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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,253 (SNICKERING) 2 00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:28,700 Ha! 3 00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:32,402 Uh-oh! (SCREAMING) 4 00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:33,796 Hmm... 5 00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,368 (SCREAMS AND THUDS) 6 00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:36,865 Hey, hey, hey, history lovers, 7 00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:38,707 today onMysteries of History, 8 00:00:38,773 --> 00:00:41,243 we're after the answer to one of history's greatest questions. 9 00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:44,179 Were the Vikings the first explorers to discover America? 10 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:46,045 The Vikings were originally from Norway, 11 00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:48,653 one of the coldest, bleakest, yuckiest places 12 00:00:48,716 --> 00:00:49,946 on the northern edge of Europe. 13 00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:52,447 But despite that, around the year 900 A.D., 14 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,760 the magnificent Viking civilization was at its cultural peak. 15 00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:58,673 (SCREAMS AND THUDS) 16 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,572 BRICK:Hey, are you guys Vikings? 17 00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:09,144 Of course we're Vikings, strange voice from the future. 18 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,173 Can't you see our kinky Viking helmets? 19 00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:12,238 (SCREAMS AND THUDS) 20 00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:14,505 Pointy hat. 21 00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,935 And our thick Viking beard. 22 00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:19,781 And our trademark berserker rages-- 23 00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:22,317 And extremely poor personal hygiene. 24 00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:23,982 (SNICKERING) 25 00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,491 -And all the smiting, of course. -BRICK:What's "smiting"? 26 00:01:26,553 --> 00:01:27,863 This. (THUDS) 27 00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:30,762 (SCREAMS AND THUDS) 28 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:33,334 Smiting good. 29 00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:34,463 (GROANS) 30 00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,528 Blah. 31 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,567 We're all about the smite. 32 00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,172 You name it, we've smited it. 33 00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:42,344 The British, the Franks, more British, 34 00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:45,373 our neighbors, our houses, some fish, a moose, 35 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:47,409 a lot of trees, some dirt... 36 00:01:47,475 --> 00:01:49,905 Yeah, we've pretty much smited all there is to smiteth around here. 37 00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:52,147 Hey, we forgot to smite the fire. 38 00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:54,382 ALL: Odin! 39 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,678 (SCREAMS AND THUDS) 40 00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:57,990 (SHIVERING) 41 00:01:58,052 --> 00:01:59,652 -Now I'm cold. -(SIGHS) 42 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,520 Now what do we do? 43 00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:05,059 THOR: (IN DEEP VOICE)Quake with fear, puny mortals! 44 00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:07,126 -(THUNDER AND LIGHTNING) -(ALL EXCLAIMING) 45 00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:10,233 I am Thor! 46 00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:13,928 And I am sorry to hear that. What hurts, darling? 47 00:02:14,001 --> 00:02:17,811 Nothing hurts me for I am Thor! 48 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,911 Well, honey, if you're sore, 49 00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:21,644 something's gonna hurt somewhere. 50 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:23,838 You misunderstand, puny mortal. 51 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:26,351 I am the "Thor," 52 00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:29,183 god of thunder. 53 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,320 Ooh. Well, that's too bad. 54 00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:33,545 If other gods got to be in charge of all the good stuff 55 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,760 I'd be sore too. 56 00:02:35,824 --> 00:02:40,564 I don't suppose there are any other Vikings around here 57 00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,397 -I could talk to? -Nope. 58 00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,432 -(THUDS) -Just us. 59 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,428 Swell. Look, 60 00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:51,371 I am here to give you a way to prove your bravery as deranged Vikings. 61 00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:53,508 I offer you a race, 62 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:56,284 the winner of which shall enter Valhalla. 63 00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:57,653 (ANGELIC MUSIC) 64 00:02:57,712 --> 00:03:00,482 Well, I declare, that's real sweet of y'all, 65 00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,248 -especially when you're not feeling well. -(YELPS) 66 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:05,486 Seriously, there's no other Vikings around here? 67 00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:07,192 ALL: Nope. 68 00:03:07,254 --> 00:03:10,194 (SIGHS) Well, then listen well, warriors of the northlands, 69 00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:13,287 this race will be fraught with dangers. 70 00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:16,461 THOR:You shall race to the new world, America, 71 00:03:16,531 --> 00:03:20,071 far across the raging endless western sea. 72 00:03:20,134 --> 00:03:21,744 (LIGHTNING AND GROWLING) 73 00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:23,842 So we're going to need boats? 74 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:26,144 Yes, you'll need boats. 75 00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:29,577 Look, just take these ships and go. 76 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,713 (LIGHTNING) 77 00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:33,849 -Wow. -Not bad for a sick guy. 78 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,624 I suppose they'll do. 79 00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:37,592 Now go, deranged warriors, 80 00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:41,222 go forth and spread the Viking tradition of valor, 81 00:03:41,289 --> 00:03:43,959 courage, and mindless violence across 82 00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,594 all Midgard! 83 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,259 Will do, big fellow. 84 00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,427 (ALL SHOUTING) 85 00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:55,502 Forward to glory! 86 00:03:55,570 --> 00:03:58,040 (GROANS) I thought they'd never leave. 87 00:03:58,106 --> 00:04:02,136 BRICK: And so the early Vikings struck out across the dangerous Atlantic Ocean, 88 00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:04,909 not knowing what perils awaited them. 89 00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:07,279 Yes, excuse me, strange voice from the future, 90 00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:10,278 but when you say "perils," could you be more specific? 91 00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:11,620 Not really. 92 00:04:11,686 --> 00:04:13,686 Very little reliable records of the Viking travels 93 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,194 survive to modern day. 94 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,155 I'm sure. 95 00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:18,193 Time to use my secret weapon. 96 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,928 Huh? 97 00:04:21,996 --> 00:04:24,096 Well, this is hard to row. 98 00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:25,304 Hey! 99 00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:27,095 (SLURPING) 100 00:04:27,169 --> 00:04:29,939 Dastardly, you've broken the noble Viking traditions by cheating. 101 00:04:30,004 --> 00:04:31,874 Do you know what this means? 102 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:34,139 ALL: Gratuitous violence! 103 00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:37,058 (SCREAMS AND THUDS) 104 00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:44,448 -Violence! -(THUDS) 105 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:45,888 (WHIRRING) 106 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:48,593 Viking counter-attack. 107 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,285 Huh? 108 00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:51,857 Darn. 109 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:54,925 (SCREAMING) 110 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,595 DASTARDLY: Holy crumbs. 111 00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:59,513 (SCREAMS AND THUDS) 112 00:05:04,372 --> 00:05:06,972 -(YELLING) -(GROANS AND THUDS) 113 00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:10,841 Argh, now feel my berserker rage. 114 00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:14,451 (ALL LAUGHING) 115 00:05:14,514 --> 00:05:15,624 (LOUD SPLASH) 116 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,492 (ALL SCREAMING) 117 00:05:17,552 --> 00:05:18,952 -Yes, that's right! You'd better be afraid... -(GROWLING) 118 00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:22,319 ...when vexing this virile Viking. 119 00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:23,459 DASTARDLY: Drat! 120 00:05:23,523 --> 00:05:26,633 (GROWLS AND SPLASHES) 121 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:30,004 It's so scary in here. I love it. 122 00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:33,364 -What's that? -(THUDS) 123 00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:37,342 (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) 124 00:05:37,404 --> 00:05:38,714 Hi, everybody. 125 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,512 Ahh! Creepy puppet! 126 00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,284 Creepy puppet! 127 00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,913 -Who are you, darling? -Puppet! 128 00:05:44,979 --> 00:05:48,449 -(GROANING) -(CHUCKLES) I'm Public Domain Pinocchio. 129 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,645 Um, who? 130 00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,687 The puppet who was brought to life by love, 131 00:05:51,753 --> 00:05:54,993 and has nothing but optimism, and happiness, 132 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:57,815 and purity in his heart and-- Ax! 133 00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,761 -Let's smite him. -Wait! 134 00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,456 Maybe he knows a way out. 135 00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:04,099 Sorry, I've tried everything. 136 00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:07,474 Singing happy songs, dancing happy dances, 137 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,044 nothing works. 138 00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:14,103 But the important thing is to stay happy. 139 00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:16,405 -Now can I smite him? -(THUDS) 140 00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:17,376 It works for me. 141 00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:19,675 Hmm. I've got an idea. 142 00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,076 We could start a fire 143 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:23,218 and the smoke will make the whale sneeze. 144 00:06:23,284 --> 00:06:28,284 Excellent. If only we can find some wood to start a fire. 145 00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:30,721 ALL: Hmm. 146 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,431 (PANTING) 147 00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:35,362 (CHITTERING) 148 00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:36,898 What? 149 00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:38,974 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 150 00:06:39,033 --> 00:06:41,603 (WHALE SNEEZES) 151 00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:43,468 Bye, guys, and thanks. 152 00:06:43,538 --> 00:06:45,968 I'm so happy I'm out of the whale. 153 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,010 I'm going to celebrate with a song. 154 00:06:48,076 --> 00:06:51,046 ♪ Oh, I'm so happy and full of joy... ♪ 155 00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:52,481 PINOCCHIO: Oh, come on! 156 00:06:52,547 --> 00:06:54,877 DASTARDLY: Great, we're free. 157 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:57,118 Now what do we do? 158 00:06:57,184 --> 00:07:00,524 ALL: Land! 159 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:04,187 (SHOUTING AND SPLASHING) 160 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,699 What a strange place. 161 00:07:10,765 --> 00:07:13,565 Filled with even stranger creatures. 162 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:16,804 Lo, 'tis an unknown beast of great girth and bearing. 163 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,010 Oh, let's smite it. 164 00:07:18,072 --> 00:07:19,542 (FEROCIOUS GROWL) 165 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:20,506 Drat. 166 00:07:20,575 --> 00:07:24,775 -(SNARLING) -(ALL SCREAMING) 167 00:07:24,846 --> 00:07:26,976 DASTARDLY: Penelope, I really must commend you 168 00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:28,047 on your beard. 169 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,315 It's so thick and lush. 170 00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:30,923 PENELOPE: I'm over here, Dastardly. 171 00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,054 DASTARDLY: Really? 172 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,989 Then whose beard am I touching? 173 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,424 (LOUD GROWL) 174 00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:36,618 DASTARDLY: Drat! 175 00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,690 (ALL SCREAMING) 176 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,360 We are set upon by lions and bears. 177 00:07:41,429 --> 00:07:46,099 What other test of our courage could mighty Thor ask of us? 178 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,536 Lo, good sir. 179 00:07:47,602 --> 00:07:49,642 What manner of creature are thee? 180 00:07:49,704 --> 00:07:53,014 I'm just a guy packing clothes into a suitcase. 181 00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:56,983 -You mean you're... -A packer? 182 00:07:57,044 --> 00:08:01,394 -(LOUD ROAR) -(ALL SCREAMING) 183 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,191 Well, hi there. 184 00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:08,692 Welcome to Minnesota, nice to meet you. 185 00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:10,055 "Minnesota," you say. 186 00:08:10,124 --> 00:08:12,994 Is it always like this? 187 00:08:13,060 --> 00:08:15,260 (CHUCKLES) Oh, gosh, golly, no. 188 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:17,059 This is summertime. 189 00:08:17,131 --> 00:08:18,631 In the winter, it gets... 190 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:22,239 (IN DEEP VOICE) Real, real bleak. 191 00:08:22,303 --> 00:08:23,943 More bleak than this? 192 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,114 -Pinch me. -(THUDS) 193 00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:28,243 -(SCREAMS) -What do you do here for fun? 194 00:08:28,309 --> 00:08:29,739 Oh, nothing really. 195 00:08:29,811 --> 00:08:33,551 Sometimes we run back and forth carrying a rock. 196 00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:36,224 -Looks like fun... -Does it? It's not. 197 00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,293 If this is a game, I must win it. 198 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:41,892 Give that rock to me or I shall smite thee. 199 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:45,325 -Mm. -(THUDS) 200 00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:49,502 -(CHUCKLING) -(THUDDING) 201 00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:51,303 Oh, yeah, I'm over here now. 202 00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:52,765 (LAUGHS) You didn't stop me. 203 00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:56,944 (LAUGHS) Mocking Viking dance, in your faces. 204 00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,074 (MUTTLEY GROANING) 205 00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,638 Give Tiny rock. 206 00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:02,407 No, it's my rock now and you can't have it. 207 00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:04,176 How do we get the rock from Dastardly? 208 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,114 I have a plan. Come here. 209 00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:07,810 (WHISPERING) 210 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,221 -Got it? -Yeah. 211 00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:11,053 Got it. (CLAPS) 212 00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,988 Nineteen. Twenty-six. 213 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,723 Forty-four. Odin! 214 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,658 (ALL SHOUTING) Charge! 215 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,493 Uh-oh. 216 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:21,359 -(SHRIEKS AND GROANS) -(ALL SCREAMING) 217 00:09:21,428 --> 00:09:23,998 He's running to the other side with the rock! 218 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,904 -Get him! -(SCREAMING) 219 00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:28,296 -(SNICKERING) -GIRL: Go team! 220 00:09:28,369 --> 00:09:31,639 -(PANTING, GROANS) -(THUDDING) 221 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:35,375 (PANTING, GROANS) 222 00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:38,252 -(ALL SCREAMING) -Yeah! (LAUGHS) 223 00:09:38,312 --> 00:09:42,852 -(LAUGHING AND GROANING) -(BEARD SNAPPING) 224 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:46,016 (GRUNTING AND STRAING) 225 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:47,316 (THUDS AND GROANS) 226 00:09:47,388 --> 00:09:49,818 Don't... No, no. Not again. 227 00:09:49,891 --> 00:09:52,061 -(SCREAMS) -(ALL YELLING AND THUDDING) 228 00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,285 Tickles. 229 00:09:54,361 --> 00:09:56,231 Now I am Thor. 230 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,456 No, he's Thor. 231 00:09:57,531 --> 00:09:59,601 My Viking warriors, 232 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:04,667 you have completed your task and made me proud. Sort of. 233 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:09,772 Therefore, you are all welcome to enter the halls of Valhalla. 234 00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:12,213 Who's ready to go? 235 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:13,649 Bus leaves in five minutes. 236 00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:16,554 We are staying here, if you don't mind. 237 00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:17,917 -(GROWLING) -(SHRIEKS) 238 00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:20,715 Yeah, game fun. 239 00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,517 It's smitey. 240 00:10:22,591 --> 00:10:26,461 Am I to understand that you Vikings choose to stay in dreary Minnesota, 241 00:10:26,527 --> 00:10:28,527 playing this pointless violent game 242 00:10:28,596 --> 00:10:30,496 with lions, bears, and packers, 243 00:10:30,564 --> 00:10:33,634 rather than into the hallowed halls of Valhalla? 244 00:10:33,701 --> 00:10:35,801 That about sums it up, thunder pants. 245 00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,169 Hmm, mortals. Go figure. 246 00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,868 And there you have it, history fans, 247 00:10:39,941 --> 00:10:43,311 proof that not only did the Vikings discover America, 248 00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:45,047 but they also invented football. 249 00:10:45,113 --> 00:10:48,083 See you next time when we explore the mystery-- 250 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:51,048 (SCREAMS AND THUDS) 251 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:53,448 (SNICKERING) 252 00:10:53,498 --> 00:10:58,048 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 17202

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