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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,734 They stand there, barking. 26 dogs. 2 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:16,363 I see their mean faces. They've come to kill. 3 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,908 And they tell my boss bertold: 4 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:25,706 "Give us boaz rein, or we'll eat your customers. In 1 minute!โ€œ 5 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,999 - 26 dogs? - Exactly. 6 00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:31,962 How do you know there are 26 and not 30? 7 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:34,381 I'm coming to that. 8 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,138 - Well? - Well what? 9 00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:46,101 - Do you check it out? - What do you think happens? 10 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:51,231 - I wake up! - At that point every time? 11 00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,734 Exacfly. It always stops there. 12 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:56,570 - Since when? - Two and a half years. 13 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,740 - And you call me now, at this hour? - Asshole! 14 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,033 Don't call me an asshole. 15 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,997 This dream is coming from somewhere. 16 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,917 - I haven't told you everything. - Like what? 17 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,420 You know, in Lebanon 18 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,213 what about Lebanon? 19 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:19,509 At the start of the war, we went into Lebanese villages 20 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,929 to search for wanted Palestinians. 21 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,223 Yeah, and? 22 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:46,745 When someone enters a village, the dogs smell and bark to alert. 23 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:52,793 Everyone wakes up, and the fugitives take off. 24 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:57,172 Someone had to liquidate them. Otherwise our men would have died. 25 00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:00,634 But why you? 26 00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:04,596 They knew I couldn't shoot a person. They told me: 27 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,809 "Go ahead and shoot the dogs!" 28 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:29,746 26 dogs, I remember every single one. 29 00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:35,377 Every face, every wound, the look in their eyes 26 dogs. 30 00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,755 How long before they started appearing in your dreams? 31 00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,340 20 years. 32 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:44,344 - Have you tried anything? - Like what? 33 00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:48,515 Therapy, a psychiatrist, shiatsu, anything 34 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,434 no, nothing. I called you. 35 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,353 I'm just a filmmaker! 36 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,522 Can't films be therapeutic? 37 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:59,234 You've dealt with all the issues in your films, right? 38 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,404 But nothing like this. 39 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,364 No flashbacks from Lebanon? 40 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,535 No. Not really. 41 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,537 Are you sure? 42 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:13,874 No. 43 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,334 - Beirut, sabra and shatila? - What about that? 44 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:19,671 You were only 100 yards away from the massacre! 45 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,592 More like 200 or 300 yards. 46 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,510 The truth is that's not stored in my system. 47 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:31,349 No flashbacks or dreams? You never think about it? 48 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:33,226 No, no. 49 00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,312 No. 50 00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,236 You'll be okay, huh? 51 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,906 - You think so? - Sure. 52 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:49,409 - You're sure? - Yes. I'll think of something. 53 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,537 - Sure? - Sure. 54 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,662 The meeting with boaz took place in winter, 2006. 55 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:38,041 That night, for the first time in 20 years, 56 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:41,419 I had a flashback of the war in Lebanon. 57 00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:46,091 Not just Lebanon, west Beirut. Not just Beirut, 58 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:50,512 but the massacre at the sabra and shatila refugee camps. 59 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,477 What's wrong? It's 6:30 in the morning! 60 00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:28,068 We all have friends who are lawyers, doctors, therapists 61 00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:31,029 sometimes that friendship costs them. 62 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:34,824 But you wouldn't wake your lawyer friend at 6:30! 63 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:38,078 My lawyer is 10 times cheaper than you! 64 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,122 I just don't understand. 65 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:47,629 Why boaz's dream with the dogs? 66 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:53,593 Why that to jog my memory? It has nothing to do with me. 67 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:58,723 Memory is fascinating. Take this psychological experiment 68 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:08,483 a group of people were shown 10 various childhood images. 69 00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,987 Nine were really from their childhood and one was fake: 70 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:19,828 Their portrait was pasted into a fairground they never visited. 71 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:27,794 Eighty percent recognized themselves 72 00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:31,506 they recognized the fake photo as real! 73 00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:34,634 Twenty percent couldn't remember. 74 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,220 The researchers asked them again. 75 00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:41,015 The second time, the others said that they remembered the image. 76 00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:46,646 "Such a wonderful day at the park with my parents." 77 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,774 They remembered a completely fabricated experience. 78 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:54,529 Memory is dynamic. It's alive. 79 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,949 If some details are missing, 80 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:02,745 memory fills the holes with things that never happened. 81 00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:12,005 So my vision of the massacre is like the fake photo? 82 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:16,759 It never happened? I invented it? It's not real? 83 00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:20,180 I don't know. Who was there with you? 84 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:24,017 Carmi was there. You know him from school. 85 00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:28,146 And someone else I don't recognize. 86 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:33,193 - So go ask carmi what he remembers. - He's in Holland. 87 00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,737 He's lived there for 20 years. 88 00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:40,700 Go to Holland and ask him if it bothers you. 89 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:41,867 Isn't that dangerous? 90 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:45,705 Maybe I'll discover things I don't want to know about myself? 91 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,041 Not at all. 92 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:53,046 You'll discover important things that you want to know. 93 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:57,300 We don't go places where we really don't want to. 94 00:11:57,508 --> 00:12:01,763 A human mechanism prevents us from entering dark places. 95 00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:06,142 Memory takes us where we need to go. 96 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:43,972 See all that? 97 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:47,642 Yes. 98 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,310 It's all mine. 99 00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,023 All of it? 100 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,944 From those trees to the river. 101 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,405 - It all belongs to you? - Yes, and the house. 102 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,116 It's about 10 acres. 103 00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:09,372 - All that just from selling falafel? - Just from falafel! 104 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:12,250 - Wow! - Come and see. 105 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:20,133 - How much falafel did you sell? - Three years was enough. 106 00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:24,804 In the early '90s I had a small stand in utrecht. 107 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:29,976 Health food was in fashion. The middle east too 108 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:32,770 falafel is both healthy and middle eastern. 109 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:37,483 Everyone thought you'd become a nuclear physicist. 110 00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,069 Who did? 111 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:44,282 I don't know, your family, my family, our school friends. 112 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:49,704 They thought that by the age of 40 you'd be nominated for a nobel prize. 113 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,373 By 20, that future was over. 114 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,335 Cold? 115 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:59,380 - Cold? I'm freezing! - Let's go inside. 116 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,843 We have to walk all that way? 117 00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:07,430 It's funny you've showed up now. 118 00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,682 - Why? - When you called 119 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:14,687 I had just gone out with my son Thomas. He's seven. 120 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:19,192 He was playing with a toy gun and started asking questions. 121 00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:22,362 "What did you do in the army? Ever shoot anyone?" 122 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,822 - Did you? - I don't know. 123 00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,618 Let's go inside and warm up. 124 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:34,665 Would you mind if I sketch you and your son playing in the snow? 125 00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:35,832 No. 126 00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:39,670 Not at all. Draw as much as you like. 127 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,506 I'll fetch him. 128 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,592 It's fine as long as you draw, but don't film. 129 00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:59,709 As strange as it sounds, we were transported to war 130 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:05,965 on a little "love boatโ€œ leased by the army or god knows what. 131 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:10,845 They wanted to mislead the enemy and launch a surprise attack. 132 00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:16,767 What do you mean a "love boat"? With jacuzzis and bars? 133 00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:22,315 - All of that? - That's how I imagined it. 134 00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:30,031 I later found out it was just an old commando boat. 135 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:34,994 For 18 you seemed pretty bright to me. I never took you for a fighter. 136 00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:39,290 Frankly, it was important to me for a pretty practical reason. 137 00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:43,753 I felt like everyone else was screwing like rabbits, 138 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:46,839 and that I was the only how can I put it? 139 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,635 The only nerd good at chess and math 140 00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:56,015 but with masculinity problems. So I had to prove to everyone 141 00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,477 that I was the best fighter and some big hero. 142 00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,521 Did you succeed? 143 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,190 Yes, surprisingly enough. 144 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,860 I felt that I was strong and capable. 145 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:15,201 Then the war started and they put us on that damned "love boat". 146 00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:19,247 - Then I - you what? 147 00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:24,418 I puked like a pig! I wondered what the enemy would think. 148 00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:29,048 I finally collapsed on deck and fell asleep. 149 00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,385 I sleep when I'm scared. 150 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:37,223 To this day, I escape into sleep and hallucinate. 151 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,933 Unconscious on the deck, 152 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:29,692 dreaming a woman would come 153 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,699 and take me for the first time, 154 00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:44,915 I saw my best friends go up in flames before my eyes. 155 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,169 - Where? - On the boat. 156 00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:25,915 I woke up just before we docked. It's dawn, and we're in a city. 157 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,501 - Which city? - How should I know? 158 00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,170 Sidon, I think. 159 00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:36,258 Out of pure fear and anxiety we start shooting like lunatics. 160 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:41,847 - At whom? - How do I know? 161 00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,769 Then an old Mercedes drives up. 162 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,563 Everyone fires at it like crazy. 163 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,696 Two years of training, and the fear, 164 00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:59,073 the uncontrollable fear 165 00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:06,956 then the silence. The terrible silence of death. 166 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,251 At daybreak 167 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:16,674 we could see our destruction, 168 00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:21,470 without knowing where we were. 169 00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,515 Lying in the car 170 00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:27,518 what was in the car? 171 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:30,271 The bodies of a whole family. 172 00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,399 Why did you come here? 173 00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:36,110 Me? I 174 00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,529 I lost my memory. 175 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,365 - In an accident? - What? 176 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:44,326 - Did you have an accident? - What do you mean? 177 00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,414 In a car or at work? 178 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,583 No, I didn't have an accident. 179 00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:56,589 I just can't remember anything about the Lebanon war. 180 00:20:57,006 --> 00:21:00,509 Just one image in my mind. 181 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:04,054 Somehow you're in it. 182 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:06,890 What image? 183 00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:46,472 Were you there too? 184 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,142 It's hard to say. 185 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,228 What do you mean? Were you there? 186 00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:53,813 It's hard to say. 187 00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:57,483 I don't remember anything about the massacre. 188 00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:02,655 But you were in Beirut when the massacre took place. 189 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:04,532 Yes, I remember being there. 190 00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:06,909 I'll never forget us marching into Beirut. 191 00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:10,788 But the massacre how did you say it? 192 00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:12,998 That's not stored in my system. 193 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,043 - Right. - Massacre 194 00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:57,626 Then it happened in a taxi to Amsterdam airport 195 00:22:57,793 --> 00:23:01,213 suddenly all the memories came back. 196 00:23:01,422 --> 00:23:04,216 Not a hallucination nor my subconscious. 197 00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:09,388 The first day of the war. Barely 19, I haven't even started shaving. 198 00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:12,224 We're driving down a road. Orchards on one side, 199 00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:17,563 the sea on the other. We're shooting everywhere 200 00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:19,607 at everything, until nightfall. 201 00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:28,741 That evening, when we stopped, an officer tells me: 202 00:23:28,866 --> 00:23:32,411 "Load up the dead and wounded. 203 00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:35,205 Go and dump them." 204 00:23:35,456 --> 00:23:38,584 - _ "dump?" - "Yes, dump." 205 00:23:38,792 --> 00:23:40,419 "Where?" 206 00:23:40,878 --> 00:23:47,009 "How should I know? Out there, near that bright light. 207 00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:49,470 That's where they're dumped." 208 00:23:56,143 --> 00:24:00,064 So I drive all the way back. 209 00:24:00,397 --> 00:24:05,319 I had never seen an open wound or any kind of bleeding before. 210 00:24:05,486 --> 00:24:08,781 Now I was in command of a tank 211 00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:12,952 full of the dead and wounded, looking for a bright light, salvation. 212 00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:23,629 What should we do? Why don't you tell us what to do? 213 00:24:24,213 --> 00:24:26,006 - Shoot. - At who? 214 00:24:26,423 --> 00:24:28,425 How do I know? Just shoot. 215 00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:31,971 - Isn't it better to pray? - Then pray and shoot. 216 00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:47,987 Finally we see the helicopter lights. Like halos. 217 00:24:48,112 --> 00:24:53,325 As we get closer to the light, we see dead and wounded everywhere. 218 00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:33,532 We unload mechanically, as if we're not even present. 219 00:25:33,657 --> 00:25:36,535 Then we turn around and drive off. 220 00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:05,939 On the first day of the war, 221 00:26:06,106 --> 00:26:07,900 I transported the dead and wounded 222 00:26:09,318 --> 00:26:12,821 from tanks on the coast road. 223 00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:15,657 I'm looking for people who were with me. 224 00:26:15,783 --> 00:26:19,078 Could your men have been among them? 225 00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:24,958 It sounds logical we were in the coastal area. 226 00:26:25,292 --> 00:26:27,711 In the western sector it's possible. 227 00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:31,840 Do you recognize me here? 228 00:26:35,052 --> 00:26:36,095 No. 229 00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:41,100 I don't recognize myself either. 230 00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:59,743 Crossing the border at rosh hanikra, felt like an excursion. 231 00:26:59,868 --> 00:27:00,868 We took photos, 232 00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:03,038 we told jokes 233 00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:08,502 we had time to fool around before going into action. 234 00:27:09,962 --> 00:27:16,802 Good morning, Lebanon 235 00:27:17,177 --> 00:27:23,475 good morning, Lebanon 236 00:27:24,351 --> 00:27:30,983 too much pain to carry on 237 00:27:31,692 --> 00:27:37,739 good morning, Lebanon 238 00:27:37,990 --> 00:27:41,869 the landscape was beautiful, trees all around, 239 00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:47,833 a few scattered houses a really idyllic pastoral scene. 240 00:27:47,958 --> 00:27:52,796 The slow drive allowed us to enjoy the scenery. 241 00:27:53,046 --> 00:27:59,636 May your dreams come true 242 00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:07,144 may your nightmares pass 243 00:28:07,978 --> 00:28:12,941 your existence is a blessing, Lebanon 244 00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:17,196 in a tank, you always feel really safe. 245 00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:22,367 A tank is a very massive enclosed vehicle. 246 00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:24,536 Inside the tank, 247 00:28:24,745 --> 00:28:25,913 we were protected. 248 00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:36,381 You are torn to pieces 249 00:28:36,924 --> 00:28:43,931 you bleed to death in my arms 250 00:28:44,223 --> 00:28:47,559 you bleed to death in my arms 251 00:28:47,893 --> 00:28:51,396 you are the love of my life 252 00:28:51,605 --> 00:28:57,986 oh, my short, short life 253 00:28:58,820 --> 00:29:05,077 tear me to pieces 254 00:29:06,036 --> 00:29:09,039 I'm bleeding 255 00:29:12,626 --> 00:29:17,923 suddenly our commander stopped responding. We lost contact. 256 00:29:18,048 --> 00:29:19,758 - Was he beside you? - Yes. 257 00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:25,013 I saw his head slumped forward. 258 00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:30,435 I went down inside and saw blood, blood in the tank. 259 00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:36,024 The blood was coming from his neck. 260 00:29:39,111 --> 00:29:43,490 - You were next in command? - Yes, I was. 261 00:29:43,615 --> 00:29:46,451 But I didn't react immediately. 262 00:29:46,952 --> 00:29:51,623 We just stayed in the tank without even thinking of firing back. 263 00:29:55,836 --> 00:29:57,796 Two minutes later, 264 00:29:57,921 --> 00:30:01,133 there was an explosion. Everyone tried to escape from the tank hysterically 265 00:30:05,304 --> 00:30:08,724 without weapons or anything 266 00:30:08,890 --> 00:30:11,310 those who stayed inside, were killed in the tank. 267 00:30:18,066 --> 00:30:21,153 I ran as fast as I could 268 00:30:21,278 --> 00:30:23,655 in zigzags towards the sea. 269 00:30:43,842 --> 00:30:45,344 My only thought: 270 00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:49,639 It's over. I'm done for. 271 00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:54,728 They'll be here any minute. All I can do is wait for the end. 272 00:31:01,318 --> 00:31:05,364 I saw the building from which they were shooting, and the commander. 273 00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:10,702 I hoped he'd get closer. 274 00:31:38,021 --> 00:31:41,900 I don't know why, but he started to retreat. 275 00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:58,750 I felt abandoned by our forces. 276 00:32:03,296 --> 00:32:07,968 I imagined how my mother would react. 277 00:32:08,135 --> 00:32:13,014 We're very close. I was always like her right hand. 278 00:32:13,140 --> 00:32:17,018 I'm the only one who helps out at home. 279 00:32:17,477 --> 00:32:20,230 Like the firstborn son. 280 00:32:23,692 --> 00:32:28,572 I took a peek. I saw them chatting, smoking. 281 00:32:28,655 --> 00:32:30,407 I wondered why 282 00:32:31,074 --> 00:32:32,868 they didn't notice me. 283 00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:40,959 I peeked a few more times, I realized that they probably thought 284 00:32:41,126 --> 00:32:44,129 that everyone was killed in the attack. 285 00:32:44,254 --> 00:32:47,632 I decided to wait until dark. 286 00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:50,177 I had a good place to hide. 287 00:32:59,478 --> 00:33:02,189 I don't know why, but I decided 288 00:33:02,272 --> 00:33:04,524 to crawl out to the sea. 289 00:33:10,030 --> 00:33:15,952 I didn't want to stay close to shore, so I swam quite far out. 290 00:33:17,370 --> 00:33:22,375 When I felt I was far out enough I started swimming south. 291 00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:23,502 How was the sea? 292 00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:27,839 Really calm, no waves. 293 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,843 I felt calm and at peace. Just me and the sea. 294 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,904 I felt safe, because the sea was calm and peaceful. 295 00:33:51,071 --> 00:33:54,449 But I was still really afraid 296 00:33:55,492 --> 00:33:58,870 that my strength would fail and I'd drown. 297 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:04,042 Or maybe someone might spot me and shoot at me, kill me. 298 00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:18,723 While swimming through this peaceful water, 299 00:34:18,848 --> 00:34:22,894 I suddenly heard a loud noise. 300 00:34:23,478 --> 00:34:25,188 I felt the water pulsating. 301 00:34:25,522 --> 00:34:27,899 I felt the turbulent water enveloping me. 302 00:34:28,024 --> 00:34:32,404 My body shook with fear. 303 00:35:04,603 --> 00:35:09,274 I saw lights in the distance and I headed in that direction. 304 00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:12,277 They might be Israeli forces. 305 00:35:12,444 --> 00:35:16,781 I kept swimming but felt my strength was dwindling. 306 00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:18,950 I could barely move my limbs. 307 00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:35,133 Sometimes I simply let the water carry me along. 308 00:35:44,142 --> 00:35:46,811 I eventually reached shore and started walking. 309 00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:51,316 I heard voices speaking Hebrew on the two-way radio. 310 00:35:52,734 --> 00:35:54,778 I knew 311 00:35:56,071 --> 00:35:59,491 that I had to get to them despite my exhaustion. 312 00:36:07,916 --> 00:36:12,003 To my amazement, it was the regiment that had abandoned me. 313 00:36:16,091 --> 00:36:19,969 After I got back to my regiment, 314 00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:21,805 I felt like 315 00:36:24,432 --> 00:36:27,894 like it was me who had abandoned my comrades. 316 00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:31,356 I always felt that they regarded me like 317 00:36:34,192 --> 00:36:38,571 like someone who didn't help rescue his friends. 318 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:46,538 As if I had fled the battlefield just to save my own skin. 319 00:36:46,705 --> 00:36:48,206 I sometimes felt very uneasy. 320 00:36:48,289 --> 00:36:51,543 I broke off contact with the families of the dead. 321 00:36:51,793 --> 00:36:59,008 At first I visited their graves, but then I just stopped. 322 00:36:59,426 --> 00:37:02,887 I wanted to forget. I didn't want to relive those moments. 323 00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:09,060 - Visiting the graves, you felt - guilty. 324 00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:12,814 I felt guilty standing at their graves. 325 00:37:12,939 --> 00:37:15,525 As if I didn't do enough. 326 00:37:15,900 --> 00:37:17,485 I didn't do enough. 327 00:37:17,777 --> 00:37:23,867 I wasn't the hero type who carries weapons and saves everyone's life. 328 00:37:23,950 --> 00:37:26,953 That's not me. I'm not the type. 329 00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:08,661 I bombed sidon today 330 00:38:09,996 --> 00:38:14,667 amid the clouds of smoke at dawn 331 00:38:15,627 --> 00:38:19,881 I almost went home in a coffin 332 00:38:20,965 --> 00:38:24,302 I bombed sidon today 333 00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:32,143 one month after Ronnie dayag swam back home safely, 334 00:38:32,644 --> 00:38:36,481 the army took the beach from which he had fled. 335 00:38:36,606 --> 00:38:40,527 They told us we'd soon attack Beirut and that we'd all die. 336 00:38:40,985 --> 00:38:45,782 But on the beach, we didn't think much about death. 337 00:38:45,865 --> 00:38:48,201 I had a hut of banana leaves. 338 00:38:48,618 --> 00:38:50,745 Thinking back, 339 00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:55,834 the smell of patchouli oil still makes me nauseous. 340 00:38:57,460 --> 00:39:02,465 It was really popular in the '80s. For my roommate frenkel, 341 00:39:02,632 --> 00:39:07,512 patchouli was not just a fragrance, it was a way of life. 342 00:39:37,333 --> 00:39:40,253 Patchouli how do you use it? 343 00:39:40,545 --> 00:39:41,880 Show me. 344 00:39:43,548 --> 00:39:47,552 You sprinkle a drop on your hand, like this. 345 00:39:56,477 --> 00:39:57,645 This way, 346 00:39:57,979 --> 00:40:00,773 your comrades always know you're there. 347 00:40:01,482 --> 00:40:04,944 I remember my men telling me: 348 00:40:05,528 --> 00:40:10,658 "Frenkel, you walk too fast. Like a rabbit." 349 00:40:12,994 --> 00:40:14,662 So what do you do? Patchouli! 350 00:40:15,413 --> 00:40:21,127 In the dark, at night they couldn't miss me! 351 00:40:21,586 --> 00:40:24,756 The scent is really strong, even out in the field. 352 00:40:25,798 --> 00:40:27,342 I still use it. 353 00:40:29,385 --> 00:40:33,097 I bombed Beirut today 354 00:40:34,807 --> 00:40:38,645 I bombed Beirut every day 355 00:40:40,146 --> 00:40:44,609 if I came close to death I couldn't say 356 00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:48,947 I bombed Beirut every day 357 00:40:50,698 --> 00:40:54,160 at the pull of a trigger 358 00:40:55,954 --> 00:40:59,207 we can send strangers straight to hell 359 00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:05,755 sure, we kill some innocent along the way 360 00:41:06,673 --> 00:41:10,969 if I came close to death I couldn't say 361 00:41:11,970 --> 00:41:15,098 I bombed Beirut every day 362 00:41:16,099 --> 00:41:19,102 our daily routine was this: 363 00:41:19,727 --> 00:41:21,312 Get up in the morning, 364 00:41:22,730 --> 00:41:27,276 prepare breakfast on those frying pans, 365 00:41:27,402 --> 00:41:29,654 potted beef and eggs. 366 00:41:30,196 --> 00:41:31,864 - On the beach. - On the beach. 367 00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:33,866 Take a quick swim, 368 00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:38,079 back into uniform, then go after some terrorists. 369 00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:07,835 Someone yelled, "frenkel!" 370 00:43:09,754 --> 00:43:12,090 I noticed a boy holding an rpg. 371 00:43:12,507 --> 00:43:13,841 A kid. 372 00:43:27,688 --> 00:43:29,774 Frenkel, was I there too? 373 00:43:30,274 --> 00:43:35,238 Sure. From training camp, you were with me wherever I went. 374 00:43:35,571 --> 00:43:37,573 - Even there? - Yes, there too. 375 00:43:38,574 --> 00:43:41,619 Good to know. Of course I was there. 376 00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:47,917 Is it possible that I can't remember such a dramatic event? 377 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:49,752 We call them โ€œdissociative eventsโ€œ. 378 00:43:50,211 --> 00:43:54,632 It's when a person is in a situation but feels outside it. 379 00:43:54,799 --> 00:43:59,137 I was once visited by a young man, an amateur photographer. 380 00:43:59,262 --> 00:44:03,432 I asked him in 1983, โ€œhow did you survive through that gruelling war?โ€œ 381 00:44:03,558 --> 00:44:07,728 he replied, "it was quite easy. I regarded it as a long day-trip." 382 00:44:07,812 --> 00:44:11,983 He told himself, "wow! What great scenes: 383 00:44:12,108 --> 00:44:15,361 Shooting, artillery, wounded people, screaming 384 00:44:15,486 --> 00:44:20,950 he looked at everything as if through an imaginary camera. 385 00:44:34,088 --> 00:44:36,966 Then something happened: 386 00:44:37,216 --> 00:44:39,343 His 'camera' broke. 387 00:44:52,398 --> 00:44:55,318 He said that the situation turned traumatic for him 388 00:44:55,443 --> 00:45:00,406 when they arrived in the vicinity of the stables in Beirut. 389 00:45:00,573 --> 00:45:01,824 The hippodrome. 390 00:45:01,949 --> 00:45:06,204 He saw a huge number of carcasses 391 00:45:06,370 --> 00:45:10,333 of slaughtered arabian horses. 392 00:45:10,499 --> 00:45:15,630 "It broke my heart.", he said. "What had those horses done 393 00:45:15,755 --> 00:45:18,716 to deserve such suffering?โ€œ 394 00:45:18,841 --> 00:45:22,637 he couldn't handle seeing those dead and wounded horses. 395 00:45:22,762 --> 00:45:25,306 He had used a mechanism to remain outside events, 396 00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:29,685 as if watching the war on film instead of participating. 397 00:45:29,810 --> 00:45:31,979 This protected him. 398 00:45:32,188 --> 00:45:37,318 Once pulled into the events, he could no longer deny reality. 399 00:45:37,401 --> 00:45:41,280 Horror surrounded him and he freaked out. 400 00:45:48,788 --> 00:45:53,209 You told me earlier that you can't remember being in the orchard 401 00:45:53,292 --> 00:45:55,920 where the boy with the rpg was. 402 00:45:56,420 --> 00:45:59,423 Can you remember other things? Like going home, 403 00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:02,843 chatting with friends, events from that time, 404 00:46:03,094 --> 00:46:07,348 something that maybe reminds you of that time? 405 00:46:07,556 --> 00:46:10,768 - Yes, in detail. - For example? 406 00:46:10,893 --> 00:46:13,771 I can remember perfectly every furlough. 407 00:47:03,863 --> 00:47:08,117 I remember when I was about 10, there was a war going on. 408 00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:11,746 And everything came to a halt. All the fathers were at the front. 409 00:47:12,121 --> 00:47:14,999 All children sat with their mothers closed up indoors, 410 00:47:15,333 --> 00:47:19,295 behind closed blinds in the dark. 411 00:47:19,754 --> 00:47:23,507 Just waiting for a plane to drop a bomb and kill them all. 412 00:47:24,967 --> 00:47:27,762 No one even dreamed of going outside. 413 00:47:29,430 --> 00:47:34,435 When I went home from Lebanon for the first time in six weeks, 414 00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:37,480 and saw that life was carrying on normally. 415 00:47:49,909 --> 00:47:55,081 My goal on leave was to get back my girlfriend yaeli. 416 00:47:55,206 --> 00:47:57,708 She had dumped me the night before all of this started. 417 00:48:19,271 --> 00:48:23,484 Remember how? Add some sprite 418 00:48:23,859 --> 00:48:25,277 ready? 419 00:48:30,491 --> 00:48:31,491 Bottoms up! 420 00:48:35,496 --> 00:48:37,706 The memories are coming back. 421 00:48:37,832 --> 00:48:43,003 I met people who served with me. I almost have the full picture. 422 00:48:43,379 --> 00:48:46,590 - At which point? - The first day of the war, 423 00:48:46,757 --> 00:48:49,260 the siege on Beirut. 424 00:48:49,427 --> 00:48:51,637 You remember that yaeli dumped you a week before? 425 00:48:52,596 --> 00:48:54,515 How do you know? 426 00:48:57,852 --> 00:49:01,063 Didn't you know that I was in love with her for years? 427 00:49:03,023 --> 00:49:05,693 No, I didn't know that. 428 00:49:06,277 --> 00:49:07,277 It's true. 429 00:49:09,947 --> 00:49:12,408 What's wrong? That was 20 years ago. 430 00:49:12,533 --> 00:49:15,286 It's ok. I'm not angry. 431 00:49:17,997 --> 00:49:20,958 At least you had your home, your family. 432 00:49:21,125 --> 00:49:24,378 What home? What family? 433 00:49:25,171 --> 00:49:26,172 You have no idea. 434 00:49:27,131 --> 00:49:28,132 My father 435 00:49:30,676 --> 00:49:34,305 to comfort me, he told me that in his war, 436 00:49:34,555 --> 00:49:36,390 world war ii 437 00:49:37,141 --> 00:49:38,517 Russian soldiers in stalingrad 438 00:49:39,018 --> 00:49:42,146 were given 48 hours leave only after one year on the front. 439 00:49:51,655 --> 00:49:56,494 They got on a train, arrived home at the station, 440 00:49:57,369 --> 00:49:59,663 kissed their girlfriends on the platform, 441 00:49:59,830 --> 00:50:04,210 then had to get back on board to head back to the front. 442 00:50:04,835 --> 00:50:05,920 Understand? 443 00:50:09,673 --> 00:50:14,512 He thought it would comfort me. In fact, he was right. 444 00:50:14,595 --> 00:50:18,307 After only 24 hours I was called back to duty. 445 00:50:18,432 --> 00:50:21,560 Back then, a new trend started: Car bombs. 446 00:50:22,186 --> 00:50:23,938 Still popular today. 447 00:50:24,104 --> 00:50:26,190 They're a blast! 448 00:50:27,024 --> 00:50:28,609 A real blast! 449 00:50:30,569 --> 00:50:34,907 So I arrive at this villa on the outskirts of Beirut. 450 00:50:41,413 --> 00:50:44,124 Everything is made of gold. 451 00:50:44,250 --> 00:50:48,254 Fancy sinks, marble, gold fixtures and all that stuff. 452 00:50:50,714 --> 00:50:55,094 An officer sits in front of the TV. He doesn't look at me. 453 00:50:55,261 --> 00:50:58,806 He keeps repeating: "Fast forward." 454 00:51:00,015 --> 00:51:01,725 Fast forward. 455 00:51:02,434 --> 00:51:03,769 The plumber comes 2 456 00:51:03,978 --> 00:51:08,482 - I'm here to check your plumbing. - Down here. 457 00:51:13,821 --> 00:51:16,699 - Have you seen my tool? - Which tool? 458 00:51:17,074 --> 00:51:18,909 The big long one. 459 00:51:21,954 --> 00:51:24,331 Your pipes are so deep! 460 00:51:24,415 --> 00:51:25,624 Fast forward. 461 00:51:37,177 --> 00:51:38,512 Stop! 462 00:51:40,097 --> 00:51:43,225 Hello. Is that your red Mercedes outside? 463 00:51:43,517 --> 00:51:46,353 I'm busy servicing a customer! 464 00:51:50,774 --> 00:51:53,777 He changes the tape and says: 465 00:51:53,861 --> 00:51:57,156 We received a tip-off about a red Mercedes. 466 00:51:57,489 --> 00:52:00,117 - It's coming to blow up your men. - So? 467 00:52:00,451 --> 00:52:02,494 Blow it up first. 468 00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:06,248 - Every red Mercedes? - Are you an idiot? 469 00:52:06,915 --> 00:52:08,959 Did the Mercedes come? 470 00:52:09,543 --> 00:52:13,380 We waited all night for the exploding Mercedes, 471 00:52:13,631 --> 00:52:17,635 for this impending disaster. 472 00:52:55,422 --> 00:53:00,344 Then, in the middle of the night, the phone rang. 473 00:53:01,512 --> 00:53:03,180 Bashir is dead. 474 00:53:04,390 --> 00:53:06,016 - Which bashir? - Bashir gemayel, 475 00:53:06,308 --> 00:53:08,352 the elected president of Lebanon. 476 00:53:09,228 --> 00:53:13,565 A brother, an ally, a Christian. Murdered. 477 00:53:14,191 --> 00:53:18,529 Wake everyone up. You'll be in Beirut in two hours! 478 00:53:18,862 --> 00:53:22,574 I don't remember much about the flight to Beirut, 479 00:53:22,700 --> 00:53:26,912 except that I was having obsessive thoughts about death. 480 00:53:27,037 --> 00:53:31,208 Because my girlfriend yaeli had dumped me the week before. 481 00:53:31,333 --> 00:53:34,712 Death would be my revenge. 482 00:53:34,878 --> 00:53:37,715 She would be ridden with guilt 483 00:53:38,090 --> 00:53:39,383 for the rest of her life. 484 00:53:43,887 --> 00:53:47,224 While fantasizing about my death, 485 00:53:47,391 --> 00:53:49,226 we approach Beirut. 486 00:53:49,601 --> 00:53:51,520 A city with hotels, beaches, 487 00:53:52,020 --> 00:53:54,231 and people scurrying about. 488 00:53:54,732 --> 00:53:57,651 We land at the international airport. 489 00:53:57,985 --> 00:54:03,782 Our Hercules army helicopter lands next to jets from air France, two, 490 00:54:03,949 --> 00:54:05,534 and British airways. 491 00:54:06,076 --> 00:54:10,038 I was excited like I was going on a trip abroad, 492 00:54:10,164 --> 00:54:12,249 excited all over. 493 00:54:20,466 --> 00:54:22,509 At some point I simply take off 494 00:54:22,843 --> 00:54:24,887 and walk into the terminal. 495 00:54:26,180 --> 00:54:29,391 It felt as if I was on a leisure trip, 496 00:54:30,267 --> 00:54:32,102 a sort of hallucination. 497 00:54:32,269 --> 00:54:34,897 Like standing in a terminal 498 00:54:35,022 --> 00:54:38,942 waiting to choose my destination. 499 00:54:39,109 --> 00:54:42,321 Before that '80s departures board, 500 00:54:42,488 --> 00:54:46,408 the choice is all mine. 501 00:54:46,617 --> 00:54:49,787 I see the 14:10 to London, 502 00:54:49,953 --> 00:54:52,164 the 15:20 to Paris, 503 00:54:52,289 --> 00:54:54,583 the 16:00 to New York 504 00:54:55,959 --> 00:55:00,339 I wander through the terminal and see the duty-free shops: 505 00:55:00,464 --> 00:55:03,175 Jewellery, tobacco, 506 00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:04,968 alcohol 507 00:55:05,219 --> 00:55:09,681 while I'm still on this trip, I suddenly realize what's going on. 508 00:55:09,890 --> 00:55:13,644 Through the window I see 509 00:55:13,769 --> 00:55:18,732 that all the two and air France planes are just bombed-out shells. 510 00:55:19,858 --> 00:55:22,194 And the shops are empty, 511 00:55:22,319 --> 00:55:23,862 they've long since been looted. 512 00:55:23,987 --> 00:55:28,826 And the schedule board hasn't changed for months. 513 00:55:30,285 --> 00:55:33,330 Then I start to hear sounds, voices. 514 00:55:33,455 --> 00:55:38,460 I hear shelling in the city and the bombing by the air force. 515 00:55:38,585 --> 00:55:40,629 Slowly I begin to realize where I am 516 00:55:40,712 --> 00:55:43,340 and I am afraid of what will happen next. 517 00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:52,516 We start walking from the airport to the city. 518 00:55:52,850 --> 00:55:56,395 Tall high-rise hotels hover above us. 519 00:55:57,062 --> 00:55:59,022 The sea is at our side. 520 00:56:07,114 --> 00:56:12,786 We walk along a promenade towards a large junction. 521 00:56:13,745 --> 00:56:18,667 Then we come under sniper fire from the upper floors of a hotel. 522 00:56:19,877 --> 00:56:25,382 We can't see where it's coming from or who is shooting. 523 00:56:25,591 --> 00:56:30,762 A wounded soldier was lying at the junction, but we couldn't get to him. 524 00:56:31,263 --> 00:56:33,056 We were scared to death. 525 00:56:45,944 --> 00:56:48,238 Then, in the middle of this hell, 526 00:56:48,363 --> 00:56:53,035 that TV correspondent Ron Ben-yishai suddenly shows up. 527 00:56:53,619 --> 00:56:59,041 He's walking upright, dodging bullets like Superman. 528 00:56:59,166 --> 00:57:03,754 Strolling along as if nothing's wrong, while bullets whiz past him. 529 00:57:03,921 --> 00:57:08,258 In front of him, a terrified cameraman crawls forward. 530 00:57:08,425 --> 00:57:13,180 Trembling with fear, he can't see beyond his helmet. 531 00:57:13,847 --> 00:57:16,600 It was a large junction. 532 00:57:16,934 --> 00:57:22,814 One Lane led directly into hamra street, 533 00:57:23,523 --> 00:57:27,110 to the west Beirut district of hamra. 534 00:57:27,361 --> 00:57:31,365 I remember the sizzling sound, a sort of hissing noise 535 00:57:31,531 --> 00:57:36,244 they were firing masses of rpgs, and it sounded 536 00:57:36,453 --> 00:57:38,413 like a native American arrow-shooting range. 537 00:57:38,538 --> 00:57:43,293 Before an rpg explodes, it makes this hissing noise. 538 00:57:44,544 --> 00:57:47,756 You don't hear an explosion, 539 00:57:47,923 --> 00:57:52,386 but just this hissing, then the walls shattering. 540 00:57:52,469 --> 00:57:59,184 During all this, civilians are seen on balconies: 541 00:57:59,351 --> 00:58:01,103 Women, children, 542 00:58:01,269 --> 00:58:06,483 and old people are watching as if it were a film. 543 00:58:19,037 --> 00:58:24,501 They are shooting at us from all directions. 544 00:58:30,340 --> 00:58:33,343 And we can't get across. 545 00:58:33,635 --> 00:58:37,180 Throughout my military service I was a mag shooter. 546 00:58:37,681 --> 00:58:41,101 During my officer's training, I thought, 547 00:58:41,226 --> 00:58:44,646 "you've used a mag for so long, why not try something else?" 548 00:58:44,771 --> 00:58:45,939 So they gave me a galil. 549 00:58:46,815 --> 00:58:53,071 And while they're shooting at us from all directions, 550 00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:59,036 I realize that I can't shoot with the galil like I could before. 551 00:58:59,286 --> 00:59:03,832 I missed the good old mag that I was familiar with. 552 00:59:04,791 --> 00:59:08,295 So I say to erez, "erez, do me a favour. 553 00:59:11,089 --> 00:59:15,385 Give me your mag. I won't make it across with the galil. 554 00:59:15,552 --> 00:59:18,638 Give me your mag and we'll cross the street. 555 00:59:19,222 --> 00:59:20,223 I'll shoot better." 556 00:59:21,391 --> 00:59:24,978 He says, "frenkel, are you nuts? 557 00:59:25,103 --> 00:59:29,941 They're attacking us! Stop babbling and shoot!" 558 00:59:32,819 --> 00:59:35,113 I finally realize that I must 559 00:59:35,614 --> 00:59:38,492 take drastic steps. I grab him and say, 560 00:59:38,825 --> 00:59:45,248 "listen, erez, give me the mag, or I'll take it by force!" 561 01:00:10,107 --> 01:00:12,317 Whether an eternity or just a minute, 562 01:00:12,776 --> 01:00:14,736 there was frenkel at the junction 563 01:00:14,861 --> 01:00:18,573 with bullets flying past him in every direction. 564 01:00:19,116 --> 01:00:21,910 Instead of crossing the junction, 565 01:00:22,077 --> 01:00:25,372 I saw him dancing, as if in a trance. 566 01:00:26,456 --> 01:00:30,710 He cursed the shooters. Like he wanted to stay there forever. 567 01:00:30,836 --> 01:00:35,132 As if he wanted to show off his waltz amid the gunfire, 568 01:00:35,465 --> 01:00:38,135 with the posters of bashir above his head. 569 01:00:38,426 --> 01:00:41,012 And bashir's followers 570 01:00:41,138 --> 01:00:44,850 preparing their big revenge just 200 yards away: 571 01:00:45,142 --> 01:00:49,146 The sabra and shatila massacre. 572 01:00:59,197 --> 01:01:02,325 I'm starting to remember. 573 01:01:03,076 --> 01:01:06,204 I've met people, I've heard stories 574 01:01:06,371 --> 01:01:08,707 stories about myself. 575 01:01:08,832 --> 01:01:10,417 I didn't want to believe them. 576 01:01:12,711 --> 01:01:15,797 So what can't you remember? 577 01:01:16,423 --> 01:01:21,511 The day of the massacre. I can remember everything else. 578 01:01:22,262 --> 01:01:26,266 I don't understand why people were so surprised 579 01:01:26,516 --> 01:01:29,019 that the phalangists carried out the massacre. 580 01:01:29,686 --> 01:01:33,023 I knew all along how ruthless they were. 581 01:01:38,236 --> 01:01:42,199 During the storming of Beirut we were in the slaughterhouse. 582 01:01:42,365 --> 01:01:45,410 - Where? - The slaughterhouse, that junk yard 583 01:01:45,660 --> 01:01:51,249 where they took the Palestinians, interrogated them, and executed them. 584 01:01:52,042 --> 01:01:54,878 It was like being on an LSD trip. 585 01:02:02,719 --> 01:02:06,014 They carried body parts of murdered Palestinians 586 01:02:06,097 --> 01:02:08,183 preserved in jars of formaldehyde. 587 01:02:10,769 --> 01:02:15,440 They had fingers, eyeballs, anything you wanted. 588 01:02:21,238 --> 01:02:24,074 And always pictures of bashir. 589 01:02:24,741 --> 01:02:28,411 Bashir pendants, bashir watches, bashir this, bashir that 590 01:02:28,578 --> 01:02:34,751 bashir was to them what David bowie was to me. 591 01:02:34,918 --> 01:02:39,422 A star, an idol, a prince, admirable. 592 01:02:40,507 --> 01:02:43,385 I think they even felt an eroticism for him. 593 01:02:44,094 --> 01:02:45,762 Totally erotic. 594 01:02:47,264 --> 01:02:52,352 Their idol was about to become king. We were the ones to crown him. 595 01:02:52,769 --> 01:02:55,021 The next day he was murdered. 596 01:02:55,355 --> 01:02:58,942 It was obvious they'd avenge his death in some perverse way. 597 01:03:00,193 --> 01:03:02,737 It was as if their wife had been murdered. 598 01:03:03,238 --> 01:03:06,116 This was about family honour, which runs deep. 599 01:03:10,078 --> 01:03:11,413 Why did you come back? 600 01:03:11,913 --> 01:03:17,294 I'm still having these hallucinations about the massacre on the beach. 601 01:03:18,503 --> 01:03:20,880 And you're there with me. 602 01:04:00,295 --> 01:04:02,047 You're crazy. 603 01:04:02,964 --> 01:04:04,924 You're obsessed. 604 01:04:05,342 --> 01:04:09,637 Beach? What are you talking about? Who was on the beach that night? 605 01:04:09,721 --> 01:04:11,222 What beach? 606 01:04:23,443 --> 01:04:25,862 I've reached a dead end. 607 01:04:26,571 --> 01:04:30,492 I can't find anyone who was with me at the massacre. 608 01:04:31,534 --> 01:04:34,704 No one who was with me 609 01:04:34,829 --> 01:04:39,084 has any solid memories of the days of the massacre. 610 01:04:40,168 --> 01:04:42,420 I only have this one vision. 611 01:04:43,505 --> 01:04:49,427 And carmi, the only person in my vision, denies being there with me. 612 01:04:49,552 --> 01:04:52,222 - It's still real. - It's a vision. 613 01:04:52,347 --> 01:04:55,058 - But it's yours. Shall I explain? - Yes. 614 01:04:55,767 --> 01:05:00,397 What does the sea symbolize in dreams? Fear. Feelings. 615 01:05:01,481 --> 01:05:06,236 The massacre frightens you, makes you uneasy. You were close to it. 616 01:05:06,403 --> 01:05:08,321 That doesn't help me much. 617 01:05:08,446 --> 01:05:12,867 Your interest in the massacre developed long before it happened. 618 01:05:12,951 --> 01:05:14,261 Your interest in the massacre stems from another massacre. 619 01:05:14,285 --> 01:05:17,580 Your interest in those camps is actually about the "other" camps. 620 01:05:17,789 --> 01:05:21,751 - Were your parents in camps? - Yes. 621 01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:25,755 - Auschwitz? - Yes. 622 01:05:26,756 --> 01:05:31,511 So the massacre has been with you since you were six. 623 01:05:31,845 --> 01:05:34,848 You lived through the massacre and those camps. 624 01:05:35,432 --> 01:05:40,103 Your only solution is to find out what really happened 625 01:05:40,895 --> 01:05:44,232 in sabra and shatila. Seek out people. 626 01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:47,360 Find out what really happened, ask who was there. 627 01:05:47,694 --> 01:05:51,656 Get details and more details. That way 628 01:05:52,824 --> 01:05:57,203 then maybe you can find out where you were exactly, 629 01:05:57,328 --> 01:05:58,955 and what role you played. 630 01:06:08,339 --> 01:06:13,761 On that day we were sent to a certain post. 631 01:06:14,012 --> 01:06:16,389 It was actually on a hill. This hill 632 01:06:16,473 --> 01:06:21,978 was opposite the western sector of the refugee camp. 633 01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:27,984 From where I was, I could see the settlement houses. 634 01:06:28,151 --> 01:06:31,237 There was occasional shooting. We tried to locate them 635 01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:32,321 and retaliate. 636 01:06:38,244 --> 01:06:40,872 The Christian phalangist forces began to arrive. 637 01:06:41,206 --> 01:06:44,667 In full kit, soldiers in Israeli uniforms 638 01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:47,337 took position behind tanks. 639 01:06:48,588 --> 01:06:53,092 I was called for a briefing. It was in English. 640 01:06:53,885 --> 01:06:58,306 - What was it about? - They told us that the christians 641 01:06:58,473 --> 01:07:02,143 would enter the camp and we would give them cover. 642 01:07:02,644 --> 01:07:06,064 Once they had purged the camps, 643 01:07:06,231 --> 01:07:08,525 we would seize control. 644 01:07:08,858 --> 01:07:11,778 - Purged of what? - Palestinian terrorists. 645 01:08:02,870 --> 01:08:06,374 The next morning, they began to bring out civilians. 646 01:08:13,339 --> 01:08:18,803 The civilians were led out of the camps 647 01:08:18,928 --> 01:08:21,264 in a long line. 648 01:08:22,932 --> 01:08:26,811 The phalangists watched on, constantly shouting at them 649 01:08:26,978 --> 01:08:29,063 and occasionally firing into the air. 650 01:08:30,773 --> 01:08:32,775 There were women, old people, 651 01:08:32,859 --> 01:08:37,780 and children walking in a line towards the stadium. 652 01:08:39,907 --> 01:08:45,997 From inside in the tank, did you wonder where they were taking them? 653 01:08:46,205 --> 01:08:47,624 Did you think about it? 654 01:08:49,667 --> 01:08:52,211 Not really, because wherever we went, 655 01:08:52,295 --> 01:08:54,422 an announcement was made upon entering a camp. 656 01:08:54,589 --> 01:09:00,845 Civilians were ordered out. Those remaining were considered rebels. 657 01:09:01,679 --> 01:09:07,143 It seemed quite natural to say to the residents, 658 01:09:07,602 --> 01:09:09,979 "if you don't want to get hurt, then come out!" 659 01:09:33,836 --> 01:09:39,050 On that day I drove to docha, a city on the coast. 660 01:09:39,467 --> 01:09:43,721 It had an Israel defense forces landing field. 661 01:09:45,306 --> 01:09:46,306 On the way, 662 01:09:46,474 --> 01:09:49,268 many phalangist half-track vehicles appeared. 663 01:09:49,394 --> 01:09:56,234 They shouted with joy as they headed towards the airfield. 664 01:09:56,484 --> 01:10:00,697 At the airfield, I met a colonel friend. 665 01:10:01,155 --> 01:10:03,199 He told me, 666 01:10:04,367 --> 01:10:07,578 "have you heard what's happening in the refugee camps?" 667 01:10:07,704 --> 01:10:10,456 He had pointed to sabra and shatila. 668 01:10:10,957 --> 01:10:13,626 "What's happening?" I asked. 669 01:10:14,335 --> 01:10:19,757 "I didn't witness it myself, but they say there was a terrible massacre." 670 01:10:20,049 --> 01:10:27,265 Palestinians were slaughtered. I heard they put them on trucks. 671 01:10:27,390 --> 01:10:31,102 I was told that crucifixes were carved on their chests. 672 01:10:31,227 --> 01:10:37,442 There were wounded, some in critical condition. 673 01:10:37,817 --> 01:10:41,028 They were put on trucks and taken to an unknown destination. 674 01:10:50,496 --> 01:10:54,167 We saw a phalangist soldier 675 01:10:54,333 --> 01:10:56,586 taking an old man away. 676 01:10:59,547 --> 01:11:02,800 At some point we heard shots. 677 01:11:03,926 --> 01:11:05,803 We heard shots. 678 01:11:06,721 --> 01:11:09,766 Then the soldier came out alone. 679 01:11:10,558 --> 01:11:14,103 We asked him what happened. 680 01:11:14,270 --> 01:11:17,440 We couldn't hear him, but his gestures meant "boom!" 681 01:11:17,732 --> 01:11:21,652 We understood that he'd told the man to kneel down before him. 682 01:11:21,778 --> 01:11:26,449 When he refused, he shot his knees. When he refused again, 683 01:11:26,824 --> 01:11:31,746 he shot him in the stomach and head. 684 01:11:35,583 --> 01:11:39,295 Didn't you ever realize 685 01:11:39,754 --> 01:11:42,089 that trucks were going in empty and coming out full, 686 01:11:42,298 --> 01:11:46,928 women and children were brought out and bulldozers went in? 687 01:11:47,261 --> 01:11:51,557 That maybe a massacre is taking place? 688 01:11:51,808 --> 01:11:55,228 Did you wonder why you didn't realize earlier? 689 01:11:57,605 --> 01:11:59,524 Yes, of course. 690 01:12:00,483 --> 01:12:06,489 I realized something was happening only when my men told me. 691 01:12:06,906 --> 01:12:09,033 From the top of their tanks, 692 01:12:09,283 --> 01:12:14,163 they started shouting, "they are shooting people!" 693 01:12:26,717 --> 01:12:30,721 They claim that people were lined up against the wall and shot. 694 01:12:31,514 --> 01:12:35,434 So I called my commanding officer. 695 01:12:36,477 --> 01:12:40,690 I told him what I heard was going on in the camps. 696 01:12:42,233 --> 01:12:46,696 He said, "we know about it. It's under control. We reported it." 697 01:12:47,113 --> 01:12:51,617 As far as I was concerned, the army was handling it. 698 01:12:51,742 --> 01:12:55,788 Where was the operations room, the headquarters? 699 01:12:56,789 --> 01:13:01,210 About 100 yards away. On top of a very tall building. 700 01:13:01,377 --> 01:13:05,548 - How tall? - Tall enough to see everything. 701 01:13:05,673 --> 01:13:08,551 They surely had a better view than I did. 702 01:13:34,619 --> 01:13:38,080 I didn't want to walk around at night, so I drove 703 01:13:38,247 --> 01:13:43,336 to my place in bahabda. I had an apartment in Beirut. 704 01:13:43,544 --> 01:13:48,466 Micha Friedman was with me. We decided to make dinner. 705 01:13:48,674 --> 01:13:56,098 Micha invited the guys from the regiment of the 211th brigade. 706 01:13:56,349 --> 01:14:00,102 During the meal, the regiment commander took me aside. 707 01:14:01,646 --> 01:14:04,357 He said: "Ron, 708 01:14:04,607 --> 01:14:08,069 my men say there's a massacre going on in the camps." 709 01:14:08,444 --> 01:14:10,571 He mentioned one or two incidents, 710 01:14:10,780 --> 01:14:14,533 saying a family was seen shot. 711 01:14:14,617 --> 01:14:20,206 I asked him again, "did you see it yourself?โ€œ 712 01:14:21,374 --> 01:14:27,296 "I didn't", he said, "but my soldiers told me about it. 713 01:14:27,463 --> 01:14:33,177 The officers sitting here did, too." We talked about it over dinner later. 714 01:14:33,886 --> 01:14:36,138 As soon as they left at 11:30 pm, 715 01:14:37,056 --> 01:14:41,560 I knocked back a whiskey and phoned defense minister arik Sharon. 716 01:14:43,145 --> 01:14:45,147 At his ranch. 717 01:14:45,481 --> 01:14:49,110 Arik was half asleep. 718 01:14:49,652 --> 01:14:55,533 I said, "I've heard there's a massacre going on, arik. 719 01:14:56,200 --> 01:15:00,830 They are slaughtering Palestinians. We have to put a stop to it." 720 01:15:01,831 --> 01:15:05,334 He asked me, "did you see it yourself?โ€œ 721 01:15:07,003 --> 01:15:13,175 "no", I said, "but there are several witnesses who saw it." 722 01:15:13,676 --> 01:15:15,428 "Okay", he said. 723 01:15:15,928 --> 01:15:19,598 "Thanks for bringing it to my attention." That was all. 724 01:15:19,807 --> 01:15:23,310 You'd normally say, โ€œI'll check it out, I'll look into it." But no! 725 01:15:24,061 --> 01:15:29,567 He said, "thanks for bringing it to my attention. Happy new year!" 726 01:15:30,109 --> 01:15:33,696 Well, something along those lines. Then back to sleep! 727 01:15:33,863 --> 01:15:36,866 It's amazing. A massacre took place, 728 01:15:37,199 --> 01:15:40,953 it was carried out by Christian phalangists. 729 01:15:43,080 --> 01:15:47,418 All around were several circles of our soldiers 730 01:15:48,794 --> 01:15:51,213 every circle had some information. 731 01:15:51,547 --> 01:15:54,175 The first one had the most. However, 732 01:15:54,467 --> 01:15:57,344 the penny didn't drop. 733 01:15:58,179 --> 01:16:00,723 They didn't realize they were witnessing a genocide. 734 01:16:01,057 --> 01:16:02,433 What circle were you in? 735 01:16:02,975 --> 01:16:05,352 In the second or third. 736 01:16:05,853 --> 01:16:09,106 What did you do? 737 01:16:10,900 --> 01:16:14,653 We stood on a roof and saw the sky was lit up. 738 01:16:15,905 --> 01:16:19,158 - With what? - Flares. 739 01:16:19,241 --> 01:16:22,244 Flares that must have helped them do what they were doing. 740 01:16:29,585 --> 01:16:31,462 Did you fire the flares? 741 01:16:31,879 --> 01:16:33,089 Is that important? 742 01:16:33,672 --> 01:16:36,592 Does it make any difference if I fired them 743 01:16:37,551 --> 01:16:41,597 or if I just saw the flares that helped people shoot others? 744 01:16:43,599 --> 01:16:47,103 In your state of mind at that time, it didn't really make a difference. 745 01:16:47,895 --> 01:16:51,482 You can't remember the massacre because in your opinion, 746 01:16:52,108 --> 01:16:56,362 the murderers and those around them are the same circle. 747 01:16:56,904 --> 01:16:59,907 You felt guilty at the age of 19. 748 01:17:00,282 --> 01:17:02,535 Unwillingly, you took on the role of the Nazi. 749 01:17:02,827 --> 01:17:07,456 You were there firing flares, but you didn't carry out the massacre. 750 01:17:22,847 --> 01:17:27,810 I woke up at 5 or 5;30, and I woke everyone up, 751 01:17:28,561 --> 01:17:30,479 the whole team. 752 01:17:31,147 --> 01:17:34,233 Then I drove to sabra and shatila. 753 01:17:35,693 --> 01:17:37,444 When I arrived there 754 01:17:38,487 --> 01:17:40,489 what a mess! 755 01:17:41,866 --> 01:17:46,579 You know that picture from the Warsaw ghetto? 756 01:17:47,621 --> 01:17:51,876 The one with the kid holding his hands in the air? 757 01:17:54,003 --> 01:17:56,297 That's just how the long line of women, 758 01:17:56,797 --> 01:17:59,800 old people and children looked. 759 01:18:00,342 --> 01:18:04,180 I thought about going to brigadier Amos's headquarters, 760 01:18:04,513 --> 01:18:08,767 but as I was leaving, Amos suddenly turned up. 761 01:18:09,101 --> 01:18:11,103 He drove to the head of the convoy. 762 01:18:11,270 --> 01:18:15,691 His angry gestures forced them to stop. 763 01:18:16,025 --> 01:18:19,236 And that was the end of it. 764 01:18:19,695 --> 01:18:21,780 Stop the shooting! 765 01:18:21,947 --> 01:18:24,366 Stop the shooting, immediately! 766 01:18:25,201 --> 01:18:27,786 It's no stop shooting! 767 01:18:28,454 --> 01:18:31,874 Immediately! Everybody go home! 768 01:18:32,541 --> 01:18:34,501 Go home, now! 769 01:18:49,225 --> 01:18:52,228 The phalangists withdrew back up the street. 770 01:18:52,394 --> 01:18:57,191 The women and children returned to the camp. 771 01:18:57,274 --> 01:18:59,652 - The Palestinians? - Yes. 772 01:19:07,618 --> 01:19:12,414 I said to my men, "we're going in with them 773 01:19:12,581 --> 01:19:14,333 with those women and children. 774 01:19:16,252 --> 01:19:19,588 We'll see what happened in there." 775 01:19:20,089 --> 01:19:22,925 Inside the camp we saw a huge amount of rubble. 776 01:19:23,425 --> 01:19:25,552 My eye caught 777 01:19:26,053 --> 01:19:28,264 a hand, a small hand. 778 01:19:28,430 --> 01:19:33,978 A child's hand stuck out from the rubble. 779 01:19:34,937 --> 01:19:39,608 I looked a bit closer and saw curls. 780 01:19:40,943 --> 01:19:46,740 A head of curls covered in dust. It was hard to make out. 781 01:19:46,907 --> 01:19:53,289 But it was a head, exposed up to the nose. 782 01:19:54,790 --> 01:19:56,667 A hand and a head. 783 01:19:56,875 --> 01:20:00,713 My own daughter was the same age as that little girl. 784 01:20:01,338 --> 01:20:04,675 And she had curly hair, too. 785 01:20:09,680 --> 01:20:13,767 The Palestinians in refugee camps have houses with courtyards. 786 01:20:14,268 --> 01:20:17,479 These courtyards were full of bodies of women and children. 787 01:20:17,646 --> 01:20:19,773 The young men had been shot first. 788 01:20:19,898 --> 01:20:24,153 Then the rest of the family was dealt with. 789 01:20:26,030 --> 01:20:29,992 We entered one alley, a very narrow alley 790 01:20:30,159 --> 01:20:32,953 the width of a man and a half. 791 01:20:33,662 --> 01:20:36,498 That alley was full 792 01:20:36,999 --> 01:20:42,463 piled up to the height of a man's chest 793 01:20:42,629 --> 01:20:44,506 with the bodies of young men. 794 01:20:45,341 --> 01:20:49,887 That's when I became aware of the results of the massacre. 59424

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