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(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
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(SNICKERING)
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-LOUIS XIV: Huzzah! (SLAPPING)
-(SCREAMING)
4
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:41,377
LOUIS XIV: Huzzah! (SLAPPING)
5
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-Ahhh!
-Huzzah!
6
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In yon doth cultured courtyard
7
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rests the obliquely oblivious
object of my sedacious scheme
8
00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:53,483
to make moi,
Cardinal Richelieu, ruler of all France!
9
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:55,257
Who are you taking to?
10
00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:56,462
-To you!
-Hmm?
11
00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,464
The head jailer
of the infamous Bastille prison,
12
00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:01,556
and my co-conspirator
in clandestinely claiming
13
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:03,498
the crown of our
young king-to-be,
14
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,474
Louis XIV!
15
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Oh, because it was weird
that you said who you were, since I know you.
16
00:01:08,904 --> 00:01:13,904
Below us lounges
the lugubrious lynchpin to my symphonic stratagem,
17
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Prince Louis'
dimwitted twin brother,
18
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Buford.
19
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Uh, look how fast
my hoop goes! Huzzah!
20
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Whoa!
21
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(GRUNTING)
22
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-(SPLASHING)
-BUFORD: (ECHOING) Sacrebleu.
23
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He really is not a smart kid.
24
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,034
Exactly.
25
00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:34,033
And therefore,
all the easier to manipulate
26
00:01:34,096 --> 00:01:38,296
when I replace him
for the true prince before the coronation tomorrow.
27
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I get it!
28
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Everyone will think
Buford is Louis,
29
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and you can rule France
as the true power behind the throne!
30
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Magnifique!
31
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I will assign my best
Bastille warden to assist you.
32
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(WHISTLE BLOWS)
33
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(SNICKERING)
34
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Prince Louis
is protected day and night
35
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by his brave, loyal,
and devilishly handsome royal guards,
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the three raceketeers.
37
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Can I count on you
to kidnap the prince from under their very noses?
38
00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:08,064
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
39
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(KISSING)
40
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Then we cannot fail,
and all of France will soon be mine!
41
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(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
42
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(LAUGHING MERRILY)
43
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Catch me if you can,
my loyal raceketeers!
44
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-Je suis Aramis.-Je suis Athos.
45
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I'm Porto.
46
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Porthos, your name is Porthos,
my brother.
47
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-(LOUIS XIV LAUGHING)
-PORTHOS: Playing with prince. Fun.
48
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LOUIS XIV: Ha, ha, ha!
ARAMIS: A-ha!
49
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(ALL LAUGHING)
50
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(TIRES SQUEALING)
51
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Whee!
52
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All for one!
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Every man for himself!
54
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-Porthos' butt hurt.
-(ATHOS GROANING)
55
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Howdy, Your Majesty!
56
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Whoa.
57
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-Ooh.
-Whoa.
58
00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:04,053
It's such a pleasure
to meet you, Your Highness.
59
00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:06,988
And who might you be,
you dashing, young bon vivant?
60
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:08,564
I'm D'Artagnan, y'all.
61
00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:11,163
You seem like a brave
and fine swashbuckler.
62
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,925
Wanna hang with us
and join my guards?
63
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Oh, let's do!
We can be blood brothers.
64
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Fun.
65
00:03:17,766 --> 00:03:20,326
Well, I wouldn't mind
helping y'all out protecting the noble young prince.
66
00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:22,841
And also reminding him
to brush after snack time,
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like a good little
hereditary monarch.
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Aw, must I?
69
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,680
-(SLOBBERING)
It's only snails. -Oh, my. Yes.
70
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-Yeah, as much as possible.
-Okay.
71
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(HUMMING)
72
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(GRIMACING)
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Whoa!
74
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:40,092
-(SNICKERING)
-Is it time for nighty night already?
75
00:03:40,154 --> 00:03:42,494
Inside of this bag
smells like onions,
76
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:43,556
which I love.
77
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(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
78
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:50,562
That is one great evil laugh.
79
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:51,801
I practice a lot.
80
00:03:51,865 --> 00:03:56,865
It's all in the diaphragm,
really.
81
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-(PANTING)
-I could just walk, you know.
82
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,275
Ah! (GROANS)
83
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:08,077
-Hey!
-(BANGING ON DOOR)
84
00:04:08,149 --> 00:04:10,749
You can't do this!
I know people in high places!
85
00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,418
I'll tell the prince!
86
00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:13,646
Wait a minute.
87
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:14,920
That's me.
88
00:04:14,989 --> 00:04:16,619
Darn, didn't think
that one through.
89
00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:19,261
(ECHOING) But I am definitely
in a high place.
90
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:22,227
Raceketeers, where are you?
91
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,266
-(PANTING)
-Is it done?
92
00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:26,232
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.
93
00:04:26,301 --> 00:04:28,471
-(PANTING CONTINUES)
-You're out of shape. You should eat more snails.
94
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,465
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
95
00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:32,307
You wanted to see me?
96
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:36,743
Yes!
Yes, come in, dear Buford.
97
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,980
(GROANING)
The floor tripped me.
98
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:41,216
A thousand pardons, my Buford.
99
00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:43,122
I'll have that floor fixed.
100
00:04:43,184 --> 00:04:44,724
Uh, Your Bufordness,
101
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,845
how would you like to be king?
102
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:49,760
Uh, might be cool, I guess.
103
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,733
But, isn't that
my brother's job?
104
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,562
He's, uh, busy at the moment.
105
00:04:53,628 --> 00:04:56,498
And he told me to tell you
that he wants you to fill in.
106
00:04:56,564 --> 00:05:00,134
He also wants
everyone to call you Louis.
107
00:05:00,201 --> 00:05:02,241
-Isn't that lovely?
-(CLAPPING)
108
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,502
Is it?
109
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:06,140
Oh! In that case, huzzah!
110
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Huzzah, indeed, My Prince.
111
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:10,012
Now, off to court.
112
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(GROANING) Ah!
113
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(SPLASHING)
114
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BUFORD: (ECHOING)
I fell into the sewer again.
115
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:20,288
Our beloved Crown
Prince Louis XIV,
116
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,924
-who is not an imposter...
-(SLURPING)
117
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Has a list of royal decrees
that he wishes me to announce.
118
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ALL: Huzzah!
119
00:05:28,096 --> 00:05:30,826
Hmm, something is
just not quite right with the prince.
120
00:05:30,898 --> 00:05:32,298
Huh? You sure?
121
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:34,735
(GRUNTING)
122
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,802
-He looks fine to me.
-(GROANS) Come on, y'all.
123
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,171
-Bring him, too.
-Ah!
124
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,010
All citizens,
from this day forth, must...
125
00:05:41,075 --> 00:05:43,575
May we have a word with you,
My Prince?
126
00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:45,813
Your Highness?
127
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,949
Louis XIV?
128
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:50,345
-Hey, you!
-Oh! Uh, hello.
129
00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:52,188
(RICHELIEU CONTINUES SPEAKING)
130
00:05:52,253 --> 00:05:55,263
Have you come to give me
more French vanilla ice cream?
131
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:58,032
Mmm, we just call it
vanilla ice cream here.
132
00:05:58,092 --> 00:06:00,692
But, of course,
Louis XIV would know that.
133
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:01,731
Hi, Buford.
134
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,825
Hi, Porthos.
135
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,927
So, where is the real prince?
136
00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,199
On vacation?
137
00:06:07,268 --> 00:06:08,738
In Spain, I think?
138
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:09,802
-Spain?
-Huh?
139
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,340
Uh, yeah.
140
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:14,065
I overheard that my brother
was staying in Bastille.
141
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:15,611
That's in Spain, right?
142
00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:17,706
-(ALL GASPING)
-That rotten Richelieu
143
00:06:17,779 --> 00:06:20,279
has the prince
imprisoned in the Bastille!
144
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:22,417
Hurry, raceketeers,
there's not a moment to lose!
145
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:25,823
Thank you.
I wonder what they're up to.
146
00:06:25,887 --> 00:06:30,857
I don't suppose you know
where those rapacious raceketeers are off to,
147
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,634
do you, Your Highness?
148
00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:35,462
Uh, they went to Spain.
149
00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:36,628
Spain?
150
00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:38,326
Yes! To see my brother!
151
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,398
Drat!
152
00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,297
Off to the Bastille
to rescue Louis!
153
00:06:41,369 --> 00:06:43,269
-All for one!
-And one for all!
154
00:06:43,337 --> 00:06:44,737
Women and children first!
155
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:48,675
PORTHOS: I like kitten.
156
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:53,082
Move it!
157
00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:56,877
(SNICKERING)
158
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,620
A-ha!
159
00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:03,355
A-ha!
160
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,693
A-ha!
161
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,229
(SNICKERING)
162
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:10,364
(GROANS)
Let's see how heroically to the rescue they feel
163
00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:15,431
after a taste of my latest
super-advanced secret weapon!
164
00:07:16,237 --> 00:07:17,907
-(CANNON WHIZZING)
-What was that?
165
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,841
(CANNON BOOMING)
166
00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,607
Balls.
167
00:07:21,676 --> 00:07:25,006
-(CANNON EXPLODING)
-Super-advanced secret military balls.
168
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:28,450
D'ARTAGNAN: I think Richelieu
found out we discovered his nefarious scheme!
169
00:07:28,516 --> 00:07:31,216
Drat!
Looks like I'll have to cut them down to size!
170
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:35,285
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
171
00:07:35,356 --> 00:07:37,286
He'll slice us
into French fries.
172
00:07:37,358 --> 00:07:41,708
We just call them fries here.
173
00:07:45,466 --> 00:07:47,166
Accelerez, my fellow raceketeers!
174
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:48,844
We need to slow him down!
175
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,372
Porto do.
176
00:07:50,438 --> 00:07:53,208
Right, just leave it to us.
177
00:07:53,274 --> 00:07:55,544
-(PORTHOS GRUNTS)
-(ARAMIS GRUNTS)
178
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:56,709
BOTH: Ah!
179
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,807
(GRUNTING)
180
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:03,220
Go ahead of me,
and beat them to the Bastille, no matter what!
181
00:08:03,284 --> 00:08:07,024
(SNICKERING)
182
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:09,657
(GRUNTING)
183
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:11,523
D'ARTAGNAN: Sacrebleu!
184
00:08:11,591 --> 00:08:13,131
(SNICKERING)
185
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,733
Uh-oh.
186
00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:16,255
We're French toast.
187
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,070
We just call it toast here.
Ha!
188
00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:21,473
-(ALL GROWLING)
-Razzle-frazzle, razzle-frazzle...
189
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:24,065
Can you boys cover me
while I rescue the prince?
190
00:08:24,138 --> 00:08:26,008
Of course we can.
All for one!
191
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:30,813
ALL: And one for all!
192
00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:32,077
ALL: Ah!
193
00:08:32,146 --> 00:08:34,006
(GRUNTING)
194
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:37,151
Whoo!
195
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,287
That's music...
196
00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:39,392
My...
Head.
197
00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:41,493
(SPEAKING GROGGILY)
198
00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:44,525
LOUIS XIV: Prince Louis,
you're so very tall
199
00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:46,532
Yes, I am very tall.
(CHUCKLES)
200
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:48,334
Save me,
Your Very Tall Highness.
201
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:50,055
The peasants are revolting!
202
00:08:50,131 --> 00:08:53,201
They certainly are.
Would you like to see me shoot some free throws?
203
00:08:53,267 --> 00:08:54,797
-D'ARTAGNAN: Your Highness!
-(GASPS)
204
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,238
Uh, D'Artagnan!
205
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:58,743
They're not dolls,
they're action figures.
206
00:08:58,805 --> 00:08:59,805
Right.
207
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,073
Let's get you out of here.
208
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,781
(SNICKERING)
209
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:03,843
Ooh!
210
00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:05,410
(GRUNTS)
211
00:09:05,479 --> 00:09:08,119
En garde, mon petit chien.
212
00:09:08,182 --> 00:09:10,022
(BOTH GRUNTING)
213
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:10,683
Huh?
214
00:09:15,523 --> 00:09:19,273
Okay, that's pretty neat.
215
00:09:20,862 --> 00:09:24,302
I'll take it from here,
you French provincial pooch.
216
00:09:24,365 --> 00:09:25,795
-My dolls!
-(DOLL SQUEAKS)
217
00:09:25,867 --> 00:09:29,197
-Uh, I mean, my collectibles.
-Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
218
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:31,739
-Drat!
-(SPLASHING)
219
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:36,175
(HUMMING)
220
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,053
-Hmm?
-Mmm-hmm?
221
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,452
ALL: Mmm-hmm? (GRUNTING)
222
00:09:41,515 --> 00:09:45,545
-(SPLASHING)
-RICHELIEU: Muttleys! This is all your faults!
223
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:48,219
Razzle-frazzle,
razzle, razzle...
224
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,058
We win again, raceketeers!
225
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:51,933
ALL: Huzzah!
226
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,462
Okay, so that just happened.
227
00:09:53,527 --> 00:09:55,557
D'Artagnan,
you have rescued me.
228
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:57,929
Come on, Your Majesty,
let's get you out of here.
229
00:09:57,998 --> 00:09:59,198
Hold on, Your Highness.
230
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:00,366
You forgot my dolls.
231
00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:01,944
My beautiful dolls!
232
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:04,102
Mind if we drop in?
233
00:10:04,171 --> 00:10:07,241
Oh, pun's lowest
form of humor.
234
00:10:07,309 --> 00:10:10,139
We need to get back
to the palace in time to stop the coronation!
235
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:14,280
(NEIGHING)
236
00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:16,418
I hereby crown you
237
00:10:16,484 --> 00:10:17,494
-King of...
-(STRAING)
238
00:10:17,551 --> 00:10:20,091
Hey! Hey. Whoo! Stop moving!
239
00:10:20,154 --> 00:10:22,164
Hold it!
We have the real prince.
240
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:24,692
Hi, everybody. I'm back.
241
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,228
ALL: Sacrebleu!
242
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,833
Boy, am I glad
to see you guys.
243
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,655
-Really?
-Oh, gosh, yes!
244
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,500
ALL: Aw.
245
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:34,066
-BOTH: Huzzah!
-Well then,
246
00:10:34,135 --> 00:10:37,535
-I guess I hereby crown
the real Louis XIV... -(CHEERING)
247
00:10:37,605 --> 00:10:40,305
-King of France!
-ALL: Huzzah!
248
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:41,584
-(KISSES)
-(CLICKS)
249
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:44,142
-All for one.
-ALL: And one for all!
250
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,711
(CHEERING)
251
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,454
Drat!
252
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:55,521
Those rapscallion raceketeers
may have saved France from my schemes,
253
00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:58,629
but we'll see if England
could use a new king!
254
00:10:58,692 --> 00:10:59,962
(SNICKERING)
255
00:11:00,012 --> 00:11:04,562
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