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1
00:00:01,268 --> 00:00:04,418
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:21,119
(SNICKERING)
3
00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:28,625
(DASTARDLY LAUGHING
MANIACALLY)
4
00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:30,396
(DASTARDLY LAUGHING
MANIACALLY)
5
00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:33,425
It sure is a lovely day
for a drive, isn't it?
6
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:34,500
(TIRES SCREECH)
7
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,068
It's a perfect day, I'd say.
8
00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:39,636
(TIRES SCREECH)
9
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,037
DASTARDLY: Marsupiums! Ahh!
10
00:00:41,107 --> 00:00:42,137
(CHUCKLES)
11
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:43,309
(PENELOPE SCREAMING)
12
00:00:43,378 --> 00:00:44,808
DASTARDLY: Prepare
to be passed, Perfect.
13
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:47,209
You know the drill.
(CHUCKLES)
14
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,650
Hmm. Uh-oh.
15
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:51,547
(TIRES SCREECHING)
16
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:52,888
Why, Dick, you old chum.
17
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:55,323
You look perfectly
smashing today.
18
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:58,389
(DASTARDLY GROANING)
19
00:01:00,494 --> 00:01:01,804
(DASTARDLY YELPS)
20
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:04,432
DASTARDLY: Muttley,
time to turn the tables.
21
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:06,668
(SNICKERING)
22
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:09,174
(WHIRRING)
23
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,966
(ALL YELLING)
24
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:15,039
DASTARDLY: No, no, no, no!
25
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:19,349
BELLA: Bernard,
give us a lift.
26
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,083
Go, bone daddy.
27
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:22,648
DASTARDLY:
Swing low, sweet chariots.
28
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:24,146
(BOTH WHIMPER)
29
00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:26,247
(ALL YELLING)
30
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:28,820
DASTARDLY: Oh, no!
Enough of this.
31
00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:32,389
Muttley, unleash the ultimate
weapon system.
32
00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,489
(DASTARDLY LAUGHS EVILLY)
33
00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:36,561
Pretty.
34
00:01:36,631 --> 00:01:40,071
That cunning collection
of concussive contractions is carefully calibrated
35
00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:44,444
to track and eradicate
any Wacky Race vehicle
36
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:46,874
compiled into this computer.
37
00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:49,081
Ah, including mine. Drat.
38
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:51,183
PETER: That can't be good.
DASTARDLY: Mommy!
39
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:53,675
Everyone, get as close
to Car as you can.
40
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:58,547
Car, activate
emergency shields.
41
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:01,857
I.Q., you saved us.
42
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,862
CAR: Oh, sure. He saved you.
43
00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,864
We're alive?
Well, then back to the race.
44
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:07,526
Come along, Muttley.
45
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:10,225
Dastardly, are you just gonna
drive away after... (GRUNTS)
46
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:13,028
-Look around!
-(SIZZLING)
47
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:15,800
Dastardly, sometimes
you are just awful.
48
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:17,269
MAN: (ECHOING)We agree.
49
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:19,008
Where did that
ominous voice come from?
50
00:02:19,073 --> 00:02:20,713
-(DISTANT TRILLING)
-And what's that noise?
51
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:21,844
(GASPING)
52
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:24,039
PENELOPE: Is that them?
53
00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:26,381
The ones who started it all.
54
00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:28,846
PETER: Bud and Jay.
55
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,016
-Who?
-Oh, yeah. You're new.
56
00:02:31,085 --> 00:02:33,815
Jay and Bud invented
the Wacky Races.
57
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:36,587
Hey, Jay, we should get jobs.
58
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,187
Bummer.
59
00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:41,029
Well, maybe we should produce
a TV show or something.
60
00:02:41,095 --> 00:02:42,855
What kind of show, man?
61
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,300
How about a show
about racing, man?
62
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:50,136
But isn't racing,
just making, like, left turns over and over?
63
00:02:50,203 --> 00:02:51,243
Oh, yeah.
64
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:55,435
But we can, like,
blow things up a lot.
65
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,379
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
66
00:02:58,446 --> 00:03:00,706
PENELOPE:After decades of running the Wacky Races,
67
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,451
they retired and disappeared.
68
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:05,616
No one's seen them since.
69
00:03:05,687 --> 00:03:09,217
Wow, cool.
But how do you know it's really them?
70
00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:10,089
(PETER GASPS)
71
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:13,757
(YELPING AND SCREAMS)
72
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:15,027
Classic.
73
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,055
(CHUCKLES)
It's them, all right.
74
00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:20,271
Tell us, oh, great makers,
why have you returned?
75
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:23,174
We have returned
from the great beyond...
76
00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:24,036
Vegas.
77
00:03:24,105 --> 00:03:25,905
Vegas, because of him.
78
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,313
-Uh...
-Me?
79
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,284
(WHISTLING)
80
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,042
Back in the day,
we had style,
81
00:03:30,111 --> 00:03:32,411
the gags were clever, they advanced the plot.
82
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:35,180
But Dastardly's random, pointless violence
83
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:36,619
is just over the top.
84
00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:38,253
And so is his acting.
85
00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:39,348
(EXCLAIMS) What?
86
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:43,420
(DRAMATICALLY) My acting?
Over the top?
87
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:46,190
How dare you, sir?
88
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,730
Richard Milhous Dastardly,
89
00:03:47,796 --> 00:03:51,896
you are hereby banned from
these Wacky Races. Forever.
90
00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:53,796
Oh, no! Oh!
91
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,537
(ALL GASPING)
92
00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:57,773
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
No, no, no, no. You can't do that.
93
00:03:57,838 --> 00:03:59,408
-Can they do that?
-I think they can.
94
00:03:59,474 --> 00:04:01,784
-Dastardly is
a terrible role model. -(CAT YOWLS)
95
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,582
There had to be standards.
96
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,554
Carefully practiced standards.
97
00:04:05,612 --> 00:04:06,912
-Like what?
-Okay.
98
00:04:06,981 --> 00:04:09,221
-You see this frying pan?
-Uh, yes?
99
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,123
Do you think
it would be funny to hit Dastardly
100
00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:12,785
over the head
with this frying pan?
101
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,293
-(CHUCKLES) Of course.
-You bet.
102
00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,485
-Well, you can't.
-(PAN CLANGS)
103
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,427
-(MAN SCREAMS)
-Children might imitate that kind of dangerous behavior.
104
00:04:18,493 --> 00:04:20,593
-Oh, good.
-This is okay, though.
105
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:23,331
What? (SCREAMING)
106
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:25,797
BUD: And this.
And this. And this.
107
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,796
And this. And this. And this.
108
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,598
And this. And this!
109
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:31,811
What about this?
110
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,172
Oh, that's okay too,
111
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,440
but you need to cover it
with impact flashes.
112
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:36,739
What's an impact flash?
113
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,710
-(CLANGS)
-(DASTARDLY SHRIEKS)
114
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,249
(SCREAMING)
115
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:43,875
Isn't there some way
to keep Dastardly on the show?
116
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,221
I'm appealing to you.
117
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,745
Jay?
118
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:49,960
(GROANING) Ow!
119
00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:51,994
Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.
120
00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:54,589
You are technically allowed
to plea for clemency
121
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:56,231
before a jury of your peers.
122
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:59,067
But be warned,
that decision will be final.
123
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,543
-We agree.
-I do?
124
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:03,201
-You do.
-Then prepare yourself the journey
125
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:05,740
into the in-betweens!
126
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:09,676
Muttley, this is
all your fault!
127
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,783
(SNICKERING)
128
00:05:11,846 --> 00:05:14,106
We're not actually going
in there to help him, are we?
129
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,681
Of course we are.
Dastardly is our friend.
130
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,050
(PETER GASPS)
131
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:20,348
This is not going to end well.
(EXCLAIMS)
132
00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,520
(ALL SHOUTING)
133
00:05:27,895 --> 00:05:30,355
-Where are we?
-The in-betweens.
134
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,331
A place formed
of the raw energy
135
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,600
that happens when
creativity meets marketing.
136
00:05:34,669 --> 00:05:37,939
Me and Bud spent a lot
of time here in the old days.
137
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,335
Yeah, it used to be
pretty busy.
138
00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:40,967
Not many come
around anymore.
139
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,881
PETER: The Hall
of Endless Judgment?
140
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,083
I.Q.: Like the Internet?
141
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:46,684
Come. You are expected.
142
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:50,187
(AUDIENCE MURMURS)
143
00:05:50,252 --> 00:05:55,252
Dick Dastardly, here
you shall be judged by a jury of your peers.
144
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:58,530
Prosecuting attorney
may now make his opening statement.
145
00:05:58,593 --> 00:06:01,533
Thanks, everybody.
It's great to be here.
146
00:06:01,596 --> 00:06:04,666
What say we convict
the defendant and go grab a quick bite, huh?
147
00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:09,732
-He seems nice.
-But who will defend Dastardly?
148
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:11,873
(WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING)
149
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,739
(SNICKERING)
150
00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:19,547
I'm doomed.
151
00:06:19,614 --> 00:06:21,784
Mr. Prosecutor,
make your case.
152
00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:23,178
Sweetie, baby.
153
00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:24,850
Oh, happily, Your Honor.
154
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:27,188
It is our opinion
that Dick Dastardly
155
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:30,164
is a mean, rotten, vicious,
unlikable character
156
00:06:30,225 --> 00:06:34,055
whose behavior
is completely unsuited for children's television.
157
00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:35,428
(KIDS CRY)
158
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:36,525
(GROANS)
159
00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:37,926
He is right, you know.
160
00:06:37,999 --> 00:06:40,029
(SCOFFS)
I'm told the Internet finds me funny.
161
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:43,500
Funny? Cartoons aren't
supposed to be funny.
162
00:06:43,571 --> 00:06:45,971
They're supposed
to be inoffensive. (FARTS)
163
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:47,810
Formulaic.
164
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:52,145
And never ever satirical.
165
00:06:52,213 --> 00:06:54,953
But it's not my fault.
It's the script.
166
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,475
That's no excuse.
167
00:06:56,551 --> 00:06:59,551
The writer is clearly
completely insane.
168
00:06:59,619 --> 00:07:00,889
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
169
00:07:00,955 --> 00:07:03,185
As soon as I finish
this live-action spec script,
170
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:04,787
the studios will
recognize my genius,
171
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,789
and I'll get a real agent
and a serious deal,
172
00:07:06,861 --> 00:07:09,661
and be respected and happy!
Happy I tell you!
173
00:07:09,731 --> 00:07:13,301
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
I'll be happy.
174
00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:17,037
The prosecution calls
Penelope Pitstop.
175
00:07:17,105 --> 00:07:22,105
Miss Pitstop, what is
the nicest thing you can say about Dick Dastardly?
176
00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:25,076
Nice? About, er, Dastardly?
177
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,705
Oof, that's a tough one.
Um...
178
00:07:26,781 --> 00:07:30,321
Well, he's very... I mean...
I mean, he is kind to...
179
00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:33,154
Well, not kind exactly,
it's more like horrible.
180
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,120
Does saying nothing count?
181
00:07:35,189 --> 00:07:37,089
HOODED CLAW: Is he a liar?
182
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,227
Well... Ooh, yeah.
183
00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:40,893
DASTARDLY: (GASPS) I object!
184
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,161
-HOODED CLAW: A cad?
-Yep.
185
00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:43,359
DASTARDLY: I object!
186
00:07:43,431 --> 00:07:45,231
HOODED CLAW: A scoundrel?
187
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:48,239
TINY: Hmm.
DASTARDLY: I object!
188
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:50,842
HOODED CLAW:
A no-good dirty, two-timing,
189
00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:54,205
stinking, rotten blight
on the face of humanity already?
190
00:07:54,275 --> 00:07:55,975
Yep. Oh, and he smells.
191
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:58,613
DASTARDLY:
I absolutely object!
192
00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:00,318
The prosecution rests.
193
00:08:00,382 --> 00:08:04,422
What kind of feckless,
fatuous, false friends are you futile failures?
194
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:06,515
I'd be better off
with explosives.
195
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:10,057
One of you witless
witnesses work out a way to save me!
196
00:08:10,124 --> 00:08:11,894
Listen, everyone.
I have a plan.
197
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,230
Tell me, Pitstop,
what is your incredibly well-thought-out,
198
00:08:14,296 --> 00:08:17,856
brilliant, smart,
ingenious scheme that guarantees my freedom?
199
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,001
Run?
200
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:22,696
-(ALL GASP)
-Run!
201
00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:25,139
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
202
00:08:25,205 --> 00:08:27,935
♪ Runnin' around without a plan
203
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,238
♪ Making it up because we can
204
00:08:30,311 --> 00:08:33,081
♪ Playing a song is easier than
205
00:08:33,147 --> 00:08:35,517
♪ Writing
206
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:37,893
♪ This is the content that we've got
207
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:40,892
♪ Nobody said you'd learn a lot
208
00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:43,785
♪ It could be worse At least we're not
209
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,357
♪ Fighting
210
00:08:45,426 --> 00:08:46,526
♪ We're eating time
211
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,104
♪ Chewing up the minutes
212
00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:50,432
♪ 'Cause we're out of new ideas
213
00:08:50,498 --> 00:08:52,028
♪ We're eating time
214
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:55,899
♪ Playing in an animated world
215
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,139
♪ We're eating time
216
00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,914
♪ And it's as delicious
217
00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:01,712
♪ As a mountain of tortillas
218
00:09:01,776 --> 00:09:03,936
♪ That's all that I could rhyme
219
00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,581
♪ We're eating time ♪
220
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,577
Okay, well, that was
a waste of time.
221
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,889
Those chase numbers
never really advance the plot, do they?
222
00:09:10,952 --> 00:09:12,892
It's almost like they're there
just use up the time
223
00:09:12,954 --> 00:09:17,064
'cause the writers
can't think of anything funny for us to say.
224
00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:18,464
Yep.
225
00:09:18,526 --> 00:09:21,156
The court now calls
for closing arguments.
226
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:24,898
The prosecution
may do what he does.
227
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,465
Ladies, gentlemen,
228
00:09:26,534 --> 00:09:30,144
bizarre anthropomorphic
animals without pants,
229
00:09:30,204 --> 00:09:33,144
the jury must deny
this appalling appeal
230
00:09:33,207 --> 00:09:34,707
and banish him from television
231
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:38,875
in perpetuity for the good
of children everywhere.
232
00:09:38,945 --> 00:09:41,075
(CHEERING)
233
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:42,578
(CHEERS)
234
00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,490
He's really good, isn't he?
235
00:09:44,552 --> 00:09:48,462
And now the defense.
If you feel it's even worth it.
236
00:09:48,522 --> 00:09:51,972
(WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING)
237
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,468
(SNICKERING)
238
00:10:00,534 --> 00:10:02,144
-(MURMURING)
-Huh?
239
00:10:02,203 --> 00:10:03,773
-Gee, I never saw it that way.
-I wasn't really listening.
240
00:10:03,838 --> 00:10:06,268
Ah, we, the jury,
find Dick Dastardly
241
00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:08,280
a revolting waste
of human DNA,
242
00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:10,082
who smells like
wet-foot cheese.
243
00:10:10,144 --> 00:10:11,654
But we grant his appeal.
244
00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:13,481
Oh, you do?
245
00:10:13,547 --> 00:10:15,977
-Curses. Foiled again.
-(CRASHES)
246
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,719
(GASPING) Uncle Sneakly.
247
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,424
(ALL CHEERING)
248
00:10:19,487 --> 00:10:21,317
All right. This trial
has now ended.
249
00:10:21,389 --> 00:10:24,859
Dick Dastardly may
continue to be a part of the Wacky Races.
250
00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:27,755
You may all go.
251
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:31,728
(ALL SCREAMING)
252
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,629
-Muttley, you did it!
-(SNICKERING)
253
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,541
Dastardly can
stay on the show. Isn't that great, boys?
254
00:10:35,603 --> 00:10:37,843
-Yeah. Whoop-de-doo.
-Yay.
255
00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:42,175
Many thanks for your support,
my dear, dear friends.
256
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:46,082
I've left you all
tokens of my gratitude.
257
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,346
-(TIRES SCREECH)
-Oh, Dastardly.
258
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:50,275
I told you this was
going to end badly.
259
00:10:50,351 --> 00:10:52,091
(DASTARDLY LAUGHS EVILLY)
260
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,722
Case closed!
261
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,617
(SNICKERING)
262
00:10:56,691 --> 00:10:59,891
You know, let's not do
a show about racing after all.
263
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:03,160
Yeah. That was a bad idea.
264
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:05,430
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
265
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:10,030
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