Original subtitles

(SNICKERING)

(YAWNS)

What a lovely morning.

Ah, this is Mission Control to Penelope Pitstop.

You are 50 kms above sea level

and go to set the space dive free fall record.

That's nice. Is there orange juice?

(ALL GASPING)

We forgot the orange juice.

-(ALARM BLARING) -(SCREAMING)

(SCREAMING)

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, no worries, darling.

I'll just pick up some on my way into work.

Bye, y'all.

What a gal.

(SCREAMS)

Good morning, Penelope.

Morning, how y'all doing today?

-Same time tomorrow. -Sure thing.

-Bye. -(MEOWING)

Ah.

-Juice? -Had some.

-Where is everybody? -(SCREAMING)

(YAWNS) Well, good morning.

(YAWNS) Morning.

-(SCREAMING) -(CAT MEOWING)

Am I back? What universe is this?

-Are you gonna eat me? -No.

Eh, maybe a little.

Aw, did one of your twisted science experiments

break the laws of time, space and reality again?

No. If a pan-dimensional being made of hyper-intelligent kittens

named Irving asks for me, are not here, okay?

Pitstop, do you realize we're already on page three?

And this is my first line.

Don't you realize people watch this show to see me?

-Who's that guy? -I don't know.

-He stinks. -Are you watching Wacky Races again?

That stuff will rot your brain.

I think the writers wanted to start this show with some excitement.

Watching me get ready in the morning is every bit as exciting as watching you.

-Hmm. -(GROANS)

-(FLIES BUZZING) -(GRUNTING)

Oh, yes.

-So where's Perfect? -Peter quit the show and moved to Hollywood.

What? Peter isn't racing any more?

-He got a better part on another show. -What?

That boisterous buffoon got a real show?

-How? -Maybe Peter has a better agent.

He sure does.

Sandy Slickburger, Harry, Gary and Schnutt's talent agency.

Hi, Mr. Slickburger, I was just telling the guys about...

Yeah, yeah, that's great, but why don't you let me handle the exposition?

Oh, okay, it's just then I won't have anything to do.

So, listen kiddos, what Bricky here was gonna say is

that my dear, close and personal friend and client, Peter Perfect,

has moved on career-wise, and will no longer be available

for your plucky littleWacky Race thingy.

Are you guys even on TV?

-Not really, no. -So, Peter's gone?

Oh,au contraire, Peter Perfect is going to continue to compete

in all races and be an integral part

of the ongoing cast dynamic. Kind of.

What do you mean, "Kind of"?

I had the greatest experts in special effects in Hollywood whip up

this little baby.

(GASPING)

I give you Peter 2.0.

It's a robot Peter.

So cool!

Are you sure Peter is okay with this thing taking his place?

Hey, I'm in show business, would I lie to you?

He's got a neutronic multi-phase processor,

particle beams, and a built in moral compass

that always points to famous.

I love him.

We'll be more than a cast, we'll be like family.

Ah, yeah, that never really happens.

We all good? I've got a lunch.

I have been programmed to emulate

the audience-pleasing hijinks of Peter Perfect by famous Hollywood producers.

I suppose that... (SCREAMING)

Good luck, Peter... Robot... Thingy.

Luck will not be required.

-Let's have lunch. -BRICK: Three, two, one.

Race!

Hmm, I wonder if Peter is enjoying his new job.

-I think I'll give him a little ol' tinkle. -(PHONE RINGING)

Hey, yeah, what, what, this is Peter Perfect.

Hey, Peter darling, this is Penny.

Actually, I'm not Peter Perfect per se.

But I am his legal representative in all creative matters

concerning Wacky Racing.

Oh, I'd like to talk to Peter if he's not too busy.

Busy? Well, as part of his new studio package deal,

Peter is presently developing a high-concept web series

about the absurdistmisadventures of a wacky groupof insanely competitive racers

in a poorly thought out reboot of a classic animated TV show.

Oh, that sounds awful.

Well, the CG cars will be cool.

Ugh.

Look, will you tell Peter I called?

(LAUGHS)No, bye.

-Oh, who's that? -Ah, a nobody.

How could nobody call me?

No, not nobody, somebody who is a nobody.

How can somebody be nobody?

-Welcome to Hollywood. -(PHONE RINGING)

Oh, it's Harry, I gotta take this.

Shouldn't you finish learning your lines?

Harry, baby, sweet cheeks...

Well, the business of show surely is complicated.

Okay, it says here, gorilla suddenly drops script

-and attacks Peter. -(GORILLA SCREAMING)

PETER: He's peeling me! He's peeling me!

It's time to show this robotic replacement reprobate

who's the real leading man in this race.

(LAUGHING MANICALLY)

Hasta la vista, Dickie.

-I get your point. -Oh, what unoriginal dialogue.

Let's have a ball.

Drat, drat and double drat.

Anti-personnel, hyper-ballistic exploding mouth balls?

What a great robot!

PENELOPE: Oh, my stars and garters.

Mouth balls. (GROANS)

Robot Peter, look out for the...

Uh-oh.

Robot go boom.

No, he was the greatest robot intelligence

-I've ever seen! -CAR:Hurtful.

What's happening?

Let's have lunch.

So cool.

I am back and this time it's personal.

A high-energy nuclear-powered laser chin blaster?

-Awesome! -Is he getting ready to zap us?

Of course not.

Peter 2.0 was programmed to be like Peter.

But he was programmed by (GULPS) Hollywood producers.

Yeah, so I guess he'll have the same sense of morality

as a television producer...

-(ALL GASPING) -Don't call us,

we'll call you.

Run!

Feeling lucky, punk? I loved your screenplay.

I have a few notes.

You're too old for the part.

Muttley, this is all the entertainment industry's fault!

(MUTTLEY SNICKERING)

PETER ROBOT:Go ahead, make my day.

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Dead end. I usually love those.

Oh, butter biscuits.

Have your people call me people.

BELLA: I don't have people.

What an incredibly cool way to be horribly blasted out of existence.

Don't worry, I know how to save you.

There's one thing that can never be harmed on network television.

Our intelligence?

-Oh, please. -Cute baby animals.

(EXCLAIMING ADORINGLY)

Must destroy cute bunny.

(BEEPING)

But can't destroy cute bunny...

Must destroy, but can't destroy.

But can't destroy cute bunny... Self-destruct.

Must self-destruct, must self...

Well, thank you Standards and Practices.

You're welcome.

Now, what say you guys get Peter and bring him home where he belongs.

ALL: Yes!

(WHIMPERING)

Let's have lunch.

(SCREAMING)

DIRECTOR: Places, actors to their places.

Well, I'll be coming right along Mr. Director, sir.

DIRECTOR: Lights, camera, action.

Oh, I do declare your misogyny and unscrupulous war profiteering

-have won my heart. -Frankly, my dear,

-I don't give a... -DASTARDLY: Stop the movie!

Just what do you think you're... (GRUNTS)

No, not you, Harry, I was... Whoa!

We've come to bring you home, Peter.

Why are you dressed like that?

Why do you think? He's playing a beautiful southern belle

trying to have it all in a modern world.

Obviously.

Seriously? You needed a southern woman from our show

-and you hired Peter? -Of course, who else?

(SCREAMING)

I'm so glad you guys are here.

I don't like Hollywood. All anyone does is talk on the phone and have lunch.

Great. Then let's boogie right out of tinsel town

-and get back to racing. -Not so fast.

Peter has an unbreakable contract.

But Peter's not happy here.

Sweetheart, nobody in Hollywood's happy.

I'm back, baby.

Let's party. Let's have lunch.

Head for the chopper.

PETER ROBOT: Now, the hunter has become the hunted.

I'll have to call you back. (YELLS)

I'm your worst nightmare, a robot with a face cannon.

I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.

It's the Peter bot.

He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

-No, Peter darling, him. -Oh, wow.

He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

PETER ROBOT: You had me at hello.

Is this in the script?

I only read my lines.

Hmm, good thing I have a stunt double.

Isn't it, folks?

I can play 20. You look great.

Nobody puts robot in a corner.

Did you read my screenplay?

He is so cool.

Now that you mention it, he is, isn't he?

Let's have lunch.

Look at this guy, he's got it all.

Edgy, dangerous, handsome.

-So very handsome. -Ooh, you are a bad boy

with a chin cannon, I'm gonna make you a star.

I want writing credit.

-You're done, bye-bye. -I am?

But what about my contract?

Someone get this robot into a dress,

we've got a TV show to make.

Let's have lunch, I've always wanted to direct.

Well, I guess we should be going.

We're pleased as peach preserves you're back, Peter darling

but I am sorry about your show getting canceled.

Eh, probably for the best.

Maybe it will get rebooted someday with a smaller mix of classic characters

and fresh new faces.

Bring back a classic show without older characters?

Bleh, what an awful idea.

Maybe the writers could, oh, I don't know,

bring a new absurdist self-referential tone to appeal to a younger,

more media-savvy demographic?

They could update the designs to create a new line of toys.

DASTARDLY: Bah, a cheap ploy to make money.

Audiences will see through that.

I guess some things are better left as they were.

(ALL AGREEING)

That's a wrap on the newWacky Races series.

Great job, everybody.

Hey, did someone order my lunch?

(SNICKERING)

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0