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1
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,734
They stand there, barking.
26 dogs.
2
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:16,363
I see their mean faces.
They've come to kill.
3
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,908
And they tell my boss bertold:
4
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:25,706
"Give us boaz rein, or we'll eat
your customers. In 1 minute!โ
5
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,999
- 26 dogs?
- Exactly.
6
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:31,962
How do you know
there are 26 and not 30?
7
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:34,381
I'm coming to that.
8
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,138
- Well?
- Well what?
9
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:46,101
- Do you check it out?
- What do you think happens?
10
00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:51,231
- I wake up!
- At that point every time?
11
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,734
Exacfly. It always stops there.
12
00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:56,570
- Since when?
- Two and a half years.
13
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,740
- And you call me now, at this hour?
- Asshole!
14
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,033
Don't call me an asshole.
15
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,997
This dream is coming from somewhere.
16
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,917
- I haven't told you everything.
- Like what?
17
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,420
You know, in Lebanon
18
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,213
what about Lebanon?
19
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:19,509
At the start of the war,
we went into Lebanese villages
20
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,929
to search for wanted Palestinians.
21
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:25,223
Yeah, and?
22
00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:46,745
When someone enters a village,
the dogs smell and bark to alert.
23
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:52,793
Everyone wakes up,
and the fugitives take off.
24
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:57,172
Someone had to liquidate them.
Otherwise our men would have died.
25
00:04:58,507 --> 00:05:00,634
But why you?
26
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:04,596
They knew I couldn't shoot a person.
They told me:
27
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,809
"Go ahead and shoot the dogs!"
28
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:29,746
26 dogs,
I remember every single one.
29
00:05:29,955 --> 00:05:35,377
Every face, every wound,
the look in their eyes 26 dogs.
30
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,755
How long before they started
appearing in your dreams?
31
00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,340
20 years.
32
00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:44,344
- Have you tried anything?
- Like what?
33
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:48,515
Therapy, a psychiatrist,
shiatsu, anything
34
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,434
no, nothing. I called you.
35
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,353
I'm just a filmmaker!
36
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,522
Can't films be therapeutic?
37
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:59,234
You've dealt with all the issues
in your films, right?
38
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,404
But nothing like this.
39
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,364
No flashbacks from Lebanon?
40
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,535
No. Not really.
41
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,537
Are you sure?
42
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:13,874
No.
43
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,334
- Beirut, sabra and shatila?
- What about that?
44
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:19,671
You were only 100 yards away
from the massacre!
45
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,592
More like 200 or 300 yards.
46
00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:25,510
The truth is
that's not stored in my system.
47
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:31,349
No flashbacks or dreams?
You never think about it?
48
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:33,226
No, no.
49
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,312
No.
50
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,236
You'll be okay, huh?
51
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,906
- You think so?
- Sure.
52
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:49,409
- You're sure?
- Yes. I'll think of something.
53
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,537
- Sure?
- Sure.
54
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,662
The meeting with boaz
took place in winter, 2006.
55
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:38,041
That night,
for the first time in 20 years,
56
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:41,419
I had a flashback
of the war in Lebanon.
57
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:46,091
Not just Lebanon, west Beirut.
Not just Beirut,
58
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:50,512
but the massacre
at the sabra and shatila refugee camps.
59
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:20,477
What's wrong?
It's 6:30 in the morning!
60
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:28,068
We all have friends
who are lawyers, doctors, therapists
61
00:09:28,359 --> 00:09:31,029
sometimes that friendship costs them.
62
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:34,824
But you wouldn't
wake your lawyer friend at 6:30!
63
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:38,078
My lawyer is 10 times cheaper than you!
64
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,122
I just don't understand.
65
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:47,629
Why boaz's dream with the dogs?
66
00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:53,593
Why that to jog my memory?
It has nothing to do with me.
67
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:58,723
Memory is fascinating.
Take this psychological experiment
68
00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:08,483
a group of people were shown
10 various childhood images.
69
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,987
Nine were really from their childhood
and one was fake:
70
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:19,828
Their portrait was pasted
into a fairground they never visited.
71
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:27,794
Eighty percent recognized themselves
72
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:31,506
they recognized the fake photo as real!
73
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:34,634
Twenty percent couldn't remember.
74
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,220
The researchers asked them again.
75
00:10:38,012 --> 00:10:41,015
The second time, the others said
that they remembered the image.
76
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:46,646
"Such a wonderful day at the park
with my parents."
77
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:49,774
They remembered
a completely fabricated experience.
78
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:54,529
Memory is dynamic. It's alive.
79
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,949
If some details are missing,
80
00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:02,745
memory fills the holes
with things that never happened.
81
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:12,005
So my vision of the massacre
is like the fake photo?
82
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:16,759
It never happened?
I invented it? It's not real?
83
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:20,180
I don't know.
Who was there with you?
84
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:24,017
Carmi was there.
You know him from school.
85
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:28,146
And someone else I don't recognize.
86
00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:33,193
- So go ask carmi what he remembers.
- He's in Holland.
87
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:35,737
He's lived there for 20 years.
88
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:40,700
Go to Holland and ask him
if it bothers you.
89
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:41,867
Isn't that dangerous?
90
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:45,705
Maybe I'll discover things
I don't want to know about myself?
91
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,041
Not at all.
92
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:53,046
You'll discover important things
that you want to know.
93
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:57,300
We don't go places
where we really don't want to.
94
00:11:57,508 --> 00:12:01,763
A human mechanism
prevents us from entering dark places.
95
00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:06,142
Memory takes us
where we need to go.
96
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:43,972
See all that?
97
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:47,642
Yes.
98
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,310
It's all mine.
99
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:54,023
All of it?
100
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,944
From those trees to the river.
101
00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,405
- It all belongs to you?
- Yes, and the house.
102
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,116
It's about 10 acres.
103
00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:09,372
- All that just from selling falafel?
- Just from falafel!
104
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:12,250
- Wow!
- Come and see.
105
00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:20,133
- How much falafel did you sell?
- Three years was enough.
106
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:24,804
In the early '90s
I had a small stand in utrecht.
107
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:29,976
Health food was in fashion.
The middle east too
108
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:32,770
falafel is both healthy
and middle eastern.
109
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:37,483
Everyone thought you'd become
a nuclear physicist.
110
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,069
Who did?
111
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:44,282
I don't know, your family,
my family, our school friends.
112
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:49,704
They thought that by the age of 40
you'd be nominated for a nobel prize.
113
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,373
By 20, that future was over.
114
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,335
Cold?
115
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:59,380
- Cold? I'm freezing!
- Let's go inside.
116
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,843
We have to walk all that way?
117
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:07,430
It's funny you've showed up now.
118
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,682
- Why?
- When you called
119
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:14,687
I had just gone out with my son Thomas.
He's seven.
120
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:19,192
He was playing with a toy gun
and started asking questions.
121
00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:22,362
"What did you do in the army?
Ever shoot anyone?"
122
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,822
- Did you?
- I don't know.
123
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,618
Let's go inside and warm up.
124
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:34,665
Would you mind if I sketch
you and your son playing in the snow?
125
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:35,832
No.
126
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:39,670
Not at all. Draw as much as you like.
127
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,506
I'll fetch him.
128
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,592
It's fine as long as you draw,
but don't film.
129
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:59,709
As strange as it sounds,
we were transported to war
130
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:05,965
on a little "love boatโ
leased by the army or god knows what.
131
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:10,845
They wanted to mislead the enemy
and launch a surprise attack.
132
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:16,767
What do you mean a "love boat"?
With jacuzzis and bars?
133
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:22,315
- All of that?
- That's how I imagined it.
134
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:30,031
I later found out it was
just an old commando boat.
135
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:34,994
For 18 you seemed pretty bright to me.
I never took you for a fighter.
136
00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:39,290
Frankly, it was important to me
for a pretty practical reason.
137
00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:43,753
I felt like everyone else
was screwing like rabbits,
138
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:46,839
and that I was the only
how can I put it?
139
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,635
The only nerd good at chess and math
140
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:56,015
but with masculinity problems.
So I had to prove to everyone
141
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:59,477
that I was the best fighter
and some big hero.
142
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,521
Did you succeed?
143
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,190
Yes, surprisingly enough.
144
00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,860
I felt that I was strong and capable.
145
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:15,201
Then the war started and
they put us on that damned "love boat".
146
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:19,247
- Then I - you what?
147
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:24,418
I puked like a pig!
I wondered what the enemy would think.
148
00:17:26,254 --> 00:17:29,048
I finally collapsed on deck
and fell asleep.
149
00:17:30,174 --> 00:17:32,385
I sleep when I'm scared.
150
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:37,223
To this day,
I escape into sleep and hallucinate.
151
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,933
Unconscious on the deck,
152
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:29,692
dreaming a woman would come
153
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,699
and take me for the first time,
154
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:44,915
I saw my best friends
go up in flames before my eyes.
155
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,169
- Where?
- On the boat.
156
00:19:21,535 --> 00:19:25,915
I woke up just before we docked.
It's dawn, and we're in a city.
157
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,501
- Which city?
- How should I know?
158
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:31,170
Sidon, I think.
159
00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:36,258
Out of pure fear and anxiety
we start shooting like lunatics.
160
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:41,847
- At whom?
- How do I know?
161
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,769
Then an old Mercedes drives up.
162
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,563
Everyone fires at it like crazy.
163
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,696
Two years of training,
and the fear,
164
00:19:56,779 --> 00:19:59,073
the uncontrollable fear
165
00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:06,956
then the silence.
The terrible silence of death.
166
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,251
At daybreak
167
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:16,674
we could see our destruction,
168
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:21,470
without knowing where we were.
169
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,515
Lying in the car
170
00:20:25,975 --> 00:20:27,518
what was in the car?
171
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:30,271
The bodies of a whole family.
172
00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:33,399
Why did you come here?
173
00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:36,110
Me? I
174
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:38,529
I lost my memory.
175
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,365
- In an accident?
- What?
176
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:44,326
- Did you have an accident?
- What do you mean?
177
00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,414
In a car or at work?
178
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,583
No, I didn't have an accident.
179
00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:56,589
I just can't remember anything
about the Lebanon war.
180
00:20:57,006 --> 00:21:00,509
Just one image in my mind.
181
00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:04,054
Somehow you're in it.
182
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:06,890
What image?
183
00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:46,472
Were you there too?
184
00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:50,142
It's hard to say.
185
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,228
What do you mean?
Were you there?
186
00:21:52,561 --> 00:21:53,813
It's hard to say.
187
00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:57,483
I don't remember anything
about the massacre.
188
00:21:58,484 --> 00:22:02,655
But you were in Beirut
when the massacre took place.
189
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:04,532
Yes, I remember being there.
190
00:22:04,615 --> 00:22:06,909
I'll never forget
us marching into Beirut.
191
00:22:07,827 --> 00:22:10,788
But the massacre
how did you say it?
192
00:22:11,038 --> 00:22:12,998
That's not stored in my system.
193
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,043
- Right.
- Massacre
194
00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:57,626
Then it happened in a taxi
to Amsterdam airport
195
00:22:57,793 --> 00:23:01,213
suddenly all the memories came back.
196
00:23:01,422 --> 00:23:04,216
Not a hallucination
nor my subconscious.
197
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:09,388
The first day of the war. Barely 19,
I haven't even started shaving.
198
00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:12,224
We're driving down a road.
Orchards on one side,
199
00:23:12,391 --> 00:23:17,563
the sea on the other.
We're shooting everywhere
200
00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:19,607
at everything, until nightfall.
201
00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:28,741
That evening, when we stopped,
an officer tells me:
202
00:23:28,866 --> 00:23:32,411
"Load up the dead and wounded.
203
00:23:32,578 --> 00:23:35,205
Go and dump them."
204
00:23:35,456 --> 00:23:38,584
- _ "dump?"
- "Yes, dump."
205
00:23:38,792 --> 00:23:40,419
"Where?"
206
00:23:40,878 --> 00:23:47,009
"How should I know?
Out there, near that bright light.
207
00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:49,470
That's where they're dumped."
208
00:23:56,143 --> 00:24:00,064
So I drive all the way back.
209
00:24:00,397 --> 00:24:05,319
I had never seen an open wound
or any kind of bleeding before.
210
00:24:05,486 --> 00:24:08,781
Now I was in command of a tank
211
00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:12,952
full of the dead and wounded,
looking for a bright light, salvation.
212
00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:23,629
What should we do?
Why don't you tell us what to do?
213
00:24:24,213 --> 00:24:26,006
- Shoot.
- At who?
214
00:24:26,423 --> 00:24:28,425
How do I know? Just shoot.
215
00:24:28,592 --> 00:24:31,971
- Isn't it better to pray?
- Then pray and shoot.
216
00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:47,987
Finally we see the helicopter lights.
Like halos.
217
00:24:48,112 --> 00:24:53,325
As we get closer to the light,
we see dead and wounded everywhere.
218
00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:33,532
We unload mechanically,
as if we're not even present.
219
00:25:33,657 --> 00:25:36,535
Then we turn around and drive off.
220
00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:05,939
On the first day of the war,
221
00:26:06,106 --> 00:26:07,900
I transported the dead and wounded
222
00:26:09,318 --> 00:26:12,821
from tanks on the coast road.
223
00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:15,657
I'm looking for people who were with me.
224
00:26:15,783 --> 00:26:19,078
Could your men have been among them?
225
00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:24,958
It sounds logical
we were in the coastal area.
226
00:26:25,292 --> 00:26:27,711
In the western sector
it's possible.
227
00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:31,840
Do you recognize me here?
228
00:26:35,052 --> 00:26:36,095
No.
229
00:26:37,679 --> 00:26:41,100
I don't recognize myself either.
230
00:26:55,114 --> 00:26:59,743
Crossing the border at rosh hanikra,
felt like an excursion.
231
00:26:59,868 --> 00:27:00,868
We took photos,
232
00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:03,038
we told jokes
233
00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:08,502
we had time to fool around
before going into action.
234
00:27:09,962 --> 00:27:16,802
Good morning, Lebanon
235
00:27:17,177 --> 00:27:23,475
good morning, Lebanon
236
00:27:24,351 --> 00:27:30,983
too much pain to carry on
237
00:27:31,692 --> 00:27:37,739
good morning, Lebanon
238
00:27:37,990 --> 00:27:41,869
the landscape was beautiful,
trees all around,
239
00:27:42,202 --> 00:27:47,833
a few scattered houses
a really idyllic pastoral scene.
240
00:27:47,958 --> 00:27:52,796
The slow drive allowed us
to enjoy the scenery.
241
00:27:53,046 --> 00:27:59,636
May your dreams come true
242
00:28:00,596 --> 00:28:07,144
may your nightmares pass
243
00:28:07,978 --> 00:28:12,941
your existence is a blessing, Lebanon
244
00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:17,196
in a tank, you always feel really safe.
245
00:28:17,362 --> 00:28:22,367
A tank is a very massive
enclosed vehicle.
246
00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:24,536
Inside the tank,
247
00:28:24,745 --> 00:28:25,913
we were protected.
248
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:36,381
You are torn to pieces
249
00:28:36,924 --> 00:28:43,931
you bleed to death in my arms
250
00:28:44,223 --> 00:28:47,559
you bleed to death in my arms
251
00:28:47,893 --> 00:28:51,396
you are the love of my life
252
00:28:51,605 --> 00:28:57,986
oh, my short, short life
253
00:28:58,820 --> 00:29:05,077
tear me to pieces
254
00:29:06,036 --> 00:29:09,039
I'm bleeding
255
00:29:12,626 --> 00:29:17,923
suddenly our commander
stopped responding. We lost contact.
256
00:29:18,048 --> 00:29:19,758
- Was he beside you?
- Yes.
257
00:29:19,925 --> 00:29:25,013
I saw his head slumped forward.
258
00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:30,435
I went down inside and saw blood,
blood in the tank.
259
00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:36,024
The blood was coming from his neck.
260
00:29:39,111 --> 00:29:43,490
- You were next in command?
- Yes, I was.
261
00:29:43,615 --> 00:29:46,451
But I didn't react immediately.
262
00:29:46,952 --> 00:29:51,623
We just stayed in the tank
without even thinking of firing back.
263
00:29:55,836 --> 00:29:57,796
Two minutes later,
264
00:29:57,921 --> 00:30:01,133
there was an explosion. Everyone tried
to escape from the tank hysterically
265
00:30:05,304 --> 00:30:08,724
without weapons or anything
266
00:30:08,890 --> 00:30:11,310
those who stayed inside,
were killed in the tank.
267
00:30:18,066 --> 00:30:21,153
I ran as fast as I could
268
00:30:21,278 --> 00:30:23,655
in zigzags towards the sea.
269
00:30:43,842 --> 00:30:45,344
My only thought:
270
00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:49,639
It's over. I'm done for.
271
00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:54,728
They'll be here any minute.
All I can do is wait for the end.
272
00:31:01,318 --> 00:31:05,364
I saw the building from which they
were shooting, and the commander.
273
00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:10,702
I hoped he'd get closer.
274
00:31:38,021 --> 00:31:41,900
I don't know why,
but he started to retreat.
275
00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:58,750
I felt abandoned by our forces.
276
00:32:03,296 --> 00:32:07,968
I imagined how my mother would react.
277
00:32:08,135 --> 00:32:13,014
We're very close.
I was always like her right hand.
278
00:32:13,140 --> 00:32:17,018
I'm the only one
who helps out at home.
279
00:32:17,477 --> 00:32:20,230
Like the firstborn son.
280
00:32:23,692 --> 00:32:28,572
I took a peek.
I saw them chatting, smoking.
281
00:32:28,655 --> 00:32:30,407
I wondered why
282
00:32:31,074 --> 00:32:32,868
they didn't notice me.
283
00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:40,959
I peeked a few more times,
I realized that they probably thought
284
00:32:41,126 --> 00:32:44,129
that everyone was killed in the attack.
285
00:32:44,254 --> 00:32:47,632
I decided to wait until dark.
286
00:32:47,799 --> 00:32:50,177
I had a good place to hide.
287
00:32:59,478 --> 00:33:02,189
I don't know why, but I decided
288
00:33:02,272 --> 00:33:04,524
to crawl out to the sea.
289
00:33:10,030 --> 00:33:15,952
I didn't want to stay close to shore,
so I swam quite far out.
290
00:33:17,370 --> 00:33:22,375
When I felt I was far out enough
I started swimming south.
291
00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:23,502
How was the sea?
292
00:33:23,668 --> 00:33:27,839
Really calm, no waves.
293
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:31,843
I felt calm and at peace.
Just me and the sea.
294
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,904
I felt safe, because the sea
was calm and peaceful.
295
00:33:51,071 --> 00:33:54,449
But I was still really afraid
296
00:33:55,492 --> 00:33:58,870
that my strength would fail
and I'd drown.
297
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:04,042
Or maybe someone might spot me
and shoot at me, kill me.
298
00:34:14,886 --> 00:34:18,723
While swimming through
this peaceful water,
299
00:34:18,848 --> 00:34:22,894
I suddenly heard a loud noise.
300
00:34:23,478 --> 00:34:25,188
I felt the water pulsating.
301
00:34:25,522 --> 00:34:27,899
I felt the turbulent water
enveloping me.
302
00:34:28,024 --> 00:34:32,404
My body shook with fear.
303
00:35:04,603 --> 00:35:09,274
I saw lights in the distance
and I headed in that direction.
304
00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:12,277
They might be Israeli forces.
305
00:35:12,444 --> 00:35:16,781
I kept swimming
but felt my strength was dwindling.
306
00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:18,950
I could barely move my limbs.
307
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:35,133
Sometimes I simply
let the water carry me along.
308
00:35:44,142 --> 00:35:46,811
I eventually reached shore
and started walking.
309
00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:51,316
I heard voices speaking Hebrew
on the two-way radio.
310
00:35:52,734 --> 00:35:54,778
I knew
311
00:35:56,071 --> 00:35:59,491
that I had to get to them
despite my exhaustion.
312
00:36:07,916 --> 00:36:12,003
To my amazement, it was
the regiment that had abandoned me.
313
00:36:16,091 --> 00:36:19,969
After I got back to my regiment,
314
00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:21,805
I felt like
315
00:36:24,432 --> 00:36:27,894
like it was me who had
abandoned my comrades.
316
00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:31,356
I always felt
that they regarded me like
317
00:36:34,192 --> 00:36:38,571
like someone who didn't help
rescue his friends.
318
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:46,538
As if I had fled the battlefield
just to save my own skin.
319
00:36:46,705 --> 00:36:48,206
I sometimes felt very uneasy.
320
00:36:48,289 --> 00:36:51,543
I broke off contact
with the families of the dead.
321
00:36:51,793 --> 00:36:59,008
At first I visited their graves,
but then I just stopped.
322
00:36:59,426 --> 00:37:02,887
I wanted to forget.
I didn't want to relive those moments.
323
00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:09,060
- Visiting the graves, you felt
- guilty.
324
00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:12,814
I felt guilty standing at their graves.
325
00:37:12,939 --> 00:37:15,525
As if I didn't do enough.
326
00:37:15,900 --> 00:37:17,485
I didn't do enough.
327
00:37:17,777 --> 00:37:23,867
I wasn't the hero type who carries
weapons and saves everyone's life.
328
00:37:23,950 --> 00:37:26,953
That's not me. I'm not the type.
329
00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:08,661
I bombed sidon today
330
00:38:09,996 --> 00:38:14,667
amid the clouds of smoke at dawn
331
00:38:15,627 --> 00:38:19,881
I almost went home in a coffin
332
00:38:20,965 --> 00:38:24,302
I bombed sidon today
333
00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:32,143
one month after Ronnie dayag
swam back home safely,
334
00:38:32,644 --> 00:38:36,481
the army took the beach
from which he had fled.
335
00:38:36,606 --> 00:38:40,527
They told us we'd soon attack Beirut
and that we'd all die.
336
00:38:40,985 --> 00:38:45,782
But on the beach,
we didn't think much about death.
337
00:38:45,865 --> 00:38:48,201
I had a hut of banana leaves.
338
00:38:48,618 --> 00:38:50,745
Thinking back,
339
00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:55,834
the smell of patchouli oil
still makes me nauseous.
340
00:38:57,460 --> 00:39:02,465
It was really popular in the '80s.
For my roommate frenkel,
341
00:39:02,632 --> 00:39:07,512
patchouli was not just a fragrance,
it was a way of life.
342
00:39:37,333 --> 00:39:40,253
Patchouli how do you use it?
343
00:39:40,545 --> 00:39:41,880
Show me.
344
00:39:43,548 --> 00:39:47,552
You sprinkle a drop on your hand,
like this.
345
00:39:56,477 --> 00:39:57,645
This way,
346
00:39:57,979 --> 00:40:00,773
your comrades always know you're there.
347
00:40:01,482 --> 00:40:04,944
I remember my men telling me:
348
00:40:05,528 --> 00:40:10,658
"Frenkel, you walk too fast.
Like a rabbit."
349
00:40:12,994 --> 00:40:14,662
So what do you do? Patchouli!
350
00:40:15,413 --> 00:40:21,127
In the dark, at night
they couldn't miss me!
351
00:40:21,586 --> 00:40:24,756
The scent is really strong,
even out in the field.
352
00:40:25,798 --> 00:40:27,342
I still use it.
353
00:40:29,385 --> 00:40:33,097
I bombed Beirut today
354
00:40:34,807 --> 00:40:38,645
I bombed Beirut every day
355
00:40:40,146 --> 00:40:44,609
if I came close to death
I couldn't say
356
00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:48,947
I bombed Beirut every day
357
00:40:50,698 --> 00:40:54,160
at the pull of a trigger
358
00:40:55,954 --> 00:40:59,207
we can send strangers
straight to hell
359
00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:05,755
sure, we kill some innocent
along the way
360
00:41:06,673 --> 00:41:10,969
if I came close to death
I couldn't say
361
00:41:11,970 --> 00:41:15,098
I bombed Beirut every day
362
00:41:16,099 --> 00:41:19,102
our daily routine was this:
363
00:41:19,727 --> 00:41:21,312
Get up in the morning,
364
00:41:22,730 --> 00:41:27,276
prepare breakfast
on those frying pans,
365
00:41:27,402 --> 00:41:29,654
potted beef and eggs.
366
00:41:30,196 --> 00:41:31,864
- On the beach.
- On the beach.
367
00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:33,866
Take a quick swim,
368
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:38,079
back into uniform,
then go after some terrorists.
369
00:43:05,583 --> 00:43:07,835
Someone yelled, "frenkel!"
370
00:43:09,754 --> 00:43:12,090
I noticed a boy holding an rpg.
371
00:43:12,507 --> 00:43:13,841
A kid.
372
00:43:27,688 --> 00:43:29,774
Frenkel, was I there too?
373
00:43:30,274 --> 00:43:35,238
Sure. From training camp,
you were with me wherever I went.
374
00:43:35,571 --> 00:43:37,573
- Even there?
- Yes, there too.
375
00:43:38,574 --> 00:43:41,619
Good to know. Of course I was there.
376
00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:47,917
Is it possible that I can't remember
such a dramatic event?
377
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:49,752
We call them โdissociative eventsโ.
378
00:43:50,211 --> 00:43:54,632
It's when a person is in a situation
but feels outside it.
379
00:43:54,799 --> 00:43:59,137
I was once visited by a young man,
an amateur photographer.
380
00:43:59,262 --> 00:44:03,432
I asked him in 1983, โhow did you
survive through that gruelling war?โ
381
00:44:03,558 --> 00:44:07,728
he replied, "it was quite easy.
I regarded it as a long day-trip."
382
00:44:07,812 --> 00:44:11,983
He told himself,
"wow! What great scenes:
383
00:44:12,108 --> 00:44:15,361
Shooting, artillery,
wounded people, screaming
384
00:44:15,486 --> 00:44:20,950
he looked at everything
as if through an imaginary camera.
385
00:44:34,088 --> 00:44:36,966
Then something happened:
386
00:44:37,216 --> 00:44:39,343
His 'camera' broke.
387
00:44:52,398 --> 00:44:55,318
He said that the situation
turned traumatic for him
388
00:44:55,443 --> 00:45:00,406
when they arrived in the vicinity of the
stables in Beirut.
389
00:45:00,573 --> 00:45:01,824
The hippodrome.
390
00:45:01,949 --> 00:45:06,204
He saw a huge number of carcasses
391
00:45:06,370 --> 00:45:10,333
of slaughtered arabian horses.
392
00:45:10,499 --> 00:45:15,630
"It broke my heart.", he said.
"What had those horses done
393
00:45:15,755 --> 00:45:18,716
to deserve such suffering?โ
394
00:45:18,841 --> 00:45:22,637
he couldn't handle seeing
those dead and wounded horses.
395
00:45:22,762 --> 00:45:25,306
He had used a mechanism
to remain outside events,
396
00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:29,685
as if watching the war on film
instead of participating.
397
00:45:29,810 --> 00:45:31,979
This protected him.
398
00:45:32,188 --> 00:45:37,318
Once pulled into the events,
he could no longer deny reality.
399
00:45:37,401 --> 00:45:41,280
Horror surrounded him
and he freaked out.
400
00:45:48,788 --> 00:45:53,209
You told me earlier that
you can't remember being in the orchard
401
00:45:53,292 --> 00:45:55,920
where the boy with the rpg was.
402
00:45:56,420 --> 00:45:59,423
Can you remember other things?
Like going home,
403
00:45:59,757 --> 00:46:02,843
chatting with friends,
events from that time,
404
00:46:03,094 --> 00:46:07,348
something that maybe reminds you
of that time?
405
00:46:07,556 --> 00:46:10,768
- Yes, in detail.
- For example?
406
00:46:10,893 --> 00:46:13,771
I can remember perfectly
every furlough.
407
00:47:03,863 --> 00:47:08,117
I remember when I was about 10,
there was a war going on.
408
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:11,746
And everything came to a halt.
All the fathers were at the front.
409
00:47:12,121 --> 00:47:14,999
All children sat with their mothers
closed up indoors,
410
00:47:15,333 --> 00:47:19,295
behind closed blinds in the dark.
411
00:47:19,754 --> 00:47:23,507
Just waiting for a plane to drop a bomb
and kill them all.
412
00:47:24,967 --> 00:47:27,762
No one even dreamed of going outside.
413
00:47:29,430 --> 00:47:34,435
When I went home from Lebanon
for the first time in six weeks,
414
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:37,480
and saw that life
was carrying on normally.
415
00:47:49,909 --> 00:47:55,081
My goal on leave
was to get back my girlfriend yaeli.
416
00:47:55,206 --> 00:47:57,708
She had dumped me the night before
all of this started.
417
00:48:19,271 --> 00:48:23,484
Remember how? Add some sprite
418
00:48:23,859 --> 00:48:25,277
ready?
419
00:48:30,491 --> 00:48:31,491
Bottoms up!
420
00:48:35,496 --> 00:48:37,706
The memories are coming back.
421
00:48:37,832 --> 00:48:43,003
I met people who served with me.
I almost have the full picture.
422
00:48:43,379 --> 00:48:46,590
- At which point?
- The first day of the war,
423
00:48:46,757 --> 00:48:49,260
the siege on Beirut.
424
00:48:49,427 --> 00:48:51,637
You remember
that yaeli dumped you a week before?
425
00:48:52,596 --> 00:48:54,515
How do you know?
426
00:48:57,852 --> 00:49:01,063
Didn't you know
that I was in love with her for years?
427
00:49:03,023 --> 00:49:05,693
No, I didn't know that.
428
00:49:06,277 --> 00:49:07,277
It's true.
429
00:49:09,947 --> 00:49:12,408
What's wrong?
That was 20 years ago.
430
00:49:12,533 --> 00:49:15,286
It's ok. I'm not angry.
431
00:49:17,997 --> 00:49:20,958
At least you had your home,
your family.
432
00:49:21,125 --> 00:49:24,378
What home? What family?
433
00:49:25,171 --> 00:49:26,172
You have no idea.
434
00:49:27,131 --> 00:49:28,132
My father
435
00:49:30,676 --> 00:49:34,305
to comfort me,
he told me that in his war,
436
00:49:34,555 --> 00:49:36,390
world war ii
437
00:49:37,141 --> 00:49:38,517
Russian soldiers in stalingrad
438
00:49:39,018 --> 00:49:42,146
were given 48 hours leave
only after one year on the front.
439
00:49:51,655 --> 00:49:56,494
They got on a train,
arrived home at the station,
440
00:49:57,369 --> 00:49:59,663
kissed their girlfriends
on the platform,
441
00:49:59,830 --> 00:50:04,210
then had to get back on board
to head back to the front.
442
00:50:04,835 --> 00:50:05,920
Understand?
443
00:50:09,673 --> 00:50:14,512
He thought it would comfort me.
In fact, he was right.
444
00:50:14,595 --> 00:50:18,307
After only 24 hours
I was called back to duty.
445
00:50:18,432 --> 00:50:21,560
Back then, a new trend started:
Car bombs.
446
00:50:22,186 --> 00:50:23,938
Still popular today.
447
00:50:24,104 --> 00:50:26,190
They're a blast!
448
00:50:27,024 --> 00:50:28,609
A real blast!
449
00:50:30,569 --> 00:50:34,907
So I arrive at this villa
on the outskirts of Beirut.
450
00:50:41,413 --> 00:50:44,124
Everything is made of gold.
451
00:50:44,250 --> 00:50:48,254
Fancy sinks, marble,
gold fixtures and all that stuff.
452
00:50:50,714 --> 00:50:55,094
An officer sits in front of the TV.
He doesn't look at me.
453
00:50:55,261 --> 00:50:58,806
He keeps repeating:
"Fast forward."
454
00:51:00,015 --> 00:51:01,725
Fast forward.
455
00:51:02,434 --> 00:51:03,769
The plumber comes 2
456
00:51:03,978 --> 00:51:08,482
- I'm here to check your plumbing.
- Down here.
457
00:51:13,821 --> 00:51:16,699
- Have you seen my tool?
- Which tool?
458
00:51:17,074 --> 00:51:18,909
The big long one.
459
00:51:21,954 --> 00:51:24,331
Your pipes are so deep!
460
00:51:24,415 --> 00:51:25,624
Fast forward.
461
00:51:37,177 --> 00:51:38,512
Stop!
462
00:51:40,097 --> 00:51:43,225
Hello.
Is that your red Mercedes outside?
463
00:51:43,517 --> 00:51:46,353
I'm busy servicing a customer!
464
00:51:50,774 --> 00:51:53,777
He changes the tape and says:
465
00:51:53,861 --> 00:51:57,156
We received a tip-off
about a red Mercedes.
466
00:51:57,489 --> 00:52:00,117
- It's coming to blow up your men.
- So?
467
00:52:00,451 --> 00:52:02,494
Blow it up first.
468
00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:06,248
- Every red Mercedes?
- Are you an idiot?
469
00:52:06,915 --> 00:52:08,959
Did the Mercedes come?
470
00:52:09,543 --> 00:52:13,380
We waited all night
for the exploding Mercedes,
471
00:52:13,631 --> 00:52:17,635
for this impending disaster.
472
00:52:55,422 --> 00:53:00,344
Then, in the middle of the night,
the phone rang.
473
00:53:01,512 --> 00:53:03,180
Bashir is dead.
474
00:53:04,390 --> 00:53:06,016
- Which bashir?
- Bashir gemayel,
475
00:53:06,308 --> 00:53:08,352
the elected president of Lebanon.
476
00:53:09,228 --> 00:53:13,565
A brother, an ally, a Christian.
Murdered.
477
00:53:14,191 --> 00:53:18,529
Wake everyone up.
You'll be in Beirut in two hours!
478
00:53:18,862 --> 00:53:22,574
I don't remember much
about the flight to Beirut,
479
00:53:22,700 --> 00:53:26,912
except that I was having
obsessive thoughts about death.
480
00:53:27,037 --> 00:53:31,208
Because my girlfriend yaeli
had dumped me the week before.
481
00:53:31,333 --> 00:53:34,712
Death would be my revenge.
482
00:53:34,878 --> 00:53:37,715
She would be ridden with guilt
483
00:53:38,090 --> 00:53:39,383
for the rest of her life.
484
00:53:43,887 --> 00:53:47,224
While fantasizing about my death,
485
00:53:47,391 --> 00:53:49,226
we approach Beirut.
486
00:53:49,601 --> 00:53:51,520
A city with hotels, beaches,
487
00:53:52,020 --> 00:53:54,231
and people scurrying about.
488
00:53:54,732 --> 00:53:57,651
We land at the international airport.
489
00:53:57,985 --> 00:54:03,782
Our Hercules army helicopter
lands next to jets from air France, two,
490
00:54:03,949 --> 00:54:05,534
and British airways.
491
00:54:06,076 --> 00:54:10,038
I was excited
like I was going on a trip abroad,
492
00:54:10,164 --> 00:54:12,249
excited all over.
493
00:54:20,466 --> 00:54:22,509
At some point I simply take off
494
00:54:22,843 --> 00:54:24,887
and walk into the terminal.
495
00:54:26,180 --> 00:54:29,391
It felt as if I was on a leisure trip,
496
00:54:30,267 --> 00:54:32,102
a sort of hallucination.
497
00:54:32,269 --> 00:54:34,897
Like standing in a terminal
498
00:54:35,022 --> 00:54:38,942
waiting to choose my destination.
499
00:54:39,109 --> 00:54:42,321
Before that '80s departures board,
500
00:54:42,488 --> 00:54:46,408
the choice is all mine.
501
00:54:46,617 --> 00:54:49,787
I see the 14:10 to London,
502
00:54:49,953 --> 00:54:52,164
the 15:20 to Paris,
503
00:54:52,289 --> 00:54:54,583
the 16:00 to New York
504
00:54:55,959 --> 00:55:00,339
I wander through the terminal
and see the duty-free shops:
505
00:55:00,464 --> 00:55:03,175
Jewellery, tobacco,
506
00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:04,968
alcohol
507
00:55:05,219 --> 00:55:09,681
while I'm still on this trip,
I suddenly realize what's going on.
508
00:55:09,890 --> 00:55:13,644
Through the window I see
509
00:55:13,769 --> 00:55:18,732
that all the two and air France planes
are just bombed-out shells.
510
00:55:19,858 --> 00:55:22,194
And the shops are empty,
511
00:55:22,319 --> 00:55:23,862
they've long since been looted.
512
00:55:23,987 --> 00:55:28,826
And the schedule board
hasn't changed for months.
513
00:55:30,285 --> 00:55:33,330
Then I start to hear sounds, voices.
514
00:55:33,455 --> 00:55:38,460
I hear shelling in the city
and the bombing by the air force.
515
00:55:38,585 --> 00:55:40,629
Slowly I begin to realize where I am
516
00:55:40,712 --> 00:55:43,340
and I am afraid
of what will happen next.
517
00:55:48,387 --> 00:55:52,516
We start walking
from the airport to the city.
518
00:55:52,850 --> 00:55:56,395
Tall high-rise hotels
hover above us.
519
00:55:57,062 --> 00:55:59,022
The sea is at our side.
520
00:56:07,114 --> 00:56:12,786
We walk along a promenade
towards a large junction.
521
00:56:13,745 --> 00:56:18,667
Then we come under sniper fire
from the upper floors of a hotel.
522
00:56:19,877 --> 00:56:25,382
We can't see where it's coming from
or who is shooting.
523
00:56:25,591 --> 00:56:30,762
A wounded soldier was lying at the
junction, but we couldn't get to him.
524
00:56:31,263 --> 00:56:33,056
We were scared to death.
525
00:56:45,944 --> 00:56:48,238
Then, in the middle of this hell,
526
00:56:48,363 --> 00:56:53,035
that TV correspondent
Ron Ben-yishai suddenly shows up.
527
00:56:53,619 --> 00:56:59,041
He's walking upright,
dodging bullets like Superman.
528
00:56:59,166 --> 00:57:03,754
Strolling along as if nothing's wrong,
while bullets whiz past him.
529
00:57:03,921 --> 00:57:08,258
In front of him, a terrified cameraman
crawls forward.
530
00:57:08,425 --> 00:57:13,180
Trembling with fear,
he can't see beyond his helmet.
531
00:57:13,847 --> 00:57:16,600
It was a large junction.
532
00:57:16,934 --> 00:57:22,814
One Lane led directly
into hamra street,
533
00:57:23,523 --> 00:57:27,110
to the west Beirut district of hamra.
534
00:57:27,361 --> 00:57:31,365
I remember the sizzling sound,
a sort of hissing noise
535
00:57:31,531 --> 00:57:36,244
they were firing masses of rpgs,
and it sounded
536
00:57:36,453 --> 00:57:38,413
like a native American
arrow-shooting range.
537
00:57:38,538 --> 00:57:43,293
Before an rpg explodes,
it makes this hissing noise.
538
00:57:44,544 --> 00:57:47,756
You don't hear an explosion,
539
00:57:47,923 --> 00:57:52,386
but just this hissing,
then the walls shattering.
540
00:57:52,469 --> 00:57:59,184
During all this,
civilians are seen on balconies:
541
00:57:59,351 --> 00:58:01,103
Women, children,
542
00:58:01,269 --> 00:58:06,483
and old people are watching
as if it were a film.
543
00:58:19,037 --> 00:58:24,501
They are shooting at us
from all directions.
544
00:58:30,340 --> 00:58:33,343
And we can't get across.
545
00:58:33,635 --> 00:58:37,180
Throughout my military service
I was a mag shooter.
546
00:58:37,681 --> 00:58:41,101
During my officer's training, I thought,
547
00:58:41,226 --> 00:58:44,646
"you've used a mag for so long,
why not try something else?"
548
00:58:44,771 --> 00:58:45,939
So they gave me a galil.
549
00:58:46,815 --> 00:58:53,071
And while they're shooting at us
from all directions,
550
00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:59,036
I realize that I can't shoot
with the galil like I could before.
551
00:58:59,286 --> 00:59:03,832
I missed the good old mag
that I was familiar with.
552
00:59:04,791 --> 00:59:08,295
So I say to erez,
"erez, do me a favour.
553
00:59:11,089 --> 00:59:15,385
Give me your mag.
I won't make it across with the galil.
554
00:59:15,552 --> 00:59:18,638
Give me your mag
and we'll cross the street.
555
00:59:19,222 --> 00:59:20,223
I'll shoot better."
556
00:59:21,391 --> 00:59:24,978
He says, "frenkel, are you nuts?
557
00:59:25,103 --> 00:59:29,941
They're attacking us!
Stop babbling and shoot!"
558
00:59:32,819 --> 00:59:35,113
I finally realize that I must
559
00:59:35,614 --> 00:59:38,492
take drastic steps.
I grab him and say,
560
00:59:38,825 --> 00:59:45,248
"listen, erez, give me the mag,
or I'll take it by force!"
561
01:00:10,107 --> 01:00:12,317
Whether an eternity
or just a minute,
562
01:00:12,776 --> 01:00:14,736
there was frenkel at the junction
563
01:00:14,861 --> 01:00:18,573
with bullets flying past him
in every direction.
564
01:00:19,116 --> 01:00:21,910
Instead of crossing the junction,
565
01:00:22,077 --> 01:00:25,372
I saw him dancing, as if in a trance.
566
01:00:26,456 --> 01:00:30,710
He cursed the shooters.
Like he wanted to stay there forever.
567
01:00:30,836 --> 01:00:35,132
As if he wanted to show off
his waltz amid the gunfire,
568
01:00:35,465 --> 01:00:38,135
with the posters of bashir
above his head.
569
01:00:38,426 --> 01:00:41,012
And bashir's followers
570
01:00:41,138 --> 01:00:44,850
preparing their big revenge
just 200 yards away:
571
01:00:45,142 --> 01:00:49,146
The sabra and shatila massacre.
572
01:00:59,197 --> 01:01:02,325
I'm starting to remember.
573
01:01:03,076 --> 01:01:06,204
I've met people,
I've heard stories
574
01:01:06,371 --> 01:01:08,707
stories about myself.
575
01:01:08,832 --> 01:01:10,417
I didn't want to believe them.
576
01:01:12,711 --> 01:01:15,797
So what can't you remember?
577
01:01:16,423 --> 01:01:21,511
The day of the massacre.
I can remember everything else.
578
01:01:22,262 --> 01:01:26,266
I don't understand
why people were so surprised
579
01:01:26,516 --> 01:01:29,019
that the phalangists
carried out the massacre.
580
01:01:29,686 --> 01:01:33,023
I knew all along
how ruthless they were.
581
01:01:38,236 --> 01:01:42,199
During the storming of Beirut
we were in the slaughterhouse.
582
01:01:42,365 --> 01:01:45,410
- Where?
- The slaughterhouse, that junk yard
583
01:01:45,660 --> 01:01:51,249
where they took the Palestinians,
interrogated them, and executed them.
584
01:01:52,042 --> 01:01:54,878
It was like being on an LSD trip.
585
01:02:02,719 --> 01:02:06,014
They carried body parts
of murdered Palestinians
586
01:02:06,097 --> 01:02:08,183
preserved in jars of formaldehyde.
587
01:02:10,769 --> 01:02:15,440
They had fingers, eyeballs,
anything you wanted.
588
01:02:21,238 --> 01:02:24,074
And always pictures of bashir.
589
01:02:24,741 --> 01:02:28,411
Bashir pendants, bashir watches,
bashir this, bashir that
590
01:02:28,578 --> 01:02:34,751
bashir was to them
what David bowie was to me.
591
01:02:34,918 --> 01:02:39,422
A star, an idol,
a prince, admirable.
592
01:02:40,507 --> 01:02:43,385
I think they even felt
an eroticism for him.
593
01:02:44,094 --> 01:02:45,762
Totally erotic.
594
01:02:47,264 --> 01:02:52,352
Their idol was about to become king.
We were the ones to crown him.
595
01:02:52,769 --> 01:02:55,021
The next day he was murdered.
596
01:02:55,355 --> 01:02:58,942
It was obvious they'd avenge his death
in some perverse way.
597
01:03:00,193 --> 01:03:02,737
It was as if their wife
had been murdered.
598
01:03:03,238 --> 01:03:06,116
This was about family honour,
which runs deep.
599
01:03:10,078 --> 01:03:11,413
Why did you come back?
600
01:03:11,913 --> 01:03:17,294
I'm still having these hallucinations
about the massacre on the beach.
601
01:03:18,503 --> 01:03:20,880
And you're there with me.
602
01:04:00,295 --> 01:04:02,047
You're crazy.
603
01:04:02,964 --> 01:04:04,924
You're obsessed.
604
01:04:05,342 --> 01:04:09,637
Beach? What are you talking about?
Who was on the beach that night?
605
01:04:09,721 --> 01:04:11,222
What beach?
606
01:04:23,443 --> 01:04:25,862
I've reached a dead end.
607
01:04:26,571 --> 01:04:30,492
I can't find anyone
who was with me at the massacre.
608
01:04:31,534 --> 01:04:34,704
No one who was with me
609
01:04:34,829 --> 01:04:39,084
has any solid memories
of the days of the massacre.
610
01:04:40,168 --> 01:04:42,420
I only have this one vision.
611
01:04:43,505 --> 01:04:49,427
And carmi, the only person in my vision,
denies being there with me.
612
01:04:49,552 --> 01:04:52,222
- It's still real.
- It's a vision.
613
01:04:52,347 --> 01:04:55,058
- But it's yours. Shall I explain?
- Yes.
614
01:04:55,767 --> 01:05:00,397
What does the sea symbolize in dreams?
Fear. Feelings.
615
01:05:01,481 --> 01:05:06,236
The massacre frightens you,
makes you uneasy. You were close to it.
616
01:05:06,403 --> 01:05:08,321
That doesn't help me much.
617
01:05:08,446 --> 01:05:12,867
Your interest in the massacre developed
long before it happened.
618
01:05:12,951 --> 01:05:14,261
Your interest in the massacre
stems from another massacre.
619
01:05:14,285 --> 01:05:17,580
Your interest in those camps
is actually about the "other" camps.
620
01:05:17,789 --> 01:05:21,751
- Were your parents in camps?
- Yes.
621
01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:25,755
- Auschwitz?
- Yes.
622
01:05:26,756 --> 01:05:31,511
So the massacre has been with you
since you were six.
623
01:05:31,845 --> 01:05:34,848
You lived through the massacre
and those camps.
624
01:05:35,432 --> 01:05:40,103
Your only solution
is to find out what really happened
625
01:05:40,895 --> 01:05:44,232
in sabra and shatila.
Seek out people.
626
01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:47,360
Find out what really happened,
ask who was there.
627
01:05:47,694 --> 01:05:51,656
Get details and more details.
That way
628
01:05:52,824 --> 01:05:57,203
then maybe you can find out
where you were exactly,
629
01:05:57,328 --> 01:05:58,955
and what role you played.
630
01:06:08,339 --> 01:06:13,761
On that day we were sent
to a certain post.
631
01:06:14,012 --> 01:06:16,389
It was actually on a hill.
This hill
632
01:06:16,473 --> 01:06:21,978
was opposite the western sector
of the refugee camp.
633
01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:27,984
From where I was,
I could see the settlement houses.
634
01:06:28,151 --> 01:06:31,237
There was occasional shooting.
We tried to locate them
635
01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:32,321
and retaliate.
636
01:06:38,244 --> 01:06:40,872
The Christian phalangist forces
began to arrive.
637
01:06:41,206 --> 01:06:44,667
In full kit,
soldiers in Israeli uniforms
638
01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:47,337
took position behind tanks.
639
01:06:48,588 --> 01:06:53,092
I was called for a briefing.
It was in English.
640
01:06:53,885 --> 01:06:58,306
- What was it about?
- They told us that the christians
641
01:06:58,473 --> 01:07:02,143
would enter the camp
and we would give them cover.
642
01:07:02,644 --> 01:07:06,064
Once they had purged the camps,
643
01:07:06,231 --> 01:07:08,525
we would seize control.
644
01:07:08,858 --> 01:07:11,778
- Purged of what?
- Palestinian terrorists.
645
01:08:02,870 --> 01:08:06,374
The next morning,
they began to bring out civilians.
646
01:08:13,339 --> 01:08:18,803
The civilians were led out of the camps
647
01:08:18,928 --> 01:08:21,264
in a long line.
648
01:08:22,932 --> 01:08:26,811
The phalangists watched on,
constantly shouting at them
649
01:08:26,978 --> 01:08:29,063
and occasionally firing into the air.
650
01:08:30,773 --> 01:08:32,775
There were women, old people,
651
01:08:32,859 --> 01:08:37,780
and children walking in a line
towards the stadium.
652
01:08:39,907 --> 01:08:45,997
From inside in the tank, did you wonder
where they were taking them?
653
01:08:46,205 --> 01:08:47,624
Did you think about it?
654
01:08:49,667 --> 01:08:52,211
Not really, because wherever we went,
655
01:08:52,295 --> 01:08:54,422
an announcement was made
upon entering a camp.
656
01:08:54,589 --> 01:09:00,845
Civilians were ordered out.
Those remaining were considered rebels.
657
01:09:01,679 --> 01:09:07,143
It seemed quite natural
to say to the residents,
658
01:09:07,602 --> 01:09:09,979
"if you don't want to get hurt,
then come out!"
659
01:09:33,836 --> 01:09:39,050
On that day I drove to docha,
a city on the coast.
660
01:09:39,467 --> 01:09:43,721
It had
an Israel defense forces landing field.
661
01:09:45,306 --> 01:09:46,306
On the way,
662
01:09:46,474 --> 01:09:49,268
many phalangist
half-track vehicles appeared.
663
01:09:49,394 --> 01:09:56,234
They shouted with joy
as they headed towards the airfield.
664
01:09:56,484 --> 01:10:00,697
At the airfield,
I met a colonel friend.
665
01:10:01,155 --> 01:10:03,199
He told me,
666
01:10:04,367 --> 01:10:07,578
"have you heard
what's happening in the refugee camps?"
667
01:10:07,704 --> 01:10:10,456
He had pointed to sabra and shatila.
668
01:10:10,957 --> 01:10:13,626
"What's happening?" I asked.
669
01:10:14,335 --> 01:10:19,757
"I didn't witness it myself, but they
say there was a terrible massacre."
670
01:10:20,049 --> 01:10:27,265
Palestinians were slaughtered.
I heard they put them on trucks.
671
01:10:27,390 --> 01:10:31,102
I was told that crucifixes
were carved on their chests.
672
01:10:31,227 --> 01:10:37,442
There were wounded,
some in critical condition.
673
01:10:37,817 --> 01:10:41,028
They were put on trucks
and taken to an unknown destination.
674
01:10:50,496 --> 01:10:54,167
We saw a phalangist soldier
675
01:10:54,333 --> 01:10:56,586
taking an old man away.
676
01:10:59,547 --> 01:11:02,800
At some point we heard shots.
677
01:11:03,926 --> 01:11:05,803
We heard shots.
678
01:11:06,721 --> 01:11:09,766
Then the soldier came out alone.
679
01:11:10,558 --> 01:11:14,103
We asked him what happened.
680
01:11:14,270 --> 01:11:17,440
We couldn't hear him,
but his gestures meant "boom!"
681
01:11:17,732 --> 01:11:21,652
We understood that he'd told the man
to kneel down before him.
682
01:11:21,778 --> 01:11:26,449
When he refused, he shot his knees.
When he refused again,
683
01:11:26,824 --> 01:11:31,746
he shot him in the stomach and head.
684
01:11:35,583 --> 01:11:39,295
Didn't you ever realize
685
01:11:39,754 --> 01:11:42,089
that trucks were going in empty
and coming out full,
686
01:11:42,298 --> 01:11:46,928
women and children were brought out
and bulldozers went in?
687
01:11:47,261 --> 01:11:51,557
That maybe
a massacre is taking place?
688
01:11:51,808 --> 01:11:55,228
Did you wonder
why you didn't realize earlier?
689
01:11:57,605 --> 01:11:59,524
Yes, of course.
690
01:12:00,483 --> 01:12:06,489
I realized something was happening
only when my men told me.
691
01:12:06,906 --> 01:12:09,033
From the top of their tanks,
692
01:12:09,283 --> 01:12:14,163
they started shouting,
"they are shooting people!"
693
01:12:26,717 --> 01:12:30,721
They claim that people were lined up
against the wall and shot.
694
01:12:31,514 --> 01:12:35,434
So I called my commanding officer.
695
01:12:36,477 --> 01:12:40,690
I told him what I heard
was going on in the camps.
696
01:12:42,233 --> 01:12:46,696
He said, "we know about it.
It's under control. We reported it."
697
01:12:47,113 --> 01:12:51,617
As far as I was concerned,
the army was handling it.
698
01:12:51,742 --> 01:12:55,788
Where was the operations room,
the headquarters?
699
01:12:56,789 --> 01:13:01,210
About 100 yards away.
On top of a very tall building.
700
01:13:01,377 --> 01:13:05,548
- How tall?
- Tall enough to see everything.
701
01:13:05,673 --> 01:13:08,551
They surely had a better view
than I did.
702
01:13:34,619 --> 01:13:38,080
I didn't want to walk around at night,
so I drove
703
01:13:38,247 --> 01:13:43,336
to my place in bahabda.
I had an apartment in Beirut.
704
01:13:43,544 --> 01:13:48,466
Micha Friedman was with me.
We decided to make dinner.
705
01:13:48,674 --> 01:13:56,098
Micha invited the guys from
the regiment of the 211th brigade.
706
01:13:56,349 --> 01:14:00,102
During the meal,
the regiment commander took me aside.
707
01:14:01,646 --> 01:14:04,357
He said: "Ron,
708
01:14:04,607 --> 01:14:08,069
my men say there's a massacre
going on in the camps."
709
01:14:08,444 --> 01:14:10,571
He mentioned one or two incidents,
710
01:14:10,780 --> 01:14:14,533
saying a family was seen shot.
711
01:14:14,617 --> 01:14:20,206
I asked him again,
"did you see it yourself?โ
712
01:14:21,374 --> 01:14:27,296
"I didn't", he said,
"but my soldiers told me about it.
713
01:14:27,463 --> 01:14:33,177
The officers sitting here did, too."
We talked about it over dinner later.
714
01:14:33,886 --> 01:14:36,138
As soon as they left at 11:30 pm,
715
01:14:37,056 --> 01:14:41,560
I knocked back a whiskey
and phoned defense minister arik Sharon.
716
01:14:43,145 --> 01:14:45,147
At his ranch.
717
01:14:45,481 --> 01:14:49,110
Arik was half asleep.
718
01:14:49,652 --> 01:14:55,533
I said, "I've heard
there's a massacre going on, arik.
719
01:14:56,200 --> 01:15:00,830
They are slaughtering Palestinians.
We have to put a stop to it."
720
01:15:01,831 --> 01:15:05,334
He asked me,
"did you see it yourself?โ
721
01:15:07,003 --> 01:15:13,175
"no", I said, "but there are
several witnesses who saw it."
722
01:15:13,676 --> 01:15:15,428
"Okay", he said.
723
01:15:15,928 --> 01:15:19,598
"Thanks for bringing it
to my attention." That was all.
724
01:15:19,807 --> 01:15:23,310
You'd normally say, โI'll check it out,
I'll look into it." But no!
725
01:15:24,061 --> 01:15:29,567
He said, "thanks for bringing it
to my attention. Happy new year!"
726
01:15:30,109 --> 01:15:33,696
Well, something along those lines.
Then back to sleep!
727
01:15:33,863 --> 01:15:36,866
It's amazing.
A massacre took place,
728
01:15:37,199 --> 01:15:40,953
it was carried out by
Christian phalangists.
729
01:15:43,080 --> 01:15:47,418
All around were several circles
of our soldiers
730
01:15:48,794 --> 01:15:51,213
every circle had some information.
731
01:15:51,547 --> 01:15:54,175
The first one had the most. However,
732
01:15:54,467 --> 01:15:57,344
the penny didn't drop.
733
01:15:58,179 --> 01:16:00,723
They didn't realize
they were witnessing a genocide.
734
01:16:01,057 --> 01:16:02,433
What circle were you in?
735
01:16:02,975 --> 01:16:05,352
In the second or third.
736
01:16:05,853 --> 01:16:09,106
What did you do?
737
01:16:10,900 --> 01:16:14,653
We stood on a roof
and saw the sky was lit up.
738
01:16:15,905 --> 01:16:19,158
- With what?
- Flares.
739
01:16:19,241 --> 01:16:22,244
Flares that must have helped them
do what they were doing.
740
01:16:29,585 --> 01:16:31,462
Did you fire the flares?
741
01:16:31,879 --> 01:16:33,089
Is that important?
742
01:16:33,672 --> 01:16:36,592
Does it make any difference
if I fired them
743
01:16:37,551 --> 01:16:41,597
or if I just saw the flares
that helped people shoot others?
744
01:16:43,599 --> 01:16:47,103
In your state of mind at that time,
it didn't really make a difference.
745
01:16:47,895 --> 01:16:51,482
You can't remember the massacre
because in your opinion,
746
01:16:52,108 --> 01:16:56,362
the murderers and those around them
are the same circle.
747
01:16:56,904 --> 01:16:59,907
You felt guilty at the age of 19.
748
01:17:00,282 --> 01:17:02,535
Unwillingly,
you took on the role of the Nazi.
749
01:17:02,827 --> 01:17:07,456
You were there firing flares,
but you didn't carry out the massacre.
750
01:17:22,847 --> 01:17:27,810
I woke up at 5 or 5;30,
and I woke everyone up,
751
01:17:28,561 --> 01:17:30,479
the whole team.
752
01:17:31,147 --> 01:17:34,233
Then I drove to sabra and shatila.
753
01:17:35,693 --> 01:17:37,444
When I arrived there
754
01:17:38,487 --> 01:17:40,489
what a mess!
755
01:17:41,866 --> 01:17:46,579
You know that picture
from the Warsaw ghetto?
756
01:17:47,621 --> 01:17:51,876
The one with the kid
holding his hands in the air?
757
01:17:54,003 --> 01:17:56,297
That's just how the long line of women,
758
01:17:56,797 --> 01:17:59,800
old people and children looked.
759
01:18:00,342 --> 01:18:04,180
I thought about
going to brigadier Amos's headquarters,
760
01:18:04,513 --> 01:18:08,767
but as I was leaving,
Amos suddenly turned up.
761
01:18:09,101 --> 01:18:11,103
He drove to the head of the convoy.
762
01:18:11,270 --> 01:18:15,691
His angry gestures
forced them to stop.
763
01:18:16,025 --> 01:18:19,236
And that was the end of it.
764
01:18:19,695 --> 01:18:21,780
Stop the shooting!
765
01:18:21,947 --> 01:18:24,366
Stop the shooting, immediately!
766
01:18:25,201 --> 01:18:27,786
It's no stop shooting!
767
01:18:28,454 --> 01:18:31,874
Immediately! Everybody go home!
768
01:18:32,541 --> 01:18:34,501
Go home, now!
769
01:18:49,225 --> 01:18:52,228
The phalangists
withdrew back up the street.
770
01:18:52,394 --> 01:18:57,191
The women and children
returned to the camp.
771
01:18:57,274 --> 01:18:59,652
- The Palestinians?
- Yes.
772
01:19:07,618 --> 01:19:12,414
I said to my men,
"we're going in with them
773
01:19:12,581 --> 01:19:14,333
with those women and children.
774
01:19:16,252 --> 01:19:19,588
We'll see what happened in there."
775
01:19:20,089 --> 01:19:22,925
Inside the camp we saw
a huge amount of rubble.
776
01:19:23,425 --> 01:19:25,552
My eye caught
777
01:19:26,053 --> 01:19:28,264
a hand, a small hand.
778
01:19:28,430 --> 01:19:33,978
A child's hand
stuck out from the rubble.
779
01:19:34,937 --> 01:19:39,608
I looked a bit closer and saw curls.
780
01:19:40,943 --> 01:19:46,740
A head of curls covered in dust.
It was hard to make out.
781
01:19:46,907 --> 01:19:53,289
But it was a head,
exposed up to the nose.
782
01:19:54,790 --> 01:19:56,667
A hand and a head.
783
01:19:56,875 --> 01:20:00,713
My own daughter was the same age
as that little girl.
784
01:20:01,338 --> 01:20:04,675
And she had curly hair, too.
785
01:20:09,680 --> 01:20:13,767
The Palestinians in refugee camps
have houses with courtyards.
786
01:20:14,268 --> 01:20:17,479
These courtyards were full
of bodies of women and children.
787
01:20:17,646 --> 01:20:19,773
The young men had been shot first.
788
01:20:19,898 --> 01:20:24,153
Then the rest of the family
was dealt with.
789
01:20:26,030 --> 01:20:29,992
We entered one alley,
a very narrow alley
790
01:20:30,159 --> 01:20:32,953
the width of a man and a half.
791
01:20:33,662 --> 01:20:36,498
That alley was full
792
01:20:36,999 --> 01:20:42,463
piled up to the height of a man's chest
793
01:20:42,629 --> 01:20:44,506
with the bodies of young men.
794
01:20:45,341 --> 01:20:49,887
That's when I became aware
of the results of the massacre.
59424
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