Original subtitles

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SNICKERING)

(RUMBLING)

Bleh.

How much farther to China?

Well, honey, even with the shortcut, it's still quite a ways.

How about last one to Beijing buys the egg rolls?

I.Q.: Actually, that's a common misconception.

Eggrolls are an American dish invented in the 1950's...

Oh, will someone shut the cover on that human encyclopedia?

(SNICKERING)

-What are you laughing at, you mooch of a pooch? -Hmm?

(ALL SCREAMING)

Looks like we're taking a bit of a little ol' detour.

Emergency free-fall protocols.

ELECTRONIC VOICE:Acknowledged.

Technology for the win.

Geronimo.

(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)

(BRAKES SQUEALING)

(CHUCKLES) Oops. Wrong button.

(GRUNTS)

-Perfect landing. -(THUDS)

(GROANS)

Well, nearly perfect.

DASTARDLY: Muttley, deploy the safety chute.

-Mmm-mmm. -No chute?

Then activate the inflatable impact cushions.

(GRUNTS)

The giant, bouncy springs?

-(GRUNTS) -Blindfold.

What's taking the ground so long?

My, my. This is a very interesting place.

How is this possible?

Well, the Hollow Earth theory states that subterranean civilizations are possible,

containing a substantial interior space and an inner most core...

Fantastic, unexplainable magic trick.

-Got it. -That's not...

What do y'all suppose those things are?

(GROWLING)

Chicken.

BELLA: Very scary chickens.

(ALL SCREAMING)

I.Q.: Actually, they're dinosaurs.

-Dinosaurs are the ancestors of modern birds. -What?

PENELOPE: He said dinosaurs were actually, giant, killer chickens.

They're gaing on us.

Chickens, bad.

Muttley, this is all your fault.

(GRUMBLING) Razzle, frazzle...

(ALL YELLING)

(ALL GROANING)

PETER: (GASPS) There's something in the bushes.

(EXCLAIMS) Horrible monsters!

(ALL SNICKERING)

Um, is it just me or do those guys look a little like Muttley?

Hey, they do.

Oh! They're even more horrible than I thought.

Take him instead of me.

ALL: (CHANTING) Holey, moley, moley, moley...

Oh, well, that's better.

Clearly, these are gentle people of discretion and taste

who recognize superior qualities when they meet them.

I think they're actually bowing to...

Yes, yes, Pitstop. I'll handle it from here.

Take us to your leader.

(CHANTING CONTINUES)

Well, would you look at that?

Ugh. What a horrible statue!

Must be used to scare away dino-chickens.

(GRUMBLING) Razzle, frazzle, razzle.

I, Royal Visor of the underworld mole people,

proclaim the fulfillment of ancient prophecy is at hand.

-The great one foretold to us has come at last. -(ALL CHEERING)

-Oh, I see. -You can read that?

Yeah, I can read everything.

I guess.

It says that a handsome king will one day fall from the sky

to save them from their volcano's wrath.

Handsome, eh? (LAUGHS) No wonder they were all so happy to see me.

My people, I accept this moderate honor and...

(ALL CHEERING)

We proclaim the new comer, our king.

(ALL SNICKERING)

What? Him? You've got to be kidding me.

Muttley, stop this foolishness!

You can't be a king. You're my server, subordinate.

(GROWLING)

Good doggies, nice doggies.

Me no like this.

These guys have crazy eyes. Crazy eyes!

Escort these people back to where you found them, at once.

(MUTTERING) Yeah-yeah-yeah.

Muttley! You ungrateful miscreant.

I'll dock your pay for this.

PETER: Later, Muttley.

So long, bud. Enjoy being king.

Tiny miss funny doggie.

Gee, I hope Muttley will be okay.

Who cares.

He abandoned me,

after all that I've done for him.

I don't blame Muttley for staying.

Who wouldn't want to be a king?

I sure wouldn't.

After all, who wants to be dunked into a volcano?

ALL: What?

It was in the hieroglyphics.

At the end of the crowning festival,

they toss the new king into the volcano to appease the fire gods.

Didn't I mention that?

ALL: No!

What are we going to do?

We've gotta get back to the crowning ceremony before it's over

and save Muttley. Follow my lead.

(GASPS) Look, over there!

Something way more interesting than any of us.

(ALL GRUNTING)

Why should I care what happens to Muttley?

Dastardly, he's your best friend.

You're just being stubborn.

Well, it's what I do best.

-Come on, Dastardly. -(SCREAMING)

Forget it. I'm off to finish the race.

Why should I go save that dim-witted dog?

We did have some good times, though.

(LAUGHS)

Like, when he and I put refried beans and cheese

all over the inside of Perfect's car.

(GROWLS)

He thinks he doesn't need me.

Fine. I don't need him. I could win the race.

There's not a thing stopping me from

just driving out of here.

(GROWLING)

Except that. (LAUGHS)

Nothing to do now but go save that ignoble,

ungrateful ingrate.

Thank you, giant, evil dino-chicken.

And don't scuff the paint.

(GROWLS)

(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(ALL CHEERING AND CHANTING)

(SNICKERING, SNAPS FINGERS)

Ah, my liege.

Please continue enjoying yourself in blissful ignorance,

while I go check on your new,

um, super cool fun, uh, party throne.

(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)

(HISSING)

(LAUGHS)

Do you idyllic ingrates even have a plan?

We're gonna sneak in and warn Muttley about the volcano.

Then me and the fellows are gonna grab him and get him back to the car.

How? There are guards everywhere.

Everybody loves entertainment at a party.

What?

Here come the dancers.

(ALL CHANTING)

-(POUNDING) -(SQUEALING)

DASTARDLY: (GROANS) I already regret this.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(VILLAGERS CHANTING)

PENELOPE:♪ Muttley, we gotta get you outta here now

♪ Where these underworld denizens will make you dog chow

♪ These moles are cuties but they're not your friends

♪ The burning volcano might be your end

(VILLAGERS CHANTING)

DASTARDLY:♪ I've been told to inform you

♪ You're going to fry

♪ But I don't really care, I'm not a feely guy

♪ If you want to escape you may want to leave

♪ Or not whatever, do as you please

(VILLAGERS CHANTING)

PENELOPE:♪ It's not really helpful I'll take it from here

♪ Your friends are just looking out for you, dear

♪ I'm sure he didn't mean that verbal assault

♪ Of course, I did, Pitstop Muttley, this is all your

♪ Fault ♪

The upworlder's. Seize them!

(ALL GRUMBLING)

-Drat! -(GRUNTS)

Come on!

Come on, Mr. Muttley,

we've gotta get you outta here.

I got you, Muttley. Don't worry, Muttley. You're safe with...

-(GRUNTS) -(BOTH SNICKERING)

Muttley, you're not helping.

Tickles...

-(LAUGHS MANIACALLY) -Bella!

(TINY EXCLAIMS)

Darlin,' you have to listen to us.

(GRUMBLES)

-Muttley! Stop... -PENELOPE: Oh!

(I.Q. EXCLAIMING)

DASTARDLY: Muttley, get back here!

(ALL GROANING)

Oh, no. Muttley!

-(ALL CHANTING) -(BLOWS RASPBERRY)

What are we gonna do?

(SCREECHING)

Wait. I think I finally have a way to save that megalomaniac mutt.

Now, my King. Time for you to appease the volcano gods.

Uh-oh.

(MUTTERING) Razzle, frazzle.

(GRUNTING)

(MUTTERING) Yeah-yeah-yeah...

I know I've said this before, but I've never meant it more.

Muttley, this is all your fault.

Phew!

Come back here. The king must be sacrificed.

What?

We must exit with alacrity before the Visor sends his troops after us.

PENELOPE: Oh, I have a feelin'

he's gonna be too busy to worry about us.

(ALL CHANTING)

(SNICKERING)

PENELOPE (ON SPEAKER):Great job, everyone.

PETER (ON SPEAKER):Yeah, we're all glad to have you back, Muttley, ol' pal.

Now, Muttley, that you're back under my command,

I have one thing to say to you...

How about this time, we put salsa in Perfect's gas tank when we get back?

(CHUCKLES)

(SNICKERING)

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