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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,191 --> 00:00:07,863 [♪♪] 2 00:00:07,865 --> 00:00:13,970 [♪♪] 3 00:00:14,938 --> 00:00:20,942 [♪♪] 4 00:00:20,944 --> 00:00:27,050 [♪♪] 5 00:00:33,089 --> 00:00:36,461 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 6 00:00:37,093 --> 00:00:40,464 [DOG BARKING] 7 00:00:42,996 --> 00:00:47,996 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 8 00:00:50,273 --> 00:00:52,541 [UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING] 9 00:00:52,543 --> 00:01:01,082 [♪♪] 10 00:01:01,084 --> 00:01:03,051 Hey, Cora. What's up? 11 00:01:03,053 --> 00:01:04,252 What's up, Cora? 12 00:01:04,254 --> 00:01:07,989 [♪♪] 13 00:01:07,991 --> 00:01:10,258 You look fantastic. 14 00:01:10,260 --> 00:01:13,728 No. You look electric. Electrifying. 15 00:01:13,730 --> 00:01:16,965 You look absolutely electrifying. 16 00:01:16,967 --> 00:01:26,240 [♪♪] 17 00:01:26,242 --> 00:01:35,883 [♪♪] 18 00:01:35,885 --> 00:01:45,159 [♪♪] 19 00:01:45,161 --> 00:01:54,802 [♪♪] 20 00:01:54,804 --> 00:01:56,270 Rats. 21 00:01:56,272 --> 00:02:02,311 [♪♪] 22 00:02:02,313 --> 00:02:04,346 [BRAKES SQUEAKING] 23 00:02:04,348 --> 00:02:09,283 [♪♪] 24 00:02:09,285 --> 00:02:12,054 What's up, Cora? 25 00:02:12,056 --> 00:02:17,224 [♪♪] 26 00:02:17,226 --> 00:02:19,728 [GARGLING] 27 00:02:19,730 --> 00:02:23,664 [CELLPHONE RINGING] 28 00:02:23,666 --> 00:02:25,933 Kat, please tell me you're not incarcerated. 29 00:02:25,935 --> 00:02:29,304 Not yet, but it's a distinct possibility. 30 00:02:29,306 --> 00:02:31,706 The lifeguard's still here. 31 00:02:31,708 --> 00:02:34,610 And there's a stupid "no bands" sign. 32 00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:37,079 - Oh, no. Disaster. - Mission abort? 33 00:02:37,081 --> 00:02:39,181 This is a finely tuned precision operation. 34 00:02:39,183 --> 00:02:40,414 No abortion. 35 00:02:40,416 --> 00:02:42,084 Distract them with your feminine charms, dude. 36 00:02:42,086 --> 00:02:44,986 Oh, God. Even his muscles have muscles. 37 00:02:44,988 --> 00:02:46,788 All right, I've got to go pick up Cora. 38 00:02:46,790 --> 00:02:48,390 I believe in you, Kat. 39 00:02:48,392 --> 00:02:57,898 [♪♪] 40 00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:59,367 I'll text you in, like, an hour. 41 00:02:59,369 --> 00:03:01,937 Stop being so mean. 42 00:03:01,939 --> 00:03:02,804 Cora! 43 00:03:02,806 --> 00:03:06,707 Wow! You look absolutely electrifying. 44 00:03:06,709 --> 00:03:08,377 Oh, God. Do you mean my hair? 45 00:03:08,379 --> 00:03:09,910 I usually blow it out, 46 00:03:09,912 --> 00:03:12,080 but I just could not be bothered tonight. 47 00:03:12,082 --> 00:03:16,183 Oh, well, you look great. Natural curls. 48 00:03:16,185 --> 00:03:20,989 I mean, you electrify the atoms and neutrinos, like, between us. 49 00:03:20,991 --> 00:03:23,991 Like, I can feel it across time and space. 50 00:03:23,993 --> 00:03:27,361 You just give everything a positive charge. 51 00:03:27,363 --> 00:03:29,296 - Are you rolling. - What? 52 00:03:29,298 --> 00:03:30,799 - Are you on Molly? - Oh. 53 00:03:30,801 --> 00:03:32,134 I want some. 54 00:03:32,136 --> 00:03:34,102 Um, no, no. 55 00:03:34,104 --> 00:03:37,806 I'm on a natural high just from being with you. 56 00:03:37,808 --> 00:03:39,206 [BOTH CHUCKLES] 57 00:03:39,208 --> 00:03:41,009 Um... 58 00:03:41,011 --> 00:03:44,081 [DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE] 59 00:03:45,882 --> 00:03:48,015 [DOOR SQUEAKS LOUDLY] 60 00:03:48,017 --> 00:03:49,986 Thanks. 61 00:03:53,423 --> 00:03:56,023 [SCREAMS] 62 00:03:56,025 --> 00:03:58,092 Help, help! 63 00:03:58,094 --> 00:04:02,164 Help! Help! 64 00:04:02,166 --> 00:04:04,265 Help! Help! 65 00:04:04,267 --> 00:04:07,971 [COUGHING] 66 00:04:12,475 --> 00:04:14,475 Okay, okay, cough it out. There you go. 67 00:04:14,477 --> 00:04:16,311 Cough it out. Okay. 68 00:04:16,313 --> 00:04:18,947 - Oh, my God. - There you go. 69 00:04:18,949 --> 00:04:23,020 [CONTINUES COUGHING] 70 00:04:26,323 --> 00:04:28,757 Take a deep, breathe. 71 00:04:28,759 --> 00:04:32,394 How many fingers am I holding up? 72 00:04:32,396 --> 00:04:34,699 Eight. 73 00:04:38,035 --> 00:04:41,037 All right, let's see if you can try and stand up. 74 00:04:42,239 --> 00:04:43,872 Want me to call your parents or something? 75 00:04:43,874 --> 00:04:46,208 No, no, I'm good, thank you. 76 00:04:46,210 --> 00:04:48,112 Thanks for the rescue. 77 00:04:50,314 --> 00:04:52,146 Are there dolphins in Malibu? 78 00:04:52,148 --> 00:04:53,148 Yes. 79 00:04:53,150 --> 00:04:55,750 - Dolphins are my spirit animal. - Oh, really, 80 00:04:55,752 --> 00:04:57,151 - Mm-hmm. - Mine's an aardvark. 81 00:04:57,153 --> 00:04:59,053 Do they eat ants? 82 00:04:59,055 --> 00:05:00,855 And stop. 83 00:05:00,857 --> 00:05:04,091 All right. I'm going to blindfold. 84 00:05:04,093 --> 00:05:06,995 Dude, uh, I mean, I'm usually down, but, um... 85 00:05:06,997 --> 00:05:09,964 Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, this isn't a sexy thing. 86 00:05:09,966 --> 00:05:11,833 It's a surprise, I promise. Okay? 87 00:05:11,835 --> 00:05:14,069 I just need to strap this on you. 88 00:05:14,071 --> 00:05:17,338 And yelp if it gets too tight. 89 00:05:17,340 --> 00:05:18,507 - Aah! - Oh. 90 00:05:18,509 --> 00:05:21,278 - I'm kidding. [LAUGHS] - Oh. Okay. 91 00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:25,781 We're almost there, okay? 92 00:05:25,783 --> 00:05:27,516 Really close. [INSTRUMENTS STRUMMING] 93 00:05:27,518 --> 00:05:29,417 I'm so excited. 94 00:05:29,419 --> 00:05:30,918 Oh, me too. 95 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,321 All right, so, okay, step right here. 96 00:05:33,323 --> 00:05:35,223 You can take your blindfold off now. 97 00:05:35,225 --> 00:05:37,858 [INSTRUMENTS PLAYING A MELLOW, TROPICAL-ESQUE SONG] 98 00:05:37,860 --> 00:05:41,129 [SCREAMS] 99 00:05:41,131 --> 00:05:42,963 [LAUGHS] 100 00:05:42,965 --> 00:05:45,834 [GASPS] Oh, my God! 101 00:05:45,836 --> 00:05:48,235 Oh, Cy! 102 00:05:48,237 --> 00:05:49,303 Oh. 103 00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:54,141 Oh, wow! this is a really great prom-posal, dude. 104 00:05:54,143 --> 00:05:58,547 Oh, wow, I'm... I'm flattered. I really am. 105 00:05:58,549 --> 00:06:00,415 But? 106 00:06:00,417 --> 00:06:02,216 [♪♪] 107 00:06:02,218 --> 00:06:04,519 [CHUCKLES] 108 00:06:04,521 --> 00:06:07,158 [♪♪] 109 00:06:08,826 --> 00:06:10,927 Oh, okay. 110 00:06:12,429 --> 00:06:16,096 When I imagine my perfect, magical prom night 111 00:06:16,098 --> 00:06:17,932 a night that I'm going to remember 112 00:06:17,934 --> 00:06:21,202 for the rest of my life, I just... 113 00:06:21,204 --> 00:06:24,305 I just can't imagine you going down on me. 114 00:06:24,307 --> 00:06:27,209 It's a special night. 115 00:06:27,211 --> 00:06:31,348 And I've just always imagined it ending with lady head. 116 00:06:33,182 --> 00:06:34,583 I mean, we wouldn't have to... 117 00:06:34,585 --> 00:06:36,151 Oh, no, it'd have to. 118 00:06:36,153 --> 00:06:38,452 it's a very important part of my prom fantasy. 119 00:06:38,454 --> 00:06:40,021 I'm sorry. 120 00:06:40,023 --> 00:06:42,893 You'll find a girl that you're right for. 121 00:06:45,028 --> 00:06:47,194 I'll call an Uber. 122 00:06:47,196 --> 00:06:52,600 [♪♪] 123 00:06:52,602 --> 00:06:58,372 [♪♪] 124 00:06:58,374 --> 00:07:00,175 - [DOOR OPENS] - Cy. 125 00:07:00,177 --> 00:07:01,910 What are you doing? You have to get up. 126 00:07:01,912 --> 00:07:04,144 I'm sick, or whatever excuse 127 00:07:04,146 --> 00:07:06,047 seems the most believable. 128 00:07:06,049 --> 00:07:08,617 You think it's terminal? 129 00:07:08,619 --> 00:07:11,452 Hey. You masturbating? 130 00:07:11,454 --> 00:07:13,487 Oh, God, no. 131 00:07:13,489 --> 00:07:15,055 Leave him alone. 132 00:07:15,057 --> 00:07:16,958 I don't think his date went very well. 133 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,961 Oh, women, huh? Yeah. Gotta say. 134 00:07:20,963 --> 00:07:22,497 You know what I don't understand? 135 00:07:22,499 --> 00:07:25,901 Is how could someone not fall, like, totally head over heels, 136 00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:28,435 like, madly in love with my extraordinary, 137 00:07:28,437 --> 00:07:30,906 handsome, amazing, smart son? 138 00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:32,339 She said she couldn't go with me 139 00:07:32,341 --> 00:07:35,910 because she couldn't imagine me going down on her. 140 00:07:35,912 --> 00:07:38,312 Ah. Well, is, uh... 141 00:07:38,314 --> 00:07:41,016 is oral sex this year's prom theme? 142 00:07:41,018 --> 00:07:44,451 [WOMEN LAUGH] 143 00:07:44,453 --> 00:07:46,254 Oh, come on, come on! 144 00:07:46,256 --> 00:07:48,490 You have to admit it's a very important aspect 145 00:07:48,492 --> 00:07:49,658 - of lovemaking. - Mom! 146 00:07:49,660 --> 00:07:51,526 I mean, it's true. It really is. 147 00:07:51,528 --> 00:07:53,627 What? What, are you gonna be all Puritan on me? 148 00:07:53,629 --> 00:07:55,129 I mean, my gosh, grow a pair 149 00:07:55,131 --> 00:07:56,997 so we can actually converse like adults. 150 00:07:56,999 --> 00:07:58,333 - [GROANS] - Right? 151 00:07:58,335 --> 00:08:00,701 And enjoy talking about the very important act 152 00:08:00,703 --> 00:08:02,536 - of just human sexuality. - [MOUTHING] 153 00:08:02,538 --> 00:08:04,139 What? I mean, honestly, sweetie, 154 00:08:04,141 --> 00:08:07,042 if I could not appreciate that actual experience with you, 155 00:08:07,044 --> 00:08:09,410 I don't know what I would do. [SMOOCHES] 156 00:08:09,412 --> 00:08:12,413 - Oh, God. Make its stop. - Cy, look at me. 157 00:08:12,415 --> 00:08:15,417 You are the most interesting, kind, 158 00:08:15,419 --> 00:08:17,351 caring kid I've ever given birth to. 159 00:08:17,353 --> 00:08:19,420 And if she can't see that, well, then she's a total idiot. 160 00:08:19,422 --> 00:08:21,523 Well, I'm the only kid you've ever given birth to. 161 00:08:21,525 --> 00:08:24,192 All right. Don't mince words with me, young man. 162 00:08:24,194 --> 00:08:25,526 - Hey! - Oh, yeah. 163 00:08:25,528 --> 00:08:28,295 - Speaking of smarty pants... - Good morning! 164 00:08:28,297 --> 00:08:30,165 - Open it already! - Yeah, I will, I will. 165 00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:31,432 - Come on. - All right. 166 00:08:31,434 --> 00:08:33,434 - Read it, read it. - All right, all right. 167 00:08:33,436 --> 00:08:35,537 Well, I mean, it just says that I've gotten all "A" s. 168 00:08:35,539 --> 00:08:38,273 [WOMEN CHEERING AND CLAPPING] 169 00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:40,442 [LAUGHING] Oh, no, no! Oh, God. 170 00:08:40,444 --> 00:08:42,409 Okay, okay. 171 00:08:42,411 --> 00:08:44,312 - We're so proud of you. - Thanks. 172 00:08:44,314 --> 00:08:45,178 Mwah! 173 00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:48,182 So, you know how, like, you said that 174 00:08:48,184 --> 00:08:51,019 if I got straight "A" s, you'd get me anything I wanted, right? 175 00:08:51,021 --> 00:08:52,687 Yeah. Not, like, a pony, but yeah. 176 00:08:52,689 --> 00:08:54,188 It's not a pony. 177 00:08:54,190 --> 00:08:55,724 Well, 'cause, like, I have been, like, 178 00:08:55,726 --> 00:08:57,392 putting thought into this. 179 00:08:57,394 --> 00:09:00,028 Like, I'm spending hours and hours contemplating what I want. 180 00:09:00,030 --> 00:09:02,529 And I... well... 181 00:09:02,531 --> 00:09:04,334 this is what I want. 182 00:09:07,069 --> 00:09:09,070 I'd have to do a few procedures first and then... 183 00:09:09,072 --> 00:09:12,240 - What is it, cosmetic surgery? - Why would you want to do this? 184 00:09:12,242 --> 00:09:14,542 Why do you think? It's 'cause I'm hideous. 185 00:09:14,544 --> 00:09:17,479 - What are you talking about? - I'm disgusting. 186 00:09:17,481 --> 00:09:20,414 Honey, you are just extraordinary and amazing. 187 00:09:20,416 --> 00:09:22,283 What are... what... I don't understand. 188 00:09:22,285 --> 00:09:23,618 - You're so unique. I don't... - This doesn't make any sense. 189 00:09:23,620 --> 00:09:25,787 Look at me. My mouth is too small for my face, 190 00:09:25,789 --> 00:09:27,187 and nostrils are asymmetrical. 191 00:09:27,189 --> 00:09:30,325 I've got one eye that's, like, way bigger than the other. 192 00:09:30,327 --> 00:09:33,094 - [CHUCKLES] My face is ugly. - This is not happening. No. 193 00:09:33,096 --> 00:09:34,796 - [CELLPHONE CHIMES] - No, absolutely not. 194 00:09:34,798 --> 00:09:37,432 - Wait. - No. No! 195 00:09:37,434 --> 00:09:40,134 [SIGHS] All right, it's Kat. I've got to get dressed. 196 00:09:40,136 --> 00:09:42,736 Can you please...? 197 00:09:42,738 --> 00:09:44,339 He gets this from you, you know. 198 00:09:44,341 --> 00:09:46,374 No, I think he gets it from the anonymous donor... 199 00:09:46,376 --> 00:09:48,043 It's always the anonymous donor. 200 00:09:48,045 --> 00:09:49,644 - Please, please. - It's not your perfectionism. 201 00:09:49,646 --> 00:09:51,578 Please tell Kat I said hello. This is crazy. 202 00:09:51,580 --> 00:09:53,248 All right, I will. 203 00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:55,450 And don't ever show me that or go to that place again. 204 00:09:55,452 --> 00:09:58,052 - Hurry up. - Can you please close the door? 205 00:09:58,054 --> 00:10:00,587 No. 206 00:10:00,589 --> 00:10:02,389 You're gonna be fine! 207 00:10:02,391 --> 00:10:06,126 You kinda just turned her into this, like, sexy, 208 00:10:06,128 --> 00:10:07,562 unattainable archetype. 209 00:10:07,564 --> 00:10:09,697 I loved her. 210 00:10:09,699 --> 00:10:12,667 No. No, you didn't. 211 00:10:12,669 --> 00:10:14,201 She's dead to me now. 212 00:10:14,203 --> 00:10:16,607 But you didn't even know her. 213 00:10:18,809 --> 00:10:21,676 I feel like my organs are being ripped through my orifices. 214 00:10:21,678 --> 00:10:24,245 - [MIMICS SUCKING] - No, the small ones, 215 00:10:24,247 --> 00:10:26,413 - like my urethra. - [LAUGHS] Oh, gross! 216 00:10:26,415 --> 00:10:29,317 Yeah, no, that's how I feel right now. 217 00:10:29,319 --> 00:10:31,852 Okay, well, I need your lungs to help me practice 218 00:10:31,854 --> 00:10:35,423 for my audition, so let's go. 219 00:10:35,425 --> 00:10:36,523 [DOOR SQUEAKS] 220 00:10:36,525 --> 00:10:39,293 - [SCHOOL BELL RINGS] - It doesn't matter how lazy, 221 00:10:39,295 --> 00:10:41,495 stupid, or uncultured you are. 222 00:10:41,497 --> 00:10:43,498 It's like, if you have a pretty face, 223 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:45,501 people love you. 224 00:10:47,103 --> 00:10:50,406 For example... Chris Newton. 225 00:10:52,309 --> 00:10:54,741 Hiya! 226 00:10:54,743 --> 00:10:56,711 - Wat-sa! - Good, good. 227 00:10:56,713 --> 00:10:59,114 Just make sure you get my tricep on this one. 228 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:01,482 Yeah, I see it. It's divine. 229 00:11:01,484 --> 00:11:07,788 [♪♪] 230 00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:14,461 [♪♪] 231 00:11:14,463 --> 00:11:16,563 Hiya! 232 00:11:16,565 --> 00:11:21,802 [♪♪] 233 00:11:21,804 --> 00:11:24,672 He's so dreamy. 234 00:11:24,674 --> 00:11:26,543 I'd do him. 235 00:11:28,678 --> 00:11:31,211 Oh, my God! That was totally Tourettic. 236 00:11:31,213 --> 00:11:32,813 - You meant that. - No, no, no. 237 00:11:32,815 --> 00:11:35,283 Only my deepest reptilian brain. 238 00:11:35,285 --> 00:11:38,387 Your reptilian brain is disgusting. 239 00:11:39,455 --> 00:11:42,222 Wait. Oh, my God. You're jelly! 240 00:11:42,224 --> 00:11:44,192 What? No, I'm not. That's preposterous. 241 00:11:44,194 --> 00:11:45,759 - Yeah, you are. - Ah! 242 00:11:45,761 --> 00:11:48,328 You're the boner dude that Cora Davidson said 243 00:11:48,330 --> 00:11:49,596 that she would puke if he ate her peach. 244 00:11:49,598 --> 00:11:52,634 What? Peach? Wait. She didn't say that. 245 00:11:52,636 --> 00:11:54,635 Rad boner, though, dude. 246 00:11:54,637 --> 00:11:57,705 - Ow. - [LAUGHING] 247 00:11:57,707 --> 00:12:00,542 [CELLPHONE CAMERA CLICKING] 248 00:12:00,544 --> 00:12:02,342 - Oh, Cy. - What? 249 00:12:02,344 --> 00:12:05,746 When I imagine my perfect magical prom night, 250 00:12:05,748 --> 00:12:07,782 a night that I'm going to remember 251 00:12:07,784 --> 00:12:09,384 for the rest of my life, 252 00:12:09,386 --> 00:12:11,852 I just can't imagine you going down on me. 253 00:12:11,854 --> 00:12:15,389 - I mean, we wouldn't have to... - Oh, no, it'd have to. 254 00:12:15,391 --> 00:12:18,393 What asshole troll posted this? 255 00:12:18,395 --> 00:12:20,564 You'll find a girl that... 256 00:12:23,466 --> 00:12:26,734 Well, it's kind of an in-involuntary reflex, right? 257 00:12:26,736 --> 00:12:29,303 I mean, you can't control what pops up. 258 00:12:29,305 --> 00:12:31,538 [LAUGHTER] 259 00:12:31,540 --> 00:12:33,640 Well, I-I don't think you have anything to be ashamed of. 260 00:12:33,642 --> 00:12:37,245 I mean, it's just, um, I don't have that much experience 261 00:12:37,247 --> 00:12:38,679 with, like... 262 00:12:38,681 --> 00:12:40,581 [LAUGHTER, CELLPHONE CAMERAS CLICKING] 263 00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:43,384 ...or any experience at all, but I don't... 264 00:12:43,386 --> 00:12:45,452 you know, I-I wouldn't feel bad about it. 265 00:12:45,454 --> 00:12:46,955 This is a glitch in the matrix. 266 00:12:46,957 --> 00:12:49,490 - Boner boy! - Oh, my God. I'm in hell. 267 00:12:49,492 --> 00:12:52,527 I feel like I'm gonna puke up my entire soul. 268 00:12:52,529 --> 00:12:55,230 - [SIGHS] - Your entire soul? 269 00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:56,496 Wah-hiya! 270 00:12:56,498 --> 00:12:57,966 Dude, it's the fuckin' boner dude. 271 00:12:57,968 --> 00:13:01,469 Dude, kick his ass. Right now. Go! Go! 272 00:13:01,471 --> 00:13:04,605 - Hiya! - Oh! Oh, you got... oh! 273 00:13:04,607 --> 00:13:07,609 Oh, shit. What the hell? You asshole. 274 00:13:07,611 --> 00:13:09,610 Motherfucker! Oh! 275 00:13:09,612 --> 00:13:11,745 Hey, get off me! What are you doing? 276 00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:13,248 Oh! 277 00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:15,515 - You're the king! - We're dancing! 278 00:13:15,517 --> 00:13:17,784 Yeah! Post it, bro! 279 00:13:17,786 --> 00:13:21,288 So, can you stop acting like an effing idiot, please? 280 00:13:21,290 --> 00:13:24,325 Thank you. Just, you know, up your medication 281 00:13:24,327 --> 00:13:26,561 do Pilates, or something. I don't know. 282 00:13:26,563 --> 00:13:28,830 Have a lovely time in detention. 283 00:13:28,832 --> 00:13:30,597 And you, Mr. Newton, 284 00:13:30,599 --> 00:13:33,634 what's with your stupid karate-chopping videos? 285 00:13:33,636 --> 00:13:35,903 Hiya! 286 00:13:35,905 --> 00:13:38,605 [SIGHS] Bro, if I would have gotten suspended, 287 00:13:38,607 --> 00:13:40,008 my mom would have lost her shit. 288 00:13:40,010 --> 00:13:42,476 Yeah, sorry, I kinda lost my shit. 289 00:13:42,478 --> 00:13:43,977 Dude, you got anger issues, man. 290 00:13:43,979 --> 00:13:46,380 - You need to check that shit out. - Yeah. How about you try getting 291 00:13:46,382 --> 00:13:48,316 a video of you passed around around you getting 292 00:13:48,318 --> 00:13:50,317 royally dissed while having an erection? 293 00:13:50,319 --> 00:13:52,787 That's no big deal, bro. Rock the sconge. 294 00:13:52,789 --> 00:13:55,289 - Sconge? - Yeah. 295 00:13:55,291 --> 00:13:57,725 - Boner town, bro. - Geez, man. 296 00:13:57,727 --> 00:14:00,495 [CELLPHONE VIBRATING AND MAKING KARATE SOUNDS] 297 00:14:00,497 --> 00:14:02,629 Well, gotta fly, Cy. 298 00:14:02,631 --> 00:14:05,633 [LAUGHING] Oh, shit! Fly, Cy. 299 00:14:05,635 --> 00:14:07,902 He sees the girls, the pee-pee gets high. 300 00:14:07,904 --> 00:14:09,773 [LAUGHS] 301 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:20,416 [MUFFLED LAUGHTER] 302 00:14:27,957 --> 00:14:30,390 - I saw your video. - Okay, it's not mine. 303 00:14:30,392 --> 00:14:32,826 And, also, why do people think it's, like, 304 00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,828 okay to come up to me and tell me that they've seen 305 00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:37,030 something super private and totally mortifying? 306 00:14:37,032 --> 00:14:41,469 [LOUDLY] And, also, it's just a stupid erection, okay? 307 00:14:41,471 --> 00:14:43,937 Like, so, come on. Who doesn't get one? 308 00:14:43,939 --> 00:14:46,443 Shh! [LAUGHTER] 309 00:14:48,344 --> 00:14:51,812 I-I don't... get them. 310 00:14:51,814 --> 00:14:54,014 I mean, I guess there's, like, such thing as a lady boner, 311 00:14:54,016 --> 00:14:55,584 but... 312 00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:01,022 I'm sorry. It's been a long day. 313 00:15:01,024 --> 00:15:02,823 I'm Cy. 314 00:15:02,825 --> 00:15:04,991 I'm Roxy, and I'm sorry, 315 00:15:04,993 --> 00:15:07,861 I probably came off like such a dick just now. 316 00:15:07,863 --> 00:15:09,897 You're new, right? 317 00:15:09,899 --> 00:15:11,966 It's my first day. 318 00:15:11,968 --> 00:15:14,701 Wow. Super auspicious start. 319 00:15:14,703 --> 00:15:18,105 Nice job lending in detention on day one. 320 00:15:18,107 --> 00:15:19,974 Seriously, you're my hero. 321 00:15:19,976 --> 00:15:23,644 Oh, well, I saw you jump on that gorilla. 322 00:15:23,646 --> 00:15:25,113 Why did they threw you in here? 323 00:15:25,115 --> 00:15:29,082 I was ranting about "1984" being an inherently sexist text. 324 00:15:29,084 --> 00:15:32,019 I guess that that was, uh, disruptive. 325 00:15:32,021 --> 00:15:34,121 So they tossed me in this gulag. 326 00:15:34,123 --> 00:15:36,456 "1984" is sexist? 327 00:15:36,458 --> 00:15:38,594 Yeah. Look. 328 00:15:39,828 --> 00:15:41,662 You ready? 329 00:15:41,664 --> 00:15:43,730 "The improvement in her appearance was startling. 330 00:15:43,732 --> 00:15:45,799 With just a few dabs of color in the right places, 331 00:15:45,801 --> 00:15:48,403 she'd become not only very much prettier, 332 00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:51,105 but above all, far more feminine." 333 00:15:51,107 --> 00:15:52,740 He's saying that we need capitalism 334 00:15:52,742 --> 00:15:55,109 because it allows, even encourages, women 335 00:15:55,111 --> 00:15:58,078 to paint their faces to be more desirable to men. 336 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:02,417 In fact, like, he's saying that that's what makes them women. 337 00:16:02,419 --> 00:16:04,051 It's a great book in many ways. 338 00:16:04,053 --> 00:16:08,623 But let's just be conscious of inherent gender bias. 339 00:16:08,625 --> 00:16:10,892 - Wow. - When I imagine... 340 00:16:10,894 --> 00:16:12,994 [LAUGHING] 341 00:16:12,996 --> 00:16:16,197 Cy, this really sucks. 342 00:16:16,199 --> 00:16:17,631 Do you realize this is gonna be on here 343 00:16:17,633 --> 00:16:19,769 until the Internet breaks? 344 00:16:22,171 --> 00:16:26,974 It's up to, um, 232,000. 345 00:16:26,976 --> 00:16:29,943 You'll find a girl that you're right for. 346 00:16:29,945 --> 00:16:31,881 [LAUGHTER] 347 00:16:39,655 --> 00:16:41,589 What are you still doing here? 348 00:16:41,591 --> 00:16:43,124 Oh, well, it's always so depressing 349 00:16:43,126 --> 00:16:44,524 when you get released from jail 350 00:16:44,526 --> 00:16:45,927 and, like, no one's there to meet you. 351 00:16:45,929 --> 00:16:49,230 - Mm. - I hate that. 352 00:16:49,232 --> 00:16:51,731 Hi. I, uh... 353 00:16:51,733 --> 00:16:55,536 you guys are so, like... like the... 354 00:16:55,538 --> 00:16:57,672 I am Roxy. Hi. Nice to meet you. 355 00:16:57,674 --> 00:16:59,807 Oh, hi. Yes, I am Kat. 356 00:16:59,809 --> 00:17:01,576 - I like what you're wearing. - I like your skirt. 357 00:17:01,578 --> 00:17:02,876 - Oh, thank you. I... - Jinx. 358 00:17:02,878 --> 00:17:06,113 - I made it myself. - Oh, yeah, yeah. 359 00:17:06,115 --> 00:17:08,082 - I made this, too. - Ah! 360 00:17:08,084 --> 00:17:09,784 Yeah. 361 00:17:09,786 --> 00:17:12,823 All my clothes are made by Bangladeshi children. 362 00:17:15,157 --> 00:17:16,857 - Okay. - That was... all right. 363 00:17:16,859 --> 00:17:18,226 - Um... - I'll see you guys later. 364 00:17:18,228 --> 00:17:20,494 - It was nice to meet you. - Yeah. Here. 365 00:17:20,496 --> 00:17:23,263 - My lady. - Thank you. 366 00:17:23,265 --> 00:17:25,199 Those were for me, but okay. 367 00:17:25,201 --> 00:17:29,769 [♪♪] 368 00:17:29,771 --> 00:17:31,672 You could have offered her a ride. 369 00:17:31,674 --> 00:17:33,641 I'm already enough of a pariah. 370 00:17:33,643 --> 00:17:35,742 I'm not gonna embarrass myself further. 371 00:17:35,744 --> 00:17:45,185 [♪♪] 372 00:17:45,187 --> 00:17:54,996 [♪♪] 373 00:17:54,998 --> 00:17:57,934 Ooh! Frosty! 374 00:18:00,970 --> 00:18:03,069 Icy! 375 00:18:03,071 --> 00:18:10,111 [♪♪] 376 00:18:10,113 --> 00:18:17,151 [♪♪] 377 00:18:17,153 --> 00:18:24,191 [♪♪] 378 00:18:24,193 --> 00:18:25,826 Hello. 379 00:18:25,828 --> 00:18:28,663 My magical skateboard never lets me down. 380 00:18:28,665 --> 00:18:31,031 - Oh. - Just led me straight to you. 381 00:18:31,033 --> 00:18:32,700 I'm soy Chris, señorita. 382 00:18:32,702 --> 00:18:34,769 Just learned that in that Spanish class. 383 00:18:34,771 --> 00:18:36,304 Cool. 384 00:18:36,306 --> 00:18:39,740 Um... hiya! 385 00:18:39,742 --> 00:18:41,041 - [LAUGHING] Right? - Hmm? 386 00:18:41,043 --> 00:18:42,910 I'm the guy! I'm the guy from the videos. 387 00:18:42,912 --> 00:18:44,912 - I do the "hiya" videos. - The... I don't... 388 00:18:44,914 --> 00:18:46,314 You have to have seen the videos. 389 00:18:46,316 --> 00:18:48,782 - No, I... - You've never seen the videos? 390 00:18:48,784 --> 00:18:50,351 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 391 00:18:50,353 --> 00:18:52,353 [FENCE BANGS] Oh, shit! Oh! 392 00:18:52,355 --> 00:18:55,122 - You okay? - Yeah, I just hit my face. 393 00:18:55,124 --> 00:18:57,191 I think you might need to nurse me back to health. 394 00:18:57,193 --> 00:18:58,925 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 395 00:18:58,927 --> 00:19:03,631 Well, um, maybe... maybe your your comrades could babysit you. 396 00:19:03,633 --> 00:19:07,067 Listen, the only baby here is you, babe, 397 00:19:07,069 --> 00:19:10,637 as in a, "Hey, baby, you're a babe" way. 398 00:19:10,639 --> 00:19:13,974 - Wow. - You are a babe. 399 00:19:13,976 --> 00:19:16,076 - Wow. That was, um... - Smooth? 400 00:19:16,078 --> 00:19:18,746 That was really smooth, Soy Chris, yeah. 401 00:19:18,748 --> 00:19:20,247 What bad '90s song was that from? 402 00:19:20,249 --> 00:19:22,117 It's not. It's all me. 403 00:19:24,953 --> 00:19:28,122 - What else you got? - Uh... 404 00:19:28,124 --> 00:19:29,957 [CHUCKLES] I'm a... um... 405 00:19:29,959 --> 00:19:31,858 Yeah, you should expand your repertoire, dude. 406 00:19:31,860 --> 00:19:33,827 Wh... don't bounce yet, don't bounce yet. 407 00:19:33,829 --> 00:19:36,196 Okay, give me one reason. 408 00:19:36,198 --> 00:19:38,265 I want to do a 720 gazelle flip for you. Watch. 409 00:19:38,267 --> 00:19:40,101 Look, Chris, I'm not trying to be an ass... 410 00:19:40,103 --> 00:19:42,872 Just wait. Just wait. Watch, watch, watch. 411 00:19:52,714 --> 00:19:54,884 [CHUCKLES] 412 00:20:03,826 --> 00:20:05,859 - Wow! - Whoo! 413 00:20:05,861 --> 00:20:08,028 - Pretty dope, huh? - That was, um... 414 00:20:08,030 --> 00:20:10,330 - Pretty cool, huh? - That was really impressive. 415 00:20:10,332 --> 00:20:12,133 You sure you haven't seen any of my videos? 416 00:20:12,135 --> 00:20:13,867 - I haven't. - Some of them average 417 00:20:13,869 --> 00:20:16,804 like 250,000 views. That's like a million people. 418 00:20:16,806 --> 00:20:19,272 That is like a million people. That's rad, yeah. 419 00:20:19,274 --> 00:20:22,009 - You should probably, um... - You have to have heard of me! 420 00:20:22,011 --> 00:20:23,376 ...re-crunch your numbers, though, man. 421 00:20:23,378 --> 00:20:25,813 Let me take you out. We could... 422 00:20:25,815 --> 00:20:27,882 I don't know, bowl or some shit. 423 00:20:27,884 --> 00:20:30,317 - "Bowl or some shit"? - Huh? You bowl? 424 00:20:30,319 --> 00:20:34,355 Um, no. Look, you seem like a, uh, 425 00:20:34,357 --> 00:20:39,460 a really swell guy, but I'm just not interested. 426 00:20:39,462 --> 00:20:41,996 - In-Interested in me? - Yes. 427 00:20:41,998 --> 00:20:43,798 Well, what are you interested in? 428 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:47,902 Um, art, reading, women's rights. 429 00:20:47,904 --> 00:20:49,303 I'm actually trying to get into a good college 430 00:20:49,305 --> 00:20:52,772 so I can make this, like, a less-shitty planet. 431 00:20:52,774 --> 00:20:54,909 Well, I mean, I like planets, too. 432 00:20:54,911 --> 00:20:56,777 Like, I don't want a shitty planet. 433 00:20:56,779 --> 00:20:59,281 Right. I'm... 434 00:21:03,786 --> 00:21:05,452 [SIGHS] 435 00:21:05,454 --> 00:21:09,125 I spent a summer building houses in Vietnam for poor people! 436 00:21:11,426 --> 00:21:13,193 [GROANS] Shit. 437 00:21:13,195 --> 00:21:18,201 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 438 00:21:21,803 --> 00:21:23,436 She said no, bro. 439 00:21:23,438 --> 00:21:26,339 Damn. 440 00:21:26,341 --> 00:21:27,775 You want to... you want a hug? 441 00:21:27,777 --> 00:21:29,242 No, I don't want a hug! 442 00:21:29,244 --> 00:21:31,479 We're at a skate park, man. 443 00:21:31,481 --> 00:21:34,017 What are you thinking? 444 00:21:37,220 --> 00:21:40,488 All right, fine, bro. 445 00:21:40,490 --> 00:21:42,222 Oh, easy. 446 00:21:42,224 --> 00:21:50,131 [♪♪] 447 00:21:50,133 --> 00:21:58,071 [♪♪] 448 00:21:58,073 --> 00:22:05,846 [♪♪] 449 00:22:05,848 --> 00:22:08,015 [CELLPHONE CAMERA CLICKS] 450 00:22:08,017 --> 00:22:14,023 [♪♪] 451 00:22:35,877 --> 00:22:37,880 [CELLPHONE CAMERA CLICKS] 452 00:22:40,282 --> 00:22:42,217 [EXHALES] 453 00:22:49,925 --> 00:22:52,292 [KROLUX'S "FOR FOREVER" PLAYING] 454 00:22:52,294 --> 00:23:01,402 [♪♪] 455 00:23:01,404 --> 00:23:10,477 [♪♪] 456 00:23:10,479 --> 00:23:14,615 [INDISTINCT SINGING] 457 00:23:14,617 --> 00:23:20,587 [♪♪] 458 00:23:20,589 --> 00:23:26,426 [♪♪] 459 00:23:26,428 --> 00:23:30,096 ♪ I'll save you, girl, from everything ♪ 460 00:23:30,098 --> 00:23:34,201 ♪ You see these curls? They grow naturally ♪ 461 00:23:34,203 --> 00:23:41,575 [♪♪] 462 00:23:41,577 --> 00:23:49,083 [♪♪] 463 00:23:49,085 --> 00:23:52,653 [INDISTINCT SINGING] 464 00:23:52,655 --> 00:23:58,659 [♪♪] 465 00:23:58,661 --> 00:24:04,664 [♪♪] 466 00:24:04,666 --> 00:24:06,366 - Hiya! - Aaaah! 467 00:24:06,368 --> 00:24:09,236 [LAUGHS] Whoa, bro, 468 00:24:09,238 --> 00:24:11,137 I totally shut down your sexy me time. 469 00:24:11,139 --> 00:24:12,472 - No, you didn't, no, you didn't. - I did. 470 00:24:12,474 --> 00:24:14,040 Yeah, you got the music going... 471 00:24:14,042 --> 00:24:15,576 - No, no, no, no. - ...you go the shirt off. 472 00:24:15,578 --> 00:24:17,944 - I see... - Hey, boys. 473 00:24:17,946 --> 00:24:19,680 Do you two want some couscous? 474 00:24:19,682 --> 00:24:21,515 No, that's gross, Mom. 475 00:24:21,517 --> 00:24:24,518 - Okay, thank you. You can go. - All right, privacy time. 476 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:27,153 - Have fun, friends. - Have fun. Have a great night. 477 00:24:27,155 --> 00:24:28,489 Okay. 478 00:24:28,491 --> 00:24:31,157 Dude, you have two moms? Those are your moms? 479 00:24:31,159 --> 00:24:33,928 - Yep. - [GASPS] No way! 480 00:24:33,930 --> 00:24:35,229 I mean, that's... that's totally fine. 481 00:24:35,231 --> 00:24:36,497 - Like, it's cool. - Oh, yeah. 482 00:24:36,499 --> 00:24:37,998 I'll tell them that you're cool with it. 483 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,333 Cool, cool, cool. 484 00:24:39,335 --> 00:24:42,102 Hey, if you don't mind me asking, who's the man? 485 00:24:42,104 --> 00:24:45,538 There is no man, dumbass. That's the point. 486 00:24:45,540 --> 00:24:49,143 [LAUGHS] Right, right. Um... 487 00:24:49,145 --> 00:24:52,278 So, you're, like, into, like, art and culture and stuff? 488 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:53,346 And stuff. 489 00:24:53,348 --> 00:24:56,150 Think we could go for a walk or something, man? 490 00:24:56,152 --> 00:24:57,550 I'm getting all twitchy. 491 00:24:57,552 --> 00:24:59,153 [SKATEBOARD ROLLING] 492 00:24:59,155 --> 00:25:01,989 Bro, I'm super into her. 493 00:25:01,991 --> 00:25:04,258 She's into art and books and shit. 494 00:25:04,260 --> 00:25:06,292 - She should date me, then. - Bingo, dude. 495 00:25:06,294 --> 00:25:08,962 I just have to look like I'm into art and culture. 496 00:25:08,964 --> 00:25:12,999 So, what if I get a smart, artsy dude to run my social media 497 00:25:13,001 --> 00:25:14,401 so it looks like I'm down with that shit? 498 00:25:14,403 --> 00:25:18,038 - You want me to be you online? - Yes, bro! 499 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,441 You blow her away with how dope "my" brain is, 500 00:25:20,443 --> 00:25:23,544 I swoop in IRL and seal the deal! 501 00:25:23,546 --> 00:25:26,279 All right? I mean, we both do what we're gifted at, all right? 502 00:25:26,281 --> 00:25:29,351 You got the brains, I got the endless charm. 503 00:25:33,055 --> 00:25:35,990 Dude, you've seen too many movies. 504 00:25:35,992 --> 00:25:38,592 IRL, this kind of thing never works out. 505 00:25:38,594 --> 00:25:42,028 [CELLPHONE CHIMES] 506 00:25:42,030 --> 00:25:44,565 - What's this? - My offer. 507 00:25:44,567 --> 00:25:47,067 Why are there so many zeros? 508 00:25:47,069 --> 00:25:49,068 What can I say, bro? 509 00:25:49,070 --> 00:25:51,672 You know what's out there. Sheer lameness. 510 00:25:51,674 --> 00:25:54,208 Right? They want more. 511 00:25:54,210 --> 00:25:56,576 They're diggin' my hiya. 512 00:25:56,578 --> 00:25:59,480 Wat-sa! Ooh-hoo-hoo! 513 00:25:59,482 --> 00:26:01,080 You weren't ready for that, were you? 514 00:26:01,082 --> 00:26:03,118 Jesus. Fuck. 515 00:26:04,552 --> 00:26:05,786 Whatever, bro. 516 00:26:05,788 --> 00:26:08,622 Let me know if you change your mind. 517 00:26:08,624 --> 00:26:11,027 [SKATEBOARD CLATTERING] 518 00:26:13,628 --> 00:26:16,329 [LAUGHING] Dude. 519 00:26:16,331 --> 00:26:18,233 Shit! 520 00:26:20,502 --> 00:26:23,005 [KEYBOARD CLACKING] 521 00:26:24,706 --> 00:26:27,242 [WHOOSHING] 522 00:26:29,645 --> 00:26:32,613 [CASH REGISTER WHIRRING] 523 00:26:32,615 --> 00:26:34,681 - [DING!] - Oh. 524 00:26:34,683 --> 00:26:38,117 [DOORBELL RINGS] 525 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:40,686 Say hello to your new digital self. 526 00:26:40,688 --> 00:26:43,624 So, we're gonna do this social platform by social platform. 527 00:26:43,626 --> 00:26:47,326 By the time we're done, Roxy is gonna be all over you. 528 00:26:47,328 --> 00:26:49,395 - Hoo-Hoo! Make my nerdy, Daddy. - All right. 529 00:26:49,397 --> 00:26:52,132 So, first, we're gonna have you follow people 530 00:26:52,134 --> 00:26:53,599 who make you look smart. 531 00:26:53,601 --> 00:26:55,169 Who do you follow right now? 532 00:26:55,171 --> 00:26:57,438 Rob Gronkowski, Kanye, 533 00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,240 Bruce Lee, for obvious reasons. 534 00:27:00,242 --> 00:27:02,409 Wat-sa! [CHUCKLES] 535 00:27:02,411 --> 00:27:05,345 Um, my bros and my little sister. 536 00:27:05,347 --> 00:27:07,448 She's super woke for being 6, bro. 537 00:27:07,450 --> 00:27:10,550 Okay, from now on, we'll have you follow 538 00:27:10,552 --> 00:27:13,820 scientists like Neil deGrasse Tyson, 539 00:27:13,822 --> 00:27:16,423 Stephen Hawking, Jane Goodall, 540 00:27:16,425 --> 00:27:20,426 philosophers and activists like Cornel West, Slavoj Zizek, 541 00:27:20,428 --> 00:27:24,163 and, um, Lena Dunham for some third-wave feminism. 542 00:27:24,165 --> 00:27:25,566 - Ugh! - I'm sorry. 543 00:27:25,568 --> 00:27:27,835 You'll also be following celebrated writers 544 00:27:27,837 --> 00:27:30,336 like Joan Didion, Roxane Gay. 545 00:27:30,338 --> 00:27:32,506 [LAUGHS] You said "Gay," bro. 546 00:27:32,508 --> 00:27:34,610 [LAUGHS] Ooh! 547 00:27:36,479 --> 00:27:38,612 Oh. 548 00:27:38,614 --> 00:27:41,882 "The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding." 549 00:27:41,884 --> 00:27:44,117 Leonardo da Vinci. 550 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:45,384 Damn, bro. 551 00:27:45,386 --> 00:27:48,689 And that's why I won the Oscar. 552 00:27:48,691 --> 00:27:51,422 All right, let's post a pic of you at an exhibit 553 00:27:51,424 --> 00:27:52,558 - at an art museum, all right? - Let's do it, bro. 554 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:55,328 You're high-tech, brah. [GRUNTS] 555 00:27:55,330 --> 00:27:58,464 Hey, that Vietnam thing I did... I actually did that, so... 556 00:27:58,466 --> 00:28:01,103 - Smile. - Okay. [CLEARS THROAT] 557 00:28:02,338 --> 00:28:04,438 How's the bicep, bro? 558 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:06,507 Shadows? 559 00:28:06,509 --> 00:28:08,342 - Huh? - Mm-hmm. 560 00:28:08,344 --> 00:28:12,346 All right, now let's put you in the Louvre. 561 00:28:12,348 --> 00:28:13,680 - Okay. - Looking at art. 562 00:28:13,682 --> 00:28:15,548 Looking at the "Mona Lisa." 563 00:28:15,550 --> 00:28:17,217 Ah! Check it out! 564 00:28:17,219 --> 00:28:19,286 You're in the Uffizi Gallerie now. 565 00:28:19,288 --> 00:28:21,454 Yep, that's a real Uffizi face. 566 00:28:21,456 --> 00:28:24,525 All right, let me see, dude. 567 00:28:24,527 --> 00:28:27,161 No, no, no, no. Dude, we gotta do these again. 568 00:28:27,163 --> 00:28:29,829 Look at my chin. Higher angles. 569 00:28:29,831 --> 00:28:31,365 Okay, all right. Okay. All right. 570 00:28:31,367 --> 00:28:32,900 - All right. All right. - All right, all right. 571 00:28:32,902 --> 00:28:35,501 All right. 572 00:28:35,503 --> 00:28:37,738 [CELLPHONE VIBRATING AND MAKING KARATE SOUNDS] 573 00:28:37,740 --> 00:28:40,440 - Do you need to get that? - Yeah, dude, hold on. Sorry. 574 00:28:40,442 --> 00:28:42,942 Ugh. 575 00:28:42,944 --> 00:28:44,944 - Yo! - Bro. 576 00:28:44,946 --> 00:28:47,247 What about "TTYL" do you not get? 577 00:28:47,249 --> 00:28:48,515 I just though we could go to the beach, 578 00:28:48,517 --> 00:28:50,784 get some savage shots of us surfing! 579 00:28:50,786 --> 00:28:52,251 Smack the lip. Wa-pah! 580 00:28:52,253 --> 00:28:54,288 Dude, I can't be myself anymore, all right? 581 00:28:54,290 --> 00:28:56,522 I told you... I'm gotta be a kook now. 582 00:28:56,524 --> 00:28:57,891 Yeah, but I just thought that we... 583 00:28:57,893 --> 00:28:59,358 Don't be thirsty! 584 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,194 All right? It looks bad. 585 00:29:01,196 --> 00:29:07,800 And I ran out of my deodorant, so can you get me my regular? 586 00:29:07,802 --> 00:29:10,403 Thanks, bro. 587 00:29:10,405 --> 00:29:13,240 Sorry, bro. Are we... are we good here? 588 00:29:13,242 --> 00:29:15,776 Yeah, so any time you're at a poetry reading 589 00:29:15,778 --> 00:29:18,811 or an art installation, just take a snap, 590 00:29:18,813 --> 00:29:20,413 and then talk about, like... 591 00:29:20,415 --> 00:29:21,949 Bro, that sounds like a lot of work. 592 00:29:21,951 --> 00:29:24,851 Well, I mean, you could just give me your password, 593 00:29:24,853 --> 00:29:26,586 and I can just go myself. 594 00:29:26,588 --> 00:29:28,888 So you can hack me and steal my identity? 595 00:29:28,890 --> 00:29:30,289 Like what you're paying me to do? 596 00:29:30,291 --> 00:29:32,759 - No, bro, not happening. - All right, fine. 597 00:29:32,761 --> 00:29:35,695 Run Snapchat yourself. Let's talk about Facebook. 598 00:29:35,697 --> 00:29:37,431 Ugh! 599 00:29:37,433 --> 00:29:40,636 [PLAYING DISCORDANT NOTES] 600 00:29:46,575 --> 00:29:49,742 All right, no, I can't... I can't go on. 601 00:29:49,744 --> 00:29:54,280 Chris Newton asked you to pretend to be him online, 602 00:29:54,282 --> 00:29:56,650 and you're just not concerned? 603 00:29:56,652 --> 00:29:58,551 Well, what should I be concerned about? 604 00:29:58,553 --> 00:30:00,721 How about he's secretly involved in a bet 605 00:30:00,723 --> 00:30:02,355 to see if he can make the nerdy kid popular? 606 00:30:02,357 --> 00:30:04,324 Like that would be the end of the world? 607 00:30:04,326 --> 00:30:06,460 I mean, it's gonna end with you onstage, 608 00:30:06,462 --> 00:30:08,028 covered in pig's blood, 609 00:30:08,030 --> 00:30:10,596 just without the telekinetic powers. 610 00:30:10,598 --> 00:30:13,634 Why am I the female character in this scenario? 611 00:30:13,636 --> 00:30:15,402 - I don't know. - Whatever. 612 00:30:15,404 --> 00:30:17,738 Practice, or else you're not gonna get in, 613 00:30:17,740 --> 00:30:20,007 and instead of Carnegie Hall, you'll be an old lady 614 00:30:20,009 --> 00:30:21,942 playing to a house full of cats. 615 00:30:21,944 --> 00:30:24,845 Thanks. That helps. 616 00:30:24,847 --> 00:30:26,980 I'm nervous! 617 00:30:26,982 --> 00:30:29,615 Look, you'll be fine. Don't worry. 618 00:30:29,617 --> 00:30:31,451 I'll be there. 619 00:30:31,453 --> 00:30:33,487 - Okay. - Also, like... 620 00:30:33,489 --> 00:30:35,454 do you really think that it's impossible 621 00:30:35,456 --> 00:30:36,757 that I may have some traits 622 00:30:36,759 --> 00:30:38,991 that people might be envious of? 623 00:30:38,993 --> 00:30:43,297 Yeah, some people. Sure. 624 00:30:43,299 --> 00:30:45,399 But Chris Newton? 625 00:30:45,401 --> 00:30:47,733 Why would Chris Newton want to seem more like you? 626 00:30:47,735 --> 00:30:51,337 Because it will help him get to Roxy faster, 627 00:30:51,339 --> 00:30:53,606 'cause apparently I'm just her type, 628 00:30:53,608 --> 00:30:56,777 except from my head, face, and body. 629 00:30:56,779 --> 00:31:00,314 Oh, okay, so you're catfishing the poor girl. 630 00:31:00,316 --> 00:31:01,815 Uh, no, I wouldn't call it that. 631 00:31:01,817 --> 00:31:03,583 Oh, really? I would call it that, 632 00:31:03,585 --> 00:31:05,051 'cause that's, like, exactly what you're doing. 633 00:31:05,053 --> 00:31:06,720 - What? No. - Okay, you know what? 634 00:31:06,722 --> 00:31:09,990 No, I'll put you in your misery 'cause you're suffering. 635 00:31:09,992 --> 00:31:12,392 [SQUEALS AND LAUGHS] 636 00:31:12,394 --> 00:31:14,060 [LAUGHS] No! Stop it. 637 00:31:14,062 --> 00:31:17,564 I'm a social media consultant It's what celebrities have. 638 00:31:17,566 --> 00:31:19,999 Chris is a YouTube celebrity. 639 00:31:20,001 --> 00:31:21,701 Okay, okay. 640 00:31:21,703 --> 00:31:26,006 So I'm a celebrity consultant online. 641 00:31:26,008 --> 00:31:27,710 Ah. 642 00:31:30,044 --> 00:31:31,944 Ugh. [GRUNTS] 643 00:31:31,946 --> 00:31:33,646 I'd love to keep wasting time 644 00:31:33,648 --> 00:31:35,715 discussing your bizarre personal problems, 645 00:31:35,717 --> 00:31:39,521 but it's eating into my silent disco break. 646 00:31:47,096 --> 00:31:49,829 It's not a silent disco if there's only one participant. 647 00:31:49,831 --> 00:31:51,733 Oh, sure. 648 00:32:03,378 --> 00:32:05,714 That's how you dance? 649 00:32:08,082 --> 00:32:09,583 [KNOCK AT DOOR] 650 00:32:09,585 --> 00:32:10,817 - Hi, sweetie. - Hey, sweetie, what you doing? 651 00:32:10,819 --> 00:32:14,587 - Nothing. - What you looking at? 652 00:32:14,589 --> 00:32:18,422 - Were you looking at porn? - What? No. 653 00:32:18,424 --> 00:32:18,759 You know, having a healthy sexual appetite 654 00:32:18,761 --> 00:32:20,594 is actually awesome. It's just, if you're gonna 655 00:32:20,596 --> 00:32:22,528 look at porn, you need to be aware of the exploitation. 656 00:32:22,530 --> 00:32:24,096 I'm gonna send you some ethical sites. 657 00:32:24,098 --> 00:32:26,599 - Okay, I'm looking at a girl. - Oh! 658 00:32:26,601 --> 00:32:28,101 - Jesus. - Oh, my gosh. 659 00:32:28,103 --> 00:32:29,736 She is just drop-dead hot. 660 00:32:29,738 --> 00:32:31,637 - That's really gross, Mom. - No, I'm just noticing. 661 00:32:31,639 --> 00:32:33,606 I mean, look at her. She's just beautiful. 662 00:32:33,608 --> 00:32:34,907 - Ugh. - She's so pretty. 663 00:32:34,909 --> 00:32:36,977 - You gonna ask her to prom? - No, I'm not. 664 00:32:36,979 --> 00:32:38,811 I'm not asking her to prom. 665 00:32:38,813 --> 00:32:41,914 No, she wouldn't go with me. Not with how I look. 666 00:32:41,916 --> 00:32:43,650 Honey, what are you talking about? 667 00:32:43,652 --> 00:32:46,153 - That's crazy. - How do we explain this to you? 668 00:32:46,155 --> 00:32:48,020 - You are perfect. - Absolutely perfect. 669 00:32:48,022 --> 00:32:50,856 Okay, look, I love you guys, but that's really hard 670 00:32:50,858 --> 00:32:52,659 to take to heart coming from my moms. 671 00:32:52,661 --> 00:32:55,028 You know what? For a kid who's raised by lesbians, 672 00:32:55,030 --> 00:32:57,631 you know startlingly little about women, okay? 673 00:32:57,633 --> 00:33:00,733 She's a person. She is a real, live person. 674 00:33:00,735 --> 00:33:02,536 Instead of just thinking what girls want, 675 00:33:02,538 --> 00:33:04,637 you know, you have to know what girls... blank. 676 00:33:04,639 --> 00:33:06,705 You have to learn about this woman. 677 00:33:06,707 --> 00:33:09,843 Can I have my room back now? 678 00:33:09,845 --> 00:33:11,778 - Yes. - Hmm. 679 00:33:11,780 --> 00:33:20,886 [♪♪] 680 00:33:20,888 --> 00:33:29,996 [♪♪] 681 00:33:29,998 --> 00:33:32,199 [CELLPHONE CHIMES] 682 00:33:32,201 --> 00:33:35,201 [♪♪] 683 00:33:35,203 --> 00:33:36,903 Stop! 684 00:33:36,905 --> 00:33:42,808 [♪♪] 685 00:33:42,810 --> 00:33:48,548 [♪♪] 686 00:33:48,550 --> 00:33:51,951 [ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING] 687 00:33:51,953 --> 00:33:55,821 Bro, this place smells like ass cheeks and Hot Cheetos. 688 00:33:55,823 --> 00:33:57,656 Well, Roxy loves this place. All right? 689 00:33:57,658 --> 00:33:58,959 So let's just get you on Snapchat 690 00:33:58,961 --> 00:34:01,161 saying something interesting about the DJ. 691 00:34:01,163 --> 00:34:02,962 All right. 692 00:34:02,964 --> 00:34:05,231 [♪♪] 693 00:34:05,233 --> 00:34:06,766 Yo, what up, Hiyas? 694 00:34:06,768 --> 00:34:08,234 We out here at some stanky-ass club listening to 695 00:34:08,236 --> 00:34:11,571 some skinny kids on laptops play some weird-ass beats! 696 00:34:11,573 --> 00:34:13,573 It's gonna be lit. 697 00:34:13,575 --> 00:34:16,243 Stop. Dude, I ran out of time. 698 00:34:16,245 --> 00:34:18,278 All right, now try talking about 699 00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:19,845 how the music makes you feel. 700 00:34:19,847 --> 00:34:21,982 Remember, this is not Coachella after dark. 701 00:34:21,984 --> 00:34:25,051 Bro, I can see that. [CLEARS THROAT] 702 00:34:25,053 --> 00:34:27,720 Yo, I just got to say, TBH! 703 00:34:27,722 --> 00:34:29,622 These beats is illin'! 704 00:34:29,624 --> 00:34:33,125 They got the potench to burn this club up! 705 00:34:33,127 --> 00:34:35,761 - Think that was it, dude. - Mnh-mnh. 706 00:34:35,763 --> 00:34:38,968 What? Bro, is how I feel not up to your standards? 707 00:34:40,702 --> 00:34:43,203 Okay, so the music that they're playing right now 708 00:34:43,205 --> 00:34:46,038 is like an intellectual take on electronic music. 709 00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,808 Every bros says that these beats are illin'. 710 00:34:48,810 --> 00:34:51,011 Try talking about, like, the instrumentation 711 00:34:51,013 --> 00:34:54,948 and the unique rhythms or how a hook, like, grabs you 712 00:34:54,950 --> 00:34:57,082 and triggers a long-lost memory, like, how that makes you feel. 713 00:34:57,084 --> 00:34:58,752 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool, cool, cool, cool. 714 00:34:58,754 --> 00:35:00,252 - Okay. - Yep. Got you. 715 00:35:00,254 --> 00:35:03,055 Yo, these legit-as-shit beats are making me think of 716 00:35:03,057 --> 00:35:05,191 this one time I was on Lake Michigan. 717 00:35:05,193 --> 00:35:06,859 I was 11 years old. 718 00:35:06,861 --> 00:35:08,962 I had just learned how to wakeboard. 719 00:35:08,964 --> 00:35:10,129 I was nervous. 720 00:35:10,131 --> 00:35:13,033 I wiped out so bad that I had to go to the E.R. by... 721 00:35:13,035 --> 00:35:14,767 You know what? Let's just get a pic of you 722 00:35:14,769 --> 00:35:17,937 and then call it a night 'cause this place fucking sucks. 723 00:35:17,939 --> 00:35:19,638 - Bro, bro. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 724 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,042 - How's the bicep, bro? - Uh, looking good. 725 00:35:22,044 --> 00:35:24,113 Hiya! [CELLPHONE CAMERA CLICKING] 726 00:35:26,113 --> 00:35:27,781 Okay. 727 00:35:27,783 --> 00:35:29,950 All right, one more. Nice. 728 00:35:29,952 --> 00:35:32,218 - What? - Oh, shit, bro. She's here. 729 00:35:32,220 --> 00:35:34,587 Get down. She's gonna see me. 730 00:35:34,589 --> 00:35:41,328 [♪♪] 731 00:35:41,330 --> 00:35:42,895 No, dude, stay down. 732 00:35:42,897 --> 00:35:44,798 She looks like a robot with epilepsy. 733 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,165 We're gonna have to hide out here 734 00:35:46,167 --> 00:35:47,334 till the end of the night, bro. 735 00:35:47,336 --> 00:35:48,935 Shouldn't you go talk to her, man? 736 00:35:48,937 --> 00:35:50,736 No, dude, I can't talk to her. Stay down, please? 737 00:35:50,738 --> 00:35:54,674 - That's why we came here. - I will hurt you. 738 00:35:54,676 --> 00:35:56,075 I mean, I won't hurt you. 739 00:35:56,077 --> 00:35:57,776 Listen, we gotta get out of here, bro. 740 00:35:57,778 --> 00:35:59,312 We have to escape. Put these on. 741 00:35:59,314 --> 00:36:01,080 What? Why is this... 742 00:36:01,082 --> 00:36:03,116 Dude, just shut up! Just shut up! 743 00:36:03,118 --> 00:36:05,819 Bro, you have two pairs of sunglasses? 744 00:36:05,821 --> 00:36:07,620 - Yeah, whatever. - Ugh. 745 00:36:07,622 --> 00:36:10,924 [♪♪] 746 00:36:10,926 --> 00:36:14,326 Let's go. Yeah. This way. This way. 747 00:36:14,328 --> 00:36:20,799 [♪♪] 748 00:36:20,801 --> 00:36:22,901 Go, go, go, go, go, go! 749 00:36:22,903 --> 00:36:24,703 Myself isn't good enough, bro. 750 00:36:24,705 --> 00:36:27,173 No, it totally is, man. 751 00:36:27,175 --> 00:36:29,075 You're handsome, you're cool, 752 00:36:29,077 --> 00:36:31,011 you're... you're fucking awesome. 753 00:36:31,013 --> 00:36:32,912 And, oh, my God. I should like my mom. 754 00:36:32,914 --> 00:36:35,247 She looks at me like a little turd, bro, 755 00:36:35,249 --> 00:36:36,415 You know what? 756 00:36:36,417 --> 00:36:38,283 Have you ever been to OG Gallery? 757 00:36:38,285 --> 00:36:39,919 It's a cool art gallery. 758 00:36:39,921 --> 00:36:42,721 And they've got a lot of, like, cool showings and stuff. 759 00:36:42,723 --> 00:36:44,658 And she has a lot of check-ins there. 760 00:36:44,660 --> 00:36:47,694 There's an opening tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure she'll go. 761 00:36:47,696 --> 00:36:49,395 - You know what, bro? - What? 762 00:36:49,397 --> 00:36:50,863 I'm gonna give you my password, 763 00:36:50,865 --> 00:36:53,799 - and you're gonna go for me. - What is it? 764 00:36:53,801 --> 00:36:56,903 - You're not gonna tell anybody? - I'm... no. 765 00:36:56,905 --> 00:36:59,104 Look at me in the eye, bro. 766 00:36:59,106 --> 00:37:02,875 - I'm never gonna tell anyone. - Okay. 767 00:37:02,877 --> 00:37:04,977 It's "chrisnewton." 768 00:37:04,979 --> 00:37:07,212 - Like, that's it? - Yeah, dude. 769 00:37:07,214 --> 00:37:08,714 Like, all lower case? 770 00:37:08,716 --> 00:37:09,982 "chrisnewton," lower case, that's it. 771 00:37:09,984 --> 00:37:12,151 - Any numbers? - No, bro, "chrisnewton." 772 00:37:12,153 --> 00:37:14,421 That's your password for which account? 773 00:37:14,423 --> 00:37:16,756 Shut up! [WATER BUBBLES] 774 00:37:16,758 --> 00:37:19,158 [LAUGHING] Oh, shit, bro! 775 00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:26,966 [♪♪] 776 00:37:26,968 --> 00:37:34,441 [♪♪] 777 00:37:34,443 --> 00:37:42,115 [♪♪] 778 00:37:42,117 --> 00:37:45,218 You can't put this artist's work into words. 779 00:37:45,220 --> 00:37:47,153 Oh, hey, Roxy. 780 00:37:47,155 --> 00:37:49,723 Were you at El Enfermo last night? 781 00:37:49,725 --> 00:37:52,060 No, never heard of it. 782 00:37:54,896 --> 00:37:58,064 There are some really cool pieces here. 783 00:37:58,066 --> 00:38:02,067 Yeah, I'm taking an art class at the community college, 784 00:38:02,069 --> 00:38:04,970 and my professor showed me this place. 785 00:38:04,972 --> 00:38:08,341 It's really cool, and they really focus on, 786 00:38:08,343 --> 00:38:11,944 like, up-and-coming artists. 787 00:38:11,946 --> 00:38:14,080 Honestly, I hang out here all the time 788 00:38:14,082 --> 00:38:17,953 because I'm hoping they'll show my art someday. 789 00:38:19,421 --> 00:38:21,120 Good strategy. 790 00:38:21,122 --> 00:38:25,225 [♪♪] 791 00:38:25,227 --> 00:38:27,029 Hmm. 792 00:38:28,497 --> 00:38:30,964 You know, my friend Chris Newton 793 00:38:30,966 --> 00:38:33,466 told me about this artist. 794 00:38:33,468 --> 00:38:35,033 Chris Newton? 795 00:38:35,035 --> 00:38:36,269 Yeah. 796 00:38:36,271 --> 00:38:38,971 "Hiya" Chris Newton knows what art is? 797 00:38:38,973 --> 00:38:41,975 He's actually kind of a Renaissance man. 798 00:38:41,977 --> 00:38:45,410 Oh, so he's just disguised as a douche? 799 00:38:45,412 --> 00:38:47,412 Yeah. No. 800 00:38:47,414 --> 00:38:48,982 Um... 801 00:38:48,984 --> 00:38:50,316 You know what? Here. 802 00:38:50,318 --> 00:38:52,252 You might want to just look at his online stuff. 803 00:38:52,254 --> 00:38:56,890 It gives you a way better idea of what he's like as a person. 804 00:38:56,892 --> 00:38:59,526 - Mm. - Honestly... 805 00:38:59,528 --> 00:39:01,528 - try and keep this on the DL. - Okay. 806 00:39:01,530 --> 00:39:06,435 He is painfully shy around intelligent, beautiful women. 807 00:39:06,935 --> 00:39:09,134 [LAUGHS] Get out of town. 808 00:39:09,136 --> 00:39:11,970 No, like, his brain, like, freezes up 809 00:39:11,972 --> 00:39:14,040 and then his mouth gets all dry. 810 00:39:14,042 --> 00:39:16,142 And then there's the Tourette's. 811 00:39:16,144 --> 00:39:18,511 Tourette's? He has Tourette's? 812 00:39:18,513 --> 00:39:20,446 - Mm-hmm. - Really? 813 00:39:20,448 --> 00:39:23,383 Yeah. 814 00:39:23,385 --> 00:39:25,218 I didn't know. 815 00:39:25,220 --> 00:39:27,886 I kind of feel like an asshole now. 816 00:39:27,888 --> 00:39:31,957 Well, I mean, you probably still have a chance. 817 00:39:31,959 --> 00:39:35,229 Try maybe speaking with him in person. 818 00:39:40,100 --> 00:39:42,134 Uh... 819 00:39:42,136 --> 00:39:43,303 See you, Cy. 820 00:39:43,305 --> 00:39:45,140 Bye. 821 00:39:47,609 --> 00:39:49,812 Ugh. 822 00:39:53,981 --> 00:39:55,848 Bro! She did it. 823 00:39:55,850 --> 00:39:57,549 Roxy... she followed me on Picto-Stache, 824 00:39:57,551 --> 00:39:59,319 and she double clicked your boy! 825 00:39:59,321 --> 00:40:01,220 - Okay, okay, calm down. - Maybe I should like 826 00:40:01,222 --> 00:40:02,855 a few of her posts right now, just so she knows 827 00:40:02,857 --> 00:40:04,256 - that I saw it, right? - No, no, no, no. 828 00:40:04,258 --> 00:40:06,058 - We don't want to seem thirsty. - What the shit, bro? 829 00:40:06,060 --> 00:40:07,926 - Give me my phone back. - It's my phone, dude. 830 00:40:07,928 --> 00:40:09,229 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - I gotta let her know 831 00:40:09,231 --> 00:40:11,064 that I saw it, bro. I gotta... 832 00:40:11,066 --> 00:40:13,899 - Shit, dog. - What? 833 00:40:13,901 --> 00:40:15,167 Oh, shoot, oh, shoot. 834 00:40:15,169 --> 00:40:16,368 I think she's FaceTiming me, bro. 835 00:40:16,370 --> 00:40:19,638 - Why is she FaceTiming me? - Dude, answer it. 836 00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:21,207 Okay, every time she asks you a question, 837 00:40:21,209 --> 00:40:22,941 just freeze like there's bad Wi-Fi, 838 00:40:22,943 --> 00:40:25,578 - and I'll feed you lines, okay? - Bro, that's your genius plan? 839 00:40:25,580 --> 00:40:27,080 Oh, I'm sorry. Hold on. 840 00:40:27,082 --> 00:40:28,647 Let me just come up with like 12 more ideas 841 00:40:28,649 --> 00:40:31,283 so we can focus-group them and figure out which one is best. 842 00:40:31,285 --> 00:40:34,419 Okay. Okay. Okay. [CELLPHONE BEEPS] 843 00:40:34,421 --> 00:40:35,622 Sup? 844 00:40:35,624 --> 00:40:39,091 Hi, Chris. How goes it? 845 00:40:39,093 --> 00:40:43,095 Oh, it's going. How's it going? It's going. 846 00:40:43,097 --> 00:40:45,999 Are you... did you... I think you're frozen. 847 00:40:46,001 --> 00:40:47,566 Say there's bad Wi-Fi. It's worse than the time 848 00:40:47,568 --> 00:40:49,968 you were in Vietnam building houses for poor people. 849 00:40:49,970 --> 00:40:52,537 - Actually, I can't... - Sorry, this Wi-Fi sucks. 850 00:40:52,539 --> 00:40:55,642 I mean, it's almost as bad as when I was in Vietnam 851 00:40:55,644 --> 00:40:57,977 building houses for poor people. 852 00:40:57,979 --> 00:40:59,578 Oh, you were... you were in Vietnam? 853 00:40:59,580 --> 00:41:02,115 You were building houses for poor people? 854 00:41:02,117 --> 00:41:04,651 Yeah, it's badass. 855 00:41:04,653 --> 00:41:06,986 - Uh, what are you doing? - What am I doing? 856 00:41:06,988 --> 00:41:11,424 I, uh... I'm just chillin. You look really hot. 857 00:41:11,426 --> 00:41:15,294 - What. I look hot? - Tell her her face is so hot 858 00:41:15,296 --> 00:41:18,196 that... that... that it melts even the coldest night 859 00:41:18,198 --> 00:41:19,933 because of the radiance of its glow. 860 00:41:19,935 --> 00:41:21,301 Are you... you're frozen again. 861 00:41:21,303 --> 00:41:24,002 I meant to say that's your your face is so hot 862 00:41:24,004 --> 00:41:25,270 it can melt the coldest of nights 863 00:41:25,272 --> 00:41:27,105 - with the radiance of its glow. - Mm. 864 00:41:27,107 --> 00:41:29,207 You're a bit of a charmer, aren't you? 865 00:41:29,209 --> 00:41:32,312 Oh, well, what can I say? You must bring it out in me. 866 00:41:32,314 --> 00:41:36,417 Well, should we see if you can be this charming in person? 867 00:41:39,421 --> 00:41:42,488 Yeah, sure, yeah, I'll pick you up soon. 868 00:41:42,490 --> 00:41:45,424 Yeah? Okay. All right, see you tonight. 869 00:41:45,426 --> 00:41:47,160 Bye. 870 00:41:47,162 --> 00:41:49,294 [CELLPHONE BEEPS] 871 00:41:49,296 --> 00:41:53,098 Oh, my God, dude! We did it! 872 00:41:53,100 --> 00:41:54,334 - What?! - No, no, no, no. 873 00:41:54,336 --> 00:41:56,102 Dude, what's wrong with you, man? 874 00:41:56,104 --> 00:41:58,437 We just got you a date. You should be ecstatic! 875 00:41:58,439 --> 00:42:00,305 Bro, I don't know what I'm gonna say! 876 00:42:00,307 --> 00:42:04,176 I'm gonna be there by myself. Oh! 877 00:42:04,178 --> 00:42:07,714 - Shit, shit, shit. - Oh! I'm not ready. 878 00:42:07,716 --> 00:42:09,549 - Oh, shit. - Ohhhhhh! 879 00:42:09,551 --> 00:42:11,316 Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. Look, look, look. 880 00:42:11,318 --> 00:42:12,685 Look what I have. Look what I have. 881 00:42:12,687 --> 00:42:15,620 - Dude, dude, look! - What, bro? 882 00:42:15,622 --> 00:42:19,058 It's a Bluetooth! We can talk on the Bluetooth! 883 00:42:19,060 --> 00:42:21,593 - Ohh! Secret agents, bro! - Yeah! 884 00:42:21,595 --> 00:42:24,564 Hell yeah, you fucking nerd! 885 00:42:24,566 --> 00:42:26,401 Check this out. 886 00:42:28,435 --> 00:42:30,569 Whoa! 887 00:42:30,571 --> 00:42:32,437 Just like that. 888 00:42:32,439 --> 00:42:34,607 You just happen to have a fake cast? 889 00:42:34,609 --> 00:42:36,475 Bro, chicks love it. 890 00:42:36,477 --> 00:42:38,678 [SCOFFS] You're certifiable, man. 891 00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:42,250 Huh. Thanks, dude. You, too. 892 00:42:44,586 --> 00:42:47,153 [BLOWS RASPBERRY] 893 00:42:47,155 --> 00:42:48,620 How did you break your arm? 894 00:42:48,622 --> 00:42:51,457 Oh, I was skateboarding. 895 00:42:51,459 --> 00:42:53,058 - I'm so sorry. - That's okay. 896 00:42:53,060 --> 00:42:54,359 It's just super tender right now. 897 00:42:54,361 --> 00:42:56,129 - Unbelievable. - Well, at least you got 898 00:42:56,131 --> 00:42:57,397 - a lot of signatures. - Yeah. 899 00:42:57,399 --> 00:42:59,799 - ...quickly. - I'm a pretty popular dude. 900 00:42:59,801 --> 00:43:01,700 Okay, so her shirt looks like it could have been 901 00:43:01,702 --> 00:43:04,504 made by this Japanese artist who's obsessed with polka dots. 902 00:43:04,506 --> 00:43:06,238 Her name is Yayoi Kusama. 903 00:43:06,240 --> 00:43:08,241 Your shirt is great. 904 00:43:08,243 --> 00:43:10,642 - Yay-Yay Kusumi, right? - Uh, Kusama. I... yeah. 905 00:43:10,644 --> 00:43:11,810 - I love her. - Kusama. 906 00:43:11,812 --> 00:43:13,312 - Yeah. - Me too. 907 00:43:13,314 --> 00:43:15,048 Oh, did you see her exhibit at the Broad? 908 00:43:15,050 --> 00:43:16,348 - Yeah. - Yeah? 909 00:43:16,350 --> 00:43:17,649 Well, actually I caught it on YouTube. 910 00:43:17,651 --> 00:43:21,490 - No, you didn't. - [WHISPERING] Yes, I did. 911 00:43:22,356 --> 00:43:25,259 [NORMAL VOICE] So while it still resonates today... 912 00:43:26,461 --> 00:43:30,296 its tropes feel dated from when Kerouac wrote it. 913 00:43:30,298 --> 00:43:33,131 Well, I still kind of love it. 914 00:43:33,133 --> 00:43:35,567 I find it sexy and romantic. 915 00:43:35,569 --> 00:43:41,506 Yeah, imagine how zietgeisty it felt reading it back in 1957. 916 00:43:41,508 --> 00:43:45,812 Imagine how zietgeisty it felt reading it back in 1957. 917 00:43:45,814 --> 00:43:48,848 Hmm. I can't imagine. 918 00:43:48,850 --> 00:43:51,417 Are you... are you more of Dean or a Sal? 919 00:43:51,419 --> 00:43:54,287 Well, Marylou, what do you think? 920 00:43:54,289 --> 00:43:58,723 Well, Marylou, what do you think? 921 00:43:58,725 --> 00:44:01,296 [BOTH LAUGH] 922 00:44:02,397 --> 00:44:04,162 Tell her she has the kind of beauty 923 00:44:04,164 --> 00:44:06,531 that inspires great works of art to be made. 924 00:44:06,533 --> 00:44:07,500 Hey. 925 00:44:07,502 --> 00:44:12,171 Your beauty just inspires great works of... 926 00:44:12,173 --> 00:44:13,506 [STATIC] Ah, shi... 927 00:44:13,508 --> 00:44:15,174 Wait. Hey, wait a second, You can't do that. 928 00:44:15,176 --> 00:44:16,709 That's my phone. Hey, give it back! 929 00:44:16,711 --> 00:44:18,678 What are you doing?! Hey, wait, wait, wait. 930 00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:20,212 - Um, yeah. - Are you okay? 931 00:44:20,214 --> 00:44:22,348 Yeah, yeah. It's just, like, a sudden pain. 932 00:44:22,350 --> 00:44:25,785 But what were we saying? What was I saying? 933 00:44:25,787 --> 00:44:29,154 - Um... - You're beautiful. 934 00:44:29,156 --> 00:44:31,890 - [LAUGHS] - And art's beautiful. 935 00:44:31,892 --> 00:44:35,261 So you're beautiful art. 936 00:44:35,263 --> 00:44:38,163 - [CHUCKLES] - [LAUGHING] Thank you. 937 00:44:38,165 --> 00:44:41,669 - Wait. - [CLEARS THROAT] 938 00:44:45,439 --> 00:44:48,640 - Are you feeling better? - Yeah. 939 00:44:48,642 --> 00:44:51,511 [CLEARS THROAT] 940 00:44:51,513 --> 00:44:54,249 [CHUCKLES] 941 00:44:55,482 --> 00:44:58,750 - You have a... - What are you doing? 942 00:44:58,752 --> 00:45:01,888 I'm, um... I'm... I can palm read. 943 00:45:01,890 --> 00:45:03,321 - Oh. Oh. - Yeah. 944 00:45:03,323 --> 00:45:06,660 Check this out. You, um... 945 00:45:09,464 --> 00:45:11,930 You've experienced some loss. 946 00:45:11,932 --> 00:45:14,834 Mm. Haven't we all? 947 00:45:14,836 --> 00:45:16,836 Um... 948 00:45:16,838 --> 00:45:21,506 Oh, it was your dad? 949 00:45:21,508 --> 00:45:25,477 Um, you have a very strong lifeline. 950 00:45:25,479 --> 00:45:26,511 Mm. 951 00:45:26,513 --> 00:45:28,781 And, uh, your love line... 952 00:45:28,783 --> 00:45:33,586 you need a guy who, like... gets the whole you. 953 00:45:33,588 --> 00:45:34,787 Mm. 954 00:45:34,789 --> 00:45:37,256 It's a very cute party trick. 955 00:45:37,258 --> 00:45:38,924 - It's good, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 956 00:45:38,926 --> 00:45:40,526 It's all right. 957 00:45:40,528 --> 00:45:43,328 [LAUGHING] What are you... 958 00:45:43,330 --> 00:45:44,930 This is another part of it. 959 00:45:44,932 --> 00:45:48,267 Okay. Okay, my turn. 960 00:45:48,269 --> 00:45:49,634 I'm gonna ask you some questions. 961 00:45:49,636 --> 00:45:52,404 Seriously, do you... 962 00:45:52,406 --> 00:45:53,772 Oh, this is gonna sound mean. 963 00:45:53,774 --> 00:45:56,375 Do you ever feel schizophrenic, 964 00:45:56,377 --> 00:45:59,377 like stuck between your douchebag school persona 965 00:45:59,379 --> 00:46:03,515 and the, like, cultured real you? 966 00:46:03,517 --> 00:46:06,819 You know, you just... you got to go with the flow, right? 967 00:46:06,821 --> 00:46:10,455 [CHUCKLES] If you don't break you'll bend. 968 00:46:10,457 --> 00:46:13,459 You can't make a horse drink water, right? 969 00:46:13,461 --> 00:46:16,529 Um, sorry. I'm just really curious. 970 00:46:16,531 --> 00:46:19,298 Do you... do you feel a need to, like, be seen 971 00:46:19,300 --> 00:46:21,566 by a lot of people to be validated, 972 00:46:21,568 --> 00:46:24,537 like that's why you do your videos and stuff? 973 00:46:24,539 --> 00:46:27,406 'Cause you seem like you're actually really sensitive. 974 00:46:27,408 --> 00:46:28,975 You're saying I'm sensitive. 975 00:46:28,977 --> 00:46:31,776 Oh, no, no, no. I meant that... I meant that as a good thing. 976 00:46:31,778 --> 00:46:35,448 I... I've won Homecoming King three times in a row. 977 00:46:35,450 --> 00:46:37,683 The third time I was disqualified for being wasted. 978 00:46:37,685 --> 00:46:42,254 I have 347,000 followers who watch every dope thing I do. 979 00:46:42,256 --> 00:46:43,488 I'm savage, okay? 980 00:46:43,490 --> 00:46:45,524 I'm not some sensitive chick, who... 981 00:46:45,526 --> 00:46:46,758 No, no, no, okay. Yeah I get it. 982 00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:49,462 Yeah, it was meant to be a compliment. 983 00:46:49,464 --> 00:46:52,665 - What? Sensitive? - Yeah. 984 00:46:52,667 --> 00:46:54,000 I'm not gonna be some sensitive... 985 00:46:54,002 --> 00:46:55,801 [VELCRO RIPPING] 986 00:46:55,803 --> 00:46:57,303 [CLEARS THROAT] 987 00:46:57,305 --> 00:47:00,506 That just... 988 00:47:00,508 --> 00:47:02,008 Dude! 989 00:47:02,010 --> 00:47:03,609 - I can explain. - You're a dick. 990 00:47:03,611 --> 00:47:04,944 - No. - I cannot believe that 991 00:47:04,946 --> 00:47:06,511 I actually felt sorry for you, 992 00:47:06,513 --> 00:47:08,613 Like, I felt sorry for your fake broken arm 993 00:47:08,615 --> 00:47:10,582 and your stupid skateboarding accident. 994 00:47:10,584 --> 00:47:13,352 - My body has Tourette's, too. - Your body has Tourette's? 995 00:47:13,354 --> 00:47:15,020 Yeah, that's a thing. Yeah. 996 00:47:15,022 --> 00:47:17,723 Wow! I... 997 00:47:17,725 --> 00:47:19,725 I can't believe that I thought I could have a real conversation 998 00:47:19,727 --> 00:47:22,461 with someone who karate chops innocent people all day. 999 00:47:22,463 --> 00:47:24,529 - That was stupid - I'm changing my channel, okay? 1000 00:47:24,531 --> 00:47:26,064 It's gonna be life-changing life acts from now on, 1001 00:47:26,066 --> 00:47:28,533 and I'm gonna be doing stuff for, like, cologne for guys 1002 00:47:28,535 --> 00:47:30,035 and how to get ripped abs, shit like that. 1003 00:47:30,037 --> 00:47:32,404 Oh, that's brilliant. You should... that's brilliant. 1004 00:47:32,406 --> 00:47:34,506 Where are you going? Roxy, wait, Roxy! 1005 00:47:34,508 --> 00:47:38,412 Yo, seriously, like, leave me alone, okay? 1006 00:47:39,847 --> 00:47:41,816 [BELL DINGS] 1007 00:47:43,350 --> 00:47:46,951 Good morning, LCH High! 1008 00:47:46,953 --> 00:47:49,488 It's six days until senior prom. 1009 00:47:49,490 --> 00:47:51,357 Have you found your better half yet? 1010 00:47:51,359 --> 00:47:55,394 If not, remember, you only get one or two proms a lifetime. 1011 00:47:55,396 --> 00:47:56,662 Hey, Kat, what about you? 1012 00:47:56,664 --> 00:47:59,631 Have you found your special someone? 1013 00:47:59,633 --> 00:48:02,734 Oh, well, prom's an archaic heteronormative perpetuating 1014 00:48:02,736 --> 00:48:06,404 sexist mating ritual that's outlasted its necessity. 1015 00:48:06,406 --> 00:48:09,808 It's patriarchal and quasi-fascist. 1016 00:48:09,810 --> 00:48:12,646 Well, it makes great content. Keep it up. 1017 00:48:13,981 --> 00:48:15,915 Where did you hear that from? 1018 00:48:15,917 --> 00:48:18,417 Yo mama! 1019 00:48:18,419 --> 00:48:20,419 No, seriously, Sarah's been giving me some, 1020 00:48:20,421 --> 00:48:22,087 like, really engaging books to read. 1021 00:48:22,089 --> 00:48:24,756 - Psst! Cy! - Fuck. 1022 00:48:24,758 --> 00:48:26,558 - Gotta deal with Chris. - Cy! 1023 00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:29,095 - Yeah, I'm coming. I'm coming. - Okay. 1024 00:48:29,097 --> 00:48:30,495 I need to talk to you. 1025 00:48:30,497 --> 00:48:31,830 I'm really sorry about last night. 1026 00:48:31,832 --> 00:48:33,698 However, I think we've set you up good. 1027 00:48:33,700 --> 00:48:36,134 Just a little more effort, we can finish strong, no problem. 1028 00:48:36,136 --> 00:48:38,837 No, I screwed up pretty bad, man. What are we gonna do? 1029 00:48:38,839 --> 00:48:42,140 We? Uh, I got her to go on a date with you. 1030 00:48:42,142 --> 00:48:44,542 - That was the deal. - Seriously, bro? 1031 00:48:44,544 --> 00:48:46,611 Dude, that date was the ultimate fail, man. 1032 00:48:46,613 --> 00:48:48,747 Don't you give up on me, bro. 1033 00:48:48,749 --> 00:48:51,049 I at least want her to go to prom with me, all right? 1034 00:48:51,051 --> 00:48:52,685 - Help. - I don't know. 1035 00:48:52,687 --> 00:48:55,388 - A week isn't enough time. - I will double your money. 1036 00:48:55,390 --> 00:48:56,888 Double. 1037 00:48:56,890 --> 00:49:00,593 So, if I get her to go to prom with you, we're square? 1038 00:49:00,595 --> 00:49:02,995 We're square, dude, but we're better than square. 1039 00:49:02,997 --> 00:49:04,596 We're, like... we're rectangle, 1040 00:49:04,598 --> 00:49:06,799 whatever shape is the dankest, bro! 1041 00:49:06,801 --> 00:49:08,968 But don't... you can't bribe her, okay? 1042 00:49:08,970 --> 00:49:11,002 - I won't. - Deal? 1043 00:49:11,004 --> 00:49:14,406 That's a deal. [LAUGHS] 1044 00:49:14,408 --> 00:49:16,508 Dude, your hands are soft, bro. 1045 00:49:16,510 --> 00:49:18,009 - Dude, stop, man. - Nice. 1046 00:49:18,011 --> 00:49:19,477 I've got class. 1047 00:49:19,479 --> 00:49:22,615 "When I'm with you, 1048 00:49:22,617 --> 00:49:27,819 I feel like I'm evaporating. 1049 00:49:27,821 --> 00:49:30,756 You're so beautiful. 1050 00:49:30,758 --> 00:49:33,591 I am diminishing 1051 00:49:33,593 --> 00:49:38,029 like I'm nothing in your presence. 1052 00:49:38,031 --> 00:49:42,767 There aren't many things in this world that are that perfect. 1053 00:49:42,769 --> 00:49:49,774 Your perfection magnifies my flaws. 1054 00:49:49,776 --> 00:49:54,546 I hope you accept this sincere apology 1055 00:49:54,548 --> 00:49:58,584 for my ludicrous, inappropriate behavior. 1056 00:49:58,586 --> 00:50:01,486 Please give me another chance to prove myself 1057 00:50:01,488 --> 00:50:03,622 worthy of your affections. 1058 00:50:03,624 --> 00:50:06,792 Forever yours, Cy." 1059 00:50:06,794 --> 00:50:08,761 [TEXT MESSAGE WHOOSHES] 1060 00:50:08,763 --> 00:50:10,832 [EXHALES] 1061 00:50:12,466 --> 00:50:16,801 I meant Chris. 1062 00:50:16,803 --> 00:50:18,504 [♪♪] 1063 00:50:18,506 --> 00:50:21,740 Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! 1064 00:50:21,742 --> 00:50:23,075 Fuck! 1065 00:50:23,077 --> 00:50:26,111 [♪♪] 1066 00:50:26,113 --> 00:50:27,946 Agh! 1067 00:50:27,948 --> 00:50:30,549 [♪♪] 1068 00:50:30,551 --> 00:50:33,118 [ROCKS PLINKING] 1069 00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:34,989 Roxy! 1070 00:50:39,961 --> 00:50:41,560 What are you doing? 1071 00:50:41,562 --> 00:50:43,995 Oh, th-they're just pebbles. 1072 00:50:43,997 --> 00:50:46,131 Well, first of all, that's the wrong window. 1073 00:50:46,133 --> 00:50:48,834 And who throws pebbles anymore? 1074 00:50:48,836 --> 00:50:50,703 [BOTH LAUGH] 1075 00:50:50,705 --> 00:50:53,071 Seriously, off my fucking property. 1076 00:50:53,073 --> 00:50:55,140 [LAUGHS] 1077 00:50:55,142 --> 00:50:57,609 Want to come in? 1078 00:50:57,611 --> 00:51:00,647 Come on. Just climb through the window, yeah? 1079 00:51:02,115 --> 00:51:03,281 [GRUNTS] 1080 00:51:03,283 --> 00:51:05,250 Oh, you got it? 1081 00:51:05,252 --> 00:51:07,051 Yeah, I got it. 1082 00:51:07,053 --> 00:51:09,087 That's graceful. 1083 00:51:09,089 --> 00:51:10,855 [WHISPERING] Sorry to pop up like that, 1084 00:51:10,857 --> 00:51:13,725 but it's kind of an emergency. 1085 00:51:13,727 --> 00:51:15,127 [WHISPERING] Why are you whispering? 1086 00:51:15,129 --> 00:51:17,830 Oh, your parents. 1087 00:51:17,832 --> 00:51:19,999 [NORMAL VOICE] Oh, my mom's at a fundraiser 1088 00:51:20,001 --> 00:51:21,933 for saving rhinoceroses. 1089 00:51:21,935 --> 00:51:24,169 [NORMAL VOICE] Oh. Also, wait. 1090 00:51:24,171 --> 00:51:26,138 Isn't it "rhinoceri"? 1091 00:51:26,140 --> 00:51:29,073 You're not... I... 1092 00:51:29,075 --> 00:51:30,276 What's your emergency? 1093 00:51:30,278 --> 00:51:33,712 Oh, I came to talk to you about... 1094 00:51:33,714 --> 00:51:38,883 for, uh, about... giving Chris another chance. 1095 00:51:38,885 --> 00:51:40,653 Ooh! Out, out the way you came in. 1096 00:51:40,655 --> 00:51:42,620 Hey, wait, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1097 00:51:42,622 --> 00:51:44,756 He feels terrible, okay? 1098 00:51:44,758 --> 00:51:47,593 He was... he was super, super nervous, all right? 1099 00:51:47,595 --> 00:51:50,629 He would do anything to make it up to you. 1100 00:51:50,631 --> 00:51:51,964 He wore a fake cast. 1101 00:51:51,966 --> 00:51:54,767 Like, he's a liar and probably a sociopath. 1102 00:51:54,769 --> 00:51:56,734 Yeah, but kind of a hot sociopath. 1103 00:51:56,736 --> 00:51:59,772 Oh. Why don't you date him? 1104 00:51:59,774 --> 00:52:01,339 Okay, wait. When you think of it like this, 1105 00:52:01,341 --> 00:52:03,341 it's actually kind of brilliant, what he did. 1106 00:52:03,343 --> 00:52:07,745 He designed an elaborate, 1107 00:52:07,747 --> 00:52:12,850 sympathy-inducing contraption, all because he was afraid 1108 00:52:12,852 --> 00:52:16,721 that just him on his own wasn't enough. 1109 00:52:16,723 --> 00:52:20,562 Really, it's sadly admirable. 1110 00:52:22,363 --> 00:52:24,062 I don't even know what to say to him. 1111 00:52:24,064 --> 00:52:25,763 Oh, just give me your phone, I'll just text him for you. 1112 00:52:25,765 --> 00:52:27,700 Nope. Actually... 1113 00:52:27,702 --> 00:52:29,602 I have a project. 1114 00:52:29,604 --> 00:52:31,035 Be my assistant? 1115 00:52:31,037 --> 00:52:32,870 Sorry if I interrupted your night. 1116 00:52:32,872 --> 00:52:35,841 Nope, I was just ordering leather to make leather pants. 1117 00:52:35,843 --> 00:52:38,910 I have no idea how you, like, survive in that stuff. 1118 00:52:38,912 --> 00:52:41,145 I don't know. It's pretty comfortable. 1119 00:52:41,147 --> 00:52:43,381 - Oh, shit, shit! - What? 1120 00:52:43,383 --> 00:52:44,917 I need to, um... 1121 00:52:44,919 --> 00:52:46,951 Sorry. I need to borrow your phone. 1122 00:52:46,953 --> 00:52:49,053 - And I have to text my moms. - Oh. 1123 00:52:49,055 --> 00:52:51,924 They freak out if they don't know exactly, like, 1124 00:52:51,926 --> 00:52:54,892 everything about where and when I'm at. 1125 00:52:54,894 --> 00:52:57,196 Yeah, parents are... parents are terrible. 1126 00:52:57,198 --> 00:53:01,834 Yeah, and I'm just a little too lazy to go back inside... 1127 00:53:01,836 --> 00:53:04,205 - Right. - ...to get my phone. 1128 00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:07,705 All right. 1129 00:53:07,707 --> 00:53:08,941 What are you doing? 1130 00:53:08,943 --> 00:53:12,778 - Sorry. Bad Wi-Fi. - Okay. 1131 00:53:12,780 --> 00:53:14,113 - Dude, are you in my photos? - No, I'm not. 1132 00:53:14,115 --> 00:53:15,913 There's nothing in there, like... 1133 00:53:15,915 --> 00:53:17,982 I know, I know, I know. Just... 1134 00:53:17,984 --> 00:53:19,384 I don't have nudes. I don't do that. 1135 00:53:19,386 --> 00:53:22,955 Ahhh. 1136 00:53:22,957 --> 00:53:24,790 - Okay, all right. - You did it? 1137 00:53:24,792 --> 00:53:27,158 - I'm good. Here. - Thank you. 1138 00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:29,662 Yeah, just feel like a weight's been lifted off your shoulders? 1139 00:53:29,664 --> 00:53:31,397 - You have no idea. - Yeah. Here. 1140 00:53:31,399 --> 00:53:32,865 Thanks. 1141 00:53:32,867 --> 00:53:35,401 - All right. - [EXHALES] 1142 00:53:35,403 --> 00:53:38,839 - Are you ready? - I don't know. Am I? 1143 00:53:44,412 --> 00:53:47,279 Hmm. 1144 00:53:47,281 --> 00:53:48,881 What are you thinking? 1145 00:53:48,883 --> 00:53:51,683 No, I'm just... I'm looking. It's cool. 1146 00:53:51,685 --> 00:53:53,053 Thank you. 1147 00:53:55,356 --> 00:53:57,022 What's that one? 1148 00:53:57,024 --> 00:53:59,424 Oh, just a piece of working on. 1149 00:53:59,426 --> 00:54:04,229 It shows how we use social media to lie and distort reality. 1150 00:54:04,231 --> 00:54:06,464 [SPITS AND COUGHS] 1151 00:54:06,466 --> 00:54:08,366 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 1152 00:54:08,368 --> 00:54:10,368 [CONTINUES COUGHING] 1153 00:54:10,370 --> 00:54:11,937 You were saying? 1154 00:54:11,939 --> 00:54:14,038 I was just saying that, you know, 1155 00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,741 we doctor our photos before we put them online. 1156 00:54:16,743 --> 00:54:19,778 And, you know, if you strip away all the filters and the makeup, 1157 00:54:19,780 --> 00:54:23,816 that's where you get the truth. 1158 00:54:23,818 --> 00:54:26,919 Yeah, feels like my life. 1159 00:54:26,921 --> 00:54:28,720 It's all our lives. 1160 00:54:28,722 --> 00:54:30,888 We're all hyper-self-conscious 1161 00:54:30,890 --> 00:54:34,695 and feel inadequate, like, all the time. 1162 00:54:37,497 --> 00:54:41,001 - It's awful. - Yeah, I can relate. 1163 00:54:43,037 --> 00:54:45,104 How so? 1164 00:54:45,106 --> 00:54:46,874 Mm. 1165 00:54:49,209 --> 00:54:51,075 You know, like this. 1166 00:54:51,077 --> 00:54:54,078 Your face? What about your face? 1167 00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:58,417 Well, I mean, you know, it's got a lot of flaws. 1168 00:54:58,419 --> 00:55:00,486 Like what? 1169 00:55:00,488 --> 00:55:02,190 It's stupid. 1170 00:55:04,325 --> 00:55:06,125 It's not stupid. 1171 00:55:06,127 --> 00:55:12,163 [♪♪] 1172 00:55:12,165 --> 00:55:14,098 Okay. 1173 00:55:14,100 --> 00:55:20,004 Your eyes are piercing, deep, volatile. 1174 00:55:20,006 --> 00:55:25,209 Your nose is the mark of a witty, 1175 00:55:25,211 --> 00:55:27,513 courteous, affable, 1176 00:55:27,515 --> 00:55:30,515 generous, and liberal man. 1177 00:55:30,517 --> 00:55:35,319 Your chin is goofy, spontaneous, 1178 00:55:35,321 --> 00:55:39,026 light, and obviously adorable. 1179 00:55:40,294 --> 00:55:43,529 You've got very rosy cheeks. That's also very adorable. 1180 00:55:43,531 --> 00:55:46,033 Mm. I made you smile. 1181 00:55:47,935 --> 00:55:53,037 It's not perfect, but perfect's boring. 1182 00:55:53,039 --> 00:55:55,006 So, no. 1183 00:55:55,008 --> 00:55:57,475 I don't know what flaws you're referring to. 1184 00:55:57,477 --> 00:56:00,947 [♪♪] 1185 00:56:05,285 --> 00:56:07,519 I-I have to go now. 1186 00:56:07,521 --> 00:56:09,957 Thanks for the water. 1187 00:56:17,397 --> 00:56:19,964 So, does Chris know about 1188 00:56:19,966 --> 00:56:23,401 your extracurricular activities? 1189 00:56:23,403 --> 00:56:25,169 Mm. 1190 00:56:25,171 --> 00:56:27,305 You don't actually like her, do you? 1191 00:56:27,307 --> 00:56:29,042 No, come on. 1192 00:56:30,611 --> 00:56:33,011 You do! You like her! 1193 00:56:33,013 --> 00:56:35,046 - No, I don't, no. - Yeah, I can tell. 1194 00:56:35,048 --> 00:56:36,314 That's ridiculous. 1195 00:56:36,316 --> 00:56:38,049 You're avoiding eye contact with me. 1196 00:56:38,051 --> 00:56:40,484 - That's 'cause I'm awkward. - [LAUGHS] 1197 00:56:40,486 --> 00:56:44,022 No, I can tell every single time you've had a crush on a girl 1198 00:56:44,024 --> 00:56:45,857 since, like, fourth grade. 1199 00:56:45,859 --> 00:56:49,928 Yeah, you get this whole... 1200 00:56:49,930 --> 00:56:53,234 wistful thing about you. 1201 00:56:54,935 --> 00:56:56,267 That's what you look like. 1202 00:56:56,269 --> 00:56:58,038 Whatever. 1203 00:56:59,138 --> 00:57:01,205 All right, I got you a present. 1204 00:57:01,207 --> 00:57:03,107 It's... no. 1205 00:57:03,109 --> 00:57:05,944 [♪♪] 1206 00:57:05,946 --> 00:57:08,080 - Wait, no. - [LAUGHS] 1207 00:57:08,082 --> 00:57:10,448 [PAPER CRINKLING] 1208 00:57:10,450 --> 00:57:13,618 It's a rhino. 1209 00:57:13,620 --> 00:57:15,953 I had a dream that you were a rhino, 1210 00:57:15,955 --> 00:57:17,622 'cause you kind of look like one. 1211 00:57:17,624 --> 00:57:20,325 How? 1212 00:57:20,327 --> 00:57:23,495 I think it's, um... 1213 00:57:23,497 --> 00:57:25,162 like, the mouth area. 1214 00:57:25,164 --> 00:57:28,933 I mean, look at this and then your mouth. 1215 00:57:28,935 --> 00:57:31,104 Can't really see my mouth. 1216 00:57:31,671 --> 00:57:34,140 Rawr! 1217 00:57:35,376 --> 00:57:37,345 [GRUNTS] 1218 00:57:40,546 --> 00:57:42,647 Cy, okay, listen. 1219 00:57:42,649 --> 00:57:46,317 This is an ESZ, 1220 00:57:46,319 --> 00:57:49,254 - an emotional safe zone, okay? - All right. 1221 00:57:49,256 --> 00:57:52,189 Feel free to express any and all emotions 1222 00:57:52,191 --> 00:57:56,028 within the parameters of this ESZ. 1223 00:57:56,030 --> 00:57:57,995 - [LAUGHS] - Stop. 1224 00:57:57,997 --> 00:58:00,464 Where did you get that from? 1225 00:58:00,466 --> 00:58:02,234 My therapist. 1226 00:58:02,236 --> 00:58:05,270 Oh, well, I actually really like our place, 1227 00:58:05,272 --> 00:58:08,674 and I don't want to tainted with the stench of emotions. 1228 00:58:08,676 --> 00:58:10,912 Emotions don't smell. 1229 00:58:13,147 --> 00:58:14,345 Okay. 1230 00:58:14,347 --> 00:58:20,453 I mean, feel free to be a festering ball of repression. 1231 00:58:22,957 --> 00:58:25,957 Just remember, my audition is next week. 1232 00:58:25,959 --> 00:58:28,060 Hey, don't worry. I'll be there. 1233 00:58:28,062 --> 00:58:30,361 Pinkie promise. 1234 00:58:30,363 --> 00:58:32,430 - I'm gonna hold you to it. - Okay. 1235 00:58:32,432 --> 00:58:36,200 - You gonna hold him to it, too? - Yeah. 1236 00:58:36,202 --> 00:58:41,605 Just like you want Roxy hold against your body 1237 00:58:41,607 --> 00:58:44,308 but you pop a trom-boner. 1238 00:58:44,310 --> 00:58:47,312 Ah, kids, get off my roof! 1239 00:58:47,314 --> 00:58:49,180 Oh, shit! 1240 00:58:49,182 --> 00:58:52,450 [BOTH LAUGHING QUIETLY] 1241 00:58:52,452 --> 00:58:59,524 [♪♪] 1242 00:58:59,526 --> 00:59:06,598 [♪♪] 1243 00:59:06,600 --> 00:59:13,604 [♪♪] 1244 00:59:13,606 --> 00:59:14,740 [GRUNTING] 1245 00:59:14,742 --> 00:59:18,343 [CELLPHONE VIBRATING] 1246 00:59:18,345 --> 00:59:24,082 [♪♪] 1247 00:59:24,084 --> 00:59:25,584 - Hiya! - Oh. 1248 00:59:25,586 --> 00:59:29,354 - Hiya! - Keep it loose. 1249 00:59:29,356 --> 00:59:32,089 It's all, like... I mean, you're perfect. 1250 00:59:32,091 --> 00:59:35,060 [GRUNTING] 1251 00:59:35,062 --> 00:59:38,031 Fuckin' crazy! 1252 00:59:38,631 --> 00:59:41,500 - Hiya! - Yeah. 1253 00:59:41,502 --> 00:59:42,767 What the hell, brah? 1254 00:59:42,769 --> 00:59:44,201 You're aping my skeeze! 1255 00:59:44,203 --> 00:59:46,238 Hold on, man. I'm filming. 1256 00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:47,506 Take a five-minute break, bro? 1257 00:59:47,508 --> 00:59:50,042 Alex, what the heck are you doing, brah? 1258 00:59:50,044 --> 00:59:51,209 What does it look like we're doing, man? 1259 00:59:51,211 --> 00:59:52,442 We're showing "Hiya" videos. 1260 00:59:52,444 --> 00:59:55,781 - That's my thing. - It was your thing. 1261 00:59:55,783 --> 00:59:57,549 Now it's Trent and my's thing. 1262 00:59:57,551 --> 01:00:02,654 Your social media is lame, man. Your fans are bored. 1263 01:00:02,656 --> 01:00:04,522 You're losing your influence. 1264 01:00:04,524 --> 01:00:07,526 How dare you stick my brand on some knockoff loser? 1265 01:00:07,528 --> 01:00:09,761 Whoa! 1266 01:00:09,763 --> 01:00:11,263 Sorry, bro. You're pretty savage. 1267 01:00:11,265 --> 01:00:14,399 He's savage. The audience is hungry. 1268 01:00:14,401 --> 01:00:16,834 And if your feed isn't supplying the audience with what it wants, 1269 01:00:16,836 --> 01:00:19,370 someone else's feed will. 1270 01:00:19,372 --> 01:00:22,406 Just give me a couple of days to just get Roxy 1271 01:00:22,408 --> 01:00:24,308 to go to prom with me, then I'm back in business, bro. 1272 01:00:24,310 --> 01:00:25,776 You don't have to do all this. 1273 01:00:25,778 --> 01:00:28,281 The feed waits for no man. 1274 01:00:30,283 --> 01:00:33,484 All right, Trent, from the top. 1275 01:00:33,486 --> 01:00:35,654 Let's go. Thunder. 1276 01:00:35,656 --> 01:00:37,421 Hiya! 1277 01:00:37,423 --> 01:00:40,325 [GRUNTING] 1278 01:00:40,327 --> 01:00:42,694 You know, when I've left "Hiya" videos in my dust, 1279 01:00:42,696 --> 01:00:45,564 and I'm making life-changing like-hack videos, 1280 01:00:45,566 --> 01:00:47,165 you won't be laughing! 1281 01:00:47,167 --> 01:00:49,567 Don't throw your churro at me, you dick! 1282 01:00:49,569 --> 01:00:52,437 I will throw what I want at you! 1283 01:00:52,439 --> 01:00:55,540 Dude, have even been reading the comments, man? 1284 01:00:55,542 --> 01:00:57,411 - No? - I... 1285 01:01:00,314 --> 01:01:01,580 "Lame" 1286 01:01:01,582 --> 01:01:04,415 "Nerd AF," bro. 1287 01:01:04,417 --> 01:01:08,319 "Kill it before it lays eggs." [TOILET FLUSHES] 1288 01:01:08,321 --> 01:01:10,721 That is how you smoke a cigarette 1289 01:01:10,723 --> 01:01:14,191 in a bathroom stall. 1290 01:01:14,193 --> 01:01:18,263 Chris. Hiya! Or whatever. 1291 01:01:18,265 --> 01:01:20,832 Now, the LCH bros are wondering, 1292 01:01:20,834 --> 01:01:22,200 who are you taking to prom? 1293 01:01:22,202 --> 01:01:24,269 Well, [CHUCKLES] LCH bros, 1294 01:01:24,271 --> 01:01:26,504 I haven't really figured that out yet, but... 1295 01:01:26,506 --> 01:01:28,205 No one, huh? Seems like the rumors are true. 1296 01:01:28,207 --> 01:01:30,642 Well, you heard it here... 1297 01:01:30,644 --> 01:01:33,211 Delete it. 1298 01:01:33,213 --> 01:01:34,546 I would like to know... 1299 01:01:34,548 --> 01:01:38,316 I said, bro, delete it. 1300 01:01:38,318 --> 01:01:41,589 - Do it, bro. - Yes, yes, yes, okay. 1301 01:01:43,557 --> 01:01:44,555 Fascist. 1302 01:01:44,557 --> 01:01:46,591 You shouldn't film shit in the bathroom, bro. 1303 01:01:46,593 --> 01:01:48,493 Haven't you heard of freedom of the press? 1304 01:01:48,495 --> 01:01:50,462 Freedom of the bathroom, dude. 1305 01:01:50,464 --> 01:01:51,796 I'm gonna tell everybody you're a pervert. 1306 01:01:51,798 --> 01:01:53,230 I am not a pervert. 1307 01:01:53,232 --> 01:01:54,533 I am a content creator. 1308 01:01:54,535 --> 01:01:56,801 And one day you will work for me. 1309 01:01:56,803 --> 01:01:59,837 Bro, get out of here! 1310 01:01:59,839 --> 01:02:03,707 There's got to be a bunch of laws against that, right? 1311 01:02:03,709 --> 01:02:05,676 There's got to be. 1312 01:02:05,678 --> 01:02:07,479 Why hasn't there been any Roxy updates? 1313 01:02:07,481 --> 01:02:09,513 Look, dude, romance takes time. 1314 01:02:09,515 --> 01:02:13,384 Dude, she... she makes me feel like my heart's on fire, 1315 01:02:13,386 --> 01:02:16,321 like everything's on fire. 1316 01:02:16,323 --> 01:02:17,788 But I've got this reputation to protect, 1317 01:02:17,790 --> 01:02:21,526 and I got fans to please, and right or wrong, bro, 1318 01:02:21,528 --> 01:02:25,732 they hate this cultured shit, so we to wrap it up fast. 1319 01:02:27,667 --> 01:02:29,636 Do you have a projector? 1320 01:02:34,640 --> 01:02:36,774 [WHISPERING LOUDLY] Roxy! 1321 01:02:36,776 --> 01:02:37,942 It's me! 1322 01:02:37,944 --> 01:02:40,645 - What? - Hey! Come here. 1323 01:02:40,647 --> 01:02:43,247 Come out. Look. 1324 01:02:43,249 --> 01:02:45,618 - Oh, boy. - Come see, come on, come out. 1325 01:02:48,955 --> 01:02:50,721 - Come here. - Okay. 1326 01:02:50,723 --> 01:02:55,826 [♪♪] 1327 01:02:55,828 --> 01:02:57,761 - Yeah, come here. - Mm-hmm. 1328 01:02:57,763 --> 01:03:00,365 Okay. Look. 1329 01:03:00,367 --> 01:03:04,002 "The real Chris." 1330 01:03:04,004 --> 01:03:06,738 [CLEARS THROAT] 1331 01:03:06,740 --> 01:03:08,609 "Hates pasta. 1332 01:03:10,443 --> 01:03:12,444 Is terrified of snakes." 1333 01:03:12,446 --> 01:03:15,382 - I... I can read. I... - Okay. 1334 01:03:19,553 --> 01:03:21,019 Just her music, though, like... 1335 01:03:21,021 --> 01:03:23,223 - Right. - Yeah. 1336 01:03:28,828 --> 01:03:30,861 Francis... it's creative, right? 1337 01:03:30,863 --> 01:03:32,863 - It's cute. - Thanks. 1338 01:03:32,865 --> 01:03:36,301 "Loves sunrises over lakes." 1339 01:03:36,303 --> 01:03:38,772 [CHUCKLES] 1340 01:03:40,039 --> 01:03:41,772 That's where I learned to wakeboard. 1341 01:03:41,774 --> 01:03:44,875 Mm. That's cool. 1342 01:03:44,877 --> 01:03:46,747 [PROJECTOR BEEPS] 1343 01:03:47,981 --> 01:03:49,913 That's... that is true. 1344 01:03:49,915 --> 01:03:51,718 - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. 1345 01:03:55,622 --> 01:03:57,656 It's a good place to start. Yeah. 1346 01:03:57,658 --> 01:03:59,793 Yeah? Okay, good. 1347 01:04:07,801 --> 01:04:09,600 I, um [CLEARS THROAT]... 1348 01:04:09,602 --> 01:04:14,071 I really made a mess the other night. 1349 01:04:14,073 --> 01:04:15,506 I mean, Fukushima was a mess. 1350 01:04:15,508 --> 01:04:18,509 You just kind of dropped your fake cast. 1351 01:04:18,511 --> 01:04:20,779 Yeah. 1352 01:04:20,781 --> 01:04:22,946 I'm really sorry, Roxy. 1353 01:04:22,948 --> 01:04:31,055 [♪♪] 1354 01:04:31,057 --> 01:04:39,397 [♪♪] 1355 01:04:39,399 --> 01:04:41,665 Mm-hmm. Do you want to...? 1356 01:04:41,667 --> 01:04:43,067 - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah? Oh. 1357 01:04:43,069 --> 01:04:45,403 - Uh, just... okay. - Okay. 1358 01:04:45,405 --> 01:04:47,339 - Yeah. - [LAUGHING] Okay. 1359 01:04:47,341 --> 01:04:51,975 [♪♪] 1360 01:04:51,977 --> 01:04:54,747 [INDISTINCT TALKING] 1361 01:04:56,082 --> 01:04:59,653 [PROJECTOR CLICKS AND BEEPS] 1362 01:05:03,923 --> 01:05:06,759 [WATER BUBBLING] 1363 01:05:10,464 --> 01:05:11,930 [CELLPHONE CHIMES] 1364 01:05:11,932 --> 01:05:13,934 Shit. 1365 01:05:15,502 --> 01:05:16,734 "Thanks for understanding that 1366 01:05:16,736 --> 01:05:19,703 I didn't want to take it too far, Chris." 1367 01:05:19,705 --> 01:05:23,908 "Well, you're an incredibly special girl... person... 1368 01:05:23,910 --> 01:05:27,479 and I'm cool with waiting." 1369 01:05:27,481 --> 01:05:31,116 "Well, thank you for respecting my girl person-ness." 1370 01:05:31,118 --> 01:05:33,417 "Why are you still up?" 1371 01:05:33,419 --> 01:05:36,520 "Can't sleep. Wanna talk?" 1372 01:05:36,522 --> 01:05:38,691 "With you? Always." 1373 01:05:41,727 --> 01:05:42,894 Cool. 1374 01:05:42,896 --> 01:05:45,696 You have a very weird brain. 1375 01:05:45,698 --> 01:05:47,700 I like to see what's in it. 1376 01:05:49,403 --> 01:05:51,468 So, did you know about the jellyfish 1377 01:05:51,470 --> 01:05:53,738 that's biologically immortal? 1378 01:05:53,740 --> 01:05:59,778 [♪♪] 1379 01:05:59,780 --> 01:06:02,479 You know, if... if that's true... 1380 01:06:02,481 --> 01:06:09,854 [♪♪] 1381 01:06:09,856 --> 01:06:17,095 [♪♪] 1382 01:06:17,097 --> 01:06:19,497 ...in that tiny change... 1383 01:06:19,499 --> 01:06:21,801 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1384 01:06:24,004 --> 01:06:26,904 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1385 01:06:26,906 --> 01:06:35,779 [♪♪] 1386 01:06:35,781 --> 01:06:44,221 [♪♪] 1387 01:06:44,223 --> 01:06:53,064 [♪♪] 1388 01:06:53,066 --> 01:07:01,906 [♪♪] 1389 01:07:01,908 --> 01:07:10,582 [♪♪] 1390 01:07:10,584 --> 01:07:13,017 - Hey, Roxy? - Yeah? 1391 01:07:13,019 --> 01:07:15,720 Is there any possible reality where 1392 01:07:15,722 --> 01:07:18,823 you might wanna go to prom with me? 1393 01:07:18,825 --> 01:07:27,098 [♪♪] 1394 01:07:27,100 --> 01:07:29,167 Yes. 1395 01:07:29,169 --> 01:07:33,238 [♪♪] 1396 01:07:33,240 --> 01:07:35,540 "I'd love to, Chris." 1397 01:07:35,542 --> 01:07:42,180 [♪♪] 1398 01:07:42,182 --> 01:07:48,986 [♪♪] 1399 01:07:48,988 --> 01:07:55,692 [♪♪] 1400 01:07:55,694 --> 01:07:57,861 [JET ENGINE ROARING] 1401 01:07:57,863 --> 01:08:03,868 [♪♪] 1402 01:08:03,870 --> 01:08:09,741 [♪♪] 1403 01:08:09,743 --> 01:08:14,178 [PLAYING TROMBONE] 1404 01:08:14,180 --> 01:08:17,247 All right, which brings us to a Miss Katherine Walker. 1405 01:08:17,249 --> 01:08:19,017 Is that correct? 1406 01:08:19,019 --> 01:08:20,285 Yes, thank you. 1407 01:08:20,287 --> 01:08:22,286 Hi, Ms. Walker. Welcome. 1408 01:08:22,288 --> 01:08:24,221 What will you be playing for us today? 1409 01:08:24,223 --> 01:08:28,626 Uh, the "Morceau Symphonique" by Alexandre Guilmant. 1410 01:08:28,628 --> 01:08:33,130 Very ambitious. Uh, well, give it a shot. 1411 01:08:33,132 --> 01:08:34,967 - Go ahead. - Okay. 1412 01:08:40,306 --> 01:08:42,907 [PLAYING "MORCEAU SYMPHONIQUE"] 1413 01:08:42,909 --> 01:08:50,148 [♪♪] 1414 01:08:50,150 --> 01:08:53,687 [NOTES SQUEAK] 1415 01:08:56,989 --> 01:08:59,924 Uh, can I just try it one more time? 1416 01:08:59,926 --> 01:09:01,593 Ms. Walker... 1417 01:09:01,595 --> 01:09:04,261 Please? 1418 01:09:04,263 --> 01:09:06,098 No. 1419 01:09:08,234 --> 01:09:10,934 [BREATHING HEAVILY] 1420 01:09:10,936 --> 01:09:13,906 [INDISTINCT TALKING IN BACKGROUND] 1421 01:09:25,819 --> 01:09:28,185 Let's go, let's go! [WHISTLE BLOWS] 1422 01:09:28,187 --> 01:09:30,156 Hey! 1423 01:09:33,193 --> 01:09:34,892 I'm in love with her. 1424 01:09:34,894 --> 01:09:37,161 And I'm gonna tell her, like, tonight. 1425 01:09:37,163 --> 01:09:39,831 [MONOTONE] I'm so happy for you. 1426 01:09:39,833 --> 01:09:42,966 What? No, "This is a huge mistake"? 1427 01:09:42,968 --> 01:09:47,371 Or, "This is gonna ruin your life utterly and completely"? 1428 01:09:47,373 --> 01:09:51,341 No, no, you do you, okay? 1429 01:09:51,343 --> 01:09:53,044 What's wrong with you, man? 1430 01:09:53,046 --> 01:09:56,014 What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? 1431 01:09:56,016 --> 01:09:57,982 You forgot about my audition, Cy. 1432 01:09:57,984 --> 01:10:00,283 - I had to do it alone. - What? 1433 01:10:00,285 --> 01:10:02,019 Oh, no, no, no. No way. I didn't. 1434 01:10:02,021 --> 01:10:03,854 W-W-What? 1435 01:10:03,856 --> 01:10:06,424 Clearly, your little catfishing love triangle 1436 01:10:06,426 --> 01:10:08,893 is your one and only priority. 1437 01:10:08,895 --> 01:10:11,062 And since you're always so desperate for my advice 1438 01:10:11,064 --> 01:10:16,267 regarding your pathetic charade, here it is. 1439 01:10:16,269 --> 01:10:19,170 Go ahead, tell her the truth. 1440 01:10:19,172 --> 01:10:20,938 Look at me! 1441 01:10:20,940 --> 01:10:22,706 Either she'll never believe you, 1442 01:10:22,708 --> 01:10:24,876 or she'll be so embarrassed and mortified 1443 01:10:24,878 --> 01:10:26,911 that you manipulated and lied to her, 1444 01:10:26,913 --> 01:10:29,883 she'll never believe you anyway. 1445 01:10:32,351 --> 01:10:35,018 God. It's all bullshit! 1446 01:10:35,020 --> 01:10:39,959 You decided to live in this, like, weird fantasy world and... 1447 01:10:44,763 --> 01:10:47,165 I just thought you were different. 1448 01:10:47,167 --> 01:10:50,300 Obviously, I was wrong. 1449 01:10:50,302 --> 01:10:53,871 You're a phony, Cy, 1450 01:10:53,873 --> 01:10:55,942 just like everyone else. 1451 01:11:02,481 --> 01:11:04,182 Well, I appreciate your honesty. 1452 01:11:04,184 --> 01:11:05,750 - My honesty? - Yeah. 1453 01:11:05,752 --> 01:11:07,285 That's what friends are for, Cy! 1454 01:11:07,287 --> 01:11:10,087 You know, also, they're supposed to show up for each other. 1455 01:11:10,089 --> 01:11:12,889 That's kind of an integral part of things. 1456 01:11:12,891 --> 01:11:15,026 Well, you're just pissed off because I can't give you 1457 01:11:15,028 --> 01:11:18,795 my undivided attention like I used to. 1458 01:11:18,797 --> 01:11:20,363 Oh, okay, you know what? 1459 01:11:20,365 --> 01:11:23,067 Good luck telling Roxy you're in love with her 1460 01:11:23,069 --> 01:11:24,935 or whatever. 1461 01:11:24,937 --> 01:11:27,205 I hope Chris leaves some of your internal organs intact 1462 01:11:27,207 --> 01:11:30,340 so you can still donate them after you're dead, you fucker! 1463 01:11:30,342 --> 01:11:39,149 [♪♪] 1464 01:11:39,151 --> 01:11:47,825 [♪♪] 1465 01:11:47,827 --> 01:11:56,466 [♪♪] 1466 01:11:56,468 --> 01:12:05,276 [♪♪] 1467 01:12:05,278 --> 01:12:13,951 [♪♪] 1468 01:12:13,953 --> 01:12:15,987 Hey, Chris, uh, this is Cy. 1469 01:12:15,989 --> 01:12:17,554 I'm calling you about Roxy. 1470 01:12:17,556 --> 01:12:20,825 I think I'm the one who deserves to be with her. 1471 01:12:20,827 --> 01:12:22,794 I think she deserves to be with me. 1472 01:12:22,796 --> 01:12:26,130 You're not good enough. You're not... I mean, you're... 1473 01:12:26,132 --> 01:12:28,331 you're not the right person for her. 1474 01:12:28,333 --> 01:12:29,532 I think I am. 1475 01:12:29,534 --> 01:12:33,537 And I think I'm the one she needs to be with me 1476 01:12:33,539 --> 01:12:37,140 and not you. 1477 01:12:37,142 --> 01:12:38,142 Uh, sorry. 1478 01:12:38,144 --> 01:12:40,010 I don't know how else to say it. 1479 01:12:40,012 --> 01:12:41,478 I hope you understand. 1480 01:12:41,480 --> 01:12:44,816 No hard feelings. I just had to be upfront. 1481 01:12:44,818 --> 01:12:49,386 [♪♪] 1482 01:12:49,388 --> 01:12:51,288 Love, lust... 1483 01:12:51,290 --> 01:12:56,260 it all comes together tonight at prom 2018! 1484 01:12:56,262 --> 01:13:00,497 Who's with me? It's gonna be dooooope! 1485 01:13:00,499 --> 01:13:03,033 Hey. I don't know what that means, 1486 01:13:03,035 --> 01:13:04,835 but if it involves alcohol or drugs, 1487 01:13:04,837 --> 01:13:06,237 I will ruin you. 1488 01:13:06,239 --> 01:13:08,038 - Oh, Principal Hendrix. - Yeah. 1489 01:13:08,040 --> 01:13:09,907 Principal Hendrix, the student body is dying to know, 1490 01:13:09,909 --> 01:13:12,042 what was your prom night like? 1491 01:13:12,044 --> 01:13:14,245 - Picture or video? - It's video. 1492 01:13:14,247 --> 01:13:17,380 Uh, my prom... captain of the water polo team 1493 01:13:17,382 --> 01:13:19,916 fingered my urethra for an hour and a half 1494 01:13:19,918 --> 01:13:21,117 in the back of my mom's minivan. 1495 01:13:21,119 --> 01:13:24,054 It was a very painful experience. 1496 01:13:24,056 --> 01:13:27,425 Pay attention in anatomy. 1497 01:13:27,427 --> 01:13:28,925 I love you guys a lot. 1498 01:13:28,927 --> 01:13:32,295 It's gonna be so much fun. 1499 01:13:32,297 --> 01:13:36,068 Is that something that's, like, easy to get wrong, or...? 1500 01:13:45,244 --> 01:13:47,879 [KNOCKING] 1501 01:13:47,881 --> 01:13:51,448 I'm going to tell her everything. 1502 01:13:51,450 --> 01:13:53,084 I want to show you something. 1503 01:13:53,086 --> 01:13:54,618 Come with me. It'll be quick. 1504 01:13:54,620 --> 01:13:58,555 Just something in my garage that I think you'll like. 1505 01:13:58,557 --> 01:14:00,392 This way here, buddy. 1506 01:14:03,495 --> 01:14:05,161 Come here, come here, come here, yeah, yeah. 1507 01:14:05,163 --> 01:14:06,997 There's something back here. Just over here. 1508 01:14:06,999 --> 01:14:09,599 No, no, no, no, no! Aah! Aah! 1509 01:14:09,601 --> 01:14:10,968 - Give me your phone, bro. - Dude! 1510 01:14:10,970 --> 01:14:12,269 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 1511 01:14:12,271 --> 01:14:14,037 I may not be right for her, like you said, 1512 01:14:14,039 --> 01:14:15,505 but I can't have you screw up tonight, okay? 1513 01:14:15,507 --> 01:14:17,041 I'm not a bad guy, all right? 1514 01:14:17,043 --> 01:14:20,377 It's just, I need this. Dinner's on me, bro. 1515 01:14:20,379 --> 01:14:22,179 But you took my phone. 1516 01:14:22,181 --> 01:14:23,980 I don't want you calling anybody. 1517 01:14:23,982 --> 01:14:26,416 No, no, no, no, no, no! 1518 01:14:26,418 --> 01:14:29,319 Ugh! Ugh! 1519 01:14:29,321 --> 01:14:31,121 [GRUNTS] 1520 01:14:31,123 --> 01:14:32,188 Damn it! 1521 01:14:32,190 --> 01:14:35,259 [ANYA MARINA'S "DYNAMITE" PLAYING] 1522 01:14:35,261 --> 01:14:43,600 [♪♪] 1523 01:14:43,602 --> 01:14:45,202 ♪ Hit the deck, watch your back ♪ 1524 01:14:45,204 --> 01:14:47,971 ♪ Don't say I never warned you not to light it ♪ 1525 01:14:47,973 --> 01:14:49,540 ♪ Light it ♪ 1526 01:14:49,542 --> 01:14:51,142 ♪ Lit fuse, bad news ♪ 1527 01:14:51,144 --> 01:14:53,978 ♪ Take it or leave it, don't you fight it ♪ 1528 01:14:53,980 --> 01:14:55,313 ♪ Fight it ♪ 1529 01:14:55,315 --> 01:14:58,215 ♪ We are, we are the young and breathless ♪ 1530 01:14:58,217 --> 01:15:03,120 ♪ We are, we are the young and reckless ♪ 1531 01:15:03,122 --> 01:15:09,026 ♪ Can I take you high, high, high ♪ 1532 01:15:09,028 --> 01:15:14,965 ♪ And we've got this light, light, light ♪ 1533 01:15:14,967 --> 01:15:20,537 ♪ Gonna blow your mind, mind, mind ♪ 1534 01:15:20,539 --> 01:15:27,243 ♪ 'Cause I'm dynamite, mite, mite ♪ 1535 01:15:27,245 --> 01:15:28,545 - [DIAL TONE] - Come on, you ancient 1536 01:15:28,547 --> 01:15:32,049 asshole computer. [COMPUTER BEEPING] 1537 01:15:32,051 --> 01:15:33,584 [LAUGHS] Oh, my God. 1538 01:15:33,586 --> 01:15:35,251 All right, okay. 1539 01:15:35,253 --> 01:15:38,221 Uh, there's got to be something, got to be something. 1540 01:15:38,223 --> 01:15:42,059 - You've got mail! - [CHUCKLES] How pleasant. 1541 01:15:42,061 --> 01:15:45,328 Man, this computer's old. All right. 1542 01:15:45,330 --> 01:15:47,266 Okay. 1543 01:16:01,314 --> 01:16:03,149 [COMPUTER DINGS] 1544 01:16:11,790 --> 01:16:14,024 [COMPUTER DINGS] 1545 01:16:14,026 --> 01:16:16,559 You freak! 1546 01:16:16,561 --> 01:16:19,064 Oh, shit. 1547 01:16:20,766 --> 01:16:23,634 Well... 1548 01:16:23,636 --> 01:16:25,372 "JK." 1549 01:16:35,614 --> 01:16:38,017 [COMPUTER DINGS] 1550 01:16:47,526 --> 01:16:50,462 [CELLPHONE VIBRATING] 1551 01:16:55,534 --> 01:16:57,369 Hello? 1552 01:16:59,404 --> 01:17:01,407 Who is this? 1553 01:17:03,275 --> 01:17:05,276 All right, listen, you sick asshole, 1554 01:17:05,278 --> 01:17:08,411 I don't know how you got my number. 1555 01:17:08,413 --> 01:17:10,281 Wait. Where? 1556 01:17:10,283 --> 01:17:12,550 [CRICKETS CHIRPING] 1557 01:17:12,552 --> 01:17:15,152 [CLICKING] 1558 01:17:15,154 --> 01:17:18,154 [GRUNTING] God! 1559 01:17:18,156 --> 01:17:19,790 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. 1560 01:17:19,792 --> 01:17:21,258 - Dude. - Thank you so much. 1561 01:17:21,260 --> 01:17:22,593 - You saved me. - Okay, you want to tell me 1562 01:17:22,595 --> 01:17:24,828 why the hell you were locked in Chris's garage? 1563 01:17:24,830 --> 01:17:26,397 It's actually... it's a really long story, 1564 01:17:26,399 --> 01:17:29,300 but I need to get to prom. Can you please drive me? 1565 01:17:29,302 --> 01:17:31,469 Like, look, you've been an amazing friend, 1566 01:17:31,471 --> 01:17:33,304 and I know I've been really shitty. 1567 01:17:33,306 --> 01:17:34,638 - Yeah. - And I'm really sorry. 1568 01:17:34,640 --> 01:17:37,407 And are you still mad at me? 1569 01:17:37,409 --> 01:17:41,211 I mean, do you think that I would just snap out of it? 1570 01:17:41,213 --> 01:17:44,617 Yes, I am still mad. You hurt my feelings. 1571 01:17:46,319 --> 01:17:48,318 You knew how important that audition was. 1572 01:17:48,320 --> 01:17:49,886 Yeah, I know. And I'm really, really, really, 1573 01:17:49,888 --> 01:17:51,455 really, really, really, really sorry. 1574 01:17:51,457 --> 01:17:53,523 And I fucking suck and I'm terrible 1575 01:17:53,525 --> 01:17:55,425 and everything bad, and you every right 1576 01:17:55,427 --> 01:17:57,193 to be mad at me, and I'm fucking awful, 1577 01:17:57,195 --> 01:17:59,863 and I'm really, really sorry. 1578 01:17:59,865 --> 01:18:03,533 Okay, okay. 1579 01:18:03,535 --> 01:18:06,202 It's fine. They said I can audition again. 1580 01:18:06,204 --> 01:18:08,205 My mom, like... 1581 01:18:08,207 --> 01:18:10,273 my mom told them that I have diabetes 1582 01:18:10,275 --> 01:18:12,475 and I was, like, low on insulin. 1583 01:18:12,477 --> 01:18:14,812 - Oh, my God. That's great. - Yeah. 1584 01:18:14,814 --> 01:18:17,281 I promise I'll be there this time. 1585 01:18:17,283 --> 01:18:19,817 Hey, there, girls. 1586 01:18:19,819 --> 01:18:23,386 Oh, I thought you were two girls. 1587 01:18:23,388 --> 01:18:26,189 Oh, well, that's cool. I'm down. 1588 01:18:26,191 --> 01:18:28,392 - [CAR ALARM BEEPS] - She's 16. 1589 01:18:28,394 --> 01:18:30,161 So you might actually want to leave 1590 01:18:30,163 --> 01:18:32,662 before the guy from "Dateline" comes. 1591 01:18:32,664 --> 01:18:36,901 Is it because I don't look like my profile picture? 1592 01:18:36,903 --> 01:18:39,603 Hey, lady. 1593 01:18:39,605 --> 01:18:44,742 [♪♪] 1594 01:18:44,744 --> 01:18:51,217 ♪ Take your bra off toniiiiiight ♪ 1595 01:18:53,653 --> 01:18:57,755 ♪ Girl, you don't need your clothes ♪ 1596 01:18:57,757 --> 01:19:01,791 ♪ Girl, you don't need your clothes ♪ 1597 01:19:01,793 --> 01:19:03,928 ♪ Take your bra off tonight ♪ 1598 01:19:03,930 --> 01:19:06,529 So, you don't shave your armpits? 1599 01:19:06,531 --> 01:19:07,965 I feel like if you don't have to, 1600 01:19:07,967 --> 01:19:10,434 I shouldn't have to shave them, mm-hmm. 1601 01:19:10,436 --> 01:19:12,769 - Serious? That's... yes. - Yeah. 1602 01:19:12,771 --> 01:19:15,973 I just want you to know I think it's really hot. 1603 01:19:15,975 --> 01:19:18,709 ♪ Take your bra off tonight ♪ 1604 01:19:18,711 --> 01:19:19,977 Whoa, hey, hey. 1605 01:19:19,979 --> 01:19:21,879 Suit and tie for the gentleman only. 1606 01:19:21,881 --> 01:19:23,413 Come on, man. 1607 01:19:23,415 --> 01:19:25,782 Hey, boner boy. [LAUGHS] 1608 01:19:25,784 --> 01:19:27,586 Ugh. 1609 01:19:28,954 --> 01:19:31,854 Hello! Hi, guys. 1610 01:19:31,856 --> 01:19:33,523 So, most of you don't know this, 1611 01:19:33,525 --> 01:19:36,492 but I'm not just Principal Hendrix. 1612 01:19:36,494 --> 01:19:41,631 I'm also quite an accomplished singer/songwriter. 1613 01:19:41,633 --> 01:19:43,834 [STUDENTS BOOING] 1614 01:19:43,836 --> 01:19:46,002 Thank you. 1615 01:19:46,004 --> 01:19:50,310 [PLAYING GUITAR] 1616 01:19:52,311 --> 01:19:55,345 ♪ Ghosts walk through the hallway ♪ 1617 01:19:55,347 --> 01:19:58,948 ♪ Go ahead and die ♪ 1618 01:19:58,950 --> 01:20:02,286 ♪ I live off silence and dark ♪ 1619 01:20:02,288 --> 01:20:06,991 ♪ I'll grow a super human heart ♪ 1620 01:20:06,993 --> 01:20:10,327 ♪ I don't need anything ♪ 1621 01:20:10,329 --> 01:20:13,730 ♪ I don't need anyone ♪ 1622 01:20:13,732 --> 01:20:16,599 ♪ I don't need you ♪ 1623 01:20:16,601 --> 01:20:18,835 ♪ I'll take your side ♪ 1624 01:20:18,837 --> 01:20:20,437 Hey, I got a love emergency. 1625 01:20:20,439 --> 01:20:21,738 There's a girl in there that should be with me, 1626 01:20:21,740 --> 01:20:23,040 but she's with a guy, the wrong guy. 1627 01:20:23,042 --> 01:20:25,341 - Chris in there with Roxy. - Exactly. 1628 01:20:25,343 --> 01:20:27,010 I need your tux. I'm begging you. 1629 01:20:27,012 --> 01:20:29,380 ♪ Tenderness for no one ♪ 1630 01:20:29,382 --> 01:20:34,852 ♪ Ever, I don't need anything ♪ 1631 01:20:34,854 --> 01:20:38,022 ♪ I don't need anyone ♪ 1632 01:20:38,024 --> 01:20:41,524 ♪ I don't need anything ♪ 1633 01:20:41,526 --> 01:20:44,060 ♪ I don't need you ♪ 1634 01:20:44,062 --> 01:20:47,598 ♪ I don't need anything ♪ 1635 01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:50,501 ♪ I don't need anyone ♪ 1636 01:20:50,503 --> 01:20:54,304 ♪ I don't need anything ♪ 1637 01:20:54,306 --> 01:20:57,573 ♪ I don't need you ♪ 1638 01:20:57,575 --> 01:20:59,943 [♪♪] 1639 01:20:59,945 --> 01:21:01,377 [SONG ENDS] 1640 01:21:01,379 --> 01:21:03,313 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1641 01:21:03,315 --> 01:21:06,684 Use condoms tonight! Whoo! 1642 01:21:06,686 --> 01:21:14,791 [♪♪] 1643 01:21:14,793 --> 01:21:22,933 [♪♪] 1644 01:21:22,935 --> 01:21:31,075 [♪♪] 1645 01:21:31,077 --> 01:21:39,416 [♪♪] 1646 01:21:39,418 --> 01:21:47,691 [♪♪] 1647 01:21:47,693 --> 01:21:55,666 [♪♪] 1648 01:21:55,668 --> 01:21:58,568 Hey, could you cut the music? Can you please cut the music? 1649 01:21:58,570 --> 01:22:01,371 Please. Hey, hello? 1650 01:22:01,373 --> 01:22:02,740 Hey, can you cut the music. 1651 01:22:02,742 --> 01:22:04,474 - [SONG STOPS] - Thank you. 1652 01:22:04,476 --> 01:22:07,877 Hi. Hello, everyone, look at me, please. Hello. 1653 01:22:07,879 --> 01:22:09,813 - Oh, shit. - This isn't really easy to say, 1654 01:22:09,815 --> 01:22:11,648 - but, um... - I'll be right back. 1655 01:22:11,650 --> 01:22:14,385 Over the last month, I've actually been pretending 1656 01:22:14,387 --> 01:22:16,719 to be Chris Newton online. 1657 01:22:16,721 --> 01:22:18,554 He's actually been paying me to do this. 1658 01:22:18,556 --> 01:22:21,157 So that way, he'd impress Roxy enough 1659 01:22:21,159 --> 01:22:23,794 that she'd go to prom with him. 1660 01:22:23,796 --> 01:22:25,661 Hey, Roxy. 1661 01:22:25,663 --> 01:22:26,964 Yeah, it's actually been me 1662 01:22:26,966 --> 01:22:28,932 you been liking this whole time, and, uh, 1663 01:22:28,934 --> 01:22:32,469 well, I just really wanted to tell you that I like you. 1664 01:22:32,471 --> 01:22:34,071 How do you guys believe this clown?! 1665 01:22:34,073 --> 01:22:36,740 The nerd who went viral for this? 1666 01:22:36,742 --> 01:22:37,741 [LAUGHTER] 1667 01:22:37,743 --> 01:22:41,478 - Boner boy! - Boner boy, right? 1668 01:22:41,480 --> 01:22:43,580 Boner boy! Boner boy! 1669 01:22:43,582 --> 01:22:46,082 Shut up. Shut up. Hey. I get it. All right? 1670 01:22:46,084 --> 01:22:48,585 I've lived it. It... it... it sucks. 1671 01:22:48,587 --> 01:22:49,952 It fucking sucks, all right? 1672 01:22:49,954 --> 01:22:53,791 It sucks to be humiliated, and it sucks to be flawed 1673 01:22:53,793 --> 01:22:57,760 and awkward and weird in this perfect goddamn world. 1674 01:22:57,762 --> 01:22:59,996 But you know what? I would rather be weird, 1675 01:22:59,998 --> 01:23:03,901 lame, and awkward than live a superficial lie, all right? 1676 01:23:03,903 --> 01:23:06,937 Also, I know I've never gone down on a woman before, 1677 01:23:06,939 --> 01:23:10,974 but I have no doubt that I'd be fantastic at it. 1678 01:23:10,976 --> 01:23:12,209 [LAUGHTER] 1679 01:23:12,211 --> 01:23:13,710 We'll see. 1680 01:23:13,712 --> 01:23:17,781 Fuck off, man. Fuck this video. 1681 01:23:17,783 --> 01:23:19,148 Oh, hey, Roxy. 1682 01:23:19,150 --> 01:23:21,984 Hey. You both lied to me. 1683 01:23:21,986 --> 01:23:23,754 Well, I mean, I was really like 1684 01:23:23,756 --> 01:23:25,188 his social media image consultant. 1685 01:23:25,190 --> 01:23:27,491 Yeah, Roxy, like celebrities have. 1686 01:23:27,493 --> 01:23:28,858 Yeah. 1687 01:23:28,860 --> 01:23:30,059 [CROWD GASPS] 1688 01:23:30,061 --> 01:23:32,629 - Shit! - Oh. 1689 01:23:32,631 --> 01:23:35,198 Yeah, you really made the right choice there. 1690 01:23:35,200 --> 01:23:37,067 Is your hand okay? 1691 01:23:37,069 --> 01:23:39,670 - Yeah, no, it's fine. - Aah! 1692 01:23:39,672 --> 01:23:41,505 [LAUGHTER, CHEERING] 1693 01:23:41,507 --> 01:23:43,240 - Jesus. - Your glasses. 1694 01:23:43,242 --> 01:23:46,712 - Thank you. - No problem. 1695 01:23:48,780 --> 01:23:50,913 Uh, you think it's broke? 1696 01:23:50,915 --> 01:23:52,582 I don't know, man. 1697 01:23:52,584 --> 01:23:54,984 - Dude, don't move it like that. - I'm sorry. 1698 01:23:54,986 --> 01:23:57,824 - All right, dude, it's in. - Dude, I'm sorry. 1699 01:23:58,623 --> 01:24:00,256 [DOOR OPENS] 1700 01:24:00,258 --> 01:24:01,724 Let's hide. 1701 01:24:01,726 --> 01:24:03,893 - No, we got it. - Yeah. 1702 01:24:03,895 --> 01:24:05,228 [DOOR CLOSES] 1703 01:24:05,230 --> 01:24:06,996 - Hey. - Hi. 1704 01:24:06,998 --> 01:24:08,965 I... I, um... 1705 01:24:08,967 --> 01:24:13,002 I just... I don't know any girls like you at all 1706 01:24:13,004 --> 01:24:14,705 because you... [CHUCKLES] 1707 01:24:14,707 --> 01:24:16,974 You make me nervous and scared, 1708 01:24:16,976 --> 01:24:21,111 and I feel like you're judging me but not judging me. 1709 01:24:21,113 --> 01:24:24,615 - Mm-hmm. - And when you look at me 1710 01:24:24,617 --> 01:24:27,584 like this, I feel like, ugh, 1711 01:24:27,586 --> 01:24:29,719 like, I feel like you can see me. 1712 01:24:29,721 --> 01:24:30,953 Like I can't see me. 1713 01:24:30,955 --> 01:24:35,992 And I feel like like a naked boy. 1714 01:24:35,994 --> 01:24:41,800 But... but you make me you make me want to be like a naked man. 1715 01:24:42,834 --> 01:24:44,134 Right? 1716 01:24:44,136 --> 01:24:46,638 Mm-hmm. 1717 01:24:48,908 --> 01:24:50,607 What are those? 1718 01:24:50,609 --> 01:24:53,309 - Frozen peas. - Oh. 1719 01:24:53,311 --> 01:24:55,144 Not for me? 1720 01:24:55,146 --> 01:24:58,117 - Not for you. - Okay. 1721 01:24:58,816 --> 01:25:02,618 I am so sorry for embarrassing you. 1722 01:25:02,620 --> 01:25:05,056 And I just... 1723 01:25:11,062 --> 01:25:12,261 [CHUCKLES] 1724 01:25:12,263 --> 01:25:14,764 [CHUCKLES] 1725 01:25:14,766 --> 01:25:17,000 You're not a bad guy. 1726 01:25:17,002 --> 01:25:20,036 You just... 1727 01:25:20,038 --> 01:25:24,575 You're actually quite interesting and odd. 1728 01:25:24,577 --> 01:25:26,678 Just be you. 1729 01:25:28,780 --> 01:25:31,113 Can you see on my hand that I'd like to give you 1730 01:25:31,115 --> 01:25:33,983 a ride home? 1731 01:25:33,985 --> 01:25:35,919 Mm. 1732 01:25:35,921 --> 01:25:37,054 Please. 1733 01:25:37,056 --> 01:25:39,590 You may like me because I punched you. 1734 01:25:39,592 --> 01:25:41,291 [LAUGHS] 1735 01:25:41,293 --> 01:25:43,794 I mean, it's pretty hot. 1736 01:25:43,796 --> 01:25:46,228 Mm-hmm. 1737 01:25:46,230 --> 01:25:48,066 Yeah. 1738 01:25:53,271 --> 01:25:56,575 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING] 1739 01:26:03,082 --> 01:26:05,017 Brought you these. 1740 01:26:06,685 --> 01:26:09,318 Pretty sure they expired in the '90s, but... 1741 01:26:09,320 --> 01:26:11,957 you can still use them. 1742 01:26:16,695 --> 01:26:18,127 Well, at least your new viral video 1743 01:26:18,129 --> 01:26:21,965 might erase your previous one from pop culture. 1744 01:26:21,967 --> 01:26:24,901 "Rad chick clobbers two tools." 1745 01:26:24,903 --> 01:26:28,772 So only witness protection program embarrassing. 1746 01:26:28,774 --> 01:26:31,644 I can handle that. 1747 01:26:41,052 --> 01:26:46,255 So I know what I did was really stupid, 1748 01:26:46,257 --> 01:26:51,728 and you probably don't ever want to see me again, but... 1749 01:26:51,730 --> 01:26:53,863 I'm crazy for you, Roxy. 1750 01:26:53,865 --> 01:26:57,000 Like, if you if you have any room left in your heart 1751 01:26:57,002 --> 01:27:00,136 for forgiveness, I'd do anything for a second chance. 1752 01:27:00,138 --> 01:27:02,038 Stop. 1753 01:27:02,040 --> 01:27:04,875 You're just saying what you think you should say. 1754 01:27:04,877 --> 01:27:06,943 I don't even think you know if it's true. 1755 01:27:06,945 --> 01:27:09,379 No, it's you. I want you. 1756 01:27:09,381 --> 01:27:11,848 I'm not a trophy. 1757 01:27:11,850 --> 01:27:15,184 Look, you don't... you don't even really know me. 1758 01:27:15,186 --> 01:27:20,659 You just kind of made me who you wanted me to be in your head. 1759 01:27:21,392 --> 01:27:25,996 Look, is is way more beautiful to watch a rhinoceros 1760 01:27:25,998 --> 01:27:29,935 be a rhinoceros that try to be an elephant. 1761 01:27:34,873 --> 01:27:37,243 What? What are you thinking? 1762 01:27:38,910 --> 01:27:40,812 Like... 1763 01:27:41,180 --> 01:27:43,982 - Uh... - Okay. 1764 01:27:45,284 --> 01:27:48,852 ♪ Some nights I thirst for real blood ♪ 1765 01:27:48,854 --> 01:27:54,291 ♪ For real knives, for real cries ♪ 1766 01:27:54,293 --> 01:27:59,295 ♪ I really miss what really did exist ♪ 1767 01:27:59,297 --> 01:28:03,265 ♪ When I held your throat so tight ♪ 1768 01:28:03,267 --> 01:28:08,071 ♪ And no attempt is made to explain away ♪ 1769 01:28:08,073 --> 01:28:09,473 ♪ Things that really, really ♪ 1770 01:28:09,475 --> 01:28:13,343 ♪ Really, really, really are behind ♪ 1771 01:28:13,345 --> 01:28:14,911 ♪ You can't hide ♪ 1772 01:28:14,913 --> 01:28:17,380 ♪ You can't hide ♪ 1773 01:28:17,382 --> 01:28:21,350 ♪ You can't hide ♪ 1774 01:28:21,352 --> 01:28:23,487 ♪ You can't hide ♪ 1775 01:28:23,489 --> 01:28:25,822 ♪ You can't hide ♪ 1776 01:28:25,824 --> 01:28:28,759 - ♪ You can't hide ♪ - [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 1777 01:28:28,761 --> 01:28:35,165 [♪♪] 1778 01:28:35,167 --> 01:28:36,366 Oh! 1779 01:28:36,368 --> 01:28:43,273 [♪♪] 1780 01:28:43,275 --> 01:28:50,212 [♪♪] 1781 01:28:50,214 --> 01:28:56,952 [♪♪] 1782 01:28:56,954 --> 01:29:00,158 Oh, Kat. Whew. Hey. 1783 01:29:03,128 --> 01:29:05,261 What happened? 1784 01:29:05,263 --> 01:29:07,298 A lot. 1785 01:29:08,867 --> 01:29:10,267 I so wish I told you 1786 01:29:10,269 --> 01:29:12,268 so it wasn't such a true thing right now. 1787 01:29:12,270 --> 01:29:14,403 Yeah, I was I was looking all over for you, 1788 01:29:14,405 --> 01:29:16,939 but not a phone or a car. 1789 01:29:16,941 --> 01:29:19,175 It's actually really fucking difficult. 1790 01:29:19,177 --> 01:29:22,213 I don't know how you used to do it, like, at all. 1791 01:29:29,187 --> 01:29:31,420 Let me see. 1792 01:29:31,422 --> 01:29:39,161 [♪♪] 1793 01:29:39,163 --> 01:29:46,402 [♪♪] 1794 01:29:46,404 --> 01:29:49,906 I had become so deluded from my whacked out, 1795 01:29:49,908 --> 01:29:52,309 hormone addled brain that I've been missing 1796 01:29:52,311 --> 01:29:54,077 this fantastic reality, 1797 01:29:54,079 --> 01:29:58,581 like, this golden sunset like, right here, like... 1798 01:29:58,583 --> 01:30:00,250 - Shut up. - What? 1799 01:30:00,252 --> 01:30:02,352 Shut up. 1800 01:30:02,354 --> 01:30:03,987 But... but I making my big speech. 1801 01:30:03,989 --> 01:30:06,223 Okay, look, look. 1802 01:30:06,225 --> 01:30:08,058 I only have 15 minutes until my parents are going 1803 01:30:08,060 --> 01:30:09,593 to freak if I'm not home. 1804 01:30:09,595 --> 01:30:14,930 So do you want to keep acting like a stupid teen movie scene, 1805 01:30:14,932 --> 01:30:16,465 or do you want to make out some more? 1806 01:30:16,467 --> 01:30:18,468 I want to make out some more. 1807 01:30:18,470 --> 01:30:21,470 - For real? - For real. 1808 01:30:21,472 --> 01:30:29,345 [♪♪] 1809 01:30:29,347 --> 01:30:33,884 ♪ Try, wait ♪ 1810 01:30:33,886 --> 01:30:36,585 ♪ You made your life on everything ♪ 1811 01:30:36,587 --> 01:30:41,090 ♪ Long, fade ♪ 1812 01:30:41,092 --> 01:30:43,960 ♪ You made your life on everything ♪ 1813 01:30:43,962 --> 01:30:48,197 ♪ Try, wait ♪ 1814 01:30:48,199 --> 01:30:51,033 ♪ You mad your life on everything ♪ 1815 01:30:51,035 --> 01:30:55,104 ♪ Long, fade ♪ 1816 01:30:55,106 --> 01:30:59,643 ♪ You made your life on everything ♪ 1817 01:30:59,645 --> 01:31:04,648 [♪♪] 1818 01:31:04,650 --> 01:31:07,149 ♪ Call of forgiveness ♪ 1819 01:31:07,151 --> 01:31:10,920 ♪ I'm like the heal of the hurt ♪ 1820 01:31:10,922 --> 01:31:12,121 ♪ I'm like the only one you tried ♪ 1821 01:31:12,123 --> 01:31:13,523 Hey, guys, didn't see you there. 1822 01:31:13,525 --> 01:31:14,691 It's Kat. 1823 01:31:14,693 --> 01:31:17,493 Uh, welcome to my updated natural, 1824 01:31:17,495 --> 01:31:19,595 everyday makeup tutorial. 1825 01:31:19,597 --> 01:31:21,497 A staple thing is this thing. 1826 01:31:21,499 --> 01:31:22,666 It's called lipstick. 1827 01:31:22,668 --> 01:31:25,237 Like, the thicker, the better. 1828 01:31:26,570 --> 01:31:28,404 Oh, my God, this looks so good. 1829 01:31:28,406 --> 01:31:31,041 Hey, guys. Cy here. 1830 01:31:31,043 --> 01:31:36,011 I'm currently trying out some cool Japanese candy. 1831 01:31:36,013 --> 01:31:40,452 This first one here is called High Soft. 1832 01:31:43,622 --> 01:31:46,458 All right. 1833 01:31:46,725 --> 01:31:48,425 Hm. 1834 01:31:48,427 --> 01:31:50,327 Hey, it's Roxy. 1835 01:31:50,329 --> 01:31:53,196 Today, I'm going to show you some vintage clothes. 1836 01:31:53,198 --> 01:31:55,298 The reason I love vintage clothes is that I feel like 1837 01:31:55,300 --> 01:31:57,567 you get to, like, step into somebody else's shoes 1838 01:31:57,569 --> 01:32:00,269 for the day, you know, and you get to pretend to be them. 1839 01:32:00,271 --> 01:32:02,205 Sometimes I name these people. 1840 01:32:02,207 --> 01:32:04,674 Sometimes I walk around trying to be these people 1841 01:32:04,676 --> 01:32:07,212 So, yeah, let me show you some stuff. 1842 01:32:08,446 --> 01:32:10,080 Wha-ha! 1843 01:32:10,082 --> 01:32:14,017 Hi-hi! Yah! 1844 01:32:14,019 --> 01:32:16,055 Hi-yah! 1845 01:32:17,388 --> 01:32:22,658 I like it. It's like basically caramel. 1846 01:32:22,660 --> 01:32:24,327 And I like caramel. 1847 01:32:24,329 --> 01:32:26,062 I learned this trick from my mom. 1848 01:32:26,064 --> 01:32:28,163 Put this on your eyebrows, 1849 01:32:28,165 --> 01:32:30,733 and it just, like, darkens them a little bit. 1850 01:32:30,735 --> 01:32:34,504 And if you want to go for that, like Frida Kahlo look, 1851 01:32:34,506 --> 01:32:36,372 you just... 1852 01:32:36,374 --> 01:32:37,474 Yeah. 1853 01:32:37,476 --> 01:32:40,443 I love wearing the shirt. I wear it with everything. 1854 01:32:40,445 --> 01:32:43,779 But I also wear with... let's see if you can see this. 1855 01:32:43,781 --> 01:32:47,384 With these pants. You kind of get the gist. 1856 01:32:47,386 --> 01:32:53,089 When I wear it, I feel like an old school executive. 1857 01:32:53,091 --> 01:32:56,459 I feel like I can go and work at a desk 1858 01:32:56,461 --> 01:33:00,130 and tell the boys what to do, and my name is Sarah. 1859 01:33:00,132 --> 01:33:01,764 I don't know why, but when I put this on, 1860 01:33:01,766 --> 01:33:04,067 I feel like Sarah owned this shirt. 1861 01:33:04,069 --> 01:33:06,603 Ha! Hi-yah! 1862 01:33:06,605 --> 01:33:08,237 Ooh! Ahh! 1863 01:33:08,239 --> 01:33:12,474 Second candy I got is just called Premium Milk Candy. 1864 01:33:12,476 --> 01:33:14,376 Approximation of what it will look like. 1865 01:33:14,378 --> 01:33:17,046 I decided I'm going to go on with a darker shade. 1866 01:33:17,048 --> 01:33:19,115 So I'm gonna go on with this one right here. 1867 01:33:19,117 --> 01:33:21,785 This shade is called "I Killed My Mom." 1868 01:33:21,787 --> 01:33:23,353 I use this one every day. 1869 01:33:23,355 --> 01:33:26,255 Just gives me that really nice kind of 1870 01:33:26,257 --> 01:33:28,291 "just punched in the face" look. 1871 01:33:28,293 --> 01:33:30,393 So let me show you some more cool shit. 1872 01:33:30,395 --> 01:33:32,661 I'm using this shade here. 1873 01:33:32,663 --> 01:33:35,465 It's called "starvation." 1874 01:33:35,467 --> 01:33:37,267 Not sure if I'm supposed to suck on this 1875 01:33:37,269 --> 01:33:38,835 of if I can bite into it. 1876 01:33:38,837 --> 01:33:43,175 Ha! Ha! Yah! Ha! 1877 01:33:47,745 --> 01:33:51,514 Aaaaah! Yah! 1878 01:33:51,516 --> 01:33:53,349 Yeah, I think this is a sucking candy. 1879 01:33:53,351 --> 01:33:56,118 You just want to put a little bit of your lipstick 1880 01:33:56,120 --> 01:34:00,156 on your cheeks, and it actually makes it look more natural 1881 01:34:00,158 --> 01:34:02,591 because it's the same shade as your lips. 1882 01:34:02,593 --> 01:34:06,563 I would say that you guys only need like $300 or $400 1883 01:34:06,565 --> 01:34:08,430 to achieve this look. 1884 01:34:08,432 --> 01:34:11,334 Oh, my God, my cheekbones are snatched. 1885 01:34:11,336 --> 01:34:15,638 ♪ You made your life on everything ♪ 1886 01:34:15,670 --> 01:34:18,639 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 1887 01:34:18,677 --> 01:34:20,742 [♪♪] 1888 01:34:20,744 --> 01:34:25,715 [♪♪] 1889 01:34:25,717 --> 01:34:30,589 ♪ You made your life on everything ♪ 134643

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