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1
00:00:01,234 --> 00:00:04,384
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:19,586 --> 00:00:22,256
(SNICKERING)
3
00:00:22,322 --> 00:00:24,722
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
4
00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:37,334
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
5
00:00:58,091 --> 00:00:59,591
(LAUGHING)
6
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:15,839
(DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES)
7
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:23,783
(BLEATS)
8
00:01:37,197 --> 00:01:41,597
I'm okay.
9
00:01:41,668 --> 00:01:44,368
(ALL LAUGHING)
10
00:01:44,439 --> 00:01:47,369
Oh, my stars and garters.
That was a good one.
11
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,441
Oh, best time of my lives.
12
00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:51,379
-Fun.
-(SCREAMS)
13
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,945
Greatest race ever!
14
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:54,823
Truly, a stimulating
spectacle,
15
00:01:54,883 --> 00:01:58,253
that I surmise,
thrilled and chilled our abundant audience.
16
00:01:58,319 --> 00:02:01,259
-(CRICKET CHIRPING)
-Or not.
17
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:04,132
I don't understand.
Where was everybody?
18
00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:06,331
There are all off watching
reality TV shows
19
00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:08,564
that allow an emotionally
cauterized generation
20
00:02:08,630 --> 00:02:12,670
to bask in the pain
of sad, lonely people, desperate for attention.
21
00:02:12,734 --> 00:02:16,874
That's why the shadowy elites
who control programming at the Wacky Sports Networks,
22
00:02:16,937 --> 00:02:18,767
the Illuminati,
23
00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:22,940
have sent over a new
development executive to spice up the show.
24
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:24,010
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
25
00:02:24,078 --> 00:02:26,608
-I'm back!
-(SCREAMS)
26
00:02:26,681 --> 00:02:29,781
It's her, the crazy fan lady
who wants to live in my blood.
27
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,820
You are the new
development executive?
28
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:33,545
Me? Oh, no, no, no.
29
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:36,791
What a crazy little bag
of meat and gravy you are.
30
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,057
I'm not interested
in television.
31
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:42,126
I'm just here to see
my widdle-piddle-pidikin.
32
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:44,366
So, where
is the new executive?
33
00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:48,172
I gotta go, Sid,
I got a meeting. Kisses.
34
00:02:48,235 --> 00:02:50,135
You're just a mindless puppet.
35
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,874
How are you qualified
to run a television show?
36
00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:54,910
Oh wait, I may have just
answered my own question.
37
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:57,345
Shall we get started?
Does anyone need water?
38
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,711
Racers, I don't want you
to think of me
39
00:02:59,781 --> 00:03:04,451
as some super powerful,
tantrum throwing, amoral studio executive
40
00:03:04,519 --> 00:03:06,489
who is here to completely
change your show
41
00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:08,623
on some half thought out whim.
42
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,889
I'm on your side,
I love your show.
43
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,428
I wouldn't change a thing.
44
00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,903
Ah, that's very good to hear
because we were very--
45
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:16,462
Yeah, we're changing
everything.
46
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:17,530
Wow, big surprise.
47
00:03:17,597 --> 00:03:18,967
But we're a race show.
48
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:21,543
You're a race show
nobody watches.
49
00:03:21,603 --> 00:03:23,773
Maybe, I don't know,
if you advertised it more?
50
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,567
Or at all.
51
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,480
(SCOFFS) Well, as any
television executive could tell you,
52
00:03:27,542 --> 00:03:29,712
the best way to appeal
to a young audience
53
00:03:29,778 --> 00:03:34,578
looking for bold,
fresh ideas is with familiar formula shows.
54
00:03:34,648 --> 00:03:37,048
-What does that--
-Sitcoms!
55
00:03:37,118 --> 00:03:41,618
(PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING)
56
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:44,538
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
57
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,877
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
58
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:55,249
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)
59
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:02,924
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
60
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,554
(HUMMING)
61
00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:12,246
-Honey.
-(APPLAUSE)
62
00:04:12,319 --> 00:04:15,659
Tiny home.
63
00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:16,962
I'm just making dinner,
64
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,834
because even though
I have a career,
65
00:04:18,893 --> 00:04:20,803
it's my job to keep
the house in order, care for the children,
66
00:04:20,862 --> 00:04:25,132
and be the underused
comic foil for derivative one liners.
67
00:04:25,199 --> 00:04:26,799
How was work, dear?
68
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,637
Work! (GRUNTS)
69
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:29,772
AUDIENCE: Aww.
70
00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:31,607
Ugh, you kids today.
71
00:04:31,673 --> 00:04:33,943
When I was your age
I was happy to have a hole to sleep in.
72
00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:36,778
(GRUNTS AND YAWNS)
Good morning!
73
00:04:36,845 --> 00:04:41,715
-Get him, he's evil.
He's evil. Get him. -(SCREAMING)
74
00:04:41,783 --> 00:04:45,753
Down, boy. I told you we
should've gotten a werewolf.
75
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,249
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
76
00:04:47,321 --> 00:04:50,061
-(CHUCKLES) Oh, Grandpa.
-(DOORBELL RINGS)
77
00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:54,855
It's me. Your non-threatening,
next-door neighbor who shows up for no reason.
78
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:59,828
That was my only line.
79
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:01,070
Hello, Officer Perfect.
80
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,465
Would you like
this pie I baked
81
00:05:02,537 --> 00:05:04,207
while I was figuring out
how to tell my husband
82
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:06,541
the nasty email he sent me
about his boss,
83
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:11,547
he accidentally sent
to the entire office and he's fired.
84
00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:14,051
Office politics. Bad.
85
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:16,084
Hmm. Who is that audience
pleasing rascal?
86
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:18,120
Why he's that smart,
elegant neighborhood child
87
00:05:18,186 --> 00:05:22,516
who is constantly barging
into the house to deliver his signature catchphrase.
88
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:25,129
Where's the party?
89
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:28,342
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
90
00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:41,139
But I'm more than
just your neighbor,
91
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:45,978
I'm your long-lost son.
92
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,646
And I'm yours.
93
00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:50,815
Gah?
94
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,294
Tiny!
95
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:56,624
As your crusty and easily
confused boss from work,
96
00:05:56,691 --> 00:06:00,901
I've come to tell you,
you can keep your job.
97
00:06:00,962 --> 00:06:04,032
No one else can
reach the intern cages on the top shelf.
98
00:06:04,098 --> 00:06:06,068
But you don't have to
go back, Tiny.
99
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,203
Because I'm secretly
an eccentric billionaire.
100
00:06:08,270 --> 00:06:12,870
And you can all come live
with me on my private island made of candy.
101
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:14,710
ALL: Yay!
102
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:18,075
And there's the party.
103
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:20,975
Maybe not.
Sitcoms can be kind of...
104
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,848
-Predictable?
-Slap-your-mamma bad?
105
00:06:22,917 --> 00:06:26,047
Horribly written by rooms full
of half-witted howler monkeys?
106
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:27,920
No. Star vehicles.
107
00:06:27,989 --> 00:06:31,229
They get huge egos, they start
making crazy demands.
108
00:06:31,292 --> 00:06:33,762
This latte is not made
with dolphin milk foam.
109
00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:38,828
I can't work like this,
I'll be in my trailer.
110
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,740
We need something
new and fresh.
111
00:06:41,803 --> 00:06:44,713
Maybe we should just steal
something from the Internet.
112
00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:45,771
I have a show on the Internet.
113
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,639
You made a web show? How?
114
00:06:47,709 --> 00:06:52,179
-Doesn't that take talent?
-Not at all, I'll show you.
115
00:06:52,246 --> 00:06:54,716
♪ Slap Slap, slap danger
116
00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:58,952
♪ I'm a rule-breaking maverickwho gets the job done Slap ♪
117
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:02,419
Thank you, ma'am.
That'll be, like, $12.97.
118
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:05,030
-Yeah, I have a coupon.
-(GROWLING)
119
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:09,142
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING)
120
00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:16,604
Dude, we put the breakable
stuff, like, on top.
121
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,240
Oh, do you?
122
00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:21,935
Well, that's fine
and good for you pencil pushers downtown.
123
00:07:22,010 --> 00:07:25,510
But here on the streets
we have to cut corners to get things done.
124
00:07:25,580 --> 00:07:27,580
Not to heavy, please,
young man.
125
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:30,278
My arms snap
like toothpicks if I try...
126
00:07:30,351 --> 00:07:31,591
Do I come to your house
127
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,352
and tell you how
to sit by the phone
128
00:07:33,421 --> 00:07:37,191
and wait for your grandkids
to not call? Do I? Do I?
129
00:07:37,258 --> 00:07:38,458
(SCREAMING)
130
00:07:38,525 --> 00:07:40,055
(CRASHES)
131
00:07:40,128 --> 00:07:43,958
OLD LADY:
He's a rule-breaking maverick, but he gets the job done.
132
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,731
I'm getting too old
for this stuff.
133
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:49,099
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
134
00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:57,037
During every second
of that, I could hear my brain screaming.
135
00:07:57,111 --> 00:07:58,681
(SCREAMING)
136
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,575
That's wonderful.
137
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,217
We'll buy it twice.
138
00:08:02,284 --> 00:08:05,424
And you'll need
an assistant to work very, very close to you,
139
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:08,216
-won't you, Petey-Weteykins?
-I sure will.
140
00:08:08,289 --> 00:08:11,389
-(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
-Who's that?
141
00:08:11,459 --> 00:08:13,689
My assistant.
He went to Princeton.
142
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,660
I'll take it from here.
143
00:08:15,730 --> 00:08:17,970
You just sit there
and hope no one notices all the work you've had done.
144
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,571
(SCREAMING) No!
145
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:20,473
I knew it.
146
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:22,644
Hey, now. That's kind of--
147
00:08:22,704 --> 00:08:25,574
He's so insecure, he uses
his looks to distract people from his total lack of talent.
148
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,710
And he cries himself
to sleep at night.
149
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:29,714
That's not good assisting.
150
00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:31,406
He has 11 toes.
151
00:08:31,479 --> 00:08:33,109
I hate you, I hate you,
I hate you.
152
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,580
Creatives, right?
153
00:08:34,649 --> 00:08:38,389
-I like him.
-Ideas all bad.
154
00:08:38,452 --> 00:08:40,052
Okay, then. What about music?
155
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,560
I mean, everybody
loves music, right?
156
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:46,633
ALL:♪ Do the wacky disco
157
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,834
♪ Do the wacky Do the wacky
158
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:52,496
♪ Turn around and jump Shake it, shake it
159
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,936
♪ We're wacky Oh, so wacky
160
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,772
♪ Now you're really having fun
161
00:08:56,838 --> 00:08:58,868
♪ 'Cause you know that it's the time to wacky disco
162
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:00,069
(GRUNTING)
163
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,940
(INDISTINCT)
164
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:04,679
♪ Do the wacky ♪
165
00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:06,284
(ALL GRUNTING)
166
00:09:06,348 --> 00:09:10,478
Nah, animated shows
never really pull off musical numbers.
167
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,490
I agree.
168
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,592
You are the worst
assistant ever.
169
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:16,964
Ah, oh, ah!
And you're hurting my hand.
170
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:18,834
What we need is something
so simple
171
00:09:18,893 --> 00:09:22,133
that even an American
audience can instantly grasp the concept.
172
00:09:22,196 --> 00:09:23,966
Like racing.
173
00:09:24,032 --> 00:09:26,802
Something with
incredibly simple rules and pointless danger.
174
00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:28,167
Like racing.
175
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,295
Something with cool cars
we can make toys of.
176
00:09:30,371 --> 00:09:31,641
He's going to say racing.
177
00:09:31,706 --> 00:09:33,736
-Something fast.
-He's going to say racing.
178
00:09:33,808 --> 00:09:36,078
-Something furious.
-He's going to say racing.
179
00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:38,113
-Something like...
-ALL: Racing.
180
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,548
-Like...
-ALL: Racing.
181
00:09:40,613 --> 00:09:41,613
Bowling!
182
00:09:41,681 --> 00:09:42,851
ALL: What?
183
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,846
Nah, wait. Racing!
184
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:48,068
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
185
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:53,361
(CRYING)
186
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,827
-Hands on.
-(GIGGLING)
187
00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,226
(CRYING)
188
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,167
Blah!
189
00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:00,643
(MUSIC STOPS)
190
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,871
What? I replaced you
with younger drivers.
191
00:10:02,937 --> 00:10:05,207
This is television,
what did you expect?
192
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:09,812
I hate this show.
193
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:13,146
♪ Slap danger
194
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,383
♪ Slap, slap
195
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:18,149
♪ He's a rule-breaking maverick
196
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:21,758
♪ Who gets the job done
197
00:10:21,822 --> 00:10:25,092
♪ Carrots
198
00:10:25,159 --> 00:10:27,259
♪ Slap danger
199
00:10:27,328 --> 00:10:28,978
(INAUDIBLE)
200
00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:35,166
♪ This guy
201
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:41,284
♪ Don't cry
202
00:10:41,342 --> 00:10:43,112
♪ Caution
203
00:10:43,177 --> 00:10:45,177
♪ Bana gun
204
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:50,245
Clean up on aisle 6, again.
205
00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:57,871
♪ Slap danger ♪
206
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,373
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
207
00:11:05,423 --> 00:11:09,973
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