Original subtitles

Yes, sir. Today? Absolutely.

I'll see you then. I won't let you down.

Gah! (LAUGHS) Guess what?

You're going to be the youngest astronaut on Mars?

What? No. You just qualified

for the Olympic bobsled team?

What are you talking about, Dad?

You asked me to guess.

Kevin, you know your father is terrible at guessing.

Just tell us.

I just got my first job.

I'm starting today at Short Burger.

Oh, that's so exciting.

It was a super selective process.

Are you human?

Yeah. Well, you're hired.

Sorry.

(BARKING)

Yeah, I want to put a racing stripe on the minivan.

So I thought, why not earn the money myself?

Our young man is so responsible.

First, he has a job,

then soon he'll be moving out and finding a place of his own.

Getting married,

having kids. Will he call us?

No.

(SOBS) But we'll always be in his heart.

Parents are weird.

Tell me about it.

(SOBBING AND SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Hey, newbie. Name's Anthony.

Let me know if you're having any trouble keeping up.

Ah, don't worry. I can keep up.

In fact, I'm planning on being Employee of the Month and getting that $100 bonus.

Um, actually, I'm gonna be Employee of the Month.

Uh, no offense, but I'm gonna wipe the floor with you.

Don't take this personally, but I'm gonna wipe the sink with you

and then shave your head, paint you blue,

and leave you in the polar bear enclosure at the zoo.

Dude. Sorry.

I really took us on a trip there.

But just to be clear, I will win.

MICROMANAGER: (ON PA SYSTEM) Employees 27 and 31,

your production has suddenly decreased.

Is there a problem? BOTH: No, sir.

What is the Short Burger motto?

BOTH: Satisfaction guaranteed.

And? BOTH: Tall Burger must be destroyed.

I can't hear you.

BOTH: TALL Burger must be destroyed.

Hey, we're right here.

MICROMANAGER: Now, let's make some burgers.

BOTH: Yes, sir.

Is he always like this?

Yeah, I've never seen him.

He just barks out orders, and we keep flipping burgers.

Man, that's a stressful work environment.

Why don't you quit?

Oh, no. I see what you're doing.

You're trying to get in my head.

Nothing gets in here.

Nothing.

Well, get this through your head.

That $100 is mine.

Oh, it's on, noob.

(GRILL SIZZLING)

(CRUNCHING)

Can you hand me the remote?

It's like one inch from you.

Not worth the effort.

You know, we haven't fought anyone for a couple of weeks.

And what is your point?

Maybe we should try to stay in shape,

you know, in case another villain comes to town.

(GRUNTS) I don't have the energy to say no.

Four hundred ninety-nine, five hundred.

(GRUNTS) Now with this credenza on your back.

I think that's an armoire.

But okay. I wanna see you sweat, mister.

Hamsters don't sweat.

We slow our metabolism to compensate for an increase in body temperature.

Then I wanna see you slow your metabolism. (GRUNTS)

Are you slowing your metabolism? (GRUNTS)

Because I don't see it.

Well, it's happening on a cellular level, so... No excuses.

Another order down.

I'm going to get that bonus so I can buy that racing stripe.

Dream on, newbie.

I'm gonna spend that cash on a spoiler for my motor scooter.

Who needs a spoiler for a motor scooter?

I do.

I asked my folks for one, but they're too busy

spoiling my little sister to spoil me with a spoiler.

Tell me about it.

My little sister gets a lot more attention than I do,

like, from the whole world.

Well, you seem like an okay guy.

Why don't we say this? May the best man win.

And the second-best man end up in the polar bear exhibit.

How am I supposed to make burgers with this?

MICROMANAGER: (ON PA SYSTEM) New orders.

We have paused burger production,

and will be constructing our new high-tech frying machines.

The instructions are in the box

and the first to finish wins a free milkshake.

That milkshake is mine.

It's mine. Mine.

Milkshake mine! Milkshake mine!

BOTH: Milkshake mine!

(GRUNTS)

♪ Hey, yeah

♪ We're working out

♪ And it's getting extreme Yeah

♪ We're sweating But it's so hot It comes off as steam

♪ We're working out (TRUMPETING)

♪ We're not just standing around

♪ We're lifting big heavy things off the ground

♪ We're working out

♪ Yeah, we're working out

♪ We'll go to any length

♪ We try to balance our routine

♪ With both aerobics and strength

♪ We're working out

♪ Check it I'm lifting this train

♪ We're not trying to bulk up

♪ We're just trying to maintain

♪ We're working out ♪

(SIGHS) I don't know what was harder,

juggling those freight trains

or repairing them when I dropped them. (JOINTS CRACK)

I'm so sore.

I can barely move.

I can't lift my arms above my head. (GRUNTS) (JOINTS CRACK)

You could never lift your arms above your head.

You're too short. Sick burn.

(GROANING)

I can barely fly.

Can you? (GROANING)

I can fly, but only at the speed of wind.

That's just floating.

Potato, po-tah-to.

Maybe Kevin can help.

Come on. Let's just wait for the wind to push us.

(WIND WHOOSHES)

Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

BOTH: Ow, ow.

Well, looks like I'm done. Been done.

Milkshake, mine. Milkshake, mine.

This does not look like a fryer.

Neither does mine.

Maybe it's a milkshake machine?

BOTH: Milkshake mine!

GRETEL: Hello? Anyone in there?

Oh, I totally forgot about the drive-thru.

(ON SPEAKER) Hi, welcome to Short Burger. May I take your order?

Kevin?

Hamster and I did a super workout and we overdid it.

Can you drive us home? We're too sore to fly.

KEVIN: You're too sore to fly?

It uses a lot of core muscles.

KEVIN: All right, that's weird.

But I can't drive you home. I'm working.

That's okay, we'll wait until your shift is over.

Hamster and I can lie on this little strip of grass here.

Oh, he already is.

This is definitely not a frying machine.

Does yours look like a foot?

Mine looks like a foot. We should let the boss know.

Are you nuts?

You never bother the boss.

We gotta tell him they sent him the wrong stuff.

(MACHINE WHIRRING) (GASPS)

ANTHONY: Yeah, you're right.

I don't think a fryer would do that.

It's headed to the boss's office.

If that machine hurts the boss,

then neither of us will get Employee of the Month.

Of course, we're concerned about his safety too.

Yeah, that goes without saying.

MICROMANAGER: You dare to bother me?

Sir, there's a giant machine walking ominously towards your office.

Excellent.

BOTH: What now?

With these parts, we're finally going to bring down Tall Burger.

Um...

Why are you so s... (THUDS)

Ow, what?

Well, what's your beef with Tall Burger?

My "beef"? I'll tell you my "beef."

I was once a starry-eyed employee at Tall Burger.

I wanted to impress the boss.

So I came up with a device to make cute, tiny onion rings.

Tragically, I forgot which end the ray came out and I blasted myself.

And then they fired me.

Because you were so short?

No, because I'm "difficult to work with."

I started my own restaurant

and used my army of poorly-paid teenage employees

to build me this.

Thanks to you, no one will ever disrespect me again.

Now, to destroy Tall Burger.

You're gonna destroy Tall Burger?

(BOTH GROAN)

Duh, it's literally our motto. "Tall Burger must be destroyed."

We thought you were being figurative,

like in the healthy spirit of competition.

Uh, can't you just make better burgers than them?

MICROMANAGER: Surprisingly, this was easier.

Now, behold the Macromanager.

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

Is that what we were building?

I knew I should have assembled this thing outside.

That's going to cost me.

Hey, Gretel. I kind of helped build a giant robot monster guy,

and, um, it's a little complicated,

but I need your help.

Ugh, okay.

Come on, Hamster.

Ow, ow.

HAMSTER: Ow! GRETEL: Ow, ow, ow.

Ow. It hurts to fly.

MICROMANAGER: (LAUGHING) Not so tall now, are you, Tall Burger?

Well, now you know how I feel.

I realize you're a building and you won't feel anything, but I will.

(SCREAMING)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

Oh, look, superheroes.

What a coincidence.

Not so fast.

Giant robot guy.

They look much faster on TV.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING) MAN: No, no, no!

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

(WOMAN SCREAMING)

(SOBS) This isn't worth $7.25 an hour.

(SCREAMING) WOMAN: He spilled my coffee.

BOTH: Ow, ow, ow.

HAMSTER: Ow.

Giant robot guy punch!

(GRUNTING)

Hurts so much.

(GRUNTS) That's not working.

That'll teach you.

Can we lie down now?

Excuse me, I'm trying to take my revenge on this corporation.

Hey, citizens.

We're really tired here. Does it have any weaknesses?

"Weaknesses"?

This handmade armor has been perfectly constructed by teenage boys.

BOTH: Well...

What's a hex bolt?

I've just been using gum.

Good idea.

BOTH: Milkshake mine!

Hey, uh, superheroes.

His left kneecap.

Possibly a weak point, there.

(CLEARING THROAT) The right ankle, too.

Thanks, citizens.

Hamster, let's go. Do we have to?

Come on, dig deep.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

What are you doing? Stop!

This battle robot hasn't been insured yet.

You're going to violate the warranty.

(GASPS)

(SCREAMING) No, no!

Do you think we still get the milkshake?

Milkshake, mine.

BOTH: Milkshake, mine.

Teenagers are weird.

BOTH: Milkshake, mine. Milkshake, mine.

I guess we'll just wait for a breeze.

Wrong way.

We're going the wrong way.

HAMSTER: But okay.

BOTH: Milkshake, mine.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Hamster and Gretel

♪ It's Hamster

♪ Hamster and Gretel ♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0