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Do you know what you want to be When you grow up?

-Be a schmaltzy singer. -Rock star.

Ladies and gentlemen, a gold disc for Cindy C. and Davy D.!

We love you, Cindy!

THREE MONTHS EARLIER

What do you want to be when you grow up?

A fireman, Mr. Lieven.

-Who else wants to be a fireman? -Me, me, me.

You don't?

-What do you want to be? -A firefighter.

That's great. Anyone else?

I want to become a schoolteacher.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

One, two, three.

THE FROG CLASS

Kenny. Kenny.

Kenny, stop a moment. Kenny, stop.

I've got it, pal. I had a really exciting dream last night.

-That's what Kleenex are for. -You said we needed a new name.

I dreamed it was this: Rusty Razor.

What's wrong with The Frog Class? We were all in it together, with Miss Peggy.

We haven't got any gigs so who cares about our title?

Name, Benny. Who cares about our name, not our title.

OK, girls, we'll name ourselves Rusty Razor.

-No, we'll call ourselves Rusty Razor. -You're not at school now, Mr. Lieven.

You should've gone for longer.

-I was held back a year three times. -Hello, Lee speaking.

-I started a pension plan in high school. -Really?

Poodles the clown? Yes, I know him. Again? I'm on my way.

Guys. Uncle Dolf has overdosed on helium again!

I'm coming too, it's always hilarious when Uncle Dolf wakes up.

Hey, dickhead!

-Hurry up. He's dying again. -I'm coming. I don't want to miss it.

Hey, take it easy, you dope.

-Never heard of the word sorry, peasant? -Come on, slowcoach.

Peasant? There's no need to be rude, Miss Lah-di-dah.

Didn't hear you say sorry either, Kermit.

-Or didn't your mum teach you to say it? -My mum?

-She's dead. And so is my dad. -Oh. Sorry.

So am I then… Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Hey! One sorry is enough.

D'you always have to have the last word?

-Come on or we'll be too late. -Sorry, Uncle Dolf is dying again.

Hey, your ticket.

Keep an eye on him when he's near helium.

His loyalty card is almost full.

-And stop fiddling with that, you. -Sorry, man. Chill.

-Five euros he sounds like Gollum. -Ten on Papa Smurf.

Deal.

-Am I dead? -You owe me 10 euros, pal.

-That doesn't sound like Gollum. -It does.

-That's Sméagol. -Was I dreaming?

He's back in coma land.

-Poodles, the kids are waiting for you. -Hello, kids!

Incredible!

Beer and helium, a bad combination for a clown…

You're not going to eat this, are you?

-Lee… -Yes?

-I have to go to a school fete. -A school fete?

-But I can't do it without Poodles' voice. -No, not without Poodles' voice.

-Can't you and your little… -Our little band?

Yes! Cindy C.!

That lady you bumped into just now. That was Cindy C.

-Cindy who? -This red cabbage is really delicious.

…and crocodile That's what she said to me

Wearing sunglasses and a smile That's what she said to me

Stefan!

And then I said Forget it…

Cindy!

We've missed you. Are you in the show tonight too?

My career is over, Danny.

Jeffrey! It's Jeffrey now. Danny didn't sell very well.

I have to get on. Keep smiling, Cindy.

-Keep miming, Danny. -Jeffrey.

-How's your throat? -Fine.

-Writing an article about Danny? -Yes…

-Even when he mimes, I feel ill. -You haven't heard the original tapes.

I only smoke electronic cigarettes now. How about an article on that?

No. Is Cindy going to try to make a comeback?

-She's writing her own material. -Own material?

Another one who thinks singers are artists.

Hey, look at this.

I've got a photo. Got any suggestions for the text?

Or do I have to make it up myself?

"Scoop! Cindy C. leaves a building!"

No, no, a hospital. My photographer was going to do a report on some clown

and came back with that. What d'you reckon, Roland?

How about scratching each other's back?

People like reading about celebrities and their illnesses.

She doesn't like talking about… her illness.

Besides, she has recovered now.

A recovered celebrity. Even better. A positive story.

-Cindy C. -She's not fully recovered yet.

THE FROG CLASS

This performance by The Frog Class

hopefully marks the end of the school fete.

Thank you very much and don't forget your kids.

How many times do I have to tell you?

A name like The Frog Class attracts the wrong audience.

But these people came for you, Poodles. They are your audience.

-Oh, man. Look, a real groupie. -Yeah, she's looking at me.

-No, at me. -Then she's cross-eyed.

-Five euros says it's me. -Ten.

Lee, I was just saying to the kids…

"How do you think Nirvana started? At an American infant school."

First an infant school, then the world!

But you have to write your own songs. I'll be your manager, if you like.

Street parties, farmers' balls, kids' parties, you name it.

-Ten euros, man. -But she's not your type, she's mine!

Everything with tits is your type!

And a good name! That's very important.

What the fuck's wrong with The Frog Class?

I was in love with Miss Peggy.

-Miss Peggy had a moustache, man. -Really? Fuck!

I thought it was just a shadow under her nose.

Rusty Razor, guys. I told you.

Lee, what do you think… Lee?

I heard you sing. Brilliant!

-That's… brilliant too. -My name is Gwen.

-What do you do, as a job? -I work in my parents' hardware store.

-Really? -Yes.

-What about you? -I'm a schoolteacher.

You can tell me all about it, but we won't do it here.

Lee, some of that yellow stuff with the white on top?

Another time, mate, sorry.

Can you make me a star?

When I think of the dangers

Pain doesn't miss a beat

What d'you think of Stefan's plan?

He said he'd do that for us.

All that scabby pig wants to do is sell his magazine.

And put that torch out.

OK, he's a bit scabby but Stefan de Handschutter isn't a pig.

He roots around in mud for fun, he's a pig.

Goddammit, boss. How do you think you will pay for this place?

You need a hit!

Come on, boss. Just say yes.

We've got a great story. We really have.

If he publishes it, it'll be like the old days.

The two of us at the top. Comeback time.

-I'm not doing it. -Too late, it has already been printed.

My biorhythm.

Roland, I want something different. I want…

Yeah, yeah. Own material, personal lyrics, blah blah blah.

Are you Cindy C. or Helmut Lotti?

You insisted on working with Stef Brasil and your last CD was a flop.

-Stef Kamil. -Kamil, Brasil, same difference.

-You can be such a bastard sometimes. -Yes, sometimes.

In the pocket!

Come on, boss, you've spent 18 months at that piano,

which you are still paying for,

and all I hear are the same three notes in a different order.

Te lah doh, lah te doh, doh lah te…

That's a hit!

I am your manager, goddammit!

It'd be better if you acted more like my boyfriend.

But no, sir needs his own place, he needs space to breathe.

Breathing is important in life. You don't live long if you don't.

There…

Come on, boss… Boss, boss…

-Promise me you'll think about it. -Why?

-You said it was already printed. -Yes, I did, true.

I knew you'd understand. I knew you would.

-Here, Veronique needs you. -She can wait.

Come on, let's make up.

For goodness' sake, take those high heels off, boss.

Maybe you need to grow a bit, boss?

At the walls you glower See the world through a haze

Minutes last for hours You and your foolish ways

In the light of what's to come

Everything is pointless, it's a lie

And the word most oft repeated

Always sounds like why

But a year has passed since then…

-She's singing about her illness. -What?

-The illness she overcame. -Yes, I know.

-Very moving. -Thank you.

This is going to be a hit!

-It sticks in my throat, Veronique. -I thought her throat was better?

What's the matter, boss? Throat hurt?

I can't sing that, Roland. You know why.

It's all the emotions, it isn't easy.

Cindy, an honest song, alright?

And studio time costs money, so get on with it. An honest song, OK?

Honest as in: "I honestly don't know what I'm singing about?"

Ha ha, very funny.

Seriously. Brave, intense, honourable, honest, sincere…

-The things all Flemish hits are made of. -Give the writers a raise then!

It's not that honourable and sincere.

If you want to hear something really honest, Veronique…

-The button will get worn out like that. -Next take.

Next take.

-She's not singing. -No.

This is a comeback that Louis Neefs can only dream of.

Did I say that out loud? Go on, sing, baby! Come on.

Right then.

But a year has passed since then

The sun has reappeared

And I feel free again

All the clouds have now cleared…

Excuse me a moment. Just going to wash my hands.

I mean, to make a phone call… What's it to do with you anyway?

Boss… -It is May now…

Going to wash my hands, boss. -… and spring has arrived

The horizon's looking clearer It's…

Bullshit. Bernard, from the beginning again.

Interesting chord,

but do a different one now. And then a few more.

And before you know it, you'll have a song. Simple, eh?

-Thank you, Uncle. Thank you. -You're welcome.

Look who it is, the lady who has to have the last word.

Don't follow that example.

They write stuff like that in their sleep.

CINDY C. OVERCOMES THROAT CANCER

The same as Mum.

You are here this evening, Cindy C., to talk about the adversity you faced.

Everyone knows you had a terrible disease, which you have since overcome.

In fact, it's still difficult to talk about it.

I…

As we heard during Sabrina's courageous account,

a disease can be traumatic, even after you've recovered from it.

Cindy…

Sorry.

She's singing about her illness.

Showbiz! Suffering sells.

-There was something else. -Showbiz!

Something else, Uncle.

You were right. I have some decisions to make.

Making decisions is important. Am I going to have one beer or two?

The decision isn't that difficult, I always have at least two.

-But then, do I have two or three? -I get it, Uncle.

Yes, but hold on. Finally, do I open the twelfth one or not?

Because then you reach a stage where you can't make any decisions anymore.

-And the beer decides for you. -What's the moral of this story?

I've no idea, but it has made me thirsty.

Stop. Stop!

Stop, stop, stop.

Is that our new song? It smells like teen shit.

What? It doesn't, no way. 5 euros.

What? It does, all the way. 10 euros.

Kenny and Benny, say something.

-Lee and the Three. -What?

A good name for the band. Lee and the Three.

-Lee and the Tree? -No, the Three.

The three of us. One, two, three and Lee.

Suddenly it's his band, or what? I say Rusty Razor. No egos.

-And? -It's Cruella de Vil.

-Who? -Lee's girlfriend.

-Shit, guys, I was drunk. -Right… I'll sort it out.

After all, I'm a bit of a psychiatrist sometimes.

Listen, Wicked Witch, Prince Charming isn't here.

No! Now you are going to listen carefully to me.

He ignores me, doesn't contact me.

-I've sent 29 messages to his phone. -Maybe that's 28 too many.

Oh, so sir thinks I'm not worth bothering about?

-Listen, Gwen, I was just… -You don't do that to your girlfriend.

Nothing happened.

You just kept on about your piercings and your parents' hardware store

-until I fell asleep. -No!

Then I'm finishing it. Little singer.

It's over. I'm not letting you rattle my cage.

No, that would make a row.

Yo, Gwen. Chill…

If you want, you can stalk me as much as you like.

-Really? And what do you do? -I play the drums with my sticks.

-I'm a drummer. -Oh…

Give me the name of a famous drummer.

Ben Crabbé.

What a woman!

I think he is busy creating.

Did you write that last night?

And… with words and stuff?

Well, play it then. Can we hear it?

Cindy raises her eyes She isn't there yet

Will she make it so high Before the sun sets

I knew you could do it!

You can take my place at that farmers' ball next week.

Poodles, the fucking clown, gives his place to… the band with no name. OK.

-Sven? What d'you think? -What do you think?

I thought we were a rock band.

But you're singing in fucking Dutch.

The original language, the mother tongue of rock 'n' roll is English, pal.

No go.

Have you got a new name for The Frog Class yet?

-The Kikker Class? -Keep looking.

I'm off to have some new T-shirts printed for Poodles the Clown.

If I order some for you at the same time, I'll get a discount.

Call me in ten minutes and tell me your name.

Chill.

I'm going to sit down.

-Rock Band! Just Rock Band! -High five.

That's the stupidest name I've ever heard.

-Great! Rock Band! -High five.

Come on, let's vote. Who's for? Alright, Benny!

I'll quickly catch Dolf, then we'll turn your schmaltzy number into proper music.

Rock Band!

Dolf! Dolf!

What did we vote on?

Cindy raises her eyes She isn't there yet

Will she make it so high Before the sun sets

Stop, guys. Stop. Stop, stop.

Stop!

What the hell are we doing?

I wrote a song about a woman who overcame an illness.

Thanks to her strength of character. By giving it her all, by fighting.

And all you do is wave your arms around

in the hope you may just touch an instrument.

-Then we'll put it to a demographic vote. -Of course, Sven. "Demographic".

It's not Lee and the Three. The band belongs to all of us.

OK, who votes for Lee's Laura Lynn version?

-What are we voting for now? -You're not even voting.

Right, the board of directors has decided.

I also propose that we change the title from "Cindy" into, for example… "Gwenny".

Are you nuts, Sven? Even just the name makes me want to throw up.

-I think she's one cool babe. -It's not Sven and the Three, either.

What if we start slowly with Lee's version

followed immediately by Sven's version. For a wow effect!

That sounds demographic.

-But is it called "Gwenny" or "Cindy"? -"Gwendy".

-Or "Gwindy". -There you are! "Gwindy".

Next item on the agenda: adaptation of the lyrics.

And I fell in love When she kicked me in the balls

-That's really poetic, Sven! -I know.

You and me, pal, Lennon and McCartney.

Sorry.

-Can I be Mick Jagger? -Not now, Kenny.

Sven! Stop, stop! Don't!

What's that? Why Rusty Racer?

Shit! That's Sven deciding all by himself. That's what that is.

Honestly, Dolf. I said Razor, Rusty Razor.

-Z-O-R. -Oops…

-My mistake, I think. -What are you playing at, Sven?

We're a band, aren't we?

Baby!

Ladyboys, say hello to my bitch.

-He's going to make me a star. -OK, come with me, you.

I don't want to interfere, but I'd rather Vampira stayed home in future.

She's… how shall I put it… in desperate need of a lobotomy.

She may be in desperate need, but she's also my thingy.

-Your muse? -Well, yes, my muse. She is.

Seeing as I'm now the leader of Rusty Racer.

-What? -Seriously, pal. We need a leader.

I get the feeling you're starting to lose it.

With your fluffy Flemish songs. Demography doesn't work in a rock band.

-Kenny? Benny? -What? Have we got to vote again?

No, I was saying to Lee that demography doesn't work.

We need a leader.

Yeah!

OK.

Goddammit!

Now we'd like to sing a song we wrote ourselves.

It's called "Cindy".

It's in Dutch.

Cindy raises her eyes She isn't there yet

Will she reach so high Before the sun sets

Cindy lowers her eyes Lonely, distraught

Time passes by Vital for all

She has to fight till the last Till all pain has passed

Till she forgets all the pain When victory is gained

Up there it seems The view offers more

A horizon that beams

Under her own steam She rose up, for sure

Beyond the big mountain There is no more…

Sven! What the hell are you up to?

-Cindy! An autograph? -Yes, please.

You are very brave, Cindy. You are an example to us all.

And it's all fine now, eh? It's all gone now, eh sweetie?

They think I'm brave. I'm an example to people.

A great example! I've had enough of the nonsense!

-Then you're in the wrong business. -I thought we were an item.

-It's all one big lie. I thought… -You don't need to think. That's my job.

Cindy C, hoo ha!

Fanatical fans?

-Hi. -Hi.

I think I have something of yours. Don't you remember me?

Yeah yeah. The lady who has to have the last word.

Yeah…

-I'm sorry about your uncle. -My uncle?

At the hospital… Your uncle had died, hadn't he?

No, he didn't die again. He's a clown and he's addicted to helium.

Sven and I always go to the hospital on the moped and… Forget it.

-I saw you singing just now. -I suppose you thought it was rubbish?

-I wanted to say… -That it's crap, thanks.

Idiot! Can you stop finishing my sentences?

-I thought it was great. -Pull someone else's leg, Mrs. C.

I said what I wanted to say, but if you're not listening…

-Have fun on The Voice For Kids. -You too, at the next farmers' ball.

-Then we'll meet again. -The last word again!

-But a year has passed since then -Yeah!

-The sun has reappeared -Sorry.

Guys! Come here! Come here!

Bunch of adolescents! Bullying kids in the playground?

-We think it's a great song, eh Kenny? -Lovely.

Leave him alone, he has pulled.

-What are you talking about? -I'm not blind.

I can see some strange things. Come on, clowns, let's get a beer.

-Hello, Mrs. C. -Cindy.

If you ever need a new manager, I'm Dolf, Lee's uncle,

better known in showbiz circles as Poodles, the clown with oodles of poo.

You're the one who didn't die again? Congratulations.

Can you turn around and bend over, then I can give you a number?

It's fine, Uncle. I'll do it.

You see, I'm a manager too.

-Really? -You probably say impresario.

Can I have your number? Purely for professional reasons, of course.

Go and see the other one Who no doubt is waiting for you

But I won't be there later Should you try to call me too

Your number is deleted And your name has been removed

You won't find me anymore Because I'm no longer…

Hey! Want to come outside?

That was my bear! Go and get it, quick! Go on!

But you can't ruin things, you see

I no longer want you Because you were finished with me

You said you are my true love You and I are one

But after all those years You said you and I were done

You think I'm no longer needed But you can't ruin things, you see

I no longer want you Because you were finished with me

Let's talk about the future.

What will be your next hit?

-There won't be one. End of contract. -That's not possible.

-It is possible. -It is.

-We'll change it. We'll extend it, baby. -Yes, baby, yes.

Let's think of something new, something unexpected.

Think out of the box. A duet with a big star.

Great! What if I don't want to?

-But you do want to. -Shut it, Roland, and get rid of that.

You see, Veronique. I'd like to record my own material.

-You've only got three notes, boss. -Let her speak, Rollie.

I'll sign a new contract on condition my next single is really mine.

-But a duet with a big star? -Robbie Williams? Just an example.

Sure, for example.

-Jeffrey is also in my stable. -Leave him there.

-Christoff is hot in Germany. -Heiss!

-Jo Vally. Luc Steeno. -Heiss, heisser, heist!

A diamond heist!

That'll do. This is a serious business.

You want to do your own material? OK, but as a duet with a big star.

In order to limit the risks.

And if it fails, we can go back to oompah-pah music.

-I just want one chance, that's all. -One hara-kiri.

Rollie…

OK, what we'll do is make a demo so we can convince the right man.

A demo first, which we'll send to everyone: Steeno, Vally, Sommers.

And we'll choose from among those interested.

You sing your part and the male part will be sung by some clown or other for now.

-That's cheaper. -In that case, I know a clown.

You want to use me?

No, I want give them a kick up their fat, commercial arse.

But you're a commercial fat-cat yourself. Or another animal.

I'm fed up with record companies, managers.

-Impresarios. -You've got cream on your nose.

Go on, Lee. It's only a demo. No one will find out.

Scared of what your friends will think? They'll never hear it.

You're currently the goose who shits golden eggs.

-Not a very flattering image, but… -You're in a position to demand things.

OK, I'll sing this demo for you, maybe,

if you can arrange for Rusty Racer to make a single.

Hey, hold on, I'm the manager so let me do the negotiating.

So, Cindy, he'll sing this demo for you, maybe,

if you can arrange for Rusty Racer to make a single.

-That's what he has just said. -Yes, but if I say it, it's official.

Lee has just written a sort of hit. It's called "Cindy".

Well I never, just like you! What a coincidence!

Oops! Poodles has to go.

I've got a birthday party for some snobs' kids.

Mrs. C., we'll meet again.

-Thanks for the meal. -Be careful with the helium.

No, no, no. No more helium for Poodles.

I'm taking up fire-eating.

I googled you.

You were ill.

I didn't know. I don't read…

Do you want to talk about it? I mean…

Now I sound like a psychiatrist on a talk show. I don't mean to.

I shouldn't have asked. Stupid of me.

Why did you write a song called "Cindy"?

I wanted a typical Flemish name.

-Cindy C.? May I have your autograph? -Of course.

Have you got a pen?

-There you are. -Thank you.

You are so brave!

-There. There you are. -Thank you. Goodbye.

You really do matter to those people.

-I'm a comfort to them. -But it's all a lie, isn't it?

I mean, those songs are just churned out.

Does that matter?

A plastic rose, a box of chocolates, a birthday card.

The end justifies the means. Does it matter what it is that comforts people?

I don't know…

-It seems a bit like a con. -Yeah…

Are you always honest, Lee?

It's hard, but I try to be.

So do I.

I try to be too.

-Let me know. OK? -OK.

Just give me a kiss on the cheek, you dope.

OK, I'll do it, Cindy C.

Does this have to take so long? I'm fed up with stories about his dogs.

It's his magazine that's paying for this.

He likes being seen with a star. So what?

Just play the game… -Dryer's broken. No towels.

In a first-class restaurant. I should write an article about that. Coffee!

-Stefan, the meal was delicious. -Yes.

But can we stop talking about your neurotic wife and golden retrievers?

OK, let's get to the point.

Imagine this, Cindy C. The reader turns the page and sees you.

-Creative! -But not just you, but also

-your new dog. -Brilliant idea!

I haven't got a new dog or an old dog or even a photo of a dog.

No problem, we'll borrow one.

French shepherd, a German poodle or one of mine.

Damn, I wasn't going to talk about my dogs.

You choose what goes best with your new dress paid for by our magazine.

People love reading about illnesses, that's true,

but also about a star's pets.

-It can be a cat if you'd prefer. -No.

Or another animal?

-A chat with your best friends. -Haven't got any.

-That's true. -We'll use actors.

A photoshoot of you two in Thailand, interview, kiss kiss, happy ending.

Another great idea!

Listen, Stefan, and please take this personally, I've had enough of the lies.

-My coat, please. -Boss.

Don't be a hypocrite, Cindy C. Or I'll wash my hands of you.

Remember there aren't any towels and the dryer is broken.

You went along with the article on your illness and it didn't do you any harm.

-A forgotten singer who… -That is very true.

-Madam. -Take it back. She changed her mind.

-You're not allowed to smoke. -It's electronic. Put it away.

We're not going to hurt each other, Cindy C.

I wouldn't mind hurting you. I should never have done it.

Repentance always comes too late. Apparently. I wouldn't know myself.

Just do it. You'll sell more CDs,

I'll sell more magazines and everyone's happy.

-Or will the truth make us happier? -The truth won't make anyone happier.

Are you blackmailing me?

If you are, my heel can just reach the spot where it will hurt the most.

Hey, take it easy. We're just brainstorming, brain to brain.

Waiter, the bill, please.

Stefan, you and your crap magazine can take a running jump!

-I'm paying for my own meal. -Boss!

May I have my coat, please?

When I think of all the dangers

Pain doesn't miss a beat…

Stop a moment. Stop a moment, Bernard.

I want Lee to sing how he always sings.

Understand? I want you to sing the way you sing.

The way you really sing. From here.

Don't be shy. I'm not asking you to imitate Jo Vally.

It's only a demo, Cindy sweetie.

Who's the goose with the golden eggs, Roland sweetie?

When I think of all the dangers

Pain doesn't miss a beat

Fear makes my poor heart bleed

And I think, indeed

Is it a lie, am I weak

I can look into your eyes forever

All my breath is yours

When the storm's over at last

And everything has passed

You're the man, I'm your woman

I choose you In all my dreams

I choose you When I wake up

I choose you forever, darling

No one knows about you 'n me

But desire makes you forget reality

Nicky? Nicky?

Veronique? Veronique?

Hold on. What's the matter, Roland?

My hand on your bum, yes, no. I don't get it. I'm not a sex object.

Cindy deserves better, Rollie. Yes, Reggie.

Veronique! Nicky!

-My little Nicky! -I'm not your little Nicky!

Goddammit!

You can't trust anyone these days!

Cow! Cow, cow, cow, fat cow!

Laws and objections Stand between our dreams and deeds

And reality Beats every plea

And it ensures That doubt is guaranteed

I choose you In all my dreams

I choose you When I wake up

I choose you forever, darling

No one knows about you 'n me

But desire makes you forget reality

I'm waiting till you come to me

My darling, forever

When the storm is done

Then you are the one

With whom I belong, together

Say something.

I think that was fantastic. I think…

Yes… I thought so too.

If you thought it was so fantastic, you can smoke a post-coital cigarette now.

Now give the kid some money to buy himself some sweets.

Oh no. The fat cow is letting his little band record a number in return.

Honestly! Pure hara-kiri!

Now Christoff or whoever will sing it.

Everyone had to come in via the back door.

Even Christoff?

Christoff invented the back door.

Anyway, Rusty Racer gets to record a single. Congratulations.

-I'm going to walk. -In those heels? You're like a heron.

-Herons eat frogs, Roland. -Come here.

-Let go of me! -Don't, you'll get hurt!

Oh, look, our little rock star. Go back to Mummy.

-Your dinner's ready. -My mum's dead and so is my dad.

Then you'll have to cook your own dinner!

-Are you OK? -I'm OK.

-You can say goodbye to your career. -I've never had one, pal!

-He was talking to me, you dope. -Eh? Yeah, I know.

Shall we go and have a beer? Or a waffle?

Or would you prefer to be on your own? Eh?

You are sitting in the middle of the road, you know.

AFTER COMEBACK BURNOUT

You won't get away with it…

After comeback burnout? What are you up to?

No photoshoot with a dog, no interview with a cat.

And you still expect us to be nice? Do you know what?

No! Press and artists support each other.

No press, no sales.

Who wears the trousers, Roland? You or your boss?

Stefan?

Baldy!

Gwindy kicked me Right in the balls

She really hit me Right in the balls

Gwindy, my love Your love really hurts

-They're singing about me. -Gwindy? Great!

She is bitter, she is sweet When she kicks me in my meat

When she kicks me in my dick

When she kicks me in my prick

And I fell in love When she hit me in the balls

She really hit me hard

Like a boxing glove She hit me in the balls

But I'll get up Before the curtain falls

Great, Rusty Racer!

Thank you, but can we do it again because it sounded a bit…

Again? Are you serious, chubby cheeks?

No, that was perfection itself.

When's the photoshoot for the sleeve?

I'd like to help decide on the layout. I've got an eye for colours.

Don't worry about it. Don't call us, we'll call you.

Nice arse!

Yes! She's going to call us! Great, eh? Thank you, Lee.

What d'you have to do for it?

-Oh, Cindy! -Oh, Lee!

Oh, Cindy!

OK, turn it off. Hi, Cindy. Roland.

Great, nice, really nice. Powerful, wonderful, meaningful even.

But who is going to sing it for real? A big star. Who?

Tura, Sommers, Wauters, Wally?

Come on, Cindy. Who? Tura, Sommers, Wauters, Wally?

-Lee? -Lee? What? That pain in the arse?

Lee? Which Lee? I don't know a Lee. Lee Towers? Lee Cooper? Bruce Lee?

Wal-Lee?

Come on! Tura, Sommers, Wauters, Wally?

Veronique, listen to me a moment. Just answer yes or no.

OK. I mean yes.

-Have I already signed my contract? -Oh, no. No!

Don't start that. No, I'm not playing that game.

-Yes or no? -No.

-So? -You can't be seen with him.

OK, he can sing, but he's hideous.

Everyone will be scared of catching scabies!

-Definitely, he's revolting. -OK. Have fun with my little pony.

Oops! You know?

-It's not what you think, boss. -Don't talk drivel. It is what you think.

Don't take it personally. The first time was for fun, the next was for the road

and the third was to show him it was very small.

But this is business, Cindy.

Record company managers sometimes do things they regret.

Cindy, listen. Hold on. Let me think. Let me think.

I'm thinking, I'm thinking… Oh! I've got it!

Christ, that was quick! Listen!

Can you go outside? That wasn't a question, Rollie.

Honestly, Nicky!

That was one for the road. Sorry, I couldn't resist it, Cindy.

Chantal, Yvo!

Mystery, baby!

No, no, no, Danny!

Yes, OK, OK…

No, Jeffrey, you are not a priority at the moment. You've got that right.

Stupid idiot! Honestly!

-For God's sake! -Answer your phone, you bastard!

Who is he? Where has he come from? No one knows, it's a mystery.

Here is Cindy C. and her mystery guest.

Mystery guest, my arse!

FOR RUSTY THINGY

-Hey, that's our CD, pal! -I know, Benny. I know.

-What are you doing? -Wringing my cloth out.

-Guys… -We saw it, Benny.

-Your song was fine as it was. -Yeah, except the title, which was silly.

People would've thought we'd written a song about Cindy C.

Cindy C. rocks big time. But I like most things.

It's Drummy Drummer and Lady Completely Gaga.

Yo, guys! Gays.

I've got a suggestion. I've thought about it at length and in short…

-Do we have to vote again? -Imagine.

We are the Racers and this is our Rusty.

I want Gwen to be our singer.

-Who's for? -Sven…

Oh no! Yoko Ono!

-I heard that. -And did you understand me, John?

Roger, turn that crap off. I'm making a very important announcement.

-Turn it down, Roger. A lot. -Thank you!

Right, do I get any reaction?

-Roger, turn it up a bit. -Make your mind up.

Turn it up.

-That's you! -No, it just sounds a lot like him.

Jesus fucking Christ, that's you!

We just thought you'd fucked Cindy.

It's much worse than that. You sang with her!

Gwenny, baby, I'm gonna make you a star!

I don't care if they call you Yogi Ono. You, outside with me.

Gwenny, sweetie, what are you doing?

-Sorry. -I knew it, the treacherous traitor!

-Sven, I didn't know she intended… -No, my little Flemish singer.

Did you think you'd just drop us to start another career?

Betray your friends for some whore of a schmaltzy singer.

What's the matter? Gone deaf? Hey! Paul McCartney!

-I'm quitting the band, John. -No way, Paul.

-I'm kicking you out of the band, Petrus. -He means Judas.

Good friends for more than 20 years and that's the thanks I get!

Well, thanks a lot, pal. Well done. Hope you are proud of yourself!

Hey, we're going back inside, it's getting cold.

I've got a cramp. Stupid thing. Start!

You need something to take your mind off things.

Boss!

OK, OK, stop, stop.

-Maybe I went a bit too far. -A bit too far?

You took a long run-up and jumped over the edge!

Without any elastic around your ankles. I'd open my parachute now, if I were you.

Don't forget you are where you are thanks to me.

You would never have written a song of your own if I hadn't tried to stop you.

Discouragement is the best form of encouragement, first psychology lesson.

Second psychology lesson, piss off!

Boss, forgiveness is a virtue.

-And take those fucking heels off! -Here is your forgiveness.

If you want to dictate to someone, see Veronique.

I'm deleting you from my life, Roland. I'm crossing your name out.

If you dare to come near me again, I'll cut your balls off.

With a blunt kitchen knife. No, with one of those plastic ones from on a plane.

-What am I saying? You've got no balls! -Boss, please.

Out! Get out of my house!

Out!

Hold on!

Keys!

We'll see who's got no balls. I've got coconuts, as you well know!

Forget it, forget it

That's what I'm telling you

I think you've made the right decision. You can finally spread your wings, Lee.

You're no longer weighed down, no longer being held back.

-You can finally do what you want. -Yeah, make an idiot of myself.

Anonymous schmaltzy singer. It was just a demo, that was all.

I don't get it anymore.

-I've lost everyone thanks to my antics. -Hey, hey, I'm still here.

And I count for quite a few.

Listen, Lee. You wanted something different, your pals didn't.

Cindy wanted something different, the others didn't.

Do you think she used you? She didn't.

You were both looking for something different and you found it.

You've wiped the slate clean and now you can write all over it again.

-No schoolteacher metaphors, Uncle. -Right.

You've ploughed your field, now you can sow some new seeds.

-Christ! -Yeah, he said that, didn't he?

Mr. Lieven! Mr. Lieven!

Do you know what you want to be when you grow up yet?

-Be a schmaltzy singer. -A rock star.

Leave the clown alone and come and eat. -You are a bad clown.

But a good person.

Veronique has a proposition.

Make another record people can stand their beer on?

That record will become a collector's item.

It is going to make us extremely rich, believe me.

I've still got 83 in my drawer and one under the table leg.

Seriously, I really have got one under the table leg.

Go on, go and talk to Veronique. OK?

-OK? -OK.

Oops, irresponsible behaviour…

I think the lobster is good, but I don't know the lobster.

I don't know who the lobster is.

I only know it's a lobster and not some other fish.

Question: Would this lobster taste better if it had a name?

For example Jeff… Would Jeff the lobster taste better than lobster X?

-I can see where you are going. -Then tell me quick. I have no idea.

I do, I do. Of course I know.

Ladies and gentlemen, Lee should step out of the shadows.

Because Jeff the lobster is much tastier than an anonymous lobster.

-Get what I'm saying? -Yes, but is that actually true?

That's like Bunny, the little rabbit that's been in your garden for years.

When you finally put it in a saucepan…

OK, my reasoning may not be watertight.

But you get the idea, I hope.

There are loads of TV invitations. Fans are begging that you come out.

Everyone wants to know who the mystery guest is.

We have to capitalize on it.

I agree but I disagree, if you get what I mean.

Listen, Lee, your little friends have abandoned you.

This would be the ultimate revenge.

A great, big fuck you to them!

But I'm not the vengeful type, madam. And it was me who left the band.

OK, a fuck you to the establishment then. To people like me, in fact.

Wouldn't you like to say fuck you to me? You're a right little rebel, Lee.

And they are always supported by the establishment.

How else do you think they get their guns? Eh?

-Explain it to him. That reverse thingy… -Reverse psychology.

Reverse psychology, Lee. You have to change the system from the inside.

You shouldn't stand shouting on the sidelines, no one hears you.

You have to infiltrate and make a statement.

-Use us, Lee. -Nice.

If you can't beat them, join them and if you've joined them, beat them.

-That's crystal clear then. Who's them? -That's up to you, Lee.

Which lobster do you want to be? Lobster X or Jeff the lobster?

I've no idea, both get eaten.

OK, forget about the lobster, just say fuck you to me.

-Fuck you, Veronique. -Alright! Thank you.

-May I see your invitation? -I'm Cindy C.'s manager.

-I don't think so. -What?

-That you're her manager. -Oh, come on.

Sadly, we can't let you in. Sadly for you.

-D'you think I've got no balls? -I cannot comment on that.

-I've got coconuts! -That's nice for you.

-But an invitation would be more useful. -Piss off!

Pissing is something we do at home, sir.

What is all this? Have the Beatles reunited, or what?

Let's see if there are any refreshments.

Hmmm, barbecue-flavoured peanuts.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen of the media.

Guys, turn that record off!

There has been a lot of hype in recent weeks. It has been the talk of the town.

The best kept secret in showbiz since Bart and Luc.

Whose voice is it? Who is this mystery guest?

This evening your curiosity will be satisfied.

But first I'd like to introduce you to the leading lady of Flemish ballads.

Who has finally regained her title.

Veronique! Ladies and gentlemen, Cindy C.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

It all started with a demo. We didn't know who would work best with me.

Tura, Sommers, Wauters, Wally.

But, in fact, we'd got it right, right from the start.

I met him at an agricultural festivity.

A farmers' ball, in fact.

And I suspected he might be the right one.

And now I sound a bit like at a wedding.

-In any case, ladies and gentlemen… -Ladies and gentlemen, Davy D.

All answers to your questions are in the press file by the exit.

What is your real name? Is Davy your real name?

Davy D.? Idiot!

Are you the new Nicole and Hugo?

-What the hell is that? -Davy D.'s look, baby!

-At least tell me that's a wig. -It's real!

You stupid idiot!

Hey, I'm not stupid! I'm changing the system from the inside.

I thought you'd like it. Bleaching my teeth really hurt.

I did like you, idiot.

This wasn't the idea. Me as Cindy C. and you as you were,

that was the plan. But now you look like a chocolate bar in silver foil.

That's just some fundation, it washes off.

"Fundation"? Please, someone wake me up!

-You don't understand. Veronique… -I hoped you'd get me out of this

instead of diving straight in yourself. -Reverse psychology.

Reverse… Jesus Christ!

Why am I always so blind when it comes to men?

I don't understand how you can sell out like this. Why are you doing it?

It's a fuck you, Cindy. A fuck you to the establishment!

A complex fuck you. Not sure I understand it myself.

The establishment doesn't know who you are.

To them you are just Davy D., not Lee.

They think you're a chimpanzee in a shiny suit who happens to have a good voice

and who sings and dances to the record company's tune for peanuts.

-That's the irony, pal! -Yeah… yeah…

Yeah… yeah…

I thought I was naive, but I'm a nuclear scientist compared with you.

Sorry, professor.

Sorry if I offend your intelligence. But you became Cindy C., didn't you?

What is your real name? Yvonne Segers? Wiske Vermeulen? Jeanine…

Watch out for my "fundation"…

Boss! Boss!

God! That's disgusting!

Cindy.

Boss!

What the hell?

No invitation means no invitation.

This is private property, that is the public road.

No balls! You'll see who's got no balls. I am the coconut king!

Watch out for the car, sir.

Fucking hybrids. You don't hear them coming. Very dangerous!

There!

There, there, there. There you are.

Why did you use the demo?

Because you sang my song the best.

You could just have asked me.

-Would you have said yes? -No.

There you are then.

You make it all sound so simple.

Cindy…

Don't fall in love, Davy D.

I'm a lot older. And you are a lot younger.

That cancels each other out then.

-I don't care. -The rest of the world does.

What do we care about the rest of the world?

The rest of the world buys my records.

They don't buy mine at the moment so you're the only one with a problem.

Right, did you get it?

Can you photoshop this? In a good way. Make it worse.

Here.

Stay! You too, Francis.

Right, Stefan. We are going to destroy her.

The story about throat cancer should be exposed as a lie.

-It was our lie, Roland. -No one needs to know that.

She didn't try to deny it. Cindy C. is a fraud.

Your readers are entitled to the truth, aren't they?

We'll just do what we always threatened her we'd do.

We didn't know anything about it. It was her lie.

-Do you really want to go that far? -To infinity and beyond!

They are your words, we are only printing them.

Off the record, boss needs to be destroyed.

-What will it be? -Can I smoke here?

Hey, Roger baby, the same again for our table.

These are on me.

To Roland, the man who threw Cindy C. out on her ear.

To Roland!

It would be great if I could arrange some gigs for you, eh?

I've seen you perform. You're good.

-At the school fete? Or the farmers' ball? -You saw me too?

No, but they are the only gigs we've done.

Where's the singer you had back then? Because he wasn't very good.

No, I had to kick him out.

He's singing with your Cindy now.

Betrayed our friendship to make money.

He became a schmaltzy singer behind our back.

-Drugs and alcohol, probably. -No.

Yes, it was. All of that and more besides.

Pleased to meet you all. Stefan De Handschutter.

He regularly drowns local cats in a water butt.

Does he really?

Anything else?

I'm carrying his child.

-Pardon? -Yes, write that down.

"I'm carrying Davy D.'s child."

Gwen, have you taken something? You didn't hear that, pal.

You know that Cindy C.'s song?

Well, 'He Dumped Me'.

Fucking hell!

Fucking hell!

Queen of ballads, Cindy C., who made a spectacular comeback

partly thanks to overcoming throat cancer, turns out to be a fraud.

The lie was revealed by her ex-manager and ex-partner,

who claims he could no longer live with the deceit.

As Cindy's hit with Davy D. climbs to the top of the hit parade,

rumour has it that Davy has jilted his pregnant girlfriend.

She isn't really carrying your baby?

A while ago, a very emotional Cindy C. talked about her illness on TV.

Cindy was unavailable for comment.

It seems as if the year really is over for the once very popular singer.

-Do you want to talk about it? -Fancy getting drunk, Uncle?

Always.

What's the time?

Hey.

You're recording a spot for TV a bit later.

My father always said, "Don't be stupid, lad"

When I say that it's good You say that it's bad

When your father says something You say, "That's wrong, Dad"

You think that you know best…

Excuse me, could you…

OK, I'm ready…

Lying to the magazines, OK, but to me?

What am I doing here?

I thought we could trust each other, that we had something.

I should've known it meant nothing. Nothing.

The whole world is one big lie.

You probably aren't 35, you're probably 45.

Nice, wasn't it? Having a young guy in your bed for a change.

"Don't fall in love, Davy D."

-I can explain… -I'll read it at the dentist's.

When I get my teeth bleached again, boss.

Roland and De Handschutter…

They made up the story about the illness.

I… I had no choice.

My career. I couldn't go back.

I didn't tell the lie. But I didn't deny it either.

I just had my tonsils removed.

-That's it, cry. You lied. -We both lied, idiot!

You with your: "Fuck you, establishment, I am honest.

I oppose the establishment." Reverse psychology, my arse!

You let yourself be shafted by those who've been shafting me for years.

And your name isn't even Lee, dammit, it's Lieven.

That's just the name my parents gave me.

Is it? So why don't you use it?

You can talk, Cindy C.

What a cliché.

That's my name. My name is Cindy Coppens.

I saw you standing there on the stage and I believed you.

I saw someone baring his soul to two men and a dog.

You didn't care what they thought.

That gave me hope. For those two minutes I felt I could depend on you.

Then suddenly you are being Davy D.

And I still believed you, your naivety.

-You used me. -No, I didn't.

-That's not true. -It is.

I'll do it with one hand behind my back I don't need you

I'm tough, a punch I pack And you've retired, too

I'll do it with one hand behind my back I am in the pink

Rafaelo Ganda says See what you think

Rafaelo Ganda with his singalong hit 'One Hand Behind My Back'.

And now, your applause please for the one and only Cindy C.

and the no longer so mysterious Davy D.

When I think of all the dangers

Pain doesn't miss a beat

Fear makes my poor heart bleed

And I think, indeed

Is it a lie, am I weak

I can look into your eyes forever

All my breath is yours

When the storm's over at last

And everything has passed

You're the man, I'm your woman

I choose you In all my dreams

I choose you When I wake up

I choose you forever, darling

No one knows about you 'n me

But desire makes you forget reality

My heart beats next to yours

While my mind seeks a way to part

Ladies and gentlemen, a gold disc for Cindy C. and Davy D.!

I would like to thank you.

For your appreciation.

But I also want to apologise.

I lied to you and… I have no excuse.

I…

I was young when I started working in show business

and I have had some fantastic years thanks to all of you.

Then suddenly it was over.

These things happen, of course.

But I… I was so dazzled by success

that I wanted it again.

And then I lied to you.

I take full responsibility for it. For everything.

But this has opened my eyes.

Maybe too late.

I'm not asking you to forgive me because what I did is unforgivable.

But…

I hope, from the bottom of my heart,

that you will maybe try to understand me.

But if you turn your back on me, I will understand…

Sorry.

We love you, Cindy!

Cindy! Come here and let me kiss you!

What a speech! What a confession! What an act!

A toast. A toast to a gold disc, a gold decision and a gold speech.

Open those bubbles!

The iron is hot, guys. Hotter than a whore on a stove.

Lies or no lies, controversy is always good.

I cried, Cindy. I cried!

Our marketing boys couldn't have done any better.

Not for what they get paid.

And what are you going to do next, Cindy? Another duet or a full CD?

What I have wanted to do for a very long time, sleep.

Excellent! Sleeping is excellent. Everything is wonderful.

Whoever would have thought that honesty was the best policy?

Lennon and McCartney.

-Five euros on Gollum. -Ten on Papa Smurf.

Oh, man. Look, a real groupie. Yeah, she's looking at me.

-No, at me. -Then she's cross-eyed.

-What? -I say Rusty Razor.

-No egos. -I thought we were a rock band.

I'm kicking you out of the band, Petrus.

Sorry, Gwenny. Sorry. Listen.

Gwenny, Gwenny, Gwenny. I don't mind that the baby is Lee's.

It's not a bad thing. Lee's better looking than me, it'd be a cute baby.

It's not Lee's baby, idiot!

He was drunk, that was made up for the press, paid for by Roland.

What? It's mine after all? Even better!

It may not be so good-looking but at least it's a little Sven.

If it were really yours, I'd have had an abortion ages ago!

D'you know what?

D'you know what? You…

ugly…

creepy… girl!

-You're sacked. -No way. I resign.

I'm starting a solo career and Roland is going to make me a star!

Good luck to him! Gwenny, please, I'm sorry.

Listen a minute, Gwenny! Please.

Sven!

-Goddammit, man. -I've just heard your… conversation…

Right…

Well… Be glad, it's not yours!

The baby… The foety!

Foetus.

I thought it was kiddy, baby, foety.

Whatever, man! What are you doing here anyway?

Piss off, man! We don't need you anymore.

We've got an important concert tomorrow and I don't want you to fuck things up.

-A concert? Where? -Here.

And now if you'll excuse me.

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

We've been had, man.

Yeah. Right up the arse.

I don't think we've got a singer anymore.

-Sven… -No, I know what you are going to say.

I'm not as stupid as I look.

We've never had one.

Do you want me to…

For The Frog Class?

You're… Oh, my friend. My friend! My mate!

-You're back! -That'll do, that'll do.

I'm just going to officially finish with the hardware store.

That fucking Roger can keep his mitts off our ex!

Oh, hey, Sven!

All for one and one for all, man.

Roger! Have you got a minute?

You're working late.

-Roland… -Oh…

Everything OK?

We're carrying on. Boss must not get away with this.

The public love her, dammit.

It's like she's the Virgin fucking Mary and Lady fucking Di rolled into one.

-Because she's honest. -We have to destroy her.

Maybe we should, how shall I put it, change tack.

-What do you mean? -Maybe write positive articles about her.

-What? -She publicly confessed.

People loved it. Our magazine has to follow the star.

Otherwise we'll lose our readers and circulation will drop. Sorry.

I have to agree to that?

I've got a neurotic wife and three golden retrievers to feed.

-Have you ever broken your nose? -Leave it, Roland.

Telephone!

Hello? Yes?

Yes, he's here. He's standing here next to me.

It's for you.

Bastard!

Ladies and gentlemen, I…

Silence, please.

Hello!

Hey, you noisy bastards! Shut up, will you? Or do I have to show you my arse?

Show us your arse!

Show us your arse! Show us your arse! Show us your arse!

Guys! Hey, guys!

Yeah, OK, and girls too.

Thanks everyone for your warm welcome.

We'll see Dolf's arse after the interval.

That'll do, that'll do.

But before that, a brief announcement.

We've known each other for a long time, since Miss Peggy's Frog class.

We went our separate ways for a while but he's back now.

And here he is! Better known for his jeans.

Lee!

Davy D.? They'll never believe it at home. May I?

Just say hello everyone at home. Go on, Davy.

Hello everyone at home, my name is Lee.

Again. Do it again. It's not, it's Davy D. Action!

Hello everyone at home. My name's Lee. And this is…

Rusty Racer!

This song is about Cindy C.

The biggest lie that ever happened to me.

Cindy raises her eyes She isn't there yet

Will she reach so high Before the sun sets

Cindy lowers her eyes Lonely, distraught

Time passes by Vital for all

She has to fight till the last Till all pain has passed

Till she forgets all the pain When victory is gained

Up there it seems The view offers more

A horizon that beams

Under her own steam She rose up, for sure

Beyond the big mountain There is no more rain

That was magic.

There must have been something in the air because we're not really that good.

It was as if that wasn't me this evening, it was…

Someone else, I think.

It was you and you were good.

No, we weren't good, just that one song was good.

-We clung to your wings and we flew. -Wow, Benny! Clung to your wings!

Romantic drivel! I'm thirsty.

-Guys? -Coming.

See you in a moment.

-We really did cling to your wings. -Thanks.

-You really like her, don't you? -Who?

Brenda from the chip shop on the corner. Who?

That Cindy woman, silly.

Where is she?

-What happened? -She said: "Don't fall in love."

If she said that then she's definitely in love.

Women aren't simple, pal. Go after her.

And find her before she's 65 and wearing a nappy.

No, it's over. Over for good.

Yes, of course, I'm with him now. OK, see you next year, bye.

Lee! Lee, where is your laptop?

Where's that laptop? Come on, move. Where's that laptop?

Where is it, goddammit? Ah, here it is!

Here! Davy D. and Cindy C. are dead. Long live Rusty Racer!

Here, look. Here.

There! It's a hit.

This song is about Cindy C.

The biggest lie that ever happened to me.

Here. "The real face of Davy D."

"Davy is Lee." "Lee declares his love for Cindy."

You've done it, son! Veronique has been on the phone non-stop.

-You can be the support act for thingy. -For who?

Argh, it's on the tip of my tongue!

That idiot from TV with his ridiculous clothes.

-Which idiot? -I can't remember.

But this is Rusty Racer's big chance.

-Veronique? -Cindy, baby. It's raining, eh?

Yes, it's raining. -You need some sunshine, Cindy.

I'm giving you a ticket to the sun. At six you'll go to the airport.

Refusing is not an option.

Did you hear? Six this evening, not this morning, that's already gone.

Beyond the big mountain

There is no more rain

Cindy stands at its foot About to set forth

A very rough path She heads towards

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey. We've missed the exit.

No, no.

-You're taking the right one. -Dolf?

Dolf…

You're here now.

Please.

Thank you. You were a fantastic audience and you deserve better.

Enjoy the great band that is coming next.

There he is, the idiot from on TV.

We want more, we want more, we want more…

Come on, Dolf, take me home.

OK, but it was worth a try.

I'm Marcel Vanthilt, we are All Work And No Play. Good evening!

Cindy! Wait!

-Cindy, wait. -Yes, do Cindy again! Cindy!

-Boys! -Hold on, hold on.

Can they come back on?

Thank you. Thank you for being so enthusiastic.

-Sorry, Mr. Vanthilt. -Lee! Lee! She's here.

Ladies and gentlemen…

When I was born my parents called me Lieven

but one day I decided that wasn't my name.

And I called myself Lee.

Bad choice.

And when all my friends started calling me Lee,

-I decided I wanted to be Davy D. -I love you, Davy D.

No, no, no. Bad choice, madam. It really is.

I was born Lieven

and that is who I should be.

Even though I still think it's a stupid name.

-What's the idea? -A stage dive.

-My audience has never heard of it. -What's he up to?

Was I dreaming?

How am I supposed to know?

-What happened?

Moses. -What?

The audience parted, crash, concrete, hospital.

-She was there, wasn't she? -Who?

Cindy.

Yes, she was there.

-I want to go home. -Rest for a bit longer.

While I go and pay the bill. Close your eyes.

Sorry I dropped you.

Did you think you could fly?

-I thought they'd catch me. -You dope.

Now what?

I don't know.

Is "We'll see" a good answer?

The best one.

We'll see.

We'll see when we get there

We'll see when we get there

What the future brought I hadn't really sought

To be honest, you see It'd never occurred to me

It'd faded away We'd begun a new day

All of them can take a running jump Come on

We'll see when we get there

We'll see when we get there

We'll see when we get there

Then one more time And never again

And I assert It doesn't really hurt

Never look back, you see Never ask why me

Before you know it They say it's all changed key

Come on

We'll see when we get there

We'll see when we get there

We'll see when we get there

One, two, three.

Show us your arse! Show us your arse! Show us your arse!

Goddammit! "Our reporter takes Cindy C.'s ex-manager to court."

The bastard!

"Watch the film?"

Goddammit!

Fuck!

Goddammit! Boss!

Cindy!

Goddammit!

Cow! Cow, cow, cow, fat cow!