All language subtitles for Ghosts s02e16 Isaacs Book.eng

"In summary, while
this book may be about

"a forgotten Founding Father,

it is a story that is
truly unforgettable."

Chills.

That was my line.

So, he negotiated the surrender
of Fort Ticonderoga?

Allowing us to
keep our horses.

Which you later ate.

So thank God we had those
horses, is what I'm hearing.

TERRY:
And a couple weeks later he got dysentery and died?

He just doesn't seem like

a "room where it happened"
kind of guy.

Oh, but that's all
you hear about.

But what about the guys
who weren't in the room

where it happened,
but were in the building?

Well...

Or, like, down the street.

That works.

TERRY:
So, you're proposing a book

about a regular guy
who was near some things

and then crapped himself
to death?

Too late to throw that
on his tombstone? (chuckling)

Feels like you're kind of
missing some of the nuance.

The book argues that
this country was built

by regular people.

It took all kinds.

Important white guys,
mediocre white guys...

TERRY:
Right.

Okay.

Well, let me discuss this
internally with my team

and we'll get back to you.

Okay.
Thanks for your time.

(sighs)
Did you all hear that?

Yeah.
Yeah, we did.

An entire team is
discussing Isaac Higgintoot.

That sounds very promising!

* *

SAMANTHA:
Oh, Alberta,

I got your magazine.

No pictures of
Jason Momoa,

but there is
a picture of The Rock

putting out his garbage cans.

Mm, if I put my thumb
over his face

I can pretend.

Did you get anything
interesting to smell?

Ah, not really.

Although, look at these melons.
Beautiful, huh?

What?
ALBERTA: Go on.

Make a disgusting comment
about Sam's melons

so we can all move on
with our day. SAMANTHA: Oh, my God.

I teed myself up, didn't I?

I wasn't gonna
say anything!

I appreciate that, Trevor.

Okay, I will put this
in your room

and I will leave it open
to the right page.

ALBERTA: Okay, The Rock,
let's see what you got.

What the hell was that?
What?

You were given an opening
to say something crude

about Samantha's figure
and you choked?

I mean, the possibilities
were literally endless.

"Boy, I'd like to get
my hands on those melons."

"Can I honey-dew you?"

"Let me tap on those things
to see if they're ripe."

That's just
to name a few.

I just thought,
you know,

since you and I are
hooking up, I-- You thought wrong.

We must maintain
appearances.

If the others notice you
acting differently,

it could arouse suspicion.

We might be found out.

So, you want me
to hit on Sam?

Your great-great-great
grandniece?

Precisely.

But don't be
too gross about it.

You're asking me to walk
a very fine line here. (exhales)

I'm-I'm sorry.
Just-just a minute.

Sam, Jay's floundering
at the front desk.

Just bear with me.

Our assistant
just recently left.

When he was driven screaming
from the premises by ghosts.

(laughing)
We have fun.

Sweetie, do you need
a little help out here? Mm-hmm.

(gasps)
Isabel?

Oh my God, Samantha.

(both chuckling)

Isabel and I went to
journalism school together.

A blast from the past.
This is good clean fun.

I didn't recognize your last
name on the reservation.

Ah. I got married.

Oh.
He's actually coming tomorrow.

I just have this big assignment

and I need some quiet time
to knock it out tonight.

I know how that is.
Trust me, I get it.

But aren't you working
at this bed-and-breakfast now?

Oof, did not love
the tone on that.

Yeah, Jay and I own and operate
this bed-and-breakfast, sure.

Yeah, which
Sippr magazine called

"an underrated gem."

"That you should visit quick
before it goes out of business,"

I believe that was
the rest of the quote.

But I am very much still
in the journalism game.

I actually had some
pieces published recently

in the Ulster County Review.
(hisses)

Wait, I think I read
about this on Facebook.

You, um, got in trouble
for making something up

about a Native American tree?

I had an unreliable source.

Kind of thought
we put this to bed.

Uh, well, we're very happy
you're staying with us.

And we'll have to have dinner
while you're here.

Oh, I would love that.

If I can make some progress
on this article.

Otherwise,
it is room service for me.

Which I guess
you'll be bringing,

so we can say hi then.

Fun!
Yay.

* *

WOMAN (on TV): There's something
you need to know, Gavin.

The baby is not yours.

What?
Oh, my God.

GAVIN (on TV):
Well, whose baby is it?

WOMAN: You're not gonna
believe this, but...

THORFINN:
That's it?

But they did not tell us
whose baby it is.

It's called
a cliff-hanger, Thor.

Why they make us
wait for answer?

Would like to throw TV
writer off cliff.

(shouts)
(TV buzzing)

(grunts, laughs)
ALBERTA: Well...

I guess we're all done
watching TV now.

Fun hang, psychopath.

Thor, we need to talk.

If we're gonna date,

I think you need
to work on your anger.

(chuckling): I mean,
I'm a hippie, man.

I need good vibes.

So, you're saying it's...

entire future of
relationship dependent on

Thor controlling anger?

I mean, that's
pretty intense, but yeah.

I guess I'm saying that.

(chuckles)
But anger...

large part of Thor
personality.

Okay, well, if it's
asking too much,

then I--
What? No! (chuckles)

Thor can change.
Thor not need to be angry.

No worries.

Where do we land on
brutal acts of violence?

Is this also considered
part of anger?

Obviously.

(chuckles)
Right. Same page.

Cool.

Here's that room service
burger for Isabel. Oh, great.

I'll drop it off to her when I'm
finished folding the laundry,

which she brought along because
she's "so busy with work."

I hate a busy brag.

It sounds like a complaint,
but you know it's a brag.

(phone chimes)

Oh, wonderful timing.

It's official, they're
passing on Isaac's book.

Oh, I'm sorry, babe.
(exhales)

And poor Isaac.
He's gonna be crushed.

This was
the last publisher

that would even take
a meeting about it.

How am I gonna tell him?

Just rip the Band-Aid off.
Get it over with.

Also, I read one of
Isabel's articles.

It sucked.
SAMANTHA: Thank you, Jay.

JAY:
And is it me, or is her face kind of stupid?

SAMANTHA:
Too far, but yes, kind of.

Isaac, can we talk?

I just heard back
about the book.

You did?
So-so quickly?

That's a good sign,
right?

Oh, my God.

I'm clearly a nervous wreck
right now.

(chuckles) So I just
need to calm down.

It's just that this is
my legacy, Samantha.

I'll either be relegated to
the trash heap of history,

or see all of my dreams
come true.

So, which is it?

* *

They want to publish it!

They do?
Oh, my God!

Why didn't you lead
with that, woman?

I don't know!
NIGEL: Isaac...

This is incredible.
(laughing)

Huzzah!
Huzzah!

Huzzah!

Isaac's book is
getting published.

Seriously? It seemed
like they hated it.

Well, apparently,
hate it they did not.

In fact,
they're making

a major investment
in my life story,

to the tune of
an initial print run

of one million copies.

Oh, wow.
Oh.

Right, Sam?

(chuckling): Uh-huh.
That is what I said.

ISAAC:
Now, I know some of you are probably worried

about how this might
change things.

But worry not.

You may be long
forgotten by the world,

but you are now friends
with someone who isn't.

I mean, he was tough
to be around before,

but this is unbearable.

ISAAC:
I can't take all the credit.

Samantha did type down
my brilliant words,

and it will be her face
in the little author's picture.

So that's cool.

You know what you should
wear in that photo?

A bikini.

Gross, Trevor.

Agreed.

But what can one expect

from an untethered bachelor,

who's just out there
hitting on anything that moves?

SASAPPIS:
So this is big for you, Sam.

Your first book.

How are your friends
reacting to the news?

Oh, I-I haven't actually
told anyone yet.

ALBERTA:
Sam?

You should be blasting this

all over
that Facebook thing.

Yeah, that's not really
my style.

SASAPPIS:
You posted multiple times

about the banana bread
you made last week.

Yeah, it's just that
this feels a little braggy

to post about.
(chuckles)

What feels braggy to post about?

The book... of mine
that is being published.

The one about Isaac.

Remember?

Are there ghosts
in here right now? SAMANTHA: Yeah.

There-there certainly are.

And we're all celebrating
this big accomplishment,

about which Isaac is
very excited.

As he should be!

Woo-hoo! Ha-ha!
Congrats to you both.

Thank you.

Pete, just the man
I am looking for.

I'm having situation
with Flower for which

you are the only answer.

Okay, once again,
I'm not gonna be your third,

even if it means
just watching.

But how can I help you
otherwise?

Flower not like it
how sometimes I get angry,

and I figured you
could help since

you hardly ever get angry.

Well, I do have a bit
of a system

honed over decades
of dealing with

irate travel agency clients.

I call it my patented
"Take It" method.

Take it?
Yeah, you know,

when someone misses their
connecting flight through Miami,

through no fault of your own,

and they want to lay into you,
you let 'em.

You just take it.

You teach me?

Well, it won't be easy,

but if you follow my lead...

You can make me doormat?

I'll try my darndest.
Yes!

SAMANTHA:
Okay, we're outside the ghost boundary,

so we can talk safely.

What were you thinking, Sam?

What happened to ripping
the Band-Aid off?

He just started going on
and on about his legacy,

and how much was riding
on the book getting published,

and I couldn't do it.

So, you lied to him?
He's gonna find out.

But that's the thing.
Maybe he won't.

I mean, he's a ghost.

Babe...
At most,

we'll have to print
some fake book copies

in a couple of years.

Maybe write up
some bogus reviews.

Photoshop me into a book
signing at a Barnes & Noble.

Do you hear the words that
are coming out of your mouth?

Can't we just
let him have this?

It's victimless.

Isaac will be happy
and nobody gets hurt.

We're on a slippery slope here,

but I guess if
things go south,

you're the only one who's
gonna hear about it.

Thank you.

Well, now that we're
out of the house,

I could really go
for a half-caff frapp .

Want to hit Starbucks?

Oh, yeah, no, that Starbucks
is actually built on the site

of a former hospital
for the criminally insane.

I can't go anywhere near it.
It's a hellscape.

Daisy's Coffee it is.

Flower, thank you
for joining us. Happy to be here.

So, what are we doing?

Well, I've been working
with Thor

to help him manage his anger.

And now it's time
to put that to the test,

with a couple of ghosts who know
exactly what buttons to push

to make Thor angry.

This seems dangerous.

No, Flower,
it's okay.

Thor learned from expert Pete
how to "Take It."

Sass, you're up first.

Hey, buddy,
how's it going?

You know, I was just
thinking about how,

in the latest episode

of It's Getting Hot In Here,
Kevin B. got it on

with Heidi
in the heat suite.

(chuckling):
That was crazy, right?

You...
(chuckles softly)

watched latest
episode without Thor?

Oh, right, I was supposed to
watch that with you, wasn't I?

You got this, big guy.
Take it.

Thor just...

happy for Sass
enjoying show. (chuckles)

Hmm.

Let's talk about cod.

Oh, boy.

It's a very bland fish.

Probably the worst
of all the fish.

That is... perfectly
reasonable opinion.

And what's the deal with
them little girl braids

in your beard?

Did your friends do that
for you at a sleepover?

Each braid represent...

brother I lose in battle.

Well, they look stupid.

(forced laughter)

Hmm.

Well. (chuckles)
There you have it.

Where once stood a man
who would lash out in anger,

now stands a proud man
who sits there and takes it. Hmm.

Wow.

SOREN (Danish accent):
Hello?

(door closes)

Is anyone here?
Who is this?

Fun accent.
JAY: Hi.

Can I help you?

Yes, I am Soren,
husband of Isabel.

Very happy to be here
in your beautiful home.

Oh, thank you.
I'm Jay.

I'm one of the proprietors.
Soren, where are you from?

Oh, well, we live in New York,
but originally from Copenhagen.

Copenhagen.

You're Danish.
That's cool.

(growls, chuckles)

Well, here.
Let me take that.

Let me show you to your room.

(groans softly)

Just to be clear,
there's now a giant

Danish guy spending
the night?

Oh, this should be
interesting.

The ultimate challenge.

ISABEL:
Well, I think you got out of journalism

at such a great time, Sam.

It's so much about clicks
and views these days.

And who's been
nominated for a Peabody,

which I was fortunate enough
to be two years ago, so...

Yeah, that sounds like a--
ooh-- a nightmare.

ISABEL:
Yeah, it's tough, tough to...

manage the pressure
to stay on top.

You know who likes to be on top?

This guy.

Of Samantha that is.
What is wrong with you?

Soren, tell me
about Denmark. SOREN: Oh.

Denmark is beautiful.

I've never been.
We went to Norway once. Mm-hmm.

Thor from Norway.

Mm, Norway sucks.

Yeah, if you've seen one fjord
you've seen them all.

We Danes like to say,
"Drop the R.

It's not Norway, it's no way."
(Isabel chuckles)

Easy, big fella.

Yeah, the Danes are better than
the Norse in every way.

Well...

Norway does excel
at one thing though--

losing to Denmark!

You shut up.
You shut your mouth!

If I was alive, I'd cut your
head off and drink your blood!

(laughs)

Damn it.

Oh.
ISABEL: Oh, my God, Sam,

you're having a book published?

What's that?

ISABEL:
You posted on Facebook.

That's incredible.

Surprise!
(giggles)

We knew you were too proud
to brag on yourself,

so we had Trev go on your
computer and do it for you.

The Other Founding Father:
The Isaac Higgintoot Story.

I've never heard of him.

That's a problem
the next generation of

American school children
won't suffer from.

Why didn't you tell me you were
having a book published?

I-I just didn't want to make
a big deal about it. (chuckles)

Other than posting it, uh,
publicly, on social media.

JAY:
Sam, this has gone too far.

Again, I didn't post it.
The ghosts did.

Which, yes,
is a complication.

But it's also kind of nice.

They thought
I was being too modest

about my accomplishment.

What accomplishment?!

I just meant
as far as they know, Jay.

Look, I obviously

don't want this...
(phone chimes)

Oh, that's so sweet!

What?

My cousin Tina congratulated
me on the book sale.

She's had
a really hard year,

so for her to reach out
about my success,

I mean, it means a lot.
Oh, my God.

You're enjoying this.

No, no. No,
this is about Isaac,

and about making sure that
his feelings don't get hurt.

Uh-huh...
As little as I want to do it,

we have to just
stick to this lie. (phone chimes)

Aw, Mrs. Neugebauer
just commented.

My high school English
teacher. (gasps)

She was the one who told me
that I had a gift.

So this must be, like,
pretty validating for her.

(groans)
This is bad.

Hoo-hoo,
this is real bad.

"This is all thanks
to you, Mrs. N."

It's okay, buddy.
Rome wasn't built in a day.

You know, it took me years to
completely lose my backbone.

You'll get there.

Hey, Thor,
can we talk?

(sighs)

Thor understand if Flower
no longer wants to date.

Thor thought he could
control his anger,

but ultimate test
of Dane in house proved

too much to overcome.

Yeah, about that... I think
you should just be yourself.

It wasn't fair of me to ask you
to change who you are.

Really?

Maybe two people shouldn't be
exactly the same.

Maybe it's good
that we're opposites.

Also, watching you sit there
and act like Pete,

was a real turn-off.

Okay, not too long ago,

you two were begging me
to be your third.

And when you got angry
at that Dane...

I kind of liked it.

So...
(exhales)

you no longer want Thor
to be like Pete?

I really, really,
really don't.

I should be mad,
but I'm gonna "Take It."

I mean, I've never even had
a book published.

Well, keep banging away,

and one day it could
happen to you, too.

Wow, the tables
have turned.

She is so jealous
of you, Sam.

Oh, that is our lot in life.

To be admired is to be envied.

You know, I had a book
written about me, too.

SASAPPIS:
Really?

We're bragging about
Creepy Todd's

self-published book now?
Still a book.

Still published.
I'm grasping, Sass!

So, who is
the publisher, Sam?

Oh, the publisher?

It's Gold Diamond Press.

(chuckling):
How could you forget

the good people who have made
our dreams come true?

Uh, Gold Diamond Press.
ISABEL: Seriously?

We just went to
Terry Stoddard's wedding.

You must know him.

(quietly):
Oh, God. Terry...

ISABEL: Mm-hmm.
Terry...

That was the man we pitched to.
Surely you recall.

I'm gonna text him.
What a small world. (chuckles)

Oh, no, they're actually
trying to keep

this project under wraps.

But you just posted
about it on the Facebook.

You know what?
I'm gonna call him, actually.

Uh, at this hour?

It's 2:00 in the afternoon.

Yes, exactly.

The man has just had lunch, and
he's got those enzymes going.

You're not gonna get
the best Terry if you call now.

And I don't want anybody
to make a fuss over me.

They only do like
three books a year.

They should make a fuss.
Trust me.

He'll be thrilled to
hear from us.

What the hell, Jay?

Don't we all spend
too much time on our phones?

(chuckling): I mean,
can't we just be present?

Okay, what's going on?

They're not
publishing the book.

What?!
What?

I made it up.

No one bought the book.
It's not happening.

Why did you post
about it then? ISAAC: Yes.

Samantha, care to
explain yourself?

I messed up.
I'm sorry.

I...
(clears throat)

...can't believe this.

Isaac, wait!

For another day
till your story is told,

because
I am not giving up! Good save, Sam.

Totally agree with you
on the phone thing, by the way.

I'm always telling her that.

Can we talk?

I want to explain.
Hard to believe

there's an explanation
for that level of betrayal.

At first, I lied because
I felt bad for you.

You just seemed like
you really needed the win

to feel important or something.

And then, later, as I kept up
the lie with Isabel,

I realized that I needed
the same thing.

You needed to feel...
important?

Yes.

I mean, I'm very happy
with my life,

but some people just bring out
the worst in you.

And I didn't want to
let her win.

* *

You know, Samantha, I'm not
sure if you're aware of this,

but I have a bit of a chip
on my shoulder about Hamilton.

I did sense something.

Now, I know what
you're going to say.

"You're both equally
accomplished.

Neither of you
is necessarily winning."

But he does get
a lot of acclaim.

My point is,

is that it seems Isabel is
your Hamilton.

And while that doesn't
excuse your actions...

(sighs deeply)
I do understand.

Isaac, you don't need to have
a book written about you

to be a significant person.

You fought
in the Revolutionary War.

You invented the sniper rifle.

And killed a British officer
with it from a hundred paces.

And then you got that guy
to date you after that.

That is pretty impressive.
And more importantly,

you're a good person
and a good friend,

and everyone in this house
knows that.

So, who cares if history
knows your name?

Because the people who matter
know who you are.

Yes! And we know
who you are, Samantha.

You don't need your name
on a book jacket

to prove anything to anyone.

(chuckles) You know what?
You're right.

I-I did lose
sight of that today,

but I will not forget
that lesson.

We do not need
external validation

to pump ourselves up.
Exactly.

Because we are enough.

Mm-hmm.
(phone chimes)

* *

(gasps) It's the publisher.
What?

They now actually
do want to buy the book.

Really?
Yes!

They-they saw the post
on Facebook and they think

someone else wants the book
and now they want it.

(gasps) Sweet, sweet
external validation.

We're somebody again!
(gasps)

I'm gonna post it
on Instagram

and then "accidentally"
tag Isabel. (chuckles)

ISAAC:
I'm going to live forever.

But in a fun way now!

You did well today.

I think you've redeemed yourself
as a well-known pervert.

Thank you. That's very
nice of you to say.

Look, I know this is
all a little crazy,

but you must trust me
when I say it's best

for both of us that
this remain clandestine.

You're right.
You and me?

People would go nuts.

So... we are in agreement.

No one can ever find out.

If that makes it
hotter for you... (moans softly)

(gasps) Oh!
...I'm on board.

And this completes
your tour of the basement...

Oh, my God!

It's not what you think.

Quick. Say something sexual
about Samantha.

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