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1
00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:04,485
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:21,086
(SNICKERING)
3
00:00:24,725 --> 00:00:26,285
PENNY:This is my city,
4
00:00:26,361 --> 00:00:28,201
and it's my job to keep an eye on it.
5
00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:31,202
They call me Penny, Bad Penny Pitstop.
6
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:34,165
I'm a gum shoe, and just like a bad penny,
7
00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:35,935
I always show up when there's trouble.
8
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:37,713
-Speaking of trouble...
-Pitstop!
9
00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:40,611
-(SCREAMS)
-(THUD)
10
00:00:40,675 --> 00:00:43,075
-(GRUNTS)
-I took a good look at my visitors and regretted it.
11
00:00:43,145 --> 00:00:46,675
The tall one was drawn of modeling and shifty as a clutch in second gear.
12
00:00:46,748 --> 00:00:49,478
The little one smelled like trouble. If trouble was a wet bag
13
00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:51,591
of week old dirty sock wrapped around a tuna sandwich
14
00:00:51,653 --> 00:00:53,793
someone left in a gym locker over summer break.
15
00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:56,624
-You need something, Slick?
-Dick, actually.
16
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:59,560
The handle's Dangerous
Dick Dastardly.
17
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:01,156
That's my moniker,
too, toots.
18
00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:03,159
-Where is it?
-Where's what?
19
00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:06,271
(LAUGHS)
Don't play games with me, baby.
20
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:08,303
Not even, Go Fish.
21
00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:13,039
Meditate not for one
measly minute that you can mollycoddle me, missy.
22
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:14,677
-Muttley, search the joint.
-Hmm?
23
00:01:14,743 --> 00:01:17,953
-I wouldn't do that
if I were you. -Oh, why not?
24
00:01:18,012 --> 00:01:19,882
'Cause I'm a terrible
housekeeper.
25
00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:21,547
PENNY:The mutt didn't find what they were after
26
00:01:21,616 --> 00:01:23,686
but he did find a tuna meldI was keeping for a rainy day.
27
00:01:23,752 --> 00:01:27,222
-(MUTTLEY GAGGING)
-Get out of my way, you musty mongrel.
28
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:31,388
Do I have to do everything?
Bad help is so hard to find.
29
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:33,188
Maybe it's in this safe.
30
00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:35,431
-(EXPLOSION)
-PENNY:It wasn't.
31
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:36,925
-(EXPLOSION)
-(CATS MEWING)
32
00:01:36,997 --> 00:01:38,797
Why don't you just tell me
what you're looking for?
33
00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:40,696
Or this safe?
34
00:01:40,769 --> 00:01:43,969
-(EXPLOSION)
-PENNY:He was persistent but not very smart.
35
00:01:44,038 --> 00:01:46,538
-(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
-(THUD)
36
00:01:46,608 --> 00:01:50,408
-Why do they call
these things safe? -(SNICKERING)
37
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:52,748
-(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
-PENNY:Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
38
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,383
Hello?
39
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,318
-(THUMPS)
-(GROANS)
40
00:01:56,384 --> 00:01:58,524
PENNY:The world suddenly went all pink and swirly and unicorny.
41
00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:00,816
It felt like I was falling down a plot hole with no bottom.
42
00:02:00,889 --> 00:02:05,829
-(THUD)-Then I hit bottom and everything went dark.
43
00:02:05,894 --> 00:02:08,664
I woke up to see somebody had searched my office.
44
00:02:08,730 --> 00:02:10,630
But I knew they didn't find what they were looking for
45
00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:13,098
because the episode still had eight minutes left.
46
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:15,037
-(SIGHS)
-(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
47
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:18,242
Just then, a plot development walked in.
48
00:02:18,306 --> 00:02:20,806
Hi. What an uncluttered
office you have.
49
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:23,914
Yeah, saves me a fortune
on furniture polish.
50
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:26,548
-Help me up, big guy.
-Sure.
51
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:29,384
I'm Sweet Tonsils McGee.
I sing at the Sweaty Shrimp.
52
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:32,220
The Sweaty Shrimp?
That smelly old dab on the dock
53
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:35,056
filled with no good,
dirty pirates, low lives and thugs?
54
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:37,192
No, the nice new
place next to it.
55
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,388
Full of no good dirty pirates,
low lives and thugs.
56
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:42,230
Miss Pitstop, I need you
to hide something for me.
57
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:45,066
A worthless tacky
lunchbox? What's in it?
58
00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:49,772
The stuff dreams
are made of.
59
00:02:49,838 --> 00:02:52,808
Certain unscrupulous
characters would do anything to get their hands on it.
60
00:02:52,873 --> 00:02:54,413
(LAUGHING)
Huh?
61
00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:56,344
-(YELLING)
-(CRASHES)
62
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,310
-I'll just put this
somewhere-- -Safe?
63
00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:00,649
-We did that bit already.
-(THUD)
64
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:02,424
Why do they call
those things safe?
65
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:03,782
-Yikes!
-(THUMPS)
66
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,891
Where'd you go,
big fella? Huh.
67
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:08,063
Vanished without a clue.
(EXCLAIMS)
68
00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:09,722
Except for that one.
69
00:03:09,791 --> 00:03:11,861
PENNY:This was the break I was waiting for.
70
00:03:11,926 --> 00:03:15,896
My case was headed for the toughest joint in town, and so was I.
71
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:18,433
Muttley, we must follow
that femme fatale
72
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:21,239
if we plan to purloin
our precious price.
73
00:03:21,302 --> 00:03:23,802
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
74
00:03:23,871 --> 00:03:25,911
(CREAKING)
75
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,713
PENNY:I waved down a hack.
76
00:03:27,776 --> 00:03:32,776
-Give me a lift
to the Sweaty Shrimp. -Right away, ma'am.
77
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,180
(PANTING)
78
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:38,549
-We could have
taken the cab. -Now you tell me.
79
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:42,719
-(SIGHS)
-(SLAMS)
80
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:44,790
(GROANING)
81
00:03:44,859 --> 00:03:47,229
PENNY:The joint's plenty tough so that's how I had to play it too.
82
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,825
(CLEARS THROAT)
Do you have a reservation, madam?
83
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,267
-Real tough.
-(GROANS)
84
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:53,002
PENNY:As tough as an Algebra test
85
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,997
on the first day back from summer vacation.
86
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,839
-Does that answer
your question? -No.
87
00:03:56,905 --> 00:03:59,705
-(MAN GROANING)
-Oh, sorry. No, I don't have a reservation.
88
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:04,773
No problem.
Right this way, ma'am.
89
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,121
What's good tonight?
90
00:04:09,184 --> 00:04:11,754
We have sweaty chocos,
sweaty chicken salad, sweaty chimichangas
91
00:04:11,820 --> 00:04:15,190
and the big sweaty meatball
is very sweaty tonight.
92
00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:16,656
I think he's been working out.
93
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:21,334
-Ugh. Do you have
anything not sweaty? -No.
94
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:24,095
Good evening.
Bad Penny, isn't it?
95
00:04:24,165 --> 00:04:25,825
Welcome to
the Sweaty Shrimp.
96
00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:27,599
-Waiter!
-(EXCLAIMS)
97
00:04:27,669 --> 00:04:29,969
-A pink lemonade for
the lady, heavy on the pink. -Hmm.
98
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:31,467
-Don't I know you?
-No!
99
00:04:31,539 --> 00:04:35,309
Uh, I am, uh, Italiano,
uh, Waiterino.
100
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:38,346
Alrighty, dear,
what do you have a hankering for?
101
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:41,922
Well, lets ask
this nice waiter.
102
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,322
Yeah, what do you want?
103
00:04:43,384 --> 00:04:46,324
-How is the American cheese?
-I have no idea.
104
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,117
As a cultivated
culinary connoisseur
105
00:04:48,189 --> 00:04:49,689
with a perspicaciously
punctilious palate,
106
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:52,227
I wouldn't eat in this
swill stained sweat bit
107
00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:55,663
if you tiled my tongue
in titanium.
108
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,599
But that's just me.
(CHUCKLES)
109
00:04:57,665 --> 00:05:01,565
Feel free to shove
whatever you want into your Philistine pie holes.
110
00:05:01,636 --> 00:05:04,736
Alrighty, maybe I'll have
the Antipasto instead.
111
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,505
And if oh--
(CHUCKLES)
112
00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:10,084
Well, perhaps I should
just dump a garbage can on the table.
113
00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:14,014
And you can roll around
in it like howling jackals.
114
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:16,021
I'd like a nice lasagna.
115
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:19,553
(GASPS) Are you trying
to insult me now?
116
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,159
No. No, really.
117
00:05:21,222 --> 00:05:25,792
Then why would you order
lasagna to my face? (SOBBING)
118
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,429
Oh my gosh.
We're sorry.
119
00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:29,055
-So you should be.
-(BOTH SOBBING)
120
00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,459
Ooh, what should we order?
121
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:33,371
I'm your waiter,
not your life coach.
122
00:05:33,434 --> 00:05:35,904
-(BOTH SOBBING)
-Give me choices.
123
00:05:35,970 --> 00:05:40,970
Oh quiet, you hoggish
half-wits. Are you trying to get me noticed?
124
00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:45,547
What?
125
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:47,112
(SCREAMS)
126
00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,921
What about my tip?
127
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,122
(GROANING)
128
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:53,245
I'm looking for
Sweet Tonsils McGee.
129
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,290
-Never heard of him.
-You sure about that?
130
00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:58,456
-Dead sure.
-How dead sure?
131
00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:00,756
-Hmm.
-PENNY:He was playing it cool,
132
00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,558
so I pulled out the kicker and they knew I had them, cold-footed.
133
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:04,800
(TOES TREMBLING)
134
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,865
(STUTTERING AND LAUGHING
AWKWARDLY)
135
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,944
-That not mine.
-Really?
136
00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:11,372
-(GROANS)
-Hmph.
137
00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:15,539
-Sorry.
-(SHATTERS)
138
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:16,779
Get her!
139
00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:19,054
-(ALL SNARLING)
-PENNY:The jig was up.
140
00:06:19,113 --> 00:06:21,253
Oh, my.
141
00:06:21,316 --> 00:06:24,786
PENNY:And while I was dancing, Boss Bella made like a bana and split.
142
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:27,992
They were getting away with the lunchbox and my case.
143
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,155
PENNY:I had to catch them.
144
00:06:29,223 --> 00:06:32,433
-Follow that car!
-(GRUNTS)
145
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:35,463
-(CAR ACCELERATES)
-Drat!
146
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:38,269
PENNY:The trail led right to the creepiest house in town.
147
00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:41,142
-Gruesome Manor.
-(PANTING)
148
00:06:41,202 --> 00:06:43,372
Please buy a car.
(GROANS)
149
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:45,967
You really don't get
the taxi driver thing, do you?
150
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:49,110
-(SLAMS BREAKS)
-(GROANS)
151
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:50,976
-Huh?
-(BOTH GASPS)
152
00:06:51,045 --> 00:06:53,975
Ugh. What hideous gargoyles.
153
00:06:54,048 --> 00:06:56,648
Detective Pitstop.
Up here!
154
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:59,117
Up here!
(SCREAMS)
155
00:06:59,187 --> 00:07:03,217
PENNY:The trail was getting hot. I just had to get into that house.
156
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:06,030
-(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
-You rang?
157
00:07:06,094 --> 00:07:09,764
Would you like
to buy a box of Cookie Camper cookies, mister?
158
00:07:09,831 --> 00:07:12,871
-Me only like
kitty clusters. -(KITTENS MEOWING)
159
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:17,073
-(DOOR SLAMS)
-(CHOMPING)
160
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:20,967
-(IN DEEP VOICE) Pizza man.
-(THUD)
161
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:22,541
Different pizza man.
162
00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,810
-(THUD)
-(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
163
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,308
-(THUD)
-(PENELOPE GROANS)
164
00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:28,780
PENNY:Finally, I called in some old friends.
165
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:31,549
(SHRIEKS) Mices!
166
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,949
(SIGHS) I ain't
no mouse, see?
167
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,591
I'm a filthy, dirty
sewer rat, see?
168
00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:39,956
(SHRIEKING)
169
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:42,227
Some of my best
friends are rats.
170
00:07:42,296 --> 00:07:44,096
Sweet tonsils!
There you are.
171
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,604
Big Boss Bella
stole my lunch box.
172
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:48,036
If he gets what's inside,
it'll be the end.
173
00:07:48,102 --> 00:07:49,242
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS)
174
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,273
He's upstairs.
Come on.
175
00:07:51,339 --> 00:07:55,039
PENNY:This was it. The final reel, the last act, the big wrap up.
176
00:07:55,110 --> 00:07:57,550
All the answers I was after were at the end of that hall,
177
00:07:57,612 --> 00:08:01,982
and nothing was gonna stop me from getting it.
178
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:04,849
What the-- Old movies?
179
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:07,048
BELLA: (EXCLAIMS) Wonderful.
180
00:08:07,121 --> 00:08:10,921
Marvelous.
181
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,461
Beautiful, isn't it?
182
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:15,956
Back when cartoons were
funny and well-acted
183
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:18,299
and not at all
self-referential.
184
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:19,695
(GROANS) I hate that tune.
185
00:08:19,767 --> 00:08:22,467
Just random acts
of pointless violence.
186
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:25,166
-(THUDDING)
-(GROANING)
187
00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:26,339
-Hello!
-(THUD)
188
00:08:26,407 --> 00:08:27,637
-Hi, everybody--
-(THUD)
189
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,438
Excuse me, you never paid me.
(SCREAMS)
190
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,080
-(THUDDING)
-(GROANING)
191
00:08:31,145 --> 00:08:33,175
Hmm, what flavor
popcorn is this?
192
00:08:33,247 --> 00:08:35,017
O-positve.
193
00:08:35,083 --> 00:08:37,653
I'll never let them
take this smashing entertainment from me.
194
00:08:37,717 --> 00:08:39,787
-(THUD)
-Aha!
195
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,693
It's mine, at long last.
196
00:08:41,756 --> 00:08:44,086
PENNY:There was still one thing I didn't understand.
197
00:08:44,158 --> 00:08:46,428
Okay, I don't need
any help for this part.
198
00:08:46,494 --> 00:08:48,764
There's still one thing
I don't understand.
199
00:08:48,830 --> 00:08:51,470
Why do you want
this silly old thing anyway?
200
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:54,442
Because I think the villain
in it talks funny.
201
00:08:54,502 --> 00:08:57,272
I've hunted down
and destroyed every copy
202
00:08:57,338 --> 00:08:59,608
of this calamator's
cartoon but this one.
203
00:08:59,674 --> 00:09:02,244
Now, I am going
to eliminate the final--
204
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:06,809
You monster! You would
destroy such sublime art.
205
00:09:06,881 --> 00:09:11,221
Art? Oh, please.
They pay monkeys to make this stuff.
206
00:09:11,285 --> 00:09:13,115
Uh, we get paid?
207
00:09:13,187 --> 00:09:16,657
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
208
00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:19,764
-(SNICKERING)
-Away, Muttley.
209
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:23,297
We're doomed with absolutely
no hope of escape.
210
00:09:23,364 --> 00:09:26,774
My beautiful cartoon is
going to be destroyed.
211
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,473
Relax, everybody.
212
00:09:28,536 --> 00:09:31,266
When Dastardly
wasn't looking, I snatched the films.
213
00:09:31,339 --> 00:09:35,879
-What about the bomb?
-I switched that out from Muttley, see?
214
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:37,552
(GROWLS)
Hmm?
215
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:40,681
-(EXPLOSION)
-(DASTARDLY CURSING INDISTINCTLY)
216
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:44,278
Wait a minute,
that's impossible. We saw them leave.
217
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:46,051
Hard boiled heroes
of detective stories
218
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,660
always have a trick
up their sleeve at the end of the movie.
219
00:09:48,723 --> 00:09:50,793
NARRATOR:Oh, please. That was totally impossible.
220
00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:52,888
Okay, that's enough
out of you.
221
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,430
PENNY:And so, another case closed.
222
00:09:56,498 --> 00:09:59,998
Like I said before, this is my city, and I keep an eye on it.
223
00:10:00,068 --> 00:10:02,538
NARRATOR:Seriously, there is no way you swapped that bomb and--
224
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,643
PENNY:Oh, just let it go. It's only a movie.
225
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:07,075
NARRATOR:It just bothers me, is all.
226
00:10:07,142 --> 00:10:08,782
You know when you watch a TV show, you expect it to make some sort of sense.
227
00:10:08,842 --> 00:10:12,382
(SNICKERING)
228
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:15,946
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
229
00:10:15,996 --> 00:10:20,546
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