Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNICKERING)

(HAPPY MUSIC PLAYING)

(CATS MEOWING)

♪ We're kitties, we're kittiesWe laugh and scratch and play

♪ We're never too anxious Because we sleep all day

♪ We're perfect, we're happy We've never ever sad

♪ We frolic in puddlesOur parents don't get mad

♪ We're kitties, we're kittiesOur purr can right all wrongs

♪ We like eating sushi We cuddle and sing songs

♪ We're kitties, we're kittiesOur eyes are big as moons

♪ We're kit... ♪

(MEOWING) Out of my way, you fecklessly ferocious felines.

Hey, this road is littered with kitties.

Dastardly, you need to be more careful.

(DASTARDLY) Aye, I'm continuously careful, Pitstop.

My every contrivance is circumspectly calculated,

and cunningly choreographed to cause constant acclamation.

Where are we?

We're in the Catskill Mountains, Mr. Dastardly.

DASTARDLY: Yes, that's what it says in the catalog. PETER: Catchy name.

Are you sure?

Categorically.

(MEOWING)

Please pass Catsup.

The producers have asked me to apologize

for the number of very bad puns in today's episode.

But especially for the cruddy way

cats have been treated during this entire series.

It's really just no excuse.

Everybody knows, little kitties are just the sweetest,

most cuddly-wuddly... (CATS GROWLING)

Uh-oh! (SCREAMING)

(CATS MEOWING) I'm not even in this episode.

Muttley, call up our cutting edge catalog

of cat-based contrivances concocted to catalyze

our victory in this cartoon contest.

What catastrophic contraption shall we commence with?

The catapult, cat cannon, catalytic converter, cat-o-nine-tails, cat-o-rang.

Oho! I know!

Cast our complete cataclysmic catalog.

(MEOWING)

(MEOWING)

Well, hello.

Would you little fellas like my autograph...

(SCREAMING)

Oh my stars and kitties... (SCREAMING)

I.Q.: Sorry, Mr. Dastardly,

but your weapons won't work on me and car.

CAR:I have built-in defenses against every manner of hamster, goldfish, eel,

aardvark, wombat, puma, blue whale, and feline-based weaponry.

Yes, but can you resist an adorable kitten?

CAR:Oh, my. Isn't she just precious? Can I keep her?

Car, no! I'm allergic to cats.

(SCREAMING)

No use caterwauling, you kitty calculator.

I'm crossing that fetching finish first.

Oh, what's this?

(MEOWING)

An even grander golden to aggrandize my greatness.

Ugh!

(CATS MEOWING MENACINGLY)

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh! (GROWLING) Ooh!

(CATS MEOWING MENACINGLY)

(LAUGHING)

Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh!

Let me go, you dogged doggerel!

Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh!

Uh-uh! Uh-uh! Uh-uh!

(BOTH EXCLAIM)

(CATS MEOWING)

TINY: Pretty!

Dastardly really did make those cats mad.

Uh, do you guys feel like we're being watched?

(MEOWING MENACINGLY)

Uh-oh!

(NERVOUSLY) Nice kitties!

(MEOWING AND SCREAMING)

What's going on? Where am I? Where is my trophy?

Why is earth getting smaller? Is it allowed to do that?

Muttley! Go out there and make the earth big again.

Huh?

What kind of bouldering henchmutt can't even be counted on

to make one little planet bigger?

Oh, never mind!

Just get me a Wacky Wizzo Water from that vending machine.

(GROANS)

Mmm?

(EXCLAIMS)

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

Uh-oh!

(GRUNTING)

(SCREAMS)

MUTTLEY: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

(MUTTLEY GRUNTING)

(DRYER BLOWING)

(MUTTLEY SCREAMING) (CATS MEOWING)

What's taking you so long?

Hmm?

Oh, I'll just get it myself.

(EXCLAIMS)

Muttley, somehow this is all your fault.

(MUTTERING)

Worse? How could it be worse?

Drat! Ah!

(SNICKERING)

Muttley, look! There's a small smattering of civilization over there.

My innate affability and acute appeal will assure our acceptance

by the alien inhabitants of this strange and slightly outre sphere.

MUTTLEY: Ugh!

(GIRL MEOWING)

Salutations, aliens.

I am from a planet called... Yes, why are you doing that?

Um, hello... Yes. (MEOWING)

Yes, stop that. Please go away.

Hello. Are you in charge here? (RETCHES)

Yes, thank you, that's incredibly disgusting.

Can you understand me?

FEMALE VOICE: Aww, aren't you just the sweetest things?

Yes, you are. (HUMANS MEOWING)

Ah, at last! Characters we can communicate with.

Excuse me, dear people. I am a stranger...

(BOTH EXCLAIM)

Talking cats!

BOTH: Aah! A talking human!

MUTTLEY: Huh?

(ALL MUTTERING ANGRILY)

Okay, this is all your fault.

Great adjudi-cat-ors,

before you preens the accused.

And what crime is the human accused of?

Has he left fur on the sofa? No.

Has he spilled his litter box? No.

Has he come when called, and been playful and affectionate

instead of cold and aloof?

Worse. The human spoke!

Ridiculous! Humans can't talk!

Get your stinking claws off me, you crass, crummy cat!

Huh? It speaks?

My illicit erudition is indubitable, irrefutable and incontrovertible.

The high scion cat will discover the truth of this thing.

Call Dr. Z.

Calling Dr. Z.

Calling Dr. Z.

Calling Dr. Z.

Well? He's ignoring us and looking out the window.

Oh. Put out a saucer of milk.

Mm-hmm.

You wanted something?

This human can apparently speak.

Nonsense!

Humans are just primitive animals

we pretend love us,

so we don't realize how horrible we are at real relationships.

I can too speak!

I speak, talk, chat, babble, jabber, prattle, pontificate, communicate, oratate,

elucidate, lecture, gab, grouse, harangue and chew the fat!

Hmm, I shall investigate this

using the latest, most advanced scientific methods.

After careful scientific examination,

I have come to the conclusion that this human is not actually speaking,

but merely mimicking sounds he has heard,

like any dumb animal might.

What? My intelligence is unimpeachable, undisputed and unmatched.

Just ask Muttley.

Who is this Muttley?

The jibbering man-thing had a companion.

Bring him forth.

Oh, I cannot bear its visage.

What is it?

Oh, that's just Muttley, my dog.

Dog? Dog?

Dog?

Let's get out of here, Muttley.

(YELLING)

(TRAIN HORN TOOTING)

(ELEPHANT TRUMPETING)

What do we do now?

Drat, Muttley, do something!

Muttley!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

What kind of terrible alien world

is ruled by super-intelligent cats?

We have to get back to earth.

We are still on earth.

They finally did it!

They let cats take over the world.

No, wait, that's ridiculous. How could that even happen?

Because of you, primitive one.

Huh? Huh? Who are you?

I am Fidonius Rex, Leader of the muttants of the Go Away Zone.

We are a race of mutant canines

with weird advanced mind powers.

Yes, of course you are.

So how did cats take over the world?

Cats' natural instinct is to domesticate all other creatures.

But in the distant past, the evil meow things were kept under paw

by the constant effort of The Great Snickering One.

(SNICKERING)

Muttley! That's you!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that's me.

(SNICKERING)

But one terrible day,long ago... Meow!

...the evil pointy-eared things sent our hero away.

Without the mighty deeds of the Snickering One and his pets,

they rose up and conquered the world!

It has long been prophesized that one day,

the Great Snickering One will return,

and lead us against the scratchy, hissy things,

and this world willbecome a planet of mutts.

You know, Muttley,

this place may work out for us after all.

Today, cat city! Tomorrow, the world!

Muttants, attack!

(CATS MEOWING)

CAT: Look! (SQUAWKING)

An army of super-intelligent evil penguins!

(CHIRPS)

Over there! It's a squad of hyper hamsters. Ah!

(TURKEYS GOBBLING)

An armada of alien Turkeys!

This is getting out of hand.

Muttley, I think a strategic withdrawal is called for.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Angry aardvarks!

(GRUNTING)

Malcontent mackerels!

Resentful rodents!

CAT: Huffy huffy hippos!

(ALL) Sushi!

CAT: Unsympathetic sushi!

Can you imagine it, Muttley?

A world where lowly, primitive animals

rose up and conquered mankind.

How ridiculous!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or is it?

(SNICKERING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0