Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,253
(SNICKERING)
2
00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:28,700
Ha!
3
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:32,402
Uh-oh! (SCREAMING)
4
00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:33,796
Hmm...
5
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,368
(SCREAMS AND THUDS)
6
00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:36,865
Hey, hey, hey, history lovers,
7
00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:38,707
today onMysteries of History,
8
00:00:38,773 --> 00:00:41,243
we're after the answer to one of
history's greatest questions.
9
00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:44,179
Were the Vikings
the first explorers to discover America?
10
00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,045
The Vikings were originally from Norway,
11
00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:48,653
one of the coldest, bleakest, yuckiest places
12
00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:49,946
on the northern edge of Europe.
13
00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:52,447
But despite that,
around the year 900 A.D.,
14
00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,760
the magnificent
Viking civilization was at its cultural peak.
15
00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:58,673
(SCREAMS AND THUDS)
16
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,572
BRICK:Hey, are you guys Vikings?
17
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:09,144
Of course we're Vikings,
strange voice from the future.
18
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,173
Can't you see
our kinky Viking helmets?
19
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:12,238
(SCREAMS AND THUDS)
20
00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:14,505
Pointy hat.
21
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,935
And our thick Viking beard.
22
00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:19,781
And our trademark
berserker rages--
23
00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:22,317
And extremely poor
personal hygiene.
24
00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:23,982
(SNICKERING)
25
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,491
-And all the smiting, of course.
-BRICK:What's "smiting"?
26
00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:27,863
This. (THUDS)
27
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:30,762
(SCREAMS AND THUDS)
28
00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:33,334
Smiting good.
29
00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:34,463
(GROANS)
30
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,528
Blah.
31
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,567
We're all about the smite.
32
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,172
You name it, we've smited it.
33
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:42,344
The British, the Franks, more British,
34
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:45,373
our neighbors, our houses,
some fish, a moose,
35
00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,409
a lot of trees, some dirt...
36
00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:49,905
Yeah, we've pretty much smited
all there is to smiteth around here.
37
00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:52,147
Hey,
we forgot to smite the fire.
38
00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:54,382
ALL: Odin!
39
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,678
(SCREAMS AND THUDS)
40
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:57,990
(SHIVERING)
41
00:01:58,052 --> 00:01:59,652
-Now I'm cold.
-(SIGHS)
42
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,520
Now what do we do?
43
00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:05,059
THOR: (IN DEEP VOICE)Quake with fear, puny mortals!
44
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,126
-(THUNDER AND LIGHTNING)
-(ALL EXCLAIMING)
45
00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:10,233
I am Thor!
46
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:13,928
And I am sorry to hear that.
What hurts, darling?
47
00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:17,811
Nothing hurts me
for I am Thor!
48
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,911
Well, honey, if you're sore,
49
00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:21,644
something's gonna hurt
somewhere.
50
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,838
You misunderstand, puny mortal.
51
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:26,351
I am the "Thor,"
52
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:29,183
god of thunder.
53
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,320
Ooh. Well, that's too bad.
54
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:33,545
If other gods got to be
in charge of all the good stuff
55
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,760
I'd be sore too.
56
00:02:35,824 --> 00:02:40,564
I don't suppose there are
any other Vikings around here
57
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,397
-I could talk to?
-Nope.
58
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,432
-(THUDS)
-Just us.
59
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,428
Swell. Look,
60
00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:51,371
I am here to give you a way
to prove your bravery as deranged Vikings.
61
00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:53,508
I offer you a race,
62
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:56,284
the winner of which
shall enter Valhalla.
63
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:57,653
(ANGELIC MUSIC)
64
00:02:57,712 --> 00:03:00,482
Well, I declare,
that's real sweet of y'all,
65
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,248
-especially when you're
not feeling well. -(YELPS)
66
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:05,486
Seriously, there's no other
Vikings around here?
67
00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:07,192
ALL: Nope.
68
00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:10,194
(SIGHS) Well, then listen well,
warriors of the northlands,
69
00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:13,287
this race will be fraught
with dangers.
70
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:16,461
THOR:You shall race to the new world, America,
71
00:03:16,531 --> 00:03:20,071
far across the raging
endless western sea.
72
00:03:20,134 --> 00:03:21,744
(LIGHTNING AND GROWLING)
73
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:23,842
So we're going to need boats?
74
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:26,144
Yes, you'll need boats.
75
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:29,577
Look, just take these ships
and go.
76
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,713
(LIGHTNING)
77
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:33,849
-Wow.
-Not bad for a sick guy.
78
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,624
I suppose they'll do.
79
00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:37,592
Now go, deranged warriors,
80
00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:41,222
go forth and spread
the Viking tradition of valor,
81
00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:43,959
courage, and mindless
violence across
82
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,594
all Midgard!
83
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,259
Will do, big fellow.
84
00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,427
(ALL SHOUTING)
85
00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:55,502
Forward to glory!
86
00:03:55,570 --> 00:03:58,040
(GROANS) I thought
they'd never leave.
87
00:03:58,106 --> 00:04:02,136
BRICK: And so the early Vikings
struck out across the dangerous Atlantic Ocean,
88
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:04,909
not knowing what perils
awaited them.
89
00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:07,279
Yes, excuse me,
strange voice from the future,
90
00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:10,278
but when you say "perils,"
could you be more specific?
91
00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:11,620
Not really.
92
00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:13,686
Very little reliable records
of the Viking travels
93
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,194
survive to modern day.
94
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,155
I'm sure.
95
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:18,193
Time to use my secret weapon.
96
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,928
Huh?
97
00:04:21,996 --> 00:04:24,096
Well, this is hard to row.
98
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:25,304
Hey!
99
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:27,095
(SLURPING)
100
00:04:27,169 --> 00:04:29,939
Dastardly, you've broken the
noble Viking traditions by cheating.
101
00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:31,874
Do you know what this means?
102
00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,139
ALL: Gratuitous violence!
103
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:37,058
(SCREAMS AND THUDS)
104
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:44,448
-Violence!
-(THUDS)
105
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:45,888
(WHIRRING)
106
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:48,593
Viking counter-attack.
107
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,285
Huh?
108
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,857
Darn.
109
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:54,925
(SCREAMING)
110
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,595
DASTARDLY: Holy crumbs.
111
00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:59,513
(SCREAMS AND THUDS)
112
00:05:04,372 --> 00:05:06,972
-(YELLING)
-(GROANS AND THUDS)
113
00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:10,841
Argh, now feel
my berserker rage.
114
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:14,451
(ALL LAUGHING)
115
00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:15,624
(LOUD SPLASH)
116
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,492
(ALL SCREAMING)
117
00:05:17,552 --> 00:05:18,952
-Yes, that's right!
You'd better be afraid... -(GROWLING)
118
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:22,319
...when vexing
this virile Viking.
119
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:23,459
DASTARDLY: Drat!
120
00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:26,633
(GROWLS AND SPLASHES)
121
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:30,004
It's so scary in here.
I love it.
122
00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:33,364
-What's that?
-(THUDS)
123
00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:37,342
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING)
124
00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:38,714
Hi, everybody.
125
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,512
Ahh! Creepy puppet!
126
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,284
Creepy puppet!
127
00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,913
-Who are you, darling?
-Puppet!
128
00:05:44,979 --> 00:05:48,449
-(GROANING)
-(CHUCKLES) I'm Public Domain Pinocchio.
129
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,645
Um, who?
130
00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,687
The puppet who
was brought to life by love,
131
00:05:51,753 --> 00:05:54,993
and has nothing
but optimism, and happiness,
132
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,815
and purity in his heart and--
Ax!
133
00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,761
-Let's smite him.
-Wait!
134
00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,456
Maybe he knows a way out.
135
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:04,099
Sorry,
I've tried everything.
136
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:07,474
Singing happy songs,
dancing happy dances,
137
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,044
nothing works.
138
00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:14,103
But the important thing
is to stay happy.
139
00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:16,405
-Now can I smite him?
-(THUDS)
140
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:17,376
It works for me.
141
00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:19,675
Hmm. I've got an idea.
142
00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,076
We could start a fire
143
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:23,218
and the smoke
will make the whale sneeze.
144
00:06:23,284 --> 00:06:28,284
Excellent. If only we can
find some wood to start a fire.
145
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:30,721
ALL: Hmm.
146
00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,431
(PANTING)
147
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:35,362
(CHITTERING)
148
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:36,898
What?
149
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:38,974
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
150
00:06:39,033 --> 00:06:41,603
(WHALE SNEEZES)
151
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:43,468
Bye, guys, and thanks.
152
00:06:43,538 --> 00:06:45,968
I'm so happy
I'm out of the whale.
153
00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,010
I'm going to celebrate
with a song.
154
00:06:48,076 --> 00:06:51,046
♪ Oh, I'm so happy and full of joy... ♪
155
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:52,481
PINOCCHIO: Oh, come on!
156
00:06:52,547 --> 00:06:54,877
DASTARDLY: Great, we're free.
157
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,118
Now what do we do?
158
00:06:57,184 --> 00:07:00,524
ALL: Land!
159
00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:04,187
(SHOUTING AND SPLASHING)
160
00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,699
What a strange place.
161
00:07:10,765 --> 00:07:13,565
Filled with even
stranger creatures.
162
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:16,804
Lo, 'tis an unknown beast
of great girth and bearing.
163
00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,010
Oh, let's smite it.
164
00:07:18,072 --> 00:07:19,542
(FEROCIOUS GROWL)
165
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:20,506
Drat.
166
00:07:20,575 --> 00:07:24,775
-(SNARLING)
-(ALL SCREAMING)
167
00:07:24,846 --> 00:07:26,976
DASTARDLY: Penelope,
I really must commend you
168
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:28,047
on your beard.
169
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,315
It's so thick and lush.
170
00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:30,923
PENELOPE: I'm over here,
Dastardly.
171
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,054
DASTARDLY: Really?
172
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,989
Then whose beard am I touching?
173
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,424
(LOUD GROWL)
174
00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:36,618
DASTARDLY: Drat!
175
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,690
(ALL SCREAMING)
176
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,360
We are set upon
by lions and bears.
177
00:07:41,429 --> 00:07:46,099
What other test of our courage
could mighty Thor ask of us?
178
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,536
Lo, good sir.
179
00:07:47,602 --> 00:07:49,642
What manner of creature
are thee?
180
00:07:49,704 --> 00:07:53,014
I'm just a guy packing clothes
into a suitcase.
181
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:56,983
-You mean you're...
-A packer?
182
00:07:57,044 --> 00:08:01,394
-(LOUD ROAR)
-(ALL SCREAMING)
183
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,191
Well, hi there.
184
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:08,692
Welcome to Minnesota,
nice to meet you.
185
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,055
"Minnesota," you say.
186
00:08:10,124 --> 00:08:12,994
Is it always like this?
187
00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:15,260
(CHUCKLES) Oh, gosh, golly, no.
188
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:17,059
This is summertime.
189
00:08:17,131 --> 00:08:18,631
In the winter, it gets...
190
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:22,239
(IN DEEP VOICE)
Real, real bleak.
191
00:08:22,303 --> 00:08:23,943
More bleak than this?
192
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,114
-Pinch me.
-(THUDS)
193
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,243
-(SCREAMS)
-What do you do here for fun?
194
00:08:28,309 --> 00:08:29,739
Oh, nothing really.
195
00:08:29,811 --> 00:08:33,551
Sometimes we run back and forth
carrying a rock.
196
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:36,224
-Looks like fun...
-Does it? It's not.
197
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,293
If this is a game,
I must win it.
198
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:41,892
Give that rock to me
or I shall smite thee.
199
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:45,325
-Mm.
-(THUDS)
200
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:49,502
-(CHUCKLING)
-(THUDDING)
201
00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:51,303
Oh, yeah, I'm over here now.
202
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:52,765
(LAUGHS) You didn't stop me.
203
00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:56,944
(LAUGHS) Mocking Viking dance,
in your faces.
204
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,074
(MUTTLEY GROANING)
205
00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,638
Give Tiny rock.
206
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:02,407
No, it's my rock now
and you can't have it.
207
00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:04,176
How do we get the rock
from Dastardly?
208
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,114
I have a plan. Come here.
209
00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:07,810
(WHISPERING)
210
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,221
-Got it?
-Yeah.
211
00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:11,053
Got it. (CLAPS)
212
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,988
Nineteen. Twenty-six.
213
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,723
Forty-four. Odin!
214
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,658
(ALL SHOUTING) Charge!
215
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,493
Uh-oh.
216
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,359
-(SHRIEKS AND GROANS)
-(ALL SCREAMING)
217
00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:23,998
He's running to the other side
with the rock!
218
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,904
-Get him!
-(SCREAMING)
219
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:28,296
-(SNICKERING)
-GIRL: Go team!
220
00:09:28,369 --> 00:09:31,639
-(PANTING, GROANS)
-(THUDDING)
221
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:35,375
(PANTING, GROANS)
222
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:38,252
-(ALL SCREAMING)
-Yeah! (LAUGHS)
223
00:09:38,312 --> 00:09:42,852
-(LAUGHING AND GROANING)
-(BEARD SNAPPING)
224
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:46,016
(GRUNTING AND STRAING)
225
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,316
(THUDS AND GROANS)
226
00:09:47,388 --> 00:09:49,818
Don't... No, no. Not again.
227
00:09:49,891 --> 00:09:52,061
-(SCREAMS)
-(ALL YELLING AND THUDDING)
228
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,285
Tickles.
229
00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,231
Now I am Thor.
230
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,456
No, he's Thor.
231
00:09:57,531 --> 00:09:59,601
My Viking warriors,
232
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:04,667
you have completed your task
and made me proud. Sort of.
233
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:09,772
Therefore, you are all welcome
to enter the halls of Valhalla.
234
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,213
Who's ready to go?
235
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,649
Bus leaves in five minutes.
236
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:16,554
We are staying here,
if you don't mind.
237
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:17,917
-(GROWLING)
-(SHRIEKS)
238
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:20,715
Yeah, game fun.
239
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,517
It's smitey.
240
00:10:22,591 --> 00:10:26,461
Am I to understand
that you Vikings choose to stay in dreary Minnesota,
241
00:10:26,527 --> 00:10:28,527
playing this pointless
violent game
242
00:10:28,596 --> 00:10:30,496
with lions, bears, and packers,
243
00:10:30,564 --> 00:10:33,634
rather than into
the hallowed halls of Valhalla?
244
00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,801
That about sums it up,
thunder pants.
245
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,169
Hmm, mortals. Go figure.
246
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,868
And there you have it,
history fans,
247
00:10:39,941 --> 00:10:43,311
proof that not only did
the Vikings discover America,
248
00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:45,047
but they also invented football.
249
00:10:45,113 --> 00:10:48,083
See you next time
when we explore the mystery--
250
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,048
(SCREAMS AND THUDS)
251
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:53,448
(SNICKERING)
252
00:10:53,498 --> 00:10:58,048
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
17202
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.