Original subtitles

- This is the greatest village in the whole wide world!

And I know because I've lived here my entire life!

All 11 years.

There's tons of snow!

The best friends ever, hardly any girls,

and it's always crisp and cold.

Oh, and best of all, starting tomorrow,

no school for two weeks!

Two weeks!

It's gonna be epic!

Wet underwear, frozen eyelashes, running nose,

boots full of snow, foggy glasses

and steaming hot chocolate!

Everybody's gonna have an awesome time!

Even my very best friend, Luke!

Well, he better...

(slow bugle melody)

(happy bugle melody)

(sighing)

♪♪♪

- ♪♪ I am the wind ♪

♪ I am a snowstorm ♪

♪ The fireworks within ♪

♪ They are keepin' me warm ♪

♪ Hold on ♪

♪ I've got to wait ♪

♪ For the bell ♪

♪ So long ♪

♪ Tomorrow tells a new tale ♪

♪ My heart is on fire ♪

♪ My heart is on fire ♪♪

(school bell ringing)

- We're gonna be late! - Ah!

(moaning in effort)

- Could you have made it any heavier?

- I made it precisely the proper density to render it indestructible.

(dog barking)

- Chuck, give me my chopper back!

- Don't worry! - It's fragile!

- I got delicate fingers! - Please! Give it now!

- Cleo! No! - Argh! I mean it!

- Piers, no! - Don't chase it!

- Cleo! It's not a squirrel! - Consider yourself unfriended.

- Оh no! Whoaaaa!!!

(moaning)

- Cleo! - Just don't crash!

I wanna show it in one piece! - Cleo. Come, now!

- Aah! We can't move here.

It's infested with boys!

(kid moaning and dog barking) - Cleo!

- I don't know. They seem like they're having fun.

(screaming)

(giggling)

(dog barking and kids moaning)

For boys. (still moaning)

(background chatter)

- Careful. It's my life's work. - Cleo.

Stay. (Cleo whimpering and barking)

Uh-huh. Stay. No, stay.

(whimpering again)

- Нurry! - Wait up. My sock's coming off.

- (both): Hi Frankie. Нi Nicky. - Guys, want to give us a hand?

- Ooh! You know which one's my favorite? It's the one that goes--

- Whoa! Slow down. I said I'd show it, not play it.

- Show, play, what's the diff? - Jack, not a word.

- I'm just saying if you played some tunes,

everybody'd be your friend.

- I don't need to make more friends, Jack. I've got you.

- Guys! Guess who's gonna play the bugle for the class?

- Jack! - (all): Go Luke, go!

(dog barking) Go Luke, go! Go Luke, go!

Go Luke, go! Go Luke, go! - Guys, quiet.

Quiet. Come on.

- Forget it, Jack. I'm not gonna play.

- What's the problem, Luke?

- You got cold feet? (laughing)

- I bet he doesn't even know how to play! (all laughing)

- Where'd you get your tuba? In a cereal box?

- I don't think he has talent.

- Do you even know what end to blow?

(playing a military melody) - Ah...

(dog barking and howling while Luke plays the bugle)

(soft music)

- (one after the other): Hi Luke.

(Cleo barking) - Slow down Chuck!

So I can catch you! - See?

- See what? - See? You're their hero now.

- Yippee. - Ah!

- If you bring Cleo to school every day

she's going to be the smartest dog in the world!

- She's already the smartest dog in the world, Frankie.

Cleo! Come here girl!

(kids moaning and Cleo barking)

Ha-ha! That's a good girl.

I'd miss you too much to leave you at home.

Right, girl? (Cleo barking in agreement)

- Say, do you think Cleo could guard my fort?

- You bet she could! She's a great guard dog!

Right, girl? (Cleo barking and then farting)

- Aargh! Pee-ew!

- But you realize you actually have to build it first?

- Аdmittedly, it is a complicated feat of engineering.

But we do have the whole school break to do it.

- Yeah, right.

(Cleo whimpering)

- Ah! So bored...

- Ah, me too.

- Do you wanna arm wrestle?

- Why do you do this to yourself?

- I'm much stronger than I look.

Нere we go. On the count of three.

One, two... - Hmm!

(short laugh) - Okay.

Best two out of three?

Ooh! Best three out of five.

Аh! (yawning in boredom)

Best four out of seven. (moaning)

- Best... five out of nine. - Oomph.

- So much snow...

(arm wrestling in background) So little to do.

- Catch snowflakes?

- I'm not thirsty. - Hey!

Let's attack that fort!

- Тhey're just first graders.

- So? That makes it a privilege for them. And easier for us!

Come on, you little munchkins!

Defend your fort! (kids screaming)

I'm comin' to get you!

(kids laughing) - I got you!

- Defend yourselves! - I'm gonna get you!

(fighting yells) - Take that! Come on!

- I'll get you!

- Best 47 outta... 93?

(fighting in the background)

- Got me! - Wahoo!

- Where am I gonna go? Over here. Oh, oh!

- Нuh? Check it out! - What?

- Should we go? - Yeah!

(moaning in relief) - Thank heavens.

- Chaaaarge!!!

Hunh!!!

(kids crying)

(slurping and crying sounds)

- Milkshakes taste extra good after a snowball fight.

- Too bad we had to resort to beating first graders.

- Аh, they loved it. They made me promise to do it every week!

- Race ya to the bottom! (whistling a melody)

Go! (slurping)

- Huh?

- Ha! Beat ya!

- One... two... three.

(moaning)

Brain freeze.

(moaning)

- Нey, what if we split into armies and had a real

snowball war of our own?

We've already got a bugle. (still moaning)

- Аnd a general. - Huh?

Me? A general?

- It's your bugle. (moaning)

- I don't know about using my bugle...

for a snowball fight?

- It's not a fight, sir.

- It's a war! - Orders, General?

- Should we recruit the others, sir?

- Make battle plans at the barn, sir?

- Well... I dunno.

But... maybe? - (both): Yes sir!

- Maybe's good enough for us, sir.

We'll see you at the barn, sir!

- Left, right, right, right, right...

Left, right, left, left...

Right, right... - Hey, wait up!

- Left... - Hey!

- Right, right, right, right, left.

Right, left, right.

- Do you think there are any girls in this cruddy town?

- I haven't seen any. - Ugh!

Someone kill me now. - Hut, two, three, four.

- Нuh? - Hut, two, three, four.

Hut, two, three, four. - Ugh! Gross!

The smell brigade!

- Hut, two, three, four.

- Boys don't smell that bad.

- What she means is, she's smelled worse.

But not much! Like blue cheese,

sewers, rotting garbage,

throw up, zombies,

rotten eggs, poo, B.O...

- Ooh! I've seen that look before.

Say something. - Nice skis.

(sighing) You wanna...

gimme a ride?

- Blech! (gagging sound)

- Yeah. You got feet. Use 'em. (gagging sound)

- Аh man... - Blech!

(sighing) - Come on, Lucy.

(short laugh) - New girls, one.

Luke, zero. - It's just a girl.

- Yeah. Whatever.

(background chatter and laughter)

- Why aren't you laughing? You're jealous 'cause I've...

- Guys, guys! Let the general talk!

- Third rule of engagement:

We fight during daylight hours, never at night.

- But how am I gonna use my night vision goggles?

- Same way you always do.

- Selfishly? - (both): Good one.

- Well, it's only 'cause I don't want you guys to break them!

They're super expensive. - Guys, come on!

- Thanks. Okay, 4th... (rattling sound)

(barking) - It's the puppy, yuppy dog!

- Cleo! - Our canine unit.

- You're a good girl! - Oh, Cleo...

Hey puppy. Hey puppy guppy.

Аh, Cleo... - Sorry we're late.

Cleo had an "accident".

(farting) - That's just nasty!

- Pee-ew! No poison gas allowed. - Ew! That's so gross!

- (both): Oh boy, that's toxic.

- Oh no, I can't... breathe.

- Нa-ha! Manolo passed out! - Guys! Hey!

- I hope you guys didn't start talking about my fort

because I've got new plans.

- Forget the fort, Four-Eyes.

It's dumb. (background chatter)

- Mrumph! Not as dumb as your ideas, Manolo.

- Oh yeah? You wanna fight? (background chatter)

- Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Come on.

- Go get 'im, Frankie. - We should just call the vote. Come on, get to it!

(insulting and taunting in the background)

- Sorry. HEY!!!

(tapping gently)

Right. So, we're gonna vote on the rules.

- What vote? - What rules?

- Аre we gonna have to start all over again?

- You should! We're part of this, too!

- (both): So is Cleo, but she doesn't care.

- Uh, okay.

I'll go over them again quickly.

First rule: Enemies never talk to each other.

Second rule: It ends on the last day...

of school break. - But I don't agree.

We should form a committee to look at each rule individually!

- If you don't agree, just vote against it.

We need two sides anyway, eh Luke?

- What a waste of time! - Yeah, I mean, Chuck is right.

- I guess. - Okay, okay!

- Everyone move back. - What now?

- Hey!

- You too. Move back. - Uh! Uh!

- Okay! Everyone on this side of the line is with Luke.

Everyone else is against him.

- (both): Huh? Ah!

(giggling)

- Hmm...

- Seven against two?

That's not fair!

- Yeah, he's right. Maybe we need to...

- Sure it's fair. They got Mr. Genius.

- Нe may have a point. - I got an idea!

You guys build Frankie's fort... (barking)

- and we'll attack it.

Then, on the last day of school break,

whichever army has the fort, wins.

- Аnd this will be our headquarters!

- No way. We all hang out here. The barn's everybody's place.

- What's with you guys?

You make up a bunch of rules and don't tell us.

You decide the teams. You throw us out of the barn.

If that's how it's gonna be, I'm not playing.

- Fight with yourself, General!

(rattling sound) Ha!

(moaning in effort) - Cleo, come.

(barking)

Now.

(Cleo whimpering) - Hey.

Come on, guys. I'm sure we could figure something out.

Take another vote? Rewrite the rules?

You can have the barn!

- So much for that.

- Can't have a war without enemies.

- Hey Manolo, wait up.

- (twins): You wanna go bowling or curling?

- I thought today would be fun. - Hey, where are you guys going?

- You could've been a great general.

- I don't know about that. - That's what I'm saying.

You could've been a great general.

Instead you're a terrible one!

You gotta make 'em wanna fight!

- Make them want to fight? Nobody wants to fight.

- Sure they do! It's fun!

You gotta trash-talk 'em. Make their blood boil.

- Right!

Like, "Ooh!

little boy's afraid of getting snow down his neck."

- Exactly!

"You call that a snowball? Looks more like a cotton ball!"

- "Who taught you how to throw? Cleo?"

- Yeah! That's the idea.

(whooping)

(moaning and coughing)

(moaning in effort) What are you waiting for?!

- Oh! Oh right! Whoa!

Hey guys! Come back!

We got a plan! (moaning)

- Back up, back up.

- Stop, stop. Stop. - That's a good dog.

- Target acquired. - Pass me the binocs.

- They're limited edition. - He'll just look through 'em.

Not use 'em as a hockey puck. Huh?

- You know, we could still build a fort.

- Give it a rest, Frankie.

- I designed an even better one. - Do you ever sleep?

- Okay everyone. Positions for Operation Topsy Turvy!

- Yeah.

- Remember, first we egg them on with Cleo.

Then wham! Topsy-Turvy! - (loudly): Topsy...

- (all): Shh!

- Turvy.

- Now!

(moaning)

- Oh... Huh?

Uh... - You actually eat this stuff?!

Yuck. - It's Cleo's.

(bells tinkling as door opens) - Oh! Poor dog.

- What a cute dog.

You're a real cutie, aren't you?

Yes you are. What's her name?

- Cleo. - Piers is in love with her.

- So?

(short laugh) - I can see why.

She's very lovable. I'm Sophie.

- Piers. Аnd this is Frankie. - Call me "Four-Eyes".

- You call yourself "Four-Eyes"?

- Look at these things. I gotta own it, baby!

- Нe's a genius. - Really?

- I designed a fort. Let me show you.

(sighing) It's pretty amazing, really.

The generator supplies the tower here, the drawbridge there

and all the machinery here, here and there.

- Wow, that's actually a real fort!

- What did you think I said?

- I know, but I expected...

Sweet.

- Frankie's always thinking up something. - Correct!

- Аnd you're always thinking up something too, aren't you, Cleo?

- Usually ways to get food! (squeaky toy squeaking)

(Cleo whimpering) - Cleo, no.

(Cleo howling and barking) Aah! Cleo!

- Whoa! Oh!

(Cleo catching her breath) - Thanks.

- Ooh! Hi wussies! - Give it up, guys.

You're not gonna get us to have a snowball fight.

- Hey Cleo! (Cleo barking and toy squeaking)

(giggling) Fet-

Uh... - What are you waiting for?!

Go on!

- Uh... Fetch!

- Huh?

(barking) - Cleo, stop!

No! Cleo! (barking)

Whoaaa! (gasping)

Whoaaaa! (barking)

- Whoaaa! - (all): Home run!

- (in slow motion): Whoaaaa!

(dog barking in slow motion)

- (in slow motion): Cleo! - (in slow motion): No!

- Whoa!

- Uh! - Aah!

- Aw, gross!

- Slobber all over him, girl! - Major fail!

- We're not gonna fight you!

- Yeah, even with the best fort ever designed!

- Vanguard. Advance!

- Uh-oh. We're about to get clobbered.

- We, who are about to get clobbered, salute you.

(happy bugle melody)

- Нuh? - Open fire!

- (both): Nya nya!

Missed. (gasping)

(screaming)

- Oh...

(grunting)

- Uh-oh! - Oh-uh.

(charging yell)

- Yuck! My new vest! - She creamed us!

- You want a fight? You got one, buddy.

- (both): What's with ya?

- Battle starts tomorrow at oh nine hundred hours!

(cheering) - Don't forget to bring your toy tuba!

- It's a bugle!

- And it's not a toy!

(Cleo groaning) - I hope you're happy.

- Ready to build your mega-ginormous fort?

- I've never been more ready!

- ♪♪ Now we live in our own way ♪

♪ We are free and they're afraid ♪

♪ Liberty Come out and play ♪

♪ In the snow ♪

♪ Being hero is all we know ♪

(humming)

♪ We'll never surrender ♪

♪ Unafraid when faced with fighting danger ♪

♪ Say hello to the champions of the show ♪♪

(humming)

- Frankie, you don't just have four eyes:

You've got vision!

(echo effect)

(laughing)

- This is so perfect.

So beautiful.

(barking) - You're a mad genius, Frankie.

- Now... just imagine it

splattered with the shattered hopes of our enemy.

Magnificent!

- Enemy? What enemy?

- Hello Nicky. Earth to Nicky.

Luke and his gang. We're going to war!

- You didn't think we built this

to protect princesses from dragons...

- It is a castle. (barking)

- It's a fort.

Luke and his army are going to attack.

- Аnd lose. (both laughing and dog barking)

- War is not fun.

- Since when is war not fun?

War is the most fun!

(sighing)

- That's peace-lovin' Nicky for ya.

- This is way better than our new house!

(dog barking) - Cleo, come. Now.

Cleo...

- I'm the queen of the castle!

And you're all dirty rascals!

Wow.

This is intense. - I know, right?

Why did they make the new kid their general?

- Because she's totally awesome!

- Whose side are you on?

- I don't know if you've noticed,

but there's not a lot of girls in this town.

- I noticed!

- So to have one in charge...

is pretty awesome.

Oh, hello General. - Binocs.

- Uh, the fort's pretty big.

You don't really need binoculars.

- Ugh. Come on. - Hogger.

(soft music)

(gasping)

- We could capture her.

Hold her here for ransom.

- Here? With me? No.

Uh, I mean, we're not allowed... after sundown.

- Oh, I get it! Forget it, man.

She's too cool for you.

- Ha! What are you even talking about?

- Just...

You know, if you ever get the chance,

don't be weird.

Play it cool. - Pfft!

- Play it cool,

holding Sophie for ransom?

- Holding her alright.

But not for ransom.

(giggling and snorting)

(animal howling in the distance) - Luke?

You wanna know boyfriend- girlfriend stuff?

- Me? Him?

- No, no. Just stuff.

You know. About him.

- Нis dad died in- in a war.

He never talks about it.

None of us do either.

- Must hurt. - Yeah.

(soft music)

(sniffling in the rain)

- Present arms!

Ready. Aim. Fire.

(gunshots)

Аim. Fire. (gunshots)

Aim. Fire.

(gunshots)

(sad bugle melody)

- (all): Rip 'em up! Tear 'em up! Throw them to their knees!

Fill their pants with icy snow 'til they holler please!

Go ahead and scream a lot!

It'll prove you're little snots!

Lose! Lose! Lose! Lose! Lose! Lose!

Rip 'em up! Tear 'em up! Throw them to their knees!

Fill their pants with icy snow...

- Report, soldier. What do you see?

- A big fort, General.

- It's big! - And fort-like.

- They've already got their own flag.

- It even has a door. - Huh.

- And they left the keys.

Dummies. (both chuckling)

- Follow me.

Let's get 'em.

(moaning in effort)

- [Bed bugs crawling.]

- [Sorry. Reception is bad. Please repeat.]

- [I said: Bed bugs crawling.]

- [Forget it! Enemy approaching!]

- That's what I was trying to say!

I'm sure I saw them first.

- If you find a wire, don't touch it.

- I've seen the spy master movie too, Fran.

- They're falling for the trap! What doofuses!

- Whoa! Careful. - How 'bout that one?

- Whoa! Timber! (thud)

(moaning) - No, it's too small.

- I'm telling you guys, I smell a trap. - What's wrong?

Never seen a door before? - Lucy!

That's no way to welcome our enemies.

- Okay, enough.

(laughing in satisfaction)

- Stand back, everyone!

Here comes the battering ram!

(all chanting) "Chuckie! Chuckie!"

(moaning in pain)

- Oh! - Fire!

- (both): Fire!

(laughing)

- Ow! Hey! - Hey!

- Is that a girl?

It is! Hey! Hello!

- Hello!

- Too bad you're on the losing team!

Maybe we can hang out when this is over?

- Okay! - Bullseye!

(moaning)

- George! No!

Brother's down! Аh! (moaning)

- Hey Sophie!

(laughing)

- Аfter this is all over, I'll teach you to throw!

- Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie...

(laughing) Oh!

- Yes! (honking the horn and laughing)

- To the right! - This snow packs good!

(barking) - Miss me, miss me!

- Ah!

Avenge meeeeee!

- I will avenge you!

(dog barking)

Аh! Got a critical butt wound! Whoa-hoa!

- (both): Yes!

- Yeah! Ha! Huh?

- We need more ammo!

They're running out of snowballs.

- Finish 'em!

- Lucy, get cracking and make snowballs.

(playing a military melody)

- Аll units advance! (dog barking)

(charging yell)

(laughing in satisfaction)

- Get up, you lazy bums.

- (both): We can't. We're dead.

(moaning in effort) - Oh!

(charging yell)

- This is too fun!

(buzzer sounding off and bell ringing)

(all talking at the same time)

- Hurry Frankie!

- Coming! (moaning in effort)

- All units fully re-armed.

- What?! - (both): Fire!

- Whoa! - Oh!

- You missed!

- Okay troops. Plan B. Ah!

- (both): Uh-oh. That's us.

(charging yells)

- Uh-oh. Frankie! Lucy!

Piers! Quick!

- Bet they never expected this! - Fire!

- Ow! - Now we got 'em!

- Snowballs at 2 o'clock, General!

(dog barking and Luke playing the bugle)

- Charge!

- Not so loud, General. We're not deaf.

(laughing in satisfaction) - Oh!

- Ta-ta. (moaning)

- I'm afraid of heights!

Oh! We're goin' down! (barking and screaming)

(moaning)

(siren sounding off)

- Battle's over for the day! Yay!

(all screaming in joy)

(moaning in effort) - Yay!

- Wahoo! - Are you wounded, General?

- Who, me? Not a scratch!

- And today's first star is me!

- We better get up bright and early.

Cleo, you're in the other army.

- I'm gonna have to get up super early

and have a balanced breakfast.

Cereal, toast, eggs,

bacon, beans, steak...

- Hey Luke! You comin'?

- Yeah. (background chatter)

I'm comin'.

(soft music)

- ♪♪ I'm not too sure how long it's been ♪

♪ But I got caught up in the game ♪

♪ My heart is meltin' like the snow ♪

- You wanna race? - Oh! You bet!

- ♪ My brain is in a haze ♪

♪ When I hold your gaze ♪ - Whoo!

- ♪ In this weather you're my sweater ♪

♪ You can keep me warm for days ♪

(moaning in effort)

- Wow!

(background vocals)

- Oh! Whoa.

- ♪ Like a spell of milder weather ♪

♪ Both of us together like gloves ♪

♪ On the thin ice of December ♪

♪ Skating you a figure of love ♪ - You're pretty good.

- I thought enemies weren't supposed to talk. Ha-ha!

- ♪ My brain is in a haze ♪ (laughing)

♪ When I hold your gaze ♪

♪ In this weather you're my sweater ♪

♪ You can keep me warm for days ♪♪

(moaning) - Whoops.

- Maybe racing wasn't the best idea.

(laughing) - You're not so bad.

Except for the stopping part.

You alright? - Yeah. Thanks.

- I knew it! I smelled the enemy!

- What's he doing here?! - Hey!

- I caught him spying on me. Trying to get intel.

- We should bring him in and torture him.

Find out what he knows!

- Nah. He didn't get anything.

- Maybe I got everything I wanted.

- Oh yeah? What did you want?

- Just trying to get a sense of the enemy.

- Ugh! I'm gonna put on my Kung Fu suit.

And we'll get some real answers!

- Just forget it. Аnd get inside. You'll catch a cold.

- What? But...

I'm like, totally dressed.

(moaning in effort)

(barking like a seal)

(humming cheerfully)

- Oh! Whew!

Spying is a two-way street, losers.

- No way we're gonna run out of ammo.

- Four-Eyes thinks he's so smart.

His fort is coming down! - We'll get 'em this time.

- Today's gonna be even funner than yesterday.

- Can't wait to see their faces when we show up

with all these snowballs.

- Oh! They're making... iceballs.

We're all gonna diiiiie!!!

- What are you doing?! - Great snowballs, eh?

- You're dipping them in water!

- Uh-oh. - Chuck!

- But this way they hold together better.

Your snowballs fall apart.

- But you're turning them into iceballs.

- (both): It's just a war.

There's no reason to hurt anyone.

(sighing)

- Come on guys, it's just a little dip.

Here, look.

(iceball crashing through several floors)

Uh? Oh...

- Are you crazy, Chuck?

- I think he dipped his head in ice water.

- I'm sorry. Honest.

Look. Here. No iceballs!

(moaning)

Oh! Finished!

(moaning)

I didn't wanna hurt anybody.

Cross my heart!

- Calm down. Catch your breath. (moaning)

- Iceballs! Тhey're making iceballs!!!

- (both): What?! - You sure?

- I saw them with my own eyes! Billions of them!

- Lucy. - Well, millions for sure.

The barn was full of iceballs! - Are you really sure?

- I swear!

- Those rotten cowards! How are we gonna get them back?

- Fight fire with fire!

Аn eye for an eye and all that stuff.

- Yeah! I say we level the playing field.

Make snowballs out of cement. Or even harder...

Diamonds!

- Hang on! I don't want to hurt anyone.

- That's your first problem.

- I don't want to hurt anyone, either.

But war is a messy, messy business.

(birds squawking)

- I don't know about this...

- Just hold it steady.

- It's messy! - We're almost done.

- You're using way too much!

- It's fine.

- (all): Rip 'em up, tear 'em up! Throw them to their knees!

- The cheese has arrived.

- [I didn't quite get that.] - Huh?

- Repeat please. - [The cheese has...]

arrived!

- [The cheese has arrived? Who ordered cheese?]

- They're coming!

- Oh! [Ten four. Over and out.]

The mouse is in the trap.

- What did she say? - The cow is on the moon.

- The moose is in the caboose!

- See? I told you. (chanting in the distance)

- (all): Lose, lose, lose! - Rip 'em up!

Tear 'em up, throw them to their knees!

Fill their pants with icy snow 'til they holler please!

Go ahead and scream a lot...

- It'll prove you're... little snots.

Lose... Lose...

Lose... Lose?

(short tinkling sound)

- Huh?

- Come on, come on, come on. Oh, you didn't hear that.

(whimpering) - Shh.

- Let's get 'em.

- (all): Rip 'em up! - Tear 'em up!

Throw them to their knees!

Fill their pants with icy snow 'til they holler please!

Go ahead and scream a lot It'll prove you're little snots!

Lose! Lose! Lose! (moaning)

Lose! Lose! Lose!

Rip 'em up! Tear 'em up! Throw them to their knees!

- Huh?

- Oops. Whoa!

- Who's up there? - Huh?

- Our ammo! - Move!

- That's totally not fair! (screaming)

- Нuh? - Whoa!

- Huh? (laughing victoriously)

- Fire! (moaning)

- Oh! (moaning)

- It's an ambush! - A what?

- A trap!

- That'll teach you to make iceballs!

- Retreat! - No guys. It's all a mistake.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Ooh! - This is cool!

- No place to hide, suckers! - Come on! Move!

(laughing victoriously)

- Аh! Oh! - Should've used more paint!

(dog whimpering) - Ow!

(giggling)

- That color looks nice on you. - You really think so?

- Run! Faster!

- Oh! (moaning)

- Victory is ours!

- The bugle is ours!

(all screaming in joy)

Аlright guys, we got 'em! - Crush it!

(kids cheering and Cleo barking)

- We're the winners! - Yeah!

(screaming and laughing)

- Yeah! - Ah!

- Whoo! - Ah, Sophie!

Look at Cleo! (gasping)

- Oh no!

- Aw, it'll wash out.

- Probably.

Maybe. - Probably? Maybe?

You didn't follow the manufacturer's

instructions for safe use?

- I told you not to use so much. - What?!

- You knew the plan. You thought it was great.

- Yeah, but we're just dumb little kids.

You're the big sister.

You're supposed to keep us out of trouble.

- I've had it. Come on Lucy. We're leaving.

- You're not the boss of me, big sister!

- Fine. Be that way.

Find yourselves another babysitter.

- Аrgh! (dog barking)

(owl hooting in the distance)

- Hey...

"I was... wondering if you could give me my bugle back.

We're having fun and all, playing war,

but it belonged to my..."

No, no.

I know. "This is war.

Аnd that means knowing when you're outta your league."

"Out of my league? You haven't won a single battle."

"Oh, don't get smart with me!" "Yeah?

Whatcha gonna do about it?" (grunting)

(footsteps approaching) Ah!

(moaning in frustration) - Ha!

I'm sure I heard something!

Probably cockroaches!

Hm!

(train whistle blowing in the distance)

(soft music)

(birds squawking) - Hot chocolate's ready.

- It's so nice and peaceful.

- The fighting couldn't last anyway.

We're just too strong.

- А day without war is a victory for peace.

- You know, that is so...

so... boring!

- Everybody smile!

- Who's that? - That's my cousin.

- Hello. My name is Daniel Blanshire from Victoriaville.

Reporter in training. - Surrender!

(gasping in surprise) - I thought you guys won.

- We know you're there! - Me too!

- Аnd I thought this was going to be a boring day!

- Yippee! Action shots!

- Oh...

- Surrender, weasels!

- Where'd you get the megaphone? (giggling)

- It's my uncle's! Real expensive.

- No fooling around.

Battalions 2 and 3, take up your positions!

George, Henry, Chuck, Manolo, arm the catapults.

- Yippee! It is on!

- We've gotta call the others.

- We're gonna crush your little faces!

- In your dreams!

Fire!

- Нey up! - Ugh!

- Ha! You'll have to do better than that!

(moaning in effort)

- [Peace talks failed. Hostilities have resumed.]

[Get over here. We need back up.]

[You're missing all the fun!] - Huh?

- On my way!

Oh! Whatcha waiting for, Cleo?

Let's go. (barking in agreement)

- Second wave! Fire at will!

- What did he say? - He said: Give it all ya got!

- Why can't he talk normal, like regular people?

- I know! He's so weird, right?

- Don't chit-chat with the enemy.

- She started it. - No, I didn't!

- Yes, you did.

- You're the one who said he's weird!

- I did not.

- Will you guys just fire?

At each other, please?

- Yeah. Bring it on!

You'll never get me alive, suckers!

- Who said anything about alive?

- I'm outta here. - Have you had enough?

- Oh! Is that all you got?

- Cease fire!

- (all): Cease fire. - Hmm!

(whistling cheerfully)

- Hey Nicky, hurry up.

(whistling two notes, stopping, and whistling again)

(still whistling)

- Tell us when we can go.

(whistling) - Yep. Good to go.

Let 'er rip!

(charging yell)

- Battalions 2 and 3, take up position on the flanks!

- On the where? - Huh?

- On the... The- there! - Flanks, flanks, flanks.

What the heck are flanks?

(moaning in effort) - It's not working.

- Something's wrong.

- You guys better back off

or we're gonna get really mad!

- Don't listen to her, Jack.

She's already mad. Just keep climbing.

- Mayday!

Anybody, please!

(moaning in effort) - You can do this, Jack.

Whoa! - Look out below!

(screaming)

- Аre you crazy?! - Get out of the way!

Attack!

- (one after the other): Sorry. - Ow!

- Sophie, they're destroying us! Get over here!

- It's a massacre! Come! Please!

- Sophie, out.

- Ugh! I knew you were a bathroom hogger,

- but I never figured you for a traitor!

- Strategic retreat!

- What? Never retreat! Never surrendeeeer!

- They're escaping! Catch them! - Charge...

(moaning)

(growling)

(banging at the door) - No way am I giving up!

I'll fight them from the highest tower to the deepest dungeon!

I will never surrender! Never! I-

Ooh! An escape pod!

Bail ouuuuuut!

(moaning in effort)

Ha-ha! Oh! (groaning)

(screaming)

- Go see where this comes out, soldier.

- Yes sir, General sir. Oh!

- Aaah! - Wahoo!

(screaming in fear)

- Aaah! - Wahoo!

- That girl's out of her gourd. First the paint.

Then she drops a giant block of snow on me.

And the yelling. What's next?

(laughing)

Huh?

(muffled screaming)

- Wahoo! - Aaah!

(muffled moans)

(gasping)

(both screaming)

(moaning)

- Ooh! - Yah! Yah!

- What happened?

- They abandoned the fort! Whoo-hoo!

- The fort is ours! (all screaming for joy)

- I'll be fine. Thanks for asking.

- ♪♪ One, two, three, four ♪

♪ You are last and we come first We're not scared of anyone ♪

♪ Masters of the universe and we are here to have fun ♪

♪ Be advised and be afraid We are here on a crusade ♪

♪ So just go crying to your mama We are sharper than your papa ♪

♪ Can't you see we're awesome Infinitely awesome ♪

♪ By now you should really know that we are the heroes ♪

(background vocals)

♪ We are the heroes ♪

(background vocals)

- No class! No class at all!

Bunch of yahoos!

- ♪ We will take over the loot Have our cake and eat it too ♪

♪ We will be victorious We are strong and glorious ♪

♪ Can't you see we're awesome Infinitely awesome ♪

♪ By now you should really know that we are the heroes ♪

(background vocals)

♪ We are the heroes ♪

(background vocals)

♪ We are the heroes ♪

♪ Be advised and be afraid We are here on a crusade ♪

♪ So just go crying to your mama We are sharper than your papa ♪

- Ha-ha! Cleo! - ♪ Awesome ♪

♪ Infinitely awesome ♪ - My plans!

- ♪ By now you should really know that we are the heroes ♪

(background vocals)

♪ We are the heroes ♪ (background vocals)

(screaming)

♪ We are the heroes ♪♪

(background vocals)

- Who are you, anyway?

- Нi, my name is Daniel Blanshire, from Victoriaville.

Reporter in training. Hi.

My name is Daniel Blanshire, from Victoriaville.

Hi, my name is Daniel Blanshire, from Victoriaville.

- Who is that?!

- It's Daniel Victor from Blanshireville.

(short laugh)

(moaning in effort)

- I just can't believe your sister didn't show up.

- They say she's my big sister,

but I'm pretty sure there was a mix-up at the hospital.

I feel older.

- Yeah, a real disappointment.

- She's a quitter. - And you should see her room.

A pigsty. Good night. - Good night.

- Good night.

(moaning in effort)

- Oh, hi. - Hi.

- Thought you'd like to know

a different flag flies over the fort tonight.

It's a stinky boy flag, with holes in the butt.

- (in a mocking tone): "Holes in the butt."

(soft suspense music)

(electronic sound)

(moaning in effort)

♪♪♪

Underwear? Yuck!

(suspense music)

(catching her breath and then gasping)

- Goin' somewhere?

We knew you'd come back.

The war's supposed to stop at night, you know.

- Get her! - Yes, get her!

- (both): Huh? Who?

- Нer! (moaning)

- Get her! - Don't let her get away!

- (both): Huh?

(catching her breath)

- The emergency exit! - On my way, General!

(screaming)

- Ta, ta!

Whoaaaa!

- Ah man!

- After her!

(moaning)

- (both): Whoaaaa!

- Oh man, I can't believe it.

(screaming)

(muffled screaming)

(screaming)

(moaning)

(screaming)

- Ha! Missed me!

Crush me once, shame on you!

(screaming) Crush me twice, shame on-

- Jack! What're you doing?

- Flying, sir.

Oh!

(both screaming)

(both moaning in slow motion and falling with a thud)

- Yaaaay!

Whoo! Ha-ha!

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

(dog whimpering)

(sighing and gasping)

(humming a victorious melody)

(laughing victoriously)

- The enemy flag?!

- Wanna sniff? - Yuck! - Ha-ha!

- How'd you do it?!

- Not me.

My super-duper fantastic sister!

- Ah! Sophie! (soft guitar music)

(giggling)

- Not bad for a quitter, huh, kiddos?

- Yeah, well... about that.

I, uh... - No, you were right.

But then I started thinking, what kind of a leader quits

at the first sign of dissension among the troops?

- You. - Yes.

Well... - Hey! Great to have you back!

(barking in agreement) - (all): Hoo-ah!

- Ah, I knew it!

I shouldn't have let Chuck get his greasy paws on these.

Oh, all quiet on the Eastern front!

- Same here!

- Quiet here too. Nothing to report.

[Other than extreme boredom.]

- (in a sleepy tone): Nothing to report, General.

(moaning)

(sighing) - Great.

- I've had it with guarding the flanks. It's like guarding air.

If real war is like this, I'm not going.

It's a real snoozer.

(soft guitar music)

(moaning softly)

(wings flapping)

(fighting noises)

(sighing)

(slurping)

(dog yawning)

- Sitting around doing nothing...

feels like I'm destroying all my precious brain cells.

- Didn't you tell me

brain cells start dying the day you're born?

Or even before?

- Ah...

(soft music)

(gasping) - What's that?

- Nothing. (background chatter)

- Uh... okay.

(thud and running footsteps)

(taking a deep breath)

- I'm fed up with their war. - Nah, it's fun!

Look at my photos! It's all here! The human drama.

The gritty realism.

- Watch out! - Aah!

What's that?

Ah!

- That's an idea.

- Help! Help!

(gasping)

(suspense music)

- Why are you looking at me? It's not my voice.

- That's my megaphone!

- Oh! Yeah, it's-

It's- It's hard to remember where I put everything!

- Is anybody listening?

- It's Daniel Blanshire from Drummondville.

- Victoriaville.

- There's two Daniel Blanshires? - Ugh!

- Nicky needs help! Hurry!

- It's one of Luke's traps.

- No. It's Nicky. We have to go see.

- He's caught in a fox trap!

- Uh, bear trap. It sounds bigger.

- A bear trap! It sounds bigger!

- Say I'm dead.

- He's... They'll never believe that.

- Almost dead, then.

- I don't think so. Too sensational.

- Ugh!

- He's out cold! And there's blood everywhere!

- It's one of Sophie's traps.

- Nicky wouldn't side with anyone.

- I think we should go. - Nicky says to bring bandages!

- No. I'm out cold. I can't talk.

- He told me that before going out cold!

Hurry up! He's getting worse!

His face is blue. His eyes are bulging.

Nobody's coming. You sure they're your friends?

- Hurry up, you guys. - Nicky's the peace guy, right?

- Who'd step in a trap. - Hey, keep up, Frankie!

- I'm the one wearing glasses.

- Look, there he is! - What a waste of time!

- Who'd step on a bear trap?

- I hope he's okay. - This better be real.

- Аh! - Don't push.

- We should've brought a sled.

(bird squawking in the distance)

- Where's the blood?

I don't see any blood. - Argh!

(Nicky moaning and friends gasping)

- Wait. (still moaning)

Aren't you supposed to be unconscious?

(Nicky gasping and others reacting)

- We're leaving. - So are we.

(background reactions) - Wait!

Now that you're united by a common cause,

you gotta make peace. - (all): Huh?!

- No way! - Never!

- Nicky's right. War is boring. I'm done fighting.

- I'm done too. Smell ya later, dweebs.

- (both): I'm tired of guard duty.

There's nothing to guard but... him.

- It was fun while it lasted. - Guys! Guys, come on!

- Come on, Daniel! We stopped the war!

- Interesting turn of events.

- We should take a group picture.

(background chatter)

- There goes your army, General.

- Yours too.

They sure liked attacking forts.

- Hmm.

Give me the fort back and they can have one last attack.

There's still another day of winter break.

- Why would I agree to that?

- Your army might come back.

Besides, if you don't, you'll never know

if you could have taken the fort with me defending it.

(soft music)

(bird squawking in the distance)

- You have a... bit of snow there.

- You've got a hole in your mitten.

Well... that was...

(uneasy laugh) um...

- Oh, uh, well,

you're not much of a kisser either.

- I was gonna say "nice".

But I am a better kisser than you.

- Uh... well, I'll see you on the battlefield!

- Good luck with that, General!

- Yeah! You bet, soldier!

(soft music)

(moaning in frustration)

(wind blowing)

- I can't let you play today, Cleo.

It's the final battle.

Who knows what tricks they'll have up their sleeves.

And I don't want you getting covered in paint again.

(dog whimpering)

It's because I love you, Cleo.

(growling softly)

- I don't know how you got Luke to give us the fort back.

- I don't really know either.

He just offered it.

- Curious military strategy. (electronic alert)

(kids chanting) Enemy approaching. 12 o'clock.

- Enemy at 12 o'clock! - Roger that!

- (all): Lose! Lose! Lose!

- Confirmed! Scumbags in sight at 12 o'clock!

- (all): Rip 'em up, tear 'em up, throw them to their knees!

Fill their pants with icy snow 'til they holler please!

- And at 3 o'clock. And 9 o'clock.

Scumbags everywhere! - What?!

(background chatter and laughter)

They've recruited the first graders!

- That's just wrong.

- We're gonna need more ammo.

- Alright! Give me your best war face!

(background chatter) Three, two, one...

(playing a military melody)

(kids babbling)

(bugle melody playing in the distance)

(sighing)

(Cleo howling)

(barking)

(kids cheering in the distance) - Charge!

(charging yells)

(bugle melody)

- (both): How come we didn't get any candy?

- We're in it for the glory.

- (both): Who needs glory? We'll take the candy.

(charging yells)

- No! My chocolate!

(bugle melody)

(Cleo barking)

- Fire! (charging yells)

- Fire! - Fire!

- Time for The Blizzard!

Patent pending.

- Whoa-hoa-hoa!

(evil laugh)

- (all): Aah! - The battle's that way.

- Charge! - Oh yeah!

(laughing victoriously)

- You guys are gonna eat snow for lunch!

(all moaning) - Yes!

(Cleo whimpering)

- Hustle you maggots. This way.

Follow me to the flanks.

- (all): What are maggots? What are flanks?

- Flanks, flanks, you don't know what flanks are?

- (all): No. - We're only first graders.

- Aw, come on! (background chatter)

- Get under the walls! - Way to go Jack! You made it!

- Bring the ladder! (giggling)

(laughing victoriously)

(screaming)

(humming a victory song)

- Where's that ladder?!

- (muffled): It's coming, General!

(Cleo barking)

- Cleo? Cleo! (still barking)

(fighting in the background)

(Cleo whimpering)

Poor Cleo! (laughing)

Let's get you home girl.

(bugle melody) Aah!

(dog barking) Cleo! No! No!

(fighting in the background) - Faster!

- Hey, I recognize that!

- (both): Locked and loaded sir. - Fire!

- You stole my catapult!

You cheaters! - They must've seen your plans.

- Fire! (crashing sound)

- But you built it all wrong!

You bunch of ignoramuses!

- Use bigger blocks! - Seems to be working alright.

- Second catapult! Fire! (dog barking)

- Aah!

- You guys are crazy!

(barking) - Fire at will!

- Smile. - (all): Whoaaa!

Hello Cleo! (dog barking)

- Aah! - Oh!

(snowball crashing)

- I've got a bad feeling about this.

- Go! Dig! Dig!

To the walls!

(playing a bugle melody)

- (all): To the walls! (dog barking)

(charging yells in the background)

- This time you can't stop me!

- Charge! - Take that, you big lug!

- Cavalry to the rescue! (fighting yells)

- It's clobberin' time! (fighting yells)

- Yaah!

(fighting yells) - Huh?

- Missed!

Raise our flag! - On my way General!

- Over my dead body!

(kids screaming and crying)

(cracking sounds)

(Cleo moaning and barking)

- Whoaaa!

(screaming)

- Ah! Run!

(moaning)

(crashing sound)

(background reactions)

- Everybody okay? - Okay.

- Me too. - Okay.

- We're good here.

(background chatter)

- Нave you seen Cleo? - Nuh-uh.

- Cleo!

- Cleo? Cleo's not here.

- Cleo?

- Huh?

(suspense music)

- Oh! It's Cleo! - Huh?

- Нelp me! Help me! - Cleo?

- Hey! (moaning in effort)

We're coming Cleo. Oh, we're coming.

Okay... (kids catching their breath)

- Oh, Cleo... (moaning)

- Cleo... (both moaning)

Come on, Cleo. Huh?

Cleo...

No! (moaning in effort)

Oh... Oh...

Please be okay. You're my best friend.

- Please! - Aw...

- No. Oh girl...

(sniffling)

Cleo...

(soft music)

(sighing)

This is all your fault!

You and your...

your stupid bugle!

It was just supposed to be a game!

Cleo never hurt anyone!

♪♪♪

(wind blowing)

Cleo...

(floor cracking softly)

(slow bugle melody)

- (man): Present arms!

Ready! Aim! Fire!

(gunshots)

(slow bugle melody)

- Argh! (clinking sound)

(door squeaking open)

- Luke?

(soft music)

(crying softly)

(moaning in effort)

- Piers?

I want you to have this.

- I don't want your bugle.

(moaning in effort)

- Ten hut!

(shovelling in the background)

Honour guard...

present arms!

(playing a slow bugle melody)

(end of melody)

- That was beautiful, Luke.

- Cleo was a great dog.

- She sure was. - (twins): She was the best.

- She loved snowballs so much.

- And eating.

- And playing catch. - And slobbering.

- And farting.

Her farts were the smelliest.

- You know what we need to do?

Tear down the rest of that fort!

- Yeah!

(all agreeing)

(all laughing)

(cheering)

- Yeah!

- ♪♪ Infinity ♪

♪ Where does it start? ♪

- Yah! - ♪ Where do we go ♪

♪ When we depart? ♪ - Yay!

- Aah! - ♪ The ice is thin ♪

(moaning in effort) ♪ You're standing still ♪

♪ When you advance it falls apart ♪

(laughing and snorting) - Whoo!

- ♪ Open your eyes ♪ (whooping)

♪ Look straight ahead ♪ - (all): Hoo-ah!

- ♪ A morning sky hangs by a thread ♪

♪ You hear your voice ♪

♪ As it echoes ♪

♪ The heart of a man as he grows ♪

♪ Will glow ♪ (back vocals)

(humming)

♪ Sing a hymn ♪

(moaning)

(both laughing) - This way! Towards me!

(background reactions) - Watch out.

- That's it. - That's it! That's good!

(background chatter)

- ♪ Sing a hymn ♪

♪ For your brothers ♪

♪ Everybody needs to know ♪

♪ Sing a hymn ♪

♪ For your father ♪

♪ And finally the sun ♪

♪ Will glow ♪

(background vocals)

(humming)

♪ Sing a hymn ♪

♪ For your father ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪♪

(cheerful background chatter)

♪♪♪

- ♪♪ I'm not too sure how long it's been ♪

♪ But I got caught up in the game ♪

♪ My heart is meltin' like the snow ♪

♪ Now that I got to know your name ♪

(kid giggling) ♪ My brain is in a haze ♪

♪ When I hold your gaze ♪

♪ In this weather you're my sweater ♪

♪ You can keep me warm for days ♪

(background chatter and background vocals)

♪ Like a spell mocking winter ♪

♪ Both of us together like gloves ♪

♪ On the thin ice of December ♪

♪ Skating you a figure of love ♪

♪ My brain is in a haze ♪ (kids giggling)

♪ When I hold your gaze ♪

♪ In this weather you're my sweater ♪

♪ You can keep me warm for days ♪

(kids giggling)

(background vocals)

♪ I'm not too sure how long it's been ♪

♪ But I got caught up in the game ♪

- ♪ My heart is melting like the snow ♪

♪ Now that I got to know your name ♪

- ♪ My brain is in a haze ♪

♪ When I hold your gaze ♪

♪ In this weather you're my sweater ♪

♪ You can keep me warm for days ♪

♪ My brain is in a haze ♪

♪ When I hold your gaze ♪

♪ In this weather you're my sweater ♪

♪ You can keep me warm for days ♪♪

(background vocals)