
NOW I'M JUST THE PLASTIC ONE.
695
00:32:10,833 --> 00:32:13,267
(piano playing light jazz)
696
00:32:13,300 --> 00:32:16,767
AND THERE'S
THE WOMAN WHO'S TO BLAME.
697
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,800
MAN, I'D LOVE TO SMACK
THAT SMILE RIGHT OFF HER FACE--
698
00:32:19,833 --> 00:32:22,467
WHICH, BY THE WAY,
HAS BEEN PULLED SO TIGHT,
699
00:32:22,500 --> 00:32:24,400
IT WOULD PROBABLY
SMACK ME BACK.
700
00:32:24,433 --> 00:32:27,400
I FORGOT WHAT IT WAS LIKE
WALKING INTO A ROOM ON YOUR ARM.
701
00:32:27,433 --> 00:32:28,733
(giggles) I LIKE IT.
702
00:32:28,767 --> 00:32:31,833
BABY, I THINK YOU ARE THE ONE
THEY WERE STARING AT.
703
00:32:31,867 --> 00:32:34,167
AH. WELL, THIS DOESN'T HURT.
704
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,100
(chuckles)
(giggles)
705
00:32:36,133 --> 00:32:37,067
MMM.
MWAH.
706
00:32:37,100 --> 00:32:40,667
HEY, GABY.
707
00:32:40,700 --> 00:32:42,600
I DIDN'T NOSE YOU'D BE HERE.
708
00:32:42,633 --> 00:32:43,733
(snickers)
709
00:32:43,767 --> 00:32:46,567
OKAY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU HEARD, BUT IT'S ALL CRAP.
710
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:47,800
DON'T LIE.
711
00:32:47,833 --> 00:32:49,733
THAT'LL MAKE IT GROW AGAIN.
712
00:32:49,767 --> 00:32:53,333
(both laugh)
713
00:32:53,367 --> 00:32:54,533
(sighs)
714
00:32:54,567 --> 00:32:56,467
TELL DOUG PERRY
IT'S ON THE HOUSE.
715
00:32:56,500 --> 00:32:58,233
(ice rattles)
716
00:32:58,267 --> 00:33:00,167
I'LL DO IT.
717
00:33:03,100 --> 00:33:05,067
(ice rattles)
718
00:33:05,067 --> 00:33:08,767
(both speaking indistinctly)
719
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:10,400
(thud)
720
00:33:10,433 --> 00:33:11,767
IT'S ON THE HOUSE.
721
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,200
OH, BY THE WAY,
SHE SLEPT WITH YOUR LAWYER.
722
00:33:14,233 --> 00:33:15,633
(chuckles) ENJOY THE SHOW.
723
00:33:22,067 --> 00:33:23,800
IS THAT TRUE?
724
00:33:23,833 --> 00:33:25,200
WELL...
(chuckles nervously)
725
00:33:25,233 --> 00:33:27,200
THE THING ABOUT THAT IS...
726
00:33:27,233 --> 00:33:29,600
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
727
00:33:29,633 --> 00:33:32,367
THE SMOKEHOUSE LOUNGE
IS PROUD TO PRESENT
728
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:33,600
EMMA GRAHAM.
729
00:33:33,633 --> 00:33:36,633
(cheering)
730
00:33:36,667 --> 00:33:39,333
WHOO, EMMA!
731
00:33:39,367 --> 00:33:40,700
***
732
00:33:40,733 --> 00:33:43,100
A WORD.
AAH!
733
00:33:43,133 --> 00:33:45,833
HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!
GET THE CLAWS OFF THE VERSACE!
734
00:33:45,867 --> 00:33:49,367
WHY THE HELL
WOULD YOU TELL HIM THAT?
WELL, YOU KNOW
ME AND MY BIG NOSE...
735
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:51,300
THIS IS MY MARRIAGE
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!
736
00:33:51,333 --> 00:33:54,667
THIS TRUMPS YOUR STUPID NOSE!
OH, WHATEVER.
THEY'RE BOTH FAKE!
737
00:33:54,700 --> 00:33:56,567
OH, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
738
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:58,567
YOU'RE NOTHING
BUT A BORING HOUSEWIFE...
SHUT UP!
739
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:01,467
WHOSE LIFE IS SO PATHETIC,
YOU GOTTA CRAP ALL OVER MINE!
740
00:34:01,500 --> 00:34:03,400
I'M PATHETIC?!
HEY, WHAT DO YOU CALL
741
00:34:03,433 --> 00:34:06,267
A GIRL WHO SLEEPS WITH A GUY
FOR $8 MILLION?!
(gasps)
742
00:34:06,300 --> 00:34:08,100
***
743
00:34:08,133 --> 00:34:10,833
(screaming and grunting)
744
00:34:10,867 --> 00:34:12,733
***
745
00:34:12,767 --> 00:34:14,633
(Gabrielle)
GET OFF! UHH! AAH!
746
00:34:14,667 --> 00:34:16,133
(music stops)
I'M GONNA KILL YOU!
747
00:34:16,167 --> 00:34:18,733
YOU WHORE! UHH!
GET OFF ME!
748
00:34:18,767 --> 00:34:21,733
OKAY, LADIES, PLEASE.
749
00:34:21,767 --> 00:34:23,400
(Lee) UHH!
(crash)
750
00:34:23,433 --> 00:34:25,400
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU
FOR THIS!
751
00:34:25,433 --> 00:34:28,167
SURE YOU WILL. I'LL JUST
BUY YOU A SAPPHIRE RING.
752
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:29,167
OH, YOU LIKE MY RING?
753
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:32,067
WELL, GET READY TO SMELL IT!
(grunts)
(thud)
754
00:34:32,067 --> 00:34:32,967
(crowd gasps)
755
00:34:33,067 --> 00:34:34,733
(high-pitched voice)
OH, MY GOD, MY NOSE!
756
00:34:34,767 --> 00:34:36,100
MY NOSE! MY NOSE!
757
00:34:36,133 --> 00:34:37,800
OHH! AAH!
758
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:44,133
(cell phone rings)
759
00:34:44,167 --> 00:34:46,333
(ring)
760
00:34:46,367 --> 00:34:47,367
(sighs)
761
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:48,833
(beep)
762
00:34:48,867 --> 00:34:52,700
(sighs) DIDN'T THINK
I'D HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN.
763
00:34:52,733 --> 00:34:55,500
LOOK, I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT
EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED.
764
00:34:55,533 --> 00:34:59,533
YOU SLEPT WITH SOMEONE.
I SLEPT WITH SOMEONE.
765
00:34:59,567 --> 00:35:01,467
MAYBE WE SHOULD
JUST CALL IT EVEN.
766
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:03,267
REALLY?
767
00:35:03,300 --> 00:35:04,400
Yeah.
768
00:35:04,433 --> 00:35:07,200
I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT
WE BOTH WANT, RIGHT?
769
00:35:28,167 --> 00:35:30,300
THANK YOU, DEAR.
770
00:35:34,067 --> 00:35:37,633
I AM SO SORRY FOR SAYING
THOSE THINGS ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND.
771
00:35:37,667 --> 00:35:39,667
I APPRECIATE THAT.
772
00:35:39,700 --> 00:35:43,200
AND I'M SORRY IF I...
CROSSED SOME SORT OF LINE.
773
00:35:43,233 --> 00:35:45,067
NO.
774
00:35:45,100 --> 00:35:48,267
IT JUST FELT SO NICE
TO FEEL USEFUL AGAIN.
775
00:35:48,300 --> 00:35:50,700
YOU ARE USEFUL,
AND I REALLY NEED YOU HERE,
776
00:35:50,733 --> 00:35:53,400
ESPECIALLY WHEN I GO BACK
TO WORK.
777
00:35:55,633 --> 00:35:57,100
YOU KNOW,
778
00:35:57,133 --> 00:36:00,200
THE KITCHEN IS
MY FAVORITE ROOM IN THE HOUSE.
779
00:36:00,233 --> 00:36:02,700
THE FAMILY
SITS TOGETHER HERE.
780
00:36:02,733 --> 00:36:05,700
YOU GET TO COOK FOR THEM
AND MAKE THEM HAPPY.
781
00:36:05,733 --> 00:36:07,433
AND I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND
782
00:36:07,467 --> 00:36:11,633
WHY YOU WOULD EVER WANT TO GIVE
ALL THAT UP TO GO OUT THERE.
783
00:36:15,467 --> 00:36:18,067
(sighs)
784
00:36:18,100 --> 00:36:20,200
IT'S JUST WHO I AM.
785
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,333
MOM? THE BABY'S CRYING.
786
00:36:27,367 --> 00:36:29,667
OH. WELL,
SHE'S PROBABLY HUNGRY.
787
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:34,667
(chuckles)
788
00:36:36,500 --> 00:36:38,367
OOH. YUMMY.
789
00:36:40,167 --> 00:36:43,233
I'M SO SORRY.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME AGAIN?
790
00:36:43,267 --> 00:36:45,567
I'M PENNY.
791
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:49,100
AND DO YOU LIVE HERE?
792
00:36:57,667 --> 00:36:58,667
HI.
793
00:36:58,700 --> 00:36:59,567
HI.
794
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:02,767
I'M NOT REALLY USED
TO APOLOGIZING...
795
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,300
BUT HERE ARE
SOME CHOCOLATES.
796
00:37:05,333 --> 00:37:09,300
I HAVEN'T TOUCHED A CARB
SINCE 1985, BUT THANK YOU.
797
00:37:09,333 --> 00:37:11,500
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
798
00:37:11,533 --> 00:37:15,233
I WAS ACTUALLY ON MY WAY OVER
TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU.
799
00:37:15,267 --> 00:37:17,633
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT CAME OVER ME.
800
00:37:17,667 --> 00:37:21,600
LOOK, I STILL FEEL YOU DESERVE
BETTER THAN THAT GUY.
801
00:37:21,633 --> 00:37:24,533
BUT I HAD NO RIGHT TO SCREW WITH
YOUR MARRIAGE. IT'S YOUR LIFE.
802
00:37:24,567 --> 00:37:26,467
DOUG CALLED THIS MORNING.
803
00:37:26,500 --> 00:37:28,433
HE SAID
HE STILL WANTS ME BACK...
804
00:37:28,467 --> 00:37:30,100
OH.
805
00:37:30,133 --> 00:37:31,467
WOW. (chuckles)
806
00:37:31,500 --> 00:37:34,067
AND I SAID NO.
807
00:37:34,067 --> 00:37:35,267
SERIOUSLY?
808
00:37:35,300 --> 00:37:38,200
HE SAID WE COULD PRETEND
IT NEVER HAPPENED,
809
00:37:38,233 --> 00:37:40,133
AND I THOUGHT
OF ALL THE THINGS
810
00:37:40,167 --> 00:37:42,667
I PRETENDED NEVER HAPPENED
OVER THE YEARS.
811
00:37:42,700 --> 00:37:46,100
YOU WERE RIGHT, GABY.
I NEEDED TO OPEN MY EYES.
812
00:37:47,167 --> 00:37:49,467
OKAY, WELL,
BEFORE I TAKE CREDIT FOR THIS,
813
00:37:49,500 --> 00:37:51,600
ARE YOU SURE
THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT?
814
00:37:51,633 --> 00:37:53,167
YES.
815
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:55,200
AND THANK YOU.
OUT OF ALL THE WOMEN,
816
00:37:55,233 --> 00:37:58,100
YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD
THE GUTS TO TELL ME THE TRUTH.
817
00:37:58,133 --> 00:38:00,200
YOU'RE A REAL FRIEND,
818
00:38:00,233 --> 00:38:03,267
AND I'LL TAKE THAT
OVER A SAPPHIRE RING ANY DAY.
819
00:38:03,300 --> 00:38:04,800
(chuckles)
OH! (chuckles)
820
00:38:04,833 --> 00:38:08,367
YOU'RE KEEPING THE RING,
RIGHT?
OH, HELL, YEAH.
821
00:38:16,233 --> 00:38:17,433
OH.
822
00:38:20,133 --> 00:38:22,400
AH.
823
00:38:22,433 --> 00:38:24,067
(sighs)
824
00:38:25,133 --> 00:38:27,200
(beeps)
825
00:38:27,233 --> 00:38:29,667
(sighs)
826
00:38:30,567 --> 00:38:33,500
HELLO?
827
00:38:33,533 --> 00:38:35,433
IS ANYONE THERE?
828
00:38:39,233 --> 00:38:41,733
OH! HI.
829
00:38:41,767 --> 00:38:44,467
ARE YOU SHY, TOO? (laughs)
830
00:38:44,500 --> 00:38:47,267
WELL, THAT'S OKAY.
SO AM I.
831
00:38:47,300 --> 00:38:50,067
(sighs) WHY DON'T YOU
START WITH JUST, UH,
832
00:38:50,067 --> 00:38:52,600
TELLING ME YOUR NAME?
833
00:38:52,633 --> 00:38:54,667
I think you know my name.
834
00:38:54,700 --> 00:38:56,600
(gasps) OH! OH! OH!
835
00:38:56,633 --> 00:38:59,067
(panting)
836
00:38:59,100 --> 00:39:01,500
(whimpers)
I'm still here, Susan.
837
00:39:01,533 --> 00:39:02,600
(panting)
838
00:39:02,633 --> 00:39:05,067
(whispers) OH. OH. OH.
839
00:39:16,167 --> 00:39:17,100
(gasps)
840
00:39:17,133 --> 00:39:19,533
I'm glad you put your robe on.
841
00:39:19,567 --> 00:39:21,767
I hate to see you
debasing yourself.
842
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:25,433
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
843
00:39:25,467 --> 00:39:27,267
I'd like your house,
844
00:39:27,300 --> 00:39:30,167
and I'm willing to pay
a very fair price for it.
845
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,400
YEAH, MIKE TOLD ME
ABOUT THAT.
846
00:39:33,433 --> 00:39:35,233
IT'S NOT FOR SALE.
847
00:39:35,267 --> 00:39:39,067
Susan, it seems to me
a lot of things are for sale--
848
00:39:39,100 --> 00:39:41,767
your body, your honor,
849
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:43,700
your reputation.
850
00:39:43,733 --> 00:39:47,067
The house would seem to be
the smallest of those things.
851
00:39:47,100 --> 00:39:49,600
ARE YOU THREATENING ME?
852
00:39:49,633 --> 00:39:52,467
I'm simply saying it would
be terribly unfortunate
853
00:39:52,500 --> 00:39:55,300
if anyone were to find out
what I already know.
854
00:39:55,333 --> 00:39:58,400
I mean... (chuckles)
I was shocked.
855
00:39:58,433 --> 00:39:59,767
I can only imagine
856
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:02,400
what your husband and son
would think.
857
00:40:02,433 --> 00:40:04,567
YOU SON OF A BITCH.
858
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:08,133
It's a lot to take in,
I know.
859
00:40:08,167 --> 00:40:10,767
Why don't you take a couple
of days to think about it?
860
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:15,300
I'd hate for you to feel
that I was... pressuring you.
861
00:40:15,333 --> 00:40:17,633
(click)
862
00:40:20,667 --> 00:40:24,433
HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING
WAS WRONG.
863
00:40:24,467 --> 00:40:28,567
HE KNEW IT WAS VERY DANGEROUS.
864
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:32,200
HE KNEW THE RISKS
IF PEOPLE FOUND OUT.
865
00:40:32,233 --> 00:40:37,600
BUT PAUL YOUNG WANTED TO PUNISH
THOSE WHO HAD BETRAYED HIM.
866
00:40:37,633 --> 00:40:42,067
SO HE HAD A PLAN THAT WOULD
SET NEIGHBOR AGAINST NEIGHBOR
867
00:40:42,100 --> 00:40:45,133
AND FRIEND AGAINST FRIEND.
868
00:40:45,167 --> 00:40:50,633
AND IT WAS A PLAN
THAT WAS GOING TO SUCCEED.
62251
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