Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNICKERING)

(CRUNCHING)

LORD DAST: I call forth all the malignant, maladjusted,

magically malformed malingering mutations of the Dastlands,

to attend your terrible tyrant

and devilish despot.

I, the evil wizard lord Dast--

TOADY: I'm not coming up there.

-Why not? -Because you'd do something evil to me.

Oh, no. I won't.

(GRUNTING) Ow, ow, ooh!

See? Evil.

(SNICKERING)

Attend, moldering minion.

After strenuous searching

I learned the last location

of the pendant of prodigious prestidigitation.

Once I possess that awesome amulet,

I will control all magic in Wacky Earth.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where is it, my cruel and capricious underlord?

The pendant is possessed

by a pusillanimously pleasant peasant

in the Goodlands.

Muttley, you will lead the fiendishly foul smelling funky flying muttleys,

and get me that pendant.

Now, fly!

Fly, my foul flunkies!

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

(SNIFFING) No. No. No!

(UNICORN SNORTING)

(GRUNTING)

(EXHALES)

(HUMMING)

Oh, sweet tea and happy berries,

what a glorious day.

Morning, Aunty Barnstorm.

How are you this lovely day?

(STRAINS, GRUNTS)

What is so lovely...

(GRUNTS) ...about farm that only grows rocks? (GROANS)

-(SCREAMS) -BOTH: Daddy!

Do your chores and get dim-witted farm boy to help you.

(GRUNTING)

Farm boy! Oh, farm boy.

Farm boy Dim, at your service.

Good morning, Dim but goodhearted farm boy.

Can you help me...

Shovel the goats? Milk the rocks?

Plough the roof?

Help me with these rocks, so Aunty Barnstorm can make breakfast.

Uh-huh. (CHUCKLING)

Oh, Aunty.

I'd love my rock over-easy today.

We don't cook rocks, Dim farm boy.

(THUD)

Okay, scrambled then.

Yo, look. It's Lord Dast's funky flying monkies.

(FARTING)

(GASPING)

(ALL SNICKERING)

Oh! Hup!

I'll protect you, Penelope.

Farm boy, how can you fight if you can't even see?

A hero fights not with his eyes, but with his heart.

And his left shoe.

Mmm. Bring it.

(ALL SCREAMING)

(EXCLAIMS)

Take that, you snickering fiends!

(THUDDING)

(BURPING)

(EXCLAIMING)

(MUTTLEYS FARTING)

I don't want to be rude, but could you take a quick bath?

(GRUNTS)

(SNICKERING)

Why, those unwashed underdogs stole my pendant.

You know what this means.

A magical quest!

(BLOWING)

Whistle.

-(THUD) -(ALL GRUNT)

Beam 'em up, Barney.

I'm booking a first-class flight to wizard Q-Zar.

(CHUCKLING)

And with this final drop, I will create a potion

to bring peace and love to all of Wacky Earth.

(LAUGHING)

(EXPLOSION)

Too much eye of newt.

(BELL DINGING)

So how do you know this guy?

You never heard of Q-Zar?

His face is on every bus stop bench in the Goodlands.

(GASPS)

(ALL SCREAMING)

Right now, I wish his face were here.

-(DIM GRUNTS) -Um, hi.

Oh, sure.

You can open a door but you can't find your own head.

(SIGHS) Thanks.

Now what can I do for you?

I'm a poor peasant girl

whose magic pendant has been stolen evil Lord Dast.

I need your help to get it back.

Lord Dast? (SIGHS)

As his half-brother,

I can tell you that he's as evil as they come.

(SCREAMING)

And he gives a mean Wet Wilbur.

Let me get my magic bag.

(MUTTLEYS FARTING)

At last, the pendant is mine.

Now,

which one of you has the girl?

-ALL: Huh? -What girl?

The girl who knows the mystical incantation.

Without that the pendant is worthless.

I'm not sure you mentioned that part.

Never mind.

If you want something done right, do it yourself.

(LORD DAST CACKLES)

It seems Penelope Peasant and her merry marching misfits

are on a quest to recover the pendant.

And they've joined forces

with my uber-dweeby half-brother, Q-Zar.

You have a half-brother?

Where's his other half?

Those goody-goodies will be forced to go through the bodacious bog of Boxwell Cox,

and my boogie monster will be there waiting for them.

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

This is bog is just awful.

I kind of like it.

Of course you do.

(GROWLING)

Oogie, boogie, boogie.

Uh... Is that it?

Boogie, boogie-- Yeah, pretty much.

What kind of monster are you?

Maybe he's not a monster at all.

So then why do villagers call me "the boogie monster"?

Aside from your monstery exterior and glowing eyes--

(FLY SCREAMS)

I'm guessing it's because you say boogie, boogie, boogie a lot.

Well, if I'd known I wasn't a monster,

I would've kept my job at the bank

instead of moving to a filthy horrible bog.

Why don't you join us, darling?

Okay, anything beats sitting in the bog.

I kind of like it. It's squishy.

Oh, bog!

Drat! That pleasant peasant

just lured away a member of my terrible team!

All right, Toady.

It's up to you to bamboozle this buffoonish

band of bumpkins.

Yes, my Dark Lord.

I'll hop right to it.

It's awfully quiet here.

Too quiet.

(FROGS CROAKING)

We are the terrible talking toads of Tarragon Terrace.

Not as woeful as the wailing weasels of Westport,

the muttering monkeys of Monrovia,

or a boy band.

But still terrible enough to take you as our prisoners.

I refuse to be taken prisoner by overgrown frogs.

Ah!

Let's get them!

(ALL YELL)

(GRUNTING)

Hey! Ugh, ick.

Oh! If only my little brother was here to save us.

(GROWLING)

Hey, it's my little brother, Tiny, the berserker troll.

What a coincidence.

(TINY GROWLING)

Good. (VOMITS)

Ugh! Double ick.

(CHOMPS)

No, no, no.

Well, I'm just getting started.

Time to pull out the big guns!

(GROWLING)

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

This is my brother's kingdom.

A vast wasteland of broken dreams, dire despair

and poor landscaping.

From this point on, we must be very quiet.

Our plan completely depends on the element of surprise.

Surprise!

(ALL GASPING)

We're here for her necklace. And we're prepared

for anything you can throw at us.

Oh, yeah?

Muttstrosity, attack!

-(GROWLING) -(SCREAMING)

I wasn't prepared for that.

We need a new plan.

Heroes don't make plans. Heroes take action.

-To battle! -No, no. Plans are good. Heroes need plans.

-Charge! -(SIGHS) Go figure.

(GROWLING)

Ha-ha!

-(THUDDING) -(GRUNTING)

Let's get him!

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

-(GROWLS) -LORD DAST: It's only a matter of time

until my monstrosity destroys your friends.

But in the meantime, what do you say

we engage in a full on wizard's war!

Bring it!

(YELPS) Titius Vitium!

Fear-of-speaking-in-public spell!

Huh? (GROWLS)

Time for my secret weapon.

(GRUNTS)

No dog can resist a scratch behind the ears.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

Incantation of Bilious Balletomania!

-Weasel! -(YELPS)

-Ratus! -Perilinious Felinus!

Gibbous shark!

Viperous snake!

I'll just take my pendant now.

Look out, Penelope. It's a snake!

-(THUDDING) -(PENELOPE EXCLAIMING)

Unless you want me to give him the hug to end all hugs,

I'd advise you to give me the incantation.

Don't do it, Pene. I can take his snakely squeezing all day.

(GRUNTS) I got him right where he wants me!

No, no! Don't hurt him.

The incantation is Beaumont Mathison Johnson Surly.

At last, the power is mine!

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

With the power of the pendant,

I banish you all to the Netherlands!

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Uh, it's still better than the bog.

Farm boy, how long have you wanted to be a hero?

For as long as I can rember.

Which isn't much before yesterday.

Well, now is your chance.

-Get the pendant. -I'll do my absolute best.

I'm counting on it.

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

(EXCLAIMS)

-Sorry. -Huh? (GRUNTS)

(GULPS, COUGHS)

-Hmm... -(CRACKS)

Oops. Uh...

What have you done? My power is slipping away!

Drat, drat and double drat.

Oh, what a delimited world!

-What a-- -(SLURPING)

(LAUGHS)

Farm boy, you saved us.

But I messed up and broke the pendant.

I was counting on it.

Destroying the pendant was the only way to take away Dast's powers.

(THUNDERCLAP)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(LAUGHS, GRUNTS)

Wait! Something's gone terribly wrong!

The vortex is draining my magic, too.

What happened?

When Penelope's amulet broke

it destroyed all enchanted energy.

We now live in a reality

completely without magic.

Kinda dull, isn't it?

So who wants to watch TV?

-I guess so. -Sure, okay, why not?

-(GROANS) -As long as it's not cartoons.

(SNICKERING)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0