Original subtitles

Sam Rothberg.

Now, we're all familiar with the Kubler-Ross Stages of Grief,

but Kubler-Ross' lesser-known work, The Stages of Realizing That

Your Missing Wife Has Been in the Park Napping and Also Fucking Sam Rothberg,

also deserves its day.

Stage one is, naturally, shock.

How had Toby not realized that Rachel had a thing for Sam?

She had named him as her free pass at a dinner with their friends.

Gotta listen to the patient, you asshole.

God. What an idiot he was.

Toby had sworn off Facebook following his divorce,

because just looking at it made him despondent.

Facebook was a landscape of roads not taken

and moments of bliss, real or staged, that he couldn't bear.

Yeah, best to stay off Facebook.

It's gonna be another hot one this week,

as record temperatures soar even further

in this God-awful heatwave.

-Here's the thing about indifference... - ...fallout from Donald Trump's

Reddit AMA, and also some more news to take your mind off the fact

that your wife was fucking Sam Rothberg and also napping in the park.

It is impossible to attempt.

And in the attempt, you become less indifferent than ever.

Did Miriam Rothberg know?

Had Sam and Miriam divorced?

No, of course not. She was fucking a married guy, Lib.

I've long had questions about her basic character, you know, like,

"Who was this person I was married to for 15 years?"

I cannot fucking believe what you're telling me right now.

I know, this is the person who's raising my children.

-Well, not really. - Yeah, I know.

You know what I'm doing right now?

Smoking a cigarette.

You think she even waited a minute after I moved out

before immediately starting up with him?

Well, I mean, who says that it happened after?

Poor Toby was finally catching up to the fact

that he truly didn't know anything.

He thought back to that visit at the Rothberg's second,

third, or fourth house, more than a year ago.

- Sam, what is on your wrist? - It's... Well...

It's a Girard-Perregaux Moon Phase. I got it for nothing.

No kidding. You can't get one of these for less than ten grand.

Okay, not nothing.

Well, it's beautiful.

It was a long night that didn't even end when it was over.

He tried to use the time productively,

and with that, he reached stage three.

Toby had been replaced.

No, not replaced. She'd gotten an upgrade.

Who could ejaculate successfully under these circumstances?

That was it. He'd reached the next stage.

He ran to Rachel's, but got momentarily sidelined.

Was she a patient? Someone he went to school with?

They recognized each other at the same time.

- Yeah, no just like that. - Ride, daddy.

Yeah, I'm the cowboy.

He realized that this whole thing might be some cosmic punishment

for finally having a teaspoon of fun in his life.

"This is what you get," he thought. "This is what you get for having sex

"with strangers on your phone like an animal."

Long time no see, Dr. Fleishman.

He arrived at Rachel's unsure of what he'd find,

or what he'd do when he found it.

He gathered all he had to go in there.

Whatever it was, he could handle it.

Shit.

Dr. Fleishman here.

Test results for Karen Cooper. Liver failure.

Okay, got it. I'll be in in ten. Text me when you leave.

Mr. Cooper. Hi. Okay, here. Come on in. Please, sit down.

- What? - Her Wilson has progressed too far.

Her liver is just too injured.

Okay, so what's gonna happen?

First, we're gonna asses her for a transplant,

which involves us putting together a panel

to figure out where she'll go on the list.

- Okay, great. Can I call this panel? - No, no.

That's not how this works, but listen, she is a young, healthy mother

- of two young boys. She'll go high up. - But I mean...

- A liver transplant. - Yeah.

Look...

I think it's one of those things that feels crazy when it's happening to you,

but from where I sit, it happens successfully all the time.

I just... I don't know how she got it.

You know, I mean, because she is exercising all the time,

she's drinking green juice... Pilates...

Yeah, she didn't get it, she's had it.

It's been in her this whole time. It's just been dormant.

Yeah, let's go see your kids. Here, come on.

What was it like, Toby wondered, to have a normal marriage,

where when your wife was sick, you worried?

Just a marriage, nothing crazy.

He had to get out of there. He had to confront Rachel.

Oh, good, Dr. Fleishman.

- Hi, I was just... - We're short a transplant hepatologist

for a panel. Dr. Coleman's daughter is having a baby.

Oh.

- Yeah, no, I was just heading out but... - It won't take that long, truly.

- Yeah, of course. - I really appreciate it.

Okay.

Ugh. That's hot.

Now, there was nothing stopping him.

Now, there were no excuses.

Long time no see, Dr. Fleishman.

Fuck it. He was going in.

Hello?

Hello?

It had been a long time since he'd been there

and he hadn't expected the feelings that overcame him.

This was his kids' home.

This had been his home.

Good. Wash your hands.

- Wash your hands. - I'm so hungry.

- Come here. - Is there anything to eat?

Yes, of course.

The mummies were wrapped in a...

None of his memories were of the monumental moments.

- Saracoguphalus. - Close.

- Sarcophagus. - Yes.

He couldn't have thought of one if you'd asked him.

Ancient Egyptians believed they would live on...

But here they were, embedded in these walls.

You know what? Just go back to your office, seriously.

Come on, it's the most undermining bullshit I've ever heard.

If you heard how you talk to me. You're supposed to love me,

to pretend, at least, that you love me.

But he was here for a reason.

What the fuck?

Weed? Rachel would never smoke weed. Never, ever.

Tea?

Rachel hates tea.

Beef lo mein?

Rachel was an avowed shrimp and lobster sauce person.

God, they got it wrong.

She would never eat beef lo mein.

It was all beef lo mein.

He had to piece together where she was and what was going on.

But he still couldn't stop thinking about Sam Rothberg.

- Babe, you want some tea? - Oh, I love tea.

- So good for you. - Yes, please.

Maybe he didn't know her at all.

- Dr. Fleishman. - Don't you Dr. Fleishman me.

I'm inside the apartment, I'm looking for clues.

- Like what? - I don't know.

- I'm trying to discern if he was here. - How?

I don't know. Looking for pubic hair.

Rachel hasn't had any for years. If I find one, it's definitely Sam's.

How will you know? You can't dust for pubic hair.

Yes, of course you can.

Shit. I gotta go.

- I wanted to tell you... - No, sorry, I really gotta go.

I'm so happy to finally be with someone who encourages me to try new things

rather than just walking around the city incessantly.

Walking is for losers, babe.

Ambien?

Fucking Sam Rothberg.

Give it to me.

I love beef lo mein.

God, how had I never tried it before?

I never knew how great it could be when it's hard.

You've reached Rachel Fleishman.

It's me. I wanna let you know you can continue

living it up on your own because you'll never see the kids again.

Long time no see, Dr. Fleishman.

Yeah, can she see me? It's a custodial emergency, please.

What? She's my lawyer.

Yeah, I know it's a Saturday. That's why it's an emergency.

Yeah, it's about my children. Their mother has abandoned them.

Two hours? What am I supposed to do for two hours?

All right, yeah, no, fine.

That's fine. Yeah, I'll be there.

Two hours was a window in which to plunge into the next stage.

He went to a bookstore to try to lose himself in a book.

Decoupling, a book that was close to the friend he needed

as he could find at that moment.

Decoupling was our favorite book, written by our favorite author,

Archer Sylvan.

A gonzo account of a year in the life of a divorced man in 1979.

It called out women for changing the rules on men with no warning

because of their vapid women's lib and their stupid sexual awakenings.

What can I say?

The book hadn't aged well.

Barbara, hi. I'm sorry, but this was a true emergency.

- I was busy. - Yeah.

Thank you so much.

- You're carrying a toaster. - Yeah.

So, you said emergency?

Yes, thank you. I need to change my custody agreement.

Rachel dropped the kids off and never picked them up.

That was weeks ago.

- What are you thinking? - Uh...

How dumb it was that I thought she'd become considerate

or work hard to make sure the kids felt loved.

No, I mean, what do you want? How do you want to adjust the agreement?

What do you mean?

I wanna make sure she has no access to the kids. Like none.

Sounds like you already have that.

Uh...

I'm not finding the agreement.

Remind me. Your wife is an entertainment lawyer?

- Agent. She has an agency. - Right.

- Right, she did Hamilton. - No.

She represents Alejandra Lopez. The woman...

- Right. Presidentrix. - That's it.

"Silly little slattern."

- There it is. Oh, boy. - I loved that.

- It's a fun show. - Oh, yeah.

- And you are a... - A doctor.

- I'm a hepatologist at St. Thaddeus. - Right. Right.

- Good for you. - Thanks.

Yeah, my dad was over there with a cardiac thing.

- Good hospital. - Yeah, I know.

We talked about your dad last time.

Well, I mean as long as she's still paying the bills.

She's still paying the bills, right?

Yeah, I mean, I received child support this month.

That's not the point.

Well, then I think what you really need to do

is to remember that divorce is hell

and you have to do the hard work of accepting that.

Yeah, but we had a custody agreement. She can't just completely...

Listen to me.

The laws are freighted for the husbands,

and there's nothing to be done about that.

It doesn't feel like it's freighted to me.

In fact, it feels like the opposite here.

No, in this case, you're the wife.

Desperate to regain his sense of self-worth, Toby visited Naheed.

He was desperate to prove that he was a man,

a real man, a virile man, a not-a-wife.

- Hey. - Hey.

Let's do this.

Well, that was interesting.

- Something you wanna talk about? - No.

What if I told you I can't go home tonight?

I would ask you if you needed a toothbrush.

I mean, my kids aren't there, I just...

I don't know. I just can't go home.

Thanks.

Here.

Ah, thank you.

Hey, what do you say we get some breakfast?

Well, sure, do you wanna order in?

No, come on. Let's go out. It's nice out.

Um, I can't.

I don't go out to breakfast.

I don't date.

- Sorry, what? What do you mean? - I'll order.

- What do you want? - No, I mean, I heard you.

I just don't understand.

I like you. You like me. Why wouldn't you...

Do you not wanna be seen with me?

No, it's...

It's more complicated than that.

I really just don't want to get into it right now, okay?

More and more, Toby thought back to what his dreams had been.

He hadn't wanted anything spectacular, just love and longevity,

just a normal marriage.

Then he wanted a normal divorce, but he couldn't even get that.

Now, he couldn't even have a normal girlfriend.

All right, I gotta go.

Um...

- You're mad. - No, I just...

I just... I gotta go.

Hey.

Excuse me, you can't smoke here.

Hey, buddy.

There's a sign here, you can't smoke here.

You can't do whatever you want, that's not how it works.

There are rules.

You're a crazy little guy.

I'm gonna lead you through it. Give it a lot of energy.

As much as you can. Reach those arms. Go for it, okay?

- Hey. - Hey, you busy?

Yeah, no, I'm working out.

This crazy class

where maybe every single person here was somehow a former ballerina.

You wanna come hang out here? It's just a lazy Sunday.

I have an afternoon at the pool. Yeah, I promised the kids.

I think, hopefully, it's gonna clear up.

It's just...

It's like a really long weekend.

It's, like, been the weekend for eight days at this point.

Well, why don't you come to me?

- Yeah? - Yeah, you can get out of the city

and clear your head, right? It will be nice.

I really am sorry. I have to go. Okay, okay.

Sorry, sorry.

Sorry.

- Stay still. - I hate this!

Are we done yet?

Thought I was picking you up at the station.

It was a really nice walk.

- Are you done yet? - It's a heat wave.

Uh, do you want some toast?

Sorry. No, this...

This is a gift. It's actually a really good one.

- Looks used. - Yeah.

They don't make it anymore.

- Can I get over this? - We're not ready yet.

- Come on. - We're not leaving

until everyone is wearing sunscreen.

- Toby! Hi! - Hey, long time no see.

- Yeah, you joining us? - I forgot to tell you.

You have any idea where the floaties are?

We're not doing the floaties. Sasha, put this on.

- Please. - I'm not wearing this.

That is your swimsuit. You have to wear it.

- I want a bikini. - Oh, my God. I remember this.

You're 11 years old. You have nothing to put in a bikini.

- I hate you! - You don't have anything to...

Hey, Sasha.

Okay, who opened the freezer and didn't shut it?

- A school dad. - Mmm.

And she's been home with the school dad. What? Whoa!

I haven't been able to work out the details.

I haven't figured out how long ago this must have started.

No, trust me. I know your theory. I can't yet. I need to ease into this.

- Fine, sure. I'm sorry. - Yeah.

Now this guy is just the worst.

She has been with the uber ne plus ultra supernova of douches,

the Parent Association president's husband.

God, a school dad. I didn't even know that she had this in her.

Who else could it be, right?

I don't know, an actor, director, like, literally anybody else on Earth

other than a school dad, right? Everybody's gonna know.

Maybe everybody already knows.

I don't know. She's not like the type to commit social suicide.

With respect, I think we might need to revisit

what type of person we think that she is.

- You know? - Where are the towels?

They're here!

A school dad. It's just... It's crazy.

So, you guys just talking?

- I'm doing the bottles. - Yeah.

Hmm.

Do you have trunks for Toby?

- I'll check. - Thank you.

I think I'll never not trust your instincts again.

- You said it was another man. - Yeah, I did,

but I also thought she was dead.

That's true.

- I'm not going. - God, we don't even own a bikini!

Like, there are no bikinis in the whole house.

This argument makes no sense.

You have to meet this Sam Rothberg guy to truly get it. I mean, he's lazy,

spoiled, entitled. He wears the pants with white stripes on the side.

The wife has opioid money, if you want to know who we're dealing with here.

- Did you open this? - No. What? I've just been standing here.

What?

Check out what I've got. Mmm?

- Look how cool you are. - Okay?

- Yeah, okay. - Don't tell the children.

Oh, thank you.

You haven't changed yet?

Ah.

I will.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

You're welcome.

As I battled the cobra that is the Lands' End tankini,

I couldn't stop thinking about Rachel.

Running off with a school dad.

Toby seemed as shell-shocked as a person could be, but I also felt shocked

in a way that I almost had no right to.

This wasn't about me or my...

This fucking thing!

So, how's the law?

Well, people still getting sued, so it's good, I guess.

Yeah. Yeah.

Is it time to eat?

No, it's Miles' lesson in five.

- You want me to take him? - No, I promised.

I couldn't stop wondering what I must look like to Toby.

Here at my horrifying club that I was too much of a socialist to join.

And yet...

And yet, I wore the same utilitarian bathing suit as everyone else.

It doesn't look like the same bathing suit, but it is.

It just comes in different colors and necklines,

and some of them have shorts and skirts at the hem.

Hey! Libby, are we still on for tomorrow?

Great. I'll drive there, you drive back.

And Sadie's party's moved indoors, so...

I didn't like being this way with someone

who remembered me at the beginning.

Back when I was all potential

and the world was going to take me to a million different places,

and not one of them was here.

A school dad. Can you believe it?

- I mean... - Uh, that sounds tough.

Yeah, it's not great. I'm mostly worried about the kids.

Right. Yeah, sure.

Yeah.

It's been really nice hanging out with you guys again, though.

Well, with Libby.

- Yeah, right. - Yeah.

It's been nice to see her interested in something again.

We're never gonna eat again.

- Oh, thank God, we're dying over here. - Eat this.

- Eat this. Where's Toby? - Bathroom.

Hey. That was super fun. I'm so glad we did this.

- Adam, thank you. - Yeah.

We haven't even gone swimming yet.

- No, I can't. I really gotta go. - Hope things are okay.

- It was really good to see you. - You sure you have to go?

We're gonna barbeque and stuff later.

Yeah, I do. I had plans. I'm actually meeting Seth.

- You are? - Yeah.

We're going to this crazy underground place.

You can only access it through a laundromat.

Should I go with you?

Cause we had to buy the blinds for your place anyway, so...

Yeah, we were watching Ratatouille.

We're barbequing. We invited Annie and Mike.

They always cancel. I've seen Ratatouille.

- We have all seen Ratatouille. - Okay, let me just...

- I'll walk with you real quick. - Okay.

- Not sure that you should be alone. - You really don't have to.

I would prefer to be alone.

- Are you sure? - Yeah.

- It's not a big deal. - This is actually

a really amazing place. I'm really proud of you.

Look at the place you wound up, here.

It's a trick. It's designed to lure you here.

All these people are central casting. They're not real.

No. No, you're lucky, okay?

God, how did this happen to me? Seriously... What did I do?

What about me is so unlovable?

- Hey. - No, stop, don't say anything.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna go, okay?

- I can drive you to the train. - I'm ordering an Uber.

- I'll go with you. - Libby, please take a hint.

I don't want you to come.

This stage is called being a dick.

Okay.

Sorry, we're shopping for blinds this week, right?

- Whatever. - Okay, I'm sorry.

He'd had to leave.

Fuck.

He couldn't bear the families anymore.

He'd wanted a big family.

Three kids at least.

Where's the seder plate?

There was a blissful period for them after they'd decided to end things,

but hadn't told anyone yet.

It was the honeymoon phase of their separation.

Absent the high stakes of trying to live together,

they spent their last few months being kind to each other.

We were meant to be best friends, I think.

You know, this doesn't have to define us.

We're both young. We can still be happy.

We can still have more kids.

I'm sorry, what?

Why not?

Rachel, if you're interested in parenting,

I know two kids that would love a mother.

What are you talking about?

You have energy for your clients,

but if the kids want any part of you, you're tired,

- busy or you're taking some me time. - You have to be kidding me.

I'm sorry. Are you under the impression that school pays for itself?

Can you two keep it down? We're going to have a nice holiday.

Yeah, yeah.

Hi, I'm looking for...

Okay.

Hi, yeah. I think my friends are back here.

Thank you so much.

- Hi! - Hey, there he is.

- Hello. - Hey.

- This is my oldest friend in the world. - Hi!

- So nice to meet you. - Yeah.

He's 117. Usually, Toby makes that joke.

Why so anemic, my friend?

Oh, it's not a great day.

I'm sorry. I'm so happy you guys are finally meeting.

- Yeah. - Sorry for what you're going through.

Thanks. It's fine. I'm fine. Sorry, what do you do?

I'm in restaurant PR.

Vanessa can get us in anywhere.

It's amazing. This place is amazing.

The chef was exiled by the emperor of Japan because he wouldn't reveal

his secret recipe for shirako, which is the sperm of the male cod.

It makes you super virile. Toby here is a doctor.

- Oh, that's important work. - Thank you.

I ordered some fugu for the table, which is this Japanese delicacy

that's basically illegal because one out of every 100 times,

it's, you know, it's poisonous.

I don't love those odds.

Seth said you were funny.

It's the liver. Fugu. It's the liver. I thought you would like it.

No, I do like that. That's very sweet. Thank you.

I'll be right back.

What did I tell you?

Yeah. I'm sorry. I haven't been able to...

I got fired, Toby.

What?

Yeah, man.

My whole team did.

My boss is being investigated for some stuff and it's not true.

He's got a lot of enemies because he's so successful, but...

Yeah, yeah, they fired the whole team.

I... That's...

That's unbelievable. Are you being investigated?

I don't know. I don't know.

They're not giving us the benefit of the doubt.

It's a different world out there, man. It's like...

It feels like now the environment

isn't so hospitable to our kind, you know?

- Mmm. No... - I'm not saying the abhorrent thing.

I am saying sometimes the abhorrent thing

is a little true, you know?

You have the same job for ten years, and then suddenly your mentor,

allegedly, because there's no proof, your mentor is an insider trader,

and you have to go out into the world, a newborn babe.

Man, I guess the white man had his run.

You just said the abhorrent thing that you weren't...

Yeah, this... Toby, this is my fight song.

Anyway, I'm going out with the boys tonight.

Gonna do a big send-off starting at the Four Seasons.

I'm in charge of entertainment.

There's an antibiotic-resistant strain of the clap going around, so just...

Don't say anything. I haven't said anything to her.

Are you serious? Seth...

- Hello. - Hey.

- Hi. - Tell us about the restroom.

Maybe Seth had it down right.

Don't get attached, keep it all on the surface.

Go for as many threesomes as possible. Life will let you down anyway.

- Uh... You okay? - Yeah.

He saw that everyone there was a Sam Rothberg,

and it made him feel even more like a Toby Fleishman,

and he could no longer account for the question

of why Rachel would want Sam and not him.

Here, the answer was too obvious.

Toby desperately wanted to be home

in the safety of his apps, where he had control.

That's you.

Sorry.

- Dr. Fleishman. - Hi, Toby.

Liver is in for Karen Cooper.

Finally. A sign from the universe

that old Toby Fleishman hadn't been forgotten.

- Yeah. - Everything all right?

Yeah. I have a patient who needed a liver transplant

and the liver just came in.

Sorry. I got to go. Hey, it was really nice to, you know...

Yeah, it was great to meet you.

Bye.

The surgery will take more than 12 hours.

During that time, we'll be transferring the viable liver,

and after, she'll go into recovery.

I just wanna know that she's gonna be okay.

Yeah. Dr. Lince is the best surgeon we have

and we're the best liver transplant hospital in the country.

We'll be in touch.

Thank you.

Yeah. She's in very good hands.

There is food that will be served at mealtime,

but if you want anything, we are in it for the long haul.

Dr. Heydari will be available to answer any of your questions

and give you updates.

And also, you have my cell, right, if you can't find me?

Yeah? Okay. Good, but I'm gonna stick around.

Right this way, Mr. Cooper.

- Thank you so much. - Of course.

Um...

See these?

This was us right before this happened to her.

I'm sorry, and you are?

I'm Amy. I'm her...

Karen's my best friend.

- We went to Vegas for the weekend. - Oh, right.

Mmm-hmm.

So... Jesus Christ. So this is her?

I mean...

Yeah.

I think she'd really like you.

Having an unconscious patient was like talking to someone on the phone

for hours before ever seeing them.

Your brain corrected for them to be what you wished that they were.

Toby had pictured someone smart and complicated,

though he didn't really know why.

He had not pictured someone who posed for pictures lasciviously

with cowboy strippers at a place called Vegas Strips.

He somehow needed her to be a person who was wonderful, worthy.

Sorry. Here. Well, we're doing our best to get her better, okay?

The thought occurred to him that if he had made Karen Cooper

into something she wasn't, well, what had he done to Rachel?

Was she just a projection, too?

What did he really know after all?

She never lied to him.

- I see you got here. - Yeah. No, the minute I heard.

Of course, yeah.

Is everything okay?

Um...

Yeah, just, like, her...

Her kids are my kids' age. I was just... It got me thinking, I guess.

Well, that happens.

Are you doing okay, Dr. Fleishman?

Yeah, yeah. Just, I...

I haven't been sleeping so well.

Well, we're waiting on blood work for Mr. Caplan

and Mrs. Cooper is all prepped.

Yeah. You should go home, Toby.

No, I'm gonna stay.

You don't have to be a hero, Doctor.

Hey, don't die on me, man.

He's crashing on us.

No, no, I wanna stay. Just wake me if anything happens.

Yeah. Of course.

What was true was that he didn't wanna go home and be alone.

Yeah. I'm up. I'm up.

Mrs. Cooper?

I made it through surgery.

My new liver is amazing.

I'm so glad.

You saved my life.

You're an amazing doctor.

I'm an amazing wife.

Do you wanna marry me next?

Don't you die on me.

I'm not here to play God.

Wait. Your incision. Wait. I think you're gonna open your incision.

- Yeah. - Shh. Toby.

You're gonna open your incision. Yeah.

Toby. Toby. Toby.

- Toby. - Yeah.

It's time for rounds.

I'm sorry. I just... I know you wanted to know.

No. Let's go do rounds.

They're waking up Karen Cooper.

Mrs. Lee can wait. Let's go check on Karen Cooper.

We're here for the bad parts. We should also be here for the good.

Hi, baby. Hi. Yeah.

When Toby had finally torn through all of the stages,

he was left only with the facts of what had happened in his life.

I have to go check on someone else. Excuse me.

And with that, he reached the 12th and final stage

of Realizing That Your Missing Wife Has Been in the Park Napping

and Also Fucking Sam Rothberg.

Of realizing that life had deposited you in an absolute vast wasteland

of confusion and despair...

...of having exhausted every way of avoiding

the one thing you have to face.