All language subtitles for 19 - Mr. Dingle, the Strong

You're traveling
through another dimension

a dimension not only
of sight and sound, but of mind

a journey into a wondrous land

whose boundaries
are that of imagination.

That's the signpost up ahead.

Your next stop,
the twilight zone.

Uniquely american institution
known as the neighborhood bar.

Reading left to right are
mr. Anthony o'toole, proprietor

who waters his drinks
like geraniums

but who stands four-square
for peace and quiet

and for booths for ladies.

This is mr. Joseph j. Callahan,
an unregistered bookie

whose entire life is
any sporting event

with two sides
and a set of odds.

His idea of a meeting at
the summit is any dialogue

between a catcher and pitcher
with more than one man on base.

And this animated citizen
is every anonymous bettor

who ever dropped rent money

on a horse race or prize fight
or a floating crap game

and who took out his
frustrations and his insolvency

on any vulnerable fellow
barstool companion

within arm's and fist's reach.

And this is mr. Luther dingle,
a vacuum cleaner salesman

whose volume of business
is roughly that

of a valet
at a hobo convention.

He's a consummate failure
in almost everything

but is a good listener
and has a prominent jaw.

Don't give me
that, callahan.

I don't pay off
on a bum call.

Three umpires call
the man out.

I call
the man out.

60,000 fans call
the man out.

The final score was
pittsburgh 3, dodgers nothing.

You and i got an even bet, pal.

I happened to have the pirates.

You got the dodgers.

So you owe me
five dollars.

The ball was foul
when it hit him

so instead of an out,
it was a foul ball.

So who's to say there wouldn't
have been a man on base?

And when pignatano got a single
a run would have scored.

And furthermore, callahan,

you're nothing but a cheating
insult to the american bookie.

I'll give you five seconds
to take back that innuendo.

Callahan, i told you
once before already.

You start another brawl
in here

and i'm going to fix
that mouth of yours

so any future
drinking you'll do

is gonna be through
a tube stuck in a vein.

Me? Why me?
Tell it to the troublemaker.

The number-one welcher

of all the western states
sitting over here.

His father owes my father from
the second dempsey-tunney fight.

Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?

Mainly on account of
it was a bum call.

Hey, buddy, did you see
the tunney fight?

You remember the referee
with the long count?

The guy was knocked
clear out of the ring.

You could have gone up in the
stands, got a can of beer

engaged in a
little conversation

come back,
sit down in your seat

and the referee still
wasn't finished counting.

Now, i ask you,
how about that?

I ask you,
how about it?

Me?

Yeah, yeah, you.

Did you watch the game
on television last night?

You talk about
bum calls.

Duke snider was up

and it was in
the ninth inning.

Two men were out.

Howard and moon were
on first and second.

And this umpire
with no pupils in his eyes

calls a foul ball an out.
Did you see it?

) as a matter of fact i did
watch the game on television.

Exceptional defensive play,
exceptional.

Abner d-d-doubleday
would have been proud.

Never mind about
abner doubleday.

I'm willing to leave
it up to you.

Was it a foul ball
or was it an out?

It appears to me that the ball
fell into fair territory

and therefore when
striking the ground

and hitting the batter

the rules very definitely state
the batter was out.

You asked the man,
you got an answer.

Of course you
realize, pal

that you're
calling me a liar.

Now, i'm not an
unreasonable man

so i'm going
to give you

one more chance.

Was it a
foul ball

or was it
an out?

Well, it's
my considered opinion...

how's come you got to
always be hitting dingle?

You hit him last week,
you him the week before.

A man can only
stand so much.

I'm tired of this guy
contradicting me.

And when a guy
calls me a liar

there's my honor
to be considered.

Your honor?

You've got nothing
in line in you

from the bottom
of your arches

to where you
part your hair

which is pretty tough
to find.

And when you die

they'll have to screw you in the ground.

Am i crooked?

You got to
believe me.

Am i crooked?

Dingle, dingle,
for once...

for once, why can't
you be neutral?

Am i crooked?

Why don't you tell the man?

Wait a minute,
back off.

Are you serious
about this?

And these two unseen gentlemen
are visitors from outer space.

They're about to alter
the destiny of luther dingle

by leaving him a legacy

the kind you can't
hardly find no more.

In just a moment, a sad-faced,
perennial punching bag

who missed even the caboose
of life's gravy train

will take a short constitutional

into that most
unpredictable region

that we refer to
as the twilight zone.

This man don't know the
first thing about baseball.

If anybody
can tell me

the phillies
deserved

winning the pennant that year

they're out
of their minds.

You sure
we're invisible?

Beyond any doubt.

I wish they were.

You don't have
to do that.

You don't even
have to answer.

Just because he don't like the phillies...

let me tell him.

You have a brain of
your own, don't you?

You have your
own viewpoint.

What did you think of
the phillies of 1953?

Phillies... 1953?

That's right.

That's right,
phillies of 1953.

You ever see such jerky-looking creatures?

And one head yet.

Typical earthmen.

Not really though.
The one in the middle,

the one who just suffered
the physical damage

he may be the one
we've been looking for.

How do you mean?

Silence,
i'm receiving his waves.

Name is dingle, abject coward

does not even possess what earth
creatures call minimum muscles.

Decidedly a sub-physical type.

I think we have
found our subject.

You intend to give him
the additional strength?

We haven't found
anyone weaker, have we?

I believe he will be
an exceptional subject.

Give him around 11 secograms atomic weight.

That should make him
roughly 300 times stronger

than the average
human being.

Yes, i think
that will do it.

We had better contact central laboratories

tell them we have
found a subject.

In other words,
you're telling me

that you thought robin
roberts had more stuff

than clem levine?

Well, to be frank and candid

those two men,
as good as they both are

and all things
being equal...

come on already,
take your pick.

Roberts?

For the last time.

You start one more
roughhouse in here

and i won't let
you come back.

Now, look what
you've done.

How you feeling,
dingle?

C-c-clem l-l-l-levine
was definitely superior.

You see?
All i made him do

was see things
clearer.

I can observe him now.

Let him have it.

How about it, dingle?

How you doing?

Definitely clem levine.

Dingle, would
you mind

a little advice?

Now, the whole world
is full of guys

that are going to get
punched in the nose

no matter who they
pick in a ball game

who they
vote for.

Now, you want
to know my advice

for what you should do

for the rest
of your life?

Just don't talk,
just nod.

Somebody asks you who
you like in the third

you just smile.

Understand, dingle?

What's the matter?

It's very odd.

What's odd?

I... i feel f-f-funny.

Funny?

Yeah.

Wonder what
caused that?

Caused what?

Well, this vacuum
cleaner, it's...

light as a feather.

Not that the machine
isn't right.

No, sir, it's the lightest on the market.

Yes, sir,
i tell you

it's a handy-dandy
piece of merchandise.

Guaranteed to lighten the load
and lengthen the life

of that partner in the home,
th-th-the housewife.

But i didn't know
it was this light.

Dingle, i always
figured you

for a nice guy.

You never caused me no trouble.

Now why all of a sudden
you got to wreck my front door?

Mr. O'toole,
i'm mystified.

I'm absolutely
mystified.

This door seemed to come
right off in my hand.

You here again?

Didn't my old man say

he was gonna punch you
in the nose

if you came around here
bothering us again?

You're quite right.

It's the wrong number.

I was headed
across the street.

Now that's not the best
of all possible manners, is it?

Aw, go peddle your vacuum
cleaners, you creep

and throw me
my ball back.

All right, run out for the pass.

Hey, mister, where'd you learn
to fling a ball like that?

Why, i don't know.
I really don't...

what is happening?

What on earth is
happening to me?

Taxi, taxi, please.
Thank you.

Oh, believe me, this is as much
a mystery to me as it is to you.

They don't make handles like
they used to, do they?

Oh, i'm sorr...

excuse me, miss.

Yes.

I don't want you to
think i'm a masher.

I'm certainly
not a masher.

But would you mind
answering a question?

That depends.

Well, what i mean
is looking at me

in a perfunctory,
cursory first surveil

do i appear abnormal
in any way?

Not at all.

Not unless you plan
to use that in the park.

Oh, that.

Do you know that up
until a few hours ago

i sold those.

Or i went through
the motions.

I was a very
bad salesman.

Miserable.

You know, last week

i only made 89 cents
in commissions.

That was for
an attachment.

It's the
upholstery nozzle.

And i sold it to a drunk

who thought it was
a divining rod for alcohol.

Oh, i fully expect
to be fired

but that is the least of my trouble.

Would you be interested

in hearing the most
of my worries?

Go ahead.

Watch.

You see?

Now, w-w-watch this.

Hey, buddy, i'm a reporter
with thebulletin.

Would you mind doing that again?

With the rock?

That's right.

Incidentally,
what's the gag?

There's no gag, see?

Get another
one of those.

This i got to get
in the paper.

Goodness.

Mr. Dingle, if what
we hear is true

do you realize how much money can be made

on a tour with
our carnival?

Mr. Dingle, this
is a con artist.

Your future lies
in television.

You're the walking,
talking embodiment

of every american male's
wish fulfillment.

You're john q. Citizen.

You're babbitt,
you're tom, dick and harry.

Now here's our idea
for the series.

A simple 15-minute
address by you

with little examples of
your physical prowess.

It's a natural for
breakfast cereals

tonics, vitamin
pills, anything.

And i keep
telling you

you line up
with me

i'll get you some easy setups.

Inside of
eight months

i'll have
you fighting

for the world
championship.

That's so
ridiculous.

Would the people
surrounding mr. Dingle

just get out of
the way, please.

Out of the way.

The camera in there and
that light there and...

hello, there, friends.

Jason abernathy here with your
show, tv probes the unusual.

And our unusual subject today
is mr. Luther dingle

who, if what actual
onlookers say is true

is the world's strongest man.

Mr. Dingle...

mr. Dingle, would you care
to give us an example

of this fantastic alleged
strength of yours?

I'd be ha-happy to.

Is it all right,
mr. O'toole if i...

are you kidding?

I ain't done so much business

since the night they repealed
the 18th amendment.

Be my guest,
mr. Dingle.

First, i'd like to start
with simple things.

Wonderful.

Wait a minute, dingle.

Ain't you ever heard of
bygones being bygones?

That's amazing.

Bravo!

Had enough?

Most inferior.

We give him the
strength of 300 men

and he uses it
for petty exhibition.

Give him 20 or
30 seconds more

then remove the power.

Excellent idea.

And i think
we should be off.

Three planets on
tomorrow's itinerary.

One should be particularly interesting-

contains only females.

And now, ladies...

and now, ladies and gentlemen

i believe the most
unique trick of all

i shall raise this entire
building with my bare hands.

What? Raise
the building?

He can't
do that.

I don't
believe it.

I don't know.

He seems to
have lost it.

He's a fake, that's what he is.

I feel sorry for him.

Poor little guy

he's lost
his belief.

He's a sad little man,
isn't he?

Uh-oh!
Uh-oh!

All right, leave off
of poor dingle here.

Now, come on,
everybody out of here.

Come on, beat it.

Ladies and gentlemen

you have this station's
abject apology.

We didn't realize that it
was a trick... obviously...

well, we're
off the air...

for good, i think.

So long, hercules.

Bring that thing
out of here.

How are you, fellas?

Nice seeing you.

Where are
you from?

Venus. How about you?

Mars. Conducting
experiments?

Yeah,
and you?

Sudden introduction
of strength

to subnormal earthman.

How about you?

Sudden introduction of
extreme intelligence.

Find any interesting
subjects?

That one over there.

He's referred to
as a dingle.

He certainly is
sub-physical.

I wouldn't be surprised
if he's sub-mental, too.

Looks likely enough.

Give him the intelligence quota ray.

How strong?

Make it about...

let's see.

Perhaps 500 times
more intelligent

than the
average human.

Roebuck's ready.

Here's the pitch.

High and outside.

He couldn't hit the
length of the bat.

I'll lay you five
to one he gets on.

Logan? Are you
out of your mind?

Hey, hey, dingle.

What about it?

What will he do?

Various factors are
brought into play here

involving the laws
of probability

interspersed with
the process of calculus

fenaglian laws of chance
and the subdivisional grepple

which is based on
the position of bodies

in mathematical relationship
to other bodies.

Now, in this case,
using the two factors

represented by the
divisions involved

i think that the batter will
unquestionably hit a home run.

A home run by johnny logan.

Holy mackerel!

How about that?

Light.

...two to one.

A tremendous blow over
the left-field fence.

Now, it appears to
me it is apparent

in a
mathematical plan

that the entire
quantum theory

of space and
time relativity

must have been equated
with the parellelian role

of definitive numerical
dialectic algebraic

and must be
further annotated...

exit mr. Luther dingle,
formerly vacuum cleaner salesman

strongest man on earth,
and now mental giant.

These latter powers will likely
be eliminated before too long

but mr. Dingle has an appeal

to extra-terrestrial note-takers

as well as to frustrated
and insolvent bet-losers.

Offhand, i'd say

he was in for a great deal
of extremely odd periods

simply because there are
so many inhabited planets

who send down observers

and also because of course
mr. Dingle lives his life

with one foot in his mouth and
the other in the twilight zone.

Rod serling, the creator
ofthe twilight zone

will tell you
about next week's story

after this word
from our alternate sponsor.

And now, mr. Serling.

A radio.

A carryover from that other era

when quiz shows
went up to only $64

and entertainment was aimed
only at the ears.

Mr. Charles beaumont
has given us

a most unusual story
called "static."

We invite you to watch
mr. Dean jagger

fiddle with a few of these
knobs, change a few stations

and find a couple of programs

that are broadcast
only in the twilight zone.

Captioned by media access
group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org

see the newandy griffith show
each week

over most of these stations.

Consult local listings.