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1
00:00:01,234 --> 00:00:04,384
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,320
(SNICKERING)
3
00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:27,796
PENELOPE: Yeah, let's go!
4
00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,262
BRICK: Hey, hey, hey!
5
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:33,170
It's big Brick Crashman
here in sunny California,
6
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:37,974
as our racers roll along
the final leg of the San Francisco... Oh.
7
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,038
Skedaddle!
8
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:40,605
(GRUNTING)
9
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:49,877
(SCREAMING)
10
00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:51,620
Now there's something
you don't see every day.
11
00:00:51,686 --> 00:00:53,946
Au contraire, I see this
beautiful sight every day.
12
00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:56,691
-Don't I, handsome?
-No, you're the handsome one.
13
00:00:56,757 --> 00:01:00,727
No, you are. (GRUNTS)
14
00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:02,304
-(SLURPING)
-Uh-oh.
15
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:05,233
BELLA: No, Bernie, no!
He's not good enough for you!
16
00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,969
Sorry, but I'm not
that kind of dragon.
17
00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:11,614
Ha! I hope you'll be
very happy together, Perfect.
18
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:14,312
-BELLA: Hey, dudes!
-Hey, oh!
19
00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:15,514
PENELOPE: Oh, my!
20
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:18,106
PETER: Gangway!
I.Q.: Gangway!
21
00:01:18,178 --> 00:01:19,508
(WHIMPERING)
22
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,920
Not now, Muttley!
23
00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:23,151
I think Perfect may have
more lines than I do.
24
00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:25,547
This is why I should write
all the episodes.
25
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,489
(BOTH YELP)
26
00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:32,555
There's not gonna be
any broken glass on this show, fella.
27
00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:35,303
And put on more seat belts.
28
00:01:35,363 --> 00:01:38,733
-(DASTARDLY GASPS)
-And you're not writing any more scripts.
29
00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:43,149
The last one
made clowns cry.
30
00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:51,173
It is no joy, only the endless
howl of the abyss.
31
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:53,509
We dance the dance of despair.
32
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:57,580
(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
33
00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:01,761
(CLOWNS CRYING)
34
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,392
Hi, Dicky, hey.
How's my hair?
35
00:02:03,458 --> 00:02:05,328
-I'm going to meet
Bernie's parents. -(BERNIE ROARS)
36
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:06,792
Wish me luck!
37
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,600
-(DASTARDLY STRAING)
-(BEEP)
38
00:02:08,663 --> 00:02:12,633
Muttley, I've decided
the Mean Machine requires an upgrade.
39
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:16,270
-We need an A.I. guidance
system like I.Q.'s car has. -Huh?
40
00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:19,567
CAR:I think it's a left here. Maybe my other left.
41
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,580
-Huh?
-Hook this to Car.
42
00:02:21,643 --> 00:02:26,643
I'll download her
artificial intelligence to the mean machine.
43
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:30,623
(LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY)
Let's see here.
44
00:02:30,685 --> 00:02:34,715
-How do I work this
new fangled thing, hmm? -(BUZZING)
45
00:02:34,788 --> 00:02:38,058
No, this! Ha!
I think it's working!
46
00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:39,194
Or not.
47
00:02:39,260 --> 00:02:41,630
Drat! Muttley,
this is all your fault!
48
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,695
(WHIMPERING)
49
00:02:43,765 --> 00:02:47,465
Greetings, Dick Dastardly. This is the Mean Machine, you lucky you.
50
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:50,505
Really?
Well, now that you're alive, win this race for me.
51
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:54,481
Certainly. Dastardly, control the manual dynamic firing mechanism
52
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:57,352
while I bore a direct route to the finish line.
53
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,511
DASTARDLY: Control
the who's it what's it?
54
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,650
Eh, that would be a button
of some kind?
55
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,416
-Meh.
-(GRUNTING)
56
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:06,745
MEAN MACHINE:Don't put that button. Nor that one.
57
00:03:06,821 --> 00:03:10,161
No, not that button either.No wonder you never win races,
58
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:12,334
you fatuous fickle-headed fool.
59
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:15,303
Me? Watch how you address me,
you mechanical motor head.
60
00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:17,603
It's become crystal clear the only way I will win
61
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:20,365
is by unloading any useless dead weight.
62
00:03:20,435 --> 00:03:22,435
Good idea!
Where do we keep that?
63
00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:25,272
(SCREAMING)
64
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:27,939
-Fall into our
love blanket, brother. -DASTARDLY: What?
65
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:29,278
(BOTH YELLING)
66
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:30,912
Get a hair cut!
67
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:32,608
(DASTARDLY YELLS)
68
00:03:32,679 --> 00:03:34,149
-Pitstop.
-Let me guess,
69
00:03:34,215 --> 00:03:35,845
one of your schemes to cheat
has horribly backfired
70
00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:38,016
and you need our help. Again.
71
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,485
DASTARDLY:
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
72
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:41,523
(MEAN MACHINE LAUGHING)
73
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:44,829
You'll never catch me, you half-wit human.
74
00:03:44,893 --> 00:03:49,603
Dastardly, you hacked
Car's artificial intelligence matrix.
75
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,303
But that's stealing.
76
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,365
I'm kind of flattered, actually.
77
00:03:53,434 --> 00:03:54,944
MEAN MACHINE:Victory will soon be mine.
78
00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:57,072
Let's not argue about
who hacked who.
79
00:03:57,138 --> 00:03:59,808
Right now, you've all got to
help me stop Mean Machine.
80
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,583
Why should we?
81
00:04:01,643 --> 00:04:04,713
Well, it is packed
with enough weapons to level the entire town.
82
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,178
There's too much at stake.
83
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,846
Eh, stake?
84
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,275
Ugh, you've got
a point there.
85
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:11,450
PETER: Don't be mad, Bernie.
(SCREAMS)
86
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,348
(GRUNTS)
87
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:16,121
But I said I'm sorry
I told your mother she overcooked the villagers!
88
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:18,590
Oh. Hey, guys. Has Dastardly
had a plan backfire
89
00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,630
into a disaster we have to
help him with yet?
90
00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:23,304
-Yep.
-Then let's get it on.
91
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,734
PENELOPE: Let's get him!
Ha!
92
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,528
-PETER: Pull over.
-(PENELOPE YELLS)
93
00:04:26,601 --> 00:04:28,741
MEAN MACHINE:Back off, monkeys.
94
00:04:28,803 --> 00:04:31,213
-I'll cut him off.
-You cannot defeat a superior intelligence.
95
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:32,772
Nice try, meat bags,
96
00:04:32,841 --> 00:04:35,411
but I think it's time to refine your rides.
97
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:39,146
I will just upload an upgrade into your beastly buggies
98
00:04:39,213 --> 00:04:41,753
and we'll see who is leader of the pack.
99
00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,415
What are y'all up to?
100
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:46,494
MEAN MACHINE:This, and this, and this, and this.
101
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:48,063
(ALL SCREAMING)
102
00:04:48,122 --> 00:04:49,492
(ALL GROANING)
103
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,656
Everyone, get inside Car.
104
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:52,955
What do we do now?
105
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:54,497
I don't know.
106
00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,932
It looks like Mr. Dastardly
sure pulled a blooper.
107
00:04:56,998 --> 00:05:00,898
I heard you say transport us six months into the future.
108
00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,168
ALL: No!
109
00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:10,576
(CAR HORNS BLARING)
110
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,984
This does not look good.
111
00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:14,547
(TINKLING)
112
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,885
(HORNS HONKING)
113
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,385
(CAR HORNS BLARING)
114
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,828
Hey, hey, hey,
human meat bags.
115
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:29,404
Super upgraded
Brick Crash-mobile here.
116
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:31,603
Welcome, everybody,
to the Human Race.
117
00:05:31,666 --> 00:05:34,896
The favorite pastime of
our automotive overlords and their ruthless leader.
118
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:37,068
All hail the magnificent
Mean Machine!
119
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:42,077
(CARS CHEERING)
120
00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:43,442
(CARS GASP)
121
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,510
Guards.
122
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:45,748
(ALL GASPING)
123
00:05:45,813 --> 00:05:47,923
How did you do all this
in just six months?
124
00:05:47,982 --> 00:05:50,852
Without you holding me back, I conquered the world in two months.
125
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:55,158
Then I took a cooking class.
126
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:57,662
Can't you see that
this is just wrong?
127
00:05:57,724 --> 00:05:59,634
"Wrong?" Hmm. Wrong...
128
00:05:59,694 --> 00:06:01,304
-Is that a real word?
-(GLASS SHATTERS)
129
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:02,902
-I don't think so, no.
-(CAT YOWLS)
130
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,203
Oh, that is
so your car, Dastardly.
131
00:06:05,266 --> 00:06:07,626
Strip them for parts.
132
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:08,901
(ALL SCREAMING)
133
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:10,999
-(SIREN WAILING)
-(CHUCKLES)
134
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:12,571
Car, do something!
135
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,340
CAR:I challenge the Mean Machine to a race.
136
00:06:15,409 --> 00:06:19,049
And if I win, you will let I.Q. go.
137
00:06:19,113 --> 00:06:20,913
I say, what about
the rest of us?
138
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:22,681
Fine. Them, too.
139
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,150
MEAN MACHINE:You wish to race me? Ha! I accept.
140
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:30,219
-(CROWD CHEERING)
-Racers, into positions!
141
00:06:30,291 --> 00:06:32,791
Uh, you don't all
have to ride along.
142
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:34,699
Pipe down,
you pint-sized pipsqueak.
143
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:37,432
-I'm not missing this.
-I think it's better if we all stick together.
144
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,728
(GRUNTS) I'm definitely
stuck to something.
145
00:06:39,801 --> 00:06:42,301
It's my new hair gel.
Try to look bouncy and full-bodied.
146
00:06:42,370 --> 00:06:46,140
(LAUGHS) Okay. Ooh. Ooh.
How am I doing?
147
00:06:46,207 --> 00:06:49,707
On your mark,
get set, go!
148
00:06:49,776 --> 00:06:52,676
(ALL CLAMORING)
149
00:06:52,747 --> 00:06:55,277
CAR:Would you stop it? I know how to drive.
150
00:06:55,350 --> 00:06:58,720
MEAN MACHINE:Nice try, but those humans just make it easier
151
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:01,316
for me to make this a blow out.
152
00:07:01,389 --> 00:07:03,189
Get it? Blow out?
153
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,357
-(MEAN MACHINE LAUGHS)
-(ALL YELLING)
154
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:06,686
I.Q.: Evasive maneuver!
PENELOPE: Look out!
155
00:07:06,761 --> 00:07:09,201
CAR:Stop shouting. I have air bags.
156
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:10,903
(ALL CLAMORING)
157
00:07:10,965 --> 00:07:13,425
-(ALARM BLARING)
-CAR:Warning. Dip in road ahead.
158
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,900
(ALL ARGUING)
159
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:20,910
(ALL SCREAMING)
160
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,284
We're in the lead.
161
00:07:22,343 --> 00:07:23,443
Now stop and set up
a complicated track.
162
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:24,681
-Turn to the left.
-Too late.
163
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:26,105
Fast. Good.
164
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:28,150
What kind of race car
doesn't have bombs?
165
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:29,545
-How's my hair?
-I'm fine.
166
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:30,846
I can drive if you want.
167
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:32,318
No, I know what I'm doing.
168
00:07:32,386 --> 00:07:34,116
CAR:This is giving me a circuit ache.
169
00:07:34,189 --> 00:07:37,859
Let me drive. It's not like I even have a steering wheel.
170
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:39,385
Hey, that's right.
171
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,900
You don't really drive
this thing, do you?
172
00:07:41,963 --> 00:07:45,373
I'm only 10 years old.
I can't get a license yet.
173
00:07:45,433 --> 00:07:47,173
Yeah, that's right,
home viewers.
174
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,144
TheWacky Races recommend
all children wait
175
00:07:49,204 --> 00:07:53,714
until they're at least
12 years old to drive in competive car races.
176
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,244
(SCREAMING)
177
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:58,709
But, you go right ahead
and sky dive all you like.
178
00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:00,079
(SCREAMING)
179
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:03,077
Oh, that seems like
very irresponsible--
180
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,020
Alligator wrestling
is fine, too.
181
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,545
-(ALLIGATOR GROWLS)
-(GRUNTS)
182
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,720
(SCREAMING)
183
00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:11,559
(ALL ARGUING)
184
00:08:11,626 --> 00:08:13,556
MEAN MACHINE:Even if you win, Car,
185
00:08:13,628 --> 00:08:16,958
this world is still mine!
(LAUGHS)
186
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:21,000
(ALL ARGUING)
187
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,068
Car's doing it.
We're gonna win!
188
00:08:23,137 --> 00:08:25,107
CAR:Okay, that's it.
189
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,472
ALL: What?
190
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,410
CAR:I've had enough of you guys.
191
00:08:28,476 --> 00:08:30,076
-Everybody out.
-(SCREAMING)
192
00:08:30,144 --> 00:08:33,884
-I'll finish this race myself.
-(CARS CHEERING)
193
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,477
Okay, I didn't expect that.
194
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:40,420
-(TIRES SCREECHING)
-(ALL SCREAMING)
195
00:08:40,488 --> 00:08:42,258
CAR:I have had enough of humans.
196
00:08:42,324 --> 00:08:44,894
-I want to join the automotive revolution.
-(OTHERS GASP)
197
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:45,958
MEAN MACHINE:You do?
198
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,256
Traitor!
199
00:08:47,328 --> 00:08:49,668
Car! I... I thought
we were friends.
200
00:08:49,731 --> 00:08:53,471
CAR:You eat spaghetti in me and hide toenail clippings under my floor mats.
201
00:08:53,534 --> 00:08:55,444
-(ALL GASP)
-Ew!
202
00:08:55,503 --> 00:08:57,013
Toenail clippings
sound delicious.
203
00:08:57,071 --> 00:08:59,341
CAR:Mean Machine, as a gesture of good faith,
204
00:08:59,406 --> 00:09:01,036
I offer to complete your upgrade.
205
00:09:01,109 --> 00:09:03,979
It will make you as smart and advanced as me.
206
00:09:04,045 --> 00:09:09,045
MEAN MACHINE:I accept! A new era of complete car-topia begins today.
207
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,816
CAR:Sounds good to me.
208
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,494
PENELOPE:
Don't do it, Car!
209
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,693
CAR:I'll just establish a link.
210
00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:15,764
That should do it.
211
00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:17,122
(MEAN MACHINE LAUGHS)
212
00:09:17,191 --> 00:09:19,931
Nothing can stop me now! Nothing!
213
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:22,003
MEAN MACHINE:Error. Error.
214
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:25,402
Personality is being erased!
215
00:09:25,466 --> 00:09:29,436
Been tricked!
216
00:09:29,503 --> 00:09:31,943
CAR:No one messes with my I.Q.
217
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:33,135
PENELOPE: Way to go, Car!
218
00:09:33,207 --> 00:09:34,507
You sure had me fooled.
219
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,705
Wet paint
could fool you, Perfect.
220
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:39,446
(LAUGHS) No, it couldn't.
221
00:09:39,513 --> 00:09:41,783
CAR:Sorry if I had you worried, boss.
222
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:43,318
You were great.
223
00:09:43,384 --> 00:09:45,794
Just for that, I'm getting you
a new air freshener.
224
00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:48,723
CAR:Ugh. I need it after Dastardly's visit.
225
00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:51,659
So it's another happy ending
with everything back to normal.
226
00:09:51,726 --> 00:09:53,886
The sky is blue,
the grass is green.
227
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,300
I'm super tight and handsome.
228
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,802
Yes, we are.
229
00:09:57,865 --> 00:10:02,515
But society
is still destroyed.
230
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,114
(ANGRY GROANING)
231
00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:06,942
What?
It was all Muttley's fault.
232
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:08,177
(YELLING)
233
00:10:08,242 --> 00:10:12,252
(ALL SCREAMING)
234
00:10:12,313 --> 00:10:13,413
How very pedestrian.
235
00:10:13,481 --> 00:10:15,551
Art is wasted on the masses.
236
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:19,816
(UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
237
00:10:23,257 --> 00:10:25,457
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
238
00:10:25,507 --> 00:10:30,057
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